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Big Maria
There’s gold in them thar hills―or more precisely, in Arizona’s Chocolate Mountains, where one hundred years ago a miner stashed a king’s ransom of the stuff. But times have changed. The world has changed. And now the Chocolate Mountains are the home of the largest military artillery range in the world. Harry’s living on disability and getting liquored up and beaten down. Frank’s a feisty old-timer battling cancer and a domineering daughter. And Ricky’s a good kid in a bad spot, doing everything for family. Together they’re staking what little they have left on a dangerous quest to the Big Maria Mine―and the gold that can offer them a new beginning. Unfortunately a meth-dealing biker wants a piece, a trigger-happy AWOL soldier wants to play chicken in a live minefield, two stubborn burros want to go home, a starving mountain lion wants his dinner, and the US Army wants to rain on our heroes’ parade with real bombs. When you’re all out of crazy ideas, you’ve got to try the stupid ones.
331 pages, Paperback
First published September 25, 2012
235 people are currently reading
1063 people want to read
About the author
Johnny Shaw
28 books283 followersJohnny Shaw was born and raised on the Calexico/Mexicali border, the setting for his award-winning Jimmy Veeder Fiasco series, which includes the novels DOVE SEASON and PLASTER CITY. He is also the author of the Anthony Award-winning adventure novel, BIG MARIA.
His shorter work has appeared in Thuglit, Crime Factory, Shotgun Honey, Plots with Guns, and numerous anthologies. He is the creator and editor of the fiction magazine, BLOOD & TACOS, which recently added a phone app, a Podcast, and a book imprint to its empire.
Johnny received his MFA in Screenwriting from UCLA and over the course of his writing career has seen his screenplays optioned, sold, and produced. For the last dozen years, Johnny has taught writing, both online and in person. He has taught at Santa Barbara City College, UC Santa Barbara, LitReactor, and numerous writing conferences.
Johnny lives in Portland, Oregon with his wife, artist Roxanne Patruznick.
His shorter work has appeared in Thuglit, Crime Factory, Shotgun Honey, Plots with Guns, and numerous anthologies. He is the creator and editor of the fiction magazine, BLOOD & TACOS, which recently added a phone app, a Podcast, and a book imprint to its empire.
Johnny received his MFA in Screenwriting from UCLA and over the course of his writing career has seen his screenplays optioned, sold, and produced. For the last dozen years, Johnny has taught writing, both online and in person. He has taught at Santa Barbara City College, UC Santa Barbara, LitReactor, and numerous writing conferences.
Johnny lives in Portland, Oregon with his wife, artist Roxanne Patruznick.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 207 reviews
February 22, 2015
This might be the most epic male buddy book I've read. Well, if all the buddies are somewhat lacking in the smarts dept.
You have Harry Schmittburger, a down on his luck loser who just gets by day to day in his job as a prison guard. Ricky, a hard luck guy with a wife and young daughter-he ends up causing heartbreak wherever he goes and Frank, an elderly Indian dying from cancer. When Frank tells the crew about his grandfather's stories about gold in the Big Maria mine, they all know their luck has to change. They decide to go ahead and go for it. Even if it is in the middle of a military training range.
There are several things that I've learned from reading a Johnny Shaw book:
1. If you are two stoners that have decided to build a moat around your property, filled with barbed wire and dog shit smeared spears, chances are if you can get over it. Other people also can.
2. I'm going to be more careful with my drinking choices. Why?
You know when you get high and Nacho Doritos sound better than a lady hole? Or at least as good? Shooting at things, firing a gun at cans and bottles, and signs and furry animals, that's the Doritos of alcohol. GI Joe down there, he's wasted. I'm thinking tequila. Definitely not red wine. Red wine makes you more stabby.
3. If you get lost in the desert with your crazy mom. Eating moto aka weed as a salad may not be a better choice.
4.When one of your friends tells you that bringing the dead guys head on a trip could be bad mojo..He might be right.
5. Reading one of Shaw's books will cause you to laugh very hard. My throat is actually sore this time because my stupid ass got choked laughing and I coughed my head off.
Totally worth it though.
You have Harry Schmittburger, a down on his luck loser who just gets by day to day in his job as a prison guard. Ricky, a hard luck guy with a wife and young daughter-he ends up causing heartbreak wherever he goes and Frank, an elderly Indian dying from cancer. When Frank tells the crew about his grandfather's stories about gold in the Big Maria mine, they all know their luck has to change. They decide to go ahead and go for it. Even if it is in the middle of a military training range.
There are several things that I've learned from reading a Johnny Shaw book:
1. If you are two stoners that have decided to build a moat around your property, filled with barbed wire and dog shit smeared spears, chances are if you can get over it. Other people also can.
2. I'm going to be more careful with my drinking choices. Why?
You know when you get high and Nacho Doritos sound better than a lady hole? Or at least as good? Shooting at things, firing a gun at cans and bottles, and signs and furry animals, that's the Doritos of alcohol. GI Joe down there, he's wasted. I'm thinking tequila. Definitely not red wine. Red wine makes you more stabby.
3. If you get lost in the desert with your crazy mom. Eating moto aka weed as a salad may not be a better choice.
4.When one of your friends tells you that bringing the dead guys head on a trip could be bad mojo..He might be right.
5. Reading one of Shaw's books will cause you to laugh very hard. My throat is actually sore this time because my stupid ass got choked laughing and I coughed my head off.
Totally worth it though.
July 25, 2018
Lol. I had to take sporadic breaks from the three lunatics/main characters - and their run of bad luck. The three of them: Harry, Ricky and Frank, end up in the same hospital - for one reason or another.
A potential tryst at Boog's Hideout (Bar) goes horribly wrong for Harry Schmittberger (prison guard/corrections officer) - so he's hurting all-over, including his butt-hole, which he neglects to mention to the Doctors, as he doesn't want to know why he's hurting down there. And Ricky (bus driver) who's been daydreaming of gold and underwater ghost towns, is suddenly snapped out of his reverie - when he has a run-in with a Stag/Buck, whilst driving his school bus back to Blythe, California, from doing the Seniors' drug run. The male deer won. Frank (one of the seniors/oldsters on the bus) had an intriguing story to tell - about the Big Maria Mine - which caused Ricky to lose his concentration, resulting in the crash that killed six elderly people. Anyway, Frank reiterates the story of his Grandfather and the goldmine to Harry, after Harry sees Ricky in one of the hospital rooms. Whilst propped against two metal dumpsters - after being removed from a bar, in an inebriated state - Harry overheard Conspiracy Todd talking about gold - but that lil venture didn't pan-out, But Franks' story (about the map, the mine, the Imperial Reservoir and the underwater ghost-town of Picacho), seems more promising, and when he's released from hospital, he obsessively does research and concludes, most of Franks' story is true.
He realises, that he can't go prospecting on his own, so he enlists Frank and Ricky, though Ricky needs to dry-out first, sober-up and stay off the booze - and he ends up (under duress) with Franks' grandsons, Bernado and Ramón - and their three dogs: Tuco, Blondie and Angel Eyes. Another character, Cooker Hobson (Worky), ends-up on the ranch, with Bernado and Ramón, when his curiosity, gets the better of him. He should've believed Harry's bull-shit story - about The Gilded Flicker - and his interest in birdwatching. Lol.
I really enjoyed this story, about three losers, looking for another chance - at changing their luck and lives for the better. All the characters' are completely insane, but the three friends care about each others' well-being. I don't think there was one cast member, who wasn't crazy - and there's multiple POV. Harry seems to have a penchant for water, despite his issues with hygiene. I think he spent more time in aqua, than on dry land - not once on his terms, though. There are quite a few funny scenes, throughout. One of them: was when Harry and Frank thought they'd have some fun, when they see Ricky sleeping on a pier and quietly as possible, lead a burro, towards Ricky - which licked his face. Visualising, that scene as it unfolded, was amusing. And the result.
In conclusion: I'm going to miss the three main characters, and their antics, banter, inner monologues and conversations - which were very funny, at times. The book won the 2013 Anthony Award.
A potential tryst at Boog's Hideout (Bar) goes horribly wrong for Harry Schmittberger (prison guard/corrections officer) - so he's hurting all-over, including his butt-hole, which he neglects to mention to the Doctors, as he doesn't want to know why he's hurting down there. And Ricky (bus driver) who's been daydreaming of gold and underwater ghost towns, is suddenly snapped out of his reverie - when he has a run-in with a Stag/Buck, whilst driving his school bus back to Blythe, California, from doing the Seniors' drug run. The male deer won. Frank (one of the seniors/oldsters on the bus) had an intriguing story to tell - about the Big Maria Mine - which caused Ricky to lose his concentration, resulting in the crash that killed six elderly people. Anyway, Frank reiterates the story of his Grandfather and the goldmine to Harry, after Harry sees Ricky in one of the hospital rooms. Whilst propped against two metal dumpsters - after being removed from a bar, in an inebriated state - Harry overheard Conspiracy Todd talking about gold - but that lil venture didn't pan-out, But Franks' story (about the map, the mine, the Imperial Reservoir and the underwater ghost-town of Picacho), seems more promising, and when he's released from hospital, he obsessively does research and concludes, most of Franks' story is true.
