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Hannah's Children: The Women Quietly Defying the Birth Dearth
A portrait of America's most interesting yet overlooked women.
In the midst of a historic "birth dearth," why do some 5 percent of American women choose to defy the demographic norm by bearing five or more children? Hannah’s Children is a compelling portrait of these overlooked but fascinating mothers who, like the biblical Hannah, see their children as their purpose, their contribution, and their greatest blessing.
The social scientist Catherine Pakaluk, herself the mother of eight, traveled across the United States and interviewed fifty-five college-educated women who were raising five or more children. Through open-ended questions, she sought to understand who these women are, why and when they chose to have a large family, and what this choice means for them, their families, and the nation.
Hannah’s Children is more than interesting stories of extraordinary women. It presents information that is urgently relevant for the future of American prosperity. Many countries have experimented with aggressively pro-natalist public policies, and all of them have failed. Pakaluk finds that the quantitative methods to which the social sciences limit themselves overlook important questions of meaning and identity in their inquiries into fertility rates. Her book is a pathbreaking foray into questions of purpose, religion, transcendence, healing, and growth—questions that ought to inform economic inquiry in the future.
In the midst of a historic "birth dearth," why do some 5 percent of American women choose to defy the demographic norm by bearing five or more children? Hannah’s Children is a compelling portrait of these overlooked but fascinating mothers who, like the biblical Hannah, see their children as their purpose, their contribution, and their greatest blessing.
The social scientist Catherine Pakaluk, herself the mother of eight, traveled across the United States and interviewed fifty-five college-educated women who were raising five or more children. Through open-ended questions, she sought to understand who these women are, why and when they chose to have a large family, and what this choice means for them, their families, and the nation.
Hannah’s Children is more than interesting stories of extraordinary women. It presents information that is urgently relevant for the future of American prosperity. Many countries have experimented with aggressively pro-natalist public policies, and all of them have failed. Pakaluk finds that the quantitative methods to which the social sciences limit themselves overlook important questions of meaning and identity in their inquiries into fertility rates. Her book is a pathbreaking foray into questions of purpose, religion, transcendence, healing, and growth—questions that ought to inform economic inquiry in the future.
400 pages, Hardcover
First published March 19, 2024
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 642 reviews
November 11, 2024
I was reluctant to read this. My child bearing years are over. Sometimes it even feels like those years were a little demoralizing. Why would I need this book? Been there, done that.
I am so happy I read it!! If you are an older mom with a large family, I highly recommend this book. It will bring back all the wonderful reasons you had so many children! This was such a happy read for me, a chance to remember all the reasons I had 9 children and how they were good reasons and how the children were blessings.
I am just thrilled to death with the joy of motherhood found in this book.
I am so happy I read it!! If you are an older mom with a large family, I highly recommend this book. It will bring back all the wonderful reasons you had so many children! This was such a happy read for me, a chance to remember all the reasons I had 9 children and how they were good reasons and how the children were blessings.
I am just thrilled to death with the joy of motherhood found in this book.
August 10, 2024
Going into this book, I expected some good demographic data and sociological insight (and it delivered). What I wasn't expecting was to be so dang encouraged. In fact, listening to these vastly varied interviews with seasoned mothers was incredibly healing, restorative, and bolstering for me.
The thing about role models is that we often don't hear from the ones doing hidden work. We see and hear the loudest ones, the ones with prestige or finesse, the ones writing memoirs or doing public facing work. But who thinks to hear from mothers, and not just mothers, but the ones doing something very counter-cultural and odd in the eyes of society... like having a large family? Most often they're written off as religiously brainwashed or caricatured as boring doormats. But they have much to offer in the way of modeling a way of life that is not only uncommon but entirely rare in the modern West.
The interviews in here are truly a treasure. The women are varied in many aspects of life circumstance and background. I found it fascinating that the research tended to show more in common with women choosing larger families with their spouse (whether wanting them at the start, or warming to it one baby at a time, or some mix) than these women had with with many of the people in their same socioeconomic/professional/geographic/cultural/religious backgrounds.
As stated multiple times within... this not a difference of degree, but of kind: To have the view that people (in the form of children) *are* the good in life, and worth all the necessary sacrifices. That you don't squeeze some planned children into your ideal life, but that you build your life around the children that come. That children don't ruin your marriage, they are in fact a fruit of its love.
Hearing from the intriguing women themselves in this conversational, qualitative way was such a good and necessary approach. Much is lost and misunderstood in quantitative demography and traditional sociological studies (which I'm also a sucker for).
I loved the way the author wove in not only relevant data, but interpretations of the threads she was collecting across these interviews. The women's experience with the benefits of large families—and babies—for marriages, siblings, families, communities, and society was especially illuminating and should be considered more seriously.
This book was a much needed bit of hope after reading and reviewing the more dismal "Family Unfriendly" by Tim Carney. These books, released on the same day, should honestly be bundled and read together. Each illumines the gaps and answers many of the questions of the other.
This would be helpful for anyone grappling with the whys, fears, or struggles of parenthood. Or really anyone in need of some hard-earned and honest wisdom regarding the role of children in all of our lives.
(The audio version was WONDERFUL. And the author's interview with Louise Perry on the Maiden Mother Matriarch podcast was a DELIGHT.)
The thing about role models is that we often don't hear from the ones doing hidden work. We see and hear the loudest ones, the ones with prestige or finesse, the ones writing memoirs or doing public facing work. But who thinks to hear from mothers, and not just mothers, but the ones doing something very counter-cultural and odd in the eyes of society... like having a large family? Most often they're written off as religiously brainwashed or caricatured as boring doormats. But they have much to offer in the way of modeling a way of life that is not only uncommon but entirely rare in the modern West.
The interviews in here are truly a treasure. The women are varied in many aspects of life circumstance and background. I found it fascinating that the research tended to show more in common with women choosing larger families with their spouse (whether wanting them at the start, or warming to it one baby at a time, or some mix) than these women had with with many of the people in their same socioeconomic/professional/geographic/cultural/religious backgrounds.
As stated multiple times within... this not a difference of degree, but of kind: To have the view that people (in the form of children) *are* the good in life, and worth all the necessary sacrifices. That you don't squeeze some planned children into your ideal life, but that you build your life around the children that come. That children don't ruin your marriage, they are in fact a fruit of its love.
Hearing from the intriguing women themselves in this conversational, qualitative way was such a good and necessary approach. Much is lost and misunderstood in quantitative demography and traditional sociological studies (which I'm also a sucker for).
I loved the way the author wove in not only relevant data, but interpretations of the threads she was collecting across these interviews. The women's experience with the benefits of large families—and babies—for marriages, siblings, families, communities, and society was especially illuminating and should be considered more seriously.
