What do you think?
Rate this book
The Default Girlfriend: A sex comedy
An alternate title/cover for this ASIN can be found here.
Appreciating Assets is a fast-paced comedy about what happens when a socially inept professional can’t control his lust.
Ian Bourne’s girlfriend of seven years leaves him without so much as a goodbye. About to turn thirty, he’s obsessed by the thought of the sex he missed in his youth, and believes this is his last chance to get it. All he has to do is lose some weight and learn some social skills. It can’t be that difficult, can it? When he’s given a fraud case to investigate in the city where he spent his student years, he seizes the chance to track down and try to seduce the women he thinks he could have slept with. And if he can crack the case, he’ll make junior partner.
Ian may be a great forensic accountant, but there was a reason he never managed to sleep around at university. His attempts at seduction are frustrated… and then he commits a grave sexual misdemeanour. Discredited and publicly humiliated, he has no choice but to continue the investigation alone.
Many men regret the sex they never had (Poet Laureate John Betjeman famously being one). Men who’ve read this novel identify strongly with Ian’s desires, whilst women have found it an entertaining insight into the depths – and treacherous shallows – of the male psyche.
Warning: sexually explicit in places
Written for an MA in Creative Writing at City University, Appreciating Assets was entered for a competition by the Christopher Little Literary Agency (J.K. Rowling’s agent). Here’s what they said: “Yours was the only entry which the eight of us here enjoyed unreservedly! We thought your dialogue and characterisation were both spot on and, moreover, you made us laugh.” Sadly, they were looking for something ‘literary’ for their list. Length: >92,000 words
Mark Speed also perform multimedia stand-up comedy. Watch out for The End of the World Show at the Edinburgh Fringe in 2012, and on tour elsewhere.
For author bio and more comedy and sketches, Google Mark Speed
Appreciating Assets is a fast-paced comedy about what happens when a socially inept professional can’t control his lust.
Ian Bourne’s girlfriend of seven years leaves him without so much as a goodbye. About to turn thirty, he’s obsessed by the thought of the sex he missed in his youth, and believes this is his last chance to get it. All he has to do is lose some weight and learn some social skills. It can’t be that difficult, can it? When he’s given a fraud case to investigate in the city where he spent his student years, he seizes the chance to track down and try to seduce the women he thinks he could have slept with. And if he can crack the case, he’ll make junior partner.
Ian may be a great forensic accountant, but there was a reason he never managed to sleep around at university. His attempts at seduction are frustrated… and then he commits a grave sexual misdemeanour. Discredited and publicly humiliated, he has no choice but to continue the investigation alone.
Many men regret the sex they never had (Poet Laureate John Betjeman famously being one). Men who’ve read this novel identify strongly with Ian’s desires, whilst women have found it an entertaining insight into the depths – and treacherous shallows – of the male psyche.
Warning: sexually explicit in places
Written for an MA in Creative Writing at City University, Appreciating Assets was entered for a competition by the Christopher Little Literary Agency (J.K. Rowling’s agent). Here’s what they said: “Yours was the only entry which the eight of us here enjoyed unreservedly! We thought your dialogue and characterisation were both spot on and, moreover, you made us laugh.” Sadly, they were looking for something ‘literary’ for their list. Length: >92,000 words
Mark Speed also perform multimedia stand-up comedy. Watch out for The End of the World Show at the Edinburgh Fringe in 2012, and on tour elsewhere.
For author bio and more comedy and sketches, Google Mark Speed
292 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 12, 2012
4 people want to read
About the author
Mark Speed
18 books83 followersMark Speed has been writing novels since he was fifteen. His comedy writing has appeared in newspapers as diverse as the London Evening Standard and The Sun, and been broadcast on BBC Radio 4 Extra. He performed his solo comedy, The End of the World Show, at the Edinburgh Fringe in 2011 and 2012. He is currently working on the five-volume Doctor How parody.
Amongst other postgraduate and professional qualifications, he has a Master’s degree in Creative Writing from City University, London. In 1995 a chiropractor told him he’d never run again. Sensibly he chose to give up chiropractors, and has since completed several marathons and a couple of Olympic-length triathlons.
NLP founder Dr Richard Bandler publicly called him a ‘polarity responder’.
Amongst other postgraduate and professional qualifications, he has a Master’s degree in Creative Writing from City University, London. In 1995 a chiropractor told him he’d never run again. Sensibly he chose to give up chiropractors, and has since completed several marathons and a couple of Olympic-length triathlons.
NLP founder Dr Richard Bandler publicly called him a ‘polarity responder’.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 of 1 review
April 6, 2017
Kindle Unlimited, Brit type stories as only a Brit can write.
NOT a not Doctor Who books but by same writer:
The Default Girlfriend
Britons in Brief Britons in Brief
Apocalypse Later: A guide to the end of the world by Nice Mr Death
Evidently can't get enough of Doctor Who not Doctor Who/Doctor How and his twin Who, and cousins What, When, Where, and Why. Doctor How and the Illegal Aliens: The Doctor Who is not a Time Lord 1 - Doctor How and the Deadly Anemones: (Doctor How book two) 2 - Doctor How and the Alien Invasion 3 - Doctor How and the Kennedy Assassination Conspiracy (Doctor How, #0.1) Doctor How and the Rings of Uranus (Doctor How, #0.2) {.2 subscriber only, unsure about .1 but probably also and is part at least of book 2} - Doctor How (3 Book Series) {#1-3} Doctor How and the Dragons Doctor How, book four {Due out ??}
Kindle Unlimited, but got the first way bit back and lost in my kindle mess of uncategorized books {didn't switch over my folders when updated couple of times though did add yet another kindle for pc listing go figure} Take binges on things, especially reading, this one was all the Doctor How books which of course by Mark Speed, and John Pirillo's The adventures of Lord When: Travels Through Time {Trilogy} andand In Times Like These {Trilogy by Nathan Van Coops}.Took me longer than usual to read Doctor How, so many 'in' references, hilarious.
NOT a not Doctor Who books but by same writer:
The Default Girlfriend
Britons in Brief Britons in Brief
Apocalypse Later: A guide to the end of the world by Nice Mr Death
Evidently can't get enough of Doctor Who not Doctor Who/Doctor How and his twin Who, and cousins What, When, Where, and Why. Doctor How and the Illegal Aliens: The Doctor Who is not a Time Lord 1 - Doctor How and the Deadly Anemones: (Doctor How book two) 2 - Doctor How and the Alien Invasion 3 - Doctor How and the Kennedy Assassination Conspiracy (Doctor How, #0.1) Doctor How and the Rings of Uranus (Doctor How, #0.2) {.2 subscriber only, unsure about .1 but probably also and is part at least of book 2} - Doctor How (3 Book Series) {#1-3} Doctor How and the Dragons Doctor How, book four {Due out ??}
Kindle Unlimited, but got the first way bit back and lost in my kindle mess of uncategorized books {didn't switch over my folders when updated couple of times though did add yet another kindle for pc listing go figure} Take binges on things, especially reading, this one was all the Doctor How books which of course by Mark Speed, and John Pirillo's The adventures of Lord When: Travels Through Time {Trilogy} andand In Times Like These {Trilogy by Nathan Van Coops}.Took me longer than usual to read Doctor How, so many 'in' references, hilarious.
Displaying 1 of 1 review