Briar Patch Boogie

by Joe R. Lansdale

Hap and Leonard may never go fishing again.

A rustic get-away turns into a life or death dash through an East Texas cypress swamp.

They encounter a victim of camo clad hunters that classify sport in a whole different way.

A head start is as fair as it gets as Hap and Leonard are thrown in the woods and must run for their lives. Their wise-cracks may be sharper than the hunter's arrows, but not as deadly.

Genres: Mystery, Fiction, Short Stories, Crime, Thriller

56 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 11, 2016

About the author

Champion Mojo Storyteller Joe R. Lansdale is the author of over forty novels and numerous short stories. His work has appeared in national anthologies, magazines, and collections, as well as numerous foreign publications. He has written for comics, television, film, newspapers, and Internet sites. His work has been collected in more than two dozen short-story collections, and he has edited or co-edited over a dozen anthologies. He has received the Edgar Award, eight Bram Stoker Awards, the Horror Writers Association Lifetime Achievement Award, the British Fantasy Award, the Grinzani Cavour Prize for Literature, the Herodotus Historical Fiction Award, the Inkpot Award for Contributions to Science Fiction and Fantasy, and many others. His novella Bubba Ho-Tep was adapted to film by Don Coscarelli, starring Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis. His story "Incident On and Off a Mountain Road" was adapted to film for Showtime's "Masters of Horror," and he adapted his short story "Christmas with the Dead" to film hisownself. The film adaptation of his novel Cold in July was nominated for the Grand Jury Prize at the Sundance Film Festival, and the Sundance Channel has adapted his Hap & Leonard novels for television.

He is currently co-producing several films, among them The Bottoms, based on his Edgar Award-winning novel, with Bill Paxton and Brad Wyman, and The Drive-In, with Greg Nicotero. He is Writer In Residence at Stephen F. Austin State University, and is the founder of the martial arts system Shen Chuan: Martial Science and its affiliate, Shen Chuan Family System. He is a member of both the United States and International Martial Arts Halls of Fame. He lives in Nacogdoches, Texas with his wife, dog, and two cats.

Reviews

[Dan Schwent · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hap and Leonard go fishing and encounter a dying woman with an arrow sticking out of her side.

Briar Patch Boogie is a short Hap and Leonard story featuring some crazies who hunt people for sport. It takes place after Honky Tonk Samurai. In fact, it answers some questions left after that book and may be considered somewhat spoilerish.

Anyway, our boys crack wise and try to do the right thing while not becoming human pincushions. Like I said, it's a short tale and I've pretty much said all I can. It's a quick and enjoyable read. 3.5 out of 5 stars.

[Dave Edmunds · Rating 4 out of 5]

"If they were to throw us into the woods and come hunting us, they'd be throwing us into our briar patch. Born and raised in the woods, we were. Born and raised."

A Hap and Leonard short story is just what the doctor ordered after completing a seven hundred page fantasy epic. A standard novel from this series is always a fast paced, action packed and hilarious encounter and cramming all this into fifty pages would no doubt make for a rip-roaring experience. This is exactly what I need!

In fact this installment clocks in at fifty-six pages and is described by 'Champion' Joe himself as a novelette. Now I know what a shorts story is and I know what a novella is, but apparently this sits somewhere in between. You learn something every day.

I'm currently using the Goodreads reading list for Hap and Leonard to fit all the short entries in at the correct point and so far it has not let me down. Far better in my opinion to do it this way as you do get little nods to each in the main novels. But if you were wondering, this one was collected in Born for Trouble. So now you know.

"Leonard is the kind of guy to attack a rhino barehanded and expect to come home with it's horn. Sometimes you have to remind him he's just a man."

The Story

We begin with Hap Collins joining Leonard Pine on another fishing trip. This time in the swamps of Louisiana. Leonard scored a cheap deal via the local rag and as they say "you pay cheap, you get cheap." Lansdale uses this mundane start to install the trademark back-and-forth banter that the pair are famous for. Just before the brown stuff hits the metal, swirly thing.

