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Dad Brain: The New Science of Fatherhood and How It Shapes Men's Lives
A groundbreaking exploration of the science and significance of fatherhood that shows great dads are made, not born
Over the last decade, we’ve learned more about the transformative power of parenthood—biologically, psychologically, and socially—than ever before. But while the experience of motherhood has attracted well-deserved attention, fatherhood has remained overlooked and, often, misunderstood.
Now, in Dad Brain, field-leading psychologist Darby Saxbe, PhD, explains how becoming a father changes men, from their bodies and brain architecture to their hormones and sense of purpose. Inspired by her relationship with her dad, Saxbe has studied fathers and families for over twenty years. In her first book, she takes readers behind the scenes of her new research and around the world, from hunter-gatherers in the Congo to contemporary suburban dads, and into her pioneering studies of how parenthood shapes men’s brains and lives.
Readers may be surprised to learn that, in addition to altering a dad’s hormones and health (yes, men experience postpartum depression, and “dad bod” is real), parenthood can also benefit men. Dads who spend time with their kids sharpen their paternal instincts and even show more youthful brains in later life. Dads’ unique approach to play makes kids more resilient, and fathers bring new insights to workplaces and build better societies. Ultimately, fatherhood can help men discover a richer, more connected, and more meaningful life.
For fans of science-based storytelling that is also irreverent, funny, and personal, Dad Brain offers an illuminating, empowering, and optimistic new understanding of fatherhood that will become a must-read for every parent.
Over the last decade, we’ve learned more about the transformative power of parenthood—biologically, psychologically, and socially—than ever before. But while the experience of motherhood has attracted well-deserved attention, fatherhood has remained overlooked and, often, misunderstood.
Now, in Dad Brain, field-leading psychologist Darby Saxbe, PhD, explains how becoming a father changes men, from their bodies and brain architecture to their hormones and sense of purpose. Inspired by her relationship with her dad, Saxbe has studied fathers and families for over twenty years. In her first book, she takes readers behind the scenes of her new research and around the world, from hunter-gatherers in the Congo to contemporary suburban dads, and into her pioneering studies of how parenthood shapes men’s brains and lives.
Readers may be surprised to learn that, in addition to altering a dad’s hormones and health (yes, men experience postpartum depression, and “dad bod” is real), parenthood can also benefit men. Dads who spend time with their kids sharpen their paternal instincts and even show more youthful brains in later life. Dads’ unique approach to play makes kids more resilient, and fathers bring new insights to workplaces and build better societies. Ultimately, fatherhood can help men discover a richer, more connected, and more meaningful life.
For fans of science-based storytelling that is also irreverent, funny, and personal, Dad Brain offers an illuminating, empowering, and optimistic new understanding of fatherhood that will become a must-read for every parent.
304 pages, Hardcover
Published June 9, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 63 reviews
June 17, 2026
Being a father shrinks your brain, lowers your testosterone levels, promotes weight gain, and increases any marker of biological or psychological stress you care to check.
It is also one of the best and most fulfilling things a man can do for himself and the greater good.
Somehow, this book convinced me of both these things. Maybe I didn't need convincing... I'm a father of young kids myself, and spent half this book making internal shrieks of validation as the author describes the various challenges and tensions of fatherhood that any dad knows all too well. I'm the prime audience for this sort of thing.
Great, transparent, evidence-based discussions of the physical and emotional effects of fatherhood on men, as well as the historical trajectories of expectations of fathers. There is certainly an argument at the core for more direct involvement of fathers in childcare, but it's well-supported, balanced, and takes account of the many situations and contexts that have defined both historical and modern parenthood. It felt direct but not preachy on this point, but if you're looking for a validation of a workaholic, detached, uninvolved style of fatherhood, you won't like what the author has to say.
In the end, it's a great read if 1) you are a father or 2) you know a father. I think that includes most of us.
4.5 / 5
It is also one of the best and most fulfilling things a man can do for himself and the greater good.
Somehow, this book convinced me of both these things. Maybe I didn't need convincing... I'm a father of young kids myself, and spent half this book making internal shrieks of validation as the author describes the various challenges and tensions of fatherhood that any dad knows all too well. I'm the prime audience for this sort of thing.
Great, transparent, evidence-based discussions of the physical and emotional effects of fatherhood on men, as well as the historical trajectories of expectations of fathers. There is certainly an argument at the core for more direct involvement of fathers in childcare, but it's well-supported, balanced, and takes account of the many situations and contexts that have defined both historical and modern parenthood. It felt direct but not preachy on this point, but if you're looking for a validation of a workaholic, detached, uninvolved style of fatherhood, you won't like what the author has to say.
In the end, it's a great read if 1) you are a father or 2) you know a father. I think that includes most of us.
4.5 / 5
June 21, 2026
Great, great stuff. Loved the line about being less concerned with “mothering” and “fathering” but rather focusing on *parenting*.
July 3, 2026
That was really good. A dissertation on Dads 🥲
Read
May 22, 2026Dad Brain by Darby Saxbe is an insightful and engaging nonfiction book that explores how fatherhood changes the male brain emotionally, psychologically, and even biologically. Drawing on neuroscience, psychology, and personal stories, Saxbe challenges outdated stereotypes about parenting and presents a compelling argument that fathers undergo meaningful brain and behavioral changes when they become actively involved caregivers.
One of the book’s greatest strengths is its accessibility. Although the subject matter is rooted in scientific research, Saxbe explains complex concepts in a clear and relatable way. She combines research findings with real-life examples, making the material feel practical and emotionally relevant rather than overly academic. Readers do not need a background in science to understand or appreciate the ideas presented.
