What do you think?
Rate this book


300 pages, Paperback
First published October 15, 2012
A long, silver dress dotted by sequins, flowed like water over a lithe body that was graceful and fluid. Spaghetti straps revealed toned arms, a long, slender neck. A straight column of black hair moved against her shoulders. He was positioned close enough to see that her large, wide-set eyes were violet. Violet.
Her voice became the only thing he could hear.
The longer he listened, and watched, the more he stared. Captured.
That’s when it hit him—a lightning bolt of attraction. A primitive male response to undiluted sweetness and a beguiling manner
Kellen watched. Oh, he couldn’t wait to work with this woman.
Full of undisguised awe, her reply stirred a second rush of attraction that wasn’t entirely welcome.
Before he knew it, it was almost one o’clock in the morning, and the spell shattered. I’ll wait up for you.
What had gotten into him tonight with Chloe?
He sank into a mix of emotions—pure, loving desire, then a longing that possessed two very distinct and potent layers. One belonged to his wife; the other belonged to the echo of a lightning strike—to a woman named Chloe Havermill.
For nearly two years she and Kellen had been trying to conceive, but with no success.
The night spent in Juliet’s arms nearly purged Kellen’s mind of the specter of Chloe Havermill.
Chloe hadn’t done anything inappropriate or out of line. Neither had he. Somehow, though, this vibration of need was stirring him up and unsettling a foundation he trusted implicitly. His body hadn’t betrayed him, but his heart was straying into territory that was absolutely forbidden—and signing Chloe as a client would bring them together on a continual and intense basis.
Additionally, the longer he waited to see her again, the itchier he became.
They conversed every couple days over the phone, or via e-mail. Each instance left him with a disquieting hunger, rooted deep in a foreign and increasingly powerful part of his psyche.
That something was desire.
So, he thought, she’s not quite as cool and composed as she looks. That makes two of us.
When their hands slid together, he received a jolt.
The expression on her face, its mix of joy and excitement, spoke to Kellen’s recognition of what was lacking in his life and slid against that empty spot he had just discovered.
Chloe Victoria Havermill. Everything about the woman struck Kellen like perfectly timed, beautifully blended music.
Kellen felt the craziest urge to reach out and stroke her cheek.
The simple act of watching her take a drink worked on his senses.
Her face glowed, and she shook her head, genuinely dazzled, and, yes, he recognized the signs: she was enamored, too.
Juliet had gotten into the habit of covering for Kellen and burying her own needs in the work she did through Trinity Christian.
A lack of God’s presence within their relationship was making a bad situation worse. Kellen had grown increasingly remote during the past several weeks, his distance intensifying to the point that only recently had she realized the blissful, passionate interlude of a month ago marked the last time they had made love.
She wore blue jeans, a white tank top and an open oxford shirt of purple that drew his focus to her amazing, violet eyes.
Awareness spread through his limbs in a flood when Chloe wheeled close.
Kellen didn’t particularly like the rise of need her attention gave him, nor the fact that he had been somewhat revealed in his infatuation, but he couldn’t refuse or stop the sensation either.
What would it feel like? Chloe’s infatuation, her openness…it tasted delicious.
Kellen’s throat went parched. Chloe’s hands slid against his, which remained in a tight clutch of the legal pad.
“Would you interested in lunch sometime next week? It’d probably be a good idea for us to review the—” “I’d love it.” She hadn’t even let him finish the thought.
What was he thinking, dallying with a woman—and the sanctity of his marriage—this way?
He remembered now, and he felt miserable for forgetting. Juliet’s defeat and sorrow hit him far worse than her anger ever could have.
He had forgotten about tonight, and that took a bite straight out of her heart.
The person’s name, whom Kellen had obviously included in his contact list, was Chloe Havermill.
Kellen had been talking about this Chloe woman a lot lately.