While having zero luck catching fish, the boys stumbled upon a woman has been beaten, raped and hunted like a wild animal through the swamp. Looking to reform, Hap wants to get the law involved but Leonard has other plans. And it isn't long before those plans see the pair bang in trouble. I was left scratching my head at how they were going to get themselves out of this one. Let's just say things do not go smoothly.



Final Thoughts

For what it is, this a fantastic story. It's short, sharp, brutal and very entertaining. It's basically what would happen if Hap and Leonard wandered into the movie I Spit on Your Grave. You know things are not going to go well for the villains.

The dialogue, as always, is red hot and includes that trademark banter that I have grown to love. It's maybe the strongest aspect of Lansdale's writing. That means even when the plot is fairly formulaic, you can still have a great time with the exchanges between some very diverse and entertaining characters.

Even though the plot is pretty basic, it is very grim in tone. Even by Lansdale standards. But that makes it even sweeter when the boys deal out a bit of rough justice. It's one of the reasons I keep coming back to these books.

For fans of the series this provides a brilliant short read that you can quickly dip into between heavier reads. I highly recommend checking Goodreads order to fit in at the right point. Happy reading and...cheers!

[Sandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

“So, you won’t go get me a bottled water?”
“No.”
“I’d do it for you.”
“No you wouldn’t,” I said.
“Would too.”
“No you wouldn’t.”
“I bet I would.”
“Okay. Go get me one.”
“I asked you first. Look, if you were sick. Say you had a fever, or were dehydrated, and you asked me to go get you a water, I would.”
“I’m not sick.”
“But if you were, I’d get you a water.”
“You’re not sick, so why should I get you a water?”

Bickering like an old couple, the two buddies are trying to enjoy a fishing trip, but this gets interrupted when they encounter a special kind of huntsmen.

The usual fun, graphic violence, action...everything you want in a Hap and Leonard story is included.

3.5*

[Bill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Joe R Lansdale's legendary creations Hap Collins & Leonard Pine go fishing. Of course, anyone familiar with these two characters know it won't be that simple & it certainly isn't. There's the usual violence & humour you come to expect from Hap & Leonard's adventures & it all fits nicely into this entertaining short story. As always, not for the faint hearted.

[Mike · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's just a Hap & Leonard short story...nothing unexpected, lots of fun as usual...what you would expect if you are a H & L fan.

[Glen Krisch · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun dialogue, as per usual, but the plot felt rushed.

[Brandon Nagel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lansdale is one of the best storytellers writing today and Hap and Leonard are 2 of my favorite characters that he has ever created. This is just another one of his stories that I loved as usual. The man can do no wrong. A must read for all fans of his Hap and Leonard series.

[Don Gillette · Rating 5 out of 5]

After a steady diet of Hap and Leonard followed by three great seasons of the TV series on Sundance (and why those idiots cancelled it, I'll never understand), I took a break from the fellas for a while.
Briar Patch Boogie was a great, quick way to get back into them. It sort of brought both characters back to me quickly and easily and within just a few pages, I felt like I was creeping along through the East Texas woods and swamps with them.
Nobody writes dialogue like Joe R. Lansdale. Nothing fancy, nothing exaggerated, nothing forced. Just easy listening in the head.
The story is harsh; cruel and inhuman. Something that would have been considered outlandish 30 years ago--but something you'd read in the papers today and thank God you missed being a victim.
Naturally, the boys come out okay in the end--they always do. But the journey is what matters.
No, it ain't The Great Gatsby or To Kill A Mockingbird but it's exactly what it's supposed to be and it's perfectly written and executed. To me, that's a 5-star read.

[Scott Cumming · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hap and Leonard get in trouble as they are wont to do on a fishing trip. Stumbling upon a dying woman who is part of someone's greatest game. The two "hunters" find their quarry and Hap and Leonard follow them hoping to exact some vengeance.

