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Window
Dear Author,
I shouldn’t have come. He doesn’t want me here. How many times do I need to hear him say it, shout it, snarl it at me, before I get it through my head that he means it? I wish I could turn my back on him and leave, and find someone easy. Someone warm and welcoming who would laugh when they see me, and give me a hug.
But even though he doesn’t want me here, I still think, deep in my heart, that he needs me. And I just can’t walk away.
Or maybe, I’m the one who still needs him.
Photo Description:
A beautiful, toned man lies on a bed of white linen, naked but for a black cord around his left wrist, and a sheet barely covering his lower body. His left arm is bent, his hand resting against his temple. He is lifting his right arm up, away from his body. Mussed, brown hair hangs low over his forehead, and thick stubble covers his chin. His dark eyes throw a questioning glare toward the camera.
This story was written as a part of the M/M Romance Group's "Love’s Landscapes" event. Group members were asked to write a story prompt inspired by a photo of their choice. Authors of the group selected a photo and prompt that spoke to them and wrote a short story.
This story may contain sexually explicit content and is intended for adult readers. It may contain content that is disagreeable or distressing to some readers. The M/M Romance Group strongly recommends that each reader review the General Information section before each story for story tags as well as for content warnings.
I shouldn’t have come. He doesn’t want me here. How many times do I need to hear him say it, shout it, snarl it at me, before I get it through my head that he means it? I wish I could turn my back on him and leave, and find someone easy. Someone warm and welcoming who would laugh when they see me, and give me a hug.
But even though he doesn’t want me here, I still think, deep in my heart, that he needs me. And I just can’t walk away.
Or maybe, I’m the one who still needs him.
Photo Description:
A beautiful, toned man lies on a bed of white linen, naked but for a black cord around his left wrist, and a sheet barely covering his lower body. His left arm is bent, his hand resting against his temple. He is lifting his right arm up, away from his body. Mussed, brown hair hangs low over his forehead, and thick stubble covers his chin. His dark eyes throw a questioning glare toward the camera.
This story was written as a part of the M/M Romance Group's "Love’s Landscapes" event. Group members were asked to write a story prompt inspired by a photo of their choice. Authors of the group selected a photo and prompt that spoke to them and wrote a short story.
This story may contain sexually explicit content and is intended for adult readers. It may contain content that is disagreeable or distressing to some readers. The M/M Romance Group strongly recommends that each reader review the General Information section before each story for story tags as well as for content warnings.
84 pages, ebook
First published July 27, 2014
115 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 48 reviews
December 11, 2014
Based from the ebook files I have on my computer, I have read a little over 2,800 MM stories over the past 6 years; not to mention hundreds of slash fanfictions. So it is getting harder to find an MM story that is stands out.
HOWEVER, when I finished this one, I knew that it would be one that stick for awhile. There were three things that made it 'special'...
One, the whole experience of waiting for those two words: POS vs NEG when it comes to HIV testing. I thought that was well done. I wouldn't know whether the testing procedure itself was authentic but the way that Ms. MacLagan portrayed the anxiety, the scare, the bitterness of knowing that your partner, the one that you loved so much who cheated on you and might give you HIV, was really good. I felt for Jeremy (he was the main narrator) so much. Those moments before the result was shown? Wow. Quite a punch.
Two, condom-flavor testing. Nope. Not going to say much about this *grin*. But I honestly think I haven't encountered such scene in other stories I've read. So, kudos for that :)
Three, one of the best big brothers character ever! *HUGS DUSTIN*
Oh, and I guess I also have to give kudos as well to the idea of meeting someone at an HIV clinic. THAT is also something new.
I COULD do less with the dick twitching (everytime Jeremy's dick twitched, my eyes twitched too). And I wished Jeremy confronted Aaron much earlier about Aaron's sudden turnaround ... so Jeremy could be less emo about it.
But in overall, this is one great story. I approved.
HOWEVER, when I finished this one, I knew that it would be one that stick for awhile. There were three things that made it 'special'...
One, the whole experience of waiting for those two words: POS vs NEG when it comes to HIV testing. I thought that was well done. I wouldn't know whether the testing procedure itself was authentic but the way that Ms. MacLagan portrayed the anxiety, the scare, the bitterness of knowing that your partner, the one that you loved so much who cheated on you and might give you HIV, was really good. I felt for Jeremy (he was the main narrator) so much. Those moments before the result was shown? Wow. Quite a punch.
