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Essais Series #2
Notes From a Feminist Killjoy: Essays on Everyday Life
Erin Wunker is a feminist killjoy, and she thinks you should be one, too.
Following in the tradition of Sara Ahmed (the originator of the concept of the "feminist killjoy"), Wunker brings memoir, theory, literary criticism, pop culture, and feminist thinking together in this collection of essays that take up Ahmed's project as a multi-faceted lens through which to read the world from a feminist point of view.
Neither totemic nor complete, the non-fiction essays that make up Notes from a Feminist Killjoy: Essays on Everyday Life attempt to think publicly about why we need feminism, and especially why we need the figure of the feminist killjoy, now. From the complicated practices of being a mother and a feminist, to building friendship amongst women as a community-building and -sustaining project, to writing that addresses rape culture from the Canadian context and beyond, Notes from a Feminist Killjoy: Essays on Everyday Life invites the reader into a conversation about gender, feminism, and living in our inequitable world.
Following in the tradition of Sara Ahmed (the originator of the concept of the "feminist killjoy"), Wunker brings memoir, theory, literary criticism, pop culture, and feminist thinking together in this collection of essays that take up Ahmed's project as a multi-faceted lens through which to read the world from a feminist point of view.
Neither totemic nor complete, the non-fiction essays that make up Notes from a Feminist Killjoy: Essays on Everyday Life attempt to think publicly about why we need feminism, and especially why we need the figure of the feminist killjoy, now. From the complicated practices of being a mother and a feminist, to building friendship amongst women as a community-building and -sustaining project, to writing that addresses rape culture from the Canadian context and beyond, Notes from a Feminist Killjoy: Essays on Everyday Life invites the reader into a conversation about gender, feminism, and living in our inequitable world.
216 pages, Hardcover
First published November 3, 2016
46 people are currently reading
1225 people want to read
About the author
Erin Wunker
12 books13 followersErin Wunker is an assistant professor (limited term) in the Department of English at Mount Allison University. She is the co-founder of the feminist academic blog Hook and Eye, and a member of the Board of Canadian Women in the Literary Arts.
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April 6, 2017
Rape culture is still a discussion we all should be having. People say and do things that are inappropriate and/or abusive that desensitize others in regards to violence towards women. Someone makes a rape "joke", people laugh, they feel emboldened, and pretty soon it's just okay for damaging remarks to be made with no concern for people who may be affected by those words, or for those some words or actions may be directed at. It's a problem, it's real, and it's worth discussing.
A feminist killjoy is, essentially, the person who speaks up. The one who says, "That's actually not funny, that's fucked up." The one who holds people accountable to their words and actions, reminding them that it's just not okay. From what I understand, this is a thought originally from Sara Ahmed, though I have not actually read anything by her yet, so I am only going by what little "research" (ie, Google) tells me.
Erin Wunker picks up from there and adds to the discourse. This is a little bit of essays, a little bit memoir, a little bit feminist literature. It's an interesting mix, but it often reads like random thoughts written on cocktail napkins which in and of itself isn't a problem. There are three distinct sections: Notes on Rape Culture; Notes on Friendships; and Notes on Feminist Mothering.
Strangely, the one that was least interesting was the section on rape culture. Because this is something we should be discussing, it's a topic that many women are writing about. It's not going to be easy for newer feminist writers to lend anything new to the discussion, though that's not to say their voices aren't welcome. For me, it's a little too much like a lot of other things I have read, but for someone who has never read anything along those lines before, this may be especially beneficial for them. This is also the section where there are a lot of disjointed thoughts, random thoughts, just thoughts sort of thrown in based on Wunker's experiences. In that sense, it comes across as a little too blog-y for my tastes. A little too new-philosophical - you know, a person who has thoughts and thinks no one has ever had these thoughts before, and therefore they should be written down. The kicker is these are not new thoughts, so did they exactly need to be shared? Mmm, not necessarily.
She talks about Emma Sulkowicz and her Mattress Performance (Carry That Weight), an important response to not just her rapist, but also the university they both attended for failing her as the victim. She talks, briefly, about experiences she had growing up, the way that we as women never fully feel safe in our own skin and undeniably have to think about where we go, when we go there, how we get there, and what we do when we're there. She reminds us that many women are raped not by strangers, but people we know and love. It's something that is still difficult for many to talk about, and legislation is still woefully behind on how to handle shit like that, because it's just so easy to be like "Yeah, but you know this person, so maybe you just misunderstood what happened?" I mean, really.
The part about friendships was a bit more interesting but I think that's also because I personally find that interesting. The relationships between women is something that I think about a lot because, well, I am a woman. I've been on all different sides of female friendships, and have even made comments that are just awful like "It's easier to be friends with men; women are just so catty." We're better than that. But we say these things, and it's not helpful. We forget that we can support and encourage each other. We are portrayed as being catty and competitive and then we live up to that portrayal. I'm saying (and Wunker is saying) that we don't fucking have to do that, that's just silly.
