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The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them
The Manual is the ultimate and only guide to getting girls and to understand women once and for all. This is why guys that read it don't read or recommend anything else. Because the few men who "get it" spend the rest of their lives enjoying sexy girls in abundance – and so can you.
You can learn to get ANY girl you want, the same way that all men who are naturally good with women have. The only difference is that you may learn it much FASTER, instead of wasting tons of time and money on fruitless dates or a new car/haircut/shirt that you BELIEVE will make you more attractive – but really doesn't.
You see; men LACK success with women because they either don't understand what women are attracted to, or because they THINK that they do know, but have the wrong ideas and hence waste a lot of time - sometimes their entire life - chasing things they don't need. You know you have to get this book if you believe women want men with money, cars, or anything else that is manmade, because that doesn't make any sense. If women really were attracted to something unnatural, how did men meet women before any of those things were invented?
The approach you'll learn in The Manual is very different from conventional dating and the advice you find in the mainstream media because it focuses on natural attraction – on what women REALLY want – not what they CLAIM they want or what males in general BELIEVE women want. It incorporate men’s and women’s socialization and explains phenomenas such as why men think women are attracted to things such as money (yet money is a man-made invention that has not even EXISTED very long) and why women “play hard to get” (a well-known phrase which amusingly reveals that women ARE easy but only pretend not to be).
This is why the beginning of the book addresses your basic beliefs and mindset, because if you learn to THINK correctly, you will automatically behave correctly around women. Even if they are so stunning they normally take your breath away, your mind goes blank, and you run out of words.
You already have what it takes to seduce women. Like, if you never run out of words around your close friends or family, you should be able to talk to a hot girl without making a fool out of yourself. The reason you seem to be a different person in such situations is because you ARE – you are NOT being yourself! You act differently because you were socialized to sabotage yourself. The Manual teaches you how to unlock your true potential and to bring out the real you – not change you into someone you are not.
The method presented to get girls works on all women, no matter what language they speak, how young they are, or what type of relationship you might be looking for. It's universal because it's based on natural attraction, what all women are hardwired to respond to, and attraction is an emotion, not a decision.
You can use it to get a sexy girlfriend, one night stands or even long-term relationships. You can use it to find true love, a soul mate, or just casual sex without commitment. And one of its best benefits is that it will make women want to be with you and appreciate you. The girls you get will REMAIN attractive even after you have formed a sexual relationship with them, because they are so happy to be with you. While most other guys who do get (average) girls, often find themselves with an average female who becomes even less attractive over time as she stops taking care of herself completely.
All other dating books simply repeat conventional wisdom that doesn't work very well in reality, and even the best ones are about ACTING like an attractive man, not on how to BECOME one. But the problem is if you go around acting like someone besides yourself, even if you do start getting girls, it's not really YOU who are getting them. The Manual will show you how to get laid like a rock star, without being one, and without pretending to be one either.
You can learn to get ANY girl you want, the same way that all men who are naturally good with women have. The only difference is that you may learn it much FASTER, instead of wasting tons of time and money on fruitless dates or a new car/haircut/shirt that you BELIEVE will make you more attractive – but really doesn't.
You see; men LACK success with women because they either don't understand what women are attracted to, or because they THINK that they do know, but have the wrong ideas and hence waste a lot of time - sometimes their entire life - chasing things they don't need. You know you have to get this book if you believe women want men with money, cars, or anything else that is manmade, because that doesn't make any sense. If women really were attracted to something unnatural, how did men meet women before any of those things were invented?
The approach you'll learn in The Manual is very different from conventional dating and the advice you find in the mainstream media because it focuses on natural attraction – on what women REALLY want – not what they CLAIM they want or what males in general BELIEVE women want. It incorporate men’s and women’s socialization and explains phenomenas such as why men think women are attracted to things such as money (yet money is a man-made invention that has not even EXISTED very long) and why women “play hard to get” (a well-known phrase which amusingly reveals that women ARE easy but only pretend not to be).
This is why the beginning of the book addresses your basic beliefs and mindset, because if you learn to THINK correctly, you will automatically behave correctly around women. Even if they are so stunning they normally take your breath away, your mind goes blank, and you run out of words.
You already have what it takes to seduce women. Like, if you never run out of words around your close friends or family, you should be able to talk to a hot girl without making a fool out of yourself. The reason you seem to be a different person in such situations is because you ARE – you are NOT being yourself! You act differently because you were socialized to sabotage yourself. The Manual teaches you how to unlock your true potential and to bring out the real you – not change you into someone you are not.
The method presented to get girls works on all women, no matter what language they speak, how young they are, or what type of relationship you might be looking for. It's universal because it's based on natural attraction, what all women are hardwired to respond to, and attraction is an emotion, not a decision.
