عقده مادر و روابط زن و مرد

by Robert A. Johnson, تورج رضا بنی صدر (مترجم)

کتاب حاضر، بنیادی ترین مسائل روان شناسی، علت اصلی بسیاری از اختلال های روان شناختی و پیچیدگی های موجود در روابط زن و مرد را بررسی میکند. در قلمرو روان، به جرئت میتوان عقده ی مادر را ام الامراض دانست.
مباحث مطرح شده در این کتاب، به رغم تخصصی بودن، به گونه ای طرح و تحلیل شده است که علاوه بر استادان و دانشجویان رشته روان شناسی، عموم مردم میتوانند از آن استفاده کنند، به خصوص افرادی که در فرایند رشد فردیت میخواهند فعالانه به خودشناسی و خودسازی بپزدازنند.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Mythology, Parenting, Psychoanalysis, Spirituality

167 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1994

About the author

Robert A. Johnson is a noted lecturer and Jungian analyst in private practice in San Diego, California. He has studied at the Jung Institute in Switzerland and at the Sri Aurobindo Ashram in India.

Reviews

[Miss Ravi · Rating 3 out of 5]

راوی رمان گاو خونی بود که باعث شد درباره‌ی عقد مادر کنجکاو شوم. خواب‌هایی که راوی در طول رمان می‌دید اغلب درباره‌ی زاینده‌رود و باتلاق گاوخونی بود و یا درباره بازگشت‌اش به اصفهان که همه‌ نشانه‌هایی از عقده‌ی مادر است. میلی برای بازگشتن به دایره‌ی امن، به دامان مادر و شانه خالی کردن از مسئولیت‌ها و مشکلات بزرگسالی.
به‌جز اشاره‌های رابرت جانسون به عقده‌ی مادر، تعاریفی که از آنیما و شیوه‌های بروز آن داده هم قابل‌توجه بود برای من، چون در کتاب‌هایی که از یونگ خوانده بودم کم‌تر به این جزئیات پرداخته شده بود. هر چند رابرت جانسون برخلاف معلم و استادش، کارل گوستاو یونگ علاقه‌ای به شرح و تفسیر زیاد هم ندارد که کتابش این‌قدر مختصر و کوتاه است. دلم می‌خواست خیلی بیش‌تر می‌بود.

[Suhaib · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book discusses the psychic feminine entities man has to cope with in life. From the mother, the mother complex, the sister, the daughter, the anima, Sophia, and the wife—Robert A. Johnson presents a post-Jungian understanding that encompasses all. I've found his take on the mother complex quite illuminating since Jung himself (in Four Archetypes) refrains from discussing the mother complex in men on the pretext that it is always muddled with the anima.

Anyway, I've quoted the lines that struck me most.

Here's what man and woman want from one another in relationships:

"Men and women search for such different experiences in each other! He searches for validation, warmth, gentleness to add to his already angular, direct maleness. A man’s hunger to be understood is one of the strongest in his whole character. A nod of approval, a talisman, even a word—these are the heart and soul of meaning to him."

"A woman asks very different things of masculinity. Stability, protection, form, order, clarity, freedom are her needs from her man. He so often fails to hear this and blunders about with great plans and rootless visions and thus wounds her terribly by his incomprehension."

And here's the courtship phase:

"When a young man is compelled to play Tarzan and is constantly showing off his strength or skill, he is unwittingly informing the world that he is in the grips of this terrible dragon battle of retrieving his individuality from the dungeon of his mother complex. Most such displays require an admiring fair maiden as audience, which is saying in the simplest terms that he is hoping to escape from the darkness of his mother complex and instill that energy into his anima, she who will animate his life and give him a place in the fully developed male world. The stake in this competition is life itself."

And here's what happens after they tie the knot:

"Traditionally, a man spends a month (it is called a honeymoon because it is sweet for the length of a moon) of idyllic bliss with his new wife, then begins the reality process of discovering that his wife is not his anima and is not exactly carrying his expectations of woman. To discover that one’s wife is not one’s anima (indeed, one may have married someone quite opposite to one's expectations!) is the beginning of relationship."

Meaning, only then the differentiation process can begin; and man and woman have to recalibrate the way they relate with one another. The man starts to see his anima and the human woman as two separate entities; the woman starts to see her animus and the human man.

