0/5 ⭐️ you thought Fourth Wing was bad…? Oh you sweet summer child.
Goodreads has been real finicky about reviews recently so I will only be speaking on the book and its content (not the author though I have very many opinions (none of them kind☺️))
also there are spoilers in this review but who cares because you shouldn’t be reading this book to begin with! (Don’t let my sacrifice be in vain)
I intended to get this review out way sooner but unfortunately (and unsurprisingly) this book was actually so much worse than Fourth Wing!🥳
I naively assumed Fourth Wing would be the top contender for worst book of the year but Iron Flame made me wish I was reading Fourth Wing!!
At least Fourth Wing had the decency to be short enough to get through in a week, Iron Flame takes every flaw of Fourth Wing and not only makes it worse but makes it LONGER(???!?!) while somehow simultaneously being even more boring! Wow!🤩 Good job Yarros!!! What a fantasy icon!!🧝🏻♀️
Remember how Fourth Wing had one of the most idiotic, and juvenile writing styles in any adult fantasy book ever? Imagine that but now in a world where editing was never invented!! 🥰
The sentence structure was legitimately horrendous. I actually wish I was kidding.
If you have the unfortunate displeasure of being in a twenty mile radius of a copy of Iron Flame and are unlucky enough to stroll past it in the store or your local library, I beg you, after you recover from the sheer horror of being in the same room as such an abomination to fantasy, open it to a random page and just ATTEMPT to read a paragraph out loud.
I am a creative writing major, I read books out loud all the time. I have never struggled so much with a book in my entire life. Sincerely whoever had to do the audio book must have the endurance and the mental fortitude of a saint.
Forgive me, Yarros, for believing reading should be an enjoyable experience, clearly you do not agree. 🧎♀️
Also Yarros used 493 ellipses and 1089 em-dashes on my count! The book is about 634 pages!💫
And oh! A Drinking game🥂: take a shot every time a character’s eyebrow or brow or brows are mentioned!! Actually don’t! You’d definitely die! Brows are mentioned over a hundred times!!
🫠 I have to laugh (or else I might scream) at the idea that THIS is accessible fantasy because not only is the plot and the world building convoluted and unengaging but the writing is so incredibly shit that it makes you reread half of the sentences over again if you want to the vaguest inkling of an idea of what is going on in this horseshit world. To call Iron Flame accessible spits in the face of twenty plus years of hard work and effort by truly talented authors to make fantasy books that are actually welcoming and accessible to a wide audience.
Let’s actually talk about the plot. Fourth Wing was derivative and predictable and Iron Flame doesn’t even try to be any more.
Here’s a list of some 🌈✨creative😍 plot points Yarros used:
- A shitty copycat version of the Hunger Game’s rebellion (with zero of the interesting nuance or intelligent discourse)😯
- what is essentially a boring Umbridge at a half-assed attempt to create tension😧
- The Rider Quadrant and the Infantry Quadrant finally interact!! They are dropped in the middle of a forest, are being hunted by dragons, and are given two maps and told to go to a location marked on the maps! A simple assignment for students at a war school who surely know how to navigate using a map because that’s an important skill for soldiers to know, right?! 🗺️ Not only do these riders not learn how to read a map until year two (WHY?) but apparently the Infantry and Riders hate each other so much😠 that THEY DON’T EVEN COMPARE THE TWO MAPS WHEN PEOPLE HAVE CONFLICTING IDEAS ABOUT WHERE THEY ARE. THEY WALK AROUND IN A FOREST FOR HOURS INSTEAD OF COLLABORATING ONCE. I don’t care how much you hate someone at school, if you are given a group assignment literally step one is compare all documents you have been given so you can be done as quickly as possible. ALSO WHEN ONE OF THE INFANTRY ASKS TO WHAT TO SO IN THE EVEN OF A DRAGON ATTACK THE RIDERS LAUGH AND MAKE FUN OF THEM FOR BEING SCARED??? THEN WHEN A DRAGON ATTACKS THE RIDERS ARE MAD AT THE INFANTRY FOR DOING THE WRONG THING AFTER THEY LITERALLY WERE NOT TOLD WHAT TO DO!! Yarros when I find you Yarros Yarros when I find you Yarros🏃♀️🏃♀️
- Jack Barlow back because I guess Yarros couldn’t come up with another new antagonist… also he’s Venin for reasons. Really it’s not that interesting. The resurrection trope is so fun!!🤩🤗
- A torture scene summary that is not scary in the slightest because this book conditions you to know that Violet is never in any real danger despite trying to tell you she is always on the verge of death 😱
