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341 pages, Paperback
First published March 27, 2014
But my heart isn't simple or straightforward. It's a complicated mess of wants and needs, boys and girls: soft, rough, and everything in between, an ever-shifting precipice from which to fall.
“Her fingers bite into my arm, and I squeeze her wrist tight where I'm holding on to her, because this is what we're good at: hurting each other.”
“But my heart isn't simple or straightforward. It's a complicated mess of wants and needs, boys and girls: soft, rough, and everything in between, an ever-shifting precipice from which to fall.”
“We walk into the rest of our lives together, not knowing it'll end before it's truly started.”
Mina hides behind her secrets and I wither away my soul with pills, and we are Just Fine, Thank You. Reckless girls dancing down dirt roads, waiting to be saved from ourselves.
Everything about me is tired and cracked and hungry. In more ways than one. In all ways that are bad.
Nine months. Two weeks. Six days. Fourteen hours.
With my addiction tackled, now they’re setting out to fix me completely. A New and Improved Sophie. Whole and mended, with no jagged edges or sharp points. Someone who doesn’t look like she knows how death feels.She's also having to face her family who all think she relapsed and is the reason her best friend is dead. Through that, we see how much addiction can fracture a family, which, speaking from experience, as someone who has been both the addicted, and trying to help a loved one still in the grasp of addiction, that'll fracture a family a fucking lot.
“It was Mina this whole time, wasn’t it?”
I give him the only thing I can: the cold, hard truth. The one that’ll rewrite every memory he has—of him and me, her and me, the two of them, all three of us: “It’ll always be Mina.”
She smiles, open and encouraging. “Best of both worlds, I guess.”
It makes me laugh, the sound bursting out of me like truth. It makes me want to cry and thank her. To tell her that I’ve never told anyone before, and to tell it and have it be accepted like it’s no big deal feels like a gift.
Mina led, and I followed. She hid, and I was her shelter. She kept secrets, and I guarded them. Mina lied, and so did I. Sometimes we were downright ruthless to each other.
For once, it isn’t some cotton-candy idea of her; it’s who she was, in all her maddening, heart-squeezing truth.
“I’ll choose you,” I say. “No matter how hard it is. No matter what people say. Every time, I’ll choose you. It’s up to you to choose me back.”
Mina likes to play with fire.
But I’m the one who gets burned.