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***This novel contains graphic sexual content and harsh language. It is only appropriate for adult readers age 18+.

Have you ever been so angry that hitting things felt good? Or so numb that you actually felt high? The past few years have been like that for me. Traveling between fury and indifference with no stops in between.

Some people hate me for it, while others are scared of me. But none of them can hurt me, because I don't care about anything or anyone.

Except Tatum.

I love her so much that I hate her. We used to be friends, but I found out that I couldn't trust her or anyone else.

So I hurt her. I pushed her away.

But I still need her. The sight of her centers me, and I can pool all of my anger into her. Engaging her, challenging her, bullying her...they are my food, my air, and the last part of me that feels anything human.

But she left. She went to France for a year, and came back a different girl.

Now, when I push, she pushes back.

406 pages, ebook

First published February 18, 2013

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About the author

Penelope Douglas

39 books72.2k followers
Penelope Douglas is a New York Times, USA Today, and Wall Street Journal bestselling author. Their books have been translated into nineteen languages and include The Fall Away Series, The Devil’s Night Series, and the stand-alones, Misconduct, Punk 57, Birthday Girl, Credence, and Tryst Six Venom. Please look for The Hellbent Series, coming next.

They live in New England with their husband and daughter.

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5 stars
25,198 (47%)
4 stars
17,806 (33%)
3 stars
8,031 (15%)
2 stars
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1 star
642 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 3,546 reviews
Profile Image for Kristen.
834 reviews4,769 followers
November 21, 2015
4 Amazingly Written Stars!!!

I'll be honest, after reading this book, I STILL DO NOT LIKE JARED–hence the only reason I didn't give this book 5 stars–and, frankly, I continue to struggle to understand WHY Tate would want to take him back after the way he BULLIED her for years. However, that doesn't negate the fact that this is by far the best his-side-of-the-story I've read to date! Holy cow! Penelope Douglas did an amazing job writing Jared's story. I still don't like him but I understand him, and wasn't that the whole purpose of this book?

Until You is not just the retelling of Bully from Jared's POV. Until You is fresh, unique, and definitely its own story. It helps readers understand Jared and why he behaved the way he did. It doesn't excuse his actions but gives a better understanding of what motivated them.

Bravo to you Ms. Douglas. You accomplishing what few authors have...writing a superbly written his-side-of-the-story book.
Profile Image for Christy.
3,914 reviews33k followers
February 3, 2015

5 Stars!

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Sometimes, I have issues with 1.5 books that are essentially the first book from a different p.o.v. Luckily, this book wasn’t like that. It didn’t feel like Bully from another perspective. You still got the ‘Bully’ story, but there was a lot of new scenes and new information.

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Jared is a bully. He knows it. He’s a bully to one particular person. Tate. Tate was Jared’s best friend for a long time. Then one summer, he went to stay with his father. When he came back, everything changed. Jared was a different person. He dealt with things the only way he knew how. By making Tate’s life hell.

I won’t rehash the entire story. If you’ve read Bully, you know the gist. If you haven’t, check it out (or my review of Bully). Just know that Jared goes through some big changes and revelations.

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Seeing Jared grow and evolve as a person was a wonderful thing. I loved watching Tate and Jared become friends again, and continue to move forward. Jared has always had feelings for Tate. Even longer than we knew. It was so nice to see inside of his head.

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Books are always better from the male point of view. Always. We already knew why Jared was the way he was to an extent. But to know the full reasons, how he felt, it made more sense. I loved Jared in Bully. Even when I thought he was just a straight up asshole, I still loved him. There was just something about him. Now, reading this book, it made me love him even more. Could you read this without first reading Bully? Yes. Would I recommend reading Bully first? Yes. This is a fantastic series you won’t want to miss out on. It’s got so many fantastic characters, I’m happy that it’s continuing. I love Jared’s friend Madoc just as much as I love Jared so I can’t wait for his book next!

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Profile Image for Penelope Douglas.
Author 39 books72.2k followers
Shelved as 'finished-writing'
November 24, 2014
Thanks GALORE go out to everyone who read Jared's story! You'll get in his head again with the continuation of his and Tate's story in Aflame. Look for it in April 2015!

(Note: This is not the cover. Just a teaser pic.)
Profile Image for Lana ❇✾DG Romance❇✾.
2,054 reviews12.2k followers
August 20, 2015
5 Stars

Becoming hard at heart isn't an intersection in your brain where you have a choice to turn left or right. It's coming to a dead end, and you just keep going, over the cliff, unable to stop the inevitable, because the truth is you just don't want to.
There is freedom in the fall.

If I'm being perfectly honest, I was actually hesitant to read this. Last time I read a companion novel, the only thing it managed to do was make me hate the heroine with the fire of the worst kind of venereal disease. Not that I'd know what that felt like, but you catch my drift. What I mean to say, is more often then not you're getting the same regurgitated novel you already read but in a different POV. Well this wasn't that at all. Not even a little bit. Not even close. While this is essentially in Jared's POV it's a completely different book. So much so, that you can read it as a standalone, which I wouldn't recommend since you need to see it from Tate's POV first in Bully. You may be asking yourself, why wasn't this just written as an alternating POV initially? Well you, my doubtful friend, clearly haven't read the first book, because then you'd understand that no way would it have had the same effect if you got both their POVs in one book. Nope. This story was meant to be told in two books, it two different experiences, by two very different people.
I wanted her to hurt. I didn't want her to hurt.
I hated her. I loved her.
I wanted to violate her body in a hundred different ways. I wanted to keep her safe.

I fell in love with Penelope Douglas's storytelling in Bully, and the only thing this book managed to do was completely reaffirm that. Everything and I mean everything that I wanted more clarification and answers on in Bully was addressed here. While I adored that book, I found the reasons that Jared gave Tate for his behavior in it a little...weak. I felt like it had to be something more, something bigger for him to flip that switch and be the way he was with her. Until You delivered those answers in spades. Penelope truly allows the reader inside Jared's head and you understand him and all his behavior so much more. Plus I loved getting more of him and Madoc and their banter together.
Anyone who sees the way you looks at her knows you don't want to hook up with her. No, right now you're looking at her like you want to tie her up and give her a big, fat spanking."
Stupid ass.
I wasn't into shit like that, or...I didn't think I was. Never tried it. Might try it, I guess. You should try everything at least once.
Except crystal meth.

What I loved the most about Until You was that it was a totally different experience from Bully. You get to see everything from an entirely different perspective. You also get to see that year that Tate was away in France and the spiral that hit Jared. And get to experience all the events that finally lead up to his epiphany about his feelings for her.
Right at that moment, I wanted everything from Tate. Everything. Her anger and passion, her hate and lust, her body and soul.
I wanted control of all of it

I adored Tate in Bully and I was so happy that didn't change seeing her from Jared's eyes. If anything, it made me like her even more. But what this book managed to do, was endear the reader to Jared completely. The bully that you loved to hate and hated to love in the first book really lets loose his vulnerable side and you appreciate his behavior and the why's of it so much more. It just clicks.
The hair, the outfit, it was the perfect blend of good girl and bad girl, of salvation and danger.
There was no point in lying to myself. As much as I hated her, I wanted a taste of her.

If you're on the fence about reading this, you need to get the fuck off it! Seriously. The only thing this book will do is make you love Bully even more and fall in love with both these characters even deeper than before.

And this is coming from a reader that has a shorter attention span than a fly. If I get a HEA in one book I'm not typically one to read a second book for them. I call it my book ADD. But this incredible book made me change my view on that completely. I'm so glad I experienced it because it only made me love their story that much more. I'm now a huge fan of this author and can safely say that absolutely anything she'll write, I'll read...without a second thought.

Read it. Love it. Trust me.

For more reviews visit
Profile Image for Geri Reads.
1,232 reviews2,063 followers
December 20, 2013
5 never-a-dull-moment stars!! This book was one heck of a ride. Being in Jared's head was at times scary, frustrating, sad, dirty--like really dirty--but still effin' enjoyable. Not to mention this book is HOT! Like really panty-melting and so raunchy, it should be illegal, kind of hot.

