Conversion Therapy Dropout: A Queer Story of Faith and Belonging

by Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez

A gay Christian's behind-the-scenes account of evangelical megachurches and eight years in conversion therapy before finding wholeness and authenticity.


Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez was an invisible architect behind evangelical Christianity's digital empire, crafting messages of belonging for some of the most influential megachurches--Hillsong Church, Elevation Church, Willow Creek--all while secretly questioning his own place within the faith.


In a desperate attempt to "fix" himself, he turned to conversion therapy, spending eight years trying to pray the gay away. And he wasn't alone. More than 700,000 people in the US have undergone some form of conversion therapy. Even though Exodus International, the largest ex-gay organization, closed in 2013, the practice still thrives in many conservative religious communities. After years of this harmful "therapy," Schraeder Rodriguez's sexuality never changed. But his faith did.The more time he spent in evangelical Christianity, the more he witnessed the hypocrisy of institutions that claimed to love everyone while quietly pushing people like him into silence. But Schraeder Rodriguez wouldn't remain silent. Instead, he forged a new path, discovering a vibrant faith beyond the constraints of non-affirming theology and finding a community that embraced his whole self.


Conversion Therapy Dropout is a behind-the-scenes look at megachurch culture, the hidden harm of non-affirming Christian spaces, and the ongoing impact of conversion therapy on gay Christians. This isn't just a coming-out story--it's about what happens after. About rebuilding a life outside the only world you've ever known. And the radical act of stepping into the light after being told your whole life to stay in the shadows. Sometimes, the greatest act of faith isn't holding on--it's letting go.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, LGBT, Christian, Audiobook, Biography Memoir

248 pages, Hardcover

First published May 1, 2026

About the author

Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez spent nearly a decade in gay conversion therapy—all while working behind the scenes at some of the most influential evangelical megachurches.

After embracing his identity as a gay Christian and leaving church work, he co-founded Church Clarity, an organization that helps queer people find affirming faith communities.

His writing and work have been featured in TIME, The Advocate, NBC, VICE, The Washington Post, HuffPost, Religion News Service, and BBC Newshour.

Born in the Midwest, he now calls New York City home, where he continues his work as a writer, digital strategist, and advocate for queer people of faith.

Reviews

[Angie Miale · Rating 5 out of 5]

Your heart will go on a roller coaster with this amazing memoir, a story that deserves to be told. The title tells you the gist— that this is about a man who tried everything in his power to not be gay and finally made his way to acceptance. Tim’s story is certainly not unique as thousands of men and women have been down this path, but he comes through with both a clarity of spirit and hope for the future of the church. Many did not survive.

Tim was raised in an Assembly of God Pentecostal church in Peoria. He worked tirelessly in church spaces and found his gift was in church multimedia marketing. Trained on staff, he made his way through bigger and bolder mega church spaces. He had a hand in communication messaging for some of the largest churches across the globe.

All while nearly bankrupting himself to go to any means necessary to “change” his sexuality.

This is what made this a special story for me. Tim spent 8 years in the now-defunct Exodus International and similar “therapy” NOT because his family insisted, but what he truly believed was a moral failing on his part. He knew he could not be accepted in his community and hated this part of himself.

Whether or not you are queer, most of us know the feeling that we won’t be lovable unless we change somehow.

Pete Buttigieg once said that there was a time in his life that if you offered him a pill to make him straight, he would have swallowed it before you had the chance to give him water. Tim’s story talks about the extraordinary lengths he went to change his sexuality. We now know that conversation therapy does not work and is extremely harmful and in many cases, deadly.

I think what stood out to me were the spaces that were seemingly accepting but still wanting gay Christians to “don’t ask don’t tell” or to remain celibate and how this felt like progress but in many cases, created more shame.

As a Jesus follower I am so disappointed in those that use their own interpretation of the Bible to shame and spiritually abuse others. Plain and simple- this is spiritual abuse. Jesus said if you cause young people to feel separated from God’s love you might as well tie a millstone around your neck and be drowned in the depth of the sea. I feel this scripture in my bones for all of the queer kids. Millions of queer kids think God’s love is not for them because of those in power.