He realises, that he can't go prospecting on his own, so he enlists Frank and Ricky, though Ricky needs to dry-out first, sober-up and stay off the booze - and he ends up (under duress) with Franks' grandsons, Bernado and Ramón - and their three dogs: Tuco, Blondie and Angel Eyes. Another character, Cooker Hobson (Worky), ends-up on the ranch, with Bernado and Ramón, when his curiosity, gets the better of him. He should've believed Harry's bull-shit story - about The Gilded Flicker - and his interest in birdwatching. Lol.
I really enjoyed this story, about three losers, looking for another chance - at changing their luck and lives for the better. All the characters' are completely insane, but the three friends care about each others' well-being. I don't think there was one cast member, who wasn't crazy - and there's multiple POV. Harry seems to have a penchant for water, despite his issues with hygiene. I think he spent more time in aqua, than on dry land - not once on his terms, though. There are quite a few funny scenes, throughout. One of them: was when Harry and Frank thought they'd have some fun, when they see Ricky sleeping on a pier and quietly as possible, lead a burro, towards Ricky - which licked his face. Visualising, that scene as it unfolded, was amusing. And the result.
In conclusion: I'm going to miss the three main characters, and their antics, banter, inner monologues and conversations - which were very funny, at times. The book won the 2013 Anthony Award.
April 21, 2014
When three men with nothing left to lose go looking for a lost gold mine in the Yuma Proving Grounds, they have no idea the forces they will be up against...
Johnny Shaw is quickly blazing his way up my list of favorite authors. Big Maria is the tale of three losers looking for their big score. Frank is an old man with cancer. Harry Schmittberger (guess what his nickname is) is a prison guard. And Ricky was a bus driver until he wrecked his bus and became the defendent in a couple dozen lawsuits. When the legend of the Big Maria Mine reaches Harry's ears, the three men join forces, forming a unit almost as capable as one regular man.
The supporting cast is also pretty good. Bernardo and Ramon, Frank's nephews, are hilarious and even I was afraid of Frank's domineering daughter Mercedes. Cooker, aka Worky, was as close to a villain to be found in the book but I eventually felt sorry for him. Poor Worky. The obstacles the trio encountered were well done and seemed fairly accurate since they were venturing into an inhospitable desert that was also a firing range.
Big Maria is one hilarious book. From the opening with Harry puking into his own pants while passed out on the toilet, I was hooked. As with Shaw's other books, Dove Season and Plaster City, the prose is peppered with hilarious lines. Unlike a lot of humorous crime books, this one doesn't lose its luster after fifty pages or so and the humor doesn't descend to a ridiculous level. It's a lot like a Joe Lansdale books and like Lansdale, I think it would be a blast to go to a barbeque at Johnny Shaw's house.
The ending was great. It wasn't all blowjobs and rainbows and I liked how things were resolved.
Like Shaw's other two books, Big Maria would make a great movie. Four out of five stars.
Johnny Shaw is quickly blazing his way up my list of favorite authors. Big Maria is the tale of three losers looking for their big score. Frank is an old man with cancer. Harry Schmittberger (guess what his nickname is) is a prison guard. And Ricky was a bus driver until he wrecked his bus and became the defendent in a couple dozen lawsuits. When the legend of the Big Maria Mine reaches Harry's ears, the three men join forces, forming a unit almost as capable as one regular man.
The supporting cast is also pretty good. Bernardo and Ramon, Frank's nephews, are hilarious and even I was afraid of Frank's domineering daughter Mercedes. Cooker, aka Worky, was as close to a villain to be found in the book but I eventually felt sorry for him. Poor Worky. The obstacles the trio encountered were well done and seemed fairly accurate since they were venturing into an inhospitable desert that was also a firing range.
Big Maria is one hilarious book. From the opening with Harry puking into his own pants while passed out on the toilet, I was hooked. As with Shaw's other books, Dove Season and Plaster City, the prose is peppered with hilarious lines. Unlike a lot of humorous crime books, this one doesn't lose its luster after fifty pages or so and the humor doesn't descend to a ridiculous level. It's a lot like a Joe Lansdale books and like Lansdale, I think it would be a blast to go to a barbeque at Johnny Shaw's house.
The ending was great. It wasn't all blowjobs and rainbows and I liked how things were resolved.
Like Shaw's other two books, Big Maria would make a great movie. Four out of five stars.
February 2, 2016
Three men who are down on their luck go looking for gold in the mountains of a desert.
“Badges? We ain't got no badges. We don't need no badges. I don't have to show you any stinking badges!”
No, no, this isn't The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. The characters in this have far more in common with Donald Westlake’s luckless thief Dortmunder than they do with Humphrey Bogart.
In a little shit splat of a town Harry is a prison guard scamming disability checks that he uses to finance his drinking. Frank is an elderly Native American who is more scared of his angry overbearing daughter than he is of the cancer that is killing him. Ricky isn't too bright but dearly loves his wife and daughter and hopes to someday get them out of the trailer park they’re living in.
While lying in an alley outside a bar with puke in his pants, Harry overhears a conversation that gets him interested in the gold mines of the nearby Chocolate Mountains, and he decides that’s the way to change his fortunes. When circumstances bring Rick and Frank into the plan, Frank reveals some family history that gives them a clue to a fortune in gold that might be hidden away in the old Big Maria mine.
The problem is that the Big Maria is located in the middle of the mountains where the US military tests out all of its artillery, bombs, and mines. Their efforts to locate the gold result in a dark comedy of errors and explosions.
Like his first novel Dove Season, Johnny Shaw has written a very funny story set in the desert country of the California/Arizona border populated with a collection of misfits and losers. The great thing about it is that Shaw makes you care about these people and their struggle to improve their lives and doesn't treat them like cartoon cliches.
There are a lot of twists to the story that is often funny and graphically gross, usually at the same time. The ending was somewhat abrupt, and I liked Dove Season a bit more than this one. Still it’s a fun read and a humorous story about guys seeking their fortunes with grim determination no matter what life throws at them.
Full disclosure: I have done an unpaid review for the Blood & Tacos quarterly e-magazine that Johnny Shaw edits and writes for.
“Badges? We ain't got no badges. We don't need no badges. I don't have to show you any stinking badges!”
No, no, this isn't The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. The characters in this have far more in common with Donald Westlake’s luckless thief Dortmunder than they do with Humphrey Bogart.
In a little shit splat of a town Harry is a prison guard scamming disability checks that he uses to finance his drinking. Frank is an elderly Native American who is more scared of his angry overbearing daughter than he is of the cancer that is killing him. Ricky isn't too bright but dearly loves his wife and daughter and hopes to someday get them out of the trailer park they’re living in.
While lying in an alley outside a bar with puke in his pants, Harry overhears a conversation that gets him interested in the gold mines of the nearby Chocolate Mountains, and he decides that’s the way to change his fortunes. When circumstances bring Rick and Frank into the plan, Frank reveals some family history that gives them a clue to a fortune in gold that might be hidden away in the old Big Maria mine.
The problem is that the Big Maria is located in the middle of the mountains where the US military tests out all of its artillery, bombs, and mines. Their efforts to locate the gold result in a dark comedy of errors and explosions.
Like his first novel Dove Season, Johnny Shaw has written a very funny story set in the desert country of the California/Arizona border populated with a collection of misfits and losers. The great thing about it is that Shaw makes you care about these people and their struggle to improve their lives and doesn't treat them like cartoon cliches.
There are a lot of twists to the story that is often funny and graphically gross, usually at the same time. The ending was somewhat abrupt, and I liked Dove Season a bit more than this one. Still it’s a fun read and a humorous story about guys seeking their fortunes with grim determination no matter what life throws at them.
Full disclosure: I have done an unpaid review for the Blood & Tacos quarterly e-magazine that Johnny Shaw edits and writes for.
February 9, 2013
This is Johnny Shaw's second novel, following his excellent debut, Dove Season. Again Shaw demonstrates his gift for weaving pathos with drop-dead humor and his ability to create memorable characters who are very sympathetic even though most of them are total losers.
Big Maria basically amounts to Treasure of Sierra Madre meets a Chevy Chase vacation movie. Harry Schmittberger is on medical leave from his job as a guard at the Chuckawalla Valley State Prison. He is living on his disability checks and prolonging his return to work as long as humanly possible--preferably forever.
Rickey McBride is barely cobbling together an existence, attempting to provide a living for his wife and infant daughter by driving a dilapidated bus, transporting southern California senior citizens across the Mexican border where they can score cheap prescription drugs. Frank Pacheo is an aging Indian, struggling to beat cancer and other medical problems or at least hold them at bay for as long as possible.