First off, I have to congratulate Penelope Douglas for truly giving us Jared's story. This book wasn't a rehash of Bully. While there are plenty of things here that we've already seen/read from Bully, we also get a lot, and I mean, A LOT of new scenes about Jared, about his father, his relationship with his mother, Jax and Madoc. And we really get to know what he's thinking during those times where he made Tate's life miserable.

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Until You starts off with a 10-year old Jared meeting a 10-year old Tate for the first time. It was very cute and we see a glimpses of their relationship prior to the "Bully" years through Jared's memory. It was through this flashbacks that we found out what pushed Jared to make that life-changing decision to spend his summer with his dad when he was 14 and the falling out with Tate afterwards.

And it ain't pretty.


Jared is one angry dude. Really angry. You can feel his anger, his loss of control. He just wants to lash out. The problem is he couldn't lash out at the people who have hurt him and abandoned him, mainly his father and mother. So he focused all his anger at that one person.


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Poor Tate. She took the brunt of Jared's anger without ever really knowing why. All she can do was cry and suffer in silence until she decided to fight back and give Jared the 'middle finger.'

The I-want-you-but-I-hate-you signal coming from Jared drove me batshit crazy at times. But I really can't complain that much since that's one of the best part of this book. Jared tried so hard so hold on to his hate but found himself falling deeper and deeper in love with Tate instead. When he's not being an ass though, Jared can be sweet, funny and protective.

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But what I like best about this book was that despite showing us Jared's atrocious experience at the hands of his father, it was never used as a vehicle to justify Jared's action. In fact, this book shows how illogical Jared's thought process was when it comes to Tate. So if you read this book searching for more answers as to why, you might be disappointed. But that doesn't mean Jared didn't redeem himself. He did. But he redeemed himself by actually admitting it and not because we get a clear cut explanation on why he bullied Tate.

“There are times when we can blame a situation on others, but we own our reactions to them. There comes a point where we are the ones responsible for our choices and excuses don’t carry weight anymore.”

The only thing I didn't like about this book is KC. Yeah. Sorry, but I really didn't buy that making Liam jealous angle. As if she didn't enjoy Jared's attention. *Roll eyes* Okay. So I'm a little jealous of the skank but can you really blame me?

ARC is provided by the author in exchange for an honest review.
I just got my ARC!!!Weeeh!! I can't wait to get inside Jared's head!! Yay!!

The cover is gorgeous by the way! And if you click on the image below, it will take to Chapter One of Until You.

Profile Image for Aestas Book Blog.
1,059 reviews74.9k followers
Want to read
September 10, 2016
Jared's POV from Bully (with new material!)

Have you ever been so angry that hitting things felt good? Or so numb that you actually felt high? The past few years have been like that for me. Traveling between fury and indifference with no stops in between.

Some people hate me for it, while others are scared of me. But none of them can hurt me, because I don't care about anything or anyone.

Except Tatum.

I love her so much that I hate her. We used to be friends, but I found out that I couldn't trust her or anyone else.

So I hurt her. I pushed her away.

But I still need her. The sight of her centers me, and I can pool all of my anger into her. Engaging her, challenging her, bullying her...they are my food, my air, and the last part of me that feels anything human.

But she left. She went to France for a year, and came back a different girl.

Now, when I push, she pushes back.
Profile Image for *TANYA*.
1,002 reviews312 followers
March 31, 2017
Grrr...I have no one to blame but myself!!!! I read Bully and I didn't like it much. Seeing how this book gets such high praises I figured "Ehh, why not?!" Besides, I love the guys POV. LOVE IT!!! That was not the case with this book, it fell apart and got annoyingly cheesy towards the ending.
Profile Image for Rose.
1,879 reviews1,064 followers
December 28, 2013
Initial reaction: Well, at least I gave this read a shot. I read though the whole thing, but it was goodness awful. But I'm going to talk about it like the read I treated it as - mostly through something of an academic/curious filter.

It was rough going though, and I do not understand the appeal of Jared at all.

Full review:

There's much for me to cover in this review, so I won't mince too many words here in establishing the plot, just get right to my reaction for turns of events. I wasn't going to read this given my reaction to "Bully", but considering this was the "hero" follow-up, I decided to bite the bullet and read this purely as a measure of curious/academic discourse. Meaning I read much of this through an emotional filter on purpose to see if "Until You" made the series any better than its first novel by showcasing its respective hero in the front seat. To reveal a bias upfront, I hated Jared's character in "Bully." Hated him to the finest point and I didn't think of him as a proper love interest in the slightest. I wondered how anyone could romanticize a guy who, despite the notation of his tormented past with abuse and neglect, had such an abrasive, control freak personality. I suppose I got my answer in this book with a more intimate perspective of Jared's viewpoint and experiences, but I can't say I'm happy with it at all.

If anything, "Until You" is worse in quality than "Bully." "Bully," to its credit was compulsively readable in places, and Tate's perspective made some turns of it tolerable. This read slow, tedious, and didn't have a sympathetic eye to Jared's perspective point really at all. He's pretty much a possessive, violent control freak with moments of nearly raping Tatum, but yet has the gall to not equate himself with "assholes" who harrass women.

Oh, the ever-loving irony.

Being in Jared's head felt like a poison that I couldn't get out fast enough from. He's worse than Travis Maddox in my opinion. I hate saying that because pretty much in the scheme of New Adult, Travis Maddox (hero from Jamie McGuire's "Beautiful" series) is the template go-to guy for abusive alpha males who are violent, misogynstic jerks who have messed up pasts supposedly. (Only, to be blunt, Travis really doesn't have such a messed up past - he lost his mom and then basically has this abrasive personality all on his own, so...)

Those of you who've read "Bully" already know much of this story at least for Tate's perspective. It's the same script, different cast for the most part, and while I noted the author made the note that this is "Jared's story" and not a retelling - I hate to say it, but this really is a retelling in so many words. It has a lot of new scenes from Jared's perspective point that provide expansions where the first novel did not on his respective character, much much of it is the cross-between points of events that happened in the first novel. It's not a complete copy/pasta, but much of it is retreaded territory. "Until You" is guilty of doing the exact same thing as "Walking Disaster," "Losing Hope," and pretty much any New Adult popular retelling where the hero's in the front seat.

The difference with this novel is that it's not so intricately entwined to the first that you'd miss something if you haven't read the first one. Which, to Douglas's credit, I was able to remember key events in the narrative at the prompting without necessarily going back to the first. But Jared is not as compelling a narrator as Tatum and this read incredibly slow and extremely shallow for emotional quality. There's really very little holding the fabric of this novel together in terms of portraying a sympathetic hero to root for because Jared uses Tate (and pretty much everyone else he knows) like a drug, like a toy to be possessed. He wants to own every part of Tate's life - her fear, her frustration, her anxiety. And even when he starts to see that what he's done to her in terms of her breaking point, it's not a transition that feels all that realistic, just convenient to get the machine in place for their love connections to start.

Jared is a human leech, and he makes no qualms about it in the beginning of this novel (well past the first couple of chapters which establish how Tate and Jared met as kids, but that felt incredibly loose in establishment.) Much of the information on his past is communicated in telling form, not showing, and there were points where I wanted to be in his head for proper character development, but didn't see that. There were others I honestly wanted out of his head because of his controlling, violent demeanor - it was too much and hard to see any sympathetic qualities at all. One of the times when Tatum was being bullied by a group over insults towards her body, on one hand he didn't support that because he loved her body (and continuously reminded the reader of that in distinct objectifications), but he was perfectly willing to let Tate believe what she wanted in terms of his thoughts on the matter, making her hurt worse and gaining gratification from that.

How is this a romantic hero by any measure of the word? Why do people like reading about characters like this? I do not understand it at all. Granted, I can read about problematic characters - there are some very well written problematic characters out there who redeem themselves to great people by the end of the story. But that's not this story at all. This is a pretty shallow narrative that's championing Jared's worse qualities as romanticized, and that's not cool. It's only by the sake of convenience that Jared's portrayed in any kind of redemptive light here. There are points here where he recognizes his wrongs, but it's much like "Walking Disaster" with the portrayal - he feels guilty for the moment, and then the next he's like "Mine, Mine, Mine!" for using whomever he can, whenever he can.

