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Patience
‘The story of a Proper Girl Improperly in Love’ (as it was subtitled when it came out in America, the year after it was published in England), Patience is about the eponymous heroine, 28 year-old Patience Gathorne-Galley who has three small daughters and is, she thinks, newly pregnant. In the first chapter her brother, a devout Catholic (whereas Patience is a rather unthinking Catholic, nevertheless she undeniably is one) comes to tea to tell her that her husband Edward is being unfaithful. Patience, who is perfectly happy with her husband, her children and her St John’s Wood life, is not too upset, in fact she is more curious than anything else because a) her husband had never seemed inattentive, on the contrary, b) she is mystified at the thought of another woman going to bed with Edward out of choice.
Fortuitously (for this is a caper, a farce, a satire, something unreal – which is why coincidence is allowable) Patience meets Philip and upon going back with him to his room in Regent’s Park ‘realises that through seven years of marriage she has never understood the meaning of married love, has never had a moment of sexual pleasure, has been cheated by her husband of true happiness.’ This is what Tribune magazine told its readers, assuring them that there was ‘no melodrama – or pornography here. Patience is a truly delightful, idyllic story of a simple soul’s discovery of the beauties of sexual love and her attempts to reconcile it with her mild Catholicism and her ardent maternal love.’
Fortuitously (for this is a caper, a farce, a satire, something unreal – which is why coincidence is allowable) Patience meets Philip and upon going back with him to his room in Regent’s Park ‘realises that through seven years of marriage she has never understood the meaning of married love, has never had a moment of sexual pleasure, has been cheated by her husband of true happiness.’ This is what Tribune magazine told its readers, assuring them that there was ‘no melodrama – or pornography here. Patience is a truly delightful, idyllic story of a simple soul’s discovery of the beauties of sexual love and her attempts to reconcile it with her mild Catholicism and her ardent maternal love.’
255 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1953
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About the author
John Coates
9 books2 followersJohn Coates was born in 1912 into a Yorkshire engineering family. He went to Haileybury and then read English at Cambridge, where he spent most of his time acting and writing plays and became President of Footlights.
See: Persephone Books
See: Persephone Books
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 50 reviews
August 6, 2023
Setting: London, UK; 1950's.
Patience and Edward have been married for seven years and have three children. Whilst Patience is not exactly enamoured with her life as housewife and mother, her Catholic upbringing has led her to 'submit' to Edward's requirements and lifestyle - until she is told by her devoutly-Catholic brother Lionel that Edward is having an affair with a woman called Molly.
Following this revelation, which Patience doesn't really know how to deal with, she attends a party at her sister Helen's house where she meets Philip - and instantly falls in love with him. Patience is then tortured by her Catholic beliefs as to what to do about Edward and Philip.
Searching Edward's desk one day, she discovers that Molly is not Edward's first affair. But she also discovers that Edward's previous wife Betsy, from whom he was divorced, is alive and well and living in London. No problem, you would think - but to Patience it is a big problem as her Catholic beliefs preclude her from marrying a divorcee unless the ex-wife is deceased (which apparently Betsy was). So Patience now considers that she is not married to Edward in the eyes of her church and that their children are illegitimate! And tells Edward so, setting out to dismantle her 'marriage' and in the hope of marrying Philip....
This was a humorous and light-hearted tale, very much of its era, but which I could easily see being made into one of those Ealing comedies or as a farce on stage. This was one of the Persephone series of books which tend to feature lesser-known authors or works which I just happened to find on the shelves at the library - but it certainly didn't disappoint, indeed I was pleasantly surprised by the writing and the characters. Patience was brilliant and certainly didn't live up to her name! And then there were the excellent characters of Philip, Edward and Lionel. Overall, a highly enjoyable read - 9/10.
Patience and Edward have been married for seven years and have three children. Whilst Patience is not exactly enamoured with her life as housewife and mother, her Catholic upbringing has led her to 'submit' to Edward's requirements and lifestyle - until she is told by her devoutly-Catholic brother Lionel that Edward is having an affair with a woman called Molly.
Following this revelation, which Patience doesn't really know how to deal with, she attends a party at her sister Helen's house where she meets Philip - and instantly falls in love with him. Patience is then tortured by her Catholic beliefs as to what to do about Edward and Philip.
Searching Edward's desk one day, she discovers that Molly is not Edward's first affair. But she also discovers that Edward's previous wife Betsy, from whom he was divorced, is alive and well and living in London. No problem, you would think - but to Patience it is a big problem as her Catholic beliefs preclude her from marrying a divorcee unless the ex-wife is deceased (which apparently Betsy was). So Patience now considers that she is not married to Edward in the eyes of her church and that their children are illegitimate! And tells Edward so, setting out to dismantle her 'marriage' and in the hope of marrying Philip....
This was a humorous and light-hearted tale, very much of its era, but which I could easily see being made into one of those Ealing comedies or as a farce on stage. This was one of the Persephone series of books which tend to feature lesser-known authors or works which I just happened to find on the shelves at the library - but it certainly didn't disappoint, indeed I was pleasantly surprised by the writing and the characters. Patience was brilliant and certainly didn't live up to her name! And then there were the excellent characters of Philip, Edward and Lionel. Overall, a highly enjoyable read - 9/10.
August 22, 2016
"Then who wants you tenderly - I don’t know. Whom you talk to, whom you love, whom you laugh with. Who gossips and quarrels and teases and laughs. Who satisfies you. All those things. The daily loving comfort of it all."
