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In This Small Spot #1
In This Small Spot
“Here, the true you is most often magnified, for better or for worse.” Abbess Theodora
In a world increasingly connected to computers and machines but disconnected to self and others, Dr. Michele Stewart finds herself drowning in a life that no longer holds meaning. Searching for a deeper connection after losing her partner, Alice, she enters a contemplative monastery, living a life dedicated to prayer, to faith in things unseen. Though most of her family and friends are convinced that she has become a nun to run away from her life, she finds herself more attuned to life than she has been in years. Stripped of the things that define most people in the outside world – career, clothing, possessions – she rediscovers a long forgotten part of herself. But sooner than she expects, the outside world intrudes, forcing her to confront doubts and demons she thought she had left behind. The ultimate test of her vocation comes from the unlikeliest source when she finds herself falling in love again. As she struggles to discern where she belongs, she discovers the terrifying truth of Abbess Theodora’s warning. For better or for worse.
Words: 96,706 (approximate)
In a world increasingly connected to computers and machines but disconnected to self and others, Dr. Michele Stewart finds herself drowning in a life that no longer holds meaning. Searching for a deeper connection after losing her partner, Alice, she enters a contemplative monastery, living a life dedicated to prayer, to faith in things unseen. Though most of her family and friends are convinced that she has become a nun to run away from her life, she finds herself more attuned to life than she has been in years. Stripped of the things that define most people in the outside world – career, clothing, possessions – she rediscovers a long forgotten part of herself. But sooner than she expects, the outside world intrudes, forcing her to confront doubts and demons she thought she had left behind. The ultimate test of her vocation comes from the unlikeliest source when she finds herself falling in love again. As she struggles to discern where she belongs, she discovers the terrifying truth of Abbess Theodora’s warning. For better or for worse.
Words: 96,706 (approximate)
ebook
First published April 30, 2013
14 people are currently reading
340 people want to read
About the author
Caren J. Werlinger
22 books296 followersFrom the author's website: Bestselling author Caren Werlinger published her first award-winning novel, Looking Through Windows, in 2008. Since then, she has published fifteen more novels, winning several more awards. Influenced by a diverse array of authors, including Rumer Godden, J.R.R. Tolkein, Ursula LeGuin, Marion Zimmer Bradley, Willa Cather and the Brontë sisters, Caren writes literary fiction that features the struggles and joys of characters readers can identify with. Her stories cover a wide range of genres: historical fiction, contemporary drama, and fantasy, including the award-winning Dragonmage Saga, a fantasy trilogy set in ancient Ireland. Most recently, she created the magical setting of Little Sister Island (a place she and her readers wish were real) in When the Stars Sang and Face the Wind.
She lives in Virginia with her wife and their canine fur-children.
She lives in Virginia with her wife and their canine fur-children.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 64 reviews
September 5, 2021
This one wrecked me! I’m a huge Werlinger fan. She’s a wonderful author and a fantastic storyteller, and I’m always excited to see what kind of new journey she will take us on next. While I have not read all of her books, I own the rest of them at this point. It’s very easy for me to press the buy button on any book that has her name on it. While I have had this book sitting on my Kindle for a while, once I realized exactly what it was about, I was a little reluctant to read it. Then I heard that Caren wrote a follow-up book, which is coming out this year, so it finally gave me the kick I needed to read this.
There were two reasons I was hesitant to read this book. One was because of the flashbacks, and I think you all know by now how much I struggle with them. I’m really happy to say that they were not an issue with this book. While I did like the current time storyline better, the flashbacks made sense and they worked in the story. See, I don’t think in general that flashbacks should be used just to convey past info, since there are other ways to do that which would work much better. One example would to be to give us readers a little prologue since it can be a pretty gripping way to start a book off. Anyway, the reason the flashbacks actually worked here is because they were used to tell the story of one of the two romances in this book. In this case, the flashbacks were needed and I don’t think this book would have worked without them.
The other reason I was wary about reading this book is because I was worried it would be too emotional. When I heard there was going to be a follow-up book, I started to think maybe I’m wrong and it won’t be as sad as I’m expecting. Nope! Talk about me being wrong and my first instincts being right. Caren ripped out my heart and happily stomped all over it. This is a well written quality book, but I can’t rate it as high as it really deserves since I’m too heartbroken.
In the end, this was a really well written but very heartbreaking book. I’m even more anxious to read the follow-up book because I have no idea where Caren will take this storyline. This is a book I would recommend as long as you are ready for a very emotional ride. Some of the best books really do break your heart, and I get that, but I must admit I’m a little bit upset with Caren right now.
There were two reasons I was hesitant to read this book. One was because of the flashbacks, and I think you all know by now how much I struggle with them. I’m really happy to say that they were not an issue with this book. While I did like the current time storyline better, the flashbacks made sense and they worked in the story. See, I don’t think in general that flashbacks should be used just to convey past info, since there are other ways to do that which would work much better. One example would to be to give us readers a little prologue since it can be a pretty gripping way to start a book off. Anyway, the reason the flashbacks actually worked here is because they were used to tell the story of one of the two romances in this book. In this case, the flashbacks were needed and I don’t think this book would have worked without them.
The other reason I was wary about reading this book is because I was worried it would be too emotional. When I heard there was going to be a follow-up book, I started to think maybe I’m wrong and it won’t be as sad as I’m expecting. Nope! Talk about me being wrong and my first instincts being right. Caren ripped out my heart and happily stomped all over it. This is a well written quality book, but I can’t rate it as high as it really deserves since I’m too heartbroken.
In the end, this was a really well written but very heartbreaking book. I’m even more anxious to read the follow-up book because I have no idea where Caren will take this storyline. This is a book I would recommend as long as you are ready for a very emotional ride. Some of the best books really do break your heart, and I get that, but I must admit I’m a little bit upset with Caren right now.
September 12, 2021
If you’ve never read a book by Caren J. Werlinger before, here’s what you need to know: she writes beautifully, she doesn’t write romance, her books aren’t always easy to read, they’ll touch your heart by way of your guts and it will be worth it. It might be painful, but it will be exquisite pain.
In This Small Spot was released in 2013, but I was working too much at the time to read anything that wasn’t for work, and I’m still catching up on all the books I missed over the years. With An Unlit Candle coming out at the end of the month, it was time for this one. No way was I postponing a new Werlinger book.
The first time she felt the call, Michele chose university instead. Years later, her life in tatters, she finds her way to St. Bridget’s Abbey, and a new purpose to life. Monastic life isn’t for everyone, as she quickly learns, but, maybe to her surprise, it seems to be for her. If she can reconcile her faith and her queerness, if she can resist incursions from her past, if she can move on…
As I knew it would be, this book was very hard for me to read. At one point, I wondered if I would still be reading if it had been written by someone else. I have no answer. What made me wonder is what do I, a secular Jew from France, care about a Catholic nun in New York? At first sight, the only thing we have in common is our infinite love for a woman.
And it’s not the religion arc that made reading painful. That part was fascinating, more so than I would have thought. I came to care about the whole community of nuns, the organisation, the daily prayers, the small and sometimes insignificant events, the way Michele fits in. Despite her former extremely active and busy life, the contemplative lifestyle suits her and I enjoyed witnessing her finding her place, finding new joy. It’s not a smooth path, making it all the more gratifying.
The part I struggled with was the grief, the loss. Before entering St. Bridget’s, Mickey lived for years with the love of her life, Alice. And Alice died. That’s something my wife and I have been talking about a lot recently. I have anxiety attacks. For all my optimism and positive view of life, my brain, given the slightest trigger, goes straight to the darkest scenarios. A couple of days before I began reading In This Small Spot, I went through ten terribly long, absolutely terrifying minutes during which I was convinced my wife had died (she’s fine, she wasn’t even that late). So yeah, that’s my worst nightmare. And I do not want to not read about a character losing their partner (this word is so bland, so far from what I mean), but these stories are always going to hurt.