When Harry accidentally overhears a conversation about a long-lost gold mine, the Big Maria, he sees what he believes might be his last real chance to escape his miserable life. Rickey and Frank are drawn into the plan which seems ridiculously simple, save for a few minor problems. To begin with, the map to the lost mine is buried under an abandoned house and the house in turn is at the bottom of a lake that has been created by the construction of a dam. If that weren't bad enough, the mine itself is now smack in the middle of a military artillery range.
While obstacles like this might deter lesser men, Harry, Rickey and Frank press on against all odds, determined to find the fortune that will set their lives on a brighter path. It's an incredible journey, often touching and hilariously funny within the same paragraph. And it speaks volumes to the dreams and to the bonds that drive and inspire all of us.
Big Maria basically amounts to Treasure of Sierra Madre meets a Chevy Chase vacation movie. Harry Schmittberger is on medical leave from his job as a guard at the Chuckawalla Valley State Prison. He is living on his disability checks and prolonging his return to work as long as humanly possible--preferably forever.
Rickey McBride is barely cobbling together an existence, attempting to provide a living for his wife and infant daughter by driving a dilapidated bus, transporting southern California senior citizens across the Mexican border where they can score cheap prescription drugs. Frank Pacheo is an aging Indian, struggling to beat cancer and other medical problems or at least hold them at bay for as long as possible.
When Harry accidentally overhears a conversation about a long-lost gold mine, the Big Maria, he sees what he believes might be his last real chance to escape his miserable life. Rickey and Frank are drawn into the plan which seems ridiculously simple, save for a few minor problems. To begin with, the map to the lost mine is buried under an abandoned house and the house in turn is at the bottom of a lake that has been created by the construction of a dam. If that weren't bad enough, the mine itself is now smack in the middle of a military artillery range.
While obstacles like this might deter lesser men, Harry, Rickey and Frank press on against all odds, determined to find the fortune that will set their lives on a brighter path. It's an incredible journey, often touching and hilariously funny within the same paragraph. And it speaks volumes to the dreams and to the bonds that drive and inspire all of us.
April 18, 2015
Full of rowdy, raunchy, irreverent goodness, Johnny Shaw hits the ball out of the park with this one. A fat guy in a leg cast (Harry), a muscle-bound fireplug with a withered arm (Ricky), and a wise old Indian who is dying of cancer (Frank) hitch up their man pants and join forces to find the gold that legend tells is located in the lost Big Maria mine.
'If Harry was going to do something stupid, he was damn sure going to be smart about it.'
Never have I come across such dealings as with a man who pukes his pants, twice. Why is that so funny to me? Unknown. But as I snorted and chuckled my way through this book, my husband looked askance at me more than once.
Fabulous characters, hilarious dialogue, and an ending that hit just right.
'If Harry was going to do something stupid, he was damn sure going to be smart about it.'
Never have I come across such dealings as with a man who pukes his pants, twice. Why is that so funny to me? Unknown. But as I snorted and chuckled my way through this book, my husband looked askance at me more than once.
Fabulous characters, hilarious dialogue, and an ending that hit just right.
November 3, 2012
Meet three lovable losers with nothing left to lose:
Harry - spends most of his time either drunk or hungover, and seems to be a magnet for bad luck
Ricky - has messed up badly and wants to win back the respect of his wife and daughter
Frank - an older man with not much time left, is bored with waiting around for death to find him
Frank's the fellow with the most common sense and also something of a "father figure" for the first two. BUT, before you go gettin' that Ozzie Nelson vibe, know that Frank will do WHATEVER IT TAKES to keep Harry and Ricky in line and focused on the prize...which just happens to be a forgotten gold mine.
The fact that said gold mine is now located within the confines of the US Army Proving Ground?
Details. Mere details.
So off these fellows go, on a very bumpy, and very funny, quest for fortune and treasure. In front of them? Guys with guns, choppers and tanks. Behind them? Harry's scary daughter, Mercedes. Forget 'pitbull with lipstick'...she's a rhino with a perm, and she'll do WHATEVER IT TAKES to protect her father, and basically keep him from having any fun.
This book is a comedy of misadventures with likable characters, great dialogue, hilarious situations, and oh, yeah - donkeys. Sounds like a winner to me.
Harry - spends most of his time either drunk or hungover, and seems to be a magnet for bad luck
Ricky - has messed up badly and wants to win back the respect of his wife and daughter
Frank - an older man with not much time left, is bored with waiting around for death to find him
Frank's the fellow with the most common sense and also something of a "father figure" for the first two. BUT, before you go gettin' that Ozzie Nelson vibe, know that Frank will do WHATEVER IT TAKES to keep Harry and Ricky in line and focused on the prize...which just happens to be a forgotten gold mine.
The fact that said gold mine is now located within the confines of the US Army Proving Ground?
Details. Mere details.
So off these fellows go, on a very bumpy, and very funny, quest for fortune and treasure. In front of them? Guys with guns, choppers and tanks. Behind them? Harry's scary daughter, Mercedes. Forget 'pitbull with lipstick'...she's a rhino with a perm, and she'll do WHATEVER IT TAKES to protect her father, and basically keep him from having any fun.
This book is a comedy of misadventures with likable characters, great dialogue, hilarious situations, and oh, yeah - donkeys. Sounds like a winner to me.
March 14, 2016
For me, there are several variations on the "amazing reading experience."
1. When you can't put a book down due to perfect plotting.
2. When you find yourself caring deeply about its characters.
3. When those characters are people who in real life you would shudder to have as neighbors and yet you still care!
4. (and this is truly the rarest of all and nothing short of an absolute gift) When every few pages you stumble across a one-liner that makes you smile, laugh, shake your head, and wonder just how long this writer can sustain this lovely train of thought.
Such is the wonder of Big Maria, the second novel (following Dove Season) by Johnny Shaw, which somehow manages to achieve all of the above and more. This book is, at heart, an unlikely buddy movie. It's driven by our three main characters...an old cancerous Indian named Frank. An alcoholic, ex-prison guard named Harry, and a down-on-his-luck family-man named Ricky who's fresh off a tragedy of his own making. Long story short, they all end up together on a quest for gold in some mountains dead-smack in the middle of a U.S. government weaponry range. Take my word for it—it's crazier than it sounds, and in Shaw's masterful hands, this is a great thing.
You can't talk about this book without quoting from it....
"You know how when you get high and Nacho Doritos sound better than a lady hole?"
"Are you the idiot in charge? The idiot that may have killed my father through your negligence? Or is there a different idiot I should be yelling at?”
"My brother’s dumb as a box of hammers and she ain’t no rocket surgeon."
"Everything got a lot more confusing after the burro exploded."
And these quotes don't even begin to capture the brilliant insanity of the scenes that comprise this novel. To be honest, I'm still not quite sure how Johnny Shaw pulled it off, but I know that it's a testament to his skill as a writer. There's comedy here, on every page, but you can taste the tears behind the laughs, and to me, as a writer, that's something I aspire to. That's the mark of something capital S Special. There is no tinier tightrope to dance across, and I would even venture to say that it's a hallmark of great fiction on par with Victor Gischler, Scott Phillips, Carl Hiassen, and even John Steinbeck.
And I say Steinbeck, because the characters who populate Shaw's novel are marginalized. They live in the outskirts of society, in places most of us would never go. They've been kicked, scoffed at, ridden over. But the cool, beautiful thing this novel shows us, is that we aren't any different. Our dreams and our fears are the same.
Shaw has invented "dust bowl" fiction for the 21st Century.
Funny, sad, madcap, compulsively readable, and ultimately, so very, very wise.
I mentioned the great one-liners earlier but the best of the book comes on the last page. I won't write it down here, because you have to read the book for the privilege of reading it. However, you'll know when you've reached it, because you'll have a lump in your throat. It's a perfect line spoken by a deeply flawed character who has changed because of the story we just read—what more can we ask great fiction to be?
- Blake Crouch, September 2012
1. When you can't put a book down due to perfect plotting.
2. When you find yourself caring deeply about its characters.
3. When those characters are people who in real life you would shudder to have as neighbors and yet you still care!
4. (and this is truly the rarest of all and nothing short of an absolute gift) When every few pages you stumble across a one-liner that makes you smile, laugh, shake your head, and wonder just how long this writer can sustain this lovely train of thought.
Such is the wonder of Big Maria, the second novel (following Dove Season) by Johnny Shaw, which somehow manages to achieve all of the above and more. This book is, at heart, an unlikely buddy movie. It's driven by our three main characters...an old cancerous Indian named Frank. An alcoholic, ex-prison guard named Harry, and a down-on-his-luck family-man named Ricky who's fresh off a tragedy of his own making. Long story short, they all end up together on a quest for gold in some mountains dead-smack in the middle of a U.S. government weaponry range. Take my word for it—it's crazier than it sounds, and in Shaw's masterful hands, this is a great thing.
You can't talk about this book without quoting from it....
"You know how when you get high and Nacho Doritos sound better than a lady hole?"
"Are you the idiot in charge? The idiot that may have killed my father through your negligence? Or is there a different idiot I should be yelling at?”
"My brother’s dumb as a box of hammers and she ain’t no rocket surgeon."
