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Innocence

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At eighteen Christopher is restless and longs for something he cannot name. His mother vanished when he was very small and after spending more than ten years travelling on the rivers and canals, drifting between towns and schools, with mostly only his dad and brother, Jay, for company, he is desperate to escape that claustrophobic existence.
When they return to settle in Arlow, a town they haven’t been back to in over a decade, everything changes.

Malachi has given up on love. He lost his heart when he lost his innocence. Now at twenty nine he just exists--getting drunk, fixing cars and playing the music he loves.

When their paths cross one night at a gypsy camp, Christopher thinks he's found what he's been looking for, but Malachi is afraid. He is afraid their love will destroy everything Christopher has ever known. They are both ghosts from one another's past, and if Malachi's secrets are revealed more than just innocence will be lost in their wake.

214 pages, Paperback

First published March 2, 2015

11 people are currently reading
741 people want to read

About the author

Suki Fleet

33 books681 followers
About the author:
Suki Fleet is an award winning author, a prolific Reader (though less prolific than they'd like), and a lover of angst, romance and unexpected love stories.
They write lyrical stories about memorable characters and believe everyone should have a chance at a happy ending.
Their first novel This is Not a Love Story won Best Gay Debut in the 2014 Rainbow Awards, and was a finalist in the 2015 Lambda Awards. Their novel Foxes won Best Gay Young Adult in the 2016 Rainbow Awards.

If you’d like to offer your support and buy Suki Fleet a coffee you can do that here: https://ko-fi.com/sukifleet

If you would like info on upcoming releases and the occasional free story, please sign up to Suki’s newsletter: https://sukifleet.wordpress.com/newsl...

If you’re interested in reading first drafts of Suki’s new stories, or reading stories that are no longer available or cuts that can’t be published on Amazon, and other extras, please consider signing up to Suki’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/sukifleet

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Profile Image for Suki Fleet.
Author 33 books681 followers
Read
October 22, 2020
Update 22/10/2020 Innocence is on sale for 0.99 on Amazon for the next couple of days^^

****
Update 28/09/2019
The original version of Innocence is now available on Patreon 'https://www.patreon.com/sukifleet' (in a 'pay what you want' to read kind of deal) . Certain themes means the original is not publishable on Amazon, but I wanted to give readers the chance to read if they wish :) If you want warnings first, email me (sukifleet@gmail.com) x


A/N
When I originally wrote this story a few chapters began with the lyrics of a song (just a single line;P). Changes to copyright law meant I couldn't include them.

Still, the lyrics of one song keep ringing out in my head, and even though this story was written long before that song was ever played on the radio and no chapter ever bore its name, it's startlingly apt. I'd love to have song lyrics as a dedication, and if I could they would be these:

'There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin'

Hozier-Take Me to Church

I hope you enjoy the story :)
Profile Image for Sheziss.
1,367 reviews487 followers
July 6, 2015
This book is so precious.



This book is my precious.



There is something about this author I can’t explain. It just reaches the core of my being. She is one of those mythological creatures that just happens to write books. And I just happen to read them. Nothing predestined about it. Or maybe there is.



There are times I just don’t know what to say. I’m the kind of person who talks and talks because uncomfortable silences are too much for me. I always feel the pressure to say something because otherwise the moment becomes violent. But good comfortable silences, those are hard to find. And when there are lots of comfortable silences in a book, there is something outstanding about it. I don’t mean by it that the whole story runs smoothly, just the opposite. Christopher sees Malachi for the first time and he knows it. And the best part, he knows Malachi knows it, too. Christopher feels exposed as an open book but as the most stupid mosquito in the pack, he follows his light even though he fears to die. And I wanted to follow that flame, too. It was hypnotic.



There is so much unsaid between them but at the same time the words could have come amiss. The author knows how to give that brushstroke that really convinces you that that is real love. There are so many moments in which they could have said something but at the same time the non-verbal language was the important part, so I focused so hard on such acts that I became obsessed with every little touch and caress. The author gives so little you only want more and you are never satisfied.



Innocence is kept at bay till one person worships, steals or spoils it. Unfortunately, the right person here doesn’t act fast for either of them. Christopher falls into a self-destruction spiral and Malachi fell a long time ago. Each one of them is a tortured soul who have found exactly what can save them from utter ruin but can’t face it because they don’t feel worthy of the other one. For different reasons. But deep inside, they were innocent once. And even though their hearts have been stepped on, there is still that unique part in them that remains untouched. And that’s what gave me hope.



