“TRACY HOGG HAS GIVEN PARENTS A GREAT GIFT–the ability to develop early insight into their child’s temperament.” –Los Angeles Family
When Tracy Hogg’s Secrets of the Baby Whisperer was first published, it soared onto bestseller lists across the country. Parents everywhere became “whisperers” to their newborns, amazed that they could actually communicate with their baby within weeks of their child’s birth. Tracy gave parents what for some amounted to a the ability to understand their baby’s every coo and cry so that they could tell immediately if the baby was hungry, tired, in real distress, or just in need of a little TLC. Tracy also dispelled the insidious myth that parents must go sleepless for the first year of a baby’s life–because a happy baby sleeps through the night. Now you too can benefit from Tracy’s more than twenty years’ experience. In this groundbreaking book, she shares simple, accessible programs in which you will
• E.A.S.Y.–how to get baby to eat, play, and sleep on a schedule that will make every member of the household’s life easier and happier. • S.L.O.W.–how to interpret what your baby is trying to tell you (so you don’t try to feed him when he really wants a nap). • How to identify which type of baby yours is–Angel, Textbook, Touchy, Spirited, or Grumpy–and then learn the best way to interact with that type. • Tracy’s Three Day Magic–how to change any and all bad habits (yours and the baby’s) in just three days.
At the heart of Tracy’s simple but profound treat the baby as you would like to be treated yourself. Reassuring, down-to-earth, and often flying in the face of conventional wisdom, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer promises parents not only a healthier, happier baby but a more relaxed and happy household as well.
Tracy Hogg obtained her nursing degree in England, specializing in maternity and neonatal care. Her uncanny ability to understand and calm babies led to her nickname "The Baby Whisperer." In 1997, she founded Baby Technique, through which she consults with parents individually, organizes and teaches group classes, and provides nanny training and referrals. She is the mother of two daughters. Tracy Hogg died of melanoma in November 2004.
I read this book in 2010 when I had my first child. Now that baby #2 is almost here, I've picked it up again. I have a love hate relationship with any book that tries to tell you how to be a parent. I find the overall advice from Tracy is dead on in terms of how important it is to provide structure and a routine for your baby and how to go about getting your baby on that routine. Her overall method is basically the same as BabyWise, however I like her approach better - it seems not so judgmental. Having your baby on a routine (aka, flexible schedule) definitely helps you understand your baby better and makes it easier to tell what is wrong when baby is crying, upset, not sleeping, etc. HOWEVER - when baby is only a few days (or even weeks) old, they aren't yet ready for a schedule - so while you work on establishing one, don't get upset if it doesn't work right away - it just takes time (which the book never tells you - she makes it seem like as long as you do this from day 1, everything will work out smoothly). Some days, babies just cry. Sometimes, babies don't sleep through the night, even when you follow this method or BabyWise. Also, sometimes Tracy's methods are a bit ridiculous and over the top. You need to be careful not to get too hung up on overanalyzing your every move with your child and remember that your parenting instinct is also a great source of wisdom when it comes to making decisions about your children. But overall, I highly recommend this book and often give it as a gift to new moms - using Tracy's methods will help put your baby on a routine, which as I mentioned earlier, will help you better understand the needs of your child, reducing stress on both you and the baby.
1) Slow down with your baby - go at your newborn's pace, which is way, way slower than you'd expect
2) Respect your baby's personhood - develop an attitude toward your baby like they are a person who is in the room, which they are! Let them know what you're going to do next ("Now we're going to change your diaper... Now it's time to eat... Now it's time to go to sleep...")
3) Give your newborn a tour of the house when you first arrive home from the hospital, or, in case of a home birth, shortly after delivery.
4) Newborns have a very cyclical rhythm to their eating and sleeping patterns - once you discover it and get in tune with it, it becomes much easier to help the baby be comfortable and happy.
Great book. It may seem silly (or obvious) to focus on talking to your baby like they understand you and including them in on stuff, but doing so really helps YOU, the parent, keep ever-present with the fact that you have a whole person on your hands that you're tending to.
I purchased this book following the recommendations of other new moms on babycenter.com (great website, by the by). My husband and I sat down to read it together, but after an hour going through some of her material, decided it wasn't worth continuing (I think we read the second and third chapters). Leaving her annoying writing style aside (for the sweet love of god, I'm not your 'luv' and don't like being talked down to), no part of her book is based on scientific studies or fact. The one study she does cite doesn't remotely support what she wants it to. From the good research that's currently out there, as discussed at kellymom.com and other websites, some of her basic ideas cannot be supported - letting your baby cry it out sometimes (harmful, does not equal independence!), feeding your baby every 3-4 hours (newborns typically feed more often in the beginning and babies cluster feed during growth spurts), formula feeding is just as good as breastfeeding (studies consistently show that breast milk is better for the baby in the short and long term)... I could go on.
