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332 pages, Paperback
First published October 21, 2014
We might have been on the outside looking in at our own families and our own lives, but at least we could stand outside together.
“You are the last person I want to kiss. The last woman I want in my bed. I want you to be the last girl that touches any and all parts of me, Salem, and that means so much more than a first.”
"You sort of feel like where I always wanted to be."
I wanted to soothe him but I also wanted to watch what happened when someone with that much untapped potential was set free. I wanted to live through him and stand beside him so I could feel what finally being untethered from the chains of conformity felt like. I also wanted to hug him and tell him it was okay to be sad, to be angry, to be lost and frustrated. I wanted to tell him he was all right just the way he was, like I so desperately longed to hear.
It was so hard to keep the memories at bay once the door they had all been closed behind was flung open. One after another they chased me across all of my waking hours and danced behind my eyelids at night.
"There are a million first girls for a million different things. There's the first girl you slow-dance with, and the first girl you go to bed with. There's the first girl to give you a kiss, and then the first one you take home to your mama. There's the first girl you fight with and the first girl you fight for. There's also the first girl you have to let go of. There's the first girl you love, obviously, and the first girl to break your heart. There's always a first girl, Rowdy, but there is also the girl that is going to come after her until you get to the last girl. The last girl is the one that really matters."
It might be wild, uninhibited, and a little dirty, but sex with him still felt like a safer place than I had ever been before.
We just fit. For every thrust, every tilt of the hips, every touch of a mouth on a needy body part, the other had the perfect response. She moved with me, held on to me, and used her body to make it more than sex. I felt her inside of me somewhere making a place for herself.
"You always made me stronger than I ever was alone. I've always needed a reason to stay; with you that has never been the case. With you staying is the only option I have because the only place I want to be is wherever you are at."
"It might have taken me a long-ass time to figure out the difference between first love and real love, but, Salem, there is nothing more real than what I feel for you."
“I always thought it was the firsts that matter, but now I know that it’s the lasts that stay with you… I want you to be the last girl that touches any and all parts of me, Salem, and that means so much more than a first.”
“Salem, however, had been my confidante, my confessor, and maybe most importantly she had offered a lonely and unwanted boy friendship and acceptance. She was my very best friend and I was lost without her.”
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“I couldn’t trust myself not to fall back into caring about her, trusting her, being captivated by her, only to have her move on once again, leaving me empty and alone.”
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“Rowdy and I had ties that bound us together, it was just proving more difficult than I thought to unwind them and tie them back up into a pretty bow.”
"We are definitely doing this, we just might not be doing it right all of the time, and that road might have a speed bump or two."
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“something was happening between us that had shades of the past and flavors of the future all mixed together in one giant ball of emotion and experience.”
“I just wanted to be around you all the time because it was like having the warm rays of the sun touch everything that was so cold inside of me.”
“We looked good together naked. I liked the way our ink blended together into one giant mural.”
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