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The Bane Chronicles #11

The Voicemail of Magnus Bane

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The voice mail of Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn, in the days following a certain incident in City of Lost Souls.

16 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 11, 2014

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About the author

Cassandra Clare

185 books262k followers
Hello Goodreadsers. Here's my official bio:

"Cassandra Clare was born overseas and spent her early years traveling around the world with her family and several trunks of fantasy books. Cassandra worked for several years as an entertainment journalist for the Hollywood Reporter before turning her attention to fiction. She is the author of City of Bones, the first book in the Mortal Instruments trilogy and a New York Times bestseller. Cassandra lives with her fiance and their two cats in Massachusetts."

You can find me online at

www.cassandraclare.com

I have a blog:

http://cassandraclare.livejournal.com/

and a Facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/Cassandraclare

and a Twitter:

www.twitter.com/cassieclare

I'll be available here on Goodreads to answer questions for a Goodreads Author Discussion starting September 18 — http://www.goodreads.com/group/show/3...

Go sign up so you don't miss the conversation when it starts!

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5 stars
3,048 (45%)
4 stars
1,796 (27%)
3 stars
1,282 (19%)
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130 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 558 reviews
Profile Image for Pam.
1,093 reviews1,009 followers
May 21, 2015
4 bonus shortie stars



Narrated by Cecil Baldwin, Jamie Bamber, George Blagden, Gareth David-Lloyd, Jordan Gavaris, Stephen Lunsford, David Oyelowo, Andrew Scott, Michael Trevino, Jesse Williams

Eleven of ten adventures in The Bane Chronicles. Bonus Read.

Ever wonder what was said during those calls Alec, Clary, Simon and Isabelle made to Magnus, well this is it. Take it for what it is, they all get an A for effort, although loved Isabelle's more, just because she kicks butt. It was a cute addition, but don't expect too much for it's just a bonus scene.


October 30, 2016
¿Recuerdan eso terrible que sucede entre City of Lost Souls y City of Heavenly Fire? ¿Recuerdan todos esos mensajes de voz que Alec y medio mundo le dejan a Magnus en su móvil? ¡Pues helos aquí!

Hay que parar el mundo para admirar lo graciosa que es Isabelle con sus mensajes. Es decir, la comparación de la relación de Magnus y Alec con los gatos de cada uno fue épica. SO MANY LOLS!!!.

¿Y qué decir de los mensajes del propio Alec? Pobrecillo mío. Sufrió muchísimo :'(
Profile Image for Grace (LovingDemBooks) Z..
189 reviews1,420 followers
July 2, 2015
Buy this book HERE on Amazon

3.3 of 5 stars (Please read my rating system further below). This was hilarious and quirky. What awesomeness!!!

My rating system: (I do use half stars.)
5 - I do not use the 5 star. Not because a book might not be worthy, but because a book is never perfect.
4 - I loved it! There weren't too many flaws, and I had no trouble getting through it. (A 4 star rating is the highest rating I've ever given a book.)
3 - I enjoyed the book, but there we're flaws that made me enjoy it less.
2 - I finished the book, but there were too many flaws for me to enjoy it.
1 - I could not finish the book, and I probably did not finish it....
Profile Image for dia.
304 reviews152 followers
July 15, 2022
it was quite dramatic and i just didn’t very enjoy it
Profile Image for Althea ☾.
623 reviews1,926 followers
Read
November 23, 2021
this was just so adorable

1. What Really Happened in Peru - ★★★☆☆
2. The Runaway Queen - ★★☆☆☆
3. Vampires, Scones, and Edmund Herondale - ★★★★★
4. The Midnight Heir - ★★★★★
5. The Rise of the Hotel Dumort - ★★☆☆☆
6. Saving Raphael Santiago - ★★★★☆
7. The Fall of the Hotel Dumort - ★★★★☆
8. What To Buy the Shadowhunter Who Has Everything - ★★★★☆
9. The Last Stand of the New York Institute - ★★★★★
10. The Course of True Love [and First Dates] - ★★★★★
11. The Voicemail of Magnus Bane - ★★★☆☆

//
someone needs to explain to me why all the other audiobooks are on my libby and this one IS NOT.