The helpful things she does have, like the feeding and activity chart, and the list of baby's cues can be found online for FREE.
I found this book completely useless and actually ridiculously funny at times because it was just so off. This may work for Tracy Hogg's celebrity clientele who have nannies taking care of their children but it is pretty useless for hands-on Moms. Her tone is annoying (she keeps referring to the reader as "ducky"). Try reading Dr. Harvey Karp's (yes a real MD!) "Happiest Baby on the Block"--a much better and more useful read. We use this book to elevate my son's mattress when he has a head cold. So far, that has been it's best use!
I really loved this book. I will recommend it to everyone who would like to understand how their baby communicates. I really feel like I can understand what my babies are saying and asking. I like the author's style of writing because I felt like she was my friend and right here helping me.
People complain that she bases everything off of experience and not science and that she doesn't know anything about breastfeeding. Well, I've read two la Leche League books and I really have had enough of their information, so her ideas were refreshing and helped me to not feel guilty about my decisions to cut back on my breastfeeding the boys so that I can be a better mother to them. You obviously feed hungry babies and you don't go longer than 3 hours between feedings until your baby is 4 months old. So, it seems right on to me.
I LOVE her ideas about flexible routines: E.A.S.Y (Eat, Awake, Sleep, "You"). It's not as rigorous as Babywise and it's very baby friendly. You learn how to read your baby's cues and to know what their language means. I am calmer around my boys and I move slower too. She has great ideas about calm baths and my boys haven't cried once since I started following her advice. She describes infant massage in a way I can understand.
Where sleep problems are concerned, her ideas are the best for us. She isn't for making a baby crying it out alone, nor does she take the polar opposite of sleeping with your baby and feeding them all night long. You stay with your baby at their crib and help them fall asleep w/o you rocking and holding them for hours. This has saved our lives because we were rocking Clark to sleep for hours and he'd wake up screaming as soon as his little body touched the crib. After your baby is 3 months old, she has a Pick Up, Put Down method where you pick up your baby and soothe them but as soon as that need is met you lay them back down. (This is if you've done "accidental parenting" which is what we did and you need to fix your problems).
If you already have big problems or you need to help your baby learn to sleep in their own crib after sleeping with you, please read this book before you make them cry it out :-) If it doesn't work and CIO is best for you, then by all means, do that. She says that too. Tom and I have tried PU/PD for two days now and we had to pick up Clark 23 times the first night, five the second, and tonight he went down the first time.
She also has a DVD that I checked out from the library. More great info on that as well.
She has a second book "The baby Whisperer Solves all Your Problems" which is if you are starting her method after your baby is born and you have problems. I'm reading this one right now and it is a necessity if your baby is already here or older than 3 months.
This book saved my life. It is similar to Babywise in principal, but much more respectful to a baby's temperament. It is also filled with practical tips. For example, if you are having trouble nursing, there are safe and natural supplements that you can use to increase your milk. She even tells you what to expect with side effects. I read some of the reviews where people said her program is ridiculous and rigid...if you want rigid, read Babywise...The Baby Whisperer advocates a routine, but she is NOT rigid about it at all. She informs the mom to use her best judgement in each situation...it helps you become tuned into your child and their particular cries. My second child was a highly intense, high maintenance, screaming baby that no one wanted to be near and she made me physically shake in a state of panic from her intensity...and it wasn't until I found this book that I started being able to work with her until we found a groove that worked for both of us. Today she is the most delightful child you will ever meet! Pure sunshine! And alot of it I thank to this lady because she helped me to learn to go with the flow and respect my child's intense temperament. THis book makes a mom feel good about herself and builds her self-confidence. It helped me be a more relaxed parent even as my children grew up. I have given or recommended this book to everyone I know who's had a baby.