The story begins in a houseboat and somehow that made me fear. I once visited the Chaleroi Cannal and the Canal du Centre elevators in the Valonia part of Belgium. I don’t know why but I felt so small I was scared. Just the thought of living on a boat and moving the whole time filled me up with a dizzy feeling I didn’t want to swell on. Uncertainty kills me and I’ve always needed limits. Roaming around is not my definition of something stable. Maybe it was that particular meaning a boat holds for me, maybe it was just the sadness that wraps everything like a thick fog, but it touched me deeply. Said boathouse docks at a town which feels as grey and faded as their characters. Suitable enough. A new life although each day felt like a new death.



If you flick through the pages you realize the text is barely there. We are in Christopher’s head the whole time, wandering with him in his rootless existence. Being swept along and passing through life instead of participating in it, you always feel there is not much of a future for him. That he has just given up before ever beginning. That the only person maintaining him above water is his brother Jay. Jay, the person he depends on to go on. At first you think Jay is the one who needs Christopher but in fact Christopher is the one who desperately needs something real to hold on.



It’s undeniable the environment is cold and depressing, in an almost surreal kind of way. It felt like a dream. Everything was a series of unfortunate events without the happy ending at sight. I felt I was drowning more and more with each passing page. Everybody has a past but nobody really cares. I felt it was a fight for survival. The survival of a little of hope, which seemed terribly lacking in their stories. But that didn’t stop me from reading the book. I just needed more. It was a toxic relationship. This is the same feeling This is Not a Love Story awoke in me. It also has some reminiscences from Garrett Leigh and her Heart.



I can't say why but at first I just assimilated we were in the States. Maybe because the environment reminded my of the movie Mud, so it struck as a big surprise when I found out they used pounds instead of dollars. However, it's a good point this story could have been developed anywhere. Universal love stories are like that. Maybe they are not set in pretty places but maybe that's only enhances a beautiful love, like spots of white on a black background.



The weak part is the ending, I didn’t understand it. They have to make ends meet somehow and I understood Malachi could have been a good but I don’t get how Christopher could have been one. However, I think a simple existence together (as or not) would have been more suitable and even more beautiful. would have given the cozy and intimate ending they deserve. Far from the madding crowd.



*****



Off-topic: With this book I felt like singing The Origin of Love forever. I believed in that myth as long as I read the book:

Last time I saw you
We had just split in two.
You were looking at me.
I was looking at you.
You had a way so familiar,
But I could not recognize,
Cause you had blood on your face;
I had blood in my eyes.
But I could swear by your expression
That the pain down in your soul
Was the same as the one down in mine.

That's the pain,
Cuts a straight line
Down through the heart;
We called it love.
So we wrapped our arms around each other,
Trying to shove ourselves back together.
We were making love,
Making love.

It was a cold dark evening,
Such a long time ago,
When by the mighty hand of Jove,
It was the sad story
How we became
Lonely two-legged creatures,
It's the story of
The origin of love.
That's the origin of love.




My opinion? Read this book. Read this author.
Profile Image for ☆ Todd.
1,442 reviews1,587 followers
July 4, 2021

I'm having slightly mixed feelings about this read. The book was beautifully written. The words were both powerful and touching. The first chapter was very engaging and made me sit up straighter as I proceeded with my reading.

"But..."

As the chapters progressed, the beautiful words continued on, just as they had before; however, the sheer volume of them became distracting.

I was literally reading and reading and reading and reading, then looked at the page number and said, "Is that seriously *all* the progress that I've made so far?"



I realize that I'll probably get the hairy eyeball from several readers for saying this, but the number of *words* as compared to the number of actual *events* happening made me want to begin skimming pages.

I didn't skim though. I read every painstakingly-crafted, beautiful word.

So, just as I did above when using 140+ words to say " poetic, but wordy ", I felt that the story could have used a bit more focus on its progression from plot point to plot point.

Point in case, the blurb sounds very Christopher and Malachi focused, but at around 75% through the book, my feeling was that I knew more about nearly everyone in the story than I did Malachi.

At the very least, I knew as much about the other characters and Malachi felt almost like an MC#3 to me, behind Christopher's little brother, Jay.