The book also stands out for its balanced and modern perspective on fatherhood. Saxbe emphasizes that caregiving is not determined solely by gender but is shaped by involvement, emotional connection, and environment. She discusses how active parenting can influence hormones, stress responses, empathy, and emotional regulation in fathers, highlighting the importance of shared parenting roles within families.
Another strength is the book’s compassionate tone. Rather than criticizing traditional parenting expectations, Saxbe thoughtfully examines how social pressures and cultural norms affect fathers and families. The discussion of mental health, work-life balance, and emotional bonding adds depth to the book and makes it relevant to modern parenting conversations.
At times, the book becomes somewhat repetitive, particularly when revisiting similar research themes throughout different chapters. However, the engaging writing style and meaningful insights help maintain reader interest.
Overall, Dad Brain is an informative and thought-provoking exploration of the science of fatherhood. Darby Saxbe successfully combines research with empathy, offering readers a fresh perspective on parenting, emotional development, and family relationships. The book is highly recommended for parents, healthcare professionals, and anyone interested in psychology, neuroscience, or modern family dynamics.
One of the book’s greatest strengths is its accessibility. Although the subject matter is rooted in scientific research, Saxbe explains complex concepts in a clear and relatable way. She combines research findings with real-life examples, making the material feel practical and emotionally relevant rather than overly academic. Readers do not need a background in science to understand or appreciate the ideas presented.
The book also stands out for its balanced and modern perspective on fatherhood. Saxbe emphasizes that caregiving is not determined solely by gender but is shaped by involvement, emotional connection, and environment. She discusses how active parenting can influence hormones, stress responses, empathy, and emotional regulation in fathers, highlighting the importance of shared parenting roles within families.
Another strength is the book’s compassionate tone. Rather than criticizing traditional parenting expectations, Saxbe thoughtfully examines how social pressures and cultural norms affect fathers and families. The discussion of mental health, work-life balance, and emotional bonding adds depth to the book and makes it relevant to modern parenting conversations.
At times, the book becomes somewhat repetitive, particularly when revisiting similar research themes throughout different chapters. However, the engaging writing style and meaningful insights help maintain reader interest.
Overall, Dad Brain is an informative and thought-provoking exploration of the science of fatherhood. Darby Saxbe successfully combines research with empathy, offering readers a fresh perspective on parenting, emotional development, and family relationships. The book is highly recommended for parents, healthcare professionals, and anyone interested in psychology, neuroscience, or modern family dynamics.
Did Not Finish
June 29, 2026DNF. I find I have no patience for popular science books, which Saxbe describes this one as in the intro.
It started out promising and engaging but after picking it up and putting it down a few times, by page 70 I realized I had zero interest in whatever came next. Which is too bad as this is an interesting topic, but there was too much fluff for me.
It started out promising and engaging but after picking it up and putting it down a few times, by page 70 I realized I had zero interest in whatever came next. Which is too bad as this is an interesting topic, but there was too much fluff for me.
June 21, 2026
3/5 stars
Dad Brain is an interesting and well-researched book, especially for the many studies and scientific details it brings together about fatherhood, caregiving, hormones, bonding, and longevity. I found a lot of the research genuinely fascinating, including the idea that caregiving can come before bonding, the concept of post-traumatic growth, and the distinction between attachment and activation, where fathers often play a key role in encouraging exploration and healthy risk.
That said, the book’s breadth is also part of its limitation. Much of the evidence comes with caveats, conflicting findings, or qualifications, which makes the overall argument feel less forceful than it could have been. Saxbe makes a compelling case that parenting and fatherhood can bring meaning, purpose, and even mental and physical health benefits to men’s lives, but I was surprised by how little attention the book gives to the benefits children, especially boys, receive from having a father in the household.
I also thought the book sometimes treated motherhood as the baseline and fatherhood as the deviation. It seems more interested in how men can be drawn into care work on terms that resemble maternal caregiving, while spending less time on the possibility that care work itself might look different, and still be valuable, when shaped by fathers. The discussion of testosterone and men’s mental health also felt somewhat too cautious in downplaying potential benefits.
Overall, Dad Brain is thoughtful, often interesting, and worth reading, but it would have been stronger with a clearer moral vision of fatherhood and masculinity. Even with those limitations, the book makes it clear that fathering matters.
Dad Brain is an interesting and well-researched book, especially for the many studies and scientific details it brings together about fatherhood, caregiving, hormones, bonding, and longevity. I found a lot of the research genuinely fascinating, including the idea that caregiving can come before bonding, the concept of post-traumatic growth, and the distinction between attachment and activation, where fathers often play a key role in encouraging exploration and healthy risk.
That said, the book’s breadth is also part of its limitation. Much of the evidence comes with caveats, conflicting findings, or qualifications, which makes the overall argument feel less forceful than it could have been. Saxbe makes a compelling case that parenting and fatherhood can bring meaning, purpose, and even mental and physical health benefits to men’s lives, but I was surprised by how little attention the book gives to the benefits children, especially boys, receive from having a father in the household.
I also thought the book sometimes treated motherhood as the baseline and fatherhood as the deviation. It seems more interested in how men can be drawn into care work on terms that resemble maternal caregiving, while spending less time on the possibility that care work itself might look different, and still be valuable, when shaped by fathers. The discussion of testosterone and men’s mental health also felt somewhat too cautious in downplaying potential benefits.
Overall, Dad Brain is thoughtful, often interesting, and worth reading, but it would have been stronger with a clearer moral vision of fatherhood and masculinity. Even with those limitations, the book makes it clear that fathering matters.