The thing with Caren J. Werlinger is that she can write anything, the most difficult story, the deepest, and it will be beautiful. I can’t resist beautiful writing. It’s not just the writing, it’s how she tells the story, how compelling the atmosphere is, how human and relatable the characters are.
As I often write, this book isn’t perfect, but I really really don’t care. I love Mickey, with her at once sweet and dry sense of humour, and most of the nuns (who’d have thought?), especially Sisters Linus and Anselma. I love Alice and Alice’s love for Mickey. I love the journey, all the journeys.
In This Small Spot was released in 2013, but I was working too much at the time to read anything that wasn’t for work, and I’m still catching up on all the books I missed over the years. With An Unlit Candle coming out at the end of the month, it was time for this one. No way was I postponing a new Werlinger book.
The first time she felt the call, Michele chose university instead. Years later, her life in tatters, she finds her way to St. Bridget’s Abbey, and a new purpose to life. Monastic life isn’t for everyone, as she quickly learns, but, maybe to her surprise, it seems to be for her. If she can reconcile her faith and her queerness, if she can resist incursions from her past, if she can move on…
As I knew it would be, this book was very hard for me to read. At one point, I wondered if I would still be reading if it had been written by someone else. I have no answer. What made me wonder is what do I, a secular Jew from France, care about a Catholic nun in New York? At first sight, the only thing we have in common is our infinite love for a woman.
And it’s not the religion arc that made reading painful. That part was fascinating, more so than I would have thought. I came to care about the whole community of nuns, the organisation, the daily prayers, the small and sometimes insignificant events, the way Michele fits in. Despite her former extremely active and busy life, the contemplative lifestyle suits her and I enjoyed witnessing her finding her place, finding new joy. It’s not a smooth path, making it all the more gratifying.
The part I struggled with was the grief, the loss. Before entering St. Bridget’s, Mickey lived for years with the love of her life, Alice. And Alice died. That’s something my wife and I have been talking about a lot recently. I have anxiety attacks. For all my optimism and positive view of life, my brain, given the slightest trigger, goes straight to the darkest scenarios. A couple of days before I began reading In This Small Spot, I went through ten terribly long, absolutely terrifying minutes during which I was convinced my wife had died (she’s fine, she wasn’t even that late). So yeah, that’s my worst nightmare. And I do not want to not read about a character losing their partner (this word is so bland, so far from what I mean), but these stories are always going to hurt.
The thing with Caren J. Werlinger is that she can write anything, the most difficult story, the deepest, and it will be beautiful. I can’t resist beautiful writing. It’s not just the writing, it’s how she tells the story, how compelling the atmosphere is, how human and relatable the characters are.
As I often write, this book isn’t perfect, but I really really don’t care. I love Mickey, with her at once sweet and dry sense of humour, and most of the nuns (who’d have thought?), especially Sisters Linus and Anselma. I love Alice and Alice’s love for Mickey. I love the journey, all the journeys.
August 20, 2021
I had forgotten how Brilliant of a writer Caren Werlinger is!
Reading one of her earlier novels was one of the best decisions I’ve taken lately! (I haven’t been reading much so yes reading now has become a decision hahaha )..
This book is so deep, i couldn’t stop reading it and again as I mentioned, it’s been a while since a book has kept me that engaged. Let me just give you a heads up that it’s definitely not an “easy” read! It’s more of an emotional roller coaster. As my friend Corrie said, this author really knows how to torture her readers :)
But this was such good torture. Her writing is incredible, her characters are so rich and the good part is, she’s got something comping up soon that is apparently related to the same setting! And I personally can’t wait to read it :)
Miss Caren, thank you for such a brilliant read! You have outdone yourself in this one..
Reading one of her earlier novels was one of the best decisions I’ve taken lately! (I haven’t been reading much so yes reading now has become a decision hahaha )..
This book is so deep, i couldn’t stop reading it and again as I mentioned, it’s been a while since a book has kept me that engaged. Let me just give you a heads up that it’s definitely not an “easy” read! It’s more of an emotional roller coaster. As my friend Corrie said, this author really knows how to torture her readers :)
But this was such good torture. Her writing is incredible, her characters are so rich and the good part is, she’s got something comping up soon that is apparently related to the same setting! And I personally can’t wait to read it :)
Miss Caren, thank you for such a brilliant read! You have outdone yourself in this one..
January 30, 2018
Ever read a book where you simultaneously want to kiss and kill the author for what she puts you through? Well, this is one of those books.
After recently reading a very satisfying nun/convent book (see my review https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1... ) I couldn’t kick the habit just yet and so this title was on my short list ;-)
I was swept up in the life of surgeon Michele (Mickey) Stewart. Author Caren J. Werlinger does a wonderful job combining two storylines (flashbacks of her life with her partner Alice) and her present life where she enters the convent to become a nun. Normally I’m not a fan of flashbacks but this was done smoothly and gave us a better understanding of Michele’s frame of mind and what made her decide to choose to give it all up (as an atheist I really struggled to agree with her decision, but I kept an open mind).
This is not your typical f/f romance. The story is told over the period of 5 years as Michele adjusts to convent life, her spiritual journey of questioning, reflection and love. It was an inspiring read. But also plenty of drama and heartbreak. I loved it a lot, soaked it all up. Even that damned end that made me sob felt like the book was more whole because of it (shakes fist at author). If you are tough enough to handle I dare you to read this book.
f/f
Themes: ermagherd!, these nuns are going to be the death of me, a right kick in the gut, this is no light romance novel and my poor heart couldn’t bare to read these every week, but sometimes the hurt hits you just right, like this one.
5 stars
After recently reading a very satisfying nun/convent book (see my review https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1... ) I couldn’t kick the habit just yet and so this title was on my short list ;-)
I was swept up in the life of surgeon Michele (Mickey) Stewart. Author Caren J. Werlinger does a wonderful job combining two storylines (flashbacks of her life with her partner Alice) and her present life where she enters the convent to become a nun. Normally I’m not a fan of flashbacks but this was done smoothly and gave us a better understanding of Michele’s frame of mind and what made her decide to choose to give it all up (as an atheist I really struggled to agree with her decision, but I kept an open mind).
This is not your typical f/f romance. The story is told over the period of 5 years as Michele adjusts to convent life, her spiritual journey of questioning, reflection and love. It was an inspiring read. But also plenty of drama and heartbreak. I loved it a lot, soaked it all up. Even that damned end that made me sob felt like the book was more whole because of it (shakes fist at author). If you are tough enough to handle I dare you to read this book.
f/f
Themes: ermagherd!, these nuns are going to be the death of me, a right kick in the gut, this is no light romance novel and my poor heart couldn’t bare to read these every week, but sometimes the hurt hits you just right, like this one.
5 stars
October 25, 2021
Caren Werlinger has the grace of turning the ordinary into the extraordinary. Nothing is mundane in her stories. Every detail, each comment, the settings all figure into the telling. All of her characters profoundly matter.
Mickey is complex, almost 40, was married, and also full steam ahead into her career as a surgeon but then she experienced the worst of heartbreaks. Now, in the midst of grief, she reimagines her life, resigning from medicine to follow a spiritual calling. Mickey’s journey is painful but also fulfilling as she grows in her new life as a nun in a contemplative order.
The book is not a lark. It’s stunningly layered and rich with memories, regret, love stories that tether forever and even a bit of humour to keep the book from being too much. A fantastic read that lifted my spirits but also broke my heart.
Mickey is complex, almost 40, was married, and also full steam ahead into her career as a surgeon but then she experienced the worst of heartbreaks. Now, in the midst of grief, she reimagines her life, resigning from medicine to follow a spiritual calling. Mickey’s journey is painful but also fulfilling as she grows in her new life as a nun in a contemplative order.
