C: Because Cowards Get Cancer Too

by John Diamond

Shortly before his 44th birthday, John Diamond received a call from the doctor who had removed a lump from his neck. Having been assured for the previous 2 years that this was a benign cyst, Diamond was told that it was, in fact, cancerous. Suddenly, this man who'd until this point been one of the world's greatest hypochondriacs, was genuinely faced with mortality. And what he saw scared the wits out of him. Out of necessity, he wrote about his feelings in his TIMES column and the response was staggering. Mailbag followed Diamond's story of life with, and without, a lump - the humiliations, the ridiculous bits, the funny bits, the tearful bits. It's compelling, profound, witty, in the mould of THE DIVING BELL & THE BUTTERFLY.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Autobiography, Memoir, Health, Medicine, Medical

256 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1998

About the author

John Diamond was an English journalist and broadcaster.

Reviews

[Richard Alex Jenkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thoroughly recommended.

John Diamond tells it straight and honest with zero self-pity about his gradual demise while his body falls apart due to cancer.

Anyone else would give up at this point and tell the world to swivel on itself, but courageous John just gets on with it and even makes light of his plight with witty commentary and humour.

An incredible human being with an intrinsic desire to, not just survive, but live.

I've marked this as disturbing because he goes through hell, while also uplifting as it emphasizes anything is possible even in the worst possible situation.

[brook · Rating 4 out of 5]

i didn't even have time to move this from my "to-read" shelf to the "currently-reading" shelf. i got this book for christmas - i tried to avoid reading it during the holidays because i knew it would depress me. one night i couldn't resist any longer and i read it in 2 hours. i should probably preface this by saying that i harbor a strange fascination with the story of nigella lawson/john diamond. i've loved nigella and her shows for years, and recently learned about the death of her mother, sister, and husband; all to cancer. i read many of john's columns online and decided i had to have this book, even though all i could find were used copies.

the title says it all - he's no hero. he's doesn't want to be called brave. he did what he had to do in the face of some fucking awful things that happened. especially heart-breaking is his recount of trying to find the primary location of the cancer and just barely missing it, possibly costing him precious time. also, watching his predicted odds of survival slowly dwindle make you question your faith in medicine, and even your faith in your own body (is it just a ticking time bomb?).

think your life sucks? read this book. think of having a 3 year old and 10 month old and knowing that you will not see them grow up. think of losing your tongue to cancer when your life is all about expressing your thoughts and opinions.

but don't think this book is all about wallowing. to the contrary, it is filled with humor and surprises and left me amazed; not just saddened (john died in 2002). this book is unlike any other that i've read, and i feel like a better person for having read it. what more could you possibly want from some bound pages of paper?

[Gretchen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve read several memoirs of cancer survivors, and several more advice-type books about how to deal with cancer, and (as a fellow cancer survivor) this is the one I’d recommend. I read Lance Armstrong’s book, and I loved it, but I'd recommend this first. He captures so eloquently what it means to be uncertain about how long you’re going to live and how it feels to deal with people who just don’t know what to do with you, and he’s such a beautiful and funny writer about everything that happens that I just don’t know how to describe him. That he did not survive his cancer (he would have hated for it to be called a battle) makes me so sad, because I can only imagine how much insightful writing he had left to give us.

[Ericthehamster]

"This is a funny and moving account of a man's fight with cancer (which he subsequently lost). John Diamond was a (London) Times journalist who wrote weekly columns covering his battle. I found the book sad but uplifting (as a lot of these books do, they end up portraying endurance and - despite the title - courage, in a way which manages to avoid mawkishness)."

[Gwen · Rating 5 out of 5]

John Diamond tells us in no uncertain times what it is like to live with, and to be dying from cancer. It is a horrible irony that someone so articulate should be struck with cancer of the tongue therefore leaving writing as his primary outlet. The disease does not dampen his dry wit so prepare to be entertained as well as educated about the 'C' word.

[Joy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first read this book in 1998, when it was published. Rereading it now, particularly with the knowledge that John Diamond died in 2001, I found it - again - an extraordinarily moving account of the author's experience of cancer.

[Alison · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting, well-written and frightening. Stirred up my emotions knowing the author died but he writes with humour dealing with a difficult subject.

[Alan · Rating 4 out of 5]

from my 2002 notebook: both funny and terrifying about the humiliation and exposure that his terminal cancer causes.

[Mary Karpel-Jergic · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is difficult to like this book but that doesn't stop it from being a brilliant book. This is a harrowing tale of one man's experience of cancer which became, in a relatively short period of time, terminal. The treatment is horrific, but there are no other choices: he does articulate what he thinks about alternative therapies and comes to the conclusion that they are not worth trying. Faced with no other options and a self-defined coward, John Diamond's story is testimony to the will to live.