This book was a much needed bit of hope after reading and reviewing the more dismal "Family Unfriendly" by Tim Carney. These books, released on the same day, should honestly be bundled and read together. Each illumines the gaps and answers many of the questions of the other.
This would be helpful for anyone grappling with the whys, fears, or struggles of parenthood. Or really anyone in need of some hard-earned and honest wisdom regarding the role of children in all of our lives.
(The audio version was WONDERFUL. And the author's interview with Louise Perry on the Maiden Mother Matriarch podcast was a DELIGHT.)
June 20, 2024
I’m not exactly the demographic that was the focus of the research in this book - I have the five kids but not the college degree. And I can see that it might not be the best book for everyone to read, if you are dealing with infertility or not in a place to consider having more children. I also thought some things were overstated, particularly in the last couple of chapters. But I loved hearing all the women’s stories and I think the overarching message of the great value of children and the necessity of sacrificing other goods for that more important good is much needed today.
June 15, 2024
I was so excited to read this book! As a practicing Catholic and new young Mom, this book was right up my alley. I thought the start of the book (in which the author described neo-Malthusian ideas) was brilliant. However, the rest of the book is mostly interviews with mothers-of-many copied almost verbatim, complete with ums, ahs, and half-formed ideas. As another reviewer noted, the interviews become really repetitive.
Also, I’ll admit that some of the rhetoric in this book made me uncomfortable. One woman with ten children related asking her husband after a birth “how many more can we have?” While I do think large families are beautiful and worth celebrating, I do think there comes a point where having more and more children becomes myopic and potentially unfair to the existing kids, and to be frank, I think some women in this book were skirting that line. Many women seemed to take the position that more is always better, even after health crises or mental health challenges.
Overall, this book contained a lot of good insights. Even though I’m Catholic, I found that the most sagacious points came from the Jewish women interviewed. However, I think the interviews should have been more streamlined and cleaned up. The takeaways from the interviews were often repetitive and vague. An interesting work for sure!
Also, I’ll admit that some of the rhetoric in this book made me uncomfortable. One woman with ten children related asking her husband after a birth “how many more can we have?” While I do think large families are beautiful and worth celebrating, I do think there comes a point where having more and more children becomes myopic and potentially unfair to the existing kids, and to be frank, I think some women in this book were skirting that line. Many women seemed to take the position that more is always better, even after health crises or mental health challenges.
Overall, this book contained a lot of good insights. Even though I’m Catholic, I found that the most sagacious points came from the Jewish women interviewed. However, I think the interviews should have been more streamlined and cleaned up. The takeaways from the interviews were often repetitive and vague. An interesting work for sure!
October 1, 2024
Hannah's Children really got me out of my ideological echo chamber. I really liked hearing the different women’s perspectives on the benefits of having children, and the meaning it brings to our lives. I’m grateful to the author for conducting this research into a realm that is understudied if not completely ignored, and the book definitely helped me grapple with explanations for the low birth rate in developed countries.
More personally, it helped me to articulate my own reasons for having kids, such as the idea that having children connects us to our ancestors like an "infinite chain" of humanity; that it's empowering and downright magical to create another life; that true satisfaction in life comes from giving ("give and you shall receive") and raising children is the ultimate test in how much we are willing to give; that having children brings meaning and purpose to our lives; and, appealing to my animist/pagan side, that it's an animal and bodily instinct that feels right to listen to.
With all of that said, I had serious issues with the quality of some of the author’s arguments. She implies that feminism is to blame for low birth rates. Not only do I disagree, the argument that women entering the workforce is a problem for birth rates ignores the real culprit, which is capitalism, and the assertion in our culture that care work is not economically valuable while making money outside the home is. In addition, the fact that she has eight children yet works as a successful academic while making this argument strikes me as hypocritical.
Also, it bothers me that all the religious women profiled are Christian and Jewish-- there are zero Muslim women discussed. It is a glaring omission, and speaks to the white-centric nature of the research.
There are plenty more ideological points on which I disagree with the author (such as her argument for less separation between church and state)-- but that's to be expected. Overall, I haven't read such a provocative book in a very long time. It helped me immensely to engage with aspects of motherhood I'd only thought about superficially. It was a great addition to the intellectual examination of motherhood I've low-key been on since the births of my children. I definitely would recommend this read to people on either side of the political spectrum.
More personally, it helped me to articulate my own reasons for having kids, such as the idea that having children connects us to our ancestors like an "infinite chain" of humanity; that it's empowering and downright magical to create another life; that true satisfaction in life comes from giving ("give and you shall receive") and raising children is the ultimate test in how much we are willing to give; that having children brings meaning and purpose to our lives; and, appealing to my animist/pagan side, that it's an animal and bodily instinct that feels right to listen to.
With all of that said, I had serious issues with the quality of some of the author’s arguments. She implies that feminism is to blame for low birth rates. Not only do I disagree, the argument that women entering the workforce is a problem for birth rates ignores the real culprit, which is capitalism, and the assertion in our culture that care work is not economically valuable while making money outside the home is. In addition, the fact that she has eight children yet works as a successful academic while making this argument strikes me as hypocritical.
Also, it bothers me that all the religious women profiled are Christian and Jewish-- there are zero Muslim women discussed. It is a glaring omission, and speaks to the white-centric nature of the research.
There are plenty more ideological points on which I disagree with the author (such as her argument for less separation between church and state)-- but that's to be expected. Overall, I haven't read such a provocative book in a very long time. It helped me immensely to engage with aspects of motherhood I'd only thought about superficially. It was a great addition to the intellectual examination of motherhood I've low-key been on since the births of my children. I definitely would recommend this read to people on either side of the political spectrum.
March 20, 2025
This is a very difficult book to review. I think in some ways I’m not the right audience for this book, even though I’m a young religious twenty-something first time mom with a masters degree and a hope for four or five kids. So maybe I’m exactly the right audience for this book?
To start with the objective qualities, this was a well conceived if not perfectly executed book. I have a soft spot for qualitative research, and this was an excellent choice. There was some extrapolation and bias. The analysis from an economic perspective, and of economic dynamics surrounding birth rates and incentives was fascinating and likely very important. On that alone it ought to have four stars.
On a personal note, I was surprised to find myself spiritually enriched by this book. I deeply appreciated the voices and ideas of some of these women, and found myself reflecting on their words in my own life and parenting. There is deep beauty, richness, virtue, and maturity to be found in parenting, and our culture IS blind and hostile to this in many ways. While not all people are called to have children, it is far too normalized; we have lost perspective of children as a marker for human flourishing. Biologically, when a species stops reproducing, it is a red flag of massive proportions. We are right to worry ourselves over this, and those of us who are capable and called ought be willing to be challenged.