By that point, also, I wasn't sure that there were sufficient pages remaining to fully flush out a believable romance between Christopher and Malachi (aka Kai.)

But there were and the last 25% of the book was extremely well-paced and engaging. If the book up to that point had been as well-progressed, the majority of my words above would only be expletives describing my undying love for the book. : (

Christopher and Malachi do get their HEA and, as I said, the story is beautifully written, which I challenge anyone to deny.

"But..."

I do wish that the first three-fourths of the story had been as concise as it was touching.

3 'beautiful-but-middle-middle-middle' stars this time around.

-----------------------------------------------

My copy of the book was provided by the publisher for a fair, unbiased review.
Profile Image for Lori.
Author 2 books100 followers
March 2, 2015
Perfect. Just perfect.



THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN FANGIRLING

Suki Fleet does it again. She has written a most wonderful story that is on one hand hard and gritty, and on the other heart warming and romantic.

Suki first came on to my radar last year with This Is Not a Love Story (actually, that's a lie, the first story I loved of hers was her short for last years MM groups DRitC event, but I didn't make the connection for a little while), so the story that made me sit up and notice was TINALS. It was the book I annoyed my friends about until they read it. I was happy to provide the hankies as long as they read this amazing book...I suspect I'll be doing the same with this story.

Innocence is the perfect title for this book. Christopher is innocent, in so many, many ways - yet by the very nature of his family and lifestyle he is probably labelled as anything but. I absolutely fell in love with Christopher in this book. He is a hard working young man trying to the best for his brother whilst living with the pain of the past and the uncertainty of the future.

He is my favourite kind of character, not perfect, but perfect for the story. Flawed but brave and trying so hard. Strong and in need of love, oh boy did I yearn for him to find it. I loved the relationship with his brother Jay. I think seeing the dynamics between characters other than the two MC's really helps understand the fullness of the character on the page. I felt as if I knew Christopher, as if I understood him, as if I could feel what he was feeling. the confusion of the past, trying to grow up and never sure if the choices he was making were right. Every single one of us understand that, even if we're not in the same situation as Christopher.

Suki Fleet has this inimitable talent of taking characters and lifestyles that are far from glamorous, ones that are gritty and painful, and making the reader need to keep turning the pages, need to find out more. Her style is so...frank and honest. It draws me in and, as I'm reading, I'm not even wishing for fairy tale castles and princes to the rescue, I'm just wishing for the heroes of the story to get what they want.

And they are heroes. Malachi...what a confused, guilt ridden persona he is. I adored him. His hesitancy, the way he denied his feelings, denied his own happiness because the past is always lurking in the shadows. Trying not to let emotions win. Trying to be the better man...
Confused, conflicted, trying to deal with his own pain - I felt so much for him, again for the decisions he made, the consequences they caused.

The knowing that we are all, always, possibly just a decision away from pain. That morbid bit of us that hears the news and thanks the deity's that it wasn't us. That we didn't get on the flight/go to the party/drive in the snow etc. Decisions can be the devil's work, too many times it feels like you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. I felt for Malachi - could he have made better choices? Possibly. Had he spent enough time trying to make up those choices? I think so, with all my heart.

I loved that Suki Fleet doesn't shy away from gritty story lines, scenarios that aren't quite so palatable. How many stories are written about travellers? There are romanticised Romany gypsy stories, but not many about the travelling community, often seen here in Britain as the scum of the earth (didds, pikies..sound familiar?) I adore how Suki shows we are all human first and foremost and where or how you live doesn't change that.

I would urge anyone who hasn't read this author to do so...I swear picking up TINALS was the best choices I ever made book-wise. An author to watch for sure.

Review previously at
.
Profile Image for Em.
648 reviews139 followers
March 18, 2015
This book fit my mood perfectly and was recommended to me just at the right time. It has a sad and melancholic feel throughout but there is also a lot of hope that things will change for the better and they do.

Christopher, his brother Jay and their father live aboard a houseboat and have have been travelling the waterways of England for the last 10 years. Christopher is restless and wants change and when the boat pulls up in Arlow, a town the family haven't visited in years, his world completely changes and events spiral out of control.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book, and believe it's one of those that is best read in one sitting as there is no easy place to stop. One event flows into another. I loved Malachi, how kind and patient he was with Christopher and the love that slowly builds between them is just beautiful and well worth the wait.