August 19, 2026
This book was really interesting. It wasn’t quite what I was expecting as I thought it would be a manual on how to be a good father. While there was a lot of good information on what can make a good father if actually went more into all aspects of fatherhood from a scientific perspective, cultural perspective, and more. It was really interesting and a book I will be recommending to my friends that are fathers.
One other thing: I would often go to my wife with information from this book saying “did you know …” and I would often get a response of “this is not what I expected you to learn from this book” which was very fun for me :)
One other thing: I would often go to my wife with information from this book saying “did you know …” and I would often get a response of “this is not what I expected you to learn from this book” which was very fun for me :)
July 26, 2026
I believe the absent and isolated father is the greatest threat to our current society. This book is well-researched, repetitive, and can help dads feel seen in some areas while highlighting secular fatherhood. The book does provide a few examples of social changes that need to improve but fails to use the research to help individual dads and communities with this problem.
August 19, 2026
Overall, I found this a pretty solid, up-to-date summary of the small, but quickly growing research on how “fatherhood” shapes and is shaped by biological, situational, and cultural factors. For a book called “Dad BRAIN”, I was hoping for a deeper, more involved discussion on the neural modulations. They are in there, in a chapter and here and there, but could have been more extensive for my taste. Still, this was interesting, inspiring, and let’s say reaffirming.
August 7, 2026
Such a great and encouraging book! Dads, your brain is so cool and will help you rise to the challenge of parenting.
July 28, 2026
My knock against this book isn’t that it is shallow, because it definitely isn’t. It is exhaustive and sharp when it comes to the biological and sociological changes that men experience when becoming dads. And some of that scientific theory is absolutely fascinating. But as a new dad, I was really hoping for Saxbe to take that next, more provocative step of identifying what fatherhood can and should be. While the author had no problem getting political when it came to putting down the manosphere for all its toxic representations of masculinity and fatherhood, she then didn’t take the next step of identifying what a positive version of it would be beyond broad characterizations of latte dads, and what I felt was missing was how men could and should navigate this paradigm socially and interpersonally with their partner/family.
I think this is a book that will be credited for encouraging better conversations, even when it doesn’t live up to them.
I think this is a book that will be credited for encouraging better conversations, even when it doesn’t live up to them.
June 23, 2026
Loved it, would read another similar book happily
August 13, 2026
**The Evidence Stops Short**
There is little here that will feel groundbreaking to someone who is already a dad. The brain is plastic. Hormones will mess you up, though not in any linear or intuitive way. The science supplies mechanisms for experiences that fathers already know from the inside.
A more interesting argument emerges underneath the neuroscience. *Dad Brain* becomes an argument about caregiving as a universal human capacity and desire that society has made increasingly gendered. Saxbe's case for de-gendering care reminds me of Ruth Bader Ginsburg pursuing women's equality through cases involving men: make visible how the same system constrains both sexes, then attack the distinction itself. The book is strongest when fatherhood becomes evidence that care was never naturally women's work.
I appreciated this as an overview of the evidence, but it is dispiriting how little evidence there is. I also wanted the book to become more normative about what being a dad should mean. A literature review can tell us that fathers change, that caregiving changes them, and that our institutions lag behind both facts. It cannot tell us what fathers owe their children, partners, or themselves.
There is little here that will feel groundbreaking to someone who is already a dad. The brain is plastic. Hormones will mess you up, though not in any linear or intuitive way. The science supplies mechanisms for experiences that fathers already know from the inside.
A more interesting argument emerges underneath the neuroscience. *Dad Brain* becomes an argument about caregiving as a universal human capacity and desire that society has made increasingly gendered. Saxbe's case for de-gendering care reminds me of Ruth Bader Ginsburg pursuing women's equality through cases involving men: make visible how the same system constrains both sexes, then attack the distinction itself. The book is strongest when fatherhood becomes evidence that care was never naturally women's work.
I appreciated this as an overview of the evidence, but it is dispiriting how little evidence there is. I also wanted the book to become more normative about what being a dad should mean. A literature review can tell us that fathers change, that caregiving changes them, and that our institutions lag behind both facts. It cannot tell us what fathers owe their children, partners, or themselves.
July 15, 2026
A wonderfully insightful and entertaining book. Whether you are a father, about to be a father, considering becoming a father, or just someone who has had a father, this book provides research about the various ways fathers experience parenthood emotionally and mentally. While steeped in empirical research it is presented in ways that are accessible to all, often accompanied by the author's own life experiences or readily familiar popular culture references. It raises important questions around how men lack support in some key areas, and why reimagining the role of fathers socially and politically can go far in improving the life of children and our society as a whole. Highly recommend.
June 26, 2026
Cool book, I learned a lot about how being a dad can change your brain, body, and place in society. A ton of great science and research to back it all up. Awesome book for any dad who wants a unique science based perspective. Also learned about papadag - which is a largely socially acceptable practice in the Netherlands where dads take one day off per week (4 day work week) to spend with their children. American society does a good job at encouraging women to be amazing and involved mothers, but discourages men from doing the same. I’m not afraid to be a loving and involved father, but other places in the world do it much better than us. Everyone benefits from good dads.
August 3, 2026
As a dad I have read many books on fatherhood but mostly within a Christian lense, so I wanted to see what a secular book might say about fatherhood.
I appreciated the research that went into this book even if some of it seemed superfluous (especially in the early chapters). When it gets to the point - thoughts on the biology, hormones, and overall neuroscience of fathers - it is fascinating.
Still, I found it strange that in this book about fathers, it feels like the attitude is that fatherhood is a bonus trait we have evolved into, instead of something essential to the health of children and society as a whole.