"Everything got a lot more confusing after the burro exploded."
And these quotes don't even begin to capture the brilliant insanity of the scenes that comprise this novel. To be honest, I'm still not quite sure how Johnny Shaw pulled it off, but I know that it's a testament to his skill as a writer. There's comedy here, on every page, but you can taste the tears behind the laughs, and to me, as a writer, that's something I aspire to. That's the mark of something capital S Special. There is no tinier tightrope to dance across, and I would even venture to say that it's a hallmark of great fiction on par with Victor Gischler, Scott Phillips, Carl Hiassen, and even John Steinbeck.
And I say Steinbeck, because the characters who populate Shaw's novel are marginalized. They live in the outskirts of society, in places most of us would never go. They've been kicked, scoffed at, ridden over. But the cool, beautiful thing this novel shows us, is that we aren't any different. Our dreams and our fears are the same.
Shaw has invented "dust bowl" fiction for the 21st Century.
Funny, sad, madcap, compulsively readable, and ultimately, so very, very wise.
I mentioned the great one-liners earlier but the best of the book comes on the last page. I won't write it down here, because you have to read the book for the privilege of reading it. However, you'll know when you've reached it, because you'll have a lump in your throat. It's a perfect line spoken by a deeply flawed character who has changed because of the story we just read—what more can we ask great fiction to be?
- Blake Crouch, September 2012
January 8, 2017
I just loved this! Such a brilliant story, really well written and hilarious too. Everything about this just all adds up to a fabulous read.
Three lovable rogues. Harry, Ricky and Frank. Harry, Prison Guard on disability - trying to con disability payments from his employer. Ricky, unemployed - Drives the drug bus (driving the elderly from the seniors home across the border into Mexico to get cheap prescriptions) to make ends meet. Frank, elderly Native American - rides the drug bus. They team up to try and find Big Maria, an abandoned Gold mine in the center of an artillery proving ground and it's just one catastrophe after another while they try to get there. The dialogue, the plot, the characters and secondary characters...it's just all brilliant!!
This is just crying out to be made into a movie and I'd pay good money to watch it. I hope someone has the good sense to make that happen. It's very worthy.
If you like your humour on the dark site, don't mind frequent mentions of bodily fluids and copious amounts of swearing then this is definitely the book for you. It's a cracking read and so well done. I can't fault it.
I'll read anything Johnny Shaw writes from now on.
*Note - I was sent a copy of this by the publisher*
Three lovable rogues. Harry, Ricky and Frank. Harry, Prison Guard on disability - trying to con disability payments from his employer. Ricky, unemployed - Drives the drug bus (driving the elderly from the seniors home across the border into Mexico to get cheap prescriptions) to make ends meet. Frank, elderly Native American - rides the drug bus. They team up to try and find Big Maria, an abandoned Gold mine in the center of an artillery proving ground and it's just one catastrophe after another while they try to get there. The dialogue, the plot, the characters and secondary characters...it's just all brilliant!!
This is just crying out to be made into a movie and I'd pay good money to watch it. I hope someone has the good sense to make that happen. It's very worthy.
If you like your humour on the dark site, don't mind frequent mentions of bodily fluids and copious amounts of swearing then this is definitely the book for you. It's a cracking read and so well done. I can't fault it.
I'll read anything Johnny Shaw writes from now on.
*Note - I was sent a copy of this by the publisher*
January 9, 2013
BIG MARIA is a humorous adventure that bands three unlikely acquaintances together. The novel has some of the funniest and down to earth characters I’ve had the pleasure of reading including, old man Frank saluting death with a middle finger to the sky, Ricky a non conventional beef cake with a heart of gold and muscles of steel, and Harry, the requisite class clown who evolves from a simple minded alcoholic to explorer extraordinaire. Not to mention Franks crazy grandkids and certifiable daughter Mercedes. Throughout the course of the journey the odd bunch develop a real sense of camaraderie and male bonding as flaws hide behind dust, grime and foolish actions.
In this opportunistic treasure-hunt type caper the continued optimism and overall hilarity of the plight to locate long hidden gold within the Chocolate Mountains is refreshing to read – even the violence is laugh out loud funny. Author Johnny Shaw is a master of witty dialogue and punchy punch-lines, I couldn’t contain the odd smirk here and there while reading Harry’s twisted logic or Frank’s grandson’s general marijuana clouded conversation.
Harry, Ricky, and Frank face a myriad of obstacles along their journey with each new encounter further defining the characters themselves as well as providing high entertainment value. BIG MARIA is a book that doesn’t take itself too seriously and that message is well conveyed throughout the course of the novel. The slapstick trio and crazy plot will have the reader in stitches while still managing to portray a more robust and deeper message in the growth of the group and warm heartedness of the unexpected.
I can’t begin to praise the talents of Johnny Shaw enough. Much like DOVE SEASON (though quite a different novel), BIG MARIA will capture your hearts and minds – a must read. 5 stars.
This review also appears on my blog: http://justaguythatlikes2read.blogspo...
In this opportunistic treasure-hunt type caper the continued optimism and overall hilarity of the plight to locate long hidden gold within the Chocolate Mountains is refreshing to read – even the violence is laugh out loud funny. Author Johnny Shaw is a master of witty dialogue and punchy punch-lines, I couldn’t contain the odd smirk here and there while reading Harry’s twisted logic or Frank’s grandson’s general marijuana clouded conversation.
Harry, Ricky, and Frank face a myriad of obstacles along their journey with each new encounter further defining the characters themselves as well as providing high entertainment value. BIG MARIA is a book that doesn’t take itself too seriously and that message is well conveyed throughout the course of the novel. The slapstick trio and crazy plot will have the reader in stitches while still managing to portray a more robust and deeper message in the growth of the group and warm heartedness of the unexpected.
I can’t begin to praise the talents of Johnny Shaw enough. Much like DOVE SEASON (though quite a different novel), BIG MARIA will capture your hearts and minds – a must read. 5 stars.
This review also appears on my blog: http://justaguythatlikes2read.blogspo...
August 23, 2020
I became Johnny Shaw's fan after reading his Jimmy Veeder Fiasco series and reading Big Maria has done nothing to change my mind!
Three losers form an odd alliance to embark on a hunt for a huge amount of gold, hidden a hundred years ago in the Big Maria mine, presently located in the mountains and canyons that form the artillery range of the U.S. Army. They face unexpected challenges at every step and blunder along undeterred, aided by divine providence or just dumb luck. The quest, while testing their endurance and perseverance and faith, brings out of them the best features they themselves are unaware of. The story is both riotously funny and touchingly heartwarming at the same time. The well-etched characters, right down to the couple of burros, are crazy, eccentric and appalling at times, but are memorable and inspire the reader's sympathy. The plot moves along at a fast clip and the dialogues are tremendously enjoyable.
I am not a big fan of toilet humour and there is quite some amount of it in this novel, though it does not feel forced and hence is forgivable. The ending, though quite satisfactory, feels a bit rushed. Other than that, Big Maria is a fantastic tale of courage, optimism and friendship told with a huge amount of craziness and humour that is essential to survive the tough times such as the present, and I rate it 4.5 out of 5!
Three losers form an odd alliance to embark on a hunt for a huge amount of gold, hidden a hundred years ago in the Big Maria mine, presently located in the mountains and canyons that form the artillery range of the U.S. Army. They face unexpected challenges at every step and blunder along undeterred, aided by divine providence or just dumb luck. The quest, while testing their endurance and perseverance and faith, brings out of them the best features they themselves are unaware of. The story is both riotously funny and touchingly heartwarming at the same time. The well-etched characters, right down to the couple of burros, are crazy, eccentric and appalling at times, but are memorable and inspire the reader's sympathy. The plot moves along at a fast clip and the dialogues are tremendously enjoyable.
I am not a big fan of toilet humour and there is quite some amount of it in this novel, though it does not feel forced and hence is forgivable. The ending, though quite satisfactory, feels a bit rushed. Other than that, Big Maria is a fantastic tale of courage, optimism and friendship told with a huge amount of craziness and humour that is essential to survive the tough times such as the present, and I rate it 4.5 out of 5!
February 13, 2016
Thought I would give Johnny Shaw a second chance after finding Dove Season kind of average. I liked this one even less. Harry, Ricky, and Frank are three losers, down on their luck, but they form a friendship and seek to find a cache of gold in a long forgotten mine. If you like zany chaos, you may like this, but don't expect the Coen brothers. Funny at times, but not very satisfying, at least for me.
August 10, 2012
'Treasure of the Sierra Madre’ for a new generation
At the risk of teasing potential readers with an impossible comparison, no review of Johnny Shaw’s new novel, BIG MARIA, can be offered without a salute to one of American literature’s classic tales. Themes and characterizations from B. Traven’s 1927 novel and the classic 1948 movie Treasure of the Sierra Madre echo throughout Shaw’s story of three losers overcoming multiple obstacles in modern America to search for their lost gold mine. As a student of film, Shaw would likely cringe at the challenge of trying to match the epic standard of a film selected for preservation by the National Film Registry and the Library of Congress as “culturally, historically or aesthetically significant.” Treasure of the Sierra Madre deserves a defining place in our literary heritage, but there’s no way to ignore its presence as the unnamed elephant stomping in the background of BIG MARIA. Not to worry. Shaw has done an admirable job of updating that basic plotline, following it to craft a novel as entertaining as it is literary.