Kellen’s mood, his focus, had changed lately. Increasingly intense and withdrawn, he seemed overwhelmed, and that was completely out of character.
He tried to hide the fact that something was going on, but Juliet wasn’t fooled. And that something, she feared, was not going to be good. For either one of them.
A need for connection, for intimacy, swirled around them, but Kellen was finding it difficult to handle physicality with his wife right now. His heart was leading him to a place where he felt unworthy of sharing her body and spirit in such a sacred way.
Had he been too disconnected from her to realize the seamless way she had pulled this entire venture together?
He couldn’t reply. Instead, thoughts of Chloe crowded in. Images of her moved through his mind and slayed his conscience.
He was slipping away from God, his faith, and his marriage.
All along, he had figured he could work with Chloe in a professional setting and walk away from her each day.
All of a sudden, he was grateful he hadn’t cancelled lunch with Chloe. He couldn’t wait to tell her the news.
The more they relaxed over a delicious, leisurely meal, the more they laughed. The more they laughed, the closer they became.
Despite his convictions, he was in danger here, and he knew it, because in her eyes he detected a new and even more powerful level of emotion.
He wanted to take hold of her hand, draw her closer—and closer still…
Do not regard a woman lustfully, lest you commit adultery in your heart…
Chloe reached a spot of his heart that he had closed in a willing resolution to any other woman but his wife.
A simple electronic communication from Chloe had left him aroused at every level and completely engulfed in his feelings for her.
Why, recently, did Kellen seem so removed from their relationship?
What she saw in his eyes hit her with the impact of hammer blows. In his eyes was a desire that she had only ever seen directed toward one person. Her.
Why don’t you talk to me anymore with the same degree of tenderness I heard in your voice with her just now? What does she mean to you?”
Instead of affirmation, a thought occurred to her: Kellen hadn’t really answered her question about Chloe and what she truly meant to him.
He tried to fight the attraction he felt for Chloe, but time and again, his mind returned to the woman. Time and again, he stepped across one emotional boundary, then another and another until the rules of what he knew to be right and wrong became smeared and indiscernible.
He stretched an arm along the back of Chloe’s chair. The gesture looked casual, but felt anything but. His fingertips nearly brushed her shoulder. The skin there beckoned, covered only by the fabric of a pale blue silk shell. He inched just a bit closer…
Once the door closed behind Jason, Kellen stood, and so did Chloe. Their eyes met. A silence, redolent with charged electricity, filled the room.
Desire rammed home, knocking Kellen completely away from everything but Chloe.
But I wasn’t prepared for you, Kellen. Not at all. I can’t even think straight around you; you have that profound of an effect on me. You’re all I can think about. I know that’s wrong. I’m not the kind of girl who goes after married men. I’m not the kind of woman who…who…”
“I think what drives me crazy is the fact that I know you feel it, too. I feed off every look and every touch you give. You kiss my cheek, making it appear so casual, or help guide my step, and it thrills me. I love the simple act of talking to you on the phone, and the much more profound act of sharing all of this incredible forward progress with you.”
He took her arms, and then drew her in for a long, tight hug. Her heart thundered against his chest.
But I’ve never felt this way before, Kellen. What I feel for you takes me over.”
“Those are all the words I can give.” She tilted her head, opening herself to him like an offering. “I want more from you.”
Suddenly he couldn’t remember where time ended and began, where passion transformed into a primitive, elemental urgency of purpose. He only knew he needed this woman. He needed her open reception. He needed to know what she tasted like. He needed to know her textures. And none of it would be denied. Not this time.
His lips touched hers and a strangled sound bubbled upward from the depths of his chest. An instant later, he sank into a kiss that sent him tumbling and spinning. The world swirled into mind-dizzying flashes of color.
The kiss began with the giddy rush he had fully expected. The flavors and scents and feelings he had pined for now filled him. Her breath mixed with his, foreign and intriguing, pushing him on. Desire opened a floodgate, and he fell willingly beneath a deluge of passion that fed and intensified their connection.