I still appreciated the read and the clear stance that fatherhood is important. Even if that stance is more flimsy without a real moral framework to lean on.
I appreciated the research that went into this book even if some of it seemed superfluous (especially in the early chapters). When it gets to the point - thoughts on the biology, hormones, and overall neuroscience of fathers - it is fascinating.
Still, I found it strange that in this book about fathers, it feels like the attitude is that fatherhood is a bonus trait we have evolved into, instead of something essential to the health of children and society as a whole.
I still appreciated the read and the clear stance that fatherhood is important. Even if that stance is more flimsy without a real moral framework to lean on.
July 23, 2026
The research behind what happens to dad’s brains (of course) when men become fathers and the social, emotional results. I was interested as a stay at home dad but this book makes a compelling case for the importance of father and fatherhood for the good of their kids, partners, community and beyond.
August 3, 2026
Darby Saxbe's Dad Brain is a refreshing, evidence-based celebration of fatherhood that challenges the tired stereotype of the emotionally distant or biologically irrelevant father. Drawing on neuroscience, psychology and developmental research, Saxbe demonstrates that becoming a father changes men's brains in meaningful ways, increasing empathy, attentiveness, emotional connection and responsiveness to their children.
One of the book's greatest strengths is its optimistic message: fatherhood isn't simply a responsibility, but it's an awesome opportunity for profound personal growth. Fathers are shaped by their children just as surely as children are shaped by their fathers. The science shows that involved dads benefit cognitively, emotionally and physically, while children flourish when they enjoy warm, engaged relationships with both parents...
Saxbe also reminds us that strong families matter. The evidence consistently shows that children benefit from being raised by their biological mother and biological father in a stable, loving home. Rather than diminishing mothers, Dad Brain highlights the complementary strengths that fathers bring alongside them, encouraging parents to work together as partners in raising the next generation.
The book combines accessible storytelling with rigorous research, making it engaging for new fathers, experienced dads, mothers, practitioners and policymakers alike. It offers reassurance to men who wonder whether they are making a difference, while inspiring them to embrace the unique gifts of fatherhood with confidence and purpose...
Dad Brain is an uplifting, compassionate and scientifically grounded tribute to fathers. It deserves a wide readership and stands as a powerful reminder that investing in fathers is one of the best investments we can make in children, families and society.
One of the book's greatest strengths is its optimistic message: fatherhood isn't simply a responsibility, but it's an awesome opportunity for profound personal growth. Fathers are shaped by their children just as surely as children are shaped by their fathers. The science shows that involved dads benefit cognitively, emotionally and physically, while children flourish when they enjoy warm, engaged relationships with both parents...
Saxbe also reminds us that strong families matter. The evidence consistently shows that children benefit from being raised by their biological mother and biological father in a stable, loving home. Rather than diminishing mothers, Dad Brain highlights the complementary strengths that fathers bring alongside them, encouraging parents to work together as partners in raising the next generation.
The book combines accessible storytelling with rigorous research, making it engaging for new fathers, experienced dads, mothers, practitioners and policymakers alike. It offers reassurance to men who wonder whether they are making a difference, while inspiring them to embrace the unique gifts of fatherhood with confidence and purpose...
Dad Brain is an uplifting, compassionate and scientifically grounded tribute to fathers. It deserves a wide readership and stands as a powerful reminder that investing in fathers is one of the best investments we can make in children, families and society.
August 8, 2026
A fantastic look at the “many ways in which fatherhood changes men, from their brains to their hormones, their health to their relationships.”
August 12, 2026
Listened to this one on audio book which I never do. Really enjoyed it and reminded me just how important I am as a father to my son
Did Not Finish
August 17, 2026Interesting research but too much science for my taste. Stopped about 40% of the way through or so.
August 19, 2026
This is a great book that explains how becoming father changes men from their bodies and brain architecture to their hormones and sense of purpose.
July 31, 2026
Finished it right before I become a dad!
August 10, 2026
Dad Brain explores the inner workings of what happens in a man’s body and brain chemistry when they become fathers. It’s a great mix of scientific research, pop culture references and humanizing personal anecdotes.
July 1, 2026
Dad Brain: The New Science of Fatherhood and How It Shapes Men's Lives is a fascinating, compassionate, and deeply insightful exploration of one of the most overlooked transformations in human life. Drawing on decades of research, Darby Saxbe challenges outdated assumptions about fatherhood and presents compelling scientific evidence that becoming a father profoundly reshapes men biologically, psychologically, and emotionally.
One of the book's greatest strengths is its ability to make complex neuroscience and psychology both engaging and highly accessible. Saxbe seamlessly blends cutting-edge research with personal stories, humor, and real-world examples, creating a reading experience that is as entertaining as it is informative. The science never feels intimidating; instead, it provides readers with a richer appreciation for the remarkable ways parenthood influences the human brain.
The book offers a refreshing perspective by demonstrating that fathers are not simply secondary caregivers but active participants whose brains, hormones, and identities evolve through parenting. Particularly enlightening are the discussions surrounding paternal hormonal changes, postpartum depression in fathers, and the growing body of evidence showing how engaged fatherhood benefits not only children but fathers themselves.
I especially appreciated the book's optimistic message. Rather than focusing solely on the challenges of parenting, Saxbe highlights the profound personal growth that fatherhood can inspire. From strengthening emotional intelligence and relationships to promoting lifelong cognitive health and a greater sense of purpose, the book reveals fatherhood as a transformative life experience with benefits extending far beyond the family.