All that being said, I struggled with deep anger at some of the narratives and ideas shared in this book, primarily by the subjects though not disputed by the primary author and researcher. I know far too many now-adult children of large religious families who hold deep wounds and dysfunctions brought about by their parents’ lack of wise stewardship of their fertility- wounds and dysfunctions that have led most (if not all) of them to vow off ever having their own children. I know far too many young couples being fed lies by the religio-cultural right about what is best for them regarding their fertility and having children at a willfully breakneck pace. As a mental health profession, my heart hurt to hear some of the beliefs and family dynamics mistakenly being shared as healthy and Godly. While children are a great great good, that does not mean it is always wise to have as many as you’d personally prefer, and while parenting demands a beautiful sacrifice, it is also possible to have many children for selfish (and not sacrificial) reasons. I believe in faith AND reason, which not only allows but demands prudent and active stewarding of fertility. While perhaps it was out of scope of this project (I suspect not), I wish there had been even a hint of acknowledgement of the potential unhealthy dynamics and motivations of religious circles with big families. At least for my generation, this is a very pertinent and very under-discussed dynamic that leads many away from having large families. I suspect this is a blind spot of bias on the researchers’ parts.
Overall, I was struck by how many of the stated benefits of a large family were likely benefits that were meant to come from a close (emotionally and physically) community, or “the village”. I think many of these families have substituted having eight children to meet the wide range of social/emotional/spiritual needs that would have been met by cousins, aunts, grandparents, friends. This is very clever, and not necessarily the wrong answer to a world where our appropriate levels of community are nearly impossible to achieve. It still breaks my heart to see more over-glorification of the nuclear family, often at the expense of women and children, that misses the root need of a large and very involved village.
This is an important, if imperfect, book. The experiential read may be a bit challenging.
To start with the objective qualities, this was a well conceived if not perfectly executed book. I have a soft spot for qualitative research, and this was an excellent choice. There was some extrapolation and bias. The analysis from an economic perspective, and of economic dynamics surrounding birth rates and incentives was fascinating and likely very important. On that alone it ought to have four stars.
On a personal note, I was surprised to find myself spiritually enriched by this book. I deeply appreciated the voices and ideas of some of these women, and found myself reflecting on their words in my own life and parenting. There is deep beauty, richness, virtue, and maturity to be found in parenting, and our culture IS blind and hostile to this in many ways. While not all people are called to have children, it is far too normalized; we have lost perspective of children as a marker for human flourishing. Biologically, when a species stops reproducing, it is a red flag of massive proportions. We are right to worry ourselves over this, and those of us who are capable and called ought be willing to be challenged.
All that being said, I struggled with deep anger at some of the narratives and ideas shared in this book, primarily by the subjects though not disputed by the primary author and researcher. I know far too many now-adult children of large religious families who hold deep wounds and dysfunctions brought about by their parents’ lack of wise stewardship of their fertility- wounds and dysfunctions that have led most (if not all) of them to vow off ever having their own children. I know far too many young couples being fed lies by the religio-cultural right about what is best for them regarding their fertility and having children at a willfully breakneck pace. As a mental health profession, my heart hurt to hear some of the beliefs and family dynamics mistakenly being shared as healthy and Godly. While children are a great great good, that does not mean it is always wise to have as many as you’d personally prefer, and while parenting demands a beautiful sacrifice, it is also possible to have many children for selfish (and not sacrificial) reasons. I believe in faith AND reason, which not only allows but demands prudent and active stewarding of fertility. While perhaps it was out of scope of this project (I suspect not), I wish there had been even a hint of acknowledgement of the potential unhealthy dynamics and motivations of religious circles with big families. At least for my generation, this is a very pertinent and very under-discussed dynamic that leads many away from having large families. I suspect this is a blind spot of bias on the researchers’ parts.
Overall, I was struck by how many of the stated benefits of a large family were likely benefits that were meant to come from a close (emotionally and physically) community, or “the village”. I think many of these families have substituted having eight children to meet the wide range of social/emotional/spiritual needs that would have been met by cousins, aunts, grandparents, friends. This is very clever, and not necessarily the wrong answer to a world where our appropriate levels of community are nearly impossible to achieve. It still breaks my heart to see more over-glorification of the nuclear family, often at the expense of women and children, that misses the root need of a large and very involved village.
This is an important, if imperfect, book. The experiential read may be a bit challenging.
September 4, 2024
She really lost me on the LAST page of this book where she calls public education “a government cartel designed to compete against religious schools,” BUT overall an interesting read.
This book is the culmination of the author’s research on women with college degrees who chose to have 5+ children (many have 7+). She concludes that the reason birth rates are low are due to a lack of value placed on children, particularly outside religious communities, and that those in religious communities are more likely to value children for xyz reason. Makes sense.
Though understandably outside of the scope of her research, I wish the book had addressed more about the financial situation of these families and how finances play a part in large families. It is quite obvious that although evidence may not point to tax credits/economic subsidies increasing the birth rate, a good many of her interviewees had a certain level of wealth. Additionally, I’d be interested to read some negative experiences of children/siblings in large families.
Because the author herself is Catholic and has a large family (which she acknowledges), it also felt biased and in some parts she seemed to make assumptions that were not clearly derived from her interviews.
I, too, value children, but probably not enough to have 8 of them! :)
This book is the culmination of the author’s research on women with college degrees who chose to have 5+ children (many have 7+). She concludes that the reason birth rates are low are due to a lack of value placed on children, particularly outside religious communities, and that those in religious communities are more likely to value children for xyz reason. Makes sense.
Though understandably outside of the scope of her research, I wish the book had addressed more about the financial situation of these families and how finances play a part in large families. It is quite obvious that although evidence may not point to tax credits/economic subsidies increasing the birth rate, a good many of her interviewees had a certain level of wealth. Additionally, I’d be interested to read some negative experiences of children/siblings in large families.
Because the author herself is Catholic and has a large family (which she acknowledges), it also felt biased and in some parts she seemed to make assumptions that were not clearly derived from her interviews.
I, too, value children, but probably not enough to have 8 of them! :)
October 3, 2024
Religious propaganda masquerading as research. But I did appreciate hearing their individual stories; there is definitely a dearth of voices in this arena. More to come later.
July 2, 2024
Oh wow, this was so good. So many different parts of me and my life (past and present) came to my attention while reading, which caused many tears (for both grief and gladness).
I don’t know what else I would say…
It’s a beautiful book, and awfully well-written.
Without going into specifics, it has helped me sort through some inner things, and helped me to feel more settled.
I highly recommend.
I don’t know what else I would say…
It’s a beautiful book, and awfully well-written.
Without going into specifics, it has helped me sort through some inner things, and helped me to feel more settled.
I highly recommend.