A couple of ever so slightly niggling points for me that I would have liked resolved are...





Profile Image for Mónica BQ.
884 reviews136 followers
January 19, 2016
I am unsure as to what to say about this book. Part of me wants to just leave it with a rating and no explanation, because the thing is I am not certain I can articulately say something about this.

Did I like the story, plot-wise? Not really.
Did this feel like a romance? No.
Was the absolute vastness of the angst that permeates this story necessary? No.
Was I satisfied with the way the plot progresses? No.
Do I need a complete whole new book to actually understand Malachi and his feelings because he sometimes felt like a footnote in his own novel? Yes.
Did anything in this book covered the expectations I had when I started reading? No.
Do I want 10 new epilogues to feel like anything in this story got a resolution? YES.

But, does Suki Fleet writes like she's speaking directly to my heart? Yes.
Is reading her books like music to my soul? Yes.
Would I have stayed up again to read 1000 pages more of this even if I didn't like anything that was happening in the story? Yes.

Will I continue to read everything Suki Fleet writes like her words are my holy grail, even if they are her sixth year science project in the biological composition of the anemone and I cannot think of anything more horrifying than that? Yes. Yes, I will.
Profile Image for Tess.
2,204 reviews26 followers
March 3, 2015
*4.5 stars*

You have to prepare yourself for a Suki Fleet novel. Her characters are in such tough situations and there is an overarching feeling of desperation … but in the end it is always worth it.

Innocence is another wonderful, intense, gritty story from Ms. Fleet about a broken boy from a broken family who gradually loses his innocence. It's not the easiest read and there's a lot of bad things that happen in this book, but there is also a beautiful love that grows between Christopher and Malachi.

This will appeal to those who loved This is Not a Love Story. If you haven't read that one, you should! In atmosphere, Innocence also gave me some of the same feelings as Heart by Garrett Leigh (perhaps because part of the story also takes place in a gypsy camp).

Highly recommended!

Profile Image for Karen Wellsbury.
820 reviews42 followers
August 20, 2015
I read this on my holiday, which was 5 weeks ago, and it still lingers in my memory.
I loved every word. Proper review to follow
Profile Image for Elizabetta.
1,247 reviews34 followers
March 17, 2015

4.5 stars

Beautifully written and heartbreaking. Christopher is a gypsy, a traveler. He lives with his father and younger brother on a houseboat and his story is suffused with life on and around the river, with deep poverty, and with the very close bond he has with his brother. They are motherless boys— she ran off
years ago leaving them with a rather cold and distant father, to a life of wandering and yearning for her.

Christopher is on the cusp of adulthood, about to turn nineteen, and he's bursting with wanting more. When they return, after ten years, to a small town where some life-changing events were triggered way back then, another series of events propels Christopher towards adulthood. He's like a pinball bouncing around the mystery of his mother and finding his place in the world, and finding love. It’s a bittersweet coming of age.

I really liked the setting of the story-- the river, the gypsy camp, and the boy’s life on the edge of society. 'Innocence' doesn't make apologies for any of it. Christopher's finding himself and love within this marginalized world is beautiful.

My (small) complaints lie with the love interest, Malachai and the story ending. I think he’s a lovely character, complex and mysterious but, unfortunately, he confuses me (and Christopher) for much of the story. He is much older (about ten years) so this may be (probably is) what motivates his actions towards Christopher, but it’s not clear. I really liked the content of the story ending but the getting there seemed a bit abrupt. It seemed more of a conclusion for Christopher than for Malachai. I very much connected with this author's voice and will definitely be seeking out more of their work.
Profile Image for Izengabe.
276 reviews
March 7, 2016
La primera mitad me estaba gustando mucho pero, más o menos a un tercio del final, la lectura se me empezó a hacer cuesta arriba. La trama se pone un poco culebrón y un poco repetitiva. Aparecen demasiados elementos que, en mi opinión, no se resuelven. Me quedé con la sensación de haber terminado un libro diferente del que empecé... :(
Pero está muy bien escrito, leeré más libros de la autora, seguro.
Profile Image for QuietlyKat.
672 reviews13 followers
October 2, 2019
Original review August 26, 2019
When I read Innocence for the first time 2+ years ago, I was captivated and immersed. I loved it but found it impossible to find the words to adequately articulate my reaction to it. Reading it for the second time, I found it equally compelling and immersive but once again find myself struggling to put my feelings about it into words.