Like all the Hap and Leonard stories this one is violent and funny with Leonard never knowing when to shut up and Hap being reluctantly indulging in the former. The opening of the story is Hap and Leonard I their purest form just ragging on each other about nothing in spitfire dialogue and is probably the biggest reason I come back to them again and again. It's always good to spend time with some old literary friends.

[Bob · Rating 5 out of 5]

Even when Hap and Leonard try to get away for R&R, they find themselves fighting for their lives. This time they encounter a pair of hunters who get their jollies killing human beings in the woods. Nice tight novelette. Highly recommended

[Nick · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Most Dangerous Game Hap and Leonard style! An absolute blast.

[GONZA · Rating 3 out of 5]

Many years ago I read a story (probably by Hitchcock but I'm not at all sure) in which men were treated as animals to hunt as if they were the beasts of a safari. I say no more, but I think it is necessary to add that this time there are Hap and Leonard involved ....

Tanti anni fa lessi un racconto (probabilmente di Hitchcock ma non ne sono affatto sicura) in cui gli uomini venivano trattati da animali da cacciare, come se fossero le bestie di un safari. Non dico altro, ma credo sia necessario aggiungere che stavolta ci sono Hap e Leonard coinvolti....

[Linda Cody · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another funny, grisly adventure for these unlikely best friends

Joe Lansdale is, without a doubt, one of my very favorite authors, and Hap and Leonard are the main reason. They gave the grimmest duties with wisecracks and heart. This is a shorter piece than the usual Hap and Leonard novel, but a worthy addition to the series. Even if you haven't read one of their books before, you can follow along with the plot and characters. If you like thrillers, horror and humor all together, give this a try.

[Gary L. Carter · Rating 4 out of 5]

Joe R. Lansdale’s Hap & Leonard - Truly Innovative

There is nothing like Hap and Leonard. Hap a white progressive hetrosexual and Leonard a black, gay Republican. Their friendship knows no bounds. Their friendship held together by a wisecracking sense of humor and genuine affection for each other.

[Bob Cantrell · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was just good reading. Like I always say Hap and Leonard can't seem to go anyplace without trouble just waiting for them to get there. This time they are just going fishing and then they find a dying woman in the woods from there it is all downhill for the guys. Got an hour to spare then grab a copy and get ready for the trip.

[Jon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm to the point in the Hap and Leonard books where they seem to be a string of novellas, which is fine by me. I've always believed that it takes just as much talent to write a short work as a long one and this is true here. The prose is quick and the story moves. It's also chopped full of action. Would be great for a rainy afternoon.

[David Beck · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hap and Leonard figure out that they are too old and soft to enjoy a rustic camping trip. They also stumble on some real bad people who think it is great sport to hunt prostitutes for sport. Hap and Leonard do what they usually do when faced with bad people, kick butt and take names.

[Tina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Always a good time spent with Hap and Leonard. They may never go fishing again after this episode. Psychos abound in this short story of our favorite misfits.

[josh bachman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good Read

Enjoyable book i recommend it to all. Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes

[Colleen · Rating 3 out of 5]

wow, really violent and gruesome, even by Hap and Leonard standards. Some funny bits and good prevails, as always

[Kevin Beck · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hap and Leonard once again stumble into a bad situation. As usual they kick bad guy butt while being outrageously funny.

[Shane Kegler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Felt like Hap and Leonard in a horror movie. Gripping story. High stakes! Could have been a full length book, but i was very happy with the read.

[Roger · Rating 4 out of 5]

Briar Patch Boogie is not a novel. It is not even a novella. It is more of a novelette. But rather than get hung up on length, as men often do, let's talk about Briar Patch Boogie. This is a near perfect read. It is full of Lansdale's patent pending mix of violence and humor. With a Kindle Unlimited subscription this is free, so that was an added bonus. Hap Collins and Leonard Pine are two characters whose (mis) adventures are always eminently enjoyable. The new reader can get a good thumbnail sketch of these two characters, and the returning reader can revel in more of their special lunacy.