There is nothing about you that needs to change. You are perfect as you are.

[Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some phrases were repeated too often and that drove me kind of crazy. But maybe that’s only someone like me, who copy edits books for a living, will notice and be a little annoyed by. But otherwise, this was heartbreaking and encouraging all the same.

I think the author showed really well just how hard he tried not to have same-sex attraction. The title of this book implies perhaps it was a one-off thing that he tried and then dropped, but that was not the case. He spent eight years trying to “become straight” and it never happened, despite how bad he wanted it to. And why did he want it to happen? Because this is what the church teaches. And why does the church teach this?

I’m not really not sure. I thought maybe while reading this that perhaps sexuality of any kind that doesn’t fit the church’s mold is threatening and something that needs to be controlled and squashed. (Purity culture that I grew up in being the “straight sexuality” issue pressed upon us as women.)

Two of my closest and oldest friends in this world are gay, and thinking about them going through what the author went through brings me to tears. I simply cannot imagine living this way and feeling so trapped with no way out yet wanting to please God and the church based on what they say.

I’m so glad the author feels affirmed, accepted, and loved just as he is. Because it’s true. Every human is fearfully and wonderfully made, not just straight people.

[Anthony · Rating 4 out of 5]

I began this book with a set of expectations of how it would play out. However, it was completely different, in a good way. Timothy tells the story of his life and his struggle with his sexuality, eventually turning to voluntary conversion therapy. I am really glad I was able to get an advanced copy (now released!) because I found it pretty insightful as someone who is not connected to any church or religion.

I felt it dragged a little in the middle where things weren’t really moving too much and I wanted him to just break free… but it makes total sense since this is being viewed through a 2026 lens.

I really hope his story can help those struggling with similar feelings.

4 Stars

[Eddie Brennan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had the opportunity to read the working copy of this last year and I was instantly brought into a world I was privileged to not experience. This is the largest subculture I think our country has, funneling billions of dollars from Christian rock mega churches into literal psychological warfare on queer people. Interesting story, engaging writing, and a beautiful message.

[Caleb Finley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Memoirs are some of my favorite books to read, as it gives such a unique insight to the author. But, knowing the author on a semi-personal level changes some of the insights. References, people, and shared experiences within certain settings give the book an even deeper truth to its words, which was the case for Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez’s ‘Conversion Therapy Dropout: A Queer Story of Faith and Belonging.’ Tim and I attended the same churches growing up; first, Faith Christian Center and then the break-off church Riverside Community Church. Our families know each other and have been in each other’s orbits for what feels like forever, so when Tim announced this book, I was more than intrigued to hear more of his story.

‘Conversion Therapy Dropout’ is a painful, yet rewarding documentation of Tim’s time in therapy groups, therapist offices, and countless retreat/conventions to fix what he had been brought up being told was broken about himself: his sexuality. Being gay, or even questioning your sexuality in the Evangelical Church is not allowed, nor is it even remotely a conversation to be had. We were taught being queer, of any kind, was worse than murder. The church also taught an abstinence only stance in youth group, which ended in multiple teen pregnancies (one of which was the head pastors daughter, but that’s a story for another time.) So, reading the struggles that Tim put himself through in hopes to become a more faithful servant of Christ was truly heartbreaking. While I have absolutely closed the door on religion, I commend Tim on his walk, the pain he went through to gain a deeper connection to his faith has caused many to end their lives, or hide their true selves within Lavender Marriages or taking a vow of celibacy.

The American Evangelical Church has many issues clouding over it, along with other religious sects based in the Pentecostal ways of teaching. As mentioned in the book, many queer folks go through so much self-loathing that it becomes dangerous; those who survive conversion therapy may end up okay, while others end up going to the extreme with their newfound sexual freedom by exploring drugs and alcohol to a dangerous point, and as mentioned before, some take their lives because they cannot handle the judgement, the hate, and the societal anguish religious groups hurl their way. Hearing how many church leaders spoke to Tim and pulled the “don’t ask, don’t tell” method was not surprising, but very disappointing. It further showed me that church leadership does not truly care about the person, but what you can do for them. Having parents once in church leadership positions, I saw many people taken advantage of, free labor exploited, and many manipulated under the guise of doing work “for the Lord.”