Innocence, like all Fleets’s stories, moved me. The characters are complex and messy and they feel real. I love the way Fleet is able to portray complicated, confounding, conflicting emotions in such a poignant, beautiful and relatable way. Even when I’m cringing and crying and begging characters to make different choices, I truly appreciate how those very choices speak to my soul, how they resonate with my past, my present and also, I’m sure, my future self.

It’s not idyllic. It’s not fairy tale. It’s raw and rough. The characters flawed and messy. And rich and real and so very beautiful. Fleet has a profound gift for finding and portraying the beauty in even the grimmest of circumstances and the messiest of characters. If you’re looking for something fluffy and sugary sweet, you won’t find that here, what you’ll get is a lot closer to real life - ups, downs, highs, lows, happiness, sorrow, hope, despair, beauty, ugliness, getting lost and being found - life with all of its glorious facets. For me, that kind of story always leaves a much deeper impression, a greater sense of satisfaction and a fuller appreciation of others and of life’s challenges.

ETA October 2, 2019 after reading for the third time:
My third reading isn’t the published version. It’s actually the original version that Suki has posted on Patreon. I basically read the two versions side by side jumping to the published version when I could tell there was a change between the two. Before I began reading, I had my suspicions about what the changes would be based on things Suki had said in Facebook and/or Twitter posts as well as questions I had when I read the published version. I don’t want to spoil it so suffice to say, I always wondered if there was an additional unspoken dimension in one of the main relationships and it turns out there was.

I’m happy I’ve now read both versions. I don’t have a preference and my review remains the same other than to note that the original version on Patreon touches on some taboos and is even messier than the published story.
Profile Image for Terri.
2,886 reviews58 followers
August 21, 2021
DNF at 14%; usually I can deal with this author's always deeply angsty stories, but this one turned out to be particularly hard on me, too hard, because it feels directionless, with only nebulous goals and even less agency than her characters typically have. At this point I expected to have better clues of the main character's desires and needs, and without that, in this pandemic heck, it is too much for my poor brain to handle.
Profile Image for Tamika♥RBF MOOD♥.
1,224 reviews146 followers
June 1, 2015
4.5 stars

Okay, this is my first book my Suki Fleet. It will not be my last. I plan on trying to devour everything she's ever written if it able to break my heart like this one has. Poor Christopher. I don't think he's ever had a chance at life, or to grown up around people. He's so naive, and I'm not upset because he goes through some things in this book. I love his relationship with his brother. Jay is such an amazing boy, who I wanted to wrap up in my arms and never let go. I can't possibly ever know what it's like to live like them. It's heartbreaking because when the Dad is first introduced I'm upset with him, but throughout the entire book I get it. He is doing the best he's able to do on his own. I don't fault him for it, yes things could have been different but this is all he knows.

Christopher is of age where he can work. His father sets up with some guy name Liam to deconstruct houses and he's basically working for free. There he meets Finn. *Sighs* I truly disliked Finn, I don't know if anything he's ever done or said to Christopher was genuine. I hate that for Christopher, because he truly thought someone genuine liked him, and while Finn did alot of disgusting things in my opinion, it could have been worst. The only positive thing involving Finn to me are the introduction of Pixie and Malachi. Pixie redeems herself to be a little bit, I understand the discomfort she might have been under regarding Christopher and the treatment of him, but I'm glad she is able to act professional when the times are needed.

Oh Malachi, you did not make it easy for anyone to love you. Malachi is like that brooding dark guy who wants to be alone, but always is their for you when need him. He does some remarkable things for Christopher. I can see on the page when Christopher falls in love with him, but then it's BIG ASS BOMB that gets dropped. OMG,I didn't see that coming. None of it. Christopher mother abandons his family and him at a young age. You can see the after effects in the treatment of Jay who had an accident when he was younger. It's so many heartbreaking moments, and I found myself just crying through them. I just wanted these boys to find peace and a little happiness. Of course it does, but at what price? They go through alot, it's crazy the amount of resilience Christopher has. It does check out, but with the amount of stress he is under, who wouldn't? I absolutely loved this book so much that I added it to my favorite of 2015. Can't wait for more from this author.
Profile Image for ☆ Todd.
1,442 reviews1,587 followers
December 17, 2015

I'm having slightly mixed feelings about this read. The book was beautifully written. The words were both powerful and touching. The first chapter was very engaging and made me sit up straighter as I proceeded with my reading.