There's a lot of new information shed on Jared's relationship with K.C. in this book, which was ultimately revealed to be a ploy by K.C. to make her old boyfriend jealous. What made it worse was that Jared was perfectly willing to go along with this plan, to use K.C. for her plan and also use K.C. to hurt Tate, to control Tate's emotions and possess her. He didn't want her to belong to anyone. It was so frustrating to read and hard to see how any one this messed up could be worth following in any measure of the word.

There's also information about Jared's little brother Jax and Jared's mother that weren't in "Bully", and that provided some relief, but Jax is pretty much the pawn in the manipulative games that Jared's father - from prison, plays with him. And as for Jared's mother (his poor mother) - Jared disrespects and disregards her every chance he can get.

There's not much more to say about Tatum here than is mostly known from "Bully" - and you get more of a vantage point difference with Jared being on the outside looking into her life. It made me appreciate more , despite Tatum's respective flaws, that she was the better person to follow and that Jared's POV was never needed in the first place.

I don't think this book did much more than confirm that Jared was a worse hero than I believed possible with his respective musings and actions. The set up might have you believe that he's worth redemption because of his so called "tragic past", but while that's explored to a degree, it doesn't make any of his actions justifiable, any of his thoughts have merit, nor are there really very many moments of true redemption here, just championing of flaws that are violent, controlling and really downright offensive to the point of blatant glorification. And yes, the scene where he's forcing himself on Tatum and she pushes against him and tells him to stop comes across as "rapey." It's just as terrible as it was in the first book, only his thoughts make it moreso.

Suffice to say, this is my last following of the series, because I can't say that I want to follow any of the other characters from this series further, even of Madoc gets his own story. I imagine that won't turn out much better either given his portrayal here. =/

Overall score: 0/5 stars
Profile Image for ✰♊ Angie ♊✰.
327 reviews148 followers
September 8, 2017
Considering I'm generally not a big fan of the "#_.5" companion novels of any series since it's typically the story I just read merely from another POV ... I am shocked, y'all... *SHOCKED* that I'm giving this book a 5 star rating. But, here I am... tacking all 5 stars to this bad boy.


Penelope Douglas gave us a unicorn here, folks. One of the few companion books that really friggin' works. I may even like it MORE than I liked Bully. The fantastic thing about this book is that it isn't a case of simply changing the POV, slapping a new cover on it and calling it a "companion". This story has more.


Oh, yes... there's more! And, I will not complain about more Jared.
And Tate.
But, mostly Jared because as I've stated many times before... I'm a sucker for a complete alphahole.

Now, yes, of course we're given the same story concept and major dialogue we had in Bully.


But there are scenes we weren't privy to in Bully and way more important info we weren't given before that we do get in this book. Ergo...


Yep! And, it's fan-fucking-tastic! We also become more acquainted with characters who will most definitely be playing bigger roles in future books.

Listen, peeps... Penelope Douglas is an absolutely engaging writer. She has without a doubt become a one-click author for me. She gives me all the feels with her writing. ALL. THE. FEELS. I can't wait to dive into more of her yummy good books.
Profile Image for Pavlina Read more sleep less blog  .
2,434 reviews4,592 followers
December 17, 2013
I've been waiting for Jared's pov!
The entire time I was reading Bully I kept wondering what was going on in his head..why did he act like that around Tate and how did he really feel, and that is exactly what we get here!! Until you is Jared's story and it was amazing!!


I really enjoyed being in Jared's head. After reading this, I finally have some closure on what was going through his head. Watching him struggle with his feelings of love for Tate, his feeling of abandonment toward his mother and father were really sad :((
Reading about his thoughts, how his feelings and reasoning it made him so much more lovable!!!
Tate was everything to him and deep down he was ashamed for hurting her.
I loved reading how much he wanted her. And of course, I loved reading all the intense, hot moments. The chemistry was so intense and the sex scenes were even hotter than in Bully!!


There are repeated scenes but from Jared's POV. However I never felt that I was reading the same story twice.!!!
I can't wait to read Madoc's story. We get a few hints at Madoc in Until You and I'm really looking forward to learning more about him!! And of course I want to see more about Jared and Tate!! I definitely recommend it to anyone who loved Bully!
March 29, 2017

4 beautiful-mess Stars

While I appreciate the sentiment of the above statement, I also know it to be complete garbage, sometimes. It can cost, a whole hell of a lot, to be kind. Cruelty can be far easier than kindness, especially when it is what has left the most impact on your life. I’m certainly not saying it’s the wise course, but it is a slippery slope that is A LOT easier to fall down than it’s made to seem.

In no way am I condoning Jarod’s behaviour by these remarks. What he did was deplorable! However, under the microscope of the written word and the history of his character, it is understandable. And that is the scary thing about this book for me, probably for a lot of people actually. I am NOT comfortable sympathizing with him as a character.

I was tormented pretty badly during school; I was chased with knives, teased to the point of tears, bitten, clawed and asked out by a boy on a bet. My school years are not the times I look back on and reminisce. I look back on them as something I survived. It would be dishonest of me to say that I never lashed out at others for being tormented, I did. However, I caught myself on that edge and fought my way back to the kind of person I wanted to be. A kind one. Because while I disagree that it doesn’t cost anything to be kind, I DO agree that it is the stronger choice. To face down cruelty with kindness as my only weapon is one of the most foolish endeavours I have ever taken, however, in choosing that I also chose to not allow others to dictate who I would be. I stand by my choice.

Jarod went the other route, and I can’t really blame him for that. Being bullied at home is AWFUL! Lashing out is such a viable choice, and lashing out at those you love is even more likely.

I’m surprised to say that I liked Jarod’s POV in Until You more than I liked Tate’s in Bully. While they take place over the same time frame, for the most part, I found the insight into Jarod’s behaviour both beautiful and disastrous. I’m still curious about the redemption questions I asked when reviewing Bully… however I like the story itself. Even if I find the romantic element rather unbelievable.

Profile Image for ❥ KAT ❥ Kitty Kats Crazy About Books.
2,223 reviews8,029 followers
April 30, 2015
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TITLE: Until You
SERIES: (Fall Away, #1.5)
AUTHOR: Penelope Douglas
GENRE: Contemporary Romance
PUBLISHED: February 18th 2014
MY RATING: ★★★★★

So I'm having a Penelope Douglas marathon this long weekend in hopes that I can finish this whole series!!

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Holy shit 2 down 3 to go!! "Falls of chair" ekkkk I didn't realise there were FIVE books in this series..

Loved loved and freaking loved the fact that Jared got his own book, he needed his story to be told, his side of things, why he was the way he was, in my eyes he totally redeemed himself. He went from a big douche bag to me forgiving all his past bullying tactics..And this is why he got my five stars..A feel good type of read where you just lose seconds, minutes, hours devouring this book until the end..

When I hated Tate, my world got small. I didn't see all the other shit. My mum, my dad, or my brother in foster care, I loved hating her

I forgot to mention this in my review of Bully, but is Madock book boyfriend material or what!! (Claimed him, back off bitches) lol

“Madoc spoke up. This thing?” he started, and I stopped. “With Tate? Why do we do it? I know I’ve asked before, but you don’t tell me shit. I just don’t get it.”
“He’d asked lots of times before, and each time I’d targeted that girl”
“it was for a different reason.
I liked playing games.
I wanted control.
I was protecting her.”

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She went to France for a year, and came back a different girl.
Now, when I push, she pushes back.

Tate was still the same ball buster female as she was in "Bully"

“Ugh!” she growled and slammed her knee right between my legs.”
“My fucking dick was on fire and nausea rolled through my stomach in waves. Holy mother…”
Tatum Fucking Brandt.
She was going to kill me”

Profile Image for Anna.
483 reviews373 followers
December 10, 2013

I loved this book ! I was pleasantly surprised that this book was really fresh .... It wasn't just a retelling of the original story.. This was a juicy and delish spin on getting into Jared's head!,,

“I want to touch you.” His words were against my lips now. “I want to feel what’s mine. What’s always been mine.