[Trevor · Rating 3 out of 5]

Short Hap and Leonard mini adventure. It might actually have wrapped up a bit too soon. But it will do until I get their new book.

The ebook is only 75% of the total book with the balance being an excerpt from Act of Love, a book about their cop friend Marvin.

[James · Rating 3 out of 5]

Another "Lansdale lite", an enjoyable read, but not nearly so much as a full-blown Hap & Leonard novel. Also, I thought this one was supposed to have some continuity with the last full length novel "Honky Tonk Samurai"; it didn't. Neither did "Coco Butternut". Maybe with "Rusty Puppy".

I generally find the dashed-off Kindle-only novellas a bit unsatisfying, and I know they are aimed at the completist fans such as myself. A little disappointed in Lansdale for participating in that trend.

[Thomas · Rating 3 out of 5]

So, there's a television show about Hap and Leonard that's close to finishing its first season. I've been hearing about it for several months now, and as good as it sounds, I have a hard time seeing how anyone can capture those characters as well as Lansdale does in his fiction. But folks are hearing about it, are probably going to watch it, and maybe they want to read some of those Lansdale stories. Enter Briar Patch Boogie.

The story is, of course, about Hap and Leonard, and as usual, they fall neck-deep into trouble by witnessing something terrible. Their honor and their sense of justice force them to get involved, and since they're tough, bad-assed characters, of course they face it with the resolve and resilience one would expect from these anti-heroes. Missing from the story are the usual odd characters, but to be honest, they've been missing since Captains Outrageous, which was so chock-full of them that maybe Lansdale was getting them all out of his system before moving on to more crime-noir stories.

What's significant about Briar Patch Boogie is that a full quarter of this ebook is taken up with an excerpt from Act of Love, Lansdale's first published novel. Dedicated Lansdale readers may not be that impressed with the story, since we already know his style and characters, and the story isn't anything new, but new readers should get a kick out of it. What makes a Lansdale story a Lansdale story, after all, is the voice.

Briar Patch Boogie is the perfect place for a reader new to Lansdale to begin. It introduces you to Hap and Leonard, and Lansdale's snappy dialogue, impeccable characterization skills, and fully realized settings. Even if the plot is a bit pedestrian, there's nothing else about this novelette that could be called so.

[Loren Toddy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great short story

Always a fun and fast paced read as you can never wait to reach the end of the book. Well worth your time. Lansdale always delivers.

[Ronald Koltnow · Rating 4 out of 5]

A pleasant surprise to wake up to is a new Hap and Leonard novella by Joe R. Lansdale. Our heroes go fishing but stumble onto something nasty. Suffice it to say that things get nastier. There is a touch of social criticism in this short thriller, as good Christians show their disapproval for life's takers, but I will say no more. Our heroic lads face tough challenges, in the form of psychos, mosquitoes, and the elements in a swampy wasteland. Once they start their Briar Patch Boogie, Hap and Leonard face the abyss, and spit in its eye.

[Ada Lavin · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun read

I had never read anything by Joe Lansdale before and saw this novella though this would be a good way to find out if I would enjoy his writing. Boy was glad I bought it. What a fun read! Hap and Leonard are two very completely laugh out loud characters. But when it comes time to catch the bad guys you sure want these two on your side. I will be moving on to read all of the Hap and Leonard books and all of any other books Joe Leonard writes. I wish all authors offered novellas so you could get a taste of their writing style before you buy a complete book.

[Clark Hallman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Briar Patch Boogie: A Hap and Leonard Novelette by Joe R. Lansdale – This novella is a quick and violet read, and I really mean violent. While on a fishing trip in a heavily forested area, Hap and Leonard witness a violent crime and they become captives of a pair of vicious bow hunters. However, Hap and Leonard are comfortable and skillful in the wilderness and they use their skills against their brutal captors. This is a compelling story of survival and retribution.