January 12, 2025
It’s hard to explain in words the way this book has impacted me. God has used it to help me see in a greater light the blessing that children are. Yes, as Christians we believe that they are a blessing from God but subconsciously we could be holding reservations or believe LIES from the toxic and feminist propaganda we have grown up with, which have led us to the anxious, depressed, childless, lonely, and godless society we live in… okay I digress. Although the book looks at women with big families, it has been so encouraging for me (a mom of 2). I feel more secure and excited about the call that God has given me as a mom. I’m no longer wishing for a specific number but simply open to whatever God has for us as a family with regards to children.
Some things (lies) that I’m glad she addressed/debunked were: overpopulation, kids being expensive, people are bad for this world, “losing yourself” in motherhood, kids make marriage harder and causes divorce, and others I already can’t remember haha
There were many funny and wonderful stories but the ones I found the most moving were those showing how babies can help people heal emotionally, overcome hardships, tragedy, or bring families together, almost as if they were therapeutic. God’s design is truly beautiful, mysterious, and wonderful.
I RECOMMEND!
Listened on Spotify. Narration was great!
Some things (lies) that I’m glad she addressed/debunked were: overpopulation, kids being expensive, people are bad for this world, “losing yourself” in motherhood, kids make marriage harder and causes divorce, and others I already can’t remember haha
There were many funny and wonderful stories but the ones I found the most moving were those showing how babies can help people heal emotionally, overcome hardships, tragedy, or bring families together, almost as if they were therapeutic. God’s design is truly beautiful, mysterious, and wonderful.
I RECOMMEND!
Listened on Spotify. Narration was great!
December 24, 2024
This was interesting, and in some ways very encouraging. As a mom of five, I could relate to many of the women interviewed. I especially loved the story of the mom who had a child with special needs whose older (and younger) siblings helped tremendously with their physical therapy. Our special needs daughter's PTs have often commented that her older siblings are the best form of therapy for her! What a beautiful affirmation. But not only were many of the interviews repetitive, but the author's summary conclusions throughout the book were extremely redundant. At the end of the day, this was a twelve-hour audiobook that said the same thing over and over. I might recommend it to a young woman discussing family with a fiance or husband, because it does make a beautiful case for large families (particularly if one parent stays home with the children), but I would tell her that a few chapters would be sufficient to get the drift of the book.
I found encouragement in hearing how many other women see their large families as good, as I do mine. But I definitely had questions that this doesn't really address. How feasible is it, actually, to work full-time and have 5+ kids? She mentions that the general entrance of women into the workforce has served to lower the national birth rate across the world. So why doesn't she spend more time asking how full-time working moms with big families actually do this? One woman mentions being able to work as a pediatrician two days a week while her husband stays home with the kids, but how do they live on a part-time pediatrician's salary? For the full-time wohms whose husbands also work (like the author), who is actually raising the children? I was sitting at a party a couple weeks ago with a friend who is also friends with the author, and she affirmed that the author herself has always worked and entered marriage with six kids from her husband's first marriage, so this question should have been on her radar. We discussed another mutual friend who is one of the top four women in her field, nationally, and whose large family size was criticized when she was in the process of acquiring her current job. What is less known is that she has an unmarried family member living with them to care for the kids, so essentially they're a 3-parent household. If having another adult living with you to do the traditional mother activities is how working moms of many do this successfully, why doesn't the author even mention this scenario? By not even asking the question of the working moms in her study, the author misses an opportunity.
I agree with the value of letting children have the gift of responsibility in the home, and I even agree that this may help fight against many of the mental health issues of adolescence, but she doesn't even mention the phenomenon of parentification of oldest daughters in big families, and I know *many* of those young women from my homeschool circles who ended up walking away from their faith and/or choosing not to have children. My husband and I talk about this all the time as we discern how to raise our children--we believe children are a blessing, but also that grandchildren are a blessing, and we want to make sure our children are not turned off to having good sized families, themselves, like so many of my peers have been. Why did she not mention even a single mother of many whose older children resent her decisions or who has seen those struggles stemming from her constant pregnancies? Why doesn't she acknowledge this as a potential struggle and explore how the moms in her study ensured that they weren't offloading too much in their eldest daughters? Many mothers of few have resentful children and struggles, so I am not saying that big families are unique in these challenges. But because she ignores the potential spiritual and relational downsides of large families, I find this work unrealistically rosy.
I found encouragement in hearing how many other women see their large families as good, as I do mine. But I definitely had questions that this doesn't really address. How feasible is it, actually, to work full-time and have 5+ kids? She mentions that the general entrance of women into the workforce has served to lower the national birth rate across the world. So why doesn't she spend more time asking how full-time working moms with big families actually do this? One woman mentions being able to work as a pediatrician two days a week while her husband stays home with the kids, but how do they live on a part-time pediatrician's salary? For the full-time wohms whose husbands also work (like the author), who is actually raising the children? I was sitting at a party a couple weeks ago with a friend who is also friends with the author, and she affirmed that the author herself has always worked and entered marriage with six kids from her husband's first marriage, so this question should have been on her radar. We discussed another mutual friend who is one of the top four women in her field, nationally, and whose large family size was criticized when she was in the process of acquiring her current job. What is less known is that she has an unmarried family member living with them to care for the kids, so essentially they're a 3-parent household. If having another adult living with you to do the traditional mother activities is how working moms of many do this successfully, why doesn't the author even mention this scenario? By not even asking the question of the working moms in her study, the author misses an opportunity.
I agree with the value of letting children have the gift of responsibility in the home, and I even agree that this may help fight against many of the mental health issues of adolescence, but she doesn't even mention the phenomenon of parentification of oldest daughters in big families, and I know *many* of those young women from my homeschool circles who ended up walking away from their faith and/or choosing not to have children. My husband and I talk about this all the time as we discern how to raise our children--we believe children are a blessing, but also that grandchildren are a blessing, and we want to make sure our children are not turned off to having good sized families, themselves, like so many of my peers have been. Why did she not mention even a single mother of many whose older children resent her decisions or who has seen those struggles stemming from her constant pregnancies? Why doesn't she acknowledge this as a potential struggle and explore how the moms in her study ensured that they weren't offloading too much in their eldest daughters? Many mothers of few have resentful children and struggles, so I am not saying that big families are unique in these challenges. But because she ignores the potential spiritual and relational downsides of large families, I find this work unrealistically rosy.
November 11, 2024
I had a hard time choosing between 3 and 4 stars for this book. Not because I didn’t like the thesis of the book and the awareness this book beautifully brings to society’s attention, but because a lot of the women being interviewed didn’t have strong, biblical reasons for having a lot children. Almost all the women ended their interviews saying that they love their big families but that it’s not for everyone, which undermined the reasons they gave for having a big family. It’s ok to have a strong view that applies for all people. I did love the author’s intent of the book and the stark reality she puts in front of your face about the birth dirth.