I didn't think the part about mothering would mean anything to me because I am not a mother, nor am I going to be. But it actually did touch me as I read about her experiences with deciding to become a mother, giving birth, and her desire and effort to make sure she raises her daughter to be the kind of woman we should all be. She recognizes there's a lot of shit in our society and our media that is not good for our young people growing up, and she wants to do better for her daughter by teaching and helping her grow. That's great, and I like to hear stories like that. I don't need anyone to aim their kids at me, but I do like hearing nice, quality, trying-to-do-right-by-the-children stories because I see and hear too much that just makes me sad most of the time.
Overall, though, this is just sort of a basic collection of writing. Again, doesn't offer much to the discourse, but doesn't hurt anything either. Wunker and I are almost exactly the same age, and while we've had different paths in life (and she's less enamored with Law & Order: SVU than I am - or that Roxane Gay is), but we have a lot of the same experiences too, just by when and how grew up. Her part on friendships talking about moving to a new state in the sixth grade and trying to maneuver the complex relationships of boys and girls at that age? I mean, she could have pulled that shit directly from my own journals. We probably would have gotten along smashingly at that age, actually. That is one fucked up time of our lives, for sure, and I feel bad for every young person who still has to go through it. Ugh. Hang in there, sister, for real. Hang in there.
But she also came around to feminism at a relatively late stage (in my opinion). She was working on her PhD before she started to really understand a lot of the problems, though I recognize we should be excited whenever anyone really comes around. But because she was working on her PhD before she really figured it out, and she's in her late 30s now, it seems like this is all a little too fresh and exciting for her whereas for a lot of us, again, we've been reading and learning and experience a lot of this for a lot longer. I'm glad she's on board, I think she has some good thoughts. But it's a little been-there-done-that at this point.
But I do like the message, mostly. Let's all be feminist killjoys. Call your people out. Don't let people say or do fucked up things. Look out for each other. Speak up. Don't turn a blind eye, a deaf ear, or your back.
A feminist killjoy is, essentially, the person who speaks up. The one who says, "That's actually not funny, that's fucked up." The one who holds people accountable to their words and actions, reminding them that it's just not okay. From what I understand, this is a thought originally from Sara Ahmed, though I have not actually read anything by her yet, so I am only going by what little "research" (ie, Google) tells me.
It occurs to me that a task of the feminist killjoy is killing the slippery, hazy vagaries that surround discussions of both rape and rape culture. The killjoy's job is to interrupt the habitual flows of patriarchal discourse, of rape and rape culture. This act of interruption - of interruptions as articulation - brings the spectre of gender-based and sexualized violence into focus, makes it harder to deny or justify. Naming that violence, articulating the conditions of its existence, and working to alter those conditions is the work of killing this so-called joy.
(p60)
Erin Wunker picks up from there and adds to the discourse. This is a little bit of essays, a little bit memoir, a little bit feminist literature. It's an interesting mix, but it often reads like random thoughts written on cocktail napkins which in and of itself isn't a problem. There are three distinct sections: Notes on Rape Culture; Notes on Friendships; and Notes on Feminist Mothering.
Strangely, the one that was least interesting was the section on rape culture. Because this is something we should be discussing, it's a topic that many women are writing about. It's not going to be easy for newer feminist writers to lend anything new to the discussion, though that's not to say their voices aren't welcome. For me, it's a little too much like a lot of other things I have read, but for someone who has never read anything along those lines before, this may be especially beneficial for them. This is also the section where there are a lot of disjointed thoughts, random thoughts, just thoughts sort of thrown in based on Wunker's experiences. In that sense, it comes across as a little too blog-y for my tastes. A little too new-philosophical - you know, a person who has thoughts and thinks no one has ever had these thoughts before, and therefore they should be written down. The kicker is these are not new thoughts, so did they exactly need to be shared? Mmm, not necessarily.
Smugness in one's own self-knowledge is often a signal that you don't know as much as you think you do.
(p35)
She talks about Emma Sulkowicz and her Mattress Performance (Carry That Weight), an important response to not just her rapist, but also the university they both attended for failing her as the victim. She talks, briefly, about experiences she had growing up, the way that we as women never fully feel safe in our own skin and undeniably have to think about where we go, when we go there, how we get there, and what we do when we're there. She reminds us that many women are raped not by strangers, but people we know and love. It's something that is still difficult for many to talk about, and legislation is still woefully behind on how to handle shit like that, because it's just so easy to be like "Yeah, but you know this person, so maybe you just misunderstood what happened?" I mean, really.
The part about friendships was a bit more interesting but I think that's also because I personally find that interesting. The relationships between women is something that I think about a lot because, well, I am a woman. I've been on all different sides of female friendships, and have even made comments that are just awful like "It's easier to be friends with men; women are just so catty." We're better than that. But we say these things, and it's not helpful. We forget that we can support and encourage each other. We are portrayed as being catty and competitive and then we live up to that portrayal. I'm saying (and Wunker is saying) that we don't fucking have to do that, that's just silly.