The book is not a lark. It’s stunningly layered and rich with memories, regret, love stories that tether forever and even a bit of humour to keep the book from being too much. A fantastic read that lifted my spirits but also broke my heart.
August 11, 2021
Caren Werlinger has a new novel coming out this fall which ties into the world she created with In This Small Spot. I’ve enjoyed many of this author’s recent novels but had yet to read some of her earlier work. I had no idea what an emotional rollercoaster this read would be and am now looking forward to her new release.
My first exposure to monastic life was courtesy of The Sound of Music. My favourite scene from that movie was the nun who hid the car parts up the sleeve of her habit. There are many humourous moments in this book too along with much food for thought. The women who choose to join a contemplative order like St. Bridget’s Abbey do so for many reasons. Dr. Michele (Mickey) Stewart has lost her beloved Alice. Her work as an oncology surgeon has crushed her spirit. After many discussions with the Abbess she leaves her worldly possessions behind to begin her spiritual journey. I was fascinated with the structured life filled with work and prayer and the bonds formed by these earnest women. Flashbacks from her life before her years spent at the Abbey act as a reflecting pool in this new life Mickey has chosen.
This is not some dull, religious book. It’s filled with great characters, dramatic moments and high emotion. There are gut-punch moments that will leave you in tears and there are moments of true love to cherish. It’s a great read.
A copy of this book was given to me for an honest review.
My first exposure to monastic life was courtesy of The Sound of Music. My favourite scene from that movie was the nun who hid the car parts up the sleeve of her habit. There are many humourous moments in this book too along with much food for thought. The women who choose to join a contemplative order like St. Bridget’s Abbey do so for many reasons. Dr. Michele (Mickey) Stewart has lost her beloved Alice. Her work as an oncology surgeon has crushed her spirit. After many discussions with the Abbess she leaves her worldly possessions behind to begin her spiritual journey. I was fascinated with the structured life filled with work and prayer and the bonds formed by these earnest women. Flashbacks from her life before her years spent at the Abbey act as a reflecting pool in this new life Mickey has chosen.
This is not some dull, religious book. It’s filled with great characters, dramatic moments and high emotion. There are gut-punch moments that will leave you in tears and there are moments of true love to cherish. It’s a great read.
A copy of this book was given to me for an honest review.
September 12, 2021
5+ stars
In a previous review of one of Caren Werlinger's books, I said that I believed she will go down as one of the greatest lesbian storytellers in history and how fortunate we are to be living in a time when she is actively writing. And every time I read another of her books, she keeps proving me right.
While my usual go-to genre is romance, that's not what Caren writes. She writes love stories. Like the best of classic literature. Very strong on story. Deeper than most. And the emotion she pulls from the reader is breathtaking!
I just finished reading this and actually feel physical effects from it. There's a tremor running through me. On the surface, you wouldn't think that a story set primarily in a contemplative monastery about a woman trying to figure out her place in life would be something that would appeal. But this is one of those that truly moves you, that won't be easily shaken from your thoughts. That makes you want to alternately hug and strangle Werlinger for the emotional journey she takes you on. It's not light or happy-go-lucky. It's substantial. It's heart wrenching. It's gorgeous writing. And it should be read. I'm off to think about this one some more.
Looking forward to her follow-up of this work, An Unlit Candle, to be released in a few short weeks.
In a previous review of one of Caren Werlinger's books, I said that I believed she will go down as one of the greatest lesbian storytellers in history and how fortunate we are to be living in a time when she is actively writing. And every time I read another of her books, she keeps proving me right.
While my usual go-to genre is romance, that's not what Caren writes. She writes love stories. Like the best of classic literature. Very strong on story. Deeper than most. And the emotion she pulls from the reader is breathtaking!
I just finished reading this and actually feel physical effects from it. There's a tremor running through me. On the surface, you wouldn't think that a story set primarily in a contemplative monastery about a woman trying to figure out her place in life would be something that would appeal. But this is one of those that truly moves you, that won't be easily shaken from your thoughts. That makes you want to alternately hug and strangle Werlinger for the emotional journey she takes you on. It's not light or happy-go-lucky. It's substantial. It's heart wrenching. It's gorgeous writing. And it should be read. I'm off to think about this one some more.
Looking forward to her follow-up of this work, An Unlit Candle, to be released in a few short weeks.
January 14, 2015
Oh my god, how could one author write such wonderful, high calibre stories?! Again, In This Small Spot is a heavy hearted read. After witnessing Mickey and Lauren overcome all the obstacles, when you are congratulating, wishing them well on their reunion, the author deals another blow. Nevertheless, this is a highly recommended reading for anyone interested in lesbian fiction. It's bound to be a book which you will remember.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 15, 2019
If this were the Medieval times Caren J. Werlinger would have been a cherished story teller. In The Small Spot tells one woman’s story of her life and loves. It is a rich mosaic which weaves you into its deep folds. You become entrenched in Mickey’s life riding her ups and downs. Hopefully, like me, you will lose your heart to Mickey.
They say a sign of a good book is that the characters stay with you long after you close the back cover. In The Small Spot will echo in my heart for a long, long time.
They say a sign of a good book is that the characters stay with you long after you close the back cover. In The Small Spot will echo in my heart for a long, long time.
May 25, 2013
I liked how the transitions to the past flowed smoothly from the present and back, how even the events inside the monastery spanned years the story didn't drag, how even if the story didn't end like I wanted it to, it didn't feel tragic. It's a "whole" book. Its spirituality was touching, its characters inspiring.
June 21, 2014
This is a brilliantly written heart wrenching book about love and loss, set in an Abbey and built around a woman’s battles to survive bereavement and come to terms with her faith.
Dr Michelle Stewart looses everything when her life partner dies of cancer. She is adrift and lost in a world she no longer feels a part of. More than anything losing her partner makes her question the point of her vocation as a cancer surgeon, and her faith. She finds St Bridget’s Abbey by chance, feels pulled towards it and the peace it seems to offer.
So she gives up career, possessions, friends and family to see how monastic life will fit. And in doing so takes us into a world of women, isolated, cut off to a large degree, and choosing to take vows of poverty, chastity, silence and obedience. From of this life choice we see the nuns and novitiates struggling to overcome themselves, everything from chatting to being nosy to gossiping to wanting closeness and falling in love. As Micky goes through these emotions herself we are shown how even the women who have been in the Abbey for years struggle – it is clear the battle is never won, and even the elderly nuns can fall prey to pride and jealousy.
All of this is done by a combination of internal monologues, subtle interactions and flashbacks to Mickey’s life and loss. The flashbacks show us the powerful woman Mickey was in her profession and her life, they throw into stark relief how much the loss of her wife has changed and undermined her, destroying her belief in her work and herself.
The characters of Mickey and the nuns around her, as well as the small family connections, are wonderfully drawn. Built up over layers of time and small interactions we get to know the core of many of the women. This one is jealous of her place, this one homophobic, another struggling with abstinence and so on. Each one a whole, but delineated by a battle. Ms Werlinger pulls out the essence of each character and reveals it with the thoughts and actions of women caught in an enclosed space and microcosm of society.
Despite the small setting there is a strong plot, following Mickeys internal journey, but also her external change. From the flashbacks we get to see her bigger life story, from the gradual integration in the community we see her become a central figure in the life of many and an important part of the fabric of the Abbey.
This is not a happy story, however. It is dominated by loss, doubt, struggle and self-confinement. For those of us who do not understand or empathize with the decisions these women have made it is an interesting read, but I found it a profoundly uncomfortable one. For me personally I found myself repeating the thought “Why” throughout the book. Not why did the author write that, but why would these women choose this life. And the ending was, for me, extremely painful. Not all stories end well, and I suspect others would say we should take the joy somebody finds as enough. But for me it was a difficult read.