I meant to read this when my first was a newborn but never got around to it (Hogg would say it's because I didn't have my baby on the E.A.S.Y. routine. I would say codswallop!), so I figured I'd give it a shot before my second. Even though I read the whole thing, I'm not really sure what the book is actually supposed to be about. The subtitle promises secrets of how to calm, connect, and communicate with your baby. Most of that information is limited to Chapter 3, which is about slowing down to listen and respond to your baby. There are two helpful charts in that chapter about noticing the baby's signals and ideas for how to interpret them. I thought Chapter 3 was the most useful chapter in the book. The other idea promised in the beginning of the book is information about Hogg's E.A.S.Y. routine. But again, this is limited to only one chapter, Chapter 2. Initially I thought that Chapter 2 was simply an overview of E.A.S.Y. and that chapters 4-7 would (as promised) provide more detail about implementing each part of the routine. Instead, Hogg spends each chapter delineating her personal philosophies about eating, playtime, sleep, and self-care rather than actually giving any detail about how her philosophies fit into the routine. Anytime she mentions someone disagreeing with her philosophy she says that their views are codswallop or poppycock and continues to reiterate that if you just follow E.A.S.Y. then your life will be perfect, without actually giving any reasons why her E.A.S.Y. method is better than the disagreeing viewpoint. But, um, how am I supposed to follow E.A.S.Y. again?
Since most parenting books do that, it really wouldn't have been that bad if I didn't find many of her ideas completely outdated and/or laughably unrealistic (Mom should take a nap every day from 2-5 while an endless stream of visitors, who apparently don't need to have jobs themselves, come to babysit and do light housework? Yeah, must be nice!). For a book written in 2000, she spends an awful lot of time talking about dads as the dum-dum partner who needs to be given "concrete tasks" so that he can "feel involved" ... with his own baby! And moms, you have to remember not to criticize how dad puts on the diaper because "he's learning" (as if mom isn't, too??) and you're "encouraging him to be a parent." Of. His. Own. Baby. She also has scorn for women who do extended nursing because OBVIOUSLY they must be doing it for themselves and the secret joy and power trip over dum-dum dad they get from having a toddler treat their nipples like a door knob. Hogg also states that she does not advocate beginning bedtime stories until the baby is 6 months old and can sit up and focus. Goodness gracious! As a literacy specialist, that line is enough to make me want to burn this book and give it a one star rating, or negative stars if I could. To be fair, though, she never says not to read to your child at all until 6 months, only that she doesn't advocate bedtime stories until then, which is what saved the book from the fire. But, codswallop! Poppycock! Read from birth! Read from birth!!!
At first the advice in this book seemed so logical that I was excited to have a plan for how to be a mom for the first time. Once my son arrived, I decided that this book was evil.
Hogg's basic idea isn't terrible - it's the guilt she assigns to anyone who doesn't use or can't follow her method. I was in tears more than once because I felt like a failure when her advice wasn't working. One day I literally threw the book against a wall with frustration. I think that action surprised enough to see how ridiculous it was to call myself a failure because her method wasn't working for my son and me.
I found other methods and other sources of advice that didn't heap on so much guilt and my son and I are enjoying each other very much now.
This book is so full of misinformation that it would be comical if Tracy Hogg wasn't intending for it to be actual parenting advice. I should have known that a woman who left her own children across the ocean to become a "parenting consultant" for Hollywood families would have nothing useful to say about actual parenting. Seriously - check out the reviews on the back cover - they are all from actors, producers, etc. rather than from pediatricians, nurses, or (gasp!) ACTUAL PARENTS.
Just a few reasons why I hate this book:
1) She calls herself a "lactation educator" and then proceeds to outline a feeding plan that will virtually guarantee a loss of milk supply. I'm pretty sure the Similac and Enfamil literature is more pro-breastfeeding than Hogg.
2) She believes that if your baby is not sleeping through the night by 3 months old, it is because you have trained your baby to wake up.
3) She thinks that a newborn baby can go 3-4 hours between feedings.
4) She refers to the reader as "ducky" and "luv" and has a condescending tone that grates on the nerves almost as much as her misinformation.
Her "EASY" routine is fine, but that is the only good nugget of information in this book, and that same routine can be found from about a million different sources. I get the feeling that Hogg really screwed up with her own kids and is now trying to make herself feel better by screwing up kids all over America.
I knew zilch about babies, so my friend picked this up for me at the library. In those first few weeks, I found the book helpful because it had charts to help with understanding a baby's cues.
When my son was less than 6 weeks old, I thought the author's E.A.S.Y. method was bunk. I mean, if a baby wants to fall asleep while eating, no cajoling seems to help. But by the time he was 2-3 months old, I realized he was on E.A.S.Y. - eat, activity, sleep, you time. And I was saner for it.
I read the book out of order, tackling the subjects as I needed help with them. One of the first chapters has a little quiz to see what sort of baby yours is (Angel, Textbook, Spirited, Grumpy), and I actually read that one last. Some of the questions didn't really apply to a newborn, so I took it when my son was 4 months old. Seems he's a Textbook baby.
I liked her perspective, too. Some of her ideas seemed a little over-the-top, but mostly she had very good advice.