I didn't think the part about mothering would mean anything to me because I am not a mother, nor am I going to be. But it actually did touch me as I read about her experiences with deciding to become a mother, giving birth, and her desire and effort to make sure she raises her daughter to be the kind of woman we should all be. She recognizes there's a lot of shit in our society and our media that is not good for our young people growing up, and she wants to do better for her daughter by teaching and helping her grow. That's great, and I like to hear stories like that. I don't need anyone to aim their kids at me, but I do like hearing nice, quality, trying-to-do-right-by-the-children stories because I see and hear too much that just makes me sad most of the time.
Overall, though, this is just sort of a basic collection of writing. Again, doesn't offer much to the discourse, but doesn't hurt anything either. Wunker and I are almost exactly the same age, and while we've had different paths in life (and she's less enamored with Law & Order: SVU than I am - or that Roxane Gay is), but we have a lot of the same experiences too, just by when and how grew up. Her part on friendships talking about moving to a new state in the sixth grade and trying to maneuver the complex relationships of boys and girls at that age? I mean, she could have pulled that shit directly from my own journals. We probably would have gotten along smashingly at that age, actually. That is one fucked up time of our lives, for sure, and I feel bad for every young person who still has to go through it. Ugh. Hang in there, sister, for real. Hang in there.
But she also came around to feminism at a relatively late stage (in my opinion). She was working on her PhD before she started to really understand a lot of the problems, though I recognize we should be excited whenever anyone really comes around. But because she was working on her PhD before she really figured it out, and she's in her late 30s now, it seems like this is all a little too fresh and exciting for her whereas for a lot of us, again, we've been reading and learning and experience a lot of this for a lot longer. I'm glad she's on board, I think she has some good thoughts. But it's a little been-there-done-that at this point.
But I do like the message, mostly. Let's all be feminist killjoys. Call your people out. Don't let people say or do fucked up things. Look out for each other. Speak up. Don't turn a blind eye, a deaf ear, or your back.
August 29, 2018
Reread. A book I revisit often.
Look out for my interview with Erin in the Fall 2018 issue of GLASS BUFFALO.
Look out for my interview with Erin in the Fall 2018 issue of GLASS BUFFALO.
April 16, 2019
The best way to describe the book is that it is a wonderful series of messy meditations on what it means to be as Sara Ahmed calls it, a feminist killjoy. I am slowly reading Sara Ahmed’s "Living a Feminist Life" but am not done, so it was lovely to read this in the interim.
From its reflections on community vs friendship, the power of female friendships, books and writing as a form of relating with others, feminist mothering, productive vs righteous anger, the traces of affect/emotion on the body, rape culture and so much more, this book gave me lots to think about. What I loved most of all is that the book begins as framing itself as reflections for the author’s daughter, and it is the parts that speak most directly to trying to figure out what it means to be scholar/mother/partner/birth-giver/self that were some of the strongest sections for me.
From its reflections on community vs friendship, the power of female friendships, books and writing as a form of relating with others, feminist mothering, productive vs righteous anger, the traces of affect/emotion on the body, rape culture and so much more, this book gave me lots to think about. What I loved most of all is that the book begins as framing itself as reflections for the author’s daughter, and it is the parts that speak most directly to trying to figure out what it means to be scholar/mother/partner/birth-giver/self that were some of the strongest sections for me.
June 30, 2020
Wunker's partner introduced me to Sara Ahmed in a Dalhousie class with The Cultural Politics of Emotion, a text I fell in love with and have always gone back to with my own work. It was inspiring to see the thoughtful ways Wunker engages with Sara Ahmed. There is a passage about Wunker walking through campus with (but also not with) another young woman in an unspoken agreement of mutual protection that made me want to cry -- it reminded me of the strength of female bonds, and the beauty of unspoken support in situations of patriarchal anxiety.
May 30, 2017
A slim book, quite literally notes on three main topics: rape culture, female friendships, and feminist mothering. Wunker’s notes read like unfinished stream of consciousness observations, and as such might only be useful to Wunker herself, or perhaps to feminist theory-o-philes like me. Yet with definitions of lay(wo)men’s terms like patriarchy and rape culture throughout the book, it seems like the people who would most likely read an academic’s notes about feminism are not Wunker’s intended audience. Maybe the trouble is that the book can’t quite decide if it wants to be a guidebook, which is what Wunker writes was the original premise, or if it wants to be notes about feminism. There is nothing wrong with the ideas detailed in Wunker’s notes (I think the chapter about feminist mothering is the strongest), but I would have liked a more sustained analysis of any of the three topics that she chose to write about. I might also add as a criticism that Wunker draws heavily on Sara Ahmed’s theories of the feminist killjoy without really offering anything new. I don’t think this book is a reflection of Wunker’s capabilities; more likely the harried circumstances in which she was writing (new motherhood, temporary job, no childcare). I found this book to be lacking, but I still enjoyed reading it for the influences I gleaned of a woman trying to live a feminist life. Makes me excited to read Sara Ahmed’s new book, too.