“Yesterday lasts forever.

Tomorrow comes never.

Until you.
Profile Image for *J* Too Many Books Too Little Time.
1,921 reviews3,457 followers
April 8, 2014


Obviously this was a re-telling of Bully, I get that. And I really didn't feel like it was the exact same story but it still seemed to be the same thing over and over again.


Jared's reasons for bullying were still...

But don't get me wrong...

I think this was supposed to make KC, Tate's BFF, look better...

In fact, I thought she was an even bigger bitch and

I think had I read this version first I might have liked it better but clearly dual POV would have been

That is all.
Profile Image for Jen .
804 reviews584 followers
December 12, 2013
I LOVED THIS BOOK! I needed Jared' s perspective after reading Bully and I'm so glad Penelope Douglas took the time to write it. I was still a little reluctant to give Jared a free pass on being an asshole douche to Tate for YEARS, but that last scene warmed my cold heart. I can't wait to read Madoc and Jax' s stories.
Profile Image for Katy Loves Romance ❤️.
434 reviews723 followers
April 27, 2015
Alright this is AMAZING what I will say is if you've read Bully you definitely need to read this, I will also say I'm not greatly keen on reading the same story but different pov's in my case too many books too little time. But Bully to me spoke to me in many ways it will definitely hold a place in my heart and although Jared's story goes over certain points that were in Bully, this is 100% Jared's story this is not his POV but really his life, his relationship with his father, his brother, his mother and definitely why he hurt Tate his love for her and why he felt he needed to protect her!! Go read people 5+++++ Stars for me!  photo 16DB64F7-6A97-4982-9B44-2AF8E8B3AB13_zpsvtpicrgy.jpg
Profile Image for Sofia.
705 reviews103 followers
December 20, 2013
Until You Chapter #1