You can use it to get a sexy girlfriend, one night stands or even long-term relationships. You can use it to find true love, a soul mate, or just casual sex without commitment. And one of its best benefits is that it will make women want to be with you and appreciate you. The girls you get will REMAIN attractive even after you have formed a sexual relationship with them, because they are so happy to be with you. While most other guys who do get (average) girls, often find themselves with an average female who becomes even less attractive over time as she stops taking care of herself completely.
All other dating books simply repeat conventional wisdom that doesn't work very well in reality, and even the best ones are about ACTING like an attractive man, not on how to BECOME one. But the problem is if you go around acting like someone besides yourself, even if you do start getting girls, it's not really YOU who are getting them. The Manual will show you how to get laid like a rock star, without being one, and without pretending to be one either.
346 pages, Paperback
First published December 23, 2010
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 66 reviews
June 21, 2011
This book is awesome!
January 21, 2020
This book was my partner in many subway trips .. Absolutely fantastic materials.
Although it might seem just another pick up book out there it is actually a self help book for men who like to upgrade their life in dating and be a better partner through improving self.
It will open your eyes in areas you never thought the world can work this way.
_ What I liked:
- the eyes opening tips
- it teaches you how to be confident not just tell you to be confident like other books
- I promise this will change your life.
_ What I did not like:
- some exaggerations about how your look doesn't matter at all - it does I promise you, but it is the number one thing
- I was confused sometimes should I be an asshole or selfish to be correct according to this book; the key is to balance things, but absolutely put yourself first :)
one more thing;
If you are a woman - I wish you luck finding a man who read this before dating you!
Although it might seem just another pick up book out there it is actually a self help book for men who like to upgrade their life in dating and be a better partner through improving self.
It will open your eyes in areas you never thought the world can work this way.
_ What I liked:
- the eyes opening tips
- it teaches you how to be confident not just tell you to be confident like other books
- I promise this will change your life.
_ What I did not like:
- some exaggerations about how your look doesn't matter at all - it does I promise you, but it is the number one thing
- I was confused sometimes should I be an asshole or selfish to be correct according to this book; the key is to balance things, but absolutely put yourself first :)
one more thing;
If you are a woman - I wish you luck finding a man who read this before dating you!
October 21, 2016
--After reading a handful of books on eastern philosophy, such as Taoism and Zen, it occurred to me that the concept and paradigm of this book is not entirely unprecedented, as I initially thought. What the author has done is channeling those ideas into the way of seduction--
Not everyone will accord with the allegations of the first chapter, naturally. I recommended this read to one of my lady friends and she resented the author's point of view and stopped reading at 5%--this is the part which is debating over biological differences of males and females.
Finally, the approaching method is pretty sound and clear: the simple, direct, and sincere approach. With no excuses, plots, and scenarios, it would be the most natural and effective way to approach a woman, from a place of honesty. The number of rejections might rise with this mindset, but at the end of the day it is quite clear, "the ones who matter don't mind, and the ones who mind don't matter."
If my nephew walks up to me one day and asks me, "I want to meet women; where should I start?", I would spare myself the time talking about my own experience by urging him to read this book. It could probably be an apt 18th birthday gift.
This book starts by looking at men and women through a biological/philosophical perspective: how they are different, and how this disparity leads to different expectations. Subsequently, the topic leads to a major behavioral bias most people are afflicted by, the discrepancy between what we think we want and what we truly crave. In an article, The River FrontTimes tries to establish an argument against this book by alleging that different women want different things from men, conspicuously neglecting the fact that what women claim they want, which could be chocolates, servants, back-rubs, etc., could be wholly different from what they intrinsically desire.
Not everyone will accord with the allegations of the first chapter, naturally. I recommended this read to one of my lady friends and she resented the author's point of view and stopped reading at 5%--this is the part which is debating over biological differences of males and females.
In consequent chapters the author delves deeply into diminutive details on how to become confident, charming, and responsible on the route of becoming the man women lust. He does not overlook any details, reminding me of my own days when I started learning these subtleties the hard way; it was a real sense of nostalgia, even deja vu, reading about actual incidents that will happen along this path, and he provides a mindset that will change the readers' perspective eradicating abjection pursuing rejections.
Dealing with failure is the single most powerful shield in a human being's arsenal rendering them resilient to adversities. While two different books, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead also tries to cultivate this essential human characteristic by combating shame. Although their methods might seem different, the result is the same. A shameless individual who "has confidence in himself"/"looks at himself from a Worthiness standpoint"
Finally, the approaching method is pretty sound and clear: the simple, direct, and sincere approach. With no excuses, plots, and scenarios, it would be the most natural and effective way to approach a woman, from a place of honesty. The number of rejections might rise with this mindset, but at the end of the day it is quite clear, "the ones who matter don't mind, and the ones who mind don't matter."
