I got the book in English because I figured it would be a good business investment. Now when it wins the Booker Prize, and I’m really rooting for that to happen, I’ll get it signed by the author at some book fair and sell it on eBay. I’m joking. Or maybe not.
There’s a quote, not from this book but from another one:
“A person dies twice, once when they stop doing what they love, and the second time when they actually die.”
Here I’ll need your imagination.
Imagine you’re traveling by train, let’s say it’s a slow night train. Next to you sits a person who is traveling to attend the funeral of a friend. You might feel some empathy. You might offer your condolences. But in the end, you’re tired, you just want to get home and go to sleep.
A week passes and you’re on the same train again, but this time you’re going to the funeral of a close relative. Now it’s different. You both want the journey to end and not to end, because where you’re going, nothing good is waiting for you. The train arrives. You have to walk from the station to your home. You don’t want to go back, you want to run away, to hide somewhere. But you’re carrying a big suitcase or bag, filled only with dirty clothes. There’s nowhere else to go except home, where pain is waiting.
For the third time, you’re on the same train. Why? Because there is always a third time. But this time, whose funeral is it? Before, it was random. Then it was someone close to you. And now? Could it be your own?
How many times have you already been on this third journey, how many times have you died? What changed, and what always stayed the same?
The main character in the novel "She Who Remains" has been stuck in this third journey since she was born.
To break the cycle, she needs to start doing something she loves, or more precisely, to find someone to love. That someone could even be herself. Only then could her death feel real.
You can probably already tell where this book is going. Toward tears.
From the very beginning, it’s clear that this won’t be a story with a clear beginning, middle, and end. It feels more like a stream of thoughts, trauma, memories, and questions about identity, the body, and belonging. The book moves between the real and the symbolic, often leaving the reader to decide what everything means.
There’s something powerful in the way the text creates atmosphere. Some moments feel painfully honest, almost like a confession. You can sense that the author is trying to say something important, something personal. And when those moments land, the book truly hits.
I would describe it as a kind of poetic essay.
In terms of story and overall feeling, it reminded me a bit of "The Kite Runner". It touches on similar themes, but this time from a female perspective.
Of course, the book has its downsides. In general, I don’t like it when a book’s theme doesn’t allow you to step away from its dramatic tone. For example, books about slavery, genocide, and similar topics. It’s easy to win over the reader by making them feel strong emotions through already existing tragedy.
Rene Karabash manages to keep that balance quite well.
But that also leads to another drawback. The topic of the Outcast stays somewhat in the background. The novel doesn’t have a clearly defined time period, although 2017 is mentioned at one point. If a reader takes the book too literally, as something documentary or historical, it might not work well for them. There are gaps and inconsistencies, but I don’t think that’s the point.
Now back to my joke at the beginning. I read the book in English because I was curious how it would feel, and then I listened to the audiobook in Bulgarian to see if there were differences. I can say that the translator did an amazing job. Almost nothing is lost, except for the title, which simply can’t really be "translated".
Pre_read:
I’m really excited.
Today I watched an interview with the author, and she seemed like a very interesting person. So I decided to give her work a chance.
This will be the first piece of contemporary Bulgarian prose I’ve read. Some time ago I tried poetry and got burned pretty badly.
I hope it turns out well, but even if I don’t like it, that shouldn’t stop you from reading it. Being an author in Bulgaria is kind of a paradox :D So go ahead and buy it without hesitation.