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288 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2014
“I never expected to find myself here, on the edge of the continent--childless, possibly jobless, with broken bones and a broken marriage, citizen of a broken country. But here I am, and I must make something of it. That's really the only choice one has: make something of it, or don't.”
"We understand the possibility of change up to a point. We are not prepared for, what we lack the capacity to imagine, is a seismic shift. The wall coming up or down, the decades-old dictatorship falling, the familiar bonds disintegrating."
"But there's no emergency kit for marriage. No neat plan you can turn to when the ground shifts beneath your feet."
All the echoes one hears by the age of forty. When you’re young, everything seems new. When you’re in your mid-twenties, it begins to dawn on you that the world is full of surprise repetitions, a face recalls some other face, a novel some other novel, a song an entire summer or an old relationship. By your late thirties, it seems the world is made of these echoes. A patient in his late eighties once told me that old age is like living inside a déjà vu.Every book should come with its own playlist. This book has a wonderful one that created many echoes for me too. In this prescient vision of dystopia that doesn’t sound different from the US today, a newly divorced and freshly injured woman is walking, limping, dragging herself across San Francisco to deliver her younger sister’s baby. Her memories as she travels upward are a not particularly linear collage of many elements - time, history, fear, grief and sadness, music, especially music. All these memories are stories she tells herself to block out the pain and anxiety, as we all do: telling stories, and living with the stories we’ve told, helps us find our balance, peeling the layers off, knowing that what’s in the centre will make us cry but bring things more clearly into focus. I struggled with the whiplash timelines here until I let go of the need to have everything in order. There are just so many things going on here but all these many directions seem to make the book more than the sum of its parts. I had to spend extra time to read carefully but was rewarded with some little hidden elements, one in particular near the end, that lifted this book way up for me. Recommended, and don’t miss that playlist.
An important part of creating an old identity was gradually erasing the old one. You plant new stories like seeds, water them, tend them, until they take root.