If you require a sympathetic hero to follow, however, you might look elsewhere. Initial reviews of Treasure had the same reaction in 1948, chiding Humphrey Bogart for his decision to play a greedy prospector willing to trade his moral compass for a sack of gold. But we don’t enjoy The Sopranos because Tony is a role model. I don’t always need to root for a hero. Interesting characters get the job done for me. And frankly I’m bored with books featuring some former CIA agent righting all the world’s wrongs or a ponytailed Special Agent Sugar Britches karate chopping her way to justice. But here’s a trio of earthly salt, described by Shaw as men for whom “success had become unrecognizable” while united in a Quixotic quest that should lead them all to the grave instead of riches.
Seeking review parallels from Treasure, I found these lines by Simon Davis on Amazon to honor the film’s DVD release, calling it a “spellbinding study of human nature in its raw form.” He describes Treasure as “a gritty, rugged three-character study of the lengths that individuals will go in the pursuit of wealth”--and the same could be said about BIG MARIA.
Shaw’s story also includes shades of Elmore Leonard and Carl Hiaasen for those who enjoy eccentric characters and wisecracks. In the end, however, BIG MARIA emerges most importantly as a novel for everyone who realizes the search can be more rewarding than the treasure itself.
At the risk of teasing potential readers with an impossible comparison, no review of Johnny Shaw’s new novel, BIG MARIA, can be offered without a salute to one of American literature’s classic tales. Themes and characterizations from B. Traven’s 1927 novel and the classic 1948 movie Treasure of the Sierra Madre echo throughout Shaw’s story of three losers overcoming multiple obstacles in modern America to search for their lost gold mine. As a student of film, Shaw would likely cringe at the challenge of trying to match the epic standard of a film selected for preservation by the National Film Registry and the Library of Congress as “culturally, historically or aesthetically significant.” Treasure of the Sierra Madre deserves a defining place in our literary heritage, but there’s no way to ignore its presence as the unnamed elephant stomping in the background of BIG MARIA. Not to worry. Shaw has done an admirable job of updating that basic plotline, following it to craft a novel as entertaining as it is literary.
If you require a sympathetic hero to follow, however, you might look elsewhere. Initial reviews of Treasure had the same reaction in 1948, chiding Humphrey Bogart for his decision to play a greedy prospector willing to trade his moral compass for a sack of gold. But we don’t enjoy The Sopranos because Tony is a role model. I don’t always need to root for a hero. Interesting characters get the job done for me. And frankly I’m bored with books featuring some former CIA agent righting all the world’s wrongs or a ponytailed Special Agent Sugar Britches karate chopping her way to justice. But here’s a trio of earthly salt, described by Shaw as men for whom “success had become unrecognizable” while united in a Quixotic quest that should lead them all to the grave instead of riches.
Seeking review parallels from Treasure, I found these lines by Simon Davis on Amazon to honor the film’s DVD release, calling it a “spellbinding study of human nature in its raw form.” He describes Treasure as “a gritty, rugged three-character study of the lengths that individuals will go in the pursuit of wealth”--and the same could be said about BIG MARIA.
Shaw’s story also includes shades of Elmore Leonard and Carl Hiaasen for those who enjoy eccentric characters and wisecracks. In the end, however, BIG MARIA emerges most importantly as a novel for everyone who realizes the search can be more rewarding than the treasure itself.
February 7, 2017
Harry Schmittburger, AKA Shitburger, a corrections officer off work milking his medical leave and pay becomes friends with Ricky and Franklin. Ricky is self employed driving senior citizens to the Mexico border twice a day in his old blue bird school bus so they can walk to Mexico to purchase their prescription drugs much cheaper than in the States. Frank is one of Ricky's regulars as he frequents South of the border to purchase his cancer medicines. These three form the most unlikely friendship after hearing Frank tell a legendary story handed down from his Native American grandfather concerning lost gold in the Chocolate Mountain range. These friends must first find the long lost map which happens to be buried, at the bottom of a lake, before they go searching for the gold that just so happens to be located in the middle of an US Army Proving Grounds site. This book was absolutely hilarious. Beware to those readers that don't like foul language and cursing as it is predominate throughout. If language is not an issue then you really need to read this if you need a laugh out loud romp of a book. This is the second Johnny Shaw novel I've read and he has quickly became a favorite however he doesn't have a whole lot of books written. Would give Big Maria 4 1/2 stars due to the humor. I could see this being made into some kind of slapstick comedy movie in the future.
April 21, 2014
BIG MARIA is a very different novel from Johnny Shaw's debut DOVE SEASON. I can only qualify it of being an adventure novel for grownups. Nobody is seeking adventure for the thrill of seeking adventure. It's nobody's job to hunt treasures and yet Ricky, Harry and Frank are going for long lost gold and long lost dreams of carefree living and not worrying about the money.
I really bought into the positivity of BIG MARIA. It's a crazy, wild adventure novel, but it's fueled by the earnest and most simple desire of being better. It speaks to everyone of us the way a Steven Spieldberg movie would, yet it has the filthy bravado of Kevin Smith's slacker movies...and guns...and meth...and an abusive mom...and a lot of great crime paraphernalia I'll let you discover.
I really bought into the positivity of BIG MARIA. It's a crazy, wild adventure novel, but it's fueled by the earnest and most simple desire of being better. It speaks to everyone of us the way a Steven Spieldberg movie would, yet it has the filthy bravado of Kevin Smith's slacker movies...and guns...and meth...and an abusive mom...and a lot of great crime paraphernalia I'll let you discover.
December 14, 2018
When it comes to writing stores about losers, misfits, and just plain quirky individuals that band together in some hair-brained scheme, no one does it better than Johnny Shaw. In some ways, his escapades remind me of a good Don Westlake "Dortmunder" romp, but with more grit, profanity, and raw edge.
Big Maria refers to a long lost gold mine, and our story centers on three "amigos" who band together despite some rather daunting odds to recover what might turn out to be a major forgotten gold find, or just another myth. The book begins rather roughly, and I was concerned I might not like it as much as I had other Shaw novels. The first protagonist we meet is Harry Schmittberger, a prison guard on medical leave and possibly the world's biggest loser. Harry has grown up carrying the burden of a last name that had perpetually been morphed into an expletive and he seems to just naturally attract sh*t to himself. But never fear, for as rough as the initial chapters are, the book finds its footing and takes off on a merry ride all the way to the rather heartwarming conclusion.
Harry teams up with two unlikely accomplices-- an old native American named Frank Pacheo, who is dying of cancer, and a young, strong but limited in talent fellow called Ricky McBride. All three men are struggling with life and trying to scratch out some sort of existence, but seem to be on the short end of the stick more often than not.
Harry has cooked up a great plan to retrieve the lost map to the lost gold, and hey, what could go wrong? Well, how about one of his old prison inmates, now on parole, whom Harry contacts for information about the Army training range where the mine is located. This former meth-cooker wants to steal whatever Harry is after. Oh, and an AWOL soldier, a active minefield, a couple of "borrowed" burros that want nothing to do with helping the boys, and the US Army that is practicing artillery and tank maneuvers in the very area that Big Maria lies now dormant. Throw in a hilarious pair of Frank's grandsons and steamroller of a daughter, and you've got yourself a bonafide Johnny Shaw tale-- hilariously funny (I mean laugh out loud passages) one minute, graphic and raw another, and full of pathos woven into the plot.
Though perhaps not as good as some of his other works, this novel stands up just fine. The bonding between the three men, even if far-fetched as hell, is fun to watch, and although the ending seems a bit light, leaving some aspects of the story abruptly unfinished, it was nonetheless able to bring a smile and nod of appreciation to this reader. If new to this author, begin perhaps, with his first book, Dove Season, but do circle back to this entertaining romp. You won't even have to trudge through a minefield!
Big Maria refers to a long lost gold mine, and our story centers on three "amigos" who band together despite some rather daunting odds to recover what might turn out to be a major forgotten gold find, or just another myth. The book begins rather roughly, and I was concerned I might not like it as much as I had other Shaw novels. The first protagonist we meet is Harry Schmittberger, a prison guard on medical leave and possibly the world's biggest loser. Harry has grown up carrying the burden of a last name that had perpetually been morphed into an expletive and he seems to just naturally attract sh*t to himself. But never fear, for as rough as the initial chapters are, the book finds its footing and takes off on a merry ride all the way to the rather heartwarming conclusion.
Harry teams up with two unlikely accomplices-- an old native American named Frank Pacheo, who is dying of cancer, and a young, strong but limited in talent fellow called Ricky McBride. All three men are struggling with life and trying to scratch out some sort of existence, but seem to be on the short end of the stick more often than not.