This review can also be found on my blog: http://buriedwomenwriters.com/2017/04...
This review can also be found on my blog: http://buriedwomenwriters.com/2017/04...
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June 22, 2017http://rabble.ca/books/reviews/2016/1...
Review by Christina Turner
Today is December 6, the 27th anniversary of the Polytechnique Massacre.
In Notes from a Feminist Killjoy, her new book of essays on moving through the world in a gendered body, Erin Wunker expands on Nicole Brossard's idea that the Massacre was not committed by a "lone wolf." The Massacre -- and its remembrance -- is not just about "M.L. alone, with his anger and his gun," Wunker writes. "This is about the history of misogyny." December 6 is about the particularities of that day -- the murder of 14 women whose names we recite every year -- but it also fits into a much wider, and deeply ingrained, spectrum of violence.
If M.L's actions existed on a spectrum in 1989, then the events of 2016 -- from the Ghomeshi trial to Pulse to November 8 -- demonstrate that it remains firmly in place.
We needed feminism in 1989 when women were murdered for the very fact of taking up space and we need it now. Not necessarily the same feminism, but something that is still coming into being, intersectional, refining its methods, and yet avowed in its project to dismantle patriarchy.
Read more here: http://rabble.ca/books/reviews/2016/1...
Review by Christina Turner
Today is December 6, the 27th anniversary of the Polytechnique Massacre.
In Notes from a Feminist Killjoy, her new book of essays on moving through the world in a gendered body, Erin Wunker expands on Nicole Brossard's idea that the Massacre was not committed by a "lone wolf." The Massacre -- and its remembrance -- is not just about "M.L. alone, with his anger and his gun," Wunker writes. "This is about the history of misogyny." December 6 is about the particularities of that day -- the murder of 14 women whose names we recite every year -- but it also fits into a much wider, and deeply ingrained, spectrum of violence.
If M.L's actions existed on a spectrum in 1989, then the events of 2016 -- from the Ghomeshi trial to Pulse to November 8 -- demonstrate that it remains firmly in place.
We needed feminism in 1989 when women were murdered for the very fact of taking up space and we need it now. Not necessarily the same feminism, but something that is still coming into being, intersectional, refining its methods, and yet avowed in its project to dismantle patriarchy.
Read more here: http://rabble.ca/books/reviews/2016/1...
March 6, 2017
A very nice addition to my library. Thanks for the birthday present, Tack.
So what is it to be a feminist killjoy?
YES. THIS.
The strength of the book for me was its commentary on current events - Jian Ghomeshi, Emma Sulkowicz, the Stanford rapist. I also haven't done very much academic reading on feminism, so this filled in a bit of that gap for me. For those exact same reasons though, I don't think this would be a great book for a beginner. Wunker has an intentionally limited focus and she does get a little professor-y in tone.
So what is it to be a feminist killjoy?
"Patriarchy, as my dear friend and colleague R. wrote to me, is a joy (in the unironic sense of the word) that women and other Others do not experience. But as a white woman, white supremacy is a joy I do experience. I experience the 'joys' of white supremacy and white privilege in the way that men experience the 'joys' of patriarchy - in a state of blissful unconsciousness. What R. means is that I benefit from this 'joy' that needs killing, so I'm not forced to do the daily hard work of thinking through it, chafing against it, and resisting its attempts to delegitimize my life. ... Learn how you experience 'joys' that afford you comfort zones that others don't get."
YES. THIS.
The strength of the book for me was its commentary on current events - Jian Ghomeshi, Emma Sulkowicz, the Stanford rapist. I also haven't done very much academic reading on feminism, so this filled in a bit of that gap for me. For those exact same reasons though, I don't think this would be a great book for a beginner. Wunker has an intentionally limited focus and she does get a little professor-y in tone.
December 6, 2016
I technically reviewed this book for my job (a review will be appearing in Quill & Quire in October) so I can't say much here, but I loved this book too much not to recommend it and post something about it. It's up there with all of the great feminist essay collections that have been released in the past few years - Roxanne Gay's Bad Feminist comes to mind - and balances personal stories of misogyny with theory and more. Every member of a society in which gender dynamics and sexism are an issue (so, everyone) NEEDS to read this book. My copy is full of highlighted and underlined passages because there is so much important work here.
December 9, 2016
Should be required reading for everyone.
It's a great reminder for those who have a wealth of experience with feminism and feminist theory, a great introduction for those who do not.
It's a great reminder for those who have a wealth of experience with feminism and feminist theory, a great introduction for those who do not.