- A visit to what is essentially the Summer Court in search the Book of some bullshit thing called a luminary (btw we don’t even know what it looks like until 60% through the book AFTER they’ve acquired it???)🤫
- a catty ex-girlfriend (named Cat, wow ✨creative✨) making a reappearance and doing nothing but promotes wonderful stereotypes (even though Yarros tries really hard to tell you it doesn’t on page the literal page)💃🏻
- and the most anticlimactic and boring battle with the dumbest ending I’ve ever read!! 🤺
There are more stupid plot points, but I’m getting brain damage trying to remember the plot of this book so I’m just going to talk about things that made me wish I was attempting to consume whole boulders rather than read the most accessible fantasy book of all time: Iron Flame by Rebecca Yarros😇
Varrish. He’s our Umbridge lookalike. He strolls into the Dragon Rider Academy and he’s super scary with his one-eyed dragon Solas!!! 😰
I mean he would have been, but literally the first time he does anything scary by letting his dragon incinerate an entire squad, TAIRN FLYS IN AND THREATENS SOLAS. AND SOLAS AND VARRISH BOTH COWER BECAUSE TAIRN IS SO BIG AND SUPER SCARY AND THE 🌈✨⭐️MoST PoWErFuL⭐️✨🌈 DraGOn😀
Well maybe this is understandable because Solas just killed like twenty people, right?🤔 But no! Tairn isn’t mad about that, he’s mad because Violet got like a first degree burn.
I don’t know what Yarros was attempting to achieve with this scene but you know what it does achieve? It tells the reader that Varrish isn’t actually a scary villain because having Tairn put him in his place the moment he does a single villainous action. IT DESTROYS ALL TENSION YOU COULD HAVE HAD.🧍🏻♀️And don’t you worry, dearest reader, this is a trend. LATER TAIRN MAKES VARRISH GET ON HIS KNEES AND APOLOGIZE TO VIOLET FOR BEING MEAN TO HER. ⁉️⁉️
IN FACT ANYTIME ANYONE IS MEAN TO VIOLET THE ENTIRE WORLD COMES TO HER DEFENSE. Any character, any dragon, I swear to god a speck of dust could land on Violet wrong and the entire cast of characters would jump them. And it’s not just her friends. THE SIDE CHARACTERS, MAIN CHARACTERS, CHARACTERS WITH LITERALLY A SINGLE LINE OF DIALOGUE, MINOR AND MAIN ANTAGONISTS.
THEY ALL COMPLIMENT VIOLET
C O N S T A N T L Y.
VARRISH COMPLIMENTS HER, THE VENIN COMPLIMENT HER, CAT COMPLIMENTS HER.
Sloane (the sister of Liam, the stupid dead guy👱🏻♂️ that Violet tries to convince us was her friend) says the most benign of comments against Violet and Rhiannon and every other personality-devoid lampshade of a character in a seven mile vicinity practically threatens to jump this GRIEVING 20 year old girl.
Characters that Violet doesn’t even know will compliment her out of the blue.
THE BOOK READS LIKE AN INSECURE PERSON WISH FUFILLMENT. 💇♀️
It’s so unbelievably unbearable. 👹
The Violet Defense Squad™️ is literally in every chapter. My favorite part about this book was that I couldn’t find a chapter where Violet isn’t complimented for doing literally nothing in any of all 66 chapters of the entire book.🤭🤩
And in case you were concerned that anyone who was mean to Violet would get interesting character development, nope! They either end up dead or want to be her friend by the end🥰 awesome!😎 Violet is my favorite character😍
Are you interested in Violet’s character arc? Well let me tell you the wonderful highs of this perfect character that we’re supposed to root for and support!!😘
Violet starts out strong by making insane demands of Xaden like demanding he tell her literally everything even though she had her mind read last book! And she doesn’t just mention this once. She mentions this every single time we see Xaden. She doesn’t trust him, she tells us, but she loves him, she tells us. 🙄 They’re such a cute and believable and interesting couple 🥰🥰 and their dynamic is made so much better by that random ex-girlfriend that was included because Yarros got bored I guess!😍
On top of being annoying and insecure, Violet decided that this book she would also double down on being one the worst people imaginable! Remember when all those people Violet considered friends died in her first year and she was so sad about that?
Well actually this book Violet tells us that she’s gained some new perspective!!🤯
Actually she’s glad all those people died because watching all those people die made her a better rider because they inspired her to… not die(?)! Because that’s a normal and morally good thing for our main character that is SO empathetic and SO kind to say!🙈 Violet is so good, I wish I was just like her!!!☺️
Also remember Sloane and her dead brother?!👱🏻♂️ Well Liam spent all of book one writing letters to Sloane, his only living family! Wouldn’t it be so nice if Violet gave those to Sloane out of the kindness and goodness of her heart to help Sloane cope with the loss of her older brother?!😊 Well she didn’t!!