What is most remarkable about Timothy’s story is the view from the top of the mountain he climbed. He stopped looking for answers in church leaders and turned to community, but more importantly a Christ-loving gay community. Through it all, Tim remained so devout, so faithful and reticent in his search for the truth. His story will be inspiration for many other LGBTQIA+ Christians out there and I am so proud to see him thriving today!

‘Conversion Therapy Dropout’ is available for pre-order now and releases May 5, 2026.

[Oli R · Rating 5 out of 5]

I saw this book and immediately knew I had to read it, even knowing this book would likely be far too relatable and bring me to tears. I was right on both accounts but am so grateful that I was able to read this book.

In Conversion Therapy Drop Out, the author Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez, share his experiences as a queer person in the world of american evangelical christianity in the 90's and 2000's. This world is a brutal one and some would argue oppressive for all involved in it but especially anyone who did not fit the standard of cis, white and straight. Schraeder Rodriguez, worked for and had connections in some of the biggest churches in the country as social media and marketing specialist. In this book he shares his journey as he struggles to balance the expectations of the church and his faith with his sexuality as a gay man.

I'm only a few years younger than the author, grew up not far from him, and spent the first 30ish years of my life performing my gender and sexuality in the ways that I was taught were right and holy in fear of being abandoned by my community and the only god I ever knew. So much of his story was relatable and brought up my own memories of very similar experiences.

While I managed to dodge the horrors of Exodus International, I still experienced very similar experiences with shame, loneliness and self abandonment for the sake of my faith that the author did. As I read I was familiar with and have connections to many of the organizations mentioned.

I related to so much of this book but the following quote stuck with me:
“With all my best but futile efforts, I was trying to kill a part of myself I hadn’t even had the chance to understand because I believed that’s what God wanted me to do.”

It took til I was almost 30 to realize that part of me did not need to be killed off. That I was happier, healthier and better able to share kindness with those around me by starting with being kind to myself.

I know so many people with stories similar to mine - late bloomers who fought so hard to find a place where they could be both queer and christian. The trans people who like myself could not even begin to acknowledge their transness until later in life, the lesbians who married men because it was what they as godly women were called to do.

Conversion therapy and unaffirming theology not only squashes the very souls of people who just want to be themselves but is factually incorrect. It took me far too long to be able to dig deeper for myself and realize that the passages that were weaponized against me were mistranslated, misconstrued and twisted as a form of control, abuse and self righteousness.

His story is one that needed to be shared and needs to amplified. The harm done by all forms of conversion therapy is rampant in millenials and is likely to make a resurgence with the recent legal allowances than have been made for it.

The church has made some progress but they still have a long way to go. This book is a vital piece that needs to be shared because it puts a very real face to a very common story of the harm done by this incorrect theology.


Thank you to NetGalley, Broadleaf Books, and Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez for the eARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Conversion Therapy Dropout brings up a lot of emotions and thoughts, and it definitely lights a fire for advocacy work.

As someone who is entirely against conversion “therapy” and hate-filled christian “therapy,” the majority of this book was a bit tough to read. I found myself cringing for about 90% of the book due to Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez’s journey through conversion “therapy” and other harmful religious experiences with harmful beliefs and values.

I found myself wondering the entire time when Timothy was going to break free from the cycle, when he was going to stop accepting less than he deserved and step out of the shadows of the unaccepting and hateful religion. I am so happy for Timothy in the end. Happy that he was able to find his place in his faith despite everything he went through. Happy that he was able to stand up for himself (and others) and finally step out of the shadows. Happy that he is now able to live and love freely, and be unapologetically himself. Because that is the most important thing.