Two, condom-flavor testing. Nope. Not going to say much about this *grin*. But I honestly think I haven't encountered such scene in other stories I've read. So, kudos for that :)
Three, one of the best big brothers character ever! *HUGS DUSTIN*
Oh, and I guess I also have to give kudos as well to the idea of meeting someone at an HIV clinic. THAT is also something new.
I COULD do less with the dick twitching (everytime Jeremy's dick twitched, my eyes twitched too). And I wished Jeremy confronted Aaron much earlier about Aaron's sudden turnaround ... so Jeremy could be less emo about it.
But in overall, this is one great story. I approved.
May 1, 2017
I hate Ali MacLagan, and I have very good reasons. Want to know why? Because she's perfect. Her story is perfect and it's only the second one she's ever written. She's really sweet and nice and smart and funny. She's my friend. She beta read my latest story (which is mediocre because I just didn't have time to do the story justice) and was very nice and supportive and didn't at all make me feel like an idiot. Now that I've read her story I feel like a buffoon. But not through anything she's done or said, because she wrote a wonderful, perfect story and was modest about it but not in that fake humble way but because she's just that nice. See? I have really good...okay, really stupid reasons to hate her. And that's why I don't really. I think she's awesome, as is this story.
February 14, 2015
Dnf at 85%
This story had the potential to be really good. The prompt was great and the tags were interesting, which meant I was super enthused to read it. I was hoping that the author had done some research on the subject matter she chose, like talking to some gay men to ask how they would think/feel/react if they realized they might be HIV positive. That would have made for an excellent story with an authentic feel. Unfortunately I think the author just did the rudimentary Googling of HIV clinic testing practices, because that was the only part that felt authentic to me.
I'm feeling let down about this, especially since the story started out really well. I was feeling it when Jeremy got the news that he would need to go get tested. I was there for him as he went through some thangs, I even overlooked the first collision-as-meet-cute all the way up until the first dick twitch as a sign of attraction. Notice I said first.
"and the only thought running through my head was, I want to lick his teeth― and maybe some other things, too. My dick twitched. Shit!"
Ok the teeth licking thing is kind of odd but I was willing to go along with it. Sadly, things only devolved from there. Poor Jeremy started to seem more and more female as the story went along, even if he had quite a few dick spasms along the way. There were unrealistic situations, depressed stalking, a whopper of a Big Misunderstanding/Lack of Communication, with some Sugar and Ice Personality mixed in.
By the time I got to 80% i wasn't interested anymore, which is too bad. The author has a good writing style and I was intrigued by the characters at first, I just think she might have needed to converse with some gay men before writing about such a serious topic.
This story had the potential to be really good. The prompt was great and the tags were interesting, which meant I was super enthused to read it. I was hoping that the author had done some research on the subject matter she chose, like talking to some gay men to ask how they would think/feel/react if they realized they might be HIV positive. That would have made for an excellent story with an authentic feel. Unfortunately I think the author just did the rudimentary Googling of HIV clinic testing practices, because that was the only part that felt authentic to me.
I'm feeling let down about this, especially since the story started out really well. I was feeling it when Jeremy got the news that he would need to go get tested. I was there for him as he went through some thangs, I even overlooked the first collision-as-meet-cute all the way up until the first dick twitch as a sign of attraction. Notice I said first.
"and the only thought running through my head was, I want to lick his teeth― and maybe some other things, too. My dick twitched. Shit!"
Ok the teeth licking thing is kind of odd but I was willing to go along with it. Sadly, things only devolved from there. Poor Jeremy started to seem more and more female as the story went along, even if he had quite a few dick spasms along the way. There were unrealistic situations, depressed stalking, a whopper of a Big Misunderstanding/Lack of Communication, with some Sugar and Ice Personality mixed in.
By the time I got to 80% i wasn't interested anymore, which is too bad. The author has a good writing style and I was intrigued by the characters at first, I just think she might have needed to converse with some gay men before writing about such a serious topic.
February 5, 2017
3.5, redondeo hacia arriba, como a mis alumnos.