I did appreciate that almost all the women interviewed said resoundingly that children are a blessing from God, because I couldn’t agree more. I do wish the author interviewed more Protestants; I recall only two in the book. The rest were Mormons and Catholics.
Reading this book has given me new questions to ask mothers who have large families and how they are passing that on to their children. I am the youngest of 7 children and I am the only child of my parents who desires a large family. This book has challenged my reasoning for wanting a large family and to make sure my answers are grounded biblically and not just because I want it in the moment since that desire could vanish if the Lord gives us more children.
I did appreciate that almost all the women interviewed said resoundingly that children are a blessing from God, because I couldn’t agree more. I do wish the author interviewed more Protestants; I recall only two in the book. The rest were Mormons and Catholics.
Reading this book has given me new questions to ask mothers who have large families and how they are passing that on to their children. I am the youngest of 7 children and I am the only child of my parents who desires a large family. This book has challenged my reasoning for wanting a large family and to make sure my answers are grounded biblically and not just because I want it in the moment since that desire could vanish if the Lord gives us more children.
August 21, 2025
Hooo boy, this book is real trip. I thought it would be interesting to read about women who have large families and hear them talk about that choice, and it was. It was lovely reading a bunch of women talking about how great and enjoyable having kids is, particularly since I agree with them. But, to hear her talk, Pakaluk wouldn't believe that I agree with them, since she's pretty sure that people who don't have five or more children don't value their children as much as they value other things in their lives. She briefly mentions in the beginning that she's sorry to offend people with smaller families, but it's not so much that I felt offended, it's that I feel like her conclusions are just not true, and since she didn't interview anyone with less than five children (and herself has 14), she doesn't realize how off-base she is. I know women who have cheerfully given up careers and status in order to raise a single child, and I do not believe that the number of children you have is necessarily correlated to how much you value children. Pakaluk is big into biblical examples of mothers, but conspicuously never mentions a well-known biblical mother famous for having only one son.
Pakaluk is annoyingly confident that everyone can afford a pile of children, because, hey, you just need to shop at thrift stores, kids can share rooms...and did you know that kids don't really need a bunch of fancy lessons and sports? If your values are straight, you will find a way. There's some truth to this and my personal experience is that children don't have to be as expensive as is widely reported. Still, there's no way that having 6 children is essentially the same as having 3 because you already bought that minivan, and my sense is that Pakaluk, from her fancy tenured perch, just doesn't quite get it.
I genuinely loved reading these women talk about how great a new baby was for their teenagers and how much their many children love each other. Pakaluk is always so quick, however, to leap to the conclusion that this arrangement is absolutely best for everyone and the way it is supposed to be. If you have fewer children, they will be selfish, spoiled, and not close to each other. There's a lot of talk about God planning families, the implication being that if you leave the family planning up to God you'll get lots of kids, just the way you should. One of my great-grandmothers had 1 child, another had 3. Not everyone is going to have a bunch of children, and seeing it a sign of someone's deepest held values seems fraught, not to mention inaccurate. To make things worse (and more ridiculous), at one point Pakaluk even muses about how, really, girls need a sister and boys need a brother, moving beyond simply large-is-better to and also there's an ideal ratio of girls and boys to shoot for.
I agree with Pakaluk's pessimism that tax incentives, maternity leave, etc. will not significantly raise the birth rate; that seems pretty well-documented, though I would argue that perhaps it's a good thing to support families regardless of whether it makes them have more children. I agree that having large families if often a choice rooted in personal beliefs and desires and that the government isn't going to have much luck encouraging them to have more. She then pivots to some pretty scary stuff about how the solution to low birth rates is to basically make religious institutions more powerful and then really lost me by discussing how "public education is a government cartel designed to compete against religious schools" that "represents a drastic violation of religious liberty." Yikes stripes.
The interviews with the mothers in this books are interesting and many are really heartwarming. The conclusions drawn from these cherry-picked interviews, however, I could mostly have done without.
Pakaluk is annoyingly confident that everyone can afford a pile of children, because, hey, you just need to shop at thrift stores, kids can share rooms...and did you know that kids don't really need a bunch of fancy lessons and sports? If your values are straight, you will find a way. There's some truth to this and my personal experience is that children don't have to be as expensive as is widely reported. Still, there's no way that having 6 children is essentially the same as having 3 because you already bought that minivan, and my sense is that Pakaluk, from her fancy tenured perch, just doesn't quite get it.
I genuinely loved reading these women talk about how great a new baby was for their teenagers and how much their many children love each other. Pakaluk is always so quick, however, to leap to the conclusion that this arrangement is absolutely best for everyone and the way it is supposed to be. If you have fewer children, they will be selfish, spoiled, and not close to each other. There's a lot of talk about God planning families, the implication being that if you leave the family planning up to God you'll get lots of kids, just the way you should. One of my great-grandmothers had 1 child, another had 3. Not everyone is going to have a bunch of children, and seeing it a sign of someone's deepest held values seems fraught, not to mention inaccurate. To make things worse (and more ridiculous), at one point Pakaluk even muses about how, really, girls need a sister and boys need a brother, moving beyond simply large-is-better to and also there's an ideal ratio of girls and boys to shoot for.
I agree with Pakaluk's pessimism that tax incentives, maternity leave, etc. will not significantly raise the birth rate; that seems pretty well-documented, though I would argue that perhaps it's a good thing to support families regardless of whether it makes them have more children. I agree that having large families if often a choice rooted in personal beliefs and desires and that the government isn't going to have much luck encouraging them to have more. She then pivots to some pretty scary stuff about how the solution to low birth rates is to basically make religious institutions more powerful and then really lost me by discussing how "public education is a government cartel designed to compete against religious schools" that "represents a drastic violation of religious liberty." Yikes stripes.
The interviews with the mothers in this books are interesting and many are really heartwarming. The conclusions drawn from these cherry-picked interviews, however, I could mostly have done without.
February 12, 2025
Every mother should read this. There’s so much to say… what a fascinating account of the manifold benefits of large families from the perspective on an economist, of all things. Her conclusion: if governments want to incentivize women to have more children (which, economically, desperately needs to happen), the government really must support traditional religious structures (Christianity, Judaism, and Mormonism feature heavily in this book). Religion alone is the motivation a woman needs to forgo the potential cost of having more children. Women make the ultimate sacrifice for God and for Love, not for extra cash during tax return season.
As a side benefit this book is so edifying for me as a young mother in the chaotic years of “three kids three and under.” Hearing story after story of families (of all faiths, shapes, spacing, work statuses, you name it) who unwaveringly laud the blessing of each child, despite difficulties and hardships, is exactly what I need to hear. The women they interviewed have the same vision for life: children are good, families are good, God has a plan, and it’s better than my original plan!