Chapter 1

The blood spills over my lips and onto the floor like a long strip of red paint. I let it pool in my mouth until it dribbles out, since everything hurts too damn much to spit. It’s coming out of my gums and tongue, but I only hope it’s not coming up from my stomach, too.
“Dad, please.” My voice shakes as my body shivers from the fear. I haven’t called him “Dad” in weeks, but I’m so scared. If he can see me as his son, then maybe he won’t hurt us anymore. Maybe he’ll just go back to the couch, drink, and leave us alone.
I kneel on the kitchen floor, shaking, with my hands tied behind my back. The itchy rope bites into my skin, but it doesn’t hurt like everything else.
“Are you begging, you little pussy?” And the strap whips my back again.
I squeeze my eyes shut, wincing, as fire spreads across my shoulder blades. Closing my mouth, I will myself not to make any noise as I breathe through my nose until the burning fades away. I just have to keep my head up. Last time it dipped with the pain, and he kicked me in the face. The skin on my lips feels stretched and swollen, and the slippery metallic taste of blood fills my mouth.
Her face flashes in my mind, and I crawl back into my head where she is. Where we are together. Her sunshine hair floats on the wind as we climb the rocks around the fish pond. I always climb behind her in case she stumbles. Her stormy blue eyes smile down at me.
But my father breaks through. “You don’t beg! You don’t apologize! That’s what I get for letting that cunt raise you all these years. Nothing but a coward now.”
My head jerks back and my scalp stings as he yanks me by my hair to meet his eyes. My stomach rolls when I smell the beer and cigarettes on his breath. I want to breathe though my mouth so I won’t have to smell him, but I am so afraid to open it. Any sound or movement and he might hurt us more.
“At least Jax listens,” he grits out, and my stomach shakes from the nausea. “Isn’t that right, Jax?” he yells over his shoulder.
My father releases me and walks over to the deep freezer in the corner of the kitchen and pounds twice on the lid. “You still alive in there?”
Every nerve in my face fires with pain as I try to hold back tears. I don’t want to cry or scream, but Jax has been in the freezer for almost ten minutes. Ten whole minutes and not making a sound!
Why was my father doing this? Why was he punishing Jax when he was mad at me?
But I stay quiet, because quiet is how he likes his kids. If he gets what he wants, maybe he’ll let my brother out. He has to be freezing in there, and I don’t know if he has enough air. How long can someone survive in a freezer? Maybe he’s already dead.
God, he’s just a little kid! I blink back the tears. Please, please, please…
“So…” My father walks over to his girlfriend Sherilynn, a wacko crack head, and his friend Gordon, a fucking creepy ass lowlife who looks at me weird.
Both sit at the kitchen table enjoying whatever drug is on the menu today, not paying any attention to what is going on with the two helpless kids in the room.
“What do ya’ll think?” He puts a hand on each of their shoulders. “How are we gonna teach my boy to be a man?”
I jerked awake, my pulse pounding in my neck and head. My eyelids were heavy as fuck as I tried to blink away the blur, but I sat up and hurriedly scanned the room anyway. The morning light blared through my window like an air horn, and I brought my hand up to shield my eyes from the painful rays.
I knew my father wasn’t here. I knew Gordon and Sherilynn were long gone, but I could never ignore the nip in my head that told me to always make sure.
So I scanned the room.
The shit on my dresser had been shoved to the floor, but it wasn’t unusual for me to make a mess when I was wasted. Other than some disarray, the room was quiet and safe.
It wasn’t until I’d made a full circle that my eyes finally rested on the lump next to me under the covers. Ignoring the thumping in my chest from the dream, I peeled the blanket back to see who I was dumb enough—or drunk enough—to let spend the whole night at my house.
Another fucking blonde.
What the hell was I thinking?
Blondes weren’t my thing. They always looked like good girls. Not exotic or even remotely interesting. Too pure.
They looked like the girl-next-door type.
And who really wanted that?
But the last few days all I wanted were blondes. It was like I had some sick pull to self-destruct over the one blonde I loved to hate.
But…I had to admit, the girl was hot. Her skin looked smooth, and she had nice tits. I think she said something about being home for the summer from Purdue. I don’t think I told her about me still being in high school. Maybe I’d spring that on her when she woke up. Just for kicks.
I leaned my head back but jerked it up again at the knock on my bedroom door.
“Jared?” my mother called, and I cringed.
My head throbbed like someone had stuck a fork in it all night, and I didn’t want to deal with her right now. But I hopped off the bed anyway and headed for the door before the girl next to me stirred. Opening it just a little, I eyed my mother with as much patience as I could muster.
She was wearing pink sweatpants and a long sleeve fitted t-shirt—nice for a Sunday, actually—but from the neck up, it was a mess as usual. She had her hair stuffed into a bun, and her make-up from the day before was smudged under her eyes.
Her hangover probably rivaled mine. The only way she was up and moving around was because her body was a hell of a lot more used to it.
“What do you want?” I asked.
I think she was waiting for me to let her in, but that wasn’t going to happen.
“Tate’s leaving.”
My heart started thumping in my chest again. Shit, was that today?
“So?” I overloaded on attitude.
She rolled her eyes at me. “So I thought you might get off your ass and say goodbye. She’ll be gone for a whole year, Jared. You were friends once.”
I just shook my head before shutting the door in her face.
Yeah, like I was going to go outside and give Tate a hug goodbye. I didn’t care, and I was happy to be rid of her.
But a lump formed in my throat all the same.
I slumped back against the door, feeling the weight of a thousand bricks fall on my shoulders. I’d forgotten that she was leaving today. I’d been pretty much drunk non-stop since the Beckman party two days ago.
The air in the room got thick, and my chest felt tight. I could hear car doors slamming outside, and I told myself to stay where I was, because I did not need to see her.
“Jared!” I tensed up when my mother called from downstairs. “The dog got out. You better go get him.”
Great. Fucking great.
Wanna bet she let the damn dog out to begin with? And wanna bet she let him out the front door? I pinched my eyebrows so close together that it actually hurt.
Throwing on last night’s jeans, I jerked open the bedroom door, not caring if Purdue girl woke up, and stomped down the stairs.
My mother was waiting by the open front door, holding up the leash for me and smiling like she was so clever. Snatching it out of her hand, I walked outside and over to Tate’s yard.
Madman wouldn’t have gone anywhere else.
“Did you come to say goodbye to me?” Tate knelt on her front lawn near her dad’s Bronco, smiling like it was Christmas morning. Her eyes were squeezed shut as Madman nuzzled her neck, and I swallowed at the sound of her giggle, loving it more than I wanted to admit.
He was happy, too, wagging his tail with giddy delight, and I momentarily felt like I was intruding.
“Oh, well, I love you, too!” She sounded like she was speaking to a child, all sweet and shit, as Madman kept nudging and licking her face.
He shouldn’t love her this much. What had she done for him in the past two years?f
“Madman, come,” I barked, not really to the dog.
Tate’s eyes shifted up to me. “You don’t have to be such a jerk.” She stood up, scowling, and it was then that I noticed what she was wearing.
The Nine Inch Nails t-shirt I’d given her when we were fourteen, and my chest swelled for some stupid unknown reason.
I’d forgotten she had it. Okay, …not really. I guess I didn’t realize that she still had it.
She probably didn’t even remember that I’d given it to her, but I didn’t mind that she still wore it. She could definitely fill out now.
Kneeling down to hook Madman’s leash onto his collar, I fixed her with a very polished, bored expression. “You’re talking again.”
My disinterested tone, though, was a complete lie.
The truth was I lived to mess with her. Even now, knowing that she was leaving for a year, I had a tough time trying to convince myself that she didn’t matter.
I’d be happier without her around, I told myself. She was nothing.
And yet, I heard the little voice in the back of my head. She was everything.
As a childhood friend, she’d been my rock. But as my enemy she’d been my food. She’d been all of my nourishment to keep me strong.
She shook her head, the hurt in her eyes clear as she turned to walk away.
She wasn’t fighting back, I guess. Not today. The party on Friday night must have been a one-time deal.
“Is that what you’re wearing on the plane?” I asked, sneering.
What the hell, dickhead? I should’ve just walked away, but hell, I couldn’t stop engaging her. It was an addiction.
She turned back to me, her fingers fisting up. “Why do you ask?”
“Just looks a little sloppy is all.” But that was a bold-faced lie.
The black t-shirt was worn out, but it clung to her fit body like it was made just for her, and her dark jeans hugged her ass, telling me exactly what she would look like naked. She looked like fire and sugar, and I wanted to gorge and burn at the same time.
“But no worries,” I continued. “I get it.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Get what?”
Leaning in, I taunted her with a smug grin. “You always liked wearing my clothes.” My voice was almost a whisper.
Her eyes widened, and with as pale as her skin was, there was no mistake that she was pissed. It was raging all over her tough little face.
And I smiled to myself, because I fucking loved it.
She didn’t run away, though.
“Hold on.” She held up her pointer finger and turned to walk to the truck.
Digging under the front seat, in the emergency pack her dad kept there, she fished out something and slammed the car door shut. By the time she’d huffed back over to me, I saw that she had a lighter in her hand.
Before I could even register what was happening, she’d peeled off her shirt and exposed her perfect chest in a sexy ass sports bra.
My heart damn near shifted with the fucking pounding in my chest.
Holy shit.
I watched, not breathing, as she held up the shirt, flicked the lighter, and dipped the hem into the flame, bringing it to ash piece by piece.
Son of a bitch! What the hell was happening with her all of a sudden?
My gaze flashed to hers, and time stood still as we watched each other, forgetting the flaming material between us. Her hair danced around her body, and her storm-filled blue eyes pierced my skin, my brain, and my ability to move or speak.
Her arms shook a little, and her breaths, although steady, were deep and fueled by emotion. She was nervous as hell.
Okay, so breaking Madoc’s nose the other night wasn’t a fluke. She was fighting back. Maybe she thought that since she was leaving town, she could throw caution to the wind.
But she wasn’t doing that exactly. No. She was just throwing caution away all together.
And my fists balled up with renewed energy.
It may have been a moment or an hour, but I was suddenly paralyzed by how much I would miss her. Not miss hating her or controlling her.
Just miss her.
And with that realization, I tightened my jaw so hard it ached.
She still owned me.
“Tatum Nicole!”
Her dad yelled from the porch, and we both jumped back to reality. He raced over and grabbed the shirt out of her hand, stomping it out on the ground.
My eyes hadn’t left hers, but the trance was broken and I was finally able to let out a breath. “See you in a year, Tatum,” I bit out, hoping it sounded like a threat.
She said nothing, only glared at me while her father ordered her inside for a shirt.
I walked back over to my house with Madman at my side and wiped the cool sweat off my forehead.
Goddamn. I sucked in air like it was going out of style.
Why couldn’t I get that girl out from under my skin?! Her hot little pyrotechnics weren’t going to help flush her out, either.
Fear took root in my brain as I realized that she was really leaving. I wasn’t going to be in control of her anymore. She’d live every day not thinking of me. She’d go on dates with any asshole that showed interest. And what was worse was that I wouldn’t see her or hear of her. She’d have a life without me in it, and I was scared.
Everything, all of a sudden, felt foreign and uncomfortable. My house, my neighborhood, the idea of going back to school in a week.
“Fuck,” I growled under my breath.
This shit had to end.
I needed a distraction. Lots of distractions.
Once inside, I released the dog and climbed the stairs to my bedroom, digging my phone out of my pocket on the way.
If it were anyone else calling, Madoc wouldn’t answer this early. But for his best friend, it only took two rings.
“I’m. Still. Sleeping,” he grumbled.
“You still up for throwing a pool party before school starts?” I asked, switching on Buckcherry’s Crazy Bitch on the iPod dock on my dresser.
“We’re talking about this now? School isn’t for another week.” He sounded like half of his face was buried in a pillow, but it was how he talked these days. After Tate broke his nose the other night, he had trouble breathing out of one of his nostrils.
“Today. This afternoon,” I said, walking over to my window.
“Dude,” he blurted out. “I’m still dead from last night.”
And in truth, so was I. My head was still swimming from the liquor I’d tried drowning in the night before, but there was no way I could sit around all day with nothing but my thoughts keeping me company.
Tate going to France for a year.
Standing in the front yard in her bra, lighting fires.
I shook the images from my head.
“Then hit the gym and sweat out the hangover. I need a distraction,” I ordered.
Why did I just say that? Now he would know something was wrong, and I didn’t like people knowing my shit.
“Is Tate gone?” he asked, almost timidly.
My shoulders tensed, but I kept my tone even as I watched her come out of her house in a new shirt. “Who’s talking about her? You throwing a party or not?”
The line was quiet for a few seconds before he mumbled, “Uh, huh.” He sounded like he had more to say but wisely decided to shut his damn mouth. “Fine. I don’t want to see the same people we saw last night, though. Who are we inviting?”
Looking over at the Bronco pulling out of the driveway and the fucking blonde driver that didn’t once turn around to look back, I clenched the phone to my ear. “Blondes. Lots of blondes.”
Madoc exhaled a quiet laugh. “You hate blondes.”
Not all. Just one.
I sighed. “Right now, I want to drown in them.” I didn’t care whether Madoc connected the dots or not. He wouldn’t push, and that’s why he was my best friend. “Send out texts and get the drinks. I’ll grab some food and head over in a few hours.”
I twisted around when I heard the purest little moan coming from the bed. The Purdue girl—I forgot her name—was waking up.
“Why not come over now? We can head to the gym, and then gather supplies,” Madoc suggested, but my eyes were hot on the bare back of the girl in my bed. Her squirming had nudged the blanket down to the top of her ass, and her face was turned away from me. All I saw was the skin and her sunshine blonde hair.
And I hung up on Madoc, because my bed was the only place I wanted to be right then.

