Starting Over

by La Toya Jackson, Jeffré Phillips

La Toya Jackson was always closer to Michael than anyone knew. In this heartfelt memoir, she pays tribute to his tortured soul—revealing the intimate moments she shared with the deeply troubled pop legend. The first sibling to arrive at the hospital after Michael was rushed there, and the informant on his death certificate, La Toya noticed suspicious details and demanded a second autopsy. For the first time, she unveils shocking behind-the-scenes dealings that she believes led to her brother’s death, and she provides unprecedented insight into the destruction of one of the most dynamic artist/performers in history.
In an account sure to send shock waves around the globe, La Toya sheds new light on the dynamics of the Jackson family and the curtain of secrecy and intrigue that has surrounded her brother Michael, and the rest of the Jackson children, since they became stars in the ’60s and ’70s. She explains her estrangement from— and gradual reconciliation with—one of America’s most famous and close-knit families.

Like Michael, La Toya experienced an upbringing that made her vulnerable to exploitation, and her own journey led to hell and back at the hands of her former manager and husband, Jack Gordon. Sharing with honesty and an open heart some of the most painful episodes of her life story, La Toya reveals how anyone—regardless of fame, fortune, or status—can be trapped in a cycle of abuse, and how she was able to find the courage to rebuild her shattered sense of self, her career, and her relationship with her family, and to finally break free.

This tale will touch the hearts of the millions who are fans of the Jackson family’s music as well as those who have ever shared a special relationship with a sibling. Not just the story of the world’s most renowned family, this memoir will inspire anyone who feels as if their life has fallen apart and there’s nowhere to go, unless they too can learn to truly start over. . .

Genres: Biography, Music, Nonfiction, Autobiography, Biography Memoir, Memoir

340 pages, ebook

First published June 21, 2011

Reviews

[Paula · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't really want to talk about his death because it saddens me! I had chills and goosebumps reading his final days and his service. :( He will never be replaced.

Overall the book gave insight to the Jackson life, especially La Toya and the days leading up to her brother's death. I didn't read her first book, I have no interest in it because I didn't believe it. I wanted to read this one and that of Janet's...after all they are the only connection left to Michael Jackson's memory and life (other than his young children). I, also, do not understand how a family member isn't on the estate board, especially his mother....of anyone who is going to look out after his kids...his mother will!!!

Latoya- overall, as a MJ fan, it was clear to me that something wasn't right. First why would someone speak out against the Jackson name if they want to continue to have fame, etc?! Even in America, where we are full of judgmental people, would we think that would be alright regardless of how much America thinks the Jackson's are crazy (I don't know them, but they appear to be as functional or dysfunctional like every other American family! Secondly, being that their mother appears to be the rock of the family, to go against her or disappoint her...within the family unit you would clearly be burning bridged. Thirdly...to go from supporting your brother, to going against him in what appeared to be days....didn't seem right in my head. Forth-I believe it was on Maury that Latoya was on with Gordon...the whole thing seemed shady and with him (Gordon) being RIGHT there in nearly every single picture frame....looked like he was controlling to me. And if I remember correctly I believe the host of that show seemed to lean the same way?! Fifth-even if you were to rebel against your mother and family (many people do), someone who is very connected with their religion probably wouldn't go against that (JW, I'm assuming would not be a fan of posing for playboy if they don't even like to have parties). It's unusual for someone to rebel against EVERYTHING... I do believe we all go through things for a reason...we may never know what those reasons may be but usually it makes us stronger in life. I believe we are meant to go through things to make us learn and grow! Otherwise why would we be here if it was perfect?!

When it comes to riding coat tails or trying to gain fame in MJ's name (orJanet's)--I imagine that everyone in the Jackson clan (brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews) are damned if they do and damned if they don't. If you don't put anything out there-well that must mean they are living off of their brother's money. If they do put stuff out there-that must mean they are hurting for money and using the Jackson name to make it. They should be able to make a living!