Harry has cooked up a great plan to retrieve the lost map to the lost gold, and hey, what could go wrong? Well, how about one of his old prison inmates, now on parole, whom Harry contacts for information about the Army training range where the mine is located. This former meth-cooker wants to steal whatever Harry is after. Oh, and an AWOL soldier, a active minefield, a couple of "borrowed" burros that want nothing to do with helping the boys, and the US Army that is practicing artillery and tank maneuvers in the very area that Big Maria lies now dormant. Throw in a hilarious pair of Frank's grandsons and steamroller of a daughter, and you've got yourself a bonafide Johnny Shaw tale-- hilariously funny (I mean laugh out loud passages) one minute, graphic and raw another, and full of pathos woven into the plot.
Though perhaps not as good as some of his other works, this novel stands up just fine. The bonding between the three men, even if far-fetched as hell, is fun to watch, and although the ending seems a bit light, leaving some aspects of the story abruptly unfinished, it was nonetheless able to bring a smile and nod of appreciation to this reader. If new to this author, begin perhaps, with his first book, Dove Season, but do circle back to this entertaining romp. You won't even have to trudge through a minefield!
April 11, 2019
Is this Shaw's best book? I don't know, but it's a goddamn good place to start if you haven't read him before. It's got action, humor, characters you won't forget, and a hell of a set up. It was my first Shaw and it only got me started on a lifelong habit. Highly recommended.
August 17, 2014
This is one of those books that I'll recommend to my friends as a must read. Big Maria is fun. It's got great characters, a clever plot, and lots of heart.
Three men set out on an unlikely quest, with no magical powers, modest intelligence, and barely a whole body between them.
Harry Schmittberger (you know what they called him in school) is a man who goes where life takes him, and that's usually into a drunken stupor. He's not a smart guy, but then he's never given himself a chance. Why should he try? With the name he's saddled with, the fates are aligned against him. But during his most recent drunk, he hears the word "gold" and starts to think the fates might shine on him yet.
Ricky McBride is a neighbor of Harry's in the Desert Vista trailer park. To support his wife and young daughter, Ricky drives an ancient bus full of senior citizens from Blythe, CA down to the Mexican border so they can walk across the border to buy cheap prescription drugs. It's not much, but it's the best employment available, considering he's never applied himself much.
Frank Pacheco is an Indian, as he tells Ricky, mostly a Chemehuevi, but really a mix, plus a little Mexican. Frank rides Ricky's drug bus to pick up drugs to medicate his cancer and cholesterol-ridden body and to pick up the occasional Cuban cigar, even though he can't smoke them.
On one of their drug trips, Ricky mentions gold to Frank and Frank relates the hundred year-old story of Abraham Constance and his Big Maria Mine. When Indians tired of Constance's paranoia over the theft of his gold and his killing of anyone with knowledge of it, Frank's grandfather killed Constance, and buried him, his papers and maps somewhere in the town of Picacho, which happened now to be under the waters of the Imperial Reservoir.
When Ricky relates the story to Harry, it becomes his grail. It doesn't matter that obtaining the maps under the waters of the reservoir might be problematic. It doesn't matter that Ricky, after a bus crash that killed six people and turned him into an alcoholic and separated him from his wife and daughter, is maimed and has use of one good arm. It doesn't matter that Frank's condition has worsened so that any extended activity leaves him breathless, and that he's almost under house arrest by his domineering daughter. It doesn't matter that if they find the maps, that they'll lead to the Big Maria mine amidst the carnage and hellfire of the U.S. Army Yuma Proving Grounds. To Harry, it is his fates driving him to his life's goal and it shall be accomplished with his new friends.
And so it is that the fractured trio sets out, marching like the fife and drum line of the Revolutionary War, to obtain their riches.
The group not only has to deal with the elements, mine fields and wild animals, they also have to deal with a number of zany characters. Among them is Frank's daughter, Mercedes, intent on tracking down the people who "kidnapped" her father from the hospital. Her two large and childlike sons, who survive on the proceeds of their marijuana business, tag along to help their mom, but primarily to get their two burros back that were borrowed by the trio for their excursion.
Johnny Shaw has infused Big Maria with humor, some of it slapstick, some of it irony, and sentiment. He has his trio show emotional growth and form a bond of friendship gained from their stressful experiences. Big Maria is a story that will touch your heart and your funny bone and make you look forward to the next book by Johnny Shaw.
I decided to add one more point, a minor quibble not with the book, but the editing. There were numerous times that I noted extraneous words "to to" or "a the" that should have been fixed at some point. One or two, maybe, but it happened a dozen times or so, and shows some sloppy editing. I hope Thomas & Mercer up their game a little in that area. This is the second T&M book I've read with the same issue.
Three men set out on an unlikely quest, with no magical powers, modest intelligence, and barely a whole body between them.
Harry Schmittberger (you know what they called him in school) is a man who goes where life takes him, and that's usually into a drunken stupor. He's not a smart guy, but then he's never given himself a chance. Why should he try? With the name he's saddled with, the fates are aligned against him. But during his most recent drunk, he hears the word "gold" and starts to think the fates might shine on him yet.
Ricky McBride is a neighbor of Harry's in the Desert Vista trailer park. To support his wife and young daughter, Ricky drives an ancient bus full of senior citizens from Blythe, CA down to the Mexican border so they can walk across the border to buy cheap prescription drugs. It's not much, but it's the best employment available, considering he's never applied himself much.
Frank Pacheco is an Indian, as he tells Ricky, mostly a Chemehuevi, but really a mix, plus a little Mexican. Frank rides Ricky's drug bus to pick up drugs to medicate his cancer and cholesterol-ridden body and to pick up the occasional Cuban cigar, even though he can't smoke them.
On one of their drug trips, Ricky mentions gold to Frank and Frank relates the hundred year-old story of Abraham Constance and his Big Maria Mine. When Indians tired of Constance's paranoia over the theft of his gold and his killing of anyone with knowledge of it, Frank's grandfather killed Constance, and buried him, his papers and maps somewhere in the town of Picacho, which happened now to be under the waters of the Imperial Reservoir.
When Ricky relates the story to Harry, it becomes his grail. It doesn't matter that obtaining the maps under the waters of the reservoir might be problematic. It doesn't matter that Ricky, after a bus crash that killed six people and turned him into an alcoholic and separated him from his wife and daughter, is maimed and has use of one good arm. It doesn't matter that Frank's condition has worsened so that any extended activity leaves him breathless, and that he's almost under house arrest by his domineering daughter. It doesn't matter that if they find the maps, that they'll lead to the Big Maria mine amidst the carnage and hellfire of the U.S. Army Yuma Proving Grounds. To Harry, it is his fates driving him to his life's goal and it shall be accomplished with his new friends.
And so it is that the fractured trio sets out, marching like the fife and drum line of the Revolutionary War, to obtain their riches.
The group not only has to deal with the elements, mine fields and wild animals, they also have to deal with a number of zany characters. Among them is Frank's daughter, Mercedes, intent on tracking down the people who "kidnapped" her father from the hospital. Her two large and childlike sons, who survive on the proceeds of their marijuana business, tag along to help their mom, but primarily to get their two burros back that were borrowed by the trio for their excursion.
Johnny Shaw has infused Big Maria with humor, some of it slapstick, some of it irony, and sentiment. He has his trio show emotional growth and form a bond of friendship gained from their stressful experiences. Big Maria is a story that will touch your heart and your funny bone and make you look forward to the next book by Johnny Shaw.
I decided to add one more point, a minor quibble not with the book, but the editing. There were numerous times that I noted extraneous words "to to" or "a the" that should have been fixed at some point. One or two, maybe, but it happened a dozen times or so, and shows some sloppy editing. I hope Thomas & Mercer up their game a little in that area. This is the second T&M book I've read with the same issue.
May 16, 2013
Entertaining story about three guys whose lives are nothing to write home about and their quest to get gold out of an old mine. The fact that the mine is in the middle of an army range is one of the lesser problems they face! Not too deep but it will make folk smile (& wince). Fans of Carl Hiaasen will find the humour in this quite appealing I think.
September 8, 2012
Big Maria is a long lost gold mine and three men, Harry, Ricky, and Frank are going looking for it. Each man has his own problems that cause them to make the decision.
Harry is an ex-prison guard on workman's comp and he's trying to nurse it as long as he can. His leg has already healed, but he keeps getting the checks. Now they want him to come in for an examination before any more government checks flow his way.
Ricky has a bus he uses to ferry groups of retired people twice a day into Mexico so they can get cheap prescriptions. The folks In Mexico pay him to give them free rides. Now an accident has happened, a big elk was in the road when he came around a curve and he flipped the bus on it's bus trying to avoid the big beast. Six of his elderly passengers died in the accident and more were hurt. He's badly injured himself. But the authorities want his ass and the families of the dead as well.
Frank is a Native American and living in a retirement home. He doesn't mind being old, not a lot, but everyone wants to take care of him, keep him away from dangerous things. No one ever asks him what he wants. He was one of the passengers on Ricky's bus and knows it wasn't the kid's fault.