"But..."

As the chapters progressed, the beautiful words continued on, just as they had before; however, the sheer volume of them became distracting.

I was literally reading and reading and reading and reading, then looked at the page number and said, "Is that seriously *all* the progress that I've made so far?"



I realize that I'll probably get the hairy eyeball from several readers for saying this, but the number of *words* as compared to the number of actual *events* happening made me want to begin skimming pages.

I didn't skim though. I read every painstakingly-crafted, beautiful word.

So, just as I did above when using 140+ words to say " poetic, but wordy ", I felt that the story could have used a bit more focus on its progression from plot point to plot point.

Point in case, the blurb sounds very Christopher and Malachi focused, but at around 75% through the book, my feeling was that I knew more about nearly everyone in the story than I did Malachi.

At the very least, I knew as much about the other characters and Malachi felt almost like an MC#3 to me, behind Christopher's little brother, Jay.

By that point, also, I wasn't sure that there were sufficient pages remaining to fully flush out a believable romance between Christopher and Malachi (aka Kai.)

But there were and the last 25% of the book was extremely well-paced and engaging. If the book up to that point had been as well-progressed, the majority of my words above would only be expletives describing my undying love for the book. : (

Christopher and Malachi do get their HEA and, as I said, the story is beautifully written, which I challenge anyone to deny.

"But..."

I do wish that the first three-fourths of the story was as concise as it was touching.

3 'beautiful-but-middle-middle-middle' stars this time around.

-----------------------------------------------------------

My copy of the book was provided by the publisher for a fair, unbiased review.
Profile Image for Amy.
1,030 reviews100 followers
March 30, 2015
Review soon
Profile Image for Love Is All Around.
2,317 reviews68 followers
February 2, 2025
RECENSIONE A CURA DI BARBARA
Dolorosamente coinvolgente!
Suki Fleet ci cattura sempre grazie alla sua penna melodica e intrinsecamente tormentata. La sua narrativa è sempre dolorosamente poetica, una scrittura che ti strazia e piega nel dolore dei suoi protagonisti. L’armonia dei suoni che ci accompagnano lungo tutto il cammino danno vita a emozioni così contorte e confuse che riescono a sprofondare nell’anima del lettore, lacerandone ogni certezza.
Continua sul nostro blog!
Profile Image for beautiful journey。.
154 reviews8 followers
November 10, 2024
Suki's prose is very powerful: with so little words it says so much. And, although, your heart breaks over and over while reading, you can be sure it's mended by the end of the book.
Innocence was all that and more and yet too short for my taste and the ending - too rushed. I am aware that it is about teenagers, and Suki depicts them very well, but on every page I wanted to cry: please, communicate!
Profile Image for UltraMeital.
1,283 reviews49 followers
October 19, 2018
It's hard for me to actually write it but it's my truth so I gotta - I didn't like this book AT ALL. It was all over the place with Christopher running around in circles, in his head but also in real life. It FELT like the YA I stay clear of and frankly I don't get what a 29 years old guy would find in someone 10 years younger. Their whole relationship was BEYOND strange. Not to mention with the book finished I still don't think I know anything about Malachi besides he's a mechanic who loves to play and sing music (there's also a dark secret, but it's a spoiler-free-zone here so I'll let you figure it out..).

This is Christopher Grey's story for sure. We follow him around as he tries to find a place in this world he can call his own. He have been living with his dad and younger brother on a boat all of his life. When he was 5 years old, the 3 years old Jay got burned by accident which consequented in their mother leaving for good. Doesn't sound like the exemplary mother, does she? and their father isn't that much better even if he have been taking care of them since then. it's not black and white I guess.. he is who he is, and he's doing what he thinks is the right thing even if his reasoning aren't the best. Jay is the focus of Christopher's life, he would do right around anything for him, he is his number one priority even if the one thing he craves - finding their mother - is not something Christopher is mad about. He doesn't feel there's a point and also where to start?