Teaser #2

“Because I want to know everything! I don’t want to walk down the halls at school and unknowingly make eye contact with five different girls you’ve screwed!” she yelled, her eyes hot and fierce.

“None of it matters, Tate!” I tightened the towel around my waist and looked at her over the center island that she’d put between us. “I just made love to you. To you! And it will only ever be you again!”

I mean, what the fuck does she want, anyway? I can’t go back and change anything I’ve done, and it makes no sense to relive any of that shit. She's my future, and I don’t want her knowing all of that ugliness.

Would I be obsessed over guys that touched her? Yes, goddammit! Which is why I don’t ask!

“I don’t like being in the dark, Jared.” She crossed her arms over her chest, pushing her breasts further over the top of the towel. “It’s a lot to ask of me, knowing I share a school with these girls. I want to know who, where, and what you’ve done. You got off easy. You know it’s only been you for me. They don’t need to look at me with smug grins knowing they’ve had what’s mine.”

And fuck me, I couldn’t help but smile. “You’re jealous.”

Did she think I even saw those other girls? It was always her face. Since I was ten years old, I only ever saw her.

She lifted her chin, looking resolute like I was about to get a big, fat spanking. “Leave. And don't come back until you can man up,” she said calmly. She spun around, her wet hair clinging to her back, and walked down the hall towards the stairs.


Fury burned in my stomach, making my blood burn, and I was ready to put her over my fucking leg. I’d already spilled my guts about my brother, my father, and my whole stupid sob story. I talked about shit I didn’t want to, because I loved her and wanted her to know that I trusted her.

But I was done being pushed around for one night.

Catching her by the arm, I pulled her up against me and hauled her back into the kitchen.

“Let go of me!”

Backing her up against the kitchen table, I hovered down over her. “I’ve been playing games with you for three years, little girl. You don’t get to run away anymore.”

“I’m not a little girl,” she spouted back.

“Then stop acting like one.”

I ran my fingers down her face, feeling the soft skin and never wanting to be more than two feet away from this girl. Leaning in, I felt her breath shake against my lips as I whispered.

“You want to know everything? Then let me show you. Turn around and bend over.”

First posted on: http://sofialovesreading.blogspot.gr/...
Profile Image for Val ⚓️ Shameless Handmaiden ⚓️.
1,862 reviews30.1k followers
November 11, 2016
Le sigh.

Despite my ambivalence toward the whole same-story-from-HIS-POV thing, (Example: Walking Disaster, Hopeless? No thanks, I'll pass. Remy? Yes, please may I have another) I loved this book just as much as Bully, if not more.

Yes, bullying is bad, bullying is awful, yadda, yadda, yadda... [Insert valid and thought provoking social commentary here]...

But I loved this story. I love Jared and Tate. I look forward to more from them. Penelope Douglas is an outstanding writer and I look forward to more from her also. In fact, I might have to bully her to write faster...

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Profile Image for Arini.
857 reviews1,765 followers
April 5, 2020
uhh, i feel scammed. why had the author published this as the companion novel?! this would’ve made for a better first book in the series!!

✨ 3.5 "I LOVE TO HATE YOU" stars ✨

i'm so glad that we get to meet more characters in this book as well as see different sides of the existing ones we’ve already known from the first book. it’s not necessarily that we see their good sides. it’s that we see them from a different angle and are able to understand them more. i know this is kind of the whole point of a companion novel. (duhh!!) what i’m saying is that this book has managed to make me hate these characters less.

see horny jared, his halfassed apologies, and him trying to get to know the word "commitment", as well as his lesson on "how to (not) be a bitter person" here.

overall thoughts:

i enjoyed this book better than the original first book. i would have jumped straight into this one had i known it existed prior to my reading of bully. there are more characters. tate’s dad being my most favorite one even though he only appears briefly. i also think the characters’ development is better in this one. more things are also happening in this book. it still have some key events from tate’s book that are now being shown through jared’s pov. sometimes those scenes feel repetitive and pointless bcs jared’s either thinking about antagonizing tate or having “sexual” reactions bcs of her. i really like the additional scenes, the ones that have no involvement of tate. last but not least, this book is definitely a whole lot steamier compare to the first one.

(read in audiobook format)
Profile Image for moonlight ☾ [semi-hiatus].
644 reviews1,033 followers
October 4, 2020
5 stars

"My heart only beat for her, and I’d rather spend my life hating, loving, fucking and breathing her than losing her."

so....there’s a chance I may be whipped for this likable asshole named Jared Trent. 👉🏼👈🏼 I enjoyed Bully, but I had some problems with it - one of them being I needed the H’s pov to understand his perspective and why he was the way he was. Until You definitely did its job correctly. My heart ached for Jared in this one, I truly felt for him and, tho I still wanted to shake him at times for the things he did to Tate, I understood where he was coming from. yes, Jared was the definition of an asshole but was he redeemable? I would have been conflicted with my answer for Bully but in here?? I’d say he redeemed himself in my eyes and his grovelling was much better imo. <33

also I kinda know what goes down in Jax/KC’s story but, after their little interactions here, I’m honestly curious enough to wanna read their book. 👀
Profile Image for Lady Vigilante (Feifei).
632 reviews2,699 followers
August 31, 2016
FYI, yes, my reading progress was very bumpy but after thinking about this book for a while I think the painful journey is worth enduring to get the end story :)

4 second-chance stars!!!


Words are powerful things. They have the ability to hurt, to heal, to make us feel. Perhaps the only two things stronger than words are music and pictures, which is what this review consists of.

It all began with a tree...


And ended with a love story.


But the in-between?

Well, that’s the best part.


“I’d spent the past two years of high school making her life miserable. Telling a few lies, ruining a few dates, all for my own pleasure. Challenging Tate – making her a high school outcast – made my world go round, but she never fought back. Not until now.” - Jared

Jared is a complex character. The first book only gave us little bits and pieces of Jared’s past, his motives, and his mindset. So many questions.

What really happened that summer?
What drove him to turn on Tate?
What made him into a bully ?

So many faces.

He’s sexy.
He’s tortured.
He’s conflicted.
He’s broken.
He’s protective.
He’s destructive .



“I wouldn’t care if you were alive or dead.”
- Jared


“Do you know what this is? It’s me, wiping away the last tear you’ll ever get.” - Tate

Tate comes back from France with a renewed sense of purpose. She’s ready to put her past behind her, and won’t go down without a fight.

She’s braver.
She’s wiser.
She’s stronger .


Jared and Tate are each other’s nemesis and rock. Yin and yang. Drawn towards each other like a moth to a flame.

“When you’ve tasted the one thing that fills you up, it’s impossible not to want more of it. A lot more.” - Jared


Sticks and stones may break my bones, and words will hurt me. Hurt Tate. Words leave emotional scars that may fade, but never truly go away. In my mind, I could never fully forgive Jared for his past actions, but he sure did one good hell of a job making it up to Tate. And that’s what counts in the end.

To let love in.
To let love stay.
To let love heal.

And let the past go .

“You own me body and soul, and everyone is going to know it. Sometimes I’m going to go slow with you, and sometimes I’m going to fuck you. But it will always be love, Tate." - Jared


-Lyrics and song from "Skyscraper" by Demi Lovato

ARC kindly provided by author in exchange for an honest review. Please note that all quotes are from an advanced copy and may be subject to change in the final edition.
Profile Image for * Meli Mel *.
856 reviews655 followers
December 26, 2013

♥♥♥ 5 Awesome Stars ♥♥♥

●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●

I wanted her to hurt. I didn't want her to hurt. I hated her. I loved her...

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When I heard we would be getting Jared't POV... I could not wait! Why? Well, because, I really liked the book Bully, but had a hard time understanding Jared. I didn't get why he did the things he did to Tate. And even though by the end of Bully I softened to him slightly, I couldn't love him. So, I hoped this book would change my mind... and it totally did.

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"I want to touch you," I whispered against her lips. "I want to feel what's mine. What's always been mine."


