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337 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 1, 2008
You could be a young boy, wanting to read an adventure story. You could be a young girl, investigating the truth of the Librarian Conspiracy. You could be a serial killer who specializes in reading books, then seeking out the authors and murdering them in horrible ways.Alcatraz has done it again.
(If you happen to fall into that last category, you should know that my name isn't really Alcatraz Smedry, nor is it Brandon Sanderson. My name is really Garth Nix, and you can find me in Australia. Oh, and I insulted your mother once. What're you going to do about it, huh?)
What’s your Talent?”Can't we all, Australia?
Australia smiled. “I can wake up in the morning looking incredibly ugly!”
Writers hate people. If you've ever met a writer, you know that they're generally awkward, slovenly individuals who live beneath stairwells, hiss at those who pass and forget to bath for weeklong periods. And those are the socially competent ones.
I'm not sure what authors have against adults, but everyone seems to hate them to an extent usually reserved for dogs and mothers. Why else make them out to be such idiots? "Ah, look, the dark lord of evil has come to attack the castle! Aaaaaannnnd, there's my lunch break. Have fun saving the world on your own, kids!"I read the book all the way through in one sitting! I'm sure the rest of the series will go by just as fast.
The biggest problem is, the adults have one of the most effective recruitment strategies in the world.
Give them enough time, and they'll turn any kid into one of them.
“Writers—particularly storytellers like myself—write about people. That is ironic, since we actually know nothing about them. Think about it. Why does someone become a writer? Is it because they like people? Of course not. Why else would we seek out a job where we get to spend all day, every day, cooped up in our basement with no company besides paper, a pencil, and our imaginary friends? Writers hate people. If you’ve ever met a writer, you know that they’re generally awkward, slovenly individuals who live beneath stairwells, hiss at those who pass, and forget to bathe for weeklong periods. And those are the socially competent ones.”
“Adults are not idiots
often in books such as this one, the opposite impression is given. Adults in those stories will either (a) get captured, (b) disappear conspicuously when there is trouble, or (c) refuse to help. ( im not sure what authors have against adults, but everyone seems to hate them to an extent usually reserved for dogs and mothers. Why else make them out to make such idiots? "Ah look, the dark lord of evil has come to attack the castle! Annnd. ther's my lunch break. Have fun saving the word on your own kids")
In the real world adults tend to get involved in everything whether you want them to or not. They won't disappear when the dark lord appears, though they may try to sue them.
This discrepancy is yet another proof that most books are fantasies while this book is utterly true and invaluable.
There really isn't a lot to say about this book. The story is entertaining. The characters are fun but don't really have any depth. Not really sure they are meant to. I think I would have given it four stars if not for how distracting the author's narration became after a while. I know it's meant to be funny but it really distracts from the pacing of the story after a while. I don't know maybe I'm trying to take the book too seriously or something.
I still enjoyed it enough that I'll read the next book in the series.
“Oh, you didn’t want to hear that? I’m sorry. You’ll simply have to forget that I wrote it. There are several convenient ways to do that. I hear hitting yourself on the head with a blunt object can be very effective. You should try using one of Brandon Sanderson’s fantasy novels. They’re big enough, and goodness knows that’s really the only useful thing to do with them.”