When the Grey family decides to stay for a while in the small town of Arlow it's time for Christopher to earn his keep, his father finds him one with a bunch of "gypsies" from a nearby camp. When Christopher goes there for the first time he is struck by the beautiful Malachi. He sees something in him that almost looks familiar and he can't ignore the attraction. Yet Malachi doesn't seem interested.. There's someone else who is, but Christopher isn't sure about it at all. I personally HATED it. I guess it was "there" to make Christopher grow up a bit, but it was totally and absolutely unnecessary.

As Christopher tires to find friends, capture the eye of his love interest, find an income - caring for his brother becomes more difficult as Jay feels left out. They were basically your typical teenagers fighting over stupid things even if for them it was more of a "life and death" since they literally have NO ONE else besides one another. They were sweet together when they weren't SO annoying I wanted to punch them.. Jay wouldn't talk but complain Christopher runs from him and the other way around. It doesn't work that well in the end, at least that's how I see it.

While Christoper feels connected to Malachi and can't explain it, Malachi actually can because he seems to know more about Christopher than he should have. Have they met before? How does he know his mother? Yet Malachi keeps his secrets close to his heart and when he finally spits it all out Christopher explodes. It was the exact thing I expected from him. Not mature enough to actually DEAL, only to run away and hide. Even when he has a chance to have closure if he does or doesn't we actually don't know because the book ends somewhat ubruptly with a very strange ending which gave us literally NOTHING to understand anything but Malachi and Christoper are apparently happy together. What about everything and everyone else? Too much was left unsaid. Too many things unresolved.

Nope. It wasn't for me, though I've LOVED everything else I've read by Suki (and I'll continue on reading her books FOR SURE). I think this book was somehow "half cooked". There were too many holes in the story, not enough of a relationship buildup and their connection felt somewhat ILL considering their past. It didn't work for me AT ALL.

Well, actually this book is currently unavailable! (bought it a long time ago..) Thing is, Suki is re-releasing all of her books so though she almost finished re-releasing all of them, somehow this book still isn't. If you're curious about this one I say, add it to your list.

More Reviews HERE
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Profile Image for Dawn Sister.
Author 15 books73 followers
April 9, 2015
When you read a story written by Suki Fleet you can be sure of one thing: Your heart will be torn from your chest, into thousands of pieces, put back together and replaced then torn out again.

That is the only way to describe what her writing does to me.

Every time, she manages to create characters so real to me I can almost taste them. I go to sleep and dream about them. Mostly to give them happy endings because the lives she gives them and the situations she puts them in are never a bed of roses.

Innocence is just another fine example of her unending talent. She gives us characters so full of colour and depth and we don’t even see how they are created for us. With the clever use of a few choice words and sometimes in just one sentence the character comes to life on the page and we care about them. We care about their life; cry about their past; worry for their future.

And it's not just the main characters that get this treatment. Suki creates a wealth of secondary characters that surround her MCs that fire our imagination and make us crave to hear their story as well.

Then there's the way she creates the mood, describes the weather so clearly and so concisely. We hear the rain falling on the river. We see the sunshine beating down. We feel the heat or the biting cold.

Basically, reading a Suki Fleet story is like a sensory overload and Innocence is no different. This story takes us on a young man's journey from innocent youth to adult and shows us all his mistakes, joys, anguish and utter confusion along the way. We see it all through his eyes and we are with him all the way. There is no pause for breath from the moment the story begins, in the moonlight, on the deck of a canal boat, to the final chapter on the streets of London. There is no break in the story, no pause for time to pass. Christopher and us are carried along on the journey, travelling inevitably towards the ending, or is it the beginning? You can never tell with Suki!

Read a Suki fleet novel will change the way you look at life. No other stories I've read have managed to do this so thoroughly.
Profile Image for Joyfully Jay.
9,101 reviews520 followers
March 11, 2015
A Joyfully Jay review.

5 stars


While Christopher owns this story, the prose that author Suki Fleet weaves into this story is its own character and the foundation for the entire book. The writing flows from one breath to the other with a lyrical and descriptive coming of age tale and when you open this book, you are immediately transported into Christopher’s world. To start with Christopher, he lives in a lonely and sheltered place. He exists on his father’s boat, never asking questions, coasting along, and taking care of his younger brother. The nurturing relationship between the two brothers is at times the driving force of the story, but it is not the end all focus. Christopher sees the brightness in others which draws people to his overall innocent nature. But, due to Christopher’s upbringing, he is left completely unprepared for the outside world and while terrible things happen around him, Fleet has a way of blurring the edges to slightly soften the blow. The writing is at times eerily quiet and other times, as Christopher spirals out of control and fractures, shatters, and falls apart, he remains so very clearly drawn.