This conclusion makes me feel better about the entire arena of relationships. Is it too much to say that it doesn't matter with whom we are as long as they reflect back to us our anima/animus? The ones who make us feel bullheaded and opinionated (these are the women) and sentimental and moody (men) at times? I believe so because only then the other person is available as a mirror that reflect back to us our unconscious potential—the inner man and the inner woman, the eloquent torchbearer and the seductive holder of keys.

[Sonya · Rating 3 out of 5]

در این کتاب از یازده عنصر زنانه دروجود مرد سخن گفته شده است که تفکیک و شناخت جایگاه آنها در رشد سالم شخصیت مرد و ارتباط موفق او با زنان تاثیر مهمی دارد.
نویسنده از روانشناسی یونگ در بیان مطالب ذکر شده استفاده کرده است
شکلهای اصلی زنانگی که مرد در زندگی اش تجربه می کند عبارتند از:
مادر، عقده مادر، کهن الگوی مادر، خواهر، آنیما، زن، دختر، سوفیا(زن دانا)، هتیرا
در این اثر مادر قدرتمند ترین شخصیت زندگی مرد عنوان شده است که نگرش او نسبت به زنان را تا پایان عمرش تعیین می کند.
تفکیک این اشکال زنانگی در وجود مرد و عدم همپوشانی آنها از ضروریات رشد ذهنی مرد است.

[Sonya · Rating 3 out of 5]

يك اثر جالب ديگر از رابرت جانسون كه در اين كتاب نويسنده به طور عمده به عقده ي مادر
‏(mother complex) مي پردازد كه در واقع يك واكنش واپس گرايانه در فرد است كه به صورت آرزوي كناره گيري و بازگشت به بهشت امن در شخص نمود پيدا مي كند.
كهن الگوي مادر و آنيما و آنيموس نيز در اين اثر مطرح شده است و لازم به ذكر است كه توضيحات مترجم نيز به صورت مجزا از متن اصلي به درك بهتر مفاهيم كمك مي كند.
مطالب اين كتاب از مباحث مفيد در بحث رشد فرديت و تماميت وجود مي باشد.
پ ن: اين اثر با ترجمه ي ديگري به نام " مرد ايده ال" توسط انتشارات بنياد فرهنگ زندگي منتشر شده است.

[Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this little book at a used book store and what a treasure I have found! 101 pages, rich with insight and introspection. I read it on the plane coming home from Seattle. Based on the teachings of Carl Jung, this book had a wealth of understanding to teach me. It's certainly no secret that the different facets of personality and personal interaction have been of major interest to me for as far back as I remember. I plan to follow it up with the He, She, We books he has written and then Inner Work: Using Dreams and Active Imagination for Personal Growth. Then, what sounds really exciting, Ecstasy: Understanding the Psychology of Joy. It appears I will be adding just about every book this man has written to my little collection. This is such a wonderful treat, to find an author and a set of books that excite me so!

[Mohammad · Rating 3 out of 5]

اژدهایی سوزاننده

از کلیشه هایی مانند اختلاف مادرشوهر و عروس تا کیوان امام و کشته شدن میلیون ها انسان در طی قرن بیستم، در طی تمام آنها اژدهایی به نام «عقده‌ی مادر» کمین کرده که گاهی از زیر زمین وجود به سطح می آید و آن موقع است هرچه را که بتواند می سوازند.
سوفیا عالی ترین شکل آنیمای (در روانشناسی یونگی هر فرد، روانی دو جنسیتی را دارد که آنیما بخش زنانه‌ی روان مرد است) در روان مرد است که به صورت خرد تجلی یافته و می‌توان گفت دورترین و متضاد ترین حالت از اختلال عقده‌ی مادر است. در بخشی از کتاب گفته شده، فرد طاقت و توان دست یابی به عالی ترین شکل سوفیا را ندارد و در صورت رخداد آن فرد را نابود خواهد کرد، و من مدام به این شعر مولانا فکر میکردم:

پرده بردار و برهنه گو که من
می‌نخسپم با صنم با پیرهن

گفتم ار عریان شود او در عیان
نه تو مانی نه کنارت نه میان

آرزو می‌خواه لیک اندازه خواه
بر نتابد کوه را یک برگ کاه

[Faezeh Sharifian · Rating 4 out of 5]

شمار مردانی که به اهمیت زنانگی در زندگی درونی و بیرونی خود واقف باشند اندک است ; در حالی که تقریبا” تمامی حسی که یک مرد در خصوص ارزشمندی ، اهمیت ، امنیت ، سرور ، رضایتمندی ، تعلق خاطر ، و شادمانی دارد ، از طبیعت زنانه ی درونی خود او ناشی می شود.