...it’s the LAST STORY 🙃
December 27, 2016
“Mrrrrrowl. Mrrrrrowl.”
“Ow! Ow, stupid cat! Ahem. You told me, ‘stop calling, Isabelle,’ but I’m not the one calling you. Church is calling you. Mine are merely the fingers that work the phone.
“See, here’s something you may not have known before you committed your recent rash acts. Our cat, Church, and your cat, Chairman Meow? They’re in love. I’ve never seen such love before. I never knew such love could exist in the heart of a . . . cat. Some people say that love between two dude cats is wrong, but I think it’s beautiful. Love makes Church happier than I’ve ever seen him. Nothing makes him happy like Chairman Meow. Not tuna. Not shredding centuries-old tapestries. Nothing. Please don’t keep these cats apart. Please don’t take the joy of love away from Church.”
- Isabelle Lightwood
Profile Image for katia.
305 reviews248 followers
December 2, 2022
sick of this mf novella 😭 it keeps glitching & i have to fix it everytime or it wont count towards my reading goal
Profile Image for Andre.
1,314 reviews83 followers
September 19, 2015
Since I read this "story" a while ago and reference it in my review on the entire chronicles, I might as well review it here also.
Calling this a bonus story is being really generous with the definition of the term "story" as this here was just a bunch of messages on Magnus' phone over the course of 3 days. And boy is this ridiculous in both its execution and message. And of course the message is here just as screwed and ridiculous as it was in City of Heavenly Fire.
And boy did this make the characters look bad and ridiculous: They make Isabelle look like an obsessed, creepy, stalking, maniacal fag-hag, let Alec basically grovel and look incredibly pathetic, shove one character after another at us who shouldn't even be here (even now full blown emo Raphael, Simon, Maureen and Maia), including Mrs. Lightwood, who at least supports her son's decisions, which is somewhat contradictory to what was stated in City of Lost Souls.
And of course this here wants us to sympathize with Magnus, but he is really freaking me out right now. After all no one forced him to destroy his phone at the end.
Like the rest of the Bane Chronicles, this doesn't make me sympathize with Magnus it makes me distain and fear him. He comes along like a giant man-child more in line with the Kim's of North Korea than any positive portrayal of a bisexual, centuries old Indonesian warlock that his fans claim him to be. Not that he is truly any of these things, but as you know lip-service often works better than actual representation, because lip-service doesn't really run the danger of presenting anything that would challenge dominant notions. Trust me; Magnus is about as Indonesian and centuries old as I am. Heck I might be more Indonesian than he is and I have no Indonesian ancestry at all, at least as far as I know.

PS. No wonder the story has Maureen say she is a big fan of Yaoi manga, since Alec's and Magnus' relationship fits in with the worst examples of that genre, including the fact that it is not really supportive of same sex relationships and doesn't actually treat them as equally valid forms of living together but rather as a cheap gimmick to score points with the target demographic.
Profile Image for Sinead.
588 reviews80 followers
March 6, 2016
Hilarious and completely heartbreaking at the same time! Magnus and Alec belong together, why don't they see that??
Profile Image for Wren (fablesandwren).
669 reviews1,498 followers
September 17, 2020
This was interesting… but I didn’t like it.



I WAS BORED.

Order to Read this Series:
The Mortal Instruments #01: City of Bones
The Mortal Instruments #02: City of Ashes
The Mortal Instruments #03: City of Glass
The Infernal Devices #01: Clockwork Angel
The Mortal Instruments #04: City of Heavenly Fire
The Infernal Devices #02: Clockwork Prince
The Mortal Instruments #05: City of Lost Souls
The Infernal Devices #03: Clockwork Princess
The Mortal Instruments #06: City of Fallen Angels

*The next two (The Bane Chronicles and Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy) are optional. They are groups of novellas. I believe in reading novellas so you can pick up different things in the books that follow.