Equally compelling is the global perspective. By examining fatherhood across different cultures and societies, Saxbe demonstrates that while parenting practices may vary, the deep biological and emotional significance of fatherhood is universal.
Dad Brain is an essential read for fathers, expectant parents, healthcare professionals, psychologists, educators, and anyone interested in human development. Thought-provoking, empowering, and thoroughly engaging, it reshapes our understanding of what it truly means to become a father.
One of the book's greatest strengths is its ability to make complex neuroscience and psychology both engaging and highly accessible. Saxbe seamlessly blends cutting-edge research with personal stories, humor, and real-world examples, creating a reading experience that is as entertaining as it is informative. The science never feels intimidating; instead, it provides readers with a richer appreciation for the remarkable ways parenthood influences the human brain.
The book offers a refreshing perspective by demonstrating that fathers are not simply secondary caregivers but active participants whose brains, hormones, and identities evolve through parenting. Particularly enlightening are the discussions surrounding paternal hormonal changes, postpartum depression in fathers, and the growing body of evidence showing how engaged fatherhood benefits not only children but fathers themselves.
I especially appreciated the book's optimistic message. Rather than focusing solely on the challenges of parenting, Saxbe highlights the profound personal growth that fatherhood can inspire. From strengthening emotional intelligence and relationships to promoting lifelong cognitive health and a greater sense of purpose, the book reveals fatherhood as a transformative life experience with benefits extending far beyond the family.
Equally compelling is the global perspective. By examining fatherhood across different cultures and societies, Saxbe demonstrates that while parenting practices may vary, the deep biological and emotional significance of fatherhood is universal.
Dad Brain is an essential read for fathers, expectant parents, healthcare professionals, psychologists, educators, and anyone interested in human development. Thought-provoking, empowering, and thoroughly engaging, it reshapes our understanding of what it truly means to become a father.
July 13, 2026
This was a very good read, incredibly informative. I found out about the book via a podcast interview with the author. I loved the discussion and wanted to follow up with the full book. It’s a great and well researched topic on how parenthood affects and changes dads as much as it does moms. Truly fascinating on many fronts and highly recommend.
June 23, 2026
5⭐️
Dad Brain is exactly the kind of parenting science book I love.
Written by a researcher studying how fatherhood changes the brain, this book explores the emerging science of what happens neurologically and psychologically as men become parents. It feels both accessible and genuinely interesting.
What I appreciated most is that the author is clearly excited about the research while also being appropriately cautious about its limitations. She is transparent about what we know, what we don’t know, and where findings are still evolving—a much-needed approach in a world full of overstated health claims and clickbait science.
I especially enjoyed learning about the research showing that fathers also experience measurable brain changes during the transition to parenthood. One of the book’s central themes is the idea of facultative fatherhood—that the dad brain and body adapt through caregiving itself. Parent brains are shaped by parenting experience, and I found that both scientifically fascinating and deeply validating.
As someone who works with parents, I found this book thoughtful, accessible, and full of information I’ll absolutely be sharing with clients. It felt like an important addition to the conversation about parenthood and a welcome reminder (with research to back it up) that becoming a parent changes dads, too.
If you enjoy books that blend neuroscience, psychology, parenting, culture, anthropology, and emerging research, I highly recommend this one.
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the advance copy in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
Dad Brain is exactly the kind of parenting science book I love.
Written by a researcher studying how fatherhood changes the brain, this book explores the emerging science of what happens neurologically and psychologically as men become parents. It feels both accessible and genuinely interesting.
What I appreciated most is that the author is clearly excited about the research while also being appropriately cautious about its limitations. She is transparent about what we know, what we don’t know, and where findings are still evolving—a much-needed approach in a world full of overstated health claims and clickbait science.
I especially enjoyed learning about the research showing that fathers also experience measurable brain changes during the transition to parenthood. One of the book’s central themes is the idea of facultative fatherhood—that the dad brain and body adapt through caregiving itself. Parent brains are shaped by parenting experience, and I found that both scientifically fascinating and deeply validating.
As someone who works with parents, I found this book thoughtful, accessible, and full of information I’ll absolutely be sharing with clients. It felt like an important addition to the conversation about parenthood and a welcome reminder (with research to back it up) that becoming a parent changes dads, too.
If you enjoy books that blend neuroscience, psychology, parenting, culture, anthropology, and emerging research, I highly recommend this one.
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the advance copy in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
Review of advance copy received from Author
Dad Brain by Darby Saxbe argues that fathers are biologically equipped for nurturing children, albeit in some ways that are modestly different than mothers. She bases this claim on a broad reading of the evolutionary literature and then her own field's research, which uses brain imaging approaches on parents while tracking other behavioral outcomes. Based on this science, she thinks our parenting paradigm would benefit from getting more from fathers, which could be achieved if social attitudes concerning the status and value of care work changed. I think the biological and social capacity of men to be loving and competent parents is well argued, but it is not persuasively connected to professor Saxbe's normative vision, specifically the notion about the status of care work. What exactly will turning up male nurturing do for us? It isn't really specified other than to imply that material equality between the sexes is good, despite biology being an enormous hurdle. This portion of professor Saxbe's vision appears to do a hop-skip-and-a-jump over the whole reason why men and women are different and why it has been such a boon to divide labor roles in the first place. One of the reasons we live in such a prosperous and abundant time is that we've embraced specialization. Parenting our children is an eminently substitutable and not particularly high-skill activity that we embrace as an inefficient luxury because we love and cherish our children. This shows up in the data showing that marriage, having children, and heavily parenting them is increasingly practiced by the upper-middle class and wealthy. It is also hard to understand what exactly can be done to expand nurturing opportunities for men when men and women without college degrees seem unable to find consistent paths to marriage especially at a young enough age. It also seems to overlook how much our liberal society has already transformed to embrace non-traditional models of parenthood and male roles. All this change doesn't seem to have come at a benefit to marriage rates or boost the number of children being born. It seems the more parsimonious model may be that modern conditions are mismatched with evolved preferences concerning family formation and that these conditions are not related to the status of care work or the willingness of men to be involved parents.