Child molestation-it absolutely sickens me that this could happen to him. Though I certainly do not agree with his lifestyle completely (how innocent I believe it was, I wouldn't have my child sleep in a grown man's bed...). Everything MJ has put out or said has contradicted the charges against him. Just like being anti-Semitic, if you listen to his lyrics and words....clearly he's not hateful!!

America- america's judgmental personality disgusts me. And it is quite sad and pathetic and I completely see why celebrities choose to go elsewhere. The media is brutal and harsh when, in fact, they know nothing about a person. Which unfortunately, as a fan that lives in America, didn't help me. Didn't help me get his music, had to pay megabucks for merchandise that was sold overseas, didn't help me attend his concerts. It just so happened that I became a mega fan during Dangerous (I was about 13, he helped me overcome suicide)- as we all know the Dangerous tour ended short. HIStory tour, I believe only came to Hawaii. I was "this" close to going to the NY 30th anniversary concerts. Thankfully I didn't, the person I was going to meet up with ended up being at the wrong place at the wrong time Sept 11th :( I know he didn't mean or want to leave his American fans out but I also knew how cruel they (not the fans) were to him :( it wasn't fair especially because we nor they (media, naysayers, etc) knew HIM!!!

Neverland- I wish they didn't taint the environment. Today that place could have been MJ's Graceland.

Paris, Prince, Blanket- how well adjusted they appear to be. Paris is growing into a beautiful young woman. Watching her onstage at her father's memorial...it's clear that she has the famous itch! She had no issues singing in front of all of those people. I wish them a lot of success, regardless of what they choose to do in life!! Prince looks to have taken over the role of being strong, etc. Blanket...watching him on Oprah reminded me of his father on interviews...very shy.

Mrs. Katherine Jackson-what a pure soul she looks to be! Kind, caring, gentle but straight forward...her on Oprah, her words when Oprah asked Mr Jackson a question...I laugh thinking about it to this day. What it must have been like to bury her own child before herself or her husband :(

FINALLY MICHAEL-I hope he is resting in peace! I hope his music and message lives on FOREVER. I do not view him as GOD, I am not a fanatic. I'm a person who is grateful for his music and message. If it wasn't for him, I may not be here today. Being teased, stared at and tormented myself every day growing up because I was different...suicidal from ages of 9-13ish... His songs "Will You Be There" and "Keep the Faith" changed my life forever. Regardless of how much he altered himself, his perfectionistic personality, or his father's choice of upbringing...Michael Jackson was still a human being, a man with dignity, class, respect, LOVE, feelings..... Out of all of the crap that was said about him...he was still living life, making music...I do not know how he did without giving up (as I'm sure he was tortured...people don't change if they are happy with themselves) but I'm grateful!! His strength and determination to continue, helped me continue as well. I'm not sure ANYONE can see or understand his impact on this other than his fans and maybe his family! And the funny thing is...a person who was negatively viewed in the public, called names (child molester, crazy, weird, ugly,etc)....after he died-did you hear ANYONE talk bad about him? ANYONE!?! The people that knew him? All I ever heard was what a great soul he was....how giving he was...how down to earth he was...how caring, compassionate and loving he was....what a great friend he was....what a wonderful and devoted father he was....he wouldn't hurt a soul...he was quiet but polite and kind...he was a wonderful entertainer, a life changing dancer, a wonderful role model. Out of all the crap that has been said throughout the years.....does that sound like a person who deserved to have been dragged through the mud for years and years?!? Absolutely not!!! It is sad...very very sad to me. I just think if it was different for him...would he be the same person? If he didn't go thru what he did....would he be kind, caring, compassionate? Would he be as popular as he was? Negativity is definitely hurtful, it doesn't make it right but if it didn't happen that way for him...I'm not sure if I would had viewed him the way I did. I'm not sure if I would have seen the light of staying alive if it wasn't for his being, music, words, etc....know what I mean?! As selfish as it may sound...

[fleegan · Rating 1 out of 5]

I can’t believe I read this. I mean, I’m a sucker for a memoir sure, but even for me this seemed off.