Great reminders to keep doing what works best for you while still offering your newborn a routine. Huge takeaway is that all babies are different but flexible routines will help both of you to be happy and healthy.
Also, respect your baby and move at their pace! Our lifestyles are far too busy and fast paced for our littles.
I'm giving this five stars because I read it in one day, put my two month old on the E.A.S.Y. routine the next day, which she took to immediately, napping like a champ, and she slept through that night. That very night! Amazing!
This went on for a few weeks...Then her naps went all screwy. And she started waking up at night. And her naps got worse. Which made me want to throw away this book in frustration because I was trying to follow it to a tee and it was not working!
I still don't know what it is--are all babies different, and it's impossible to really put them on set routines at three or four months, no matter what the baby whisperer says? Or am I doing something wrong (whether b/c I'm reading it wrong or the whisperer has left out important details)? Or is my baby just going through a little phase and she'll get back on routine soon? I don't know! But my baby is still sleeping eight to 10 hours at night, just usually with a snack after about six hours (understandable, I think). Her naps don't go according to plan mainly, I think, because of life. And I let this book make me feel pretty darn guilty about it until I decided, screw it, you guys. If my kid is happy for the most part, sleeps some during the day (preferably in her crib, but yes, sometimes in my arms or being worn, etc.), and is sleeping that much at night, then I can count my blessings. And she can learn how to properly fall asleep when she's not, you know, just a little tiny baby. We'll get there.
So! Don't let this book make you feel guilty. Try to do E.A.S.Y., but for real, when it says sometimes you have to be flexible, they should bold that shit because you need to be flexible.
Oooh did I enjoy this parenting book. I really did. Now, I've since read a critique from a mother of two who liked Tracy Hogg's take on "E.A.S.Y." parenting too —- until she actually HAD the baby. And then discovered it's not a perfect mold.
Which, I get ... you can't apply one parenting concept to every kid. That said, what I liked about Tracy's take on parenting versus some other articles (even books) I've read is how she really drills in this idea that, YOU GUYS--IT'S COMMON SENSE. Yes, parenting is hard. But so much of it is in the approach, and the more even-keeled you are about it, the better off your baby is going to be.
Ahhhh...reassuring words to someone who, despite her best efforts, feels like she can't go anywhere these days without getting conflicting parenting advice from family/friends or coworkers.
Overall, Tracy's biggest recommendation is to get your child on a routine. Sure you might have to change it up some, but if you follow a routine pattern with them from the get-go (eating/activity/sleeping/some time for you), you're far more likely to have a baby with a better temperament whose needs are being met than one who gets to call the shots in the house.
Overall, this is probably my favorite (more) technical parenting book I've read yet. My only fault with it? About halfway through, in researching a bit more about Tracy on the Internet (Tracy who talks about how she's British, which led me to picturing her as this perfect British nanny, right down to the accent), I learned that she died about 10 years ago (at only 44!) from cancer. OH MY GOSH HOW SAD IS THAT? Broke my heart a little bit... not gonna lie.
The information in this book re: breastfeeding is flat out wrong in places. Which is awful for someone calling herself a lactation consultant. I can't trust a lactation consultant who considers formula feeding as beneficial as breast milk. Formula feeding is appropriate in many cases, but to consider it as good as breast milk is wrong. And the way she portrayed this decision actually made me frustrated and angry. It is also apparently wrong to carry your baby or nurse them to sleep. I read this book because my sister said it was extremely beneficial to them with their first child, but I found it to be a waste of my time. There are nuggets that are helpful to people that are lost in parenting, but since I already listen to my babies cues and talk to my baby, I didn't find it helpful to me. In addition, since I ascribe to a belief that its ok to carry or wear my baby, and to nurse on demand, this book just made me feel sad, and to argue with myself over my parenting choices.
The style was really cheesy. I liked some of her information (make sure baby gets the hind milk to stay full), but it was mostly a wash. Avoid the DVD companion because it's mostly a waste of time, and from the 90s. I would not recommend this one, but would stick to babywise. I would just recommend googling it and reading an overview of her concepts in case you want to implement them. I think her "shush pat" method is a huge waste of time and kind of ridiculous, but maybe it's because I'm blessed with a baby who can self soothe. I just can't imagine spending 9 minutes every time I'm putting her down patting her back!
I hated every minute I spent reading this book. I hope that some time, deep in the dark of December, when I am sleep deprived and trying to solve the enigma of a whaling baby, some nugget of information I gleaned in these miserable pages resurfaces to save me in a useful and non-demeaning way.