What an intriguing little book! Under the guise of a comedy, John Coates gives us a thought-provoking novel dealing with the concept of marriage from both the male and female perspective, and of catholicism. We follow our heroine of the title who for all instances and purposes is happily married with 3 little children. The reality is however very different!
Patience, being incredibly naive and ignorant, is submissive in all things to her husband, meeting all his demands dutifully, even in the bedroom where she gets no pleasure nor expects to have any, having been taught by her catholic mother that the act is only for procreation. Edward treats her like a child or rather a pretty object, not deigning to really talk to her or spend time with his children since they are not boys. Things change however when Patience finds out her husband has a mistress (why would any woman want to sleep with him if they didn't have to?), and that she has been quite ignorant on many grounds, such as sexual love. Her awakenings are presented in such a frank and tasteful manner that no one reading this will be offended, most novels nowadays being a lot more explicit. No, the important element here is not the treatment but rather that the author brought to the fore the issue of women's fulfilment in a marital relationship and all that this involves. Considering that this was written in the 1950s (by a man), it is groundbreaking.
Catholicism is present but mostly for the notion of Sin and what this means. Patience is not what I would call a devout religious person, not like her brother who also treats her in a patronising way, but rather one who has been brought up in this tradition and who therefore follows it. Throughout the novel, she learns and re-evaluates her whole world several times, often in a very comical fashion, in terms of what she believes is right and wrong, and how this applies to her and her children's happiness.
This is a charming little book, often whimsical and naive, that entertains while fighting for women's rights and true conjugal relationships.
"As the door shut behind him Patience knelt down and waited to be sick. And she couldn't, as usual, help thinking that if Catholic women weren't on their knees for one reason, they were probably on them for another."
What an intriguing little book! Under the guise of a comedy, John Coates gives us a thought-provoking novel dealing with the concept of marriage from both the male and female perspective, and of catholicism. We follow our heroine of the title who for all instances and purposes is happily married with 3 little children. The reality is however very different!
Patience, being incredibly naive and ignorant, is submissive in all things to her husband, meeting all his demands dutifully, even in the bedroom where she gets no pleasure nor expects to have any, having been taught by her catholic mother that the act is only for procreation. Edward treats her like a child or rather a pretty object, not deigning to really talk to her or spend time with his children since they are not boys. Things change however when Patience finds out her husband has a mistress (why would any woman want to sleep with him if they didn't have to?), and that she has been quite ignorant on many grounds, such as sexual love. Her awakenings are presented in such a frank and tasteful manner that no one reading this will be offended, most novels nowadays being a lot more explicit. No, the important element here is not the treatment but rather that the author brought to the fore the issue of women's fulfilment in a marital relationship and all that this involves. Considering that this was written in the 1950s (by a man), it is groundbreaking.
Catholicism is present but mostly for the notion of Sin and what this means. Patience is not what I would call a devout religious person, not like her brother who also treats her in a patronising way, but rather one who has been brought up in this tradition and who therefore follows it. Throughout the novel, she learns and re-evaluates her whole world several times, often in a very comical fashion, in terms of what she believes is right and wrong, and how this applies to her and her children's happiness.
This is a charming little book, often whimsical and naive, that entertains while fighting for women's rights and true conjugal relationships.
"As the door shut behind him Patience knelt down and waited to be sick. And she couldn't, as usual, help thinking that if Catholic women weren't on their knees for one reason, they were probably on them for another."
November 27, 2016
Patience - 28 years old, and already the mother of three daughters - is an obedient and submissive wife in the upper-middle English style. She defers to her husband Edward and Nanny, and has a generalised well-being due mostly to her own beauty and wealth, her happiness in her small children and an ability to take pleasure in small things. She rarely has a serious or analytical thought, and is more or less wafting through life when she stumbles upon evidence that her husband Edward not only has a mistress - but even more inconveniently, a first wife who is still alive. As Patience is a practicing Catholic, the presence of this wife seems to indicate that her own marriage is invalid. When Patience falls in love with Philip, a concert pianist, the situation devolves into a bit of a muddle. Having just experienced love and lust for the first time, Patience is both losing her innocence and becoming more worldly - in the sense of managing men, Sin and the strictures of the Catholic church.
The tone of this novel is drawing-room comedy: light, arch, satirical. The protagonist is a bird-brained well-brought-up girl who is - perhaps - not as dumb as she seems. It all moves along at a fast clip, and was hugely readable, but didn't make much of an impression on me. Perhaps I read it in the wrong mood, but it just seemed a bit silly.
The tone of this novel is drawing-room comedy: light, arch, satirical. The protagonist is a bird-brained well-brought-up girl who is - perhaps - not as dumb as she seems. It all moves along at a fast clip, and was hugely readable, but didn't make much of an impression on me. Perhaps I read it in the wrong mood, but it just seemed a bit silly.
May 1, 2022
If I had a penny for every time I got into a book thinking it’s going to be a love story and it turned to be about Catholicism, I’d have two pennies, which isn’t much but it’s still weird it happened that many times. (The first time was The End of the Affair, in case you’re curious).
Patience is a book about faith, sex and self-discovery. These three things are indelibly linked as only sex, faith and self-discovery could be. The title’s Patience is a woman in her thirties married to the most quintessential bore. One evening she goes with her sister and brother-in-law, meets a man, falls in love, and sleeps with him. As a result, she awakens to the fact that intimacy is actually a good thing and that her husband treats her like an object rather than a person – and to top it all, he’s not even good in bed.