Check out my conversation with the author
Now, I don't want to sell the argument short. Dr. Saxbe does present some reasons to believe that social conditions, namely the technological basis of an economy, influences the division of labor between the sexes and that for most of recorded human history (and probably Mammalian history too) resulted in males protecting and provisioning of female partners focused on nurture offspring. Despite this general trend, there is still a facultative substrate for paternal care that can be elicit by prolonged proximity to women and children and that our modern economy and social environment afford this. The decline in the wage premium associated with physical strength and the liberalization of female economic and political rights. Subsequently, men can now reorient to domestic duties and nurturing children.
Unfortunately, I fear this narrative, while true in some ways, looks pasts some thorny biological and social realities. First, economic research studies have increasingly made clear that pregnancy and parenting reduce the economic output of women. The nail-in-the-coffin of the gender wage gap argument has been the finding that women who cannot get pregnant are not subject to a reduction in earnings. Second, the phenomenon of greater male variability means that there will be an elite segment of men committed to economic output in ways that simply won't be observed at a comparable rate among women. It makes sense for society to leverage this reality and optimize what these men can do for society at large. Further, the performance of these men will always set a standard for the rest of men, and thus, it should be expected that most men will derive their own sense of self worth from their ability to function similarly and, in no small way, women will judge the desirability of men on this or related dimension. There is simply no change in social attitudes that will utterly erase this social mechanism.
Given these combined biological and social constraints, it is still unclear what benefit would be reaped by men signaling and demonstrating their willingness and ability to care for and nurture children more than they are already. it is true that among a set of men of similar social status that their willingness and ability to nurture may make them a more desirable mate, but treating this reality as a generalized finding about what women want in a partner would be falling for a Berkson's paradox. especially if one believes that care work is culturally coded as low status. Further, I would have liked to see Professor Saxbe explore more directly that male social performance is in serious trouble among non-college educated men. What is to be done with the men that have no path to status? They largely cannot access HEAL profession without college degrees. There is no viable path toward boosting college enrollment, especially if the degree itself is just a proxy for another phenomenon, which it is.... There are a lot of oblique references to male social dysfunction, including name-checking Richard Reeves' initiatives, the Incel phenomenon, and Andrew Tate, but this is skimming the surface of a process that is many decades in the making and a political approach that's often been openly hostile to men of lower social status with impunity. Well, unless we count the elections of Donald Trump as acts of revenge, which some pundits have been inclined to do....
I (along with others like Lyman Stone) have had periodic online conversations/debates with Dr. Saxbe about some of these issues, raising these challenges. Nevertheless, Professor Saxbe holds to the idea that if men presented themselves as better caregivers and if care was celebrated by society (not sure what this looks like though), then women would flock to these men and have more kids. Dr. Saxbe is fond of citing South Korea as an example of a place where men send precisely the wrong signals about caregiving and this cashes out as low total fertility, but this example looks like cherry-picking. Total fertility in East Asia is just globally low. Other East Asian countries that have relatively more liberal gender attitudes like Taiwan and Singapore still have very lower total fertility, and the gender disparity in domestic work within East Asian doesn't predict fertility either. Arguably, there is an inverse correlation using TFR and OECD Time Use data, where N. Korea, Japan, and China have relatively higher fertility while women doing much much more domestic work than men than Singapore, Taiwan, and South Korea .
So why aren't women flocking to dad material men then? Why can college educated and affluent men access marriage and fatherhood consistently in a way apparently unrelated from their interest in care work? Why do conservatives and religious people tend to have more children than those with more liberal views of gender? These questions will remain for those who pick up this book, though it is perhaps not why one would pick up this book. Despite the omission, there is still useful lessons to pick up from those with feminist or leftist political commitments who are also committed to empiricism and are serious about maintaining a successful society and peaceful, prosperous world.
Professionr Saxbe's vision largely borrows the common line from those commenting on these issues from feminist perspective for awhile. It is understandable challenging for women to carry essentially two full time jobs, one in economy at-large and then one in the home, though this challenge is unique to the dual-income households or for single mothers which are a somewhat recent phenomenon and, in part, a goal of movement feminism. Dr. Saxbe, though, brings something more than just this familiar arguments as she feels the needs to respond to the clearly enumerated evolved biology of humans and its implication for relations between the sexes and having children, which have become increasingly salient in public discourse. To some extent, there is a stinging irony to the persistence of these concerns given that there have arguably been enormous feminist victories with respect to the issues of female social status and economic freedom and paternal contributions to childcare and domestic work. The typical level of involvement by fathers from the Millennial generation, primarily in wealthy, Western nations, has risen substantially compared to the recent past and possibly most of human history and pre-history. However, the rise of super-dads has corresponded with a decline in the marriage rate and total fertility, which Dr. Saxbe recognizes as not particularly salutary trends. This potential paradox doesn't demand much attention in Dr. Saxbe's book, but it is something her public commentary is attuned to. It isn't really a mystery if we look closely at what drives fewer marriages and children today. There are many causes of complex phenomena like this, but, to boil it down, we have an evolutionary mismatch that cultural evolution or political tinkering has not got around to solving: Liberated evolved female mate preferences paired with the decline in male social status relative to female social status along with contraceptive technology ubiquity and the decline in peer-to-peer social interaction due to changes in media technology and the economy have disrupt our marriage market and fertility outcomes,
I learned some things from this book, and Dr. Saxbe was careful about her claims. She was also willing to be serious about biology, which is sometimes as struggle for those on the political left, even scientists. Moreover, this is part of a growing, important, and urgent segment of public discourse. It's a book that is in conversation with a growing chorus from scientists, cultural critics, technocrats, and scientific communicators who hope science and culture can redress some challenges and complaints about modern parenting, fertility, and gender relations, including Emily Oster, Sarah Hrdy, Elena Bridgers, Alice Evans, Stephanie Murray, Lyman Stone, Richard Reeves, and many more. It is moving in the right direction, and I hope many take the time to read and engage!