However, don’t let my personal reaction put you off. It is a very interesting story, well though through and profoundly moving. The characters are exquisitely drawn, subtle, emotive and sympathetic. The writing is quite beautiful, fine brush strokes on a small piece of ivory. And if nothing else it made me look at my own life choices and appreciate my freedoms.
Dr Michelle Stewart looses everything when her life partner dies of cancer. She is adrift and lost in a world she no longer feels a part of. More than anything losing her partner makes her question the point of her vocation as a cancer surgeon, and her faith. She finds St Bridget’s Abbey by chance, feels pulled towards it and the peace it seems to offer.
So she gives up career, possessions, friends and family to see how monastic life will fit. And in doing so takes us into a world of women, isolated, cut off to a large degree, and choosing to take vows of poverty, chastity, silence and obedience. From of this life choice we see the nuns and novitiates struggling to overcome themselves, everything from chatting to being nosy to gossiping to wanting closeness and falling in love. As Micky goes through these emotions herself we are shown how even the women who have been in the Abbey for years struggle – it is clear the battle is never won, and even the elderly nuns can fall prey to pride and jealousy.
All of this is done by a combination of internal monologues, subtle interactions and flashbacks to Mickey’s life and loss. The flashbacks show us the powerful woman Mickey was in her profession and her life, they throw into stark relief how much the loss of her wife has changed and undermined her, destroying her belief in her work and herself.
The characters of Mickey and the nuns around her, as well as the small family connections, are wonderfully drawn. Built up over layers of time and small interactions we get to know the core of many of the women. This one is jealous of her place, this one homophobic, another struggling with abstinence and so on. Each one a whole, but delineated by a battle. Ms Werlinger pulls out the essence of each character and reveals it with the thoughts and actions of women caught in an enclosed space and microcosm of society.
Despite the small setting there is a strong plot, following Mickeys internal journey, but also her external change. From the flashbacks we get to see her bigger life story, from the gradual integration in the community we see her become a central figure in the life of many and an important part of the fabric of the Abbey.
This is not a happy story, however. It is dominated by loss, doubt, struggle and self-confinement. For those of us who do not understand or empathize with the decisions these women have made it is an interesting read, but I found it a profoundly uncomfortable one. For me personally I found myself repeating the thought “Why” throughout the book. Not why did the author write that, but why would these women choose this life. And the ending was, for me, extremely painful. Not all stories end well, and I suspect others would say we should take the joy somebody finds as enough. But for me it was a difficult read.
However, don’t let my personal reaction put you off. It is a very interesting story, well though through and profoundly moving. The characters are exquisitely drawn, subtle, emotive and sympathetic. The writing is quite beautiful, fine brush strokes on a small piece of ivory. And if nothing else it made me look at my own life choices and appreciate my freedoms.
August 15, 2016
I will start saying that this is not your typical lesbian romance. For starters, a catholic twentieth century abbey is not the typical setting for a lesbian romance story. But is the quality of the writing what makes this sweet and tragic love story, an outstanding book.
The main flaw of the book are its main characters, whom the author portray as perfect souls, almost saints, specially Michelle. This is a typical flaw of most lesbian romance stories and, in my opinion, makes them extremely unrealistic. There are also, other minor coincidences, that diminish the credibility of the story, but, if you can overlook these flaws, you have here a truly must read lesbian romance.
The main flaw of the book are its main characters, whom the author portray as perfect souls, almost saints, specially Michelle. This is a typical flaw of most lesbian romance stories and, in my opinion, makes them extremely unrealistic. There are also, other minor coincidences, that diminish the credibility of the story, but, if you can overlook these flaws, you have here a truly must read lesbian romance.
April 25, 2017
A beautifully well written story. Be prepared to go on an emotional rollercoaster in a calm and contemplative manner - you need to read it to understand.
August 30, 2021
Exceptional and DEEPLY MOVING. It made me long for that spiritual connection I've been putting off for years... Needless to say, this book inspired and moved me like no other book has made me before.
October 3, 2021
It is not a religious book, but the plot takes place in such an environment. It is not a romance novel, but love is on every page of it. It is definitely a feminine story about everything that touches a woman’s heart and soul.
Right, heart and soul are what the book is mostly about. Mickey has always had a vocation to serve God. As a marvellous surgeon and Alice’s wife, she found happiness, peace, and love from God. She stopped thinking about devoting her life to God’s service then. However, life is not a constant thing. Becoming a widow has changed Mickey’s attitude. She discerned her vocation and joined St. Bridget’s Abbey.
At approximately 30% of the book, I learnt what the ending would be. The temptation NTF this was very strong because I was not sure if I could handle such strong emotions right then. As I already fell for Mickey, I guess I needed some time to adjust and go on reading. It was worth it.
Mickey’s journey to become a nun tells us more details about the abbey’s everyday life. It is amazing how hard the nuns have to work. The chores fulfil their days, months, years. They experience joys and dramas like everybody else. Some situations seem unbelievably hard. However, all the problems are sorted out in the company of others. Never alone. This is what I learnt from it – to never isolate one’s troubles from people. Most life's successes come from participation in a group.
Also, what I have learnt from Mickey’s joyful, sometimes naughty interactions with nuns, that our every deed counts. It causes an avalanche of consequences, either good or bad. I love Mickey’s attitude towards life obstacles, her professional skills and being responsible for her actions. Of course, there are many other characters worth discussing here, but I’d like to keep it short and stick to the substance.
Actually, I love the book as a whole, despite some factual inaccuracies that, I assume, appear as an artistic expression which is more important here than tenets.
Right, heart and soul are what the book is mostly about. Mickey has always had a vocation to serve God. As a marvellous surgeon and Alice’s wife, she found happiness, peace, and love from God. She stopped thinking about devoting her life to God’s service then. However, life is not a constant thing. Becoming a widow has changed Mickey’s attitude. She discerned her vocation and joined St. Bridget’s Abbey.
At approximately 30% of the book, I learnt what the ending would be. The temptation NTF this was very strong because I was not sure if I could handle such strong emotions right then. As I already fell for Mickey, I guess I needed some time to adjust and go on reading. It was worth it.
Mickey’s journey to become a nun tells us more details about the abbey’s everyday life. It is amazing how hard the nuns have to work. The chores fulfil their days, months, years. They experience joys and dramas like everybody else. Some situations seem unbelievably hard. However, all the problems are sorted out in the company of others. Never alone. This is what I learnt from it – to never isolate one’s troubles from people. Most life's successes come from participation in a group.
Also, what I have learnt from Mickey’s joyful, sometimes naughty interactions with nuns, that our every deed counts. It causes an avalanche of consequences, either good or bad. I love Mickey’s attitude towards life obstacles, her professional skills and being responsible for her actions. Of course, there are many other characters worth discussing here, but I’d like to keep it short and stick to the substance.
Actually, I love the book as a whole, despite some factual inaccuracies that, I assume, appear as an artistic expression which is more important here than tenets.
January 3, 2022
This will forever be the book I was reading when I learnt that the iconic Betty White passed away... And as Mickey came to terms with her loss and adjusting to her new life, I found myself grieving for my own losses this past year - my grandmother, my aunt and my brother-in-law's father.
I'm not a Catholic and I've never quite understood many of the Catholic Church's practices, but I am familiar with the power of prayer and God's grace which is not restricted to denomination or doctrine and both are beautifully illustrated in this book.
And as I finished the book, I found (to my surprise) a small spot of hope in my heart for the year to come...
I'm not a Catholic and I've never quite understood many of the Catholic Church's practices, but I am familiar with the power of prayer and God's grace which is not restricted to denomination or doctrine and both are beautifully illustrated in this book.
And as I finished the book, I found (to my surprise) a small spot of hope in my heart for the year to come...
December 25, 2022
Really stunning book, that had me hooked from the start. Highly emotional, beautiful written - definitely top five of all read this year. Highly recommended.