Unfortunately, Patience is catholic and lives in the 50s, so divorce is out of the question. Thankfully, the story gives her a very handy way out. Patience rides all over her husband to live her happily ever after with her children and a man who loves her. The whole book is a humorous vindication against all those 19th century novels which placed adultery as an almost inevitable consequence of marriage. Here the adultery is solved neatly, Patience gets revenge on her husband, who’s held accountable for having neglected her. Although Patience is naïve to the point of absurdity, and nice to the point of improbability, she is never the butt of the joke. It is the husband who is made ridiculous. The ending is a tribute to optimism, to the charming idea that it is never too late to live a happy life - even when you were born to be a 50s catholic housewife.
Patience is a book about faith, sex and self-discovery. These three things are indelibly linked as only sex, faith and self-discovery could be. The title’s Patience is a woman in her thirties married to the most quintessential bore. One evening she goes with her sister and brother-in-law, meets a man, falls in love, and sleeps with him. As a result, she awakens to the fact that intimacy is actually a good thing and that her husband treats her like an object rather than a person – and to top it all, he’s not even good in bed.
Unfortunately, Patience is catholic and lives in the 50s, so divorce is out of the question. Thankfully, the story gives her a very handy way out. Patience rides all over her husband to live her happily ever after with her children and a man who loves her. The whole book is a humorous vindication against all those 19th century novels which placed adultery as an almost inevitable consequence of marriage. Here the adultery is solved neatly, Patience gets revenge on her husband, who’s held accountable for having neglected her. Although Patience is naïve to the point of absurdity, and nice to the point of improbability, she is never the butt of the joke. It is the husband who is made ridiculous. The ending is a tribute to optimism, to the charming idea that it is never too late to live a happy life - even when you were born to be a 50s catholic housewife.
August 18, 2021
Patience is a good Catholic, married to Edward, with 3 beloved (by her, at least) daughters. She is quite happy with her life, though she could do without Edwards nightly attentions, but overall feels she has nothing much to complain about; until her sanctimonious brother comes to tell her that Edward is having an affair and she must do something about it, perhaps she hasn't been submitting enough.She feels she would be quite happy to share Edward and doesn't seem too bothered by the situation, but then she meets Phillip, who makes her go week at the knees.
I loved reading about Patience's dilemma, she is a delightful character. As is her sister, and it was wonderful to see her awakening and realising what she had been missing out of all that time. Interesting to see how she manages to right the wrong done to her and go after a happy ending.
I loved reading about Patience's dilemma, she is a delightful character. As is her sister, and it was wonderful to see her awakening and realising what she had been missing out of all that time. Interesting to see how she manages to right the wrong done to her and go after a happy ending.
April 3, 2014
Patience is described by Persephone books as being “a sophisticated and delightful novel” it is also a gentle little comedy. I’m not sure I would use the word sophisticated myself – but I do think there is a surprising sharpness to this novel which lies submerged beneath the gentle humour.
patience2Patience Gathorne-Galley is a perfect dutiful 1950’s wife, except for the fact she has only managed to produced three adorable little blonde haired girls, rather than the preferred son her husband so longs for. It is hard for women today to conceive of a time when women went from their parents’ home to their husband’s home, wholly naïve and almost totally unprepared.
For some women, maybe many women this was still the case as recently as the 1950’s. Patience, an attractive twenty eight year old, has been married to a man in his forties for seven years as the novel opens, a marriage which was practically arranged for her by her mother. Her knowledge and understanding of sex – extends only to her dutiful, Catholic submission to her husband, which she uses to plan the meals for the following day. Patience is a Catholic, her husband is not. Patience is true to her faith, she believes in Sin and hell and damnation, but in the way an unquestioning child might – there is no fervour, no religious zeal. Her brother Lionel – a truly horrid man – has enough religious zeal for both of them, he worries about Sin, sees it in everyone, he appears unconcerned that his own wife has chosen to retire permanently to a cloistered religious retreat, and no wonder! Patience and Lionel’s sister, Helen, is divorced, now married to an Anglican solicitor. Lionel refers to Helen’s second husband as her paramour. Dear Patience – and she is a dear although I may have wanted to shake her slightly once or twice – divides her world into those she loves – and the rest of the people who she likes. Patience loves her sister, Helen, her darling babies Star, Sue and Sal, while her husband Edward it seems fits into the other group.
When Lionel almost gleefully tells Patience of the terrible Sin he has uncovered; that he has seen her husband coming out of a hotel with another woman, her reaction is surprising. Patience is puzzled why any woman would want to go to bed with Edward when she didn’t have to. Patience begins to hope that Edward’s mystery woman might take over that side of things for her – and leave her to peacefully adoring her babies. However almost immediately, at a dinner party given by her sister and brother-in-law Patience meets Philip, and falls madly in love, and in lust. Patience’s sexual awakening after seven years of marriage and three children is hilariously unlikely – and yet the novel is so engaging and Patience herself so sweet that despite much tutting and head shaking and more than a wry smile or two – I couldn’t help but thoroughly enjoy it.
“She understood in a sort of flash of revelation almost everything Lionel had ever told her. It really was different getting into bed with someone who wasn’t your husband. And no wonder Lionel was so anxious no one should begin, because once having begun, and knowing how lovely it was, one would find it very difficult to stop.”
I wasn’t sure I quite believed the speed with which Patience fell for Philip the concert pianist, good and sweet though he undoubtedly is. Within about three days Patience has slept with Philip several times and is considering whether she too can divorce her husband and live in Sin with another man. However things take a surprising turn when Patience goes through her husband’s desk looking for evidence of his affair. Patience shows a staggering naivety in English marriage law, and what the state consider lawfully married as opposed to what the Church consider lawfully married.