This book is very good at presenting the honest, but often unpalatable to some, views of someone experiencing all the effects of cancer. What cancer is and its destructive pathway through our bodies, the frightening and seemingly barbaric treatments, and the carnage created for all the loved ones. This decries the Pollyanna approach of positive thinking and all the military vocabulary that people use to describe the required response. Instead, this is heartbreak hotel. Pain, suffering and loss.

Cancer will soon affect one in every two people. This means that this type of story is going to be a story experienced by many of us. John Diamond's narrative provides a great insight into the personal destruction of this terrible disease.

[Bob · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very tough read.

[Jeanette · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book will stay with me forever

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

A poignant and brilliantly written book. Of course, we knew how it was going to end, yet there were parts of the book that were uplifting. Diamond describes the horrific effects of his cancer, but perhaps more graphic is how the treatment impacted his speech, taste, weight, work- every aspect of his life. This book will stay with me for a long time.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Shortly before his 44th birthday, John Diamond received a call from the doctor who had removed a lump from his neck. Having been assured for the previous 2 years that this was a benign cyst, Diamond was told that it was, in fact, cancerous. Suddenly, this man who'd until this point been one of the world's greatest hypochondriacs, was genuinely faced with mortality. And what he saw scared the wits out of him. Out of necessity, he wrote about his feelings in his TIMES column and the response was staggering. Mailbag followed Diamond's story of life with, and without, a lump - the humiliations, the ridiculous bits, the funny bits, the tearful bits. It's compelling, profound, witty, in the mould of THE DIVING BELL & THE BUTTERFLY.

A bit strange really to critique a book written so honestly by a man who has since died. I hate to say that I enjoyed it because how can you enjoy a book about someone dying from cancer? However, having said that, I did enjoy the book at the beginning but about two-thirds of the way through I started skimming the pages. Obviously the tone of the book became darker as his health deteriorated but it was an honest book and his desperation to live was painful to read.

[BookAmbler · Rating 3 out of 5]

I took full advantage of a train trip to Bedford, and then a very hot evening, to read this excellent book in a day. But despite that, I can’t give it more stars because a couple of years ago I read an even better one! I found "The Luxury of Time" by Jane and Mike Tomlinson to be a far more emotive and rollercoaster read.

The comparison, for me, is; male, self-confessed hypochondriac and largely self-centred versus female, incredibly unselfish, incredibly determined (and hence very motivating). That’s not a criticism of Diamond – I’d be the same as him - but it shows how each person’s cancer ‘journey’ is an individual path.

I’ve got the ‘sequel’ to the Tomlinson book, "You Can’t Take it With You", which I’m now very keen to get on and read!

[Joanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This memoir is extremely well written; funny, but not in a way that made me laugh out loud. Diamond's humor is dry, black stuff since it covers his brush with one cancer treatment after the next, each one leaving him less intact. As a columnist and journalist, Diamond does a great job of documenting his experience, taking a step back from the panic of what he is going through to convey what cancer is like with both humanity and a morbid curiosity. This book gave me even more sympathy and insight into what it is like for those suffering with the disease, and for their families.

[Denise · Rating 4 out of 5]

A brutally honest account of the author's battle with throat cancer. He doesn't look for sympathy, but details his feelings as he struggles with the medical profession to get on top of the disease. Educational, funny, reflective, this is not what I would call an enjoyable book (especially when you know the outcome, although he was still alive when I read it) but one that I would recommend for an upfront story about the big C.

[Jill · Rating 3 out of 5]

Much of what is written in the cancer memoir genre is all about how having hope will save your life. Diamond does not believe this, and tells it how it is. Writing this ten years after reading, I don't remember details about the book, but I do remember it changed everything that I thought I knew about the cancer experience, and made me that much more compassionate for those who do not "Pollyanna" their way through cancer.

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

How does someone write such a funny book about dying of cancer? But John does. He really attacks the concept of "bravely fighting" the disease - the concept of a hypochondriac's worst fears coming true - and his desire to moan, complain and give in. Excellent book. Also amusing the competition he feels between himself and Ruth Picardie (who's book I have also read and reviewed)

[Alison]

wonderful writing, witty and truthful. Times journalist writes about progress of his throat cancer for the year 1998. it killed him.in Feb 01 and he continued with more unputdownable columns and other writing. the cancer brought out some extraordinary and wonderful writing.

[Ian Fiddes · Rating 4 out of 5]

8/10. Despite the awful subject matter this is an easy read and very funny in places (yes, really!).

[Louise Holman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Even though you know the ending this book still manages to offer hope. Much missed author.

[Alison Horton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read it all in one go-harrowing!