June 2, 2013
After the death of her beloved partner, Doctor Michele Stewart finds herself looking for a way out of her meaningless life without Alice in it. There has to be something she can do, but what? After some serious soul searching, Michele finally decides to become a nun. She will dedicate her life to God, prayer and all things spiritual.
Michele’s family and friends are convinced that she’s running away from her previous life because she can’t live without Alice.
Michele’s decision to become a nun allows her to finally discover her true self. She no longer has her career, wealth or any of her former possessions, but she is surrounded by love and and inner peace.
Unfortunately, Michele’s inner peace doesn’t last long when troubles and woe from the outside world come crashing in upon her. Michele now has many more demons to confront, including finding herself in love. A forbidden love that will result in her having to leave her safe haven if she acts up on it.
Tormented beyond reason, Michele must decide where she belongs and with whom. As Michele struggles to come to a decision, she begins to understand Abbess Theodora’s warning. For better or worse.
This is Caren Werlinger’s third published book. Just like it’s predecessors, I couldn’t put it down. The story is a well written page turner from the very first page through to it’s climatic and dramatic conclusion.
Being perfectly honest, when I read the synopsis, my heart was in my mouth. I’m not at all religious and I really didn’t know how I was going to read what I thought was a book all about nuns, let alone write a review on it. Well, let me tell you, it was easy. You don’t have to be religious to read this heart felt, often at times, heart breaking story. Although the settings are mainly in the abbey, the story does go far beyond the abbey and religion.
I don’t want to put in any spoilers, the synopsis is enough, so suffice it to say, that getting to know these characters was a privilege and an honor for me. Reading this story is likewise.
There are lessons to be learnt in this story. It’s a story of great changes in the characters lives, the risks they take and most of all the costs involved in taking these risks. (I don’t mean monetary costs either).
I won’t lie, the story isn’t a light hearted fluffy romance. There are plenty of those out there if that is what you are looking for. This is a thought provoking story which has left me a little breathless and stunned. A story, that several days after reading it, I’m still thinking about it and the wonderful characters as well.
I will be putting this book in my re-read folder. It is a keeper and deserves multiple readings.
Michele’s family and friends are convinced that she’s running away from her previous life because she can’t live without Alice.
Michele’s decision to become a nun allows her to finally discover her true self. She no longer has her career, wealth or any of her former possessions, but she is surrounded by love and and inner peace.
Unfortunately, Michele’s inner peace doesn’t last long when troubles and woe from the outside world come crashing in upon her. Michele now has many more demons to confront, including finding herself in love. A forbidden love that will result in her having to leave her safe haven if she acts up on it.
Tormented beyond reason, Michele must decide where she belongs and with whom. As Michele struggles to come to a decision, she begins to understand Abbess Theodora’s warning. For better or worse.
This is Caren Werlinger’s third published book. Just like it’s predecessors, I couldn’t put it down. The story is a well written page turner from the very first page through to it’s climatic and dramatic conclusion.
Being perfectly honest, when I read the synopsis, my heart was in my mouth. I’m not at all religious and I really didn’t know how I was going to read what I thought was a book all about nuns, let alone write a review on it. Well, let me tell you, it was easy. You don’t have to be religious to read this heart felt, often at times, heart breaking story. Although the settings are mainly in the abbey, the story does go far beyond the abbey and religion.
I don’t want to put in any spoilers, the synopsis is enough, so suffice it to say, that getting to know these characters was a privilege and an honor for me. Reading this story is likewise.
There are lessons to be learnt in this story. It’s a story of great changes in the characters lives, the risks they take and most of all the costs involved in taking these risks. (I don’t mean monetary costs either).
I won’t lie, the story isn’t a light hearted fluffy romance. There are plenty of those out there if that is what you are looking for. This is a thought provoking story which has left me a little breathless and stunned. A story, that several days after reading it, I’m still thinking about it and the wonderful characters as well.
I will be putting this book in my re-read folder. It is a keeper and deserves multiple readings.
June 17, 2018
A deeply moving, beautifully written story. Makes me regret that I've never even visited a monastery!
August 22, 2021
I write this review as a member of Rosie’s Book Review Team and thank her and the author for this opportunity.
This is the fourth of Werlinger’s novels I read, and although the setting and the central theme of the story is quite different to that of the others, I also enjoyed immensely, and I’m sure it won’t be the last (if I can help it).
This is not a new novel, but the author is due to publish a companion novel (I don’t know much about it, so I’m not sure if it’s a sequel, a prequel, or something else) in the next couple of months and wanted to remind her readers of it, and also, hopefully, get new readers to discover it.
The description provides enough information for readers to get a good sense of what is to come, but I’ll add a few of my thoughts. Michelle (Mickey), the main character, is a successful surgeon, who also teaches at an important medical school, and who often worked with cancer sufferers. She had lived for many years with her partner, Alice, who had died from cancer a few years back by the time we meet her in the novel. She doesn’t suddenly decide to leave everything and go to the convent, as some of her friends and people who knew her might think, as we learn that she had thought about it when she was much younger, just out of high school, but decided to go to university, study, and then met her partner. The book is narrated in the third person, mostly from Mickey’s point of view, although there are some chapters where the third person becomes that of an outside observer with some moments of insight into one of the characters’ minds (I’m being a bit cryptic, but I don’t want to reveal any spoilers). The novel initially alternates chapters from the now of the action (from the time when Mickey is setting off to go enter the convent), with others from her life before that, offering us an insight into her relationship with Alice, her interaction with others, and also Alice’s illness and its aftermath. There is no confusion between the different chapters and timelines, and the format works well to offer us a good understanding of what Mickey’s life had been like before and how she got to the convent, while also learning about convent life and about the process of her integration into the religious community.
Faith, vocation and spirituality play an important part in the novel, as you can easily imagine, but you don’t need to practise Roman Catholicism or be particularly religious to enjoy the book. Anybody who has wondered about the meaning of life or spiritual matters would find much to identify with in the pages of this book. This novel is about the journey of a particular woman struggling with grief, trying to recover her zest for life, and to discover what is really important for her. Her life outside was full of stress and pressures, but although life in a convent is completely different, it is not without its challenges, and she discovers that you cannot hide from yourself, and you cannot put off dealing with things and people forever, however difficult and painful they might be. And, a convent is not a place where everybody is perfect, tolerant, and patient either, as she soon finds out. There is prejudice, pettiness, likes and dislikes, and the enclosed atmosphere and the fact that you are forced to live together with people you might not have chosen makes it all the harder, amplifying annoyances that you might, otherwise, have easily dismissed. But, there are some wonderful moments, and the novel is also full of joy, beauty, inspiration, and a few laughs.
We get to know Mickey quite well, and although I’ve read that some reviewers disliked her, that was not my case. Having worked as a doctor and left Medicine as well, I felt particularly drawn to her, perhaps because I was aware of some of the challenges of the profession, and although she is far from perfect and can be annoying at times, she does try to do what she thinks is right, even when it is not what might come naturally or make her happy. She is far from humble and doesn’t always ask for help when she should, but she tries her best, and she has a sense of humour and is always ready to to help others, even those she doesn’t particularly like. She discovers that there are plenty of things she has to deal with before she can truly move on, and she struggles with her feelings and emotions. I did find her a believable character, and I got to feel for her, as I did for the rest of the convent. We don’t get to know all the other characters as well, but I grew fond of the convent and its inhabitants, as I did of Mickey’s brother, of Alice’s sister, and of some of the other characters who make brief appearances. I particularly enjoyed the way the author creates a powerful picture of the abbey and its inhabitants, and I loved the sense of community, the different roles and personalities, and the way they all find a place and become a part of something bigger.
