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328 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 1, 2007
In the Hushlands—those Librarian-controlled nations such as the United States, Canada, and England—this book will be published as a work of fantasy. Do not be fooled! This is no work of fiction, nor is my name really Brandon Sanderson. Both are guises to hide the book from Librarian agents. Unfortunately, even with these precautions, I suspect that the Librarians will discover the book and ban it. In that case, our Free Kingdom Agents will have to sneak into libraries and bookstores to put it on shelves. Count yourself lucky if you’ve found one of these secret copies.
It is a writer’s greatest pleasure to hear that someone was kept up until the unholy hours of the morning reading one of his books. Plus we get a kickback from the caffeine industry.
Hooks and cliffhangers belong only at the ends of chapters. That way, the reader moves on directly to the next page—where, thankfully, they can read more of the story without having to suffer some sort of mindless interruption. Honestly, authors can be so self-indulgent.
The ending of a book is, in my experience, both the best and the worst part to read. For the ending will often determine whether you love or hate the book. Both emotions lead to disappointment. If the ending was good, and the book was worth your time, then you are left annoyed and depressed because there is no more book to read. However, if the ending was bad, then it’s too late to stop reading. You’re left annoyed and depressed because you wasted so much time on a book with a bad ending.
Now, you’re probably wondering about the beginning of the previous chapter, with its reference to evil Librarians, altars made from encyclopedias, and its general feeling of “Oh, no! Alcatraz is going to be sacrificed!” Before we get to this, let me explain something about myself. I’ve been many things in my life. Student. Spy. Sacrifice. Potted plant. However, at this point, I’m something completely different from all of those—something more frightening than any of them.
I’m a writer.
I generally don’t recommend this kind of book at all. It is far too interesting. Perhaps you have had other kinds of books recommended to you. Perhaps, even, you have been given books by friends, parents, or teachers, then told that these books are the type you “have to read.” Those books are invariably described as “important”—which, in my experience, pretty much means that they’re boring. (Words like meaningful and thoughtful are other good clues.) If there is a boy in these kinds of books, he will not go on an adventure to fight against Librarians, paper monsters, and one-eyed Dark Oculators. In fact, the lad will not go on an adventure or fight against anything at all. Instead, his dog will die. Or, in some cases, his mother will die. If it’s a really meaningful book, both his dog and his mother will die. (Apparently, most writers have something against dogs and mothers.)
“And what is your Talent?” I dutifully asked.
“I can say things that make absolutely no sense whatsoever.”
“I thought everyone here had that Talent,” I noted. Nobody laughed. Free Kingdomers never get my jokes.
Think Harry Potter only with evil Librarians but a lot better.
Although it’s obviously written for young readers, it was still entertaining for adults. The story was fast paced and very humorous. The characters are fun and relatable as far possible in this type of story. It’s a quick read and well worth it.
Perfect for kids. I think it would be a great bedtime story that parents could read with their kids. If anyone still does that.
I really enjoyed this, the humor is spot on, the sarcasm and quips make you laugh out loud.
The plot is lively, entertaining and full of twists and turns that you might - or might not have predicted. And of course one of the most unique and entrancing magical systems you'll ever read about.
The distinctive style in which this book is written is the true joy. Told as an AUTOBIOGRAPHY,
Alcatraz Sanderson takes us on his journey of how he discovered his true inheritance.
Forget everything you ever thought you knew, and go read this book.
An unfortunate hero, will tell you exactly why he isn't a hero. And you will never look at Librarians the same way.
If you are anything like me - clever, fond of goat cheese, devilishly handsome - then you have undoubtedly read many books. And, while reading those books, you likely have thought that you are smarter than the characters in those books.Extra points to anyone who just got that Physics joke.
You're just imagining things.
Now, I've already spoken about foreshadowing (a meddling literary convention of which Heisenberg would uncertainly be proud). However, there are other reasons why you only think that you're smarter than the characters in this book. ...
Authors write books for one, and only one, reason: because we like to torture people.I KNEW IT.
Now, actual torture is frowned upon in civilized society. Fortunately, the authorial community has discovered in storytelling an even more powerful - and more fulfilling - means of causing agony in others. We write stories. And by doing so, we engage in a perfectly legal method of doing all kinds of mean and terrible things to our readers.
“If you don't believe what I'm telling you, then ask yourself this: would any decent, kind-hearted individual become a writer? Of course not.”
“Authors also create lovable, friendly characters, then proceed to do terrible things to them, like throw them in unsightly librarian-controlled dungeons. This makes readers feel hurt and worried for the characters. The simple truth is that authors like making people squirm. If this weren't the case, all novels would be filled completely with cute bunnies having birthday parties.”
“By now it is probably very late at night, and you have stayed up to read this book when you should have gone to sleep. If this is the case, then I commend you for falling into my trap. It is a writer’s greatest pleasure to hear that someone was kept up until the unholy hours of the morning reading one of his books.”
“You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.
It's really funny.”
“Authors write books for one, and only one, reason: because we like to torture people.”
“Alcatraz actually knows a person named Brandon Sanderson. That man, however, is a fantasy writer and is therefore prone to useless bouts of delusion in literary form.”
"It looks... dangerous," I said.Gran libro de Sanderson. Tiene un ritmo rápido, mucho humor y, por supuesto, una trama muy original. En este el autor aborda el verdadero lugar del poder, en dónde reside en realidad, y lo importante que es la información para nuestro comportamiento: cómo todo se reduce a cuán informada está una sociedad o un individuo. Es decir, quien controla la información, maneja al pueblo. Muy interesante planteo de Sanderson. Es una novela mucho más inteligente de lo que parece.
"Well, of course," Bastille said. "It's a library."
Algo que no voy a soslayar es lo bien que empleó Sanderson la metaficción. Es una de las características que más me gustaron del relato. Amo la narrativa autorreferencial.
Great success often depends upon being able to distinguish between the impossible and the improbable.En fin, no es una obra muy popular de este autor, pero me gustó mucho y la recomiendo sin un ápice de duda.