October 3, 2024
This is from 2016, so I forgive the use of “differently abled” instead of disabled. Language and its effects get unpacked and re-evaluated over time and I assume the public education system is more to blame in this regard. I grew up in a system that taught about “differently abled” people as well, often without the proper consultation of the disabled community most likely.
Outside of that, this is essential reading for killjoy feminists who want a detailed snapshot of what feminism was grappling with specifically in 2016. The moment feels captured with nuance and the shortcomings of what white, cisgendered, and heterosexual women are acknowledged. This is a great example of how as critical thinkers we need to look at every moment in a political movements history with a measured lens.
There’s been a lot of (necessary) discussion of the failures of feminism in the 2010s, but there was still parts of the movement that were moving in the right direction. For instance, I found I was taken aback by how aware Wunker was of TERFs and their dumbass rhetoric. And I was pleasantly surprised that Wunker didn’t just constantly quote Atwood at me (a huge pet peeve of mine with writers in CanLit), but Morrison and Angelou as well (amongst other BIPOC individuals).
Anyway all the above is to say, this book is worth your time. Especially if you want to get a specifically Canadian perspective of killjoy feminism.
Outside of that, this is essential reading for killjoy feminists who want a detailed snapshot of what feminism was grappling with specifically in 2016. The moment feels captured with nuance and the shortcomings of what white, cisgendered, and heterosexual women are acknowledged. This is a great example of how as critical thinkers we need to look at every moment in a political movements history with a measured lens.
There’s been a lot of (necessary) discussion of the failures of feminism in the 2010s, but there was still parts of the movement that were moving in the right direction. For instance, I found I was taken aback by how aware Wunker was of TERFs and their dumbass rhetoric. And I was pleasantly surprised that Wunker didn’t just constantly quote Atwood at me (a huge pet peeve of mine with writers in CanLit), but Morrison and Angelou as well (amongst other BIPOC individuals).
Anyway all the above is to say, this book is worth your time. Especially if you want to get a specifically Canadian perspective of killjoy feminism.
February 13, 2017
Excellent book. This will have women and women-identified people nodding their heads thinking, "me too". I do wish some of the language and references were a little more accessible to folks who may not have had the privilege of pursuing academia, hence the 4-star rating.
October 8, 2017
This book had a do-it-yourself ethos I found inspiring. Erin Wunker says she didn't think of herself as a writer and had to convince herself that her voice mattered and that she was able to contribute to the conversation on feminism. Much of the book is a response to Sara Ahmed's blog feministkilljoys. She writes loosely on 3 topics: rape culture, women's friendships and feminist mothering. The chapters are laced with her readings in and experiences of academia, as well as everyday life. I liked the Canadian and local references (to news stories and so on).
Many of the little interconnected notes made me think in ways I hadn't before. I had an a-ha moment when she said that women's friendships can often be uncomfortable because we judge the way other women navigate the world (and especially their relationships) and they, in turn, judge us. Instead of bonding through our attempts and failures, we often turn away from each other and retreat in shame. I can relate to that.
I was surprised by how long it took to return to the subject of mothering and how tentatively the author put forth her experiences. I'd summarize it as: the experience of mothering is different from the experience of parenting because of being in a woman's body: being aware of your body and how others view it, talk about it and co-opt it during pregnancy, breastfeeding and child-rearing (adoptive, foster and co-parenting moms notwithstanding, among others). I can see why she doesn't want to generalize. Early in the book, she says her woman-man-baby family is a queer family, but doesn't explain, and I wish she had - because queer parenting and feminist parenting overlap but are not identical, and I would have liked to hear about that.
I am much more accustomed to reading books of feminist essays of the Roxane Gay/Scaachi Koul type (i.e., traditional personal essays). "Notes" was a departure. Not a quick read because of the format, but the notes and musings let my thoughts expand more than they would have otherwise.
Many of the little interconnected notes made me think in ways I hadn't before. I had an a-ha moment when she said that women's friendships can often be uncomfortable because we judge the way other women navigate the world (and especially their relationships) and they, in turn, judge us. Instead of bonding through our attempts and failures, we often turn away from each other and retreat in shame. I can relate to that.
I was surprised by how long it took to return to the subject of mothering and how tentatively the author put forth her experiences. I'd summarize it as: the experience of mothering is different from the experience of parenting because of being in a woman's body: being aware of your body and how others view it, talk about it and co-opt it during pregnancy, breastfeeding and child-rearing (adoptive, foster and co-parenting moms notwithstanding, among others). I can see why she doesn't want to generalize. Early in the book, she says her woman-man-baby family is a queer family, but doesn't explain, and I wish she had - because queer parenting and feminist parenting overlap but are not identical, and I would have liked to hear about that.
I am much more accustomed to reading books of feminist essays of the Roxane Gay/Scaachi Koul type (i.e., traditional personal essays). "Notes" was a departure. Not a quick read because of the format, but the notes and musings let my thoughts expand more than they would have otherwise.