The writing is beautiful, as I have come to expect from this writer, and although this is not a page-turner in the traditional sense (much of what happens is everyday and not the stuff of adventure books or thrillers), it flows well and it has a sense of rhythm to go with the seasons and with the character’s experiences. There are melodramatic moments as well, when life puts not only Mickey but others also, to the test. And don’t expect everything to go smoothly and a traditional happy ending. This is not a fairy tale, and I have seen that some readers felt disappointed when they got to the ending. No, this is not the typical lesbian romance novel, H.E.A and all. Tears also make an appearance. To be fair to Werlinger, though, even if we might have missed the clues, what happens is not surprising or totally unexpected. And, personally, I thought the ending was more than appropriate and quite optimistic, in a bitter-sweet way.
I always advise possible readers to check a sample of the book, if they can, to decide if the writing style suits them, and that applies here as well. I highlighted a lot of sentences and paragraphs that seemed particularly beautiful to me and/or gave me pause, and I have chosen a few to give you an idea of what to expect.
But remember that an abbey is not a place where you can run from yourself. Quite the contrary. Having stripped away the disguises and distractions of the outside world: clothes, career, material possessions, the true you is most often magnified, for better or for worse.
Prayer wasn’t dependent upon the skill of the person offering the prayer; it wasn’t limited geographically or physically; it wasn’t even limited by reality or any of the laws of science.
The two people in our lives who could never be married gave us the best example of how to build a life together as completely equal partners.
Sometimes God knocks us off our feet with something dramatic, but, in my experience, more often, he simply whispers and waits for us to be quiet enough to hear.
Any warnings? Well, this is not a “clean” novel, and although there is no violence, there are some hard scenes to do with injuries and sickness and the odd swear word. There are also some mild lesbian sex scenes (nothing full blown or explicit), and there is much talk about grief, illness, and death of loved ones, so those who could be badly affected by these topics might want to skip it or wait until they feel they are in a better place. As I have said, I found it quite hopeful and inspiring, so I wouldn’t discount it just because of the storyline, either.
I recommend this novel to people who enjoy beautiful writing, reading about enclosed communities (particularly of women), those who might feel curious about monastic life (I’ve always been), and anybody interested in characters going through major changes and crisis in their lives. The author explains in her acknowledgments that she had thought about becoming a nun when she was younger, had researched the topic at the time, and she also had family connections in the church, so this is a book born of her personal search as well as a work of fiction. It works wonderfully on both counts, and I can’t wait for her next book.
This is the fourth of Werlinger’s novels I read, and although the setting and the central theme of the story is quite different to that of the others, I also enjoyed immensely, and I’m sure it won’t be the last (if I can help it).
This is not a new novel, but the author is due to publish a companion novel (I don’t know much about it, so I’m not sure if it’s a sequel, a prequel, or something else) in the next couple of months and wanted to remind her readers of it, and also, hopefully, get new readers to discover it.
The description provides enough information for readers to get a good sense of what is to come, but I’ll add a few of my thoughts. Michelle (Mickey), the main character, is a successful surgeon, who also teaches at an important medical school, and who often worked with cancer sufferers. She had lived for many years with her partner, Alice, who had died from cancer a few years back by the time we meet her in the novel. She doesn’t suddenly decide to leave everything and go to the convent, as some of her friends and people who knew her might think, as we learn that she had thought about it when she was much younger, just out of high school, but decided to go to university, study, and then met her partner. The book is narrated in the third person, mostly from Mickey’s point of view, although there are some chapters where the third person becomes that of an outside observer with some moments of insight into one of the characters’ minds (I’m being a bit cryptic, but I don’t want to reveal any spoilers). The novel initially alternates chapters from the now of the action (from the time when Mickey is setting off to go enter the convent), with others from her life before that, offering us an insight into her relationship with Alice, her interaction with others, and also Alice’s illness and its aftermath. There is no confusion between the different chapters and timelines, and the format works well to offer us a good understanding of what Mickey’s life had been like before and how she got to the convent, while also learning about convent life and about the process of her integration into the religious community.
Faith, vocation and spirituality play an important part in the novel, as you can easily imagine, but you don’t need to practise Roman Catholicism or be particularly religious to enjoy the book. Anybody who has wondered about the meaning of life or spiritual matters would find much to identify with in the pages of this book. This novel is about the journey of a particular woman struggling with grief, trying to recover her zest for life, and to discover what is really important for her. Her life outside was full of stress and pressures, but although life in a convent is completely different, it is not without its challenges, and she discovers that you cannot hide from yourself, and you cannot put off dealing with things and people forever, however difficult and painful they might be. And, a convent is not a place where everybody is perfect, tolerant, and patient either, as she soon finds out. There is prejudice, pettiness, likes and dislikes, and the enclosed atmosphere and the fact that you are forced to live together with people you might not have chosen makes it all the harder, amplifying annoyances that you might, otherwise, have easily dismissed. But, there are some wonderful moments, and the novel is also full of joy, beauty, inspiration, and a few laughs.
We get to know Mickey quite well, and although I’ve read that some reviewers disliked her, that was not my case. Having worked as a doctor and left Medicine as well, I felt particularly drawn to her, perhaps because I was aware of some of the challenges of the profession, and although she is far from perfect and can be annoying at times, she does try to do what she thinks is right, even when it is not what might come naturally or make her happy. She is far from humble and doesn’t always ask for help when she should, but she tries her best, and she has a sense of humour and is always ready to to help others, even those she doesn’t particularly like. She discovers that there are plenty of things she has to deal with before she can truly move on, and she struggles with her feelings and emotions. I did find her a believable character, and I got to feel for her, as I did for the rest of the convent. We don’t get to know all the other characters as well, but I grew fond of the convent and its inhabitants, as I did of Mickey’s brother, of Alice’s sister, and of some of the other characters who make brief appearances. I particularly enjoyed the way the author creates a powerful picture of the abbey and its inhabitants, and I loved the sense of community, the different roles and personalities, and the way they all find a place and become a part of something bigger.
The writing is beautiful, as I have come to expect from this writer, and although this is not a page-turner in the traditional sense (much of what happens is everyday and not the stuff of adventure books or thrillers), it flows well and it has a sense of rhythm to go with the seasons and with the character’s experiences. There are melodramatic moments as well, when life puts not only Mickey but others also, to the test. And don’t expect everything to go smoothly and a traditional happy ending. This is not a fairy tale, and I have seen that some readers felt disappointed when they got to the ending. No, this is not the typical lesbian romance novel, H.E.A and all. Tears also make an appearance. To be fair to Werlinger, though, even if we might have missed the clues, what happens is not surprising or totally unexpected. And, personally, I thought the ending was more than appropriate and quite optimistic, in a bitter-sweet way.
I always advise possible readers to check a sample of the book, if they can, to decide if the writing style suits them, and that applies here as well. I highlighted a lot of sentences and paragraphs that seemed particularly beautiful to me and/or gave me pause, and I have chosen a few to give you an idea of what to expect.
But remember that an abbey is not a place where you can run from yourself. Quite the contrary. Having stripped away the disguises and distractions of the outside world: clothes, career, material possessions, the true you is most often magnified, for better or for worse.
Prayer wasn’t dependent upon the skill of the person offering the prayer; it wasn’t limited geographically or physically; it wasn’t even limited by reality or any of the laws of science.
The two people in our lives who could never be married gave us the best example of how to build a life together as completely equal partners.
Sometimes God knocks us off our feet with something dramatic, but, in my experience, more often, he simply whispers and waits for us to be quiet enough to hear.
Any warnings? Well, this is not a “clean” novel, and although there is no violence, there are some hard scenes to do with injuries and sickness and the odd swear word. There are also some mild lesbian sex scenes (nothing full blown or explicit), and there is much talk about grief, illness, and death of loved ones, so those who could be badly affected by these topics might want to skip it or wait until they feel they are in a better place. As I have said, I found it quite hopeful and inspiring, so I wouldn’t discount it just because of the storyline, either.