Under gentle instruction by her sister and Solicitor brother-in-law, Patience turns the tables on dear bottom patting Edward, allowing him to make all the mistakes she needs him to, in order to end their marriage legally. Patience learns that she possesses an extraordinary power, that she had previously been unaware of, sex. All this is deliciously wicked, and it is no wonder the novel was banned in Ireland.
There is a slightly selfish naivety about Patience brought about by her childlike inability to recognise her responsibility to others. She mostly only considers herself and her babies, she loves Philip but there seems only little understanding for the enormity of the upheaval to his life.
This novel certainly satirises dutiful, Catholic marriage, and the fact that this novel was written by a man was a constant surprise to me. There were moments when the cynic in me wondered whether the character of a dutiful innocent young wife was merely a male fantasy of what one was – but in the end decided that was rather unfair. John Coates writing is deceptively sharp, with a surprisingly cynical twist right at the end which I rather appreciated. The tone of the novel is a deceptively simple one; Patience’s voice is perfectly delightful, childlike whimsy. Despite its few flaws I really thoroughly enjoyed this surprising little novel and I would really like to read more by this writer, I think he must have had more to say about the society in which he lived.
patience2Patience Gathorne-Galley is a perfect dutiful 1950’s wife, except for the fact she has only managed to produced three adorable little blonde haired girls, rather than the preferred son her husband so longs for. It is hard for women today to conceive of a time when women went from their parents’ home to their husband’s home, wholly naïve and almost totally unprepared.
For some women, maybe many women this was still the case as recently as the 1950’s. Patience, an attractive twenty eight year old, has been married to a man in his forties for seven years as the novel opens, a marriage which was practically arranged for her by her mother. Her knowledge and understanding of sex – extends only to her dutiful, Catholic submission to her husband, which she uses to plan the meals for the following day. Patience is a Catholic, her husband is not. Patience is true to her faith, she believes in Sin and hell and damnation, but in the way an unquestioning child might – there is no fervour, no religious zeal. Her brother Lionel – a truly horrid man – has enough religious zeal for both of them, he worries about Sin, sees it in everyone, he appears unconcerned that his own wife has chosen to retire permanently to a cloistered religious retreat, and no wonder! Patience and Lionel’s sister, Helen, is divorced, now married to an Anglican solicitor. Lionel refers to Helen’s second husband as her paramour. Dear Patience – and she is a dear although I may have wanted to shake her slightly once or twice – divides her world into those she loves – and the rest of the people who she likes. Patience loves her sister, Helen, her darling babies Star, Sue and Sal, while her husband Edward it seems fits into the other group.
When Lionel almost gleefully tells Patience of the terrible Sin he has uncovered; that he has seen her husband coming out of a hotel with another woman, her reaction is surprising. Patience is puzzled why any woman would want to go to bed with Edward when she didn’t have to. Patience begins to hope that Edward’s mystery woman might take over that side of things for her – and leave her to peacefully adoring her babies. However almost immediately, at a dinner party given by her sister and brother-in-law Patience meets Philip, and falls madly in love, and in lust. Patience’s sexual awakening after seven years of marriage and three children is hilariously unlikely – and yet the novel is so engaging and Patience herself so sweet that despite much tutting and head shaking and more than a wry smile or two – I couldn’t help but thoroughly enjoy it.
“She understood in a sort of flash of revelation almost everything Lionel had ever told her. It really was different getting into bed with someone who wasn’t your husband. And no wonder Lionel was so anxious no one should begin, because once having begun, and knowing how lovely it was, one would find it very difficult to stop.”
I wasn’t sure I quite believed the speed with which Patience fell for Philip the concert pianist, good and sweet though he undoubtedly is. Within about three days Patience has slept with Philip several times and is considering whether she too can divorce her husband and live in Sin with another man. However things take a surprising turn when Patience goes through her husband’s desk looking for evidence of his affair. Patience shows a staggering naivety in English marriage law, and what the state consider lawfully married as opposed to what the Church consider lawfully married.
Under gentle instruction by her sister and Solicitor brother-in-law, Patience turns the tables on dear bottom patting Edward, allowing him to make all the mistakes she needs him to, in order to end their marriage legally. Patience learns that she possesses an extraordinary power, that she had previously been unaware of, sex. All this is deliciously wicked, and it is no wonder the novel was banned in Ireland.
There is a slightly selfish naivety about Patience brought about by her childlike inability to recognise her responsibility to others. She mostly only considers herself and her babies, she loves Philip but there seems only little understanding for the enormity of the upheaval to his life.
This novel certainly satirises dutiful, Catholic marriage, and the fact that this novel was written by a man was a constant surprise to me. There were moments when the cynic in me wondered whether the character of a dutiful innocent young wife was merely a male fantasy of what one was – but in the end decided that was rather unfair. John Coates writing is deceptively sharp, with a surprisingly cynical twist right at the end which I rather appreciated. The tone of the novel is a deceptively simple one; Patience’s voice is perfectly delightful, childlike whimsy. Despite its few flaws I really thoroughly enjoyed this surprising little novel and I would really like to read more by this writer, I think he must have had more to say about the society in which he lived.
August 12, 2021
Delightful story about a woman who discovers the true meaning of love and physical pleasure after 7 years of marriage to her selfish and patronising husband.
Patience Gathorne-Galley is a devout, if rather confused, Catholic and has based her marriage on the principle of submission to her husband Edward. She has three young children whom she adores, possibly another baby on the way, and a comfortable if rather dull existence. Then her brother Lionel brings news that throws all her previous assumptions into doubt, and leads her on a series of discoveries which lead to a new Patience.