*I have a longer and non-overlapping review of Dad Brain at Substack
**Disclaimer: I would like to thank Darby Saxbe for a galley copy of the work.
Check out my conversation with the author
Now, I don't want to sell the argument short. Dr. Saxbe does present some reasons to believe that social conditions, namely the technological basis of an economy, influences the division of labor between the sexes and that for most of recorded human history (and probably Mammalian history too) resulted in males protecting and provisioning of female partners focused on nurture offspring. Despite this general trend, there is still a facultative substrate for paternal care that can be elicit by prolonged proximity to women and children and that our modern economy and social environment afford this. The decline in the wage premium associated with physical strength and the liberalization of female economic and political rights. Subsequently, men can now reorient to domestic duties and nurturing children.
Unfortunately, I fear this narrative, while true in some ways, looks pasts some thorny biological and social realities. First, economic research studies have increasingly made clear that pregnancy and parenting reduce the economic output of women. The nail-in-the-coffin of the gender wage gap argument has been the finding that women who cannot get pregnant are not subject to a reduction in earnings. Second, the phenomenon of greater male variability means that there will be an elite segment of men committed to economic output in ways that simply won't be observed at a comparable rate among women. It makes sense for society to leverage this reality and optimize what these men can do for society at large. Further, the performance of these men will always set a standard for the rest of men, and thus, it should be expected that most men will derive their own sense of self worth from their ability to function similarly and, in no small way, women will judge the desirability of men on this or related dimension. There is simply no change in social attitudes that will utterly erase this social mechanism.
Given these combined biological and social constraints, it is still unclear what benefit would be reaped by men signaling and demonstrating their willingness and ability to care for and nurture children more than they are already. it is true that among a set of men of similar social status that their willingness and ability to nurture may make them a more desirable mate, but treating this reality as a generalized finding about what women want in a partner would be falling for a Berkson's paradox. especially if one believes that care work is culturally coded as low status. Further, I would have liked to see Professor Saxbe explore more directly that male social performance is in serious trouble among non-college educated men. What is to be done with the men that have no path to status? They largely cannot access HEAL profession without college degrees. There is no viable path toward boosting college enrollment, especially if the degree itself is just a proxy for another phenomenon, which it is.... There are a lot of oblique references to male social dysfunction, including name-checking Richard Reeves' initiatives, the Incel phenomenon, and Andrew Tate, but this is skimming the surface of a process that is many decades in the making and a political approach that's often been openly hostile to men of lower social status with impunity. Well, unless we count the elections of Donald Trump as acts of revenge, which some pundits have been inclined to do....
I (along with others like Lyman Stone) have had periodic online conversations/debates with Dr. Saxbe about some of these issues, raising these challenges. Nevertheless, Professor Saxbe holds to the idea that if men presented themselves as better caregivers and if care was celebrated by society (not sure what this looks like though), then women would flock to these men and have more kids. Dr. Saxbe is fond of citing South Korea as an example of a place where men send precisely the wrong signals about caregiving and this cashes out as low total fertility, but this example looks like cherry-picking. Total fertility in East Asia is just globally low. Other East Asian countries that have relatively more liberal gender attitudes like Taiwan and Singapore still have very lower total fertility, and the gender disparity in domestic work within East Asian doesn't predict fertility either. Arguably, there is an inverse correlation using TFR and OECD Time Use data, where N. Korea, Japan, and China have relatively higher fertility while women doing much much more domestic work than men than Singapore, Taiwan, and South Korea .
So why aren't women flocking to dad material men then? Why can college educated and affluent men access marriage and fatherhood consistently in a way apparently unrelated from their interest in care work? Why do conservatives and religious people tend to have more children than those with more liberal views of gender? These questions will remain for those who pick up this book, though it is perhaps not why one would pick up this book. Despite the omission, there is still useful lessons to pick up from those with feminist or leftist political commitments who are also committed to empiricism and are serious about maintaining a successful society and peaceful, prosperous world.