The Bane Chronicles #01: What Really Happened in Peru
The Bane Chronicles #02: The Runaway Queen
The Bane Chronicles #03: Vampires, Scones, & Edmund Herondale
The Bane Chronicles #04: The Midnight Heir
The Bane Chronicles #05: The Rise of the Hotel Dumort
The Bane Chronicles #06: Saving Raphael Santiago
The Bane Chronicles #07: The Fall of Hotel Dumort
The Bane Chronicles #08: What to Buy the Shadowhunter…
The Bane Chronicles #09: The Last Stand of the New York Institute
The Bane Chronicles #10: The Course of True Love
The Bane Chronicles #11: The Voicemail of Magnus Bane

Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy #01: Welcome to Shadowhunter Academy
Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy #02: The Lost Herondale
Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy #03: The Whitechapel Fiend
Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy #04: Nothing but Shadows
Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy #05: The Evil We Love
Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy #06: Pale Kings and Princes
Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy #07: Bitter of Tongue
Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy #08: The Fiery Trial
Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy #09: Born to Endless Night
Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy #10: Angels Twice Descending

The Dark Artifices #01: Lady Midnight
The Dark Artifices #02: Lord of Shadows
The Dark Artifices #03: Queen of Air and Darkness
Profile Image for Liam.
283 reviews2,329 followers
July 11, 2017
✨ 3.7 STARS ✨

Hilarious!!!! Was so funny to see how all the characters reacted differently, especially Isabelle what a queen!! Will I ever get tired of reading malec related stories? Nope!
Profile Image for AmeliaaXavier.
161 reviews136 followers
February 1, 2016
Actual Rating: 3.5 MALEC Stars!

description
"The light woods are a seriously hot people, some people say the Herondales used to be hot, but think about it - not only do we outnumber them but we took their hottie and we made him ours. Obviously we won the victory."


Very witty voicemails of Isabelle, Church!, Clary, Simon, Maia and Raphael trying to convince Magnus to contact Alec. Alec's voicemails are moving as well as he tried to get Magnus to call him. Very short, I read the whole thing in half an hour (with interruptions)! I just didn't like how the others don't know the full story of what had happened and "kinda" blaming Magnus for not contacting Alec..

Having said that I really did enjoy the various messages. Now I just want to know what happened to the toads!
Profile Image for Jeannette.
650 reviews139 followers
December 8, 2015
Not what I was expecting. I thought this would be the most impressive out of all of the stories. Especially considering that it's the last one. But... nope.
Profile Image for Melanie.
1,157 reviews97.9k followers
February 4, 2023
“Please don’t ever tell Jace I said he was a badass.”

This short story is just a transcript of voicemails that the Shadowhunters left for Magnus after the end of City of Lost Souls, when he and Alec broke up. It just wasn’t enjoyable and was a lot of harassment even though I know that it was coming from a place of good. I just, thought this was honestly a bit pointless, but I know it was supposed to be heartwarming. I will also say that I think it was a really poor choice for a concluding story, because it for sure finished the entire anthology on a low note.

Blog | Instagram | Twitter | Tumblr | Youtube | Twitch

(I read this in The Bane Chronicles!) ✨
Profile Image for Amanda.
94 reviews67 followers
November 6, 2015
She adds that she supports you and she is a fan of much ‘yaoi
manga.’ I have no idea what that means, and I never wish to know.


I had to read that horrible line so you all did too.

I don't know what this was supposed to accomplish. It's pretty much yeah Magnus and Alec's relationship is pretty unhealthy, but how can we make it worse?

Let's publish a bunch of phone messages from the other characters in the book harassing Magnus into getting back together with Alec. Stating things like dumping Alec is stupid because he's super hot. Or the fact that before being with Magnus Alec was cranky and mean to Clary, so what's Clary going to do if he's mean and cranky to her again.

Just. No.
Profile Image for Joana.
604 reviews56 followers
November 30, 2018
This was fun!! Poor Magnus though.

Izzy is a very persistent girl.. and a good sister.


"Our cat, Church, and your cat, Chairman Meow? They're in love." eheh
Profile Image for JUJUHYE 🍓.
231 reviews12 followers
April 22, 2022
5 Stars!