●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●

What I loved about this was that we got a new story. Yes, there were still quite a few of the same scenes, but how can it not? I LOVED the fact that I got so much more new stuff. You get insight in Jared's past, and that terrible summer that changed him. My heart hurt deeply for him. The things he and his younger brother went through in the hands of his father was horrible. I'm actually kind of glad he didn't end up being a lot worse than he was. Still, I didn't agree with his actions.

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Tate. My Tate. My best friend, and my worst enemy. The girl that turned my world upside down with her overalls and red baseball cap.

The only person in every one of my good memories.

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Tate, I still very much loved. Seeing her in Jared's eyes made me like her more. She was really strong, something I really liked about her. There were so many times where Jared frustrated the crap out of me, though. His way of thinking made no sense at times. He jumped to conclusions too much, just like Tate had as well. His reasons for hurting her were still not right to me. But, I did get him more.

●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ���  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●

"I can't change the past, Tate. I wish I could, because I'd go back and relive every day that I existed without you, and I'd make sure that you smiled. Every minute of my future belongs to you."

●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●

He may have been a bit of a crazy alpha, and mean at times, but the fact that he admitted it and wanted to be better, is what made me love him. He wasn't perfect, he made so many mistakes. But he wanted to deserve Tate and make everything up to her. He loved her so much, is was the one thing that he was unable to control, but he soon embraced it. He could be really sweet at times, thoughtful, and very dirty minded (which I didn't mind one bit). The steam in this book was higher because of it. I felt like he grew and changed for the better by the end of the book.

I loved and was so happy for them because they are on their road to having that friendship back. And also, for them to move forward from all the pain and hurt. I really enjoyed this story so much more, now that I got Jared's POV. I am excited and can't wait to find out what else there is in store for these characters. I can't wait to see how much more they can grow. If you enjoyed Bully, then this is book you must read. You get so much more in this book. It was not a retelling of the same story with the same scenes. It was really well done. Now, I can't wait to read Madoc's book!

Profile Image for Farah.
362 reviews498 followers
December 14, 2013

I adore this series and while I can't say I was on edge with what's going to happen, It was awesome to get into Jared's head.



I'm glad I read this book because sooo much is explained and clarified and things I thought were a douche bag move actually want.

I was really bummed that I knew what was going to happen however it doesn't change the way I feel about Jared and Tate's story..

"Yesterday Lasts Forever. Tomorrow Comes Never.".

The intense LOve hate relationship...

Brings these lyrics to my mind...

That's how much I love you
That's how much I need you
And I can't stand you
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile?

But you won't let me
You upset me girl
And then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)
Can't remember what you did

But I hate it...
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long that's wrong

But I hate it...
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't want to fuss.. and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you

And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so

You completely know the power that you have
The only one makes me laugh

Said it's not fair
How you take advantage of the fact
That I... love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain't right

And I hate how much I love you girl
I can't stand how much I need you (yeah..)
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can't let you go
But I hate that I love you so

One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me...

That's how much I love you (as much as I need you)
That's how much I need you (oh..)
That's how much I love you (oh..)
As much as I need you

And I hate that I love you so
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you (can't stand how much I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go (but I just can't let you go no..)
And I hate that I love you so

And I hate that I love you so.. so...

Glad I knew this was a HEA...

Profile Image for Jaydb.
37 reviews7 followers
Want to read
December 4, 2013
The first chapter has been released earlier this week, and I'm telling you...

In Bully, we get a general idea of what happened to Jared that made him the bully that he became to Tate. I just never expected that it was like THAT!!

I wanted to kill someone.

Then we are given a peek at a day in the life of Jared Trent.

Apparently our feisty Tate has started standing up to him just before she left for France, not when she came back a year later. LOL, what she did..!

So basically, my reactions while reading the free chapter were just different variations of "OH MY GOD". That short excerpt simply had me gaping and OMG-ing the entire time.

I am so excited for this book! We only saw the tip of the iceberg (about Jared) in Bully, IMO. I cannot wait to learn more about him and his experiences, how he really saw Tate, and BY GOD, I want to know the why's and what's with KC....! Even days after reading Bully, I cannot get it out of my mind.

But at the end of it all, this was me:

:D I just cannot wait for Until You!


Needless to say I've been stalking Penelope Douglas's Facebook :D her Me-Hubby convo posts are hilarious, just saying! But of course, Until You related posts are the best treats. They never fail to make my day!

January 18, 2014
4.5 ★'s

If you liked Bully, you will love Until You! This story dot's all the i's and crosses all the t's and leaves ~almost~ every question answered.


• Tate - I'm still enchanted by her and maybe a little more so just hearing about her from Jared's POV. I love how she keeps him on his toes.

• Jared - ahhhh...it was nice getting those badly needed answers. I now understand him so much better.

• Tate's Dad - I love how he was with Jared. Exactly what he needed. And his secret was so sad!

• Jared's sexual escapades - I liked getting the inside scoop!

• I also liked knowing about him and K.C.

• Henry!

• Loved what happened to Nate and Piper - especially Piper!

• Jaxon - I loved how PD got things going with him....I think I have a good clue who he will be with.

• We get an excerpt for Madoc's book. Can't wait to find out more about this piercing! ;)

• Annnd...PD lets us know that we will get more updates on Jared and Tate in the next books. Which I know is kind of obvious but still good to hear.



• Jared's Dad - I think I hate him even more!

• What happened between K.C. and Jared - I still don't like that no one has told Tate.

• Jared's mom seeing them!

• Overuse of "pinching" eyebrows about drove me nuts!



I was really happy that I decided to go ahead and read this book right after reading Bully. It gave me such a deeper reading experience and I didn't feel like I was reading the same thing. Obviously, there are similar stories but PD manages to change things up enough that it feels fresh. I definitely would recommend reading Bully before this one though. Can't wait for Madoc's and Jax's books!
Favorite quotes:

♥ “You were my tempest, my thunder cloud, my tree in the downpour. I loved all of those things, and I loved you. But now…you’re a fucking drought. I thought that all the assholes drove German cars, but it turns out that pricks in Mustangs can still leave scars.”

♥ “Jared,” she whispered between kisses. “Something’s wrong with me. I always want more of you.”

♥ “Girlfriend isn’t enough to describe you, Tate. That term is disposable. You’re not my girlfriend, my girl, or my woman. You’re. Just. Mine.”

♥ “It wasn’t until two years later that I found something that I loved more than Henry."

♥ “Have you ever considered a nipple piercing?”
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214 reviews1 follower
August 23, 2020
4.5 stars!!

Until You is the companion novel to the first book in the Fall Away series, Bully. I loved this book so much! After reading Bully, I knew that I needed Jared’s perspective on the situation. And that’s exactly what we got!

I will say, this was my first time reading a companion novel, since I do tend to avoid them for whatever reason. However, after reading the first book, I knew I couldn’t resist - so I was in for a little surprise. I expected this book to just be everything from the first, just from Jared’s side of the story. And if that was the case, I would still have been happy with the book. BUT, this book was so much more!! A lot of scenes were added that weren’t in the first. Although the major dialogue is exactly the same, there is sO much more background info that the reader didn’t know about. Now I can finally say that I got the closure I needed!

Okay since the overall plot is the same as the first, I’ll sum it up quick. Jared and Tate were childhood besties. One summer, Jared goes to visit his father who he hasn’t seen in many years. He had a really bad experience there, and came back a totally changed person. He wanted nothing to do with Tate, and made sure to make her high school years a living hell.

Now it’s junior year, and Tate’s studying abroad in France. Jared goes absolutely crazy since he has no one to really target anymore. But when Tate comes back for senior year, she doesn’t just go with the hate, she fights back.

I had no idea what the hell I was going to do now, but one thing was for damn certain.
We weren’t done.”

Just like most enemies to lovers, in the midst of the chaos they find their way back. Not only are they able to gradually build up their friendship to how it was, they go beyond that!

“I love you more than myself,” I told her, “more than my own family, for Christ’s sake. I don’t want to take another step in this world without you next to me.”