December 3, 2019
Great advice that will no doubt work for some...
This book will teach you why a lot of men feel inadequate around beautiful women. The author's explanation makes a lot of sense, that it has to do with the way society has negatively influenced the way we think about the seduction process. The basic thesis is that confidence is what women are attracted to, and society encourages men to be confident until they have proved their worth.
Where this book won't help is with a practical way to improve and become more attractive, for those of us who have no confidence to begin with.
Having this knowledge will not help you meet more women; you will still feel the same crippling anxiety around beautiful women if this is a problem you currently have even if your beliefs have changed. The author does not provide practical stepping stones to get to the point where a direct and bold approach is even something that is even possible for you to do.
This book will teach you why a lot of men feel inadequate around beautiful women. The author's explanation makes a lot of sense, that it has to do with the way society has negatively influenced the way we think about the seduction process. The basic thesis is that confidence is what women are attracted to, and society encourages men to be confident until they have proved their worth.
Where this book won't help is with a practical way to improve and become more attractive, for those of us who have no confidence to begin with.
Having this knowledge will not help you meet more women; you will still feel the same crippling anxiety around beautiful women if this is a problem you currently have even if your beliefs have changed. The author does not provide practical stepping stones to get to the point where a direct and bold approach is even something that is even possible for you to do.
March 5, 2017
A poorly written and repetitious book. The book could have lost 25% of the text without losing the message.
The content is sound. Confidence and boldness win in most situations, including seduction. It highlights how men are socially conditioned to be repulsive to women; the reason for their poor dating success.
The book generally describes women as weak for 'eschewing responsibility'associated with dating. I found this off-putting.
The content is sound. Confidence and boldness win in most situations, including seduction. It highlights how men are socially conditioned to be repulsive to women; the reason for their poor dating success.
The book generally describes women as weak for 'eschewing responsibility'associated with dating. I found this off-putting.
August 17, 2016
No matter how much positive feedback I give this book, it'll never equal the value this book has had on my life so far. I want to thank the author, W. Anton first for not being a product of socialization, it is because of people like him who make this world a better place. Not the people who follow rules of socialization. With that being said this book is only for the people who are willing to break there ties with the majority of the world who have been conditioned by socialization and there dumb rules..
Now about the book itself,
I loved the book, it doesn't sugar coat.. The author is not the typical cheesy pickup artist were use to, He's a realist. He tells us from the start that in order to be more successful with women you have to elmintate the old/ socialized way of thinking, and adapt the "natural" way.
And he breaks it's all down on how to do it from the start to finish.
Since reading the book my success with women shot thru the clouds. And I'm not talking about just with any women. I'm talking about the most attractive women out there !! Since reading this book I only approach the most beautiful, and attractive ladies. And guess what, I have sex with them as well. And doesn't take weeks or months. Try a Few days or even same day as the first date. This book delivers the answers your looking for! I'm extremely impressed. I wasn't the worst with ladies but I wasn't the best either and I wanted to be the best I could possibly be. (That's why I purchased)
But not just the best with with average girls but the best with ONLY really really hot ones, Now ! I don't waste a sec of my life dealing with Average, basic, or unattractive females.
Since completing this book. I have/had sex with the type of women that you see in the mall , and look around everyone is looking at and is talking to each other about because she's drop dead gorgeous and her figure is astonishing..
Those type of women use to be hard to approach, I'll admit it, and even when I did approach my success rate with them wasn't as high as it is now!
After reading how to approach those type of women and adapting the behavior/ characteristics needed, any other way besides how the author suggests feels foreign and unnatural..
I could never go back to approaching women no other way than besides how I approach now after reading this book..
And not just approaching but my whole thinking process with dealing with highley attractive women has changed and envolved..
This book changes your thinking, So that you are able to achieve great success with those type of ladies that you dream about. Take my word guys and invest into something that will have a great return.
I've had great sucess and still haven't even mastered it. I can't imagine my sucess rate once I've reached my full potential !!
Now about the book itself,
I loved the book, it doesn't sugar coat.. The author is not the typical cheesy pickup artist were use to, He's a realist. He tells us from the start that in order to be more successful with women you have to elmintate the old/ socialized way of thinking, and adapt the "natural" way.
And he breaks it's all down on how to do it from the start to finish.