April 5, 2018
Given the topic and the fact that the author is an academician, I was expecting this book to be difficult to read. OK...there are a fair number of citings, but this book is truely notes from the author. Thoughts. Information. It is quite readable and digestable.
The book is broken into three parts: notes on rape culture, notes on female friendship, and notes on feminist motherhood. Uh... that last chapter... I know that I am going to skip it. Perhaps there I will miss a nugget of wisdom to pass along to a friend, but what is more annoying that a child-free friend offering parenting advice?
The book is broken into three parts: notes on rape culture, notes on female friendship, and notes on feminist motherhood. Uh... that last chapter... I know that I am going to skip it. Perhaps there I will miss a nugget of wisdom to pass along to a friend, but what is more annoying that a child-free friend offering parenting advice?
July 12, 2020
not groundbreaking... riffing off of Sara Ahmed, with some new interlocutors but I don't think it's necessarily generative in the way I'd like it to be.
October 23, 2023
On a l'impression de discuter avec l'auteure, d'être amie avec elle et de discuter autour d'un café. Un livre que je recommande.
June 12, 2017
Of the feminist memoirs, essays, etc. I've read this year, this does the best job of speaking about key issues using strong references and acknowledgements. Wunker takes up the ideas of other feminist writers and academics and applies them to core topics in an accessible way. She has some failures when it comes to disability, but these are minor. She doesn't try to cover too much, nor does it read like a white feminist trying to dictate her brand of pop-feminism to masses (like so many feminist texts/memoirs seem to be), or like a thoroughly privileged white woman presenting her experiences without acknowledgement of her privilege. Her approach is carefully intersectional and anti-oppressive while remaining rooted in her experiences, which I appreciated.
June 10, 2017
I read this book for a course, and am so thankful to the professor for assigning it. In it, Wunker offers a nuanced portrayal of the challenges and responsibility that come with being a feminist killjoy, and approaches these complexities with a surprising simplicity. A must-read.
April 17, 2018
Je suis assez partagé· quant à ce livre, il faut avouer que j'ai pris le livre parce que justement le résumé ne me donnait pas envie de le lire (et il faut savoir étendre ses horizons) et l'introduction de 47 pages (sur 200 en tout) s'éternisait et ne me donnait aucune envie non plus de poursuivre la lecture: on allait un peu dans tous les sens, ce n'était pas inintéressant, mais ce n'était pas non plus très nouveau (je connais déjà les références auxquelles elle fait allusion, de la feminist killjoy d'Ahmed aux essayistes et théories qu'elle convoque), beaucoup de fragments, beaucoup de directions et surtout, surtout, surtout beaucoup de digressions continuelles (qui se poursuivront dans le reste de l'essai). Ce n'est pas mon truc
Vient enfin le 1er chapitre sur la culture du viol qui change complètement mon avis du livre, je le trouve très intéressant, apporte de nouvelles réflexions, restant toutefois un essai très personnel. Le style ne m'intéresse toujours pas (encore une fois, complètement subjectif), mais j'ai bien aimé justement la réflexion.
La deuxième partie, sur les amitiés féminines, était moins intéressante intéressant pour moi puisque j'avais déjà lu pas mal sur le sujet (en gros: comment le patriarcat rend difficile l'amitié entre femmes puisqu'il les transforme en compétitrice et apprend à se méfier des autres femmes).
La dernière partie, sur la maternité, était encore une fois assez personnelle, elle compare le fait d'être féministe à être mère, trace des parallèles aussi avec les deux parties.
L'essai est aussi très très ancré dans le milieu académique, ce qui s'explique par le fait que l'auteure avoue avoir passée pas mal toute sa vie en son sein, mais le langage, les réflexions, etc. sont aussi très cantonnés à cette sphère.
Un dernier détail: le listage des privilèges qu'elle effectue était très maladroit, je ne suis pas fan du concept en général bien que je n'ai pas de problème du tout à la reconnaissance de nos privilèges, bien au contraire, mais ici, ça semblait un peu arrogant et c'est malheureusement un des effets de cette reconnaissance de privilèges, les personnes qui n'ont pas ceux-ci se sentent souvent lésés à les écouter et bien honnêtement, à part se situer (standpoint theory) dans un milieu, ce qu'elle fait à moitié, ça passe assez mal autrement. En fait, elle listait même des choses qui l'ont défavorisé qui apparaissent comme privilège (être en couple avec un homme) que je n'ai vraiment pas compris pour être honnête.
Un essai qui part définitivement des milieux académiques et qui malheureusement ne semble destiné qu'à un tel public aussi bien que la réflexion peut être appliquée plus largement.
Vient enfin le 1er chapitre sur la culture du viol qui change complètement mon avis du livre, je le trouve très intéressant, apporte de nouvelles réflexions, restant toutefois un essai très personnel. Le style ne m'intéresse toujours pas (encore une fois, complètement subjectif), mais j'ai bien aimé justement la réflexion.
