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16 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 11, 2014
"The light woods are a seriously hot people, some people say the Herondales used to be hot, but think about it - not only do we outnumber them but we took their hottie and we made him ours. Obviously we won the victory."
“Please don’t ever tell Jace I said he was a badass.”
The Voicemail of Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn, in the Days Following a Certain Incident in City of Lost SoulsLMAOOOOO MAGNUS WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH THESE KIDS 😭
Today 2:10 a.m.
“Hi, Magnus. This is Isabelle Lightwood. There seems to have been a small misunderstanding. My brother came home under an impression I’m sure is totally mistaken. Call me or else, and let’s get this cleared up! I don’t know why I said ‘or else.’ We’re all friends here.”
Today 2:35 a.m.
“Isabelle speaking. Maybe there hasn’t been a misunderstanding. Maybe you just made a terrible error. That’s okay! People make mistakes. All they have to do is grovel and beg for forgiveness, and then all is well. That’s how it can be. I’m prepared to let it go this once, Magnus.”
Today 3:00 a.m.
“Isabelle. Let me just follow up by describing what a big mistake you would be making if you broke up with Alec. The Lightwoods are a seriously hot people. Some people say the Herondales used to be hot, but think about it—not only do we outnumber them, but we took their last hottie and we made him ours. Obviously, we won the victory.
“I have looked back on portraits of our ancestors. Gabriel Lightwood was notably smoking. It is rumored that one Consul agreed with everything my great-great aunt Felicia Lightwood ever said, because when she spoke all he heard was ‘Foxy foxy foxy.’ If you break up with Alec, you will not only be losing one stone cold fox, but a family of foxes. I will pass down the word to my children’s children. No Lightwood is ever going to so much as wink at you in a bar. Think about that. Think about being Lightwoodless and lonely five hundred years from now, in a sad and chilly nightclub on the moon.”
Today 11:48 p.m.
“No, you listen, with your not-calling-back face! You’re making a big mistake! I was the best thing that ever happened to you!
“Uh. Okay, statistically, that’s not very likely.
“A lot of stuff has happened to you. A lot of people have happened to you.
“I think that was what made me do what I did. I just wanted to know that I wasn’t, you know, low down on a long list. I didn’t want to be a pretty mediocre footnote in the story of your life.
“Jace. Jace, wake up. Jace, how do you delete messages on someone else’s phone?”