Since reading the book my success with women shot thru the clouds. And I'm not talking about just with any women. I'm talking about the most attractive women out there !! Since reading this book I only approach the most beautiful, and attractive ladies. And guess what, I have sex with them as well. And doesn't take weeks or months. Try a Few days or even same day as the first date. This book delivers the answers your looking for! I'm extremely impressed. I wasn't the worst with ladies but I wasn't the best either and I wanted to be the best I could possibly be. (That's why I purchased)
But not just the best with with average girls but the best with ONLY really really hot ones, Now ! I don't waste a sec of my life dealing with Average, basic, or unattractive females.
Since completing this book. I have/had sex with the type of women that you see in the mall , and look around everyone is looking at and is talking to each other about because she's drop dead gorgeous and her figure is astonishing..
Those type of women use to be hard to approach, I'll admit it, and even when I did approach my success rate with them wasn't as high as it is now!
After reading how to approach those type of women and adapting the behavior/ characteristics needed, any other way besides how the author suggests feels foreign and unnatural..
I could never go back to approaching women no other way than besides how I approach now after reading this book..
And not just approaching but my whole thinking process with dealing with highley attractive women has changed and envolved..
This book changes your thinking, So that you are able to achieve great success with those type of ladies that you dream about. Take my word guys and invest into something that will have a great return.
I've had great sucess and still haven't even mastered it. I can't imagine my sucess rate once I've reached my full potential !!
July 7, 2017
This book covers every aspect of being good with women, on a general level. It is rather unfortunate that the masses of males stuck in socialized and standardized beliefs only really need to read this book to completely overturn everything they thought was possible with getting attractive women - yet they do not care to do so because they will rationalize their old paradigms. It is hard to face cognitive dissonance and grow in spite of it. What lies on the other side of complacency and the fear of the unknown is a remarkable world open only to those that do not limit their belief systems. Dissolve your ego and pick up the book.
January 15, 2018
this stuff workes and i hate it. i know some people with a selfish attitude towards women, yet somehow this are the people these women love.
like a friend of mine would get angry and yell at his girls for simply not taking his call first time it rings, yet this chick and every other chick would send nudies to him. i don't get it, i really don't.
i think av been brainwashed by Oprah and the likes.
like a friend of mine would get angry and yell at his girls for simply not taking his call first time it rings, yet this chick and every other chick would send nudies to him. i don't get it, i really don't.
i think av been brainwashed by Oprah and the likes.
January 3, 2013
Insightful, couldn't put it down. Great read for anyone looking to meet women.
January 2, 2017
It’s one of those subjects that you don’t really talk about. Indeed, the friend who gave me this book actually sealed it up in an envelope stating ‘open when alone’ just in case I got embarrassed. But once you’ve read this guide, you realise that there’s no hidden secrets and the techniques used now haven’t differed from the methods back then. Anton’s guide simply points out the obvious. There’s no diagrams, no cheesy pick-up lines and few step-by-step instructions (imagine if you had to take the book with you and consult it regularly). Instead, he looks at the history of men and women and how their relationships have begun to change over time, while examining attitudes and stereotypes of the dating game. Of course, the key to any of this is confidence and not to waste any opportunity; all the while by holding your head up shamelessly and not being afraid to try.
January 9, 2014
The book can come off rather harsh, towards both men and women, but Anton is just being quite frank/blunt. The book itself it quite easy and very quick to read through; one maybe two days at the most to read it.
The section on men rejecting themselves was particularly hard hitting for me, but a necessary step to waking up and realizing one of the things you've been doing wrong for so long.
The section on men rejecting themselves was particularly hard hitting for me, but a necessary step to waking up and realizing one of the things you've been doing wrong for so long.
February 21, 2020
A lot of useful information for idiots like me!
May 17, 2020
I liked the hot girl on the cover and wanted to read something to get me thinking about dating again, so decided to give this book a try. The book isn't particularly well-written, and a lot of the things the author says are logically fallacious if not plain odd. As I've written on other places on the internet, I would recommend Mate: How to Become the Man Women Want by Tucker Max and Geoffrey Miller instead as a book in the dating and self-help genres. Max is a socially normal guy, while Miller is a PhD in evolutionary psychology, so the advice in the book is qualified by actual evidence, rather than simply being the musings of some random jackass who may or may not even be successful with women.
May 5, 2015
W.Anton does an amazing job with this book! He hits the nail right on the head and is straight to the point. My confidence skyrocketed while reading this book, it felt even better to be a man and my perception of the relationship between men and women was seen in a new a more positive light.
One of the best books I have ever read!
One of the best books I have ever read!
February 27, 2019
Essentially, this book boils down to; value yourself, break free from social conditioning and what others think, be honest about what you want, work towards it and stop making excuses.
While the title, and the language, and the examples and of course the cover of this book is clearly all about seducing women. The ideas of this book can be applied to every area of life and business.