La deuxième partie, sur les amitiés féminines, était moins intéressante intéressant pour moi puisque j'avais déjà lu pas mal sur le sujet (en gros: comment le patriarcat rend difficile l'amitié entre femmes puisqu'il les transforme en compétitrice et apprend à se méfier des autres femmes).
La dernière partie, sur la maternité, était encore une fois assez personnelle, elle compare le fait d'être féministe à être mère, trace des parallèles aussi avec les deux parties.
L'essai est aussi très très ancré dans le milieu académique, ce qui s'explique par le fait que l'auteure avoue avoir passée pas mal toute sa vie en son sein, mais le langage, les réflexions, etc. sont aussi très cantonnés à cette sphère.
Un dernier détail: le listage des privilèges qu'elle effectue était très maladroit, je ne suis pas fan du concept en général bien que je n'ai pas de problème du tout à la reconnaissance de nos privilèges, bien au contraire, mais ici, ça semblait un peu arrogant et c'est malheureusement un des effets de cette reconnaissance de privilèges, les personnes qui n'ont pas ceux-ci se sentent souvent lésés à les écouter et bien honnêtement, à part se situer (standpoint theory) dans un milieu, ce qu'elle fait à moitié, ça passe assez mal autrement. En fait, elle listait même des choses qui l'ont défavorisé qui apparaissent comme privilège (être en couple avec un homme) que je n'ai vraiment pas compris pour être honnête.
Un essai qui part définitivement des milieux académiques et qui malheureusement ne semble destiné qu'à un tel public aussi bien que la réflexion peut être appliquée plus largement.
August 25, 2017
I was not familiar with Erin Wunker before I decided that her collection of essays, Notes from a Feminist Killjoy, sounded interesting and possibly something I'd like to read. In looking her up on the Internet, I've learned that she is a feminist critic, author, and academic, having taught at Dalhousie University, where I was a student for one year, many years ago, and also at Acadia University - my alma mater.
I was won over by her preface, "Letter to My Daughter" in which she wrote:
"When I write about having a gendered body in the world, I think, now, about your tiny infant body. I think, now, about the only kind of prayer I utter with fervency: May you be comfortable in your body and know it is yours. If your body doesn’t fit you, may we find ways to make it yours. May your body only know pleasure and empowerment. May we give you the language to say yes, to say no. May the world be gentle with you. May you not lose that unselfconscious you-ness we hear from your crib when you wake up, singing. May you know the fierceness of strong friendships with women. May you be kind. May you feel held. May you write your own stories."
Yes, I thought, this is someone whose thoughts I want to know more of.
In her introduction, she says of this book:
"This book is a record of me trying to write about feminism at the interstices of critical and literary theory, pop culture, and feminist thinking. At the intersection of those methods and epistemological routes is me. I’m writing in the I. I’m inserting myself in a long and varied tradition of women and other marginalized people working from a situated position of knowledge. I’m also busting in on and turning over tables within the other long tradition of speaking subjects who use I without thinking twice about the privilege that entails. Me, I think twice, three, even four times about that privilege."
Reading this book, I ran across something on almost every page that made me want to share it with the world. That's rare. Some of those passages are definitional sorts of things, from her Introduction. Let me share a few of these with you, dear reader.
"Patriarchal culture is by definition a culture in which masculinity—in people and in things—is privileged as inherently foundational to other states of being. In a patriarchal culture, systems, institutions, and social interactions reinforce this hierarchy. When you live in a patriarchal culture, as in any culture, you begin learning its rules and regulations, as well as the way you fit into them, almost immediately. It’s important to note that patriarchal culture is not an equitable culture. It’s unfair for women and women-identified people, and it’s also unfair for men, though these unfairnesses are not the same, nor do all people experience them the same way. Like any culture or way of being, patriarchal culture appears to be inscrutable. It is so entrenched in our psyches and our ways of moving through the world that it seems impossible to change. "
"Feminist: one who recognizes that the material conditions of contemporary life are built on inequities of gender, race, and class. One who recognizes that patriarchal culture is inherently coercive and stifling for women and other Others. One who works to make those inequities visible and one who works to tear them down. One who recognizes the enormity of the task. One who keeps working."
"Intersectional feminism is a feminist methodology—a way of being, thinking, and moving through the world—that takes into account the multiple factors that shape an individual’s or a group’s lived experience. For example: if we take as a common denominator the category “woman” without an intersectional approach to feminism, we might be tempted to suggest that all women everywhere have certain shared experiences. And then let’s augment this claim with Hortense Spiller’s observation that when people talk about “women” in feminist circles, they usually means “white women.” 15 An intersectional approach, however, takes into account the ways in which different oppressive conditions—sexism, ableism, homophobia, racism, transphobia, classism and so on—are interconnected. We cannot talk about one system in utter isolation from another. The lived experience of a working-class white woman is not identical to the lived experience of an upper-class Black woman or a middle-class trans woman or a woman student who is paraplegic. As legal scholar Kimberlé Crenshaw points out, we would do well to employ an intersectional lens when looking at different systems of oppression. An intersectional feminist approach takes time and vigilance and practice. It requires that we attune our perceptions to more than our own experiences, thus opening the possibility—the necessity—of attending to the experiences of others."