I wrestled a bit with my own thoughts and views while reading the book because I went into it fully expecting there to be a complete distancing from/rejection of religion and faith in the end. So, it was really great to read the actual outcome and see a different perspective than I would have expected in which he remains in the religion after it all. And I am happy to know that there are some religious communities and churches out there that are accepting and open and safe for the community (they ALL should be!).

The hypocrisy, the judgment, the ridicule, the discrimination, and the outward hate (because some don’t even try to hide it) by so many churches and religious people is insane. Of course this doesn’t mean all of them do this. This thought came up for me a lot while reading this book. It was heartbreaking to read about the experiences Timothy went through and the vile conversations he had with “leaders” in the religious community and those doing conversion “therapy.” And it is heartbreaking to know that he felt such shame and pain because of all those small-minded people. And it is even more heartbreaking to know that too many people die because of conversion “therapy” and the hate, ridicule, judgment, dismissal, etcetera. Churches and religious leaders need to do better.

I also want to be very clear: conversion “therapists” and christian “therapists” that support and push hateful and problematic ideology onto their clients are not true therapists. Sure, they may be using the title and may have gone through a small amount of clearly inadequate education and training, but they are imposters in the community. Real therapists follow ethical guidelines. Real therapists would never harm their clients like that. Real therapists would never push their own beliefs onto their clients nor would they use their own beliefs to justify mistreatment of clients. Those practices are completely against our Code of Ethics for so many reasons.

Unfortunately, the fight against conversion “therapy,” sometimes also referred to as “reparative therapy” or “sexual orientation change efforts”(SOCE) or “gender identity change efforts” (GICE), is not even close to being over. The American Psychological Association, The Trevor Project, Human Rights Campaign (HRC), GLAAD, PFLAG, Believe Out Loud, and National Center for LGBTQ Rights (NCLR) are some great resources for learning more and helping to support ending conversion therapy.

Thank you to NetGalley and Broadleaf Books for the ARC opportunity!

[Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

“With all my best but futile efforts, I was trying to kill a part of myself I hadn’t even had the chance to understand because I believed that’s what God wanted me to do.”

“We were selling belonging, a family for the lonely, but delivered exclusion. We promoted grace and acceptance but practiced judgment. And we preached authenticity while demanding conformity. It was the great paradox of modern evangelicalism.”

“My ideas of faithfulness were tangled up in sacrifice: that to truly serve God, someone like me had to lay down the desire to love and be loved. …I wrestled with what it meant to be faithful and whether faithfulness for me would always mean denying love itself.”

“I learned the hard way that true surrender isn’t giving up who you are, it’s laying down the burden of who others want you to be.”


This is an absolute gift of a book! I’m grateful to the author for his courage in sharing this captivating memoir. Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez tells his story as a gay Christian growing up in the world of evangelicalism, earnestly seeking to please God through years of conversion therapy and prayers to be “ex-gay.” He details his suffering due to the growing divide between his true self and the image he had to project in his work as “an invisible architect behind evangelical Christianity’s digital empire, crafting messages of belonging for some of the most influential megachurches.”

This is a story of hard-won freedom in discovering that the love and worthiness we often work so hard to earn has always belonged to us.

The writing is superb, with words woven like magic into a spell that grabbed me and pulled me into the story, holding my rapt attention to the end. The author portrays the people in his story with compassion while remaining clear about the harm he experienced. His faithfulness in wrestling with his beliefs and identity embodies an authentic, admirable faith.

Though I am sad to say that this is one of thousands of stories of the harm wrought by conversion therapy, I appreciate Schraeder Rodriguez’s perspective as a biracial adoptee who remained in contact with his birth family. Themes of identity and belonging are carried through complex family dynamics.

This is a powerful, painful, and inspiring story that is immensely needed. Conversion therapy for minors remains legal in about half of the states in the U.S., despite the fact that that “Research consistently demonstrates that ‘conversion therapy’ is associated with an extensive list of long-lasting social and emotional consequences,” according to the American Psychological Association.