The story also hinges on Christopher’s relationship with Malachi. There is a steady pace with a few subtle observations thrown in along the way to expose their connection. And, while there is support for each other, the characters are forced to go it alone at times to dip deep to get a footing on figuring things out for themselves, so they may then attempt to figure out their relationship together.

Read Michelle's review in its entirety here.
Profile Image for GlamLawyer .
1,597 reviews
December 20, 2015
3.5 stars but I couldn't round them up. I guess sometimes books just don't work for us the way they do for other people.

I like the writing style. The author is great at showing the inside of characters. You are really in their head and you feel them.

Christopher is a beautifully conflicted character. Desperately he tries to make a life for himself and for his brother Jay. Their relationship is very close and partly it feels like this relationship stops both young men from growing and being independent. First it seems like Jay is the one who needs his brother the most but actually it's Chris who is hiding behind Jay. He is using him for an excuse for a lot of things.

The world they grew up in is the world of Irish Travelers and Romanian gypsies. I liked that world building. It's very interesting.

I had issues with the romance between Christopher and Malachi. I couldn't get over the past both had and their connection. I wish also we could have learned more about Malachi but he remains an enigma.

I didn't like the storyline about Christopher's mother. I didn't believe it.

The end didn't feel right for me. It was like something was not finished. Like the HEA was forced to heal the reader's heart. I think a HFN would work for me better. Especially because of Malachi. There's not enough about him.

Sadly there are also some typos ( Kia instead of Kai) that made me nuts. Maybe because I know ppl with both names.
Profile Image for Aleksandra.
1,547 reviews
November 5, 2016
I couldn't connect to the story or the characters. Essentially I didn't like anything about the book.
I was about to give it 3 stars but the tropes in the second half of the book were my least favorite of all. I rolled my eyes and gritted my teeth and tried to just bear with them.
And the romance. It was mostly okay, I was indifferent but then it became weird. Like 30 year old man says that he has always loved the boy who he met when he was 16. That boy was 6ish years old back then. Like wtf. He might have just run his mouth and all, but that was decisively weird.
Profile Image for Martin.
92 reviews13 followers
March 29, 2015
The gypsy topic was a little bit unusual for me at first but I enjoyed this book so much. Perfectly written with lots of emotion and melancholia. Highly recommended.
Profile Image for A.L. Lester.
Author 27 books152 followers
November 19, 2020
This was a surprise like for me. I don't read a lot of contemporary and when I do it has to have a lot of angst for me to stay engaged. This has loads of angst and I loved it. Two broken people with secrets from each others past find each other. It's an age gap romance and I was slightly freaked by the fact that the younger MC is only eighteen and the older one is twenty-nine. They both feel like babies to my fifty-year-old self though and the younger one is very mature, so I got past that quite quickly. The story is lovely, evocative of the English countryside I love. I'm really pleased I read it and I will read it again.
Profile Image for Beagle Lover (Avid Reader).
622 reviews53 followers
May 22, 2021
Heartwarming story about loss, finding love and forgiveness.

A very solid 4.25 stars.

A truly remarkable tale of a teen, Christopher, and his search for his place in the world.

Living on a riverboat with his younger brother, Jay, and his somewhat abusive and alcoholic father, the trio moves from town to town along the river. The brothers are extremely close, at times a little too close. (No, not sexually, although both are gay.)

The remainder of this beautifully plotted story is so delicately balanced between the brothers, Jay's need to find his mother, who left the family after a cooking accident left Jay facially disfigured, Chris' longing for love and acceptance from his father and another man and the tragic accident that left Jay in a coma after Chris's father kicked him out for being gay and being accused of not giving Chris the money he spent all summer working for. Written with feeling, ever progressing clarity, wonderful characters and vividly described scenes, I cannot do this novel any more justice that giving it 4.25 stars. I do not want to delve into plot lines and backstory...I feel this story must be read to be fully enjoyed and understood. I highly recommend it!
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