El comienzo de la historia es más interesante de lo que luego llega a ser, toma un camino que a mi me hubiera gustado que fuera otro, no diré más por no spoilear. Pero, a pesar de mis reticencias la historia al final es dulce y ofrece un buen rato, y hoy domingo a las 11 de la mañana, creo que no hay nada mejor que eso, con las 4 estrellas se queda, paso de hacer un análisis profundo.
El comienzo de la historia es más interesante de lo que luego llega a ser, toma un camino que a mi me hubiera gustado que fuera otro, no diré más por no spoilear. Pero, a pesar de mis reticencias la historia al final es dulce y ofrece un buen rato, y hoy domingo a las 11 de la mañana, creo que no hay nada mejor que eso, con las 4 estrellas se queda, paso de hacer un análisis profundo.
August 2, 2014
gosh, another great story from LL. Good pace, enough clues for the reader, hot men, and a marshmellowy HEA. Thankyou, Ali MacLagan.
3.5 stars
3.5 stars
March 29, 2016
NSFW
Offered for FREE from the M/M Romance Group's Love's Landscapes event. Thank you too all the amazing authors who participated!
Oh my. Just lovely. And it's always nice when you end a story with happy tears in your eyes. I love an effective and purposeful epilogue, and this one gave us a nice little peek into the future. This was fun and sweet, despite the topic, there was a sense of hope and living your life no matter what. Of course I got annoyed at Aaron for pushing Jeremy away, but that's the prompt description... and I knew why he was doing it . Only complaint is how one dimensional Greg was. Granted, being an ass is probably his coping mechanism, but he's still human, yet he seemed totally unaffected
Offered for FREE from the M/M Romance Group's Love's Landscapes event. Thank you too all the amazing authors who participated!
Oh my. Just lovely. And it's always nice when you end a story with happy tears in your eyes. I love an effective and purposeful epilogue, and this one gave us a nice little peek into the future. This was fun and sweet, despite the topic, there was a sense of hope and living your life no matter what. Of course I got annoyed at Aaron for pushing Jeremy away, but that's the prompt description... and I knew why he was doing it . Only complaint is how one dimensional Greg was. Granted, being an ass is probably his coping mechanism, but he's still human, yet he seemed totally unaffected
July 31, 2014
This little story packs a punch.
September 30, 2014
A well-written story depicting the time between initial HIV testing after possible exposure and the follow-up test 3 months later for two young men. The characters were both interesting and simpatico. And even though I knew the "twist" right away (what can I say - I'm a cynical old broad), the storytelling kept me reading to see how it all played out. Well done!
September 21, 2015
Poignant, sweet, and well-written free story which I thoroughly enjoyed reading.
July 27, 2014
A fantastic story about Jeremy, an quiet and shy accountant who thinks he has a great life. Until he comes home and discovers a note from his boyfriend/partner, who informs him in one fell swoop that he cheated on Jeremy and tested positive.
Eventually, Jeremy picks himself up and gathers the courage to go to the free HIV clinic in his town in Maine. While in the waiting room, he introduces himself to Aaron, an angry, gorgeous man. After getting his initial testing results, knowing that he has a window of three months until he has to come back to get tested again, he leaves the clinic and is crashed into by whom other than Aaron. Surprising himself, he asks Aaron for coffee. They end up spending a fun and amusing day and evening together, which ends abruptly, confusing the hell out of Jeremy. He doesn't know why. With subsequent, unplanned meetings with Aaron, he still doesn't understand. It isn't until later that a secret is revealed, throwing everything off balance.
I loved this story and how Jeremy had to deal with the real-life crisis of being exposed to HIV. He was such a strong and caring man, who picked himself up after figuratively getting knocked down on his knees. He had wonderful support from his brother, Dustin. Even with the seriousness of the subject matter, the story wasn't weighed down by it, and that was because of Jeremy, realizing that this was an opportunity for him to reassess things and take charge of his life.
And Aaron was a complex man, relying on his "camouflage" of anger and pushing people away when things got overwhelming for him. Jeremy was good for him. He brought out a fun and playful side of Aaron that you know he needed.
There's a twist that occurred, which I'll be honest I didn't see coming, but made me feel that the hand of fate was at work here. I loved the epilogue, bringing things all together at the end. Definitely will be a story that I will be revisiting again and again.