This book is for anyone who is doing the holy work of coming home to your authentic self in a world that has told you that you are anything less than beloved.

Thank you to the publisher for my advance copy of this book.

[Chelsea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Broadleaf Books for providing me with this ARC, and for publishing stories and voices like this.

I knew I would have all the feels from the very beginning in the foreward written by the author's friend:
"What Christians have been saying to one another in Churches all over the world for hundreds of yeards: Peace Be With You. And what queer people and the people who love them say to one another: Happy Pride. Two ways of saying the most important thing any of us can say to one another: I believe in your fundamental belovedness."

"My queer friends teach me how to be more faithful. They teach me how to be more like Jesus. Tim teaches me how to be more like Jesus. When you've been turned away over and over but keep fighting for a better way, when you stand in front of people who are insisting on the status quo, but you keep advocating for the belovedness of all people, when you don't give up on a community you love because you believe so deeply in the possibility of its better future, you know what that sounds like to me? It sounds like Jesus." CHILLS

The foreward did not steal the show - that spotlight firmly belongs to Tim, but it did set the pace. I knew immediately I was about to be let into someone's hard won battle and I was going to be moved/shaken/and feel it to my core. Which is exactly what happened.

I inhaled these words - getting to 93% on my kindle as my eyes closed and then finishing the reading over morning coffee. Tim's resilience and kindness and journey is so clear and devoid of ego or anger- it allowed me to connect to my religious trauma - it allowed me to connect to the chosen family behind the author, it allowed me to see the bigger picture, especially while there is an administration presently that would prefer to keep a very different image of what it means to be Christian.
"The cost of conversion therapy isn't just measured in years lost, but in the ongoing struggle to believe you were worthy of love at all."

I think this book will save lives. It is brave and authentic and raw. I think it will allow for people to stop believing lies they are told about their amazing bodies and forms. I am so honoured I got to read this ARC and I can't wait for those who need Tim's words to find them.

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this in one day and cried multiple times while doing so.

I've only read a couple of conversion therapy memoirs but this one was closest to my experience of evangelicalism. Timothy was a transracial adoptee who grew up in a Christian home and was drawn to a youth group that was "cooler" and promised acceptance. He knew that he was different and that his church condemned homosexuality, but also that he loved Jesus. He contacted Exodus International himself and put himself into conversion therapy communities because he believed that that was what God wanted. But as he got older, he realized that none of Exodus International's conferences worked and he was still gay no matter how much he prayed or followed rules. In this memoir, we see a 30-year journey of a man trying to crush his spirit for Jesus while working for Christian organizations that wanted his talents, but only as long as he stayed closeted. This is a memoir of a man who moves from self-loathing and separation from friendship into peace that's found in self-acceptance and community.

Timothy is a decade older than me, so he experienced a different era of evangelicalism than I did. His peace and his joy have been hard won. Timothy also worked closely with so many of the evangelical churches and organizations that influenced my own church trauma. As a marketer, it's incredible to think that a handful of church marketers like Timothy taught so many "seeker sensitive" churches how to make glossy social media and websites that attract young people while covering up their own beliefs. While I was unaware of Church Clarity before this book, I see and appreciate the journey that led to its launch. Timothy is my queer elder, and I am so thankful that he wrote this.

I'm still coming off the heaviness of the topic but I'd recommend this book to:
- queer Christians (especially exvangelicals) who want to feel seen
- Millennials who had no idea what their peers were going through
- Evangelicals who have only ever heard that homosexuality is a sin
- anyone interested in learning about conversion therapy survivors

Thank you to Netgalley and Broadleaf books for the ARC.

[Em · Rating 4 out of 5]

Conversion Therapy Dropout: A Queer Story of Faith and Belonging by Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez is a brave, unflinching testimony about what it costs queer people to keep trying to belong in spaces that refuse to love them fully.