Two things:

1. The first part of the book where she writes about how her manager/husband abused her for years? That part was okay. It wasn’t fun to read about or anything, but it was important and real and that makes for a good book.

2. The second part of the book where she talks about her brother Michael, and then claims that there was a conspiracy to murder him even though she hasn’t one tiny piece of evidence other than Michael once told her that he thought someone was going to try to kill him, well, that half of the book was ridiculous. She went on too long saying the same thing over and over, but never actually explained her conspiracy theory at all. Redundant, uninteresting, pointless.

One other thing:

1. Apparently she was on a reality tv show called Armed and Famous and I guess it’s like celebrity COPS. So she was on it and she was sworn in as an officer in some town in Indiana and her partner was a real police officer. So she films this tv show for 5 weeks, right? Now I’m not saying that’s not a tough gig, you don’t see me volunteering or anything, however, in the book she keeps saying things like, “As a police officer…” and then when she’s spouting off about this conspiracy theory of hers about MJ’s death she’s all, “Using my experience as a police officer…” or whatever, I mean, no. Lady, you’re not a police officer. You were on a show. For 5 weeks. Stop it.

[Brad Jae · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book completely blow me away... I have a better understanding on La Toya Jackson!!even though I always liked La Toya Jackson I have a better situation with the whole Jack Gordon events and accounts. Thanks La Toya for writing such inspirational and inspiring memoir!!!

[Marcia Furman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought Michael had a messed up life! Wow. This is a must read for any Jackson family fans.

[Tina · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a heartbreaking, but triumphant story of LaToya Jackson.
This is my 4th time reading it and I’m still just as blown away as I was the first time I read it as a 16 year old.

I will still never read her first book since it was orchestrated by her abuser, Jack Gordon. I don’t think you need to read that book in order to read this one.

Like her, I believe Michael was murdered and she covered his last days leading up to his burial wonderfully. It gives context to everything we weren’t privy to & for that, I’m grateful she decided to share with us.

[Winter Sophia Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

Riveting, Inspirational & Enlightening!

[NON · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's only fair to read this book after reading her previous autobiography, La Toya: Growing Up in the Jackson Family because the previous book details her life as a Jackson growing up with her siblings under her parents guidance right until her faux marriage to her then manager, Jack Gordon. While this memoir, Starting Over, is about what really went on behind closed doors regarding her life with her abusive manager/husband. However, it's divided into two parts, in which La Toya attempts to set the record straight about two major “events” that defined and changed her life forever.

The story picks up from where it was left off from her previous book; the aftermath of marrying her abusive manager who according to her statements manipulated, abused, tortured and blackmailed her for more than a decade. He threatened that he'd harm her family and kill Michael Jackson if she didn't comply with his orders. He also isolated her entirely from just about everyone, she hinted that he might have used some sort of medication on her and probably that explain why she was experiencing types of paranoia and hallucinations about her own family. In other words, he had her under his control —and as she puts it, he abducted her. This first segment of the book details not only the abuse she endured but what was her breaking point that led to her eventual escape.

The other section of the book is regarding her brother's untimely death which was ruled by the coroner as a homicide. From my observation, I noticed that almost all of the Jackson family believe (know?) that Michael Jackson was killed, and Conrad Murray was not alone in this; some even stated that he's a patsy or a front that is protecting those who wanted Michael Jackson dead. La Toya and Joe Jackson were among the first ones from the family to raise their voices to ask questions about the shady happenings but they were quickly silenced by character assassination tactics. However, La Toya tries in this book to put out her concerns and suspicions —even if at times, she points indirectly to what she thinks could've happened, and who could be behind this.*

The most striking revelation came from one of her conversations with Michael Jackson's daughter, Paris.

