This is one of Jae's earlier books, and it definitely feels like it. I'm really sad that my rating for this isn't higher. It feels like it should be higher, because I ended up really really adoring this couple. I think they're so sweet and sexy together, and this was written with the usual slow burn intensity that I expect from the author. But it just also felt so DATED. Not really the references. Some of the language used and the ways that the characters spoke about other people... it just kinda put me off, idk. I think I noticed it especially because I recently read some lesfic from the 90s, and both those books held up way better than this one. In my opinion, anyway.
It's a single POV romance (my beloved) following a struggling actress and a photographer. The whole conceit behind the book is that Amanda doesn't ever date butch women, but feels really drawn to Michelle. And Michelle has sworn to never date another actress after a couple bad relationships, but really likes Amanda. They both have to set aside their preconceived notions, and as they get to know each other, they fall harder and harder. It's a really cute setup. I loved their meet-cute, and that entire morning after was wonderful; the perfect foundation where we see their attraction building naturally. I just loved the picture of Amanda waking up after what she first assumed was a drunken one night stand, realising that nothing had happened, and having the other woman treat her to breakfast and movies and aftercare anyway. They were just really lovely together, and that carried all throughout the book.
Unfortunately, I also had to battle my impatience all throughout the book. The whole schtick with Amanda being sooooo surprised that she was attracted to a butch got really old really fast. Something about it just irritated me, even though I knew full well that the character was going to eventually get over it. I guess it was also annoying because Michelle didn't even seem that butch; just kinda androgynous? Not that I'm trying to police what she calls herself, but the whole narrative of Amanda being ~amazed~ that she's into a masc woman kinda falls flat when the author emphasises the ways in which she's feminine. Idk idk idk. There's no one way to be butch or femme, and it's not like I have an issue with Michelle's presentation. Something about how it was written though... idk. I found it irksome. Like the book was trying so hard to avoid "stereotypes" that it just ended up rejecting a lot of commonplace butch stuff. A lot of the Hollywood and showbusiness details annoyed me too. Just little comments about other women being fake and shallow and divas; stuff that made me want to grind my teeth. Amanda came off as soooo judgmental sometimes, and the book seemed to fully support her in that. Some of the side characters (Amanda's date and her ex especially) were written to be so cartoonishly awful, I couldn't take it seriously. Also, Amanda gets her first big role during the book, and the whole process of how that worked was not believable at all. Idk, maybe it does work super quickly sometimes. But getting a call with no audition one day, and then you're filming the next day? Really? In general, the writing was way less polished and meaningful than what I usually expect from this author, and there were several times when a word or phrase would stick out badly.
I'm gonna stop here, because now I feel like I'm just going through my highlights and talking about my nitpicks. There were a lot of things I didn't care for, which makes me sad, because I really did like the romance. All of the things I listed above bugged me, but also just the fact that this felt dated, in a bad way. There's some older lesfic that has a certain feel to it, something I can't really describe, but this was it. I wish I had liked it more. I tried to listen to the audiobook for a bit, but it didn't really work for me, so I stuck with the ebook. I had been looking forward to reading this series, because I met some of the other couples in 'Just For Show', which is one of my favourite Jae novels. [ETA: it was actually 'Not the Marrying Kind', which isn't one of my favourites, but still a book that I liked.] But now I'm a little hesitant. I guess I'll see how I feel in a few months.