I recommend this novel to people who enjoy beautiful writing, reading about enclosed communities (particularly of women), those who might feel curious about monastic life (I’ve always been), and anybody interested in characters going through major changes and crisis in their lives. The author explains in her acknowledgments that she had thought about becoming a nun when she was younger, had researched the topic at the time, and she also had family connections in the church, so this is a book born of her personal search as well as a work of fiction. It works wonderfully on both counts, and I can’t wait for her next book.
December 20, 2021
6 stars. I’ve been crying for the past half hour and I just can’t stop. My God did this book destroy me and I loved every moment of it. It hurt like hell but it was so beautiful and worth all of the tears that I shed. So many tears shed.
Werlinger’s writing is absolutely stunning. The characters are all so real and likable. Everyone has depth. I loved the way the flashbacks were implemented and how unconventional and unique (and absolutely heartbreaking wtf) this romance was. Michele (a*k*a Mickey) lost her girlfriend four years ago and she is still grieving. She joins a monastery and I really came to care for all of the nuns there. While there she meets and falls in love with Laura and it was lovely. And then Werlinger decided to kick me in the chest and now I’m not okay.
I haven’t cried this hard at a book in a very long time but this was such an amazing story of grief, loss, self discovery, love, and religion. I had every intention of jumping immediately into the companion novel An Unlit Candle but my heart can’t take another bruising like that right now. I’m gonna need something light and fluffy after this but I cannot recommend this book enough. It’s so moving and gorgeous and devastating and real. Loved it!
Werlinger’s writing is absolutely stunning. The characters are all so real and likable. Everyone has depth. I loved the way the flashbacks were implemented and how unconventional and unique (and absolutely heartbreaking wtf) this romance was. Michele (a*k*a Mickey) lost her girlfriend four years ago and she is still grieving. She joins a monastery and I really came to care for all of the nuns there. While there she meets and falls in love with Laura and it was lovely. And then Werlinger decided to kick me in the chest and now I’m not okay.
I haven’t cried this hard at a book in a very long time but this was such an amazing story of grief, loss, self discovery, love, and religion. I had every intention of jumping immediately into the companion novel An Unlit Candle but my heart can’t take another bruising like that right now. I’m gonna need something light and fluffy after this but I cannot recommend this book enough. It’s so moving and gorgeous and devastating and real. Loved it!
February 12, 2015
What a read! This is the first book I have read by this author. I plan to read others. I willingly road the emotional rollercoaster provided by the author. She pulls you in as she describes the surroundings, circumstances and characters. Once you are invested, the author will not let you go as she describes a life of questioning, reflection, passion, religious life, and love. Simply stated, life happens.
July 29, 2014
Just finished this carefully crafted and richly textured novel, which left me filled with appreciation. It's an intimate, sometimes painful, journey with women we have all known. This is a book I will humbly revisit.
September 6, 2014
Great Story! It took me longer than usual to read this book, but that was because I didn't want it to end. Great story- great characters- beautiful setting.
November 2, 2021
In This Small Spot is a beautifully written and emotional story following the life choices, ups and downs, and introspections of Dr Michele Stewart, a renowned oncology surgeon. Several years after losing her much loved partner, Alice, to cancer, she questions her role as a doctor and her place in the medical profession.
After leaving school Michele (Mickey) toyed with the idea of becoming a nun but decided to go to university and later met Alice. Now, needing something to give her life some meaning she again contemplates the life of a nun. Many conversations with Mother Theodora later, Mickey decides to enter St Bridget’s Abbey as a postulant.
'Several seconds passed as Mother Theodora searched Mickey’s eyes. “I know you mean that, Mickey. But remember that an abbey is not a place where you can run away from yourself. Quite the contrary. Having stripped away the disguises and distractions of the outside world: clothes, career, material possessions, the true you is most often magnified, for better or for worse.”'
The story is multi-layered, very atmospheric, written with depth and told in the present with flashbacks to Mickey’s life with Alice, showing the kind of woman she was before shock and grief began to chip away at her confidence and belief in her work. She feels the need to re-assess, to try and work out where she belongs, hoping this spiritual journey will help to clarify what is important and the right path to take, even though she’s aware it’s likely to be a struggle.
The characters are wonderfully drawn, complex and in the main sympathetic, finding themselves at St Bridget’s Abbey for various reasons and not all of them, including Mickey, finding it easy. There are questions and sometimes doubts arise. Human emotions are evident — homophobia, envy and intolerance, to name a few — although in some cases tightly controlled. There is drama, bonds formed, humour, love and unexpected and shocking events, along with the structured everyday life of the nuns, which is fascinating.
Mickey is a realistic and relatable character, struggling with her emotions and choices. As time passes she becomes more adaptable and aware, and always ready to help others as the sense of community deepens. But the world outside the abbey creeps in, testing Mickey and forcing her to make choices she wouldn’t have imagined.
I had to sit with this story for a while and it’s one that will stay with me for a good while. I’ve only read one of Caren Werlinger’s books before this one, but it’s something I’ll be rectifying as soon as I can.
After leaving school Michele (Mickey) toyed with the idea of becoming a nun but decided to go to university and later met Alice. Now, needing something to give her life some meaning she again contemplates the life of a nun. Many conversations with Mother Theodora later, Mickey decides to enter St Bridget’s Abbey as a postulant.
'Several seconds passed as Mother Theodora searched Mickey’s eyes. “I know you mean that, Mickey. But remember that an abbey is not a place where you can run away from yourself. Quite the contrary. Having stripped away the disguises and distractions of the outside world: clothes, career, material possessions, the true you is most often magnified, for better or for worse.”'
The story is multi-layered, very atmospheric, written with depth and told in the present with flashbacks to Mickey’s life with Alice, showing the kind of woman she was before shock and grief began to chip away at her confidence and belief in her work. She feels the need to re-assess, to try and work out where she belongs, hoping this spiritual journey will help to clarify what is important and the right path to take, even though she’s aware it’s likely to be a struggle.
The characters are wonderfully drawn, complex and in the main sympathetic, finding themselves at St Bridget’s Abbey for various reasons and not all of them, including Mickey, finding it easy. There are questions and sometimes doubts arise. Human emotions are evident — homophobia, envy and intolerance, to name a few — although in some cases tightly controlled. There is drama, bonds formed, humour, love and unexpected and shocking events, along with the structured everyday life of the nuns, which is fascinating.
Mickey is a realistic and relatable character, struggling with her emotions and choices. As time passes she becomes more adaptable and aware, and always ready to help others as the sense of community deepens. But the world outside the abbey creeps in, testing Mickey and forcing her to make choices she wouldn’t have imagined.
I had to sit with this story for a while and it’s one that will stay with me for a good while. I’ve only read one of Caren Werlinger’s books before this one, but it’s something I’ll be rectifying as soon as I can.
April 28, 2019
Beautiful!
To say I loved In This Small Spot is not enough. This story is so incredibly moving. So much about human resilience, relationships, and everyone’s relationship to God. This book moved me so much.
To say I loved In This Small Spot is not enough. This story is so incredibly moving. So much about human resilience, relationships, and everyone’s relationship to God. This book moved me so much.
April 18, 2021
So much can happen in the very small spot when the heart is of life is that spot.
The journey Caren Werlinger asks you to go on is different in each book with the guarantee that your heart will find emotions of all kinds. This story is full of such thoughtfully deep emotion I felt overwhelmed with love. Mickey brought a certain kind of life when you met her. No strangers to the difficult moments of life the surgeon but losing Alice changed her. A lifetime of achievements as a surgeon were not enough to keep her going. St. Bridget and the monastic life of a nun in community had always lived in her heart. I can not give away the richly experienced journey she had their not the lives that were touch. Meeting Sister Anselma would alter the time and bring healing in so many ways. The characters are are strong women faced with a life not imagined. I was not prepared for the ending but I am rarely prepared for all this author brings to a story. The life lessons, the shear joy of a life well lived and love in its deepest forms. I loved the chapters that spoke of Alice and Mickey's life and cherished the life shared at the Abby. I am never disappointed when reading this author. Her stories take me on a loving journey my heart can't take sometimes but the stretch is divine in all spots big or small.