“‘He was always freezing. And he needed a doctor. And then, they turned the lights out. We were in the dark.’ This final statement got my attention. (...) ‘Paris come here, I said. They turned the lights out?’ ‘Yes, and they cut the phones off,’” (p368)

It must be said that somehow the book's description makes it appear as though she'll be revealing who killed Michael Jackson or some new information. That's not the case, La Toya is merely sharing the information she gathered in her search for the truth about what happened to her brother. Only through the questions she's asking, one can find a trace of what most members of the Jackson family think is behind that.

In the book, she also talks about her battle for divorce and how she tried to sew her life back together after Gordon, the 2005 trial, and all that went on regarding Michael's burial, and memorial.

This was my second read and I had to say that I appreciated it far more. La Toya Jackson is a survivor; her life experience is filled with lessons which encourage other people to start over —it's never too late. This memoir has its ups and downs but it's an essential read nonetheless.

*Check out What Really Happened to Michael Jackson, the King of Pop: The Evil Side of the Entertainment Industry for more information of this sort.

[Helen Azar · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't know if I fully buy into La Toya's Manchurian Candidate-esque account about Jack Gordon, it's a bit over the top, but the book was enjoyable and the author comes off as likable. It's interesting to see things from the perspective of one of Michael Jackson's sisters. Just for the fact that I finished the book it gets 4 stars.

[Ice]

La Toya Jackson was always closer to Michael than anyone knew. In this heartfelt memoir, she pays tribute to his tortured soul—revealing the intimate moments she shared with the deeply troubled pop legend. The first sibling to arrive at the hospital after Michael was rushed there, and the informant on his death certificate, La Toya noticed suspicious details and demanded a second autopsy. For the first time, she unveils shocking behind-the-scenes dealings that she believes led to her brother’s death, and she provides unprecedented insight into the destruction of one of the most dynamic artist/performers in history.
In an account sure to send shock waves around the globe, La Toya sheds new light on the dynamics of the Jackson family and the curtain of secrecy and intrigue that has surrounded her brother Michael, and the rest of the Jackson children, since they became stars in the ’60s and ’70s. She explains her estrangement from— and gradual reconciliation with—one of America’s most famous and close-knit families.

Like Michael, La Toya experienced an upbringing that made her vulnerable to exploitation, and her own journey led to hell and back at the hands of her former manager and husband, Jack Gordon. Sharing with honesty and an open heart some of the most painful episodes of her life story, La Toya reveals how anyone—regardless of fame, fortune, or status—can be trapped in a cycle of abuse, and how she was able to find the courage to rebuild her shattered sense of self, her career, and her relationship with her family, and to finally break free.

[Liebes Buch · Rating 5 out of 5]

I guess all of us know La Toya Jackson as the black sheep of the Jackson family. What most of us don´t know is that she wasn´t responsible for the bad choices she made. At 30 when she wanted to get independent from her family she became the victim of her criminal manager who was connected to the mafia. On a businesstrip to Japan he took her passport and that was the beginning of a decade of violence, abuse and isolation. La Toya was basically kidnapped and not allowed to meet her family or even talk on the phone. Her husband would threat her and beat her- to the point when he called the police reporting that she was dead. But she survived and finally managed to escape. In her book she describes the fear and shame of the abuse and how she was destroyed as a human being and as an artist. It is shocking to read how domestic violence is the same no matter if you are famous or just an ordinary person. The last part of the book deals with the death of her brother Michael.He also becomes the victim of a bruutal management that isolates him from the rest of the world. While La Toya succeeded in running away Michael Jackson didn´t escape. I had no idea how easy it is to be totally absorbed by managers who control your life. I am deeply impressed by this book. This is one of the best books I ever read.

[Maya Hollinshead]

I know you think that this whole book is about Michael. But it's not. About half of the book is about her abusive relationship to her ex-husband/manager. 1/4th is about recovering from that and being able to move on with her life and the rest is about Michael's death. She does has some theories about her brother's passing (that he was killed for his estate and song catalog). But it's not a bad book.