Violet withheld the letters for weeks after Sloane arrived at the school, (weeks in which Sloane very well could have died by the way) and only offered to give Sloane the letters if she agreed to train with Imogen (a girl Sloane does not like) and only agreed to give her one letter a week!! There are over fifty letters Violet! What happens if Sloane dies during a freak accident which you KNOW are rampant at this death school???! Violet is such an empath guys🥺 she really understands and cares for the people around her.😣 Don’t you wish you were just like her?!😁
Violet also does a variety of things such as:
- Dropping a gryphon flier off the side of a cliff and then being surprised when said gryphon flier’s friends don’t like her? Inspirational💫
- Talking shit on the infantry for not trusting dragons and being cowards after literally being a prime example as to why the infantry should not trust riders or their dragons! So empathetic🥺
- Wanting to murder Xaden’s ex for saying a couple of barely mean comments to her! A totally rational response!!!👍
- Trying to translate a journal from a dead language she doesn’t know (she does know many other dead languages, of course) instead of giving it to the girl that she’s knows understands that dead language! Wow! the smartest main character of our generation! 🤯
- Accusing every scholar and student of the school of perpetuating misinformation and hiding history that she herself just found out about! She’s so kind and thoughtful 🥳
- Forgetting instantly about her friend who got her neck snapped after some assassin asked who Violet Sorrengail was. She cares so much about her friends!👯♀️
- And many, many more abhorrent things🤩
In case you forgot (because apparently Yarros did 90% of the book) Violet has EDS. Sometimes it’s brought up, but not really with any substance. And Violet just wraps her joints and “pushes through it” and “puts all her pain into a box” (??) and pretends she doesn’t have a problem at all. No further accommodations are granted to her in this book aside from the saddle from last book which is already dumb because everyone trying to hold onto a flying creature should be using saddles anyway.
I highly suggest: Fly Or Die: The Ableist Narrative of Toxic Perseverance by Ella T Holmes for a much better explanation than I can provide as someone that doesn’t have EDS.
Let’s talk about Xaden because if I have to think about how super special and powerful and amazing Violet is I might eat all the gravel in my backyard. Xaden’s depiction in this book is gross to say the least.
Rebecca has confirmed that he’s a PoC which is great!
Keeping that in mind, I love how he’s described as incapable of love and is called a monster and is untrustworthy!!😍😍And I absolutely adore that our super special and talented basic white girl Violet is the person that shows him true love and trust and is the only person who can take his mask of cruelty and violence off for the first time even though she’s so much smaller and weaker than big, strong, powerful Xaden. It’s so cool that all the other characters are so terrified of him and that he acts as little more than Violet’s big overprotective and jealous guard dog! I especially love that Violet’s mom practically tortured him and gave him a hundred and something scars and that he has to take responsibility for all of the marked ones!! That’s not concerning and horrific!!!! And I love that he also got another scar for “claiming” Violet!! that’s so attractive and romantic and good representation and not at all fetishizing men of color at all!!!🥰🥰🥰 Thank you so much for your hard work Yarros!!!🫡
He’s also annoying and refuses to tell Violet anything unless she asks hyper specific questions. Their whole dynamic is just annoying and stupid.
And I love all of Yarros’ other characters who have less personality than paper bags with faces drawn on them!!🪑 Frankly a folding chair has more charm than any of the characters in this book.
They’re so unique and are definitely really funny and don’t ever bog down the scenes with so many characters that you can’t tell who is even talking anymore! They’re all unique and dynamic with character arcs!! Of course! What else would they be?😆
And the dragons! 🐉 Oh the dragons! How could I forget about the dragons that are nothing but glorified Uber rides!! They don’t do shit but posture and growl and be boring!
Here’s some fun facts about dragons: dragons can choose their tail shape but they can’t choose their color which directly influences their personality and temperament!!
All baby dragons are gold because that’s interesting! Is there an evolutionary reason for that or something? Not that we’re told of!
More dragon sex is mentioned, thankfully we don’t have to live through the dragon-lust again though!
