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Published March 1, 2022
"I could never and would never go back to a selfish asshole like him. As soon as this is over, whatever this is, I'm never going to have anything to do with you assholes ever again. You and your little boys' club where you think wearing leather vests and having ridiculous nicknames and riding Harleys magically turns you pansy-ass bitches into actual men are all out of my life."
Saying I'm sorry for pulling you into my life was a straight up lie. While I was sorry for all the ways she was hurt because I'd involved her in my life -- and that pain was very real and went deep -- I was not sorry I became involved with her. Was it possible to make that distinction? Could I be sorry for the one thing but not the other? The biggest question I had, the one that was taking all my focus, though, was the question I was left with when I boiled everything down: could Breah ever forgive me for any of this?
"She writes poetry. It's some good shit, too, and I thought this would be a good way to show her I have a softer side. Like I'm in touch with my motherfucking emotions. And what better way to do that than to write poetry for her?"... **There once was a girl name of Breah, Who never had had gonorrhea, She had really nice tits, When she sat on my dick. She made me yell out mama mia!**
"So, Breah, just so we're clear, I love my son more than life itself. No doubt about how much I love him. But I love you more than life itself, too...and a little bit more. I'll tell you straight up, I want to build a life together, I want you by my side, and I want children with you. And you would never come second to Garrett or to any other children we had. As my wife, you'd always be top priority. So when I say that you're priority one, that's no lie and I mean that whole heartedly."
"Even if you don't believe it, I love you. I don't have pretty words to make it sound all...all fluffy," and he fucking did jazz hands, "but I love you and it's deep and it's real and it's forever." The president of the Lords of Misrule MC just did jazz hands while explaining to me that he didn't know how to tell me he loved with fluffy words. I had to press my lips together to stop myself from smiling at the picture he made, and I tried instead to focus on the words he was saying. Objectively, they were beautiful and heartfelt and sincere. I just didn't know if they were enough.
"Now you know everything, Breah, and it's a long list of things you didn't know before. You know I lied to you, you know why, you know I have a son and you know what our MC does after hours. Most importantly, you know I love you, and you also know I'll always put you first. I'll never hide anything from you again. You know how sorry I am, and I've opened every aspect of my life to you because I don't want any secrets between us ever again. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I hope you believe me when I tell you there's nothing I want more, sweetheart."