The Voicemail of Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn, in the Days Following a Certain Incident in City of Lost Souls


~~~


Today 2:10 a.m.

“Hi, Magnus. This is Isabelle Lightwood. There seems to have been a small misunderstanding. My brother came home under an impression I’m sure is totally mistaken. Call me or else, and let’s get this cleared up! I don’t know why I said ‘or else.’ We’re all friends here.”

Beep


Today 2:35 a.m.

“Isabelle speaking. Maybe there hasn’t been a misunderstanding. Maybe you just made a terrible error. That’s okay! People make mistakes. All they have to do is grovel and beg for forgiveness, and then all is well. That’s how it can be. I’m prepared to let it go this once, Magnus.”

Beep


Today 3:00 a.m.

“Isabelle. Let me just follow up by describing what a big mistake you would be making if you broke up with Alec. The Lightwoods are a seriously hot people. Some people say the Herondales used to be hot, but think about it—not only do we outnumber them, but we took their last hottie and we made him ours. Obviously, we won the victory.

“I have looked back on portraits of our ancestors. Gabriel Lightwood was notably smoking. It is rumored that one Consul agreed with everything my great-great aunt Felicia Lightwood ever said, because when she spoke all he heard was ‘Foxy foxy foxy.’ If you break up with Alec, you will not only be losing one stone cold fox, but a family of foxes. I will pass down the word to my children’s children. No Lightwood is ever going to so much as wink at you in a bar. Think about that. Think about being Lightwoodless and lonely five hundred years from now, in a sad and chilly nightclub on the moon.”

Beep


~~~


Today 11:48 p.m.

“No, you listen, with your not-calling-back face! You’re making a big mistake! I was the best thing that ever happened to you!

“Uh. Okay, statistically, that’s not very likely.

“A lot of stuff has happened to you. A lot of people have happened to you.

“I think that was what made me do what I did. I just wanted to know that I wasn’t, you know, low down on a long list. I didn’t want to be a pretty mediocre footnote in the story of your life.

“Oh, God.

“Jace. Jace, wake up. Jace, how do you delete messages on someone else’s phone?”

Beep


LMAOOOOO MAGNUS WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH THESE KIDS 😭

This was absolutely chaotic and so freaking hilarious! I love how all the characters reacted so differently. Especially Izzy. Like is she wrong tho? 🤪


I had so much fun reading The Bane Chronicles and am sad to say goodbye. Reading the snippets of Magnus’s life was incredibly fun and entertaining but also very interesting and eye-opening. He’s sarcastic and humorous and bright, but I feel like at times it’s a cover to hide the pain and hardships he’s seen and experienced throughout his long life. He hinted at the heartache he had to live with for so many years as he reminisced over the loved ones he watched grow old and die while he remained ageless, and it reminded that being immortal is nothing to covet. Love love love Magnus Bane to death. I will never get enough of the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Oh, and Ragnor Fell, Catarina Loss, Raphael Santiago, and some of the other beloved characters that treat us with their presence should get honorable mentions because they added so much to the stories.
Fast, oftentimes hilarious, at times emotional, sometimes even dark, The Bane Chronicles is another masterpiece by Cassandra Clare and one I’m so so SO incredibly glad I picked up. Thank you, Cassie.
Profile Image for Debra.
1,114 reviews75 followers
September 13, 2018
I loved this series of novellas. Normally, for me, I don't tend to pick up novellas as the ones I have attempted to pick up before with other series they haven't really added much to the story and I just lost interest. But, this series of novellas is something different. Not only does it add more to the story of the Shadowhunter world but it fills in some of the blanks and answers a lot of questions I had when I finished City of Heavenly Fire. As Magnus Bane is one of my favourite characters in this world, I thoroughly enjoyed following him throughout his past and present. This series of novellas gives great back story to some of the Shadowhunter world before the Mortal Instruments series, fills in some blacks from the series and adds more depth to certain characters that were in the Mortal Instruments series and may be yet to come in further books...

FOR MORE THOUGHTS ON THE INDIVIDUAL STORIES IN THIS BOOK, PLEASE SEE THE LINK BELOW.

For more reviews, please check out the link below:
Debra's Book Cafe

Debs :-)
Profile Image for Thibaut Nicodème.
575 reviews132 followers
December 13, 2015
Full review on my blog, the Snark Theater.

So…this is a collection of unfunny messages on Magnus's voicemails. "Take Alec back", say the characters, like avatars of the yaoi fangirls Cassandra Clare is pandering to. One such fangirl is actually mentioned in this story.

All this leaves me is wondering how or why he got back with Alec after hearing all of this. I'd just run away as far as possible from the crazy people.

Aside from that, this is character assassination (mostly for poor Isabelle, who's the most heavily featured in this) and padding. And it's a cheap marketing tactic to get people to buy a compilation after all the stories were released individually. Which is just despicable. Well, joke's on Clare anyway.
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