Kölcsönkaptam, és végülis nem is éri meg talán megvenni pluszban magamnak is (gondoltam rá, ha annyira jó), mert a csecsemős időszak után úgysem veszi elő az ember. Vannak benne hasznos dolgok, egyszerű magyarázatok, jó táblázatok, és iránymutatás, hogy hogy is kezeld az egyes helyzeteket. Ami ront rajta, az az amerikaias csevegés és mesélés, amikor sztorizik Connie-ról és Markról meg még ezer más névről, ami megintcsak olyan, mint a TLC műsorait hallgatni. Kicsit mazsolázni kell belőle emiatt az infót. A vége felé egy hosszabb rész szintén teljesen felesleges - örökbefogadás, dajkaanyaság, munkába való visszatérés, koraszülött babák és dadafogadás mikéntjéről esik benne sok szó... Nem azt mondom, hogy ezeknek a témáknak ne lenne létjogosultsága egy ilyen könyvben, de egyrészt eltér nagyon az előtte való tartalomtól, másrészt pedig abszolút az amerikai viszonyokat és statisztikát veszi alapul. Ami az elveket illeti, lehet a könyvvel egyetérteni bizonyos pontokon, meg nem-egyetérteni is, elég megengedő azért ebből a szempontból, hogy te gondoljál róla, amit akarsz, nem kényszerít rád semmit, de biztos van akinek ez, vagy az nem igazán tetszik benne. Az ilyen cumi vagy nem cumi, együtt vagy külön alvás, és társai egyébként is darázsfészek témák. Szerintem kommunikációjában szépen laviroz Tracy Hogg a nehéz terepen is, és emellett megmondja, hogy ő ebben, vagy abban hisz inkább.
El fogom olvasni a második részt is, úgy gondolom azért hasznos lehet (szintén kölcsön). Egyébként én azt hittem korábban évekig a címre, hogy a csecsemő lenne "a suttogó", nem az őt "megszelidítő" Tracy... :D
Non so dire se questo libro mi fa più arrabbiare per le inesattezze scientifiche che professa, alcune proprio contrario alle linee guida dell’OMS per dire... o il tono saccente da santona di questa ostetrica che vuole vendere l’ennesimo metodo infallibile.
Secrets of the Baby Whisperer was another book I read while up to my elbows in pregnancy and babies. Like any parenting book of this kind, it tells you that a calm, communicative parent gives way to a calm and settled baby. It's not always the case (there are other factors to be considered) but I do agree with Hogg's advice to a certain extent.
I am also an advocate of the routine, believing that an established and structured order of events will ultimately lead to an organised house and a more stress-free living environment. While Hogg's findings aren't groundbreaking, her approach is positive and non-judgmental. There are some great tips here and I would certain recommend this to any expectant parent or new parent who wants to gently introduce some structure to their new world of crazy.
Well, I would definitely have to say this book has good points and not so good points. There are some very useful tips in this book, however it all needs to be taken to heart with a good dose of reality. It is very important to begin to get your child on a routine as early as possible, but let's be real, you are never going to get a 3 day old newborn to space feedings out to 3 or 4 hours between each one. Neither are you going to get your newborn to sleep through the night right out of the gate. That being said, it is crucial that the parent be in charge and take cues from the baby, not the other way around. The idea of a flexible routine is wonderful, but the key word has to be flexible, not routine...
This book was recommended to me by a friend. I found it really helpful, although the author goes a bit overboard with the mnemonic devices. I liked that she gave some useful tools for how to provide babies with structure & guidance. The best thing was that she taught me it was ok to pause before reacting/responding to whatever my baby was doing. And that the best way to parent is to respect your baby as a person with his/her own personality, interests, likes & dislikes (which is harder to keep in mind than you'd imagine, if you've never been a parent). As with any parenting book, this book worked well for me, my personality, and my child's personality. It doesn't meet everyone's needs, but it certainly met mine.
A discussion of how to take care of babies. The British lingo is about 50% annoying and 50% cute. It lacks some specificity, particularly in describing what age she is talking about - she refers to babies generally without specifying what exact age she is talking about, which can be confusing.. She also is patronizing about how babies need to sleep through the night, but isn't particularly helpful in explaining how to do it. But it had some interesting thoughts, that were helpful, especially in the area of putting kids to bed, keeping track of what is happening without scheduling, and paying attention to what they actually need.
How can you follow parenting advice off someone who has never even met your child. YOU know them best. Stop worrying and have the confidence to do what you think is best for them. People will always give you advice and unknowingly guilt you with decisions, but stay strong to what you think is best. Perhaps I should write a book on my opinions and make money from vulnerable mums.