Rodriguez writes with heartbreaking clarity about years spent internalizing the lie that his longing for love was a sickness to be cured. From a so-called Christian therapist who treated desire like pathology, to shame-soaked “support” spaces that promised holiness and delivered harm, he captures how conversion therapy corrodes the soul. The author writes about how he was trying to kill a part of himself he hadn’t even had the chance to understand because he believed that’s what God required.

What makes this book especially powerful is its duality. By day, Rodriguez was a digital evangelist helping megachurches and Christian bands craft messages of belonging to attract new members. By night, he was quietly learning how to be free. The betrayal he experienced when a trusted pastor turned on him after learning he was gay becomes the emotional fault line of the book and the moment that pushed him deeper into conversion therapy, self-hatred, and years of unnecessary suffering.

This memoir opened my eyes to the depth and persistence of an unethical practice that is still legal in some places when pursued “voluntarily” for religious reasons and to the ripple effects it has on friendships, finances, mental health, and faith itself. This is a healing book for anyone standing at the painful intersection of faith and identity. It reminds us that if spirituality matters to you, you do not have to abandon yourself to keep God. Sometimes the most faithful act is choosing wholeness. I'm so proud of this author for sharing his story and I know so many others will be supported by his doing so.

[Grady Bosheers · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book in one word? Vital.
Conversion Therapy Dropout is a future seminal queer text, one that would be aptly shelved between Boy Erased and The Velvet Rage.

An unflinching memoir that is as incisive as it is introspective, CTD tackles themes of faith, morality, identity, and community with wit and tenderness in perfect accord. While there is countless data supporting the unethical practice and harmful effects of conversion therapy, it is often from firsthand experiences like Schraeder Rodriguez's that people understand its covert and destabilizing nature, how this so-called "treatment" has the opposite of its intended effect: it strays the Christian further from their God.

Schraeder Rodriguez makes his point clear: it is entirely possible and perfectly natural to be a proud, self-loving, and fully embodied gay person AND a devout, faithful Christian.

What I found so inspiring about this book was the author's seemingly undimmable, truly Christian capacity for forgiveness and acceptance: of the self and of others (and aren't we all seen as one in Christ? Galatians 3:28...).

Far from evangelical, the book preaches universal truths of love and recovery rooted in deeply personal stories. Passages range from laugh-out-loud to somber and elegiac, but are always delivered with heartfelt sincerity and elegance.

I cannot recommend this book enough, especially to the recovering Christian, the questioning queer, or anyone caught somewhere in the shadows in between. This book exists for them. I hope they find it. It could be what saves their lives.

[Blue Ant · Rating 5 out of 5]

What stayed with me most after reading Conversion Therapy Dropout was the tension between public messaging and private erasure. Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez writes from the unusual position of someone helping evangelical megachurches craft language about belonging while simultaneously absorbing the message that his own identity made him unacceptable within those same spaces.

I appreciated that the memoir spends as much time examining institutional culture as personal suffering. The behind the scenes details about Hillsong, Elevation, and Willow Creek give the narrative a layered perspective on how branding, theology, and emotional performance operate together inside modern evangelicalism. The book also refuses the neat structure of a simple escape narrative. The eight years spent in conversion therapy are presented not as isolated trauma, but as part of a larger system that conditions people to distrust themselves spiritually and emotionally.

This memoir will especially resonate with readers interested in stories about reconstructing identity after ideological environments that demanded self denial. By the end, the most affecting aspect is not rebellion itself, but the slow rebuilding of a faith that no longer requires invisibility.

[Laura Flavin · Rating 5 out of 5]

“CONVERSION THERAPY DROPOUT is a deeply personal and emotionally courageous work that explores identity, trauma, healing, and self-acceptance with striking honesty. Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez approaches difficult and deeply sensitive experiences with vulnerability and authenticity, creating a narrative that feels both intimate and profoundly impactful. The emotional transparency throughout the book allows readers to connect not only with the pain and conflict described, but also with the resilience and humanity behind the journey.”