As a side benefit this book is so edifying for me as a young mother in the chaotic years of “three kids three and under.” Hearing story after story of families (of all faiths, shapes, spacing, work statuses, you name it) who unwaveringly laud the blessing of each child, despite difficulties and hardships, is exactly what I need to hear. The women they interviewed have the same vision for life: children are good, families are good, God has a plan, and it’s better than my original plan!
March 14, 2025
I enjoyed this and am thankful to have read it, though it’s challenging to put my thoughts on the topic into words. I have a lot in common with the women interviewed and shared many of their experiences and opinions as a fellow mother of many. There were many beautiful, encouraging sentiments and even some challenges to my own thinking on large family life.
Perhaps I am just left a bit grieved by the conclusion that the fate of the birth rate rises and falls on a small amount of religious women? That is kind of intense to think about. A more hopeful conclusion, and hopefully the one that will stick with me, is that with God identified as the One compelling faithful parents to have children, we can be sure more children will come. God is faithful to his purposes in the world, he is at work among his people, he cares more deeply about the fate of this world than any of us ever could.
Maybe the best take away for the Christian reader here is to keep our ears tuned to the Holy Spirit and stay open to his leadership in the area of childbearing and family size as it might apply in each person’s life. Stay open in faith and be unafraid of the ways the world will attempt to dissuade you. Believe that God will provide more than we can ask or think. Think often on the myriad joys and blessings of life among many and believe in the great value of raising children, that we might be a people who are always extending the table for one more when the opportunity is there.
Perhaps I am just left a bit grieved by the conclusion that the fate of the birth rate rises and falls on a small amount of religious women? That is kind of intense to think about. A more hopeful conclusion, and hopefully the one that will stick with me, is that with God identified as the One compelling faithful parents to have children, we can be sure more children will come. God is faithful to his purposes in the world, he is at work among his people, he cares more deeply about the fate of this world than any of us ever could.
Maybe the best take away for the Christian reader here is to keep our ears tuned to the Holy Spirit and stay open to his leadership in the area of childbearing and family size as it might apply in each person’s life. Stay open in faith and be unafraid of the ways the world will attempt to dissuade you. Believe that God will provide more than we can ask or think. Think often on the myriad joys and blessings of life among many and believe in the great value of raising children, that we might be a people who are always extending the table for one more when the opportunity is there.
September 18, 2024
I meant to read this book alongside Caleb, but cruised through it leaving him behind on page 100…
one of the most memorable quotes is something along the lines of… “when I was younger, I thought I was doing something great for God by having all these children. Now I can see that really God was doing something great for me”..
This book has changed the way I view my motherhood. It felt like sitting down with women who have valued children above all else and asking “why?”. Why give up advances in your career, why give up sleep and time alone, why give up material goods, why give up your very self, your identity? Their answers were beautiful, thought provoking, and inspiring. Pakaluk looks at these women’s answers through an economic lens, hoping to provide answers to how we can increase childbearing in our world. And no, it’s not by a child tax credit, nor by free IVF.. shocking.
one of the most memorable quotes is something along the lines of… “when I was younger, I thought I was doing something great for God by having all these children. Now I can see that really God was doing something great for me”..
This book has changed the way I view my motherhood. It felt like sitting down with women who have valued children above all else and asking “why?”. Why give up advances in your career, why give up sleep and time alone, why give up material goods, why give up your very self, your identity? Their answers were beautiful, thought provoking, and inspiring. Pakaluk looks at these women’s answers through an economic lens, hoping to provide answers to how we can increase childbearing in our world. And no, it’s not by a child tax credit, nor by free IVF.. shocking.
October 9, 2024
The stories in the book were interesting, and it does portray a population that does not get talked about much. But while I enjoyed some of this, I really couldn't stomach the way in which it drew conclusions from the stories.. at first I thought the book was not very rigorous and the author a bit too biased.. by the end I was convinced it was religious propaganda trying (not even too hard) to look like research.
January 28, 2026
Instant classic. It’s only January, but I know this will be on my list of favorite books of the year. I walked in expecting a study of women who have large families - and to be sure, I got that. But Hannah’s Children is so much more.
1. A review of the scientific literature around falling fertility rates around the globe, including a look at the economic theories underpinning these trends.
2. Substantive discussion around the incentives women are facing today and a look at the opportunity cost of having children.
3. An evaluation of and explanation why current and proposed pro-natalist policies won’t work.
The main content of the book though is long form interviews with mothers who are defying all current trends. Readers are treated to unique, contrarian, and beautiful perspectives. These women are giving up what our society tells them they should be valuing. Why? Pakaluk chose 55 women in the US who have 5 or more children and asked them this question. I’m not going to go into all the answers they provided - Pakaluk does a great job calling out certain trends she is seeing - but one very consistent theme is religious belief. Many of the women interviewed acknowledged how difficult (if not impossible) this choice would be in a secular context.
A question that comes up that I think we all have to answer is: What are we living for? And related: What are kids to us? Are they an accessory in our lives and lifestyles or are they something more? I believe all the women in this study answer that question that they are something more. They are gifts from God. It is probably too early to say how much this book has radicalized my thinking regarding children. But it is safe to say that it is forcing me to wrestle with some big questions.
So like I mentioned earlier, I walked into this book expecting an interesting sociological study, but I found an economics book and a theological book in addition to the question and study of fertility. Refreshing and recommended!
1. A review of the scientific literature around falling fertility rates around the globe, including a look at the economic theories underpinning these trends.
2. Substantive discussion around the incentives women are facing today and a look at the opportunity cost of having children.
3. An evaluation of and explanation why current and proposed pro-natalist policies won’t work.
The main content of the book though is long form interviews with mothers who are defying all current trends. Readers are treated to unique, contrarian, and beautiful perspectives. These women are giving up what our society tells them they should be valuing. Why? Pakaluk chose 55 women in the US who have 5 or more children and asked them this question. I’m not going to go into all the answers they provided - Pakaluk does a great job calling out certain trends she is seeing - but one very consistent theme is religious belief. Many of the women interviewed acknowledged how difficult (if not impossible) this choice would be in a secular context.
A question that comes up that I think we all have to answer is: What are we living for? And related: What are kids to us? Are they an accessory in our lives and lifestyles or are they something more? I believe all the women in this study answer that question that they are something more. They are gifts from God. It is probably too early to say how much this book has radicalized my thinking regarding children. But it is safe to say that it is forcing me to wrestle with some big questions.
So like I mentioned earlier, I walked into this book expecting an interesting sociological study, but I found an economics book and a theological book in addition to the question and study of fertility. Refreshing and recommended!