ارتباط خوب با زن درون ، مناسبات مرد با زن بیرونی زندگی اش را نیز خوب و آسان تر می کند. البته باید توجه داشت که بحث ما بر سر زنانگی در بُعد عمیق آن است و نمی توان آن را به جنبه های درونی و بیرونی تقسیم کرد ; اما قبل از آنکه به این وحدت دست یابیم ، بهتر است با دقتی تمام ، بین این جنبه های درونی و بیرونی ، تمیز قائل شویم.

[demon · Rating 2 out of 5]

the heck? lol
interesting concepts but not enough depth and a limited, straight & cis view (with very little explanation for gay men who may be reading this). it is old af tho so having no mention of trans men is understandable, but not forgiven. started it on the plane because i left my earphones in my luggage but wanted to finish it bc i’m a virgo. wasn’t really worth it - i should’ve just went to sleep on the plane 😪

[Bassmh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Robert Johnson delves into the inner and outer feminine aspects of male psychology, and attempts to differentiate them and discusses outcomes when two aspects of femininity get mixed together.

I feel like I finished the book wanting more explanation on mother-complex and mother archetype.

However, as always reading for Robert Johnson is a joy.

[Pamela Wells · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this day and age it is so important for women and men to come together with greater understanding of "Other". What is it like to walk in my partner's or lover's shoes? I have been an enormous fan of Robert Johnson for over 10 years and I whole heartedly would recommend this book and every book he has authored for both men and women. He dives deeply into the psyche and explores the big picture of the inner forces that move us to love and partnership and how we can betray ourselves and those we love if we fail to explore and learn to pay attention to our unconscious minds wise all-knowing guidance. I wish every man had this book in their reading collection and every woman can read this book to understand with greater compassion the men in their lives a little better.

[Joshua Sprinkle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Uhhhhh.... I think I have internal psychological organs now.

Give this a read if you have a strong understanding of your place in the world and have struggled intentionally with what it means to be properly oriented in the world. I understood probably 85% of this book, and it left me with a totally new set of tools for understanding and categorizing my personal story. I can easily imagine sending this book to someone unprepared and it upending their whole life because they don't have the scaffolding to build what Johnson has expertly constructed. This book was like climbing a building and being forty stories up with wind and seagulls before being able to look in the windows and then seeing yourself live different lives in each window.

A book for those who battle dragons.

[Ardalan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was certainly more interesting and more accessible than the last one I read of him (owin your shadow) but again I felt the concepts and definitions were vague and indefenetive. Otherwise I would give it 4 stars as it had some interesting points. Read the persian translation of it

[Louis C Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

How to be real as a man

The many possible expressions of the feminine in the male can lead to a much more fulfilling life, only if there is courage to explode.

[Daniel Seifert · Rating 4 out of 5]

A reinforcing text on the inner elements of the feminine in a man's life. Johnson uses a blend of myth and story, and Jungian insight in this brief yet rich portrayal of archetypal elements in men's psychic make-up (the mother complex, the mother archetype, sister, wife, anima, Sophia, Hetaira, friendship and more), which can feed into a life of value, safety and joy, radically honing (differentiating) one's capacity for friendship with both sexes.


-

[Cassian Russell · Rating 4 out of 5]

All of Johnson's books are clear and readable accounts of ideas proposed by Carl Jung. This book looks at the anima, as the sub-title explains. Simple, straight-forward, it is a good introduction to the concept. Being familiar with these ideas can be of help when living in a monastery, where the inner lives of men can make a hash of simple daily events!

[Jody · Rating 4 out of 5]

Johnson is always good. Not convinced that the anima is truly an inherent part of the psyche of men.

[Rock Conner · Rating 3 out of 5]

Either monumental or inconsequential. I don't know yet.

[Clivemichael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent, inspiring and informative. Worth reading again.

[Maxine Skuba]

I love his mind and his conclusions.