While the title, and the language, and the examples and of course the cover of this book is clearly all about seducing women. The ideas of this book can be applied to every area of life and business.
February 7, 2017
I read this as my first seduction book, and it has opened my eyes greatly to what women want and how to give it to them. The lessons I've learned in this book will help me be more confident with women and in my life overall. While some may be turned away by the direct language, it'll mostly be from unconfident males who are too scared to accept the reality. Great book, cannot recommend enough!
February 27, 2017
This is an awesome book. It cuts all the bullshit and nonsense that society has been feeding men since they were born.
The principles are as simple as they can get and they are all explained based on hardwired attraction chemistry going in the female and men's brains.
The principles are as simple as they can get and they are all explained based on hardwired attraction chemistry going in the female and men's brains.
December 2, 2017
The best book I read about seduction so far, I read hundreds of books in my life time, but this book is totally above the rest in term of dealing with relationship. I have to thank W. Anton, now I am having trouble with having too many girls around me. Good luck to your own journey
January 10, 2020
The best book about how to deal with woman
I read this book and understood my failures. So now I'm able not to repeat them. It's full of practical pieces of advice on how to become the man, even though society might stop us from that in the interest of society.
I read this book and understood my failures. So now I'm able not to repeat them. It's full of practical pieces of advice on how to become the man, even though society might stop us from that in the interest of society.
September 16, 2011
You can only sell shit from a shovel, if the shit wants to be sold from the shovel, or the shovel has no choice...
Want to read
November 13, 2022you can learn why you are wrong these days some very usefull insights on understanding women
December 10, 2016
One of the best books I have ever read.Opened my eyes.
September 13, 2016
Fantastic.
My best read this year.
My best read this year.
June 11, 2016
Great
The book is great. The philosophy taught is very understandable and easy applicable to your daily life. Highly recommended .
The book is great. The philosophy taught is very understandable and easy applicable to your daily life. Highly recommended .
July 17, 2017
Solid book teaching how men can be more masculine and how they should behave with women, so they can attract and seduce the type of girl they want.
October 25, 2019
This book is what was needed. A must read for all men, of all ages.
November 9, 2019
As the product of a single mother with no male role models in sight to teach a boy what it is to be a man, this book is an absolute god send!
Thank you W. Anton!
Thank you W. Anton!
April 9, 2022
- Women are attracted to mature men. Maturity has a lot more to do with mental maturity in male than physical: women likes inside of the men more than men like the inside of the woman
- Show vulnerability: the author argues that women want to see men express vulnerability and feelings, but not be vulnerable. Being vulnerable (afraid of heavy lifting, avoid risk-taking, extremely agreeable, exaggerate things) is a female trait and would make such men rather feminine hence undesirable
- Women get aroused very different than how men get aroused. Pronogrpahy works for men because men are visual animals; where's romantic novels works for female because female get aroused with words, gestures and actions
- About seducing men: men are foolish animals who can be lured if you constantly give them bait (but don't necessarily need to give it to them): as long as you give them constant challenges and a blurry path to the finishing line, they will blindly follow (author uses suicide bombers' dream of having virgins in heaven as an example)
- Women tend want to have fantasy of being controlled in bed and often don't have wish granted. However, it's a social taboo for women to mention this in public (Fifty Shades of Grey?)