May 22, 2025
This book has had a profound impact on how I think about the value of children and specially, the value of having a large family. The author interviewed dozens of mothers with 5 or more children and distilled her qualitative research into this book. Her goal being to understand why Americans are having so few children (the average birth rate is currently below replacement rate). But more importantly, why these women are choosing to defy the American norm and have many children.
My most significant takeaway from this book is how these mothers capitalized on the blessing, not the hardship, of children. They saw children as a gift from God and a priceless blessing. “Who would want to say no to a gift?” they said. These women did not define motherhood by how hard it is, as our culture seems to define it. Having a large family is labeled as too hard, inconvenient, irresponsible, and requiring too much sacrifice. But of course “hardness“ is a given, that is part of the territory of having a large family (anything worthwhile is going to be hard). For these women, however, the blessing, benefit, joy, and privilege of having many children outweighed the cost. They saw their large families are a joyous blessing and having a positive impact on their marriages, their children, and society.
Coming from a family of 10 kids, I see the wonderful fruit of many children that is presented over and over in this book. Having large families is good for us, the parents. It requires us to grow up and meet the needs of our children day after day after day for many years. That kind of long-term giving of yourself is bound to produce good fruit and virtue. It requires parents to live for “the other” instead of pursuing their own dreams and passions exclusively. It makes us more selfless, more like Christ. Having many siblings is good for the children. It helps to shape their character and virtues in ways that would be difficult or impossible otherwise. It teaches them, among so many other things, that the world does not revolve around them. They often feel more useful and needed because being a part of a large family, their contribution IS needed!
She discusses how overpopulation is a myth and how pro-natalist incentive policies are not actually going to motivate people to have more children. What motivated almost all of these mothers to have many children was faith in God, something bigger than themselves, a deep calling and purpose. Because having many children requires so much sacrifice, they were motivated by the desire to serve and give, to receive more gifts (children), and fulfill their God-given purpose as mothers. God is the one who plants these kinds of desires and gives the grace and strength to die to self, grow in capacity, and faithfully raise many children!
This book was so encouraging and edifying in my daily parenting efforts and reinforced the purpose and impact of my role. The Lord also used it to show me where I have sneaky pockets of wrong thinking about children. Every woman should read this book—if you don’t want kids, if you want just one or two, or if you what a big family. But be warned, you may want to have 8 kids after reading it. :)
Listened.
My most significant takeaway from this book is how these mothers capitalized on the blessing, not the hardship, of children. They saw children as a gift from God and a priceless blessing. “Who would want to say no to a gift?” they said. These women did not define motherhood by how hard it is, as our culture seems to define it. Having a large family is labeled as too hard, inconvenient, irresponsible, and requiring too much sacrifice. But of course “hardness“ is a given, that is part of the territory of having a large family (anything worthwhile is going to be hard). For these women, however, the blessing, benefit, joy, and privilege of having many children outweighed the cost. They saw their large families are a joyous blessing and having a positive impact on their marriages, their children, and society.
Coming from a family of 10 kids, I see the wonderful fruit of many children that is presented over and over in this book. Having large families is good for us, the parents. It requires us to grow up and meet the needs of our children day after day after day for many years. That kind of long-term giving of yourself is bound to produce good fruit and virtue. It requires parents to live for “the other” instead of pursuing their own dreams and passions exclusively. It makes us more selfless, more like Christ. Having many siblings is good for the children. It helps to shape their character and virtues in ways that would be difficult or impossible otherwise. It teaches them, among so many other things, that the world does not revolve around them. They often feel more useful and needed because being a part of a large family, their contribution IS needed!
She discusses how overpopulation is a myth and how pro-natalist incentive policies are not actually going to motivate people to have more children. What motivated almost all of these mothers to have many children was faith in God, something bigger than themselves, a deep calling and purpose. Because having many children requires so much sacrifice, they were motivated by the desire to serve and give, to receive more gifts (children), and fulfill their God-given purpose as mothers. God is the one who plants these kinds of desires and gives the grace and strength to die to self, grow in capacity, and faithfully raise many children!
This book was so encouraging and edifying in my daily parenting efforts and reinforced the purpose and impact of my role. The Lord also used it to show me where I have sneaky pockets of wrong thinking about children. Every woman should read this book—if you don’t want kids, if you want just one or two, or if you what a big family. But be warned, you may want to have 8 kids after reading it. :)
Listened.
May 16, 2024
This book covers a very interesting topic. It is chalked full of narratives of college-educated women from a variety of backgrounds and religions who chose to have five or more children. The author ties in economics, theology, politics, and identity to understand the “why” behind childbearing.
I didn’t find the book to be heavy-handed or shaming towards women who choose to have fewer children or cannot have children. I found it to be incredibly uplifting to hear from so many different women who see the deep value in their role and vocation as a mother. I was inspired. Not necessarily inspired to have 10 children, but definitely inspired by the wisdom, grace, and joy displayed by the mothers who were interviewed here.
I didn’t find the book to be heavy-handed or shaming towards women who choose to have fewer children or cannot have children. I found it to be incredibly uplifting to hear from so many different women who see the deep value in their role and vocation as a mother. I was inspired. Not necessarily inspired to have 10 children, but definitely inspired by the wisdom, grace, and joy displayed by the mothers who were interviewed here.
October 14, 2024
I came to this book from its coverage in The New Yorker, which perhaps in itself explains my one-star review to those who have read the book.
The book utterly lacks rigor. In the few places she makes any attempt at inquiry into the larger societal questions around the decisions of these women and their less-prolific counterparts, she delves precisely enough to support her point and then stops abruptly, leaving glaring considerations unmentioned and unexplored. The project is conceptually interesting and even potentially important, but the book is tedious and intellectually dishonest.
The book utterly lacks rigor. In the few places she makes any attempt at inquiry into the larger societal questions around the decisions of these women and their less-prolific counterparts, she delves precisely enough to support her point and then stops abruptly, leaving glaring considerations unmentioned and unexplored. The project is conceptually interesting and even potentially important, but the book is tedious and intellectually dishonest.
April 1, 2024
I loved this so much! All the moms in here were so nice and sounded just like my mom and her friends. SO inspiring!!!
January 20, 2025
This book is a GIFT to the world where it’s abnormal to choose to have more than 2 children! Children are a BLESSING and Catherine did a remarkable job at capturing the stories of mothers who chose devoting themselves to having a big family instead of having successful careers. I just loved hearing the joy they had when they found out they were going to have another baby, even if it was their 10th. She also points out the beauty that comes from being a part of a big family and having tons of siblings. Such a BEAUTIFUL book.