Harry and Ricky live in the same trailer park and Harry meets Frank through him. While they are talking, drinking, smoking a joint, The old man tells them a story his grandfather used to tell him when he was young.
He was working in the Big Maria mine around the turn of the century. The Easterner who owned the mine was convinced by the man he'd hired to run it that it had played out. But the fellow continued to mine gold from The Big Maria using blacks and Native Americans. When Frank's grandfather realized that the other workers were "disappearing," he acted first, killing the white man and burying him in the basement of his home, along with all his papers on mine activities in a metal box tightly bound with leather.
Even knowing the story had likely been embellished over the years, there were possibilities there.
One problem though. Seventy years ago, the valley the town was in had been flooded when a dam was built. The old town was underwater and would take some effort to find, let alone locate the house and dig up the box.
All they knew about the mines were that they were in the Chocolate Mountains of Arizona, a range now part of the U. S. Army Proving Grounds, an area where, not on the U. S. Army, trained for warfare, but other countries used as well. Desert ground and mountains. Sound familiar. Artillery ranges, fake Middle Eastern towns, everything needed.
In this seriocomic tale, the three men spend months planning, get into goofy situations, dodging the wrong people, come close to committing really criminal acts, all for the ultimate aim of finding that gold mine.
They use Frank's twin grandsons, hulking young fellows that have a marijuana farm, dodge his daughter, their mother, who all are scared of, as they move closer to their goal.
Until all that is left is creeping onto government land, slipping through artillery barrages, looking for that long lost mine.
I like the way Shaw keeps things moving briskly along, surprising me along the way a few times. The man can write.
Harry is an ex-prison guard on workman's comp and he's trying to nurse it as long as he can. His leg has already healed, but he keeps getting the checks. Now they want him to come in for an examination before any more government checks flow his way.
Ricky has a bus he uses to ferry groups of retired people twice a day into Mexico so they can get cheap prescriptions. The folks In Mexico pay him to give them free rides. Now an accident has happened, a big elk was in the road when he came around a curve and he flipped the bus on it's bus trying to avoid the big beast. Six of his elderly passengers died in the accident and more were hurt. He's badly injured himself. But the authorities want his ass and the families of the dead as well.
Frank is a Native American and living in a retirement home. He doesn't mind being old, not a lot, but everyone wants to take care of him, keep him away from dangerous things. No one ever asks him what he wants. He was one of the passengers on Ricky's bus and knows it wasn't the kid's fault.
Harry and Ricky live in the same trailer park and Harry meets Frank through him. While they are talking, drinking, smoking a joint, The old man tells them a story his grandfather used to tell him when he was young.
He was working in the Big Maria mine around the turn of the century. The Easterner who owned the mine was convinced by the man he'd hired to run it that it had played out. But the fellow continued to mine gold from The Big Maria using blacks and Native Americans. When Frank's grandfather realized that the other workers were "disappearing," he acted first, killing the white man and burying him in the basement of his home, along with all his papers on mine activities in a metal box tightly bound with leather.
Even knowing the story had likely been embellished over the years, there were possibilities there.
One problem though. Seventy years ago, the valley the town was in had been flooded when a dam was built. The old town was underwater and would take some effort to find, let alone locate the house and dig up the box.
All they knew about the mines were that they were in the Chocolate Mountains of Arizona, a range now part of the U. S. Army Proving Grounds, an area where, not on the U. S. Army, trained for warfare, but other countries used as well. Desert ground and mountains. Sound familiar. Artillery ranges, fake Middle Eastern towns, everything needed.
In this seriocomic tale, the three men spend months planning, get into goofy situations, dodging the wrong people, come close to committing really criminal acts, all for the ultimate aim of finding that gold mine.
They use Frank's twin grandsons, hulking young fellows that have a marijuana farm, dodge his daughter, their mother, who all are scared of, as they move closer to their goal.
Until all that is left is creeping onto government land, slipping through artillery barrages, looking for that long lost mine.
I like the way Shaw keeps things moving briskly along, surprising me along the way a few times. The man can write.
August 30, 2012
First Line: It didn't take much imagination to guess what the other kids had called Harry Schmittberger when he was a boy.
Harry Schmittberger has gotten the short end of the stick all his life. He's convinced that his name started that whole bad luck ball rolling. Frank Pacheco is Native American, old, and has cancer, but he feels that he has one more fight left in him. Ricky McBride is young, strong, and not the brightest bulb in the chandelier. All he wants is to give his beloved wife and young daughter a good life.
Calamity refuses to leave these three men alone, and they find themselves washed ashore on a desert island called No Hope. But they refuse to give up, and these three men who really have nothing in common find themselves becoming friends... and formulating a plan to bring much-deserved happiness and prosperity to them all. You see, there's a fabulous gold mine lost for over a hundred years in the Chocolate Mountains of Arizona. Sure it's right in the middle of the largest military artillery range in the world, but that shouldn't stop these three men from their objective-- should it?
This book is not for the easily offended or those who prefer not to read about people who inhabit the bottom rungs of society. But for readers who can look past the profanity, violence, and frequent mentions of various bodily fluids, there is a terrific tale of friendship to be found. Of the three main characters, I found Harry to be the hardest to digest, but even he managed to work his way past my defenses. Frank's two marijuana-growing grandsons and his daughter (who scares the spit out of everyone she meets) are excellent additions to Shaw's cast of characters.
Big Maria has a very cinematic quality to it, which isn't that unusual since the author is a playwright and screenwriter. The entire book flows smoothly, each scene vivid in my mind. Referring to a book as "cinematic" can sometimes be pejorative to me, meaning that the author really wants to turn it into a movie as quickly as possible. That's not true of this book. This is a well-crafted tale that really makes me care about what happens to Harry, Frank and Ricky. I want these three losers to have a Happily Ever After as I laugh, wince, shake my head, get teary-eyed, and laugh some more all through their misbegotten caper.
Johnny Shaw's novel may take you a bit outside your comfort zone, but the results can be very rewarding indeed.
Harry Schmittberger has gotten the short end of the stick all his life. He's convinced that his name started that whole bad luck ball rolling. Frank Pacheco is Native American, old, and has cancer, but he feels that he has one more fight left in him. Ricky McBride is young, strong, and not the brightest bulb in the chandelier. All he wants is to give his beloved wife and young daughter a good life.
Calamity refuses to leave these three men alone, and they find themselves washed ashore on a desert island called No Hope. But they refuse to give up, and these three men who really have nothing in common find themselves becoming friends... and formulating a plan to bring much-deserved happiness and prosperity to them all. You see, there's a fabulous gold mine lost for over a hundred years in the Chocolate Mountains of Arizona. Sure it's right in the middle of the largest military artillery range in the world, but that shouldn't stop these three men from their objective-- should it?
This book is not for the easily offended or those who prefer not to read about people who inhabit the bottom rungs of society. But for readers who can look past the profanity, violence, and frequent mentions of various bodily fluids, there is a terrific tale of friendship to be found. Of the three main characters, I found Harry to be the hardest to digest, but even he managed to work his way past my defenses. Frank's two marijuana-growing grandsons and his daughter (who scares the spit out of everyone she meets) are excellent additions to Shaw's cast of characters.
Big Maria has a very cinematic quality to it, which isn't that unusual since the author is a playwright and screenwriter. The entire book flows smoothly, each scene vivid in my mind. Referring to a book as "cinematic" can sometimes be pejorative to me, meaning that the author really wants to turn it into a movie as quickly as possible. That's not true of this book. This is a well-crafted tale that really makes me care about what happens to Harry, Frank and Ricky. I want these three losers to have a Happily Ever After as I laugh, wince, shake my head, get teary-eyed, and laugh some more all through their misbegotten caper.
Johnny Shaw's novel may take you a bit outside your comfort zone, but the results can be very rewarding indeed.
April 23, 2016
I listened to this one on audio and it was really great. The narrator absolutely nailed it. The tone. The pacing. The characterizations were spot on and the punch lines were delivered with skill and comedic timing.
A trio of down and out misfits band together and bond together, as they go on a quest to find a hidden treasure of gold somewhere in the Big Maria Mine. Unfortunately for them, they aren’t the sharpest knives in the drawer. Unfortunately for them, the mine they seek is smack dab in the middle of the world’s largest active artillery range.
An extremely well written and highly entertaining tale with lots of laughs and plenty of action. I really enjoyed the way the trio’s friendship developed and grew as the story progressed. It was very organic and didn’t feel forced at all. My first Johnny Shaw, but definitely not my last. 4.5 Stars rounded up to 5. Highly Recommended!
A big shout out to Kelly (and the Book Boar) for turning me on to this one with her excellent review. Thanks, Kelly!
A trio of down and out misfits band together and bond together, as they go on a quest to find a hidden treasure of gold somewhere in the Big Maria Mine. Unfortunately for them, they aren’t the sharpest knives in the drawer. Unfortunately for them, the mine they seek is smack dab in the middle of the world’s largest active artillery range.