Also the dismounts that Rebecca describes the Riders doing are literally physically impossible!! All the riders should be dead if they try to pull that shit! Giant flying dragons are not horses you can’t just walk around on it while it’s diving and jump off of it😭😭
Oh and Anadarna also is now like a super special purple/chameleon never before seen breed of dragon with the rarest tail shape!🐲 Are we surprised? No. Just bored. 😴
She also now has like a disabled/malformed wing. Her wings were fine in the first book, but now they’re not? Idk. I feel like that should have been a thing in book one but whatever. (Tairn literally blames it on Violet which is sort of hilariously fucked up??) But anyway she obviously can still fly because god forbid a disability ever hinder a character in anyway that makes them adapt, but she can’t ever hold a rider? Violet is like 90 pounds as we are so graciously reminded so I feel like if Andarna gets bigger she definitely should be able to carry her but whatever. 🤷♀️
TLDR: the dragons are BORING. And they’re not even funny or cool or even scary. Why write about dragons if you make them boring and insignificant to the plot??! And Andarna is a special-special because of course she is. 🤪
This review is getting way too long so let’s just talk about the ending.
Oh no! Violet’s mom that got no real development or anything died! Anyway. 🧐
Why the fuck did the revolution refuse to help Navarre? They claim to be morally superior and to care about the lives of civilians but just blatantly ignore like 50% of the continent’s population because they’re Navarre citizens? And we’re supposed to root for them? Right! Awesome! Okay!😆👍
What are the actual morals of the revolution? What is their end goal? Why did Violet join them so quickly without asking any questions??🫠
She’s so intelligent!🤓
I’m completely fine with Xaden becoming Venin, though I doubt it will be resolved in an interesting way. Though I don’t think it’s really an interesting plot twist and I saw it coming a mile away after all the boring Venin info dumping I had to sit through, but at least it’s something.
HOWEVER I CANNOT FORGIVE IT FOR MAKING THE FINAL LINES OF THE BOOK
“Welcome to our fucked-up family. Guess we’re brothers now.”
THE SECOND TO LAST LINE IN THE BOOK IS “WELCOME TO OUR FUCKED UP FAMILY”😭😭😭😭😭
WHAT WHAT WHAT
DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT DID TO ME??
I READ 634 PAGES OF THE WORST, MEANDERING, BULLSHIT PLOT POINTS, HORRIFIC AND BORING SEX SCENES, INDECIPHERABLE INFO DUMPS, NONSENSICAL MAGIC SYSTEMS, FLAT CHARACTERS, BORING DRAGONS, HORRIBLE REPRESENTATION, AGGRESSIVELY UNFUNNY FRAT BOY HUMOR, UNEDITED GARBAGE AND YOU END IT WITH “WELCOME TO OUR FUCKED UP FAMILY”???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!!?!??!
ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME A JOKER ARC??? WAS THAT THE POINT OF THIS BOOK????
AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY AS AN ACTUAL FANTASY BOOK???
THE REASON THIS BOOK TOOK ME SO LONG TO REVIEW IS BECAUSE I GOT ACTUAL PSYCHIC DAMAGE FROM THE LAST LINES OF THIS BOOK.
I HYPERVENTILATED I THREW MY PHONE I SCREAMED I STARED AT A WALL AND CONTEMPLATED MY PLACE AND PURPOSE ON THIS EARTH
I HAD MORE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT THAN ANY CHARACTER IN THIS ENTIRE BOOK IN THE 0.5 SECONDS AFTER READING THOSE LINES
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO REACT TO THAT??
DID YARROS THINK SHE ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING WITH THAT ENDING??
HAVE I LOST MY MIND?? PEOPLE LIKE THIS BOOK? PEOPLE TAKE IT SERIOUSLY AND MAKE UP THEORIES FOR IT??? WHAT??????
GENUINELY IF YOU LIKE THIS BOOK WHY? WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? ARE YOU OKAY? DO YOU NEED HELP?
WELCOME TO OUR FUCKED UP FAMILY??? GUESS WE’RE BROTHERS NOW???
YARROS I AM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS WHAT DO YOU MEAN WELCOME TO OUR FUCKED UP FAMILY WHAT DO YOU MEAN😭😭😭😭😭😭
I FEEL LIKE I AM ENTITLED TO FINANCIAL COMPENSATION FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL DAMAGE THIS BOOK HAS INFLICTED UPON ME
so thanks for reading my review <3 I hope this helps your decision making process when it comes to buying books :) (don’t buy this book) Yarros did not receive any financial compensation for my suffering and I highly recommend that if you want to read this book (for some reason??? Why?? I spent so long writing this to give you reasons not to!😭) you get it from your library or literally any other means.
Red Tower and Yarros are not people that deserve your hard earned money or support.
Also whoever the fuck claimed to have edited this book is a world class scammer because they got paid for doing literally nothing. But also they should be fired and exiled and never allowed to look at words again.
I have more to say but I hit the word limit💀