May 23, 2025
This was really well written, such a refreshing perspective. I love being apart of a big family so it was neat to really explore the positives of having one. I think maybe it missed some of the challenges that also come with being in a big family - but that wasn’t really the point of the book, so anyways!
December 3, 2024
Really really loved this! This author researched why women are choosing to have lots of kids in a culture where the average kids per family is less than the replacement rate. Specifically, she interviewed women in the US with college degrees and 5 or more children. Reading/hearing their stories (so similar to mine - religious, master’s degree, only 4 kids for me though!) was SO encouraging! I laughed, I cried, I “amen!”ed. I even tried (and failed) to convince my husband to reverse his..*ahem*.
The interviews themselves were great but I also loved the researcher’s conclusions and especially her answer to the birth dearth problem of our nation - and it’s clearly not monetary incentives. The best thing (the author argues) that our government can do to get families bigger is to strengthen religious freedom and specifically religious education(!!!!)
How’d she get there? Some of the women interviewed were working full-time, some part-time, some not at all. Some were black, some white, some Asian-American, some Hispanic. Some middle class, some close to the poverty line and some very affluent. What did they all have in common? These women were all deeply religious - Jewish, Catholic, Mormon or Protestant. Bottom line: to not mind being counter-cultural, you need a bigger purpose.
She made so many other astute observations that were just so good.
I promise I didn’t spoil the book for you. If you’re a mom of a bigger family I hope you’ll read it and be as deeply encouraged as I am. Or listen - audiobook narration is fantastic.
The interviews themselves were great but I also loved the researcher’s conclusions and especially her answer to the birth dearth problem of our nation - and it’s clearly not monetary incentives. The best thing (the author argues) that our government can do to get families bigger is to strengthen religious freedom and specifically religious education(!!!!)
How’d she get there? Some of the women interviewed were working full-time, some part-time, some not at all. Some were black, some white, some Asian-American, some Hispanic. Some middle class, some close to the poverty line and some very affluent. What did they all have in common? These women were all deeply religious - Jewish, Catholic, Mormon or Protestant. Bottom line: to not mind being counter-cultural, you need a bigger purpose.
She made so many other astute observations that were just so good.
I promise I didn’t spoil the book for you. If you’re a mom of a bigger family I hope you’ll read it and be as deeply encouraged as I am. Or listen - audiobook narration is fantastic.
February 18, 2025
I learned about economics, was strengthened in my love for my children, and even cried a little. I call that a winner.
November 12, 2025
If you’re a guy, read this book. It will very likely change your life, even if only a little, and definitely for the better.
February 19, 2026
Loooooved this, from so many angles. Viewing my upbringing in a large family in a new light, thinking about now my own babies and motherhood, all in such an edifying way that I don’t hear as often. Loved the varying backgrounds of all the women in the book and the way they had very different personalities but were all aligned on key similarities that led them to have a lot of children. Recommending this one to so many friends lately!
January 13, 2026
I loved listening to this book! The more I heard insights shared by all types of mothers, the more my heart felt so full. It has always been a desire of mine to have children, but hearing the ways these mothers found more in motherhood than they ever could have imagined - especially to multiple children - it creates such an excitement for life and greater appreciation for God’s design. The correlation between Christ and the sacrificial nature of motherhood is certainly no accident. Big families for the win!
The quote that stuck with me most - “We are most ourselves when we give ourselves away.”
The quote that stuck with me most - “We are most ourselves when we give ourselves away.”
June 15, 2025
At first, this book will just seem like a repetitive, slightly disorganized research project with interviews that prove that religious women who like children will have lots of children. Towards the end, however, Pakaluk starts to twist Scripture to meet her own ends, insisting that God will repay his “debts” “sevenfold”, that if you sacrifice your gifts, your contribution to the world, your enjoyment, your physical, emotional and mental health God will grant you the fulfillment you weren’t seeking in the first place. Guaranteed. Prosperity gospel at its finest.
Not only does this book glorify only large families and potentially abuse in acquiring them, it actually takes aim at small families (unclear if this, to her, means 1-2 kids or less than 5 kids), blaming them for the downfall of America for being selfish and unable to instill pro-social behavior in their children or parents. She also includes discussion of how marriages won’t survive unless you have a big family, “Because you know, at some point, you’re going to find out that your spouse isn’t perfect like you thought they were and then what’s going to keep you together [other than a big family]?” There’s frequent discussion of mothers not being able to give attention or care to all the kids, or even leaving them unattended at home, but this being okay because the kids can just take care of each other and fulfill each other’s needs, even if medically complicated.
I was hoping for an intellectually rigorous and emotionally moving account of what drives women to create big families, but this is a self-fulfilling prophecy of a book, demanding in the end that “our religious institutions are too weak. And they will remain weak, unable to inspire the heroic sacrifices we need, so long as states and nations do their work.” Do with that what you will.
One star added because Brad Wilcox was mentioned several times and I enjoyed taking his class in college.
*amended to add that until the last ~100 pages I was going to give this 3 stars and not say anything, but her sweeping generalizations (including calling public school a “government cartel”) and uncharitable attitudes towards anyone not living her lifestyle colored the otherwise sometimes sweet sometimes concerning interviews. I’d be interested in what a more unbiased researcher could do with this data, and what information could be gathered on how the kids are doing as they get older, how they are actually being parented etc. other than just the mothers’ assumptions about how great their choices are*
Not only does this book glorify only large families and potentially abuse in acquiring them, it actually takes aim at small families (unclear if this, to her, means 1-2 kids or less than 5 kids), blaming them for the downfall of America for being selfish and unable to instill pro-social behavior in their children or parents. She also includes discussion of how marriages won’t survive unless you have a big family, “Because you know, at some point, you’re going to find out that your spouse isn’t perfect like you thought they were and then what’s going to keep you together [other than a big family]?” There’s frequent discussion of mothers not being able to give attention or care to all the kids, or even leaving them unattended at home, but this being okay because the kids can just take care of each other and fulfill each other’s needs, even if medically complicated.
I was hoping for an intellectually rigorous and emotionally moving account of what drives women to create big families, but this is a self-fulfilling prophecy of a book, demanding in the end that “our religious institutions are too weak. And they will remain weak, unable to inspire the heroic sacrifices we need, so long as states and nations do their work.” Do with that what you will.
One star added because Brad Wilcox was mentioned several times and I enjoyed taking his class in college.
*amended to add that until the last ~100 pages I was going to give this 3 stars and not say anything, but her sweeping generalizations (including calling public school a “government cartel”) and uncharitable attitudes towards anyone not living her lifestyle colored the otherwise sometimes sweet sometimes concerning interviews. I’d be interested in what a more unbiased researcher could do with this data, and what information could be gathered on how the kids are doing as they get older, how they are actually being parented etc. other than just the mothers’ assumptions about how great their choices are*
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