Eventually, Jeremy picks himself up and gathers the courage to go to the free HIV clinic in his town in Maine. While in the waiting room, he introduces himself to Aaron, an angry, gorgeous man. After getting his initial testing results, knowing that he has a window of three months until he has to come back to get tested again, he leaves the clinic and is crashed into by whom other than Aaron. Surprising himself, he asks Aaron for coffee. They end up spending a fun and amusing day and evening together, which ends abruptly, confusing the hell out of Jeremy. He doesn't know why. With subsequent, unplanned meetings with Aaron, he still doesn't understand. It isn't until later that a secret is revealed, throwing everything off balance.
I loved this story and how Jeremy had to deal with the real-life crisis of being exposed to HIV. He was such a strong and caring man, who picked himself up after figuratively getting knocked down on his knees. He had wonderful support from his brother, Dustin. Even with the seriousness of the subject matter, the story wasn't weighed down by it, and that was because of Jeremy, realizing that this was an opportunity for him to reassess things and take charge of his life.
And Aaron was a complex man, relying on his "camouflage" of anger and pushing people away when things got overwhelming for him. Jeremy was good for him. He brought out a fun and playful side of Aaron that you know he needed.
There's a twist that occurred, which I'll be honest I didn't see coming, but made me feel that the hand of fate was at work here. I loved the epilogue, bringing things all together at the end. Definitely will be a story that I will be revisiting again and again.
November 1, 2014
Jeremy comes home one day with to a Dear John letter from his boyfriend of ten months, stating he tested positive. Well, that just throws him onto an emotional roller coaster. At the HIV clinic, he meets Aaron. He has a similar story, but it was by text. Well, Jeremy and Aaron end up spending the whole day together and into the night. They have a fun filled night of taste testing condoms…which leads to a hot, sizzling kiss. But just as Jeremy thinks are going well, Aaron does a 180 and kicks him out, with no explanation.
Jeremy can’t stop thinking about Aaron. He even stalks him a little bit, which backfires. Finally, we get some family members to come in an intervene. We find out Aaron’s ‘secret’ and they both have to work through it.
‘Window’ was a good title for this story. Because most of the story takes place during the ‘window’ which is the waiting period. They both test negative at first, but have to wait another three months to be tested again. We have the cheating ex try to come back into his life as if he didn’t do anything wrong. Thankfully, Jeremy told him off and even had his locks changed.
I love the epilogue at the end. It was wrapped up very nicely.
Jeremy can’t stop thinking about Aaron. He even stalks him a little bit, which backfires. Finally, we get some family members to come in an intervene. We find out Aaron’s ‘secret’ and they both have to work through it.
‘Window’ was a good title for this story. Because most of the story takes place during the ‘window’ which is the waiting period. They both test negative at first, but have to wait another three months to be tested again. We have the cheating ex try to come back into his life as if he didn’t do anything wrong. Thankfully, Jeremy told him off and even had his locks changed.
I love the epilogue at the end. It was wrapped up very nicely.
July 28, 2014
Boy, did I feel for Jeremy; from the moment he came home to find out his partner left him with only a Dear John letter, to trying to cope with the prospect of testing HIV positive, he stole my heart. Then there's Aaron, who on his birthday of all days, is at the same clinic getting tested as well. Aaron wraps himself in a cloak of anger, pushing people away, and it would have been so easy for him to be one of those characters you hated: he's so angry and stubborn, saying and doing hurtful things, giving mixed messages… but really, you just sense his vulnerability. In the end, Aaron will push Jeremy out of his comfort zone, and Jeremy will give Aaron some much needed balance.
(There's this great scene of taste testing flavored condoms that read sexy and funny and I guarantee will be turned into a drinking game at some point for those who read it.)
The character development in this story is so good and it's so well written. Everything felt genuine and there is definitely a brother-of-the-year award to be given to Jeremy's brother.
I did see the twist coming a mile away but I still enjoyed to story regardless. I'm a sucker for epilogues, and this one was beautiful.
A great addition to this event. My thanks to the author for their time and participation.
(There's this great scene of taste testing flavored condoms that read sexy and funny and I guarantee will be turned into a drinking game at some point for those who read it.)