This is a joyful story, bubbling with fun and life. Patience is kind, likeable, and honest, and her innocence stays just on the right side of ridiculous. The book gently mocks the intransigence of Catholics who focus on the rules, like Lionel, but sympathetic to Patience’s more human form of religion, based on an honest conscience. It also offers a slice of social history from the times of the old Divorce laws, and the life and loves of the middle class.
I thoroughly enjoyed this surprising gem of a book, which brought a smile to my face, and made me wish I was part of Patience’s group of cherished loved ones.
Patience Gathorne-Galley is a devout, if rather confused, Catholic and has based her marriage on the principle of submission to her husband Edward. She has three young children whom she adores, possibly another baby on the way, and a comfortable if rather dull existence. Then her brother Lionel brings news that throws all her previous assumptions into doubt, and leads her on a series of discoveries which lead to a new Patience.
This is a joyful story, bubbling with fun and life. Patience is kind, likeable, and honest, and her innocence stays just on the right side of ridiculous. The book gently mocks the intransigence of Catholics who focus on the rules, like Lionel, but sympathetic to Patience’s more human form of religion, based on an honest conscience. It also offers a slice of social history from the times of the old Divorce laws, and the life and loves of the middle class.
I thoroughly enjoyed this surprising gem of a book, which brought a smile to my face, and made me wish I was part of Patience’s group of cherished loved ones.
February 8, 2023
The most astonishing feature of this book is that it was written by a man; not only does the story revolve entirely around the eponymous heroine, it is told entirely from a woman’s point of view — emotionally, psychologically and physically. A highly amusing bedroom farce, it’s also an engaging story of an almost impossibly naïve girl (I call her that advisedly, even though she is 28 years old and seven years married) who discovers how to become a woman. And a highly successful one at that.
Once again, the Persephone people have unearthed a delightful little treasure — bedtime reading in the best sense of that genre.
Once again, the Persephone people have unearthed a delightful little treasure — bedtime reading in the best sense of that genre.
January 1, 2013
I really enjoyed this light-hearted and funny story of a naive wife and mother who discovers that her husband is having an affair, but doesn't mind because it gives her the chance to explore an awakening of her own.
I don't think it's meant to be realistic. Everything's far too 'providential' and exaggerated. Just an enjoyable romp.
I don't think it's meant to be realistic. Everything's far too 'providential' and exaggerated. Just an enjoyable romp.
December 23, 2015
The subtitle is "A Proper Girl Improperly in Love" so I obviously loved this.
August 15, 2022
3.5🌟 It’s strange to realize that I loved the characters in this book, but not so much the story. This is my second book by John Coates and I actually had the opposite opinion with his book, Here Today.
Patience is so innocent and naive, but also very loving and deeply in touch with her feelings/sensations. I loved the way she adored her babies and how she usually had such a positive outlook on the world and of other people. But, on the other hand, her thoughts on her religion frustrated me very much.
As a former Catholic myself, I thought I would feel more sympathy towards her and her love triangle crisis. But, I found myself just wishing she would leave the burdensome relationship she was in and go for love and affection.
If the plot was less frustrating, I probably would have given this book 4 or 4.5🌟 because there were so many characters to love (Patience, Helen, the babies, Phillip, etc). It was even fun to dislike the unlikable ones!
Sadly, I couldn’t get past the overdone religious motivations. I have to say that the ending was very well done, even though it was slightly bittersweet. I may give this another read in the future.
Patience is so innocent and naive, but also very loving and deeply in touch with her feelings/sensations. I loved the way she adored her babies and how she usually had such a positive outlook on the world and of other people. But, on the other hand, her thoughts on her religion frustrated me very much.
As a former Catholic myself, I thought I would feel more sympathy towards her and her love triangle crisis. But, I found myself just wishing she would leave the burdensome relationship she was in and go for love and affection.
If the plot was less frustrating, I probably would have given this book 4 or 4.5🌟 because there were so many characters to love (Patience, Helen, the babies, Phillip, etc). It was even fun to dislike the unlikable ones!
Sadly, I couldn’t get past the overdone religious motivations. I have to say that the ending was very well done, even though it was slightly bittersweet. I may give this another read in the future.
June 15, 2020
I was charmed and amused by Patience but I didn’t really care for her. I found her naivety cartoonish, really over the top but I’m not sure if that was because this book was written in the 1950’s, or because the author is male. I very much appreciated the English humor and I just delighted in reading a Persephone novel. I admit I did laugh often and even though it’s been a few days, I’m still thinking about this book.
February 6, 2022
A hilarious Oscar Wilde-like gem. If you take it at face value, it's a bit sexist and extremely sacrilegious. However, as a satirical farce, it's a masterpiece! Immediately drawn in, I consumed it in one sitting, prompted to numerous bouts of laughter.
January 2, 2023
Not your typical Persephone book...but I was here for it. So much to unpack for my first book fo the year.
October 18, 2012
I was intrigued by this book. The summer before last, when I heard Nicola Beauman speak at my library, she mentioned that she was delighted she had found a comedy that would bring something new, something that she felt was missing from the Persephone list. It was too early for her to share any of the details, but I’m quite sure that this is it.
It’s the story of 28 year-old Patience Gathorne-Galley. She’s a good Catholic girl, independently wealthy with a husband, Edward, and three little girls, Star, Sue and Sal.
But Patience is an innocent, hopelessly naive.
She relies on her siblings for advice. Lionel is a good devout Catholic, whose wife’s desertion hasn’t shaken his faith one iota. Helen, on the other hand, is a lapsed Catholic, living in sin with an Anglican solicitor.