- Women are attracted to confident men. While not every single confident men is successful in the society, but successful men are far more likely to be confident than unsuccessful men
- For men, be direct is attractive, and indirect is feminine (if you want to compliment a girl for her look, you should - do what the French do)
- Women wants three things from male: confidence, charm and responsibility
- Don't believe what they say, believe what they do: just like male can't fully explain their behaviors, believing in what women say is rather flawed too: our brain simply can't fully fathom our body (one example being, a guy/girl could fall for people they never "thought" they would fall into. The body judges, the brain simply adapts)
- Internal confidence has very little do with external: we all judge book by its cover. A woman can look fertile with makeups, hence attractive, even if she is not fertile
- Dominant doesn't only mean assertive, it also mean selfish, arrogance (to a degree) and be a leader and let your subordinates follow
- People rely on society's standard to bring one's esteem. However, such thing rarely works. Self esteem is about being confident inside, rather than wishing the society will grant that to one (plus, mathematically such successful men are in the rare minority to begin with)
- To ignore society's standard in itself is rather attractive: that's why artists behaving in anti-social norm are so attractive, male or female: YOU need to love yourself unconditionally (this applies to both genders)
- Being unapologetically oneself is a dominant male trait, if once male changes because of it, then it becomes a female trait (Agreeable), and thus of
- On being worried about what other people think of you: they don't. They are far too consumed about taking care of themselves and thinking about how other think of them. Being too socially conscious is a loser's game, since people naturally follow others who are more opportunistic (however foolish - consider the Tulip bubble, dot com bubble, housing bubble, bitcoin bubble etc etc)
- When disagreement arises, the male should not explain himself hoping to seek the female's approval: by doing so, the male is akin to treating the partner like his mother. It's a feminine trait to be agreeable and to follow the masculine partner
- Many of the actions - don't apologize, don't pamper - are actually a sign of confidence. It doesn't mean not taking responsibility or trigger women intentionally. Rather, it means when it comes down to issue of preference that has no inherently right or wrong value, men should be comfortable with who he truly is (and he needs to know who he is to begin with), and never alter for anyone else (and he would never be able to to begin with, if he knows himself well)
- Intentionally brag about things (cars, jobs, money etc) for female's attention is a boy's thing (if attracting young girls is what the boy is aiming for). Men would not ever do such thing, other than "unintentionally" reveal such things. This in itself is a sign of maturity
- Selfish in itself is extremely attractive and it's absolutely not a negative trait: only selfish women treat themselves well internally and externally, thus resulting attractive apprance. Same applies to men. Seemingly "selfless" men, in author's eye are only low worth men who have nothing of value to lose, thus would chose to be selfless
- Women who insist on having men pay for things are automatically low value women: author argues that such women have price tag on their time - in itself is no different than being a prostitute
- Avoid using money as means to establish relationships (unless it's recepriocal) - this way you know you've attracted the right women who want you for who you are, not the monetary or other values attached to you (and vice versa, you should find women who you like for who she is, not solely because of her appearance which would fade with time)
- When one ties one's entire identity to one thing (whether it's beauty for women, or money and fame for men), the act of losing it will inevitably destroy one. Rather, ones identity should be based on who one truly is. Only this way, your partner would not let you go regardless
- Charm is not being funny (in fact, being overly funny would actually diminish your chance). Rather, charm is making the women feel attractive about herself. It's about a popular man giving only one compliment to one woman despite there are other women around. And genuine compliment is essential for this to work (however, the woman must find you attractive enough, otherwise you'll just look like a creep. Use your eye contact to sniff out if she is interested or not to begin with)
- Be direct: being indirect is a feminine characteristic and hated by female. Even if you are ashamed of your answer (unemployed, homeless etc), answering directly without lying shows confidence (plus, you wouldn't need to
- Women wants men to lead, however she would hint her wanting indirectly (it's cold here, my feet hurt): understand what she really is saying, take the lead and fulfill what she wants
- Don't be afraid of conformation as a man: man should have his own opinion, however against the social norm it is (hence the impression that women love bad boys - they love boys - or men - who are assertive, can lead, isn't afraid of challenges. The modern day artic explorer)
- Filtration is about making the woman feel good about herself - and give her reason to. She wants to know that she is different than other women and you are selective towards her (and it should be that way to begin with. You're just speaking your mind directly, unafraid of societal judgements)
- Complement should be given lavishly - everyone loves a compliment, however it should always be sincere, genuine compliment
- Treat all others like how you'd be treated: "nice guy" do not do so: they're overwhelmingly nice to people they're attractive to, ignore people who they don't like as much
- On eye contact: do not be ashamed to check a woman out. However, it's important to keep eye contact, smile, and be bold about what you did unapologetically (very different than staring, which could easily be a form of sexual harassment)
- On protection: men should make women feel protected but in a wise way, not foolish way that such men sacrificed himself (women actually doesn't want to see that): make sure she gets home safe, divert situation where she feels threatened, flirted by people she doesn't want to be fileted with
- The best place to meet women is anywhere, the best time to meet women is anytime: don't limit yourself to social construct of specific places and time - in fact, the less competition the better
- Be absolutely direct: you have no need to win over her friends or families. You don't need a wingman, you should go alone. That in itself is attractive enough
- Do not think you need to follow any societal rules: call her whenever you wish, don't need to set number of days or hours of delay
- Show vulnerability: the author argues that women want to see men express vulnerability and feelings, but not be vulnerable. Being vulnerable (afraid of heavy lifting, avoid risk-taking, extremely agreeable, exaggerate things) is a female trait and would make such men rather feminine hence undesirable
- Women get aroused very different than how men get aroused. Pronogrpahy works for men because men are visual animals; where's romantic novels works for female because female get aroused with words, gestures and actions
- About seducing men: men are foolish animals who can be lured if you constantly give them bait (but don't necessarily need to give it to them): as long as you give them constant challenges and a blurry path to the finishing line, they will blindly follow (author uses suicide bombers' dream of having virgins in heaven as an example)
- Women tend want to have fantasy of being controlled in bed and often don't have wish granted. However, it's a social taboo for women to mention this in public (Fifty Shades of Grey?)