“Kellen,” she whispered, “we needed that. We did. We needed to stop the tap dance.”
“Selfishly, I’m glad to discover you’re as affected by your feelings as I am.”
Her features hardened slightly, going intense. “Whether you’re ready to face the truth right now or not, you feel the same way about me.” She gathered a deep breath and then blew out through pursed lips. “Despite that, you’ll deny yourself by walking away from me?”
No, he prayed in fervor, Juliet can’t ever know about this. It was only a kiss—and I swear to You that it’s over. I’ve truly and honestly learned, God. You know that without question, because You know my heart…and my heart resides with You, and Juliet…
Nothing but fragments clicked into place-- unfaithfulness, betrayal, Juliet. Chloe turned and exited the studio.
“He saw them together! He actually caught them—kissing.” Juliet’s neighbor turned fully toward her friend, apparently enjoying the moment of revelation. “He said it was pretty steamy, too. Kicker is Jay tells me the guy is married! And a Christian!” “Wow.”
“Yeah, amazing, huh? I mean, can you believe that? Getting caught in the act?”
“Clandestine trysts aside, the one I feel sorry for is his wife. I wonder if she’s with him tonight. Seriously, the poor thing.”
“Yeah—I mean, once a cheater, always a cheater, you know?”
Being completely honest with herself, she had to admit: she had known something was wrong all along. She had known since that dinner at her parents’ house.
A cheater. Betrayer.
She had no idea what to do about Kellen’s infidelity.
“I’m sure you’ll remember the night it happened.” Juliet cut him off once more. “It was spontaneous and heated and wonderful. Remember? There were no thoughts of anything else but each other. Or so I had believed. But if you do the math, you’ll realize we conceived the night you met Chloe Havermill.” She sneered at him. “After all, it’s not like there’s been a ton of times that we’ve made love since then.”
“Ironic, isn’t it, that I’d get pregnant the night you came home from Iridescence—and her. I gave myself to you freely, Kellen. Like I always have. At the time, I had no idea the man I love—the man I’ve loved with all my heart—had most likely been riled up by dancing sensual circles around another woman.”
You’re looking at this pregnancy as a beginning. It’s not. To me, it marks the end.
“I can’t. I can’t, and I won’t, believe anything you say to me right now. You’ve been caught. That’s all your remorse is about. And, not to be cliché and all, but your actions speak much louder than your words.”
“Over the past few months, ever since you started working with Chloe, our relationship nose-dived. We’ve drifted and existed. I know that, and I admit I was too complacent to make changes. Still, you let her in! You found your way to a woman who is…is…”
Worse by far, however, Chloe fed a need in Kellen’s heart that Juliet obviously couldn’t.
“Frankly, I don’t know if we’re worth it, Kellen. Not anymore. What you’ve done speaks loud and clear about what you feel for me now.”
“Let me ask you something. Do you regret betraying our marriage, or do you regret getting caught in the act?”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do, and I don’t know what’s going to happen. I’ve landed smack-dab in the middle of hell, and you’ve ripped my heart out.”
Husband. Father. Christian leader. He had utterly failed…on all counts.
“I feel like such a failure. I feel like something…or someone…who’s cheap and easily replaced. I wanted to be the one for you. To be your wife was a gift to me. Something I revered. I vowed to be the woman who would share your life, and know everything about you—all the best and all the worst. You vowed that to me, too, but you came upon someone else.”
You’ll never have the same degree of trust, and that’s my fault.
“She never had my heart, Juliet. What she stirred in me is an emotion I can only define as overly-excited lust. There was physical desire, but beyond that was an energy, a chemical that ran rampant when we were together…I don’t know how else to explain it...
I know right from wrong. I never should have let her in. You’re the most precious part of my life.”
Like a form of acid, the deterioration of his values had eaten away at everything he knew to be most important.