Ah yes, SIN. That word is writ large in all their lives. Lionel takes the avoidance of sin terribly seriously. Helen is rather more sanguine, but she hasn’t completely lost the values she was raised with. And Patience knew that it was a very bad thing that she really should avoid.
She really was that naive, a young woman passed directly from her parents to her husband with no chance at all to look at the world around her.
She was surprised when Lionel told her that Edward had a mistress. He was a good, reliable husband, and why ever would a woman want to go to bed with a man when it wasn’t her marital duty?
Yes, there was a story waiting to happen here. And happen it did.
Patience met a man. Phillip. She fell in love. And in lust.
“She understood in a sort of flash of revelation almost everything Lionel had ever told her. It really was different getting into bed with someone who wasn’t your husband. And no wonder Lionel was so anxious no one should begin, because once having begun, and knowing how lovely it was, one would find it very difficult to stop.”
When she confided in Helen her sister assured her that it wasn’t just the fact that Phillip wasn’t her husband that made the difference. And then Patience knew that her future had to be spent with Phillip and her babies. But however could she disentangle herself from Edward and not fall into sin?
Patience’s attempts to do that, to reach her happy ending, make this a charming comedy of manners It sails along beautifully, with lovely dialogue batted back and forth by beautifully drawn characters.
I could see them and I could hear their voices. I could imagine actors on a stage having wonderful fun with this material too.
John Coates captures the feminine psyche extraordinarily well. I am inclined to believe that he was brought up with sisters, and that maybe he had a colourful aunt or two. But that’s just speculation, so let’s just say he understands women.
He writes beautifully too, with a light touch, with a lovely turn of phrase, and with just the right amount of wit.
I found that I could even forgive Patience’s habit of addressing everyone as ‘dear!’
Patience’s faith, and the problems created by the differences between church and secular law, provided a serious thread that counterbalanced the comedy and the romance quite beautifully.
There were some very nice twists and turns along the way. Moments of comedy and moments of joy deftly handled. I turned the pages quickly and stayed up rather later than I had planned because I so wanted to know what was going to happen.
And yet my feelings were mixed. There were times when I found Patience irksome. It is one thing to be a simple soul, but even the simplest souls have some awareness, some concern for the feelings of others. But Patience didn’t. she was utterly oblivious, thinking only of what she wanted.
It was wonderful that her discovery of love and passion swept away everything, save her maternal love, but I found it hard to believe that any grown woman could be quite so insensitive to other people’s feelings.
Maybe that says more about me than the book. I’ve often been told that I’m too serious, and that I over-think things.
But I’m afraid that near the end, when Patience said that she had grown up and all that it meant that she was more forceful in getting her own way I was bitterly disappointed.
I just needed some little acknowledgement that she might have been thoughtless, or some little sign that she had sympathy or understanding for others. But it never came. And an afterword revealed that Patience never really grew up at all.
Seeing love conquer all was delightful, and the way that the story played out was a joy.
But, to me, this looks like a flawed gem. I saw the beauty and the flaws, but I suspect some will see only the beauty and others will see only the flaws.
I’d like to read it again soon, because I don’t rule out feeling differently on a different day, and I’m going to be very, very curious to find out how other readers react when they meet Patience.
It’s the story of 28 year-old Patience Gathorne-Galley. She’s a good Catholic girl, independently wealthy with a husband, Edward, and three little girls, Star, Sue and Sal.
But Patience is an innocent, hopelessly naive.
She relies on her siblings for advice. Lionel is a good devout Catholic, whose wife’s desertion hasn’t shaken his faith one iota. Helen, on the other hand, is a lapsed Catholic, living in sin with an Anglican solicitor.
Ah yes, SIN. That word is writ large in all their lives. Lionel takes the avoidance of sin terribly seriously. Helen is rather more sanguine, but she hasn’t completely lost the values she was raised with. And Patience knew that it was a very bad thing that she really should avoid.
She really was that naive, a young woman passed directly from her parents to her husband with no chance at all to look at the world around her.
She was surprised when Lionel told her that Edward had a mistress. He was a good, reliable husband, and why ever would a woman want to go to bed with a man when it wasn’t her marital duty?
Yes, there was a story waiting to happen here. And happen it did.
Patience met a man. Phillip. She fell in love. And in lust.
“She understood in a sort of flash of revelation almost everything Lionel had ever told her. It really was different getting into bed with someone who wasn’t your husband. And no wonder Lionel was so anxious no one should begin, because once having begun, and knowing how lovely it was, one would find it very difficult to stop.”
When she confided in Helen her sister assured her that it wasn’t just the fact that Phillip wasn’t her husband that made the difference. And then Patience knew that her future had to be spent with Phillip and her babies. But however could she disentangle herself from Edward and not fall into sin?
Patience’s attempts to do that, to reach her happy ending, make this a charming comedy of manners It sails along beautifully, with lovely dialogue batted back and forth by beautifully drawn characters.
I could see them and I could hear their voices. I could imagine actors on a stage having wonderful fun with this material too.
John Coates captures the feminine psyche extraordinarily well. I am inclined to believe that he was brought up with sisters, and that maybe he had a colourful aunt or two. But that’s just speculation, so let’s just say he understands women.
He writes beautifully too, with a light touch, with a lovely turn of phrase, and with just the right amount of wit.
I found that I could even forgive Patience’s habit of addressing everyone as ‘dear!’
Patience’s faith, and the problems created by the differences between church and secular law, provided a serious thread that counterbalanced the comedy and the romance quite beautifully.