The character development in this story is so good and it's so well written. Everything felt genuine and there is definitely a brother-of-the-year award to be given to Jeremy's brother.
I did see the twist coming a mile away but I still enjoyed to story regardless. I'm a sucker for epilogues, and this one was beautiful.
A great addition to this event. My thanks to the author for their time and participation.
Want to read
July 27, 2014What a nifty cover, eh? -koff- Hush, go with it.
August 12, 2014
More like 4.5 stars, although I found the twist a bit too much, albeit it was written very compelling. Yes, overall I liked it a lot.
August 6, 2014
Thank you. I could not put this down until I knew what the test results were. Very well done.
November 19, 2014
Loved the beginning but things went downhill after chapter 5.
November 11, 2014
This story started out very strong and had a great potential, unfortunately it went downhill very fast. I'm really disappointed thinking about the beginning and how the story developed.
I have now two new pet peeves (which are not inherently this author's mistake but she (over) used it just once too often in teamwork with others). That's the expression:
"Where did that thought come from" - I can't read this anymore!!! Dear author's please ban this sentence from your stories! Apart from that, it's lazy writing in my opinion. As well as the "runaway mouth, blurting out things" to get the story moving.
That said, this story was very soon made up of cliches, including protective brother, mother with sixth sense (no sixth sense there, just incredibly nosy if she knows when a guy leaves her son's apartment somewhere in the early am's), the double cheating ex, the BIG misunderstanding, the on the knees proposal etc.
When I go by Aaron's mom's definition of her son's character: "...either he punches them (people he does not like) in the face, or he completely ignores them. You, he actually cares enough to yell at." - prime relationship material!!!!
I repeatedly wondered about some logistics, like when Jeremy knocks the bear out of Aaron's hand. Aaron must have taken his bear into the bathroom or what? Someone help me here please. Or when Jeremy kisses down Aaron's body he kind of magically turns from back to stomach and back or someone must be very bendy.
There's a lot of growling going on in the last part. Lots and lots of growling...
The end, starting with the reuniting is so sappy, if this would be a paperback, pages would stick together.
Dear author, I sincerely apologize for this review, I know I'm not capable of writing like you at all, would be happy if I could, but it seems many people loved your story which is great for you. It just wasn't my thing. I would have loved to read a story about one or both MC's being positive. HIV isn't a death sentence anymore like it has been if treated. But it sure as hell is no piece of cake to live with and THAT'S the story I would have loved to read.
I have now two new pet peeves (which are not inherently this author's mistake but she (over) used it just once too often in teamwork with others). That's the expression:
"Where did that thought come from" - I can't read this anymore!!! Dear author's please ban this sentence from your stories! Apart from that, it's lazy writing in my opinion. As well as the "runaway mouth, blurting out things" to get the story moving.
That said, this story was very soon made up of cliches, including protective brother, mother with sixth sense (no sixth sense there, just incredibly nosy if she knows when a guy leaves her son's apartment somewhere in the early am's), the double cheating ex, the BIG misunderstanding, the on the knees proposal etc.
When I go by Aaron's mom's definition of her son's character: "...either he punches them (people he does not like) in the face, or he completely ignores them. You, he actually cares enough to yell at." - prime relationship material!!!!
I repeatedly wondered about some logistics, like when Jeremy knocks the bear out of Aaron's hand. Aaron must have taken his bear into the bathroom or what? Someone help me here please. Or when Jeremy kisses down Aaron's body he kind of magically turns from back to stomach and back or someone must be very bendy.
There's a lot of growling going on in the last part. Lots and lots of growling...
The end, starting with the reuniting is so sappy, if this would be a paperback, pages would stick together.
Dear author, I sincerely apologize for this review, I know I'm not capable of writing like you at all, would be happy if I could, but it seems many people loved your story which is great for you. It just wasn't my thing. I would have loved to read a story about one or both MC's being positive. HIV isn't a death sentence anymore like it has been if treated. But it sure as hell is no piece of cake to live with and THAT'S the story I would have loved to read.