An extremely well written and highly entertaining tale with lots of laughs and plenty of action. I really enjoyed the way the trio’s friendship developed and grew as the story progressed. It was very organic and didn’t feel forced at all. My first Johnny Shaw, but definitely not my last. 4.5 Stars rounded up to 5. Highly Recommended!
A big shout out to Kelly (and the Book Boar) for turning me on to this one with her excellent review. Thanks, Kelly!
August 31, 2020
Three men walk into a desert...
Three down on their luck men (an unemployed bus driver, a "disabled" prison guard, and a Cancer stricken Native American) are in pursuit of gold they believe lays undiscovered in an abondoned mine named Big Maria, which also happens to be in the middle of a desert. If that wasn't bad enough, it's in the midst of an army artillery range. AND chasing after them are enemies, family members, and just old fashioned bad luck. You won't learn anything from this story, but the crude humor, the outlandish horrible plot twists, and just waiting until the end to see if there really is gold or not kept me entertained, which in this current day is quite a feat. I'd recommend to my friends who still giggle at dirty phrases, but hey, I'm still friends with them in spite of that. If there's one thing that Big Maria does help you figure out: the journey of life is better with friends, even if you get nothing else from it. But a bit of gold doesn't hurt either.
Three down on their luck men (an unemployed bus driver, a "disabled" prison guard, and a Cancer stricken Native American) are in pursuit of gold they believe lays undiscovered in an abondoned mine named Big Maria, which also happens to be in the middle of a desert. If that wasn't bad enough, it's in the midst of an army artillery range. AND chasing after them are enemies, family members, and just old fashioned bad luck. You won't learn anything from this story, but the crude humor, the outlandish horrible plot twists, and just waiting until the end to see if there really is gold or not kept me entertained, which in this current day is quite a feat. I'd recommend to my friends who still giggle at dirty phrases, but hey, I'm still friends with them in spite of that. If there's one thing that Big Maria does help you figure out: the journey of life is better with friends, even if you get nothing else from it. But a bit of gold doesn't hurt either.
May 23, 2017
Full of WTF moments, profanity and wisecracks. Big Maria is a moving adventure novel with quirky and endearing characters.
January 28, 2021
This book is about three loser who would have died long ago if not for sheer dumb luck. It’s hilarious and somewhat sad. The book was a wild ride with a great ending.
August 11, 2021
Fun book, will read it again one day
November 21, 2012
synopsis taken from the back cover of the book
Somewhere is Arizona's Chocolate Mountains lie the Big Maria Mine and a wealth of gold lost for a hundred years. There's only one problem: those mountains are now the home of the US Army Proving Ground, the world's largest active artillery range. But for Harry, Ricky, and Frank, three down-at-the-heels guys with few dollars but plenty of dreams, the gold offers each of them a chance for a new life.
Are scuba diving through an underwater ghost town; facing down a hungry mountain lion;doing the hesitation waltz across a minefield; matching wits with potheads, pit bulls, and bikers; and braving the might of Uncle Sam's full arsenal worth it? With little more than a samurai sword, a severed head, and an impractical amount of optimism, these intrepid soldiers of (mis)fortune are about to find out.
why I started reading this book
Amanda asked me if I might be interested....and of course, I said "sure". I was also excited to see that Tana French, author of In the Woods and Faithful Place wrote a review for Big Maria.
my thoughts
I like loser characters, lost gold mines, impossible odds, and underwater ghost towns. But it just did not work for me in this book. The problems these guys had came one after another; bam, bam, bam. The situations were too improbable, which works if you get the humor. I mean, Harry's last name was Schmittberger, and there were pages and pages devoted to jokes about the poor guy's name. Schmittberger, Shitberger - get it? I know. Pretty bad. I almost always enjoy reading male authors as well as female authors. That is why it pains me to say that most of the humor and jokes in the book are boys' locker room stuff. No wonder the dedication page is "For the Fellas". Possibly guys would get more chuckles with the storyline. There was just too much disjointed action going on constantly. And, I felt sorry for the donkeys. The donkeys were great.
April 29, 2013
Big Maria is unique. It's the kind of fiction you want to like and wish more authors attempted. It's my first Johnny Shaw novel and I'd be inclined to read him again.
Big Maria is supposed to be funny. Big Maria is supposed to be a caper. Big Maria is supposed to ground that action in a few touching sympathetic character moments. To be honest, it's a mixed bag on delivery, but Shaw hits enough to succeed. I thought a lot of the telegraphed humor at the beginning of the book fell flat, but there were some real genuine laughs in the middle. The plot, while seemingly straightforward, seems much too complicated for its cast of losers to follow through on, so here Shaw keeps you wondering how it works out or tests your believability depending on your view (I'd lean toward the former). Where I thought Shaw did really well was in those character moments, particularly with one of the three major characters. They were an accent to the book, controlled and not overwrought with corn syrup.
There were plenty of times Big Maria read like a mid-to-low comedy flop at the box office, but Shaw's narration and cast had enough heart to put me on their side. They were unique--like their story. And that can be just as much of a gold mine as the one they're searching for in the novel.
I'd recommend Big Maria for those who don't mind a little bit of sloppy fun and readers who aren't afraid to stray from the bestseller lists.
Big Maria is supposed to be funny. Big Maria is supposed to be a caper. Big Maria is supposed to ground that action in a few touching sympathetic character moments. To be honest, it's a mixed bag on delivery, but Shaw hits enough to succeed. I thought a lot of the telegraphed humor at the beginning of the book fell flat, but there were some real genuine laughs in the middle. The plot, while seemingly straightforward, seems much too complicated for its cast of losers to follow through on, so here Shaw keeps you wondering how it works out or tests your believability depending on your view (I'd lean toward the former). Where I thought Shaw did really well was in those character moments, particularly with one of the three major characters. They were an accent to the book, controlled and not overwrought with corn syrup.
There were plenty of times Big Maria read like a mid-to-low comedy flop at the box office, but Shaw's narration and cast had enough heart to put me on their side. They were unique--like their story. And that can be just as much of a gold mine as the one they're searching for in the novel.
I'd recommend Big Maria for those who don't mind a little bit of sloppy fun and readers who aren't afraid to stray from the bestseller lists.
February 25, 2016
I'm not the kind of person who laughs at the tragedies in another person's life. I would never make fun of someone because they weren't intelligent. I don't care for low-brow humour or slap-stick comedy. That said, I couldn't help laughing at the bumbling idiots in this story. Johnny Shaw couldn't have done a better job writing it if he had've invested an extra couple of years into it.
This is the story of Ricky, Harry and Frank. Unlikely friends who were brought together by destiny and kept together with a shared dream of changing their lives by finding gold in the Big Maria mine. I'm saying no more because you really have to experience this yourself. I can't wait until you read the part about the broken leg. If you read the story already, then you know what I'm talking about. Laughed out loud, a couple of times. I'm still smiling just thinking about it. They really are idiots. Potential winners of a Darwin Award.
You should be warned that this is a book written for men. It has no romance. No science fiction. It's not young adult. It's not part of a trilogy. An incredibly refreshing change from the literary norm these days. I absolutely MUST read more of Shaw's work. Hopefully it will be as good as this was.
This is the story of Ricky, Harry and Frank. Unlikely friends who were brought together by destiny and kept together with a shared dream of changing their lives by finding gold in the Big Maria mine. I'm saying no more because you really have to experience this yourself. I can't wait until you read the part about the broken leg. If you read the story already, then you know what I'm talking about. Laughed out loud, a couple of times. I'm still smiling just thinking about it. They really are idiots. Potential winners of a Darwin Award.
You should be warned that this is a book written for men. It has no romance. No science fiction. It's not young adult. It's not part of a trilogy. An incredibly refreshing change from the literary norm these days. I absolutely MUST read more of Shaw's work. Hopefully it will be as good as this was.
June 13, 2014
First thing first. There is a lot of scatological humor, profanity, and sexual innuendo in this book, yet it is also funny and clever. Or maybe that’s what makes it funny and clever.
Three men – an old Native American, a young guy and a middle-aged guy – all more or less losers, decide to investigate a legend told to the Native American by his grandfather: that there’s gold for the taking in the Big Maria mine. Turns out that the Big Maria mine is smack dab in the middle of a vast Army ordinance missile testing range. They set out to find the gold. Others learn of their quest and take off in pursuit.
This book made me laugh out loud quite often, and the characters really are three-dimensional and ultimately sympathetic. It's a rollicking good time and also touching at the end. A great read. Highly recommended.
Three men – an old Native American, a young guy and a middle-aged guy – all more or less losers, decide to investigate a legend told to the Native American by his grandfather: that there’s gold for the taking in the Big Maria mine. Turns out that the Big Maria mine is smack dab in the middle of a vast Army ordinance missile testing range. They set out to find the gold. Others learn of their quest and take off in pursuit.
This book made me laugh out loud quite often, and the characters really are three-dimensional and ultimately sympathetic. It's a rollicking good time and also touching at the end. A great read. Highly recommended.
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