There were some very nice twists and turns along the way. Moments of comedy and moments of joy deftly handled. I turned the pages quickly and stayed up rather later than I had planned because I so wanted to know what was going to happen.
And yet my feelings were mixed. There were times when I found Patience irksome. It is one thing to be a simple soul, but even the simplest souls have some awareness, some concern for the feelings of others. But Patience didn’t. she was utterly oblivious, thinking only of what she wanted.
It was wonderful that her discovery of love and passion swept away everything, save her maternal love, but I found it hard to believe that any grown woman could be quite so insensitive to other people’s feelings.
Maybe that says more about me than the book. I’ve often been told that I’m too serious, and that I over-think things.
But I’m afraid that near the end, when Patience said that she had grown up and all that it meant that she was more forceful in getting her own way I was bitterly disappointed.
I just needed some little acknowledgement that she might have been thoughtless, or some little sign that she had sympathy or understanding for others. But it never came. And an afterword revealed that Patience never really grew up at all.
Seeing love conquer all was delightful, and the way that the story played out was a joy.
But, to me, this looks like a flawed gem. I saw the beauty and the flaws, but I suspect some will see only the beauty and others will see only the flaws.
I’d like to read it again soon, because I don’t rule out feeling differently on a different day, and I’m going to be very, very curious to find out how other readers react when they meet Patience.
May 10, 2024
Finding sexual pleasure. Delightfully comedic.
August 4, 2022
I had very mixed feelings about this book. On the one hand, there are some beautiful descriptions and funny tongue-in-cheek satire. It was also an easy read, with wit and charm and an almost fairytale-like quality. On the other hand, it was repetitive and at times utterly boring. It contains some very unbelievable characters and a heroine too stupid to live. The whole Catholic plot was foreign to me, and I kept wondering a. Why this book was written and b. Who it was written for. The end twist was disappointing and lowered my rating one star. I understand why Persephone chose to publish this book, since it’s an unique contribution to the list of typical middlebrow midcentury novels. It was an interesting but bland read.
May 16, 2021
A re-read for me now, I thought it even funnier than when I first read it. Oates managed to capture his female characters in a very realistic way. It discusses Patience's beliefs many times, but always in a light-hearted manner. The main character's optimism in all the situations made me smile. A heartwarming book which will make you have a giggling fit by times.
Do buy books at Persephone Books. They will have a hard time when Brexit hits.
Do buy books at Persephone Books. They will have a hard time when Brexit hits.
May 9, 2015
I loved this book .
Patience is Catholic and married to Edward.
She is a dutiful wife and looks after her three little girls.
Then there is sin and when Patience finds out that Edward has a mistress she finds through circumstances that she isn't in fact married to Edward.
Beautifully written and how life can change when one looks on life differently.
Patience is Catholic and married to Edward.
She is a dutiful wife and looks after her three little girls.
Then there is sin and when Patience finds out that Edward has a mistress she finds through circumstances that she isn't in fact married to Edward.
Beautifully written and how life can change when one looks on life differently.
February 18, 2020
No summary of the plot of this book can give even an inkling of its charm. Patience is a strict Catholic who has produced 3 daughters in less than 7 years of marriage to Edward, an older man chosen for her by her mother even though he is not a Catholic. The novel starts when Patience's repressed brother Lionel informs her that Edward has a mistress. On the rebound from this shattering revelation, Patience sleeps with a penniless musician, Philip, with whom she has her first orgasm ever. Discovering all at once what love and sex are all about, Patience decides to get rid of Edward and make a life with Philip, a daunting prospect for an observing Catholic. However, when ransacking Edward's desk for evidence of his affair, she finds proof that his first wife is still alive. Therefore, although Edward was legally divorced when he married her, in the eyes of the Catholic Church he should not have married her. There is never any doubt of where this fairytale is going: of course Patience finds true happiness after managing to push Edward in the arms of his mistress without him suspecting that she has a lover of her own. What makes this novel utterly delightful to read is the author's lightness of touch. Patience's sexual awakening and gradual reconciliation of her religion with her newly gained agency are described with gentle humor. Patience gets wise to the ways of men without losing anything of her sweetness and innocence in the best sense of the word. In the end, although she reassesses a number of the tenets of her religion, she keeps her faith in a loving God intact. Deceptively simple and in an odd way timeless.
December 10, 2020
I really desperately wanted to make this a 5 star but it just didn't quite make it. I did utterly enjoy this and found the book really endearing, but I just didn't connect with the characters as much as the previous Persephone books. I did really enjoy the story and I can only imagine that a book about sex, and about a Catholic woman having an affair and deciding to leave her husband, would have completely shocked readers in 1953.
The reason that it was slightly marked down was overly saccharin relationship between Patience and Philip and the sheer speed of 'love at first sigh' and lack of religious angst which was really subtle. I would have also enjoyed spending time with the children as there was really only 1 scene involving chocolate. There is also a heavy religious bent and interesting descriptions of Sin - it was not something that I can in any way relate to but I understand it's place in the book and I found some of the passages involving the brother very comedic.
Overall this was a very enjoyable read.
The reason that it was slightly marked down was overly saccharin relationship between Patience and Philip and the sheer speed of 'love at first sigh' and lack of religious angst which was really subtle. I would have also enjoyed spending time with the children as there was really only 1 scene involving chocolate. There is also a heavy religious bent and interesting descriptions of Sin - it was not something that I can in any way relate to but I understand it's place in the book and I found some of the passages involving the brother very comedic.
Overall this was a very enjoyable read.