[Cheryl · Rating 1 out of 5]

She's a nutcase, along with the rest of the family. (Aren't we all though?) I only read this book because I didn't have a "J" book author in mind, so my friend lent it to me. It was painfully slow, and La Toya very repetetive in her phrases. Some of her word choices were so ridiculous. No one in their right mind speaks like that. At any rate, I think the most interesting part of the story is about the end of MJ's life, and his last days, and even that wasn't all that interesting.

[Cherry Martin · Rating 3 out of 5]

More a 3.5. Mostly about La Toya's story of surviving Jack Gordon, but the last quarter looks into the facts that don't add up surrounding MJ's death. A lot of details that only the family could share strengthen your suspicions of the circumstances of his death, but you can't help but feel that you should perhaps take La Toya's writing with a small pinch of salt.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very fascinating look into the lives of the famous Jackson family written by Latoya's perspective. They have been through so much, yet they keep smiling and moving forward. I learned a lot not only about them, but with dealing with problems in my own personal life as well. I highly recommend this book!

[Shannan Harper · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was an ok story. It focused more about her life with her ex husband, which is probably where the title came from, but it seems as it was being marketed as if she knew who killed her brother. There were some talk of that in the book, but that doesn't seem to be the actual focus of the book as a whole. It was one I got from the library

[Sarah Arntson · Rating 2 out of 5]

As a person who didn't know anything about this Jackson sibling, I thought it was interesting to hear La Toya talk about her life. The book was easy enough to read, and entertaining enough to keep me reading to the end. Not the best written book, but not the worst either.

[Herb · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty good read. She manages to sort out the nonsense from her first book that her abusive ex-husband made her write. Worth a look.

[Dena Morehouse · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book!

[Sharon]

Just starting. Should be interesting. She's the most hidden of the Jackson family.

Had to stop on page 45. He was a control freak. She writes well. Too rough a life for me.

[Theresa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow! She went threw hell

[Coletha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartbreaking yet encouraging!

[Rachelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good book, not sure I believe everything about Michael.

[Elise Gegauff · Rating 4 out of 5]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1n-l...

[Natasha Pink · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book review:Latoya Jackson:Starting over

Starting Over could not have been a more appropriate title for La Toya Jackson's autobiography. Inside, Ms. La Toya Jackson describes in detail her upbringing, family relationships, her naivete, the abusive relationship with ex husband/manager Jack Gordon, and most admirably, her escape from him. Anyone who has suffered physical and/or emotional abuse will be inspired when they read how La Toya, against all odds, gathered the courage and strength to say enough is enough, ask for help, and "start over" in life.

La Toya admits she did not set out to share her ordeal. It wasn't until she appeared on Larry King Live in 2003 that she was inspired to do so, per Mr. King himself. I for one am glad he planted that seed in her mind that night. As a result, many victims of abuse know they're not alone, that there really is help out there, and that it's never too late to heal and begin again.

La Toya's book also focuses on her relationship with her famous brother Michael as well as his tragic passing and subsequent investigation into his death. Though intriguing, I couldn't help but wish the police investigation had concluded before this book's publication; the reader is kind of left hanging in this regard. Nevertheless, I'm glad La Toya revealed the details she did.

For me personally I enjoyed reading about La Toya herself more than anything, specifically how she went from naive and weak to worldly. I read how La Toya described her mindset brought on by the abuse (all the self-doubt, insecurity, irrational fear, etc.) How she overcame this mindset by learning to love herself and realizing she didn't deserve such treatment. The moment she grabbed the phone in her hotel room and asked her family for help was quite riveting - and quite the turning point for her. I imagine it was one of the most difficult things she ever had to do, considering her family estrangement and risking another beating from Jack Gordon if he were to overhear.

I was happy to learn the Jackson family welcomed her back with open arms and warm hearts and that her relationships with her parents and Michael had been mended and were stronger than ever. Just goes to show what the power of love can do. :)

This book is extremely well written and is a fascinating read. Definitely hard to put down! It also contains a number of wonderful Jackson family photographs, which are sure to captivate you. Thank you, La Toya, for sharing them - and your life experiences, of course. God bless you for the encouragement and inspiration you have given to abuse victims everywhere. I highly recommend reading this book!!