I really enjoyed this book and if enemies to lovers is your thing, then do try this out! Not to mention that it is not difficult to fall head over heels for the characters. I look forward to reading the second novel in the series next, that will have more of an emphasis on some side characters! x
Profile Image for Umz.
65 reviews
December 7, 2013
Yesterday lasts forever.
Tomorrow comes never.
Until you.

Really loved this book! Bully was one of my favourite books of the year and I enjoyed this one just as much.

Kudos to you, Penelope Douglas, for writing a kickass companion novel –not an easy task! Although this followed the same storyline as Bully, it had many new scenes and I loved seeing what was going through Jared’s head throughout the book. My heart broke for him and all he had to put up with. I think anyone who was on the fence about Bully should definitely give this one a chance. Being inside Jared's head and understanding his guilt, emotional baggage and the reasons behind his asshole-ness may change your mind about him.

But more than Jared, I freaking ADORE Madoc! I’m really looking forward to his and Jax’s books. I still can’t stand KC, who I’m guessing is Jax’s love interest, but I hope to warm up to her by then.

I will always love Jared and Tate’s story, the way they grew up together and everything they mean to each other. Looking forward to reading more from this author and the next Fall Away books!
Profile Image for Ing.
215 reviews
July 25, 2021
Read the original review on the blog: http://bit.ly/1biHhSn

You know that feeling where you crave a certain food so bad that you can literally taste that sucker and you won't be satisfied until you eat it? Once you indulge in your craving this euphoria settles on you and you feel all complete? Well, waiting for UNTIL YOU to release and finally reading the dang book gave me those same feelings. I was floating on cloud nine. I didn't think that I could love Jared more but I did after reading HIS story. Until You is book #1.5 of the Fall Away series and is the companion novel to Bully. This is told from Jared Trent's POV. I think Penelope said it best in her note from the author section, "This is NOT a retelling of Bully. This is Jared's story." Truer words have never been spoken. This was definitely Jared's book all the way. Penelope lets the readers in and took us on a roller-coaster ride full of bumps, thrills, and joy.

I loved, loved, loved BULLY. I didn't always agree with how Jared treated Tate half of the time in that book. Even though he was such a jerk face I still fell in love with him in Bully. I wanted in badly inside his head. When Penelope announced that she would be writing a book from Jared's POV, I fist-pumped the air and jumped up and down squealing like a 10-year-old girl! Finally, we'd get to hear what Jared was thinking in some places during Bully and finally, we can get a better understanding of how someone could turn so against and so mean towards someone who was their world and best friend.

Did Until You deliver for this fan? Fudge YES it did. That one summer spent with his father was a freaking nightmare. If I could reach in and tear Thomas Trent a new a-hole I would have. That man put Jared and his brother Jax through hell. My heart broke for both of them. Especially Jax. I can't imagine what a nightmare it was for Jax living that whole time with a father like that. What Jared's father put him through messed him up so bad that something in Jared broke that summer. I hate that Jared turned on Tate. I wish he would have reached out to her but I get it. I totally get where his head was and how he could have flipped things into what it was. Does any of it still excuse his treatment of Tate, heck no but I get it?

As it's been stated this was definitely not a retelling of Bully. We get so much more new information in this book. We saw what Jared was up to while Tate was away. We got to see more Madoc, who is Jared's best friend and partner in crime. I can't wait for Madoc's book. Madoc is freaking funny. He's so silly and had some of the funniest lines in this book. His and Fallon's story is going to be great. That girl is going to take that boy down a notch. I totally fell in love and have a massive crush on Tate's dad in this book. Mr. Brandt plays a bigger role in Jared's book. I love his no BS policy and how he told Jared like it is. His advice and wisdom were something Jared was missing in his life. I was so glad that he got that from Mr. Brandt. He got something he never had and respected it. Jax...oh Jax you are going to be trouble and I have a feeling you are going to make my heartbreak. I am so scared to know what happened to Jax. His story I have a feeling will be even more devastating. Sigh, I can't wait.
Now let's get to K.C. who was Tate's best friend. I hated that girl so much in Bully. She broke the girl code and really hurt Tate in Bully. I wanted to pull her hair and slap her silly in Bully. I wasn't sure how Penelope would redeem her in Until You. I wanted to know how Jared could use K.C. in that way to hurt Tate and I wanted to know how K.C. could have even contemplated being with Jared and hurting Tate. I got my answers. Did it make me hate K.C. less? Yes, it did. I don't love her but I like her enough now. I am hoping and don't get mad, other Fall Away fans but I want to hear more about K.C. She has a story and I am hoping she gets one! :)

Tate's voice is more in the background in this book. For me, I STRONGLY recommend you read Bully first before you read Until You. It will add to the experience. But her voice during Bully was very strong that even though all of this was from Jared's POV, her voice was often in the background in my head talking smack back to Jared. I love Tate. Seeing Tate from Jared's eye I fell in love with her more. I'm so glad to see her put Jared in his place at the end and told him like it is. Jared needed to hear that. I don't think he ever really got it until that moment or he just tried to gloss it all over in his head.

OMERGAWD!!!! I can't tell you how much I LURVED being inside Jared's head. Guys tend to be dirtier and raunchier with their thoughts. Being in Jared's head was like being allowed in a bookstore with no monetary limit to buy books. I was all over the place squeeeing and just falling in love with him and was greedy. I knew this book was going to be HOT because Penelope teased us. But boy howdy freaking holy oh...that boy was mind f--king Tate all over! Several times I was cueing the porno jingle in my head while reading. Oh how I loved it. Besides the sexier scenes just seeing the more emotional moments through Jared's eye was refreshing. I felt like I was reading a whole new book and feeling all those same emotions I felt while reading Bully. There was a very touching moment with Jared and his mom. It was a very poignant moment between two people who have drifted apart so much. I'm glad the rift is slowly closing.

Fans of Bully will not be disappointed with Until You. Penelope Douglas delivers big time and meets all the expectations that this fan had for Until You. Being inside Jared's head was one crazy emotional roller coaster ride. With the addition of Until You, Penelope has become an author I trust and will automatically buy anything this woman writes. I recommend this series with all my heart. If I could marry this series and have a family with it I so totally would! :)

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One of the characters that shined in this book! Totally have mad crush on Tate's dad! I heart you James Brandt!!!!

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Horrible book hangover! Jared & Tate fans will not be disappointed. Jared I love you even more than before. This was me the whole time reading the book! Full review to come soon.

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Profile Image for Plamena.
166 reviews
December 12, 2013
5 Wonderful stars!!!

“There are times when we can blame a situation on others, but we own our reactions to them. There comes a point where we are the ones responsible for our choices and excuses don’t carry weight anymore.”

Bully is one of my favourite books and I was really excited to read this brilliant story from Jared’s POV. Being in his head is an amazing experience that I will never forget. I loved every second of it. I was surprised that the author kept my attention through the whole book even though I already knew the story. But the writing was perfect and it felt like I was reading something totally different from the first book. And seriously...I enjoyed this one more!!!

Jared is a very complex character. I understand him much better after reading Until You. The terrible experience with his father had really messed with him and who can blame him!!! I just want to mention here that it’s hard for me to read about child abuse. It really broke my heart! Then after experiencing this cruelty he comes back home- confused, hurt and ready to hate someone. This someone is his best friend and the girl he loves- Tatum. He feels betrayed by her and needs to channel his anger towards something (or in this case- someone). So he starts bullying and hating Tatum. That is until she goes abroad for a year.

“I loved hating her, and I wanted her fucking home.”

When she returns things change between them. She will rock is world again and without knowing will put the pieces of his broken heart back together. Tate shows him the truth about the person he has become and helps Jared to understand the big mistake he had made- hurting and pushing away the only person who had made him happy- his light in the dark.

“The purest, truest, most perfect thing in my world, and I’d dumped pile upon pile of shit on top of her for years.”

I really enjoyed following his change...then the way he fights to fix his mistakes and to prove his love!

“I love you more than myself,” I told her, “more than my own family, for Christ’s sake. I don’t want to take another step in this world without you next to me.”

I can’t wait to read Madoc's story!!!! :)
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