September 4, 2025
Patience is as naive as you can get. She’s married to a man who pats her on the bottom and has unsatisfying relations with her. But she doesn’t mind so much since she’s in love with her young children, has a close relationship with her sister, and is doing what she’s been told is appropriate for a Catholic.
Then she meets a man and a few hours later (surprisingly) has very pleasurable sex with him, and then has to figure out what to do next.
Patience is so matter of fact and the writing of her is clever, insightful, and drole throughout, if somewhat hard to believe at times. I had hoped her grappling with faith would be more developed but as she’s culturally Catholic and not particularly spiritually invested (which also seemed to be a comment on the Catholic complex) that was just not part of the book.
This is a gem and so glad Persephone Books is resurrecting forgotten titles like this one.
Then she meets a man and a few hours later (surprisingly) has very pleasurable sex with him, and then has to figure out what to do next.
Patience is so matter of fact and the writing of her is clever, insightful, and drole throughout, if somewhat hard to believe at times. I had hoped her grappling with faith would be more developed but as she’s culturally Catholic and not particularly spiritually invested (which also seemed to be a comment on the Catholic complex) that was just not part of the book.
This is a gem and so glad Persephone Books is resurrecting forgotten titles like this one.
August 3, 2017
What a powerful indictment of religion's singular ability to impede us from being fully human, from experiencing our freedom and the joy of incarnation. The protagonist, Patience, is surprised by her sudden ability to experience human love in an otherwise comfortable but passionless life. She deems its pursuit to be worth the possible scorn of family and friends. She is fortunate to have a sister who had provided a model for self realization --and the financial means to facilitate a new life.
Patience doesn't precisely lose her Catholic faith, but rather "in the meaning of innocence and virginity and Sin; and in the importance of behaving as she was meant to behave." In so doing, she becomes more fully herself, which is what we are all meant to do in the short time allotted us.
Patience doesn't precisely lose her Catholic faith, but rather "in the meaning of innocence and virginity and Sin; and in the importance of behaving as she was meant to behave." In so doing, she becomes more fully herself, which is what we are all meant to do in the short time allotted us.
April 28, 2024
2.5 rounded up. Meh, not a fave of Persephone. Patience was pretty dumb tbh and Philip was so one-dimensional it was infuriating. I was all for Patience leaving a bad marriage but the fact they shook up their whole lives after one night together was absurd, especially given Philip seemed to be able to only get out three words “I love you” while knowing nothing about her. When she took the kids to his house two nights later I almost vomed. I was happy that she came into her power but having it more drawn out would have been more believable. I suppose that they make it in the end makes it better. Three stars only because I thought some lines were quite funny and I did enjoy the message of the moral reckoning and catholic mind-racing though it got tiresome after a bit.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 7, 2025
This book is intended as a farce but I just found it silly. Someone commented that they were surprised it was written by a man because it was written from a female point of view but none of the characters had any depth and I didn’t find much about Patience authentic apart from her love of her children and the natural world. She is privileged and self centred, doesn’t think she should have to work anything out for herself and is spiteful in the way she tells Molly about the gift she refused. The book mocks those who hypocritically focus on sexual sin as the sin that matters which seems fair but Patience’s religion seems little more than superstition or pick and mix, not faith. Had Patience really signed loads of papers she didn’t bother to read she would have ended up not owning anything.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 25, 2022
SPOILERS!
I really didn't like this book. I am sorry to say that the writer, a man, has invented a woman who is halfway to being an imbecile, and calls everyone "dear" and harps on about her "babies" (small children) and has two other subjects, the rules of her Catholic religion and how wonderful sex is with her lover! In his imagination she's a darling.
It dates from the 1950s and probably at that time most men did think women stupid, but we don't need to be reminded of that now.
I hurried through it because I have been lent it by a friend. I am very disappointed that Persephone Books think this one's OK. It's awful.
I really didn't like this book. I am sorry to say that the writer, a man, has invented a woman who is halfway to being an imbecile, and calls everyone "dear" and harps on about her "babies" (small children) and has two other subjects, the rules of her Catholic religion and how wonderful sex is with her lover! In his imagination she's a darling.
It dates from the 1950s and probably at that time most men did think women stupid, but we don't need to be reminded of that now.
I hurried through it because I have been lent it by a friend. I am very disappointed that Persephone Books think this one's OK. It's awful.
October 23, 2022
This is 2.5 stars rather than just two. I read it over 2 days as it did keep the pages turning but more so because I kept waiting for a bit of oomph and for the characters to stop with the dialogue! The last chapter was definitely the best. A basic narrative to conclude the story with no dialogue. I got sick of quotation marks! The story is interesting. It seems quite spicy for the time it was written, which was rather surprising. An ok book that would definitely appeal to some. That’s the best I can say for it.
December 4, 2023
I purchased this books only because it was banned in Ireland in the 1950’s (just loved to read a banned book!) And I can see why it was banned. I wouldn’t call it anti-Catholic, but it sure questions things. I found this to be a hoot, and a bit saucy for 1953. On one hand it is a bit dated due to the sexual revolution of the 1960’s, but on the other hand, I know there are still people out there who get married, whether in love or not, because it’s “their duty.”
March 13, 2020
I picked this book up in London and couldn't have been more pleased. The protagonist is positively endearing and her stream of thought is charming. The book also has a delightful balance between innocence (even naiveté) and romantic intimacy - refreshing perspective that the two aren't mutually exclusive. If you can get your hands on Patience, it's a fun little read.
December 17, 2020
I found this a little frustrating at the start as the main character Patience felt like a bit of a wet blanket, however she redeems herself as the book develops and she wakes up to real life. I loved the second half of the book when she takes control of her life.
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