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh-my-gosh! This is an autiobiography that will leave if you didnt know anything about latoya jackson , stunned .....to the abuse!
mortyfied as latoya must of been to how one husband ... the minipipulation and deciet!
and absolutly mystified as to the will to continue latoya jackson actually had from the 90's the sodid business deals and the playboy mags
throughout becoming an officer
to 2009 and michael jackson's death .....
this book gives you an insight to the music industry from the very start that nobody would if i had read this autiobiography (although im glad in a way i didnt) back then in 1997/1998 believe possible today being 2025 and the diddy courtcase which as shocked millions worldwide of the decades of music industry damage !

After the reader gets over what actually latoya went through to achieve sucess in more then one way ...in more then one moment the ending of this autiobiography is amazing
from the staples center- the 02 arena to forrest lawn ....

an amazing book of bewilderment but joy that latoya is still lotoya jackson full of great sucess and musical telented has the other jacksons

[Eshelle Butler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible!

Latoya Jackson has been through so much throughout her life and has proven just how strong she truly is. I admire her for her strength and kindness and her courage against adversity. After reading this book which is incredible, I have gained a lot of respect for Latoya and the struggles she has been forced to deal with in order to survive the ordeal with Jack Gordon and the intense pain of losing her brother, Michael Jackson. In her quest to get the answers she desires concerning his death, I wish her luck and a prayer for protection so that the people behind the murder of her brother never try to harm her or anyone else and are someday brought to justice. This book is fabulous and a must-read.

[Jean Jessup · Rating 5 out of 5]

I devoured this book! I read it at the time I was researching narcissistic abuse and seeing it all throughout my life. It was depressing and so sad about all the people who took advantage of La Toya and Michael. The music industry is filled with horrible, greedy people who care little for the people they represent. The book was also educational, if you can read between the lines, about how a person's upbringing can contribute to being taken advantage of later in life.

If you are interested in what makes a person tick and interpersonal relationships, this book is for you!

And this book turned me on to the TV Show, ARMED & FAMOUS. I absolutely love this show! Too bad it was cancelled so soon. I got to see the shows on YouTube.

[Nathalie · Rating 4 out of 5]

To this day a lot of people believe that La Toya Jackson is a liar who betrayed her own family, fueled by the interview she gave condemning Michael for child molestation as well as her revealing photo shoots for Playboy. I would recommend this book to anyone who feels that way, because it will answer all of their questions. It also provides some insight into Michael Jackson's final years and death.

The first two-thirds of the book are about La Toya's abusive relationship with her former husband, Jack Gordon. She describes the abuse in detail, as well as the effect it had on her emotional state. At times it can be uncomfortable to read, but it does make for a good book. I felt like I was right there with her, trying to find a way out of the situation she found herself in.

The final part of the book is largely about Michael Jackson. La Toya describes the last few times she met up with him, as well as what she did on the day of his death and in the weeks and months after. She details where she was when she found out Michael had been taken to the hospital, and what things were like when she arrived there. She also describes the disagreements the family had about Michael's funeral and burial location, and how she watched over Michael's remains in the weeks after his death.

I had tears in my eyes during some of the later sections of the book. Well worth a read for anyone interested in the jackson family.

[Paige · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such an important read if you’re at all easily swayed by media gossip and drama in the celebrity world. I really enjoyed learning about the Jackson family and what makes them human just like the rest of us. What happened to Michael, La Toya, and undoubtedly many other people in the industry is tragic and sick. Money can really strip people of their humanity when they’re in a position to almost have it all... this telling of the story explains that well. All the best to the Jackson family!

[Jan Tisdale · Rating 5 out of 5]

La Toya was badly abused by her husband Golden and how she got away. She talks about her upbringing. She reveals how Michael was troubled and suspicious details of what led to his death.
“My opinion from reading book is that Michael may of been murdered and he knew it would happen.
People who are abused often have a hard time getting away from the abuser.
This book was a real eye opener.
A must read book.