Professionr Saxbe's vision largely borrows the common line from those commenting on these issues from feminist perspective for awhile. It is understandable challenging for women to carry essentially two full time jobs, one in economy at-large and then one in the home, though this challenge is unique to the dual-income households or for single mothers which are a somewhat recent phenomenon and, in part, a goal of movement feminism. Dr. Saxbe, though, brings something more than just this familiar arguments as she feels the needs to respond to the clearly enumerated evolved biology of humans and its implication for relations between the sexes and having children, which have become increasingly salient in public discourse. To some extent, there is a stinging irony to the persistence of these concerns given that there have arguably been enormous feminist victories with respect to the issues of female social status and economic freedom and paternal contributions to childcare and domestic work. The typical level of involvement by fathers from the Millennial generation, primarily in wealthy, Western nations, has risen substantially compared to the recent past and possibly most of human history and pre-history. However, the rise of super-dads has corresponded with a decline in the marriage rate and total fertility, which Dr. Saxbe recognizes as not particularly salutary trends. This potential paradox doesn't demand much attention in Dr. Saxbe's book, but it is something her public commentary is attuned to. It isn't really a mystery if we look closely at what drives fewer marriages and children today. There are many causes of complex phenomena like this, but, to boil it down, we have an evolutionary mismatch that cultural evolution or political tinkering has not got around to solving: Liberated evolved female mate preferences paired with the decline in male social status relative to female social status along with contraceptive technology ubiquity and the decline in peer-to-peer social interaction due to changes in media technology and the economy have disrupt our marriage market and fertility outcomes,
I learned some things from this book, and Dr. Saxbe was careful about her claims. She was also willing to be serious about biology, which is sometimes as struggle for those on the political left, even scientists. Moreover, this is part of a growing, important, and urgent segment of public discourse. It's a book that is in conversation with a growing chorus from scientists, cultural critics, technocrats, and scientific communicators who hope science and culture can redress some challenges and complaints about modern parenting, fertility, and gender relations, including Emily Oster, Sarah Hrdy, Elena Bridgers, Alice Evans, Stephanie Murray, Lyman Stone, Richard Reeves, and many more. It is moving in the right direction, and I hope many take the time to read and engage!
*I have a longer and non-overlapping review of Dad Brain at Substack
**Disclaimer: I would like to thank Darby Saxbe for a galley copy of the work.
June 1, 2026
Thank you to @netgalley and @macmillan.audio for the ALC of this book. As a father of three daughters it was very interesting to hear some of the science behind going into fatherhood. You see so many books for mothers (which makes sense) but it is nice to hear something for the fathers. I wish this was around when I was younger to explain a lot of things that change in your life as you have a kid. Very educational and Interesting!!
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
My wife and I raised four great kids, the youngest of which is now in her 20s. Being a father is the greatest thing I've done, and I value my family over everything else. But recently attending a high school reunion and some other things had caused me to reflect on ways I had changed. For instance, as I kid I loved things like card and board games. But now, the idea of winning a game against my children (or pretty much anyone), holds no appeal for me. Where did that competitive teenager I used to be go?
So that's kind of what was on my mind when I picked up this book. It's part "What to expect when your wife is expecting" and part social data on the role of fathers in society. There is a lot of good information about the ways fatherhood affects men – everything from the actual chemical and hormonal changes to health and relationships. Saxbe cites studies that show fathers experience much of the same kinds of stress and depression mothers face. Our brains change physically as well as our bodies – think of "dad bod." But our behaviors change as well – I noticed I started driving the little red sports car I used to have a bit slower and more carefully when I knew I had a family that depended on me.
"We know that when children have involved fathers, they show better mental health, social skills, and school performance. Teens who live with their fathers are more likely to finish high school, less likely to use drugs and alcohol, more likely to be stably employed as adults, and less likely to become incarcerated later in life. These trends hold true even when we adjust for family income. Having an involved father offers kids a leg up in life."
I think this is a very important book, but for me, much of it kind of fell flat. I guess I'm far enough beyond a lot of these things that it didn't feel as relevant as it might have 20 years ago and I ended up skimming a lot of it. But what I did appreciate was the social impact of fathers. The media too often portrays fathers as the butt of the joke – lovable but foolish and childish. Think of Homer Simpson, or even Cliff Huxtable on "The Cosby Show" or Tim Allen on "Home Improvement." (I loved those shows, but maybe they contributed in some ways to the way we see dads.) We see a LOT of problems in society today that can in some ways be traced to the devaluation of fathers. And for me the best part of the book was when it discussed all the benefits we gain as being involved and caring dads.
"If we rebuilt our society from the ground up with human capital in mind – the welfare of tomorrow's leaders as our number-one goal – what would our priorities be? What messages would we send to young men?"
So that's kind of what was on my mind when I picked up this book. It's part "What to expect when your wife is expecting" and part social data on the role of fathers in society. There is a lot of good information about the ways fatherhood affects men – everything from the actual chemical and hormonal changes to health and relationships. Saxbe cites studies that show fathers experience much of the same kinds of stress and depression mothers face. Our brains change physically as well as our bodies – think of "dad bod." But our behaviors change as well – I noticed I started driving the little red sports car I used to have a bit slower and more carefully when I knew I had a family that depended on me.
"We know that when children have involved fathers, they show better mental health, social skills, and school performance. Teens who live with their fathers are more likely to finish high school, less likely to use drugs and alcohol, more likely to be stably employed as adults, and less likely to become incarcerated later in life. These trends hold true even when we adjust for family income. Having an involved father offers kids a leg up in life."
I think this is a very important book, but for me, much of it kind of fell flat. I guess I'm far enough beyond a lot of these things that it didn't feel as relevant as it might have 20 years ago and I ended up skimming a lot of it. But what I did appreciate was the social impact of fathers. The media too often portrays fathers as the butt of the joke – lovable but foolish and childish. Think of Homer Simpson, or even Cliff Huxtable on "The Cosby Show" or Tim Allen on "Home Improvement." (I loved those shows, but maybe they contributed in some ways to the way we see dads.) We see a LOT of problems in society today that can in some ways be traced to the devaluation of fathers. And for me the best part of the book was when it discussed all the benefits we gain as being involved and caring dads.
"If we rebuilt our society from the ground up with human capital in mind – the welfare of tomorrow's leaders as our number-one goal – what would our priorities be? What messages would we send to young men?"
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