- Women are attracted to confident men. While not every single confident men is successful in the society, but successful men are far more likely to be confident than unsuccessful men
- For men, be direct is attractive, and indirect is feminine (if you want to compliment a girl for her look, you should - do what the French do)
- Women wants three things from male: confidence, charm and responsibility
- Don't believe what they say, believe what they do: just like male can't fully explain their behaviors, believing in what women say is rather flawed too: our brain simply can't fully fathom our body (one example being, a guy/girl could fall for people they never "thought" they would fall into. The body judges, the brain simply adapts)
- Internal confidence has very little do with external: we all judge book by its cover. A woman can look fertile with makeups, hence attractive, even if she is not fertile
- Dominant doesn't only mean assertive, it also mean selfish, arrogance (to a degree) and be a leader and let your subordinates follow
- People rely on society's standard to bring one's esteem. However, such thing rarely works. Self esteem is about being confident inside, rather than wishing the society will grant that to one (plus, mathematically such successful men are in the rare minority to begin with)
- To ignore society's standard in itself is rather attractive: that's why artists behaving in anti-social norm are so attractive, male or female: YOU need to love yourself unconditionally (this applies to both genders)
- Being unapologetically oneself is a dominant male trait, if once male changes because of it, then it becomes a female trait (Agreeable), and thus of
- On being worried about what other people think of you: they don't. They are far too consumed about taking care of themselves and thinking about how other think of them. Being too socially conscious is a loser's game, since people naturally follow others who are more opportunistic (however foolish - consider the Tulip bubble, dot com bubble, housing bubble, bitcoin bubble etc etc)
- When disagreement arises, the male should not explain himself hoping to seek the female's approval: by doing so, the male is akin to treating the partner like his mother. It's a feminine trait to be agreeable and to follow the masculine partner
- Many of the actions - don't apologize, don't pamper - are actually a sign of confidence. It doesn't mean not taking responsibility or trigger women intentionally. Rather, it means when it comes down to issue of preference that has no inherently right or wrong value, men should be comfortable with who he truly is (and he needs to know who he is to begin with), and never alter for anyone else (and he would never be able to to begin with, if he knows himself well)
- Intentionally brag about things (cars, jobs, money etc) for female's attention is a boy's thing (if attracting young girls is what the boy is aiming for). Men would not ever do such thing, other than "unintentionally" reveal such things. This in itself is a sign of maturity
- Selfish in itself is extremely attractive and it's absolutely not a negative trait: only selfish women treat themselves well internally and externally, thus resulting attractive apprance. Same applies to men. Seemingly "selfless" men, in author's eye are only low worth men who have nothing of value to lose, thus would chose to be selfless
- Women who insist on having men pay for things are automatically low value women: author argues that such women have price tag on their time - in itself is no different than being a prostitute
- Avoid using money as means to establish relationships (unless it's recepriocal) - this way you know you've attracted the right women who want you for who you are, not the monetary or other values attached to you (and vice versa, you should find women who you like for who she is, not solely because of her appearance which would fade with time)
- When one ties one's entire identity to one thing (whether it's beauty for women, or money and fame for men), the act of losing it will inevitably destroy one. Rather, ones identity should be based on who one truly is. Only this way, your partner would not let you go regardless
- Charm is not being funny (in fact, being overly funny would actually diminish your chance). Rather, charm is making the women feel attractive about herself. It's about a popular man giving only one compliment to one woman despite there are other women around. And genuine compliment is essential for this to work (however, the woman must find you attractive enough, otherwise you'll just look like a creep. Use your eye contact to sniff out if she is interested or not to begin with)
- Be direct: being indirect is a feminine characteristic and hated by female. Even if you are ashamed of your answer (unemployed, homeless etc), answering directly without lying shows confidence (plus, you wouldn't need to
- Women wants men to lead, however she would hint her wanting indirectly (it's cold here, my feet hurt): understand what she really is saying, take the lead and fulfill what she wants
- Don't be afraid of conformation as a man: man should have his own opinion, however against the social norm it is (hence the impression that women love bad boys - they love boys - or men - who are assertive, can lead, isn't afraid of challenges. The modern day artic explorer)
- Filtration is about making the woman feel good about herself - and give her reason to. She wants to know that she is different than other women and you are selective towards her (and it should be that way to begin with. You're just speaking your mind directly, unafraid of societal judgements)
- Complement should be given lavishly - everyone loves a compliment, however it should always be sincere, genuine compliment
- Treat all others like how you'd be treated: "nice guy" do not do so: they're overwhelmingly nice to people they're attractive to, ignore people who they don't like as much
- On eye contact: do not be ashamed to check a woman out. However, it's important to keep eye contact, smile, and be bold about what you did unapologetically (very different than staring, which could easily be a form of sexual harassment)
- On protection: men should make women feel protected but in a wise way, not foolish way that such men sacrificed himself (women actually doesn't want to see that): make sure she gets home safe, divert situation where she feels threatened, flirted by people she doesn't want to be fileted with
- The best place to meet women is anywhere, the best time to meet women is anytime: don't limit yourself to social construct of specific places and time - in fact, the less competition the better
- Be absolutely direct: you have no need to win over her friends or families. You don't need a wingman, you should go alone. That in itself is attractive enough
- Do not think you need to follow any societal rules: call her whenever you wish, don't need to set number of days or hours of delay
August 20, 2015
Even if this book is written for men, women will learn a lot from it too.
