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260 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 10, 2013
“You see a hurricane coming, you run.” My mom told me, the summer I turned eighteen.
“You shut the doors, and you bar the windows. Because come morning, there’ll be nothing but the wreckage left behind.”
Emerson Ray was my hurricane.
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I finally phased out the anti-depressants, but my panic attacks keep coming around. I can never tell when one’s going to hit. I’ll just be walking down the hallway to class, and suddenly, my heart will start thumping, and the world starts to spin. It’s like an iron band is wrapped around my chest, crushing me, and I’m so caught up in the panic, I feel like I’m going to die. Every time.
“You’re mine,” he says again fiercely. “Not his, not anyone else’s. You can try and pretend you don’t feel it, but you do. You’ll always be mine.”
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Emerson looks at me like I’m a goddess, like I’m water, and he’s been roaming in the desert for a thousand years in search of just one drop. Like it takes everything in him not to devour me right there
where I stand.
Like he sees my soul: raw, and damaged, and wanting. And he loves me all the same.
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“You want a reason?” Emerson flares with anger. “Hell, try a hundred! We wouldn’t make it,
Jules, any fucking fool could see that. We were crazy to think we could even try!”
“You’re wrong.” I shake my head stubbornly. “I love you!”
“And what good does that do?” Emerson yells back. “Look at our parents, at your mom. You’ve
been telling me all this time how loving your dad destroyed her. Love drags you down, if it lasts at
all. All the good turns to shit in the end, and then there’s nothing left but misery!”
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The knowledge I’m not enough for him to love.
Not enough for my mom to live for.
I’ll never be enough.
But Emerson doesn’t flinch, and when he looks back at me, his eyes are dead behind those velvet lashes, so cold in the way I’ve only ever seen once before.
The last time he left me.
A storm of emotion comes crashing around me, my heartbeat roaring in my ears. “You’re doing it again,” I whisper, gripped with a dread so cold I can’t feel my arms or legs. “You’re ending it.”
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“Tell me!” I demand, so close now. “Tell me how you feel, for real this time. No lies! Because whatever happens, I’m yours. I’ll always be yours!”
This time, my words break through. I see the last defenses in his eyes come crashing down. With a growl, Emerson throws the box to the side and sweeps me into his arms.
“I love you.” Emerson chokes out, his voice thick with passion. “I never stopped loving you! Not
even when you were gone, not one single day.”
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"Muscle memory, they call it; when you do something so many times, that it becomes automatic, beyond all rational thought. To be so close to him, and not reach out… Hold him… Kiss him. It takes all the self-control I have not to give in to the temptation.
I can see it in his eyes, Emerson feels it too. And he was never about the self-control"
"Open your eyes." Emerson‘s growl is sharp.
My eyes fly open—staring straight into his. My breath catches at the intensity of his gaze. It‘s burning, fierce, like it‘s taking everything he has not to tear my clothes off this very second.
"Say 'no'." Emerson‘s whisper is thick with desire.
I blink, my mind foggy and confused.
"Tell me 'no', and I'll stop."
”My mom always said , there are two kinds of love in this world, the steady breeze, and the hurricane.”
”I was done with reckless, I wanted safe and sure and true. Emerson made sure of that.”
”You’re mine, he says again fiercely. “Not his, not anyone else’s. You can try and pretend you don’t feel it, but you do. You’ll always be mine.”
”…he sees my soul; raw and damaged, and wanting. And he loves me all the same.”
”Tell me how you feel, for real this time. No lies!”
Emerson looks at me like I’m a goddess, like I’m water, and he’s been roaming in the desert for a thousand years in search of just one drop. Like it takes everything in him not to devour me right there where I stand.
Like he sees my soul: raw, and damaged, and wanting. And he loves me all the same.
“You’re mine,” he says again fiercely. “Not his, not anyone else’s. You can try and pretend you don’t feel it, but you do. You’ll always be mine.”
“I’ll always want you, Juliet. It’ll be the fucking death of me, but I won’t ever stop.”
I can tell, he doesn’t want to feel this way, like I’m a burden he has to carry, and although part of me has felt just the same, it fills me with sadness.
Is that what we are to each other now, the curse that can’t be broken?”
"Tell me 'no'."Yeah, that's not happening. What's my other option?
"You're mine. Not his, not anyone else's. You can try and pretend you don't feel it, but you do. You'll always be mine."And that's about where I completely melted into a puddle of goo.