The journey Caren Werlinger asks you to go on is different in each book with the guarantee that your heart will find emotions of all kinds. This story is full of such thoughtfully deep emotion I felt overwhelmed with love. Mickey brought a certain kind of life when you met her. No strangers to the difficult moments of life the surgeon but losing Alice changed her. A lifetime of achievements as a surgeon were not enough to keep her going. St. Bridget and the monastic life of a nun in community had always lived in her heart. I can not give away the richly experienced journey she had their not the lives that were touch. Meeting Sister Anselma would alter the time and bring healing in so many ways. The characters are are strong women faced with a life not imagined. I was not prepared for the ending but I am rarely prepared for all this author brings to a story. The life lessons, the shear joy of a life well lived and love in its deepest forms. I loved the chapters that spoke of Alice and Mickey's life and cherished the life shared at the Abby. I am never disappointed when reading this author. Her stories take me on a loving journey my heart can't take sometimes but the stretch is divine in all spots big or small.
September 26, 2021
I doubt I'll ever read another book again by this author. And that surprises me considering I've already read 8 prior to this one. The author completely broke trust with me as a reader. Never mind the fact that as an agnostic I was reading a church book, I can actually get past that. But the ending wasn't necessary in any stretch of the imagination. It was written in a way to say, "Let's fuck with the readers as much as possible." To me that's toxic. I want nothing to do with it. It was bad enough there was ZERO chemistry between the mains, or that it was church-centric. I was actually contemplating giving this at least 3* by the way that I felt about it. Then BLAAM a thing happened. And I just shook my head. It didn't 'further the plot' or round out the story in a way that made a loose end tied up. It was just there to screw with the reader. Like I said, toxic. Since that trust is senselessly broken I'll not even try again. Never mind the follow up to this book.
February 16, 2023
If you have religious trauma this is a good book to help heal some old wounds. ⛪️
The church and the nuns show love and support to physician Mickey. She’s a lesbian that’s grieving the loss of her partner and decides to join the commune and leave her surgical practice behind. The main character is just a saint and I love her! So are all the sisters. And it’s like duh, of course they are, their nuns.. but they never come across holier than thou.
true character development throughout and the connections made formed a family in that sacred space. Its more than a love story. Healing and growth, love and loss, leads to a vulnerability that highlights kindness and humility toward others in this beautiful book.
Kind of the same vibe as call the midwife.
And fyi for some reason I was transfixed in the thought that the main character Mickey would be played by Gwendoline Christie!!(ya know, from game of thrones, Brienne)
The church and the nuns show love and support to physician Mickey. She’s a lesbian that’s grieving the loss of her partner and decides to join the commune and leave her surgical practice behind. The main character is just a saint and I love her! So are all the sisters. And it’s like duh, of course they are, their nuns.. but they never come across holier than thou.
true character development throughout and the connections made formed a family in that sacred space. Its more than a love story. Healing and growth, love and loss, leads to a vulnerability that highlights kindness and humility toward others in this beautiful book.
Kind of the same vibe as call the midwife.
And fyi for some reason I was transfixed in the thought that the main character Mickey would be played by Gwendoline Christie!!(ya know, from game of thrones, Brienne)
October 20, 2021
„In This Small Spot” by Caren J. Werlinger is not a lesbian romance story, even though it involves two romances between women, it actually is a lesbian fiction drama with religious inflexions that will turn your world upside down and only to prove that in life we have many chances to be wonderful people and to love more than just once in a lifetime, but also to make the wrong choices and suffer their consequences.
Caren J. Werlinger and Elena Graf have all these things in common: women loving women, flawed characters, religion, books that are not romances. That is why I like them both and I appreciate their existence in lesbian fiction.
„In This Small Spot” by Caren J. Werlinger is a heart opening story and there are more than just one wistful characters set in the center of the whole spiritual universe of a convent for nuns.
I liked the fact that the story that happens now and the main character’s chance to fulfill her vocation to become a nun and the chance to a new love is entwined with glimpses of the her past and these flashbacks tell the step by step story of her past and the love she has lost. The stories go hand in hand and only at the end of the book, the reader finds disclosure in both cases. This is a very original way to see someone’s life story. I love that about Caren J. Werlinger’s writing style, she is a very gifted writer, but also a thinker, because she writes pretty serious and complex characters, intelligent women with deep thinking and difficult stories.
The writing is wonderful and the one of a kind characters do make the story even more exquisite, because they have all these doubts, all these questions about the life in a convent and the one outside it, also they question God’s acceptance to their loves and then there are good/bad choices to make.
I finished the book at 3 a.m. in the morning, I couldn’t put it down. Mickey’s story was breathtaking, mesmerizing and dramatic, even tragic at some points.
Michele „Mickey” Stewart was a successful surgeon until tragedy struck her life and she returned to her first calling: being a nun in a convent. She first felt the calling to become a nun at eighteen years old, but she didn’t listen to it and she chose to go to college instead. She became a surgeon and had a wonderful life with Alice, until tragedy struck their lives and Mickey couldn’t understand what happened to her and couldn’t live the life she had and one day she got lost on a walk from her brother’s house and found St. Bridget’s Abbey in New York State and talked to Mother Theodora.
Mickey is in an emotional turmoil and buried herself into her work to help patients. But, she has her first case of malpractice and she is really torn, as she feels she can’t really help the patients enough by doing her job as a surgeon and that perhaps, she could do a better job by praying for them and this way help them spiritually. This is one of the reasons she enters St. Bridget’s Abbey as a postulant at thirty eight years old.
Here her whole universe changes, even though she knew a glimpse of it at her first try to enter a convent, but she had other convictions now and is a different woman now.
The monastic life is not for everyone, yet Mother Theodora and all the sisters seem to have created a modern monastic lifestyle which helped Mickey to find her way and reconcile faith with being gay.
She found in Mother Theodora a life changing human being and a wonderful discussion partner. Also, the other nuns/sisters were special human beings and amazing women: sister Lucille, sister Rosaria, sister Fiona, sister Ignatius, sister Stephen, sister Renatta, sister Regina, sister Anselma, sister Teresa, sister Helen, sister Mary David, sister Margaret, sister Ignatius, sister Cecilia, sister Scholastica, sister Linus and father Andrew who was the assigned priest of the convent. They have a procedural life and live it with a smile on their faces (most of the time), being happy to serve God. They understood the sacrifices it takes to live the monastic life and they try to give a good example to all the novices.
There are many life changing events in both stories having Mickey in the center of them. After all she lived through, Mickey has a new purpose in life and I liked how the sisters helped her to overcome her unresolved emotional issues that she suppressed easily when she used to be a surgeon.
The author touches all the points of what it means to give up an active, rich life outside the convent and to accept the contemplative monastic lifestyle, following the daily rituals, the prayers, the retreats and when a full nun, you have to give up all your earthly belongings.
Mickey went through all this and even more, the grief, the drama and the tragedy she went through with Alice were hard to read about, but it made her more complex and flawed.
Mother Theodora and sister Anselma were absolutely stunning characters in the monastic atmosphere and outside of it.
I learned so much about monastic life from this book and also, the characters showed how humane and flawed the sisters sometimes are. And all the sacrifices and the hard choices they have to make to fulfill their destinies.
I am looking forward to read Mother Theodora’s story in „An Unlit Candle” the author released in 2021.
„In This Small Spot” was written in 2001 and released in 2013.
I recommend this book a great time, especially for readers who like lesbian fiction dramas with religious inflexions and intelligent women who love women. (Inkmarks on empty dreams)
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