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252 pages, ebook
First published September 2, 2014
"...the story of a girl with secrets, a guy with scars, and a love that could save them both..."
I'm no longer Paul Landgon, hotshot quarterback and all-American hero off to war. I'm Paul Langdon, disfigured recluse and of no use to anyone. Hell, I can't even be of use to myself. I can't even fucking walk.
I haven't even seen the guy in full light yet and I'm about fifteen seconds away from asking if his offspring would like to take up residence in my uterus.
I should run. Instead, I move closer.
"Let me guess. You were expecting an old dude in a smoking jacket?" he said gruffly.
This girl is exactly the sort of person I exiled myself to Maine to avoid. She's tempting. Not just in the sexual way… But with that briefest of glimpses, she tempts me with something worse: she makes me long for normal.
He growls and moves closer, pinning me against the door with his body as his tongue slips into my mouth.
She's touching my scars. And I'm letting her.
She's not mine to protect but… I want her to touch me... I want her to be mine to take. And when she's looking at me like that, I can almost believe it's true.
"Oh I'm sorry. Were your bear growl and caveman antics supposed to send me running away? Did you expect that I'd faint at your glower?"
No matter where I look, my walls are crumbling, and this damned girl keeps presenting me with the most dangerous element of all.
Hope.
I almost want to laugh at how messed up we are.
Two completely shattered souls doing a weird approach-and-recoil dance around each other.
You want me?" he asks against my mouth. "You want my hands on you?"
Little alarm bells are going off in the back of my head. There's no warmth in his words. No kindness, or even desire. He's playing some sort of cruel game in which my body is definitely the playing board. And I'm a willing participant.
Somewhere inside of me, a demon is telling me that I'm going to disappoint her. That I'm going to destroy her.
“It’s just so romantic. The beautiful angel swooping in to save the surly dickwad who’s quite possibly a murderous recluse.”
"Olivia’s future is glamorous Hamptons parties and pretty boys in suits. Mine is solitude and hole-in-the-wall bars like Frenchy’s."
"I love Paul, the person. I love his darkness and his shadows. I love his smile and the kindness he tries so hard to hide. I love the boyish quarterback beneath the war veteran, and I love the scarred right side of his face even more than the perfection of his left.
I love him."
"I can live in the light without you, or stay here in the dark with you.”
“Carrying for a war veteran isn’t aboutPaul Langdon returns from war a shadow of the man he once was, both physically and emotionally. Everything has changed, the way he moves, the way he looks and the way he feels. His father sends him carer after carer to help rehabilitate his body, and more importantly, his mind.... But to accept help, to move on, Paul has to want it. He needs a reason to motivate himself out of the dark. Is there anything or anyone who can make a difference? Change Paul's mindset? Give him hope of a future worth living?
philanthropy. It’s about penance.”
Two completely shattered souls doing a weird approach-and-recoil dance around each other.
"Sounds like my father forgot to mention the most important part of your job. But then, he never tells my babysitters what they're really doing here."
"And what's that?" I ask, narrowing my eyes.
"Suicide watch."
The door slams in my face.
The worst of my scars aren't the ones I see in the mirror...
"Also, fun little trivia for this morning?"
"No thanks."
"That cane? All for show. You haven't used it once to support your weight this entire time."
Maybe he really is as dead inside as he looks, as he wants everyone to believe. Maybe I'm doing little more than babysitting a statue with a sadistic streak.
I wish someone would ask what happened. How I am. Something other than the vapid Need something?
Hell yes, I need something. I need someone to care.
My self-hatred threatens to choke me. I hang on to the anger like it's a lifeline, because the alternative is despair. And despair might kill me.
I love his darkness and his shadows. I love his smile and the kindness he tries so hard to hide. I love the boyish quarterback beneath the war veteran, and I love the scarred right side of his face even more than the perfection of his left.
Olivia hasn't just taught me how to love. She's done something much bigger. She's taught me how to live.
"You made me whole. You took a wretched, broken soul and showed him how to take his life back."
"I want her. But more than that, I want her to want me."
"I love Paul, the person. I love his darkness and his shadows. I love his smile and the kindness he tries so hard to hide. I love the boyish quarterback beneath the war veteran, and I love the scarred right side of his face even more than the perfection of his left.