“What stood out most was the book’s ability to confront painful realities while still carrying an underlying message of survival, growth, and personal truth. The storytelling feels sincere and emotionally grounded, giving readers insight into experiences that are often misunderstood or left unspoken. Beyond being a memoir of hardship, the book becomes a powerful reflection on reclaiming identity, overcoming shame, and finding the strength to live authentically. It’s the kind of story that can resonate deeply with readers seeking understanding, empathy, and hope.”

[Jo B · Rating 4 out of 5]

Conversion Therapy Dropout is a thoughtful and accessible memoir that sheds light on an extremely harmful practice without overwhelming the reader. What stands out most is the author’s measured, compassionate tone; while he makes it clear just how damaging conversion therapy can be, he avoids an overly graphic recounting of specifics. For readers who may feel hesitant about engaging with such a heavy topic, the author’s approach makes the book feel safe and approachable without diminishing its emotional impact.

The book is a personal narrative rather than an in-depth analysis so readers who are already familiar with the history and systemic harms of conversion therapy, or who are looking for a more clinical or research-driven exploration, won’t find that kind of deep dive here. What they will find is a touching memoir that approaches a hard subject matter with honesty and grace - and a picture of how faith can and should coexist with an individual’s true self.

Thank you to NetGalley and Broadleaf for this eARC

[Selena Schulz · Rating 3 out of 5]

“May you run your race with joy, unburdened by shame that was never yours to carry.”

this book was nothing like i expected and a bit hard to follow, but so is life. i can’t deny that compressing a journey this significant into 250ish pages must’ve been an incredibly difficult feat. i also can’t say that i got much clarity from it, although i did feel some comfort. there was a lot of back and forth in these career choices that left me feeling confused about how faith and sexuality really do coexist. it felt like we spent a lot of time dredging through a morally gray zone of priorities. i believe the author that for him, being a gay Christian is possible and freeing, but there weren’t many moments that i saw that as something enticing to embrace. nonetheless, im grateful to have access to this book and additionally grateful that stories of queerness stretching across spaces exist. thank you netgalley!

[Kevin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a personal read for me as I worked with Tim for a few years. We weren't super close, but we were colleagues (he mentions Church Marketing Sucks on page 121—I edited that site for 15 years). I remember some of the coming out drama. That likely colors my reading a bit—I would catch myself trying to read into things or anticipate if he'd mention something I recognized. Overall he doesn't offer a deeply dramatic story of a harrowing conversion therapy experience. Instead it's this quiet, constant slog of struggle, always being pushed down for who he is and yet striving to find his place. That shame is slowly replaced with anger, righteous anger, as he finds his voice. It's an important story to tell and I'm glad Tim shared it, especially as we seem to be in a new era of socially acceptable anti-LGBTQ+ fervor. One more fun connection: I bought Tim's book from another Church Marketing Sucks alum, Kelley Hartnett of Double Dog Bookshop in Wentzville, Missouri.

[Katharine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I always enjoy books about people who journey through changing or deconstructing faith, but hold on to their faith in the end. Whether or not we share any background. As this author and I are close to the same age, it had the added bonus of nostalgia for youth groups of the 90s! In other respects we are very different, but I found value in the idea of living into who we are created to be as whole people. I’m also pondering the idea of holy discontent which he discusses several times, a longing for something to be better. My one critique is that I wish the author had written a little more fully about what kept him in the church, what he found to hold on to. However it’s still a worthwhile memoir if you are interested in creating a more inclusive church.

Thanks to Broadleaf Books and NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review this book.

[Casey Gustafson · Rating 5 out of 5]

All the feels. A must-read at a deeply important moment. Tim’s affecting humor somehow makes this excruciatingly vulnerable story of wanting to be fully seen and accepted by people who instead demanded erasure and silence feel both relatable and surprisingly easy to digest.

Conversion Therapy Dropout is honest, painful, funny, and profoundly human. The kind of book that lingers with you after you put it down. This book will save lives and deserves to be shared widely.

If you’re someone struggling to find belonging in a community that won’t fully accept you, a fellow dropout who lost their faith long ago (like me), or someone who at one point demanded the impossible from others, this book is for you.

[Kelsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Conversion Therapy Dropout by Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez
5/5 stars
I was drawn to the memoir because of the title. We always here about conversion therapy but very few of us actually know what it is like.
The book is beautifully written and heartbreaking. It is hard to hear about the challenges Timothy went through just because he is queer. Believing something is wrong with you for so many years is a torture I cannot imagine.
Even as someone who does not believe in the Christian God, this was a rewarding read of acceptance and love.
Thank you Netgalley for allowing me to be an ARC reader!

[Callan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a great book and well articulates the struggle of many I know who found a place in the church, but discovered a sad, hidden conditionality.

The story flowed well and I was impressed by the conversations and spaces Tim was a part of while coming to terms with being queer. It was incredible to read about how he struggled, coped and processed in challenging environments and I found myself rooting for him as he created so much value in church spaces and doors opened up for him.

The church has much to learn from this story. I pray it brings hope for those in similar spaces, and they discover unconditional love and freedom.

[Cat · Rating 5 out of 5]

Conversion Therapy Dropout is a powerful and deeply personal memoir about faith, identity, and the search for belonging.

Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez shares his experience navigating evangelical megachurch culture and years of conversion therapy with honesty and emotional clarity. What makes the book especially compelling is its focus on rebuilding—finding authenticity, spiritual wholeness, and community beyond shame and silence.

Overall, it is a courageous and thought-provoking memoir that will resonate strongly with readers interested in LGBTQ+ stories, faith journeys, and personal transformation.

[Charles Binion · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a gay man, I can’t imagine the emotional toll of what Tim endured, his experience is heartbreaking. I feel incredibly fortunate to have grown up in a loving and accepting environment, which made this memoir even more impactful and, at times, difficult to read. While I’m not religious, I found it especially compelling (and frustrating) how deeply personal identity becomes something institutions try to control. This book goes beyond a coming-out story - it’s about what happens after: rebuilding, healing, and finding the courage to live openly. I really enjoyed it, even as it made me reflect on how different my own experience could have been.

[KaRon Spriggs-bethea · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is probably by far one of my favorite reads this year! The author did a great job of pulling me into the story and his experiences. This was so relatable as someone who also questioned myself for a long time. I appreciated hearing the struggles that he went through and how he came to writing this book!

I truly recommend this book for anyone!! It is a good reminder that we are all humans and deserve to be loved no matter what.

I received an advanced reader copy from NetGalley and I am leaving this review voluntarily

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for anyone who’s struggled finding acceptance and belonging; especially within the church. Tim’s beautiful memoir of how he found his way back to God‘s love- completely redefined, after years of struggling to be something he was never created to be is a story of love and hope. For anyone who has ever felt the rejection of church or Christ followers - this book shows how you can have both sexuality and spirituality. Humor, genuineness, raw vulnerability, all wrapped up into a story of survival and becoming. You’ll laugh, cry and clap for the bravery the author. Bravo, Tim

[Jim Skypeck · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a gay Christian, I appreciated Tim's story of conversion therapy and its after effects. I am grateful that I never endured that process although I completely relate to the struggles we face reconciling our faith and our sexuality. Unlike Tim, I had honest religious mentors who started me on the way to acceptance of who I was and my relationship with God. I hope more people get a chance to read this book. It's a hard read but well worth it.

[Jake Miaczynski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Monumental. A healing work for those who lived within these systems and a necessary read for those trying to understand and empathize from the outside. I’ll return to it again but with a highlighter for every page and (hopefully) less watery eyes.

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

A heartfelt and emotional journey from start to finish. This book is for anyone who was taught that God is love and took that to heart, even when the church may have been less than loving to them.

[Jason · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredibly compelling and important story for anyone struggling with reconciling who they think they need to be with who they are.

[JXR · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really fun book about learning to become yourself and figuring out yourself. Mr. Rodriguez's story is very interesting and worth a read. 5 stars. tysm for the E-ARC.