The title is on point though it actually focuses on the second part of the book. I liked the author's approach where he explains in the first place what attraction is, how males and females think and behave differently, and have almost opposite world views, and how this difference is rooted in our biological bodies.
The body of a female is physically more vulnerable than a male's body and this is why females with smooth skin and curved lines are more attractive (they appear more vulnerable), while for a man if he has a relaxed voice and a straight back he seems more attractive as that is a clue for his confidence and experience.
Why looks matter for woman and why behavior matters for a man? Because our bodies have different objectives. Men have are built for gathering resources and dealing with uncertainty while women are built for maintaining harmony and good emotions while taking care of the children for a long period of time. The author answers how femininity makes a female attractive and masculinity makes a male attractive.
The author illustrates how society's beliefs on attraction imposed on individuals are good for the society as a whole but not necessarily for individuals. Men are enforced to believe they have to "earn" women, as they are conditioned to feel confident only after they achieved something, be it financial freedom, better clothes or status and think women are a prize.
The surprise I found in reading this is how the author explained feminism and sexism and argued that attractive males and females don't even bother with this as they have much more important things to do.
The second part is a more detailed approach in how men can increase their attractiveness and become abundant with women. The key here is all the behavior and skills can be categorized in a balance of confidence, responsibility and charm. All three are broken down in detail. You will learn to let go off excuses, become responsible and realize you can approach women anywhere anytime and have fun doing it.
Although sometimes he shoots himself in the foot by overemphasizing surface level actions like calling instead of texting over deep level principles like acting through your own intentions, he does a very good job explaining the mindsets that govern attractive behavior. For example, you don't need to focus on "what" to say, as long as you are confident that whatever you say is valuable purely because it comes from you. Usually males (not men) focus on "what to say". (hint: men are attractive males, women are attractive females).
I had a lot of fun reading this book and I encourage other people to read it too.
The title is on point though it actually focuses on the second part of the book. I liked the author's approach where he explains in the first place what attraction is, how males and females think and behave differently, and have almost opposite world views, and how this difference is rooted in our biological bodies.
The body of a female is physically more vulnerable than a male's body and this is why females with smooth skin and curved lines are more attractive (they appear more vulnerable), while for a man if he has a relaxed voice and a straight back he seems more attractive as that is a clue for his confidence and experience.
Why looks matter for woman and why behavior matters for a man? Because our bodies have different objectives. Men have are built for gathering resources and dealing with uncertainty while women are built for maintaining harmony and good emotions while taking care of the children for a long period of time. The author answers how femininity makes a female attractive and masculinity makes a male attractive.
The author illustrates how society's beliefs on attraction imposed on individuals are good for the society as a whole but not necessarily for individuals. Men are enforced to believe they have to "earn" women, as they are conditioned to feel confident only after they achieved something, be it financial freedom, better clothes or status and think women are a prize.
The surprise I found in reading this is how the author explained feminism and sexism and argued that attractive males and females don't even bother with this as they have much more important things to do.
The second part is a more detailed approach in how men can increase their attractiveness and become abundant with women. The key here is all the behavior and skills can be categorized in a balance of confidence, responsibility and charm. All three are broken down in detail. You will learn to let go off excuses, become responsible and realize you can approach women anywhere anytime and have fun doing it.
Although sometimes he shoots himself in the foot by overemphasizing surface level actions like calling instead of texting over deep level principles like acting through your own intentions, he does a very good job explaining the mindsets that govern attractive behavior. For example, you don't need to focus on "what" to say, as long as you are confident that whatever you say is valuable purely because it comes from you. Usually males (not men) focus on "what to say". (hint: men are attractive males, women are attractive females).
I had a lot of fun reading this book and I encourage other people to read it too.
November 16, 2020
It gives a very useful view on default patterns that help us understand ourselves
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