[Deena Simmons · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed it.

[Ginni Brinkley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unputdownable.

[Deity World · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rip John Diamond gone from us too soon. Such a sad read, very emotional.

[Abi Wallace · Rating 5 out of 5]

crying so much everyone needs to read this. thanks for my ent supervisor for his rec. a) cancer is a bitch, b) life is disgustingly precious and c) respect for nigella lawson has risen significantly

[Nat De-Freitas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heartbreaking, honest, sensitive - a great book by a great writer. He is sorely missed.

[Sue Fray · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny, heartbreaking,un-put-downable and so re-readable.

[Dennis Littrell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny, fascinating and very sad

I was deeply touched by this book. Having watched my mother and my wife die of cancer, and knowing that I too will likely go by the same route, the subject is part of me. And being a writer who always longed to write his masterpiece, I feel such an identification with John Diamond who here does indeed write his masterpiece, an unlikely tale from the heart, mind and soul without a trance of cant or any phoniness. I hope he knows how good this book is. It is–believe it or not–a comedic master work, the funniest book I have read in quite a while. He uses humor tempered with rationalism instead of pathos to confront the horror of being torn apart by cancer (and its treatment). I can see Shakespeare reading this and sitting up straight with the realization that not only can this man make those words dance, he can engage our heart.

John Diamond is a print and broadcast journalist, a well-known Londoner whom I had never heard of before I picked up this book. Obviously he is a very funny and keenly insightful man who sees things that others miss, a magical wordsmith who did his best work when others might rightly have restricted themselves to wallowing in self pity. He contracts cancer of the tongue and throat at probably the most joyous time in his life with a successful career in full swing and a brilliant second marriage not ten years old. He has two little children under four years of age and he himself is still in his early forties. And then he learns that he has cancer. Within a few months time he loses his ability to eat and to speak and to even breathe properly.

One of the terrible ironies of this book is the fact that Diamond wrote newspaper columns on the fraudulence of the alternative medicine industry, and put his faith entirely in the hands of the medical establishment. There is something of the spirit of English rationalism and the belief in science that allowed him nonetheless to see his treatment as something positive. Because he was relatively young and had a keen desire to stay alive he was motivated to take the treatment. As he says, he really had no choice. He had a responsibility to his wife and his children and his parents to do whatever was necessary to stay alive. And so he went under the surgeon's knife, he subjected himself to radiation and eventually to chemotherapy, all the while getting worse and worse. As he himself writes on page 91: "No wonder the alternative quacks get away with their fairy dust treatments: you die just as quickly as with the real thing but you feel better about it." He had "the real thing."

Nonetheless he can laugh and make us laugh with him. The scene where he tears out the tubes and IVs sticking in him in an attempt to escape the hospital is hilarious. On page 122 he's describing all the gadgets and tubes, etc. he's hooked up to: "There was also a tube connected to a catheter shoved up my urethra and carrying away my urine. (Here's a tip for the gents in the audience. If anyone ever asks if he can poke a catheter up your urethra and leave it there for a few days, tell him no. They will say it doesn't hurt and express surprise when, on pulling it out a few days later, they have to scrape you off the ceiling. Avoid.)"

Any man that can see the humor in such horrific circumstances, is a man worth listening to, and a man we can respect and admire. John Diamond is such a man and this is a beautiful book.

--Dennis Littrell, author of the mystery novel, “Teddy and Teri”

[Analia · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found it so boring, I couldn't connect with Diamond at all, he was obnoxious, I get his pessimism but holy shit was it irritating, the guy keeps repeating how he doesn't believe that being cured has anything to do with your attitude and willingness to fight but he had so little of that in him that it doesn't surprise me he was so against that idea.

The book repeats itself a lot and is full of unrelated and uninteresting stuff, we hear very little about the children for example but too much about some friends, and none of that helps us really get to know Diamond better, we end the book knowing so little about his life before cancer. Its just a lot of whining.

I do feel I need to explain a bit more, of course this is Diamond's story and I can't criticize what he felt, it was what it was, and I know that dealing with illness (though I never had cancer but I was close to dying) is tiresome, depressing, you feel so hopeless, but there are also moments of light, when you need to stand up and keep going, create new hope again and again, and through the book it just felt like he had given up the moment they told him he had cancer.

When you are desperate you try anything, all that stupid homeopathic shit, why not give it a try? The alternative therapies didn't do shit for me but I'll be damned if I didn't try it, that's what you do.

I hate to think that after reading this book some people that have never been through illness will think this is how it goes, it doesn't, I'm sorry that Diamond couldn't find the strength and it's true that willpower alone won't cure anything but giving up won't either.

Don't be swayed by his "rationality", pessimism isn't rational.