[Elan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book. Hard for me to identify with what is written however the glimpses I have of what I do understand I intuitively feel are deeply relevant.

[Kirtida Gautam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Anecdotal and insightful, Robert A. Johnson's writing doesn't disappoint. It was a delightful read.

[Hesam · Rating 3 out of 5]

بعد از کتاب شرم‌کاوی از جوزف برگو، این کتاب و مشخصا فصل مربوط به عقده‌ی مادر دومین کتاب روانشناسی بود که روانم رو تکان داد
زبان یونگین‌ها بسیار آمیخته با اسطوره و مبهم‌گویی‌های فراوان است و من راحت نمی‌تونستم بخش‌هایی از کتاب رو دنبال کنم
اما عقده‌ی مادر، شاید بهترین صورت‌بندی‌ای بود که از برخی حالات و رفتارهایم می‌توانستم سراغ بگیریم
کتاب درباره‌ی عناصر زنانگی در مرد سخن می‌گوید و عقده‌ی مادر غریب‌ترین تحلیل بود از نیرویی واپس‌گرایانه که میل به تحت مراقبت قرار گرفتن (همچون زمانی که در رحم مادر و کاملا تحت مراقبت بودیم و هیچ مسوولیتی نداشتیم، حتی حالتی که در این گونه مواقع پتو بر سر می‌کشیم و زانوها را در درون شکم خم می‌کنیم هم نمودی از حالت جنینی است) و اینرسی شدید در برابر تغییر و خروج از منطقه‌ی امن یا به تعبیر جانسون میل به شکست

کتاب ترجمه‌ی دیگری از خانم سیمین موحد از نشر بنیاد فرهنگ زندگی دارد که ناقص بود و بخش‌هایی را نداشت
و توضیحات جناب تورج‌رضا بنی‌صدر گاهی بسیار مفید و گاهی بسیار شعارگونه و روی اعصاب بود

[Chase · Rating 4 out of 5]

Revelatory

Robert Johnson goes quickly through the archetypes of the feminine, the dangers of confusing the archetypes with each other and real actual women. I regret its length, which is short. He doesn't really say how to integrate, mostly expounds on how NOT to integrate, which he lists as undersireable cross contaminations/combinations.

It's what I needed to hear. I want to read more about the Anima now.

[Adam Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book for its clear description of the feminine archetypes in men's lives, how to keep them differentiated, and the risks that arise from them contaminating each other. It's a quick and enjoyable read that I think I'll return to often - getting your understanding right of the many guises of the feminine archetype is, I believe, a path to enlightened engagement with the flesh and blood women in a man's life.

[Ivan Monckton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another re-read, after 20+ years. Johnson was always the pleasantest and easiest to follow of Jungian psychologists, and, despite the inaccurate blurb (who writes this stuff?), this one follows that form, dealing with the whole range of the feminine aspects of men. Recommended, along with every other book he wrote!

[Ashley Reavis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book discusses several feminine archetypes that men must learn to differentiate in themselves as they mature. The author also discusses the dangers of projecting these archetypes onto the flesh-and-blood women he knows as well as confusing the archetypes. It is this confusion that leads men to commit unspeakable acts against their mothers, friends, wives, and daughters.

[ar · Rating 3 out of 5]

a pretty good summary of sperate archetypes and the way they can get confused for one another, but not a lot of instructions on how to resolve said confusion. An interesting explanation for why men call boats 'she' and say 'son of a bitch' all the time. Gonna let this stuff marinate, definitely some helpful insights here

[Alice Micheletti · Rating 4 out of 5]

beautiful book, while i thought at first could be just a in-depth overview over woman archetypes in man's lifes, turns out to be the review of the true human femininity psyche.
Robert backing his points on Carl Jung just makes even more special, definitely worth it if you want to explore the Anima behind's ones mind and how femininity is the golden pot of society. :)

[bharanish reddy thmmaluru · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author caters to the hidden feminine nature of a man. Carefully elaborating and justifying seven feminine emotions, the book opens up one on how to better understand ones self and wield it to enhance outer relationships.

[Toms Felkers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good book to see the invisible processes that might be taking place under the radar in a man's life thords striving in life with women.

Focuss is on the inner battle with one's self, which is why I enjoyed this small book quite a lot