November 7, 2014
I greatly enjoyed this story; it kept the reader invested, wondering why Aaron runs hot and cold with Jeremy each time. Jeremy thinks there is something there between them but Aaron has made it more than clear he’s not interested, though there are times when he unintentionally reveals that he does care more than he lets on. The reveal of why Jeremy acted the way he did was a bit anticlimactic for me, I think I saw it coming, and it was a tiny bit of a stretch, the whole ‘keeping you away from me because I felt bad about what I did, even though it wasn’t my fault’ schtick but this was written so that I didn’t mind in the least and still loved the story by the end. Loved it!
January 14, 2015
Another favourite from this years Love's Landscapes event.
Aaron and Jeremy meet when both are at an STD clinic for tests after their unfaithful partners have tested HIv positive. Both are devastated at the deceptions and at the possibility of being exposed to infection.
I liked that after their initial meeting, they continued to develop a friendship and eventually a relationship - though the identity of the 'boyfriends' was not so much of a surprise given the clues!
Just enjoyed the development of the story.
Aaron and Jeremy meet when both are at an STD clinic for tests after their unfaithful partners have tested HIv positive. Both are devastated at the deceptions and at the possibility of being exposed to infection.
I liked that after their initial meeting, they continued to develop a friendship and eventually a relationship - though the identity of the 'boyfriends' was not so much of a surprise given the clues!
Just enjoyed the development of the story.
December 24, 2014
2.5 stars.
The beginning was great..I felt all the tension and suspense of the testing, and was really worried for Jeremy.. Loved reading about his meeting Aaron, the walk in the town, and then the condom tasting - great, great, great!
Then - bam! it all fizzled and went the direction I really didn't care for. Aaron's behavior was awful, Jeremy's obsession and stalking were downright disturbing, Greg's portrayal as the evilest ex alive was quite ridiculous..so toward the end I no more cared for the characters.
Bummer.
On the plus side, Jeremy's brother was a sweetheart.
The beginning was great..I felt all the tension and suspense of the testing, and was really worried for Jeremy.. Loved reading about his meeting Aaron, the walk in the town, and then the condom tasting - great, great, great!
Then - bam! it all fizzled and went the direction I really didn't care for. Aaron's behavior was awful, Jeremy's obsession and stalking were downright disturbing, Greg's portrayal as the evilest ex alive was quite ridiculous..so toward the end I no more cared for the characters.
Bummer.
On the plus side, Jeremy's brother was a sweetheart.
December 7, 2014
Jeremy comes home to find a Dear John letter along with a copy of his partners latest positive HIV results.
On the day he goes to be tested he meet Aaron. The 2 hit it off and spend the day together. All goes well until Jeremy is in the bathroom and he receives a text. Aaron then turns on him.
It transpires that Jeremy's ex was also seeing Aaron.
I enjoyed this story. Set against the backdrop of HIV it was a quick read.
Loved Jeremy's brother Dustin.
On the day he goes to be tested he meet Aaron. The 2 hit it off and spend the day together. All goes well until Jeremy is in the bathroom and he receives a text. Aaron then turns on him.
It transpires that Jeremy's ex was also seeing Aaron.
I enjoyed this story. Set against the backdrop of HIV it was a quick read.
Loved Jeremy's brother Dustin.
September 14, 2014
This short has it all... scum sucking ex, heart broken MC, misunderstood angry MC, crazy supportive family members, angst, potential HEA. I loved all of the characters especially the supporting ones, Dustin and Maggie. Great villain in Greg.
October 26, 2014
That was unexpected! I truly don't think many of these stories are five star ones-because even the good ones aren't really polished. But this story definitely shines. Thank you for a sexy, sweet, and lovely short!
January 18, 2015
very good contemporary story of two men who meet in an HIV testing centre and end up spending the day together afterwards with it leading, eventually, to a relationship
August 5, 2014
What a great story! Thank You
October 25, 2014
A little predictable and cheesy at times but overall still quite enjoyable.
August 1, 2014
Wow!!! I did not see that coming. Very good story. Yes, I did shed a tear, or two, OK, more than two... Well done Ali. This is going in my "keeper" collection! :D
April 27, 2016
I love the direction this took. The issue of HIV was unexpected and it made the story real. Great work!
September 16, 2014
I had to read this story in one go. Outstanding. Thank you to the author and the LL team.
September 26, 2014
I just really liked this sweet and compelling story. Well done.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 48 reviews