These are, to me, clear and powerful explanations of some of the most basic, and most foundational and important ideas of feminist thought.
Following on the Introduction, which bears the perfectly apt subhead "Notes for You, Reading," and is an introduction, not just to the book, but to the kind of feminist thinking on which the book is based, Wunker includes three 'essais' - deliberately using the French to invoke the sense of attempts - from the perspective of a feminist 'killjoy' - one who seeks to kill the kinds of joy that take place in a patriarchal culture, that are grounded in the oppression of the Othered - on the topics of rape culture, friendship, and motherhood.
Her writing here is both deeply personal and deeply theoretical, and she cites and discourses on the work of many other women - often women of colour, and women from French-speaking Canada, something that I deeply appreciated, having seen too many books that quote only from the usual white American sources - with maybe a little something from bell hooks or Audre Lorde thrown in as a token non-white voice. And it was a welcome change to read feminist analysis situated in a Canadian perspective.
January 9, 2018
A friend recommended this book to me; Erin Wunker was one of their (favourite) professors, and they're right, her writing is excellent.
It's worth noting that this really is a series of notes--quick thoughts on a number of themes, linked together to form essays. I truly enjoyed reading them, thinking through them, and working on this stuff in my head. But even more, I love that Wunker's writing (and, my friend tells me, her teaching) serves as a constant springboard off onto your own thoughts. I won't share them here, as they're not germane, but this book didn't just convince me to follow Wunker's arguments--they let me bounce off into taking her notes farther, combining her experience and mine.
And that, to me, is the hallmark of great essays. Wunker pulls you along, then sends you off on your own.
It's worth noting that this really is a series of notes--quick thoughts on a number of themes, linked together to form essays. I truly enjoyed reading them, thinking through them, and working on this stuff in my head. But even more, I love that Wunker's writing (and, my friend tells me, her teaching) serves as a constant springboard off onto your own thoughts. I won't share them here, as they're not germane, but this book didn't just convince me to follow Wunker's arguments--they let me bounce off into taking her notes farther, combining her experience and mine.
And that, to me, is the hallmark of great essays. Wunker pulls you along, then sends you off on your own.
March 1, 2017
I wouldn't say that Notes from a Feminist Killjoy offers much novel thought on the topics of sexual assault or mothering, but Wunker does talk about important and challenging issues in an accessible manner. The part of the book that really drew me in, however, was her section of female friendships. She identifies a rather unfortunate problem in that women don't have fantastic role models for friendship. Women are often pitted against one another, encouraged to see each other as rivals rather than supports. This too, isn't necessarily new, but the focus on friendship was refreshing even though I wish she had pushed it a bit farther.
April 3, 2017
Everyone is talking about this book, so I picked it up, and, well, I see why. This is a stunningly well crafted little book. It's short, and tight in scope: basically three and a half essays on issues in contemporary feminism: on rape culture, on women's relationships with women, and on motherhood in light of feminism. On one level, just a collection of notes, but so carefully considered, so erudite, so eloquent. A little short book that is long on thoughtfulness. Highly recommended.
March 10, 2017
I saw myself echoing back to me several times in this book & it really made me want to read Sara Ahmed again. Erin gives you the feeling that you are not alone in this struggle to unlearn the toxic oppressive 'joys' that hold up this patriarchal world. She leaves space to imagine (hope, strategize for) a better future.
April 20, 2017
Enjoyed the style. Important subject matter. Well written. I liked the introduction the best. Thoughts on friendship were good but I felt like something was missing.
Not super up on my feminist theory, but throughly enjoyed.
Not super up on my feminist theory, but throughly enjoyed.
March 12, 2018
a book that feels like your best friend holding up a mirror to a bruise which aches deeply but which you can't see on your own, a gentle but steady guiding hand to examine the ways the world continues to hurt 'us'
written to be read instead of to confuse like some other critical texts
written to be read instead of to confuse like some other critical texts
February 7, 2017
Not very accessible for the non-academic.
"I mean it's Foucault, so come on."
"I mean it's Foucault, so come on."
February 15, 2017
Very, very good.
April 24, 2020
Enjoyment does not adequately describe how my time reading this book went.
The notes had everything I have felt and questions and was not at all preachy, statistical or a call for change. Instead it is one person explaining their relationship with being a cis-women and 3 feminist issues: rape, female friendships, and motherhood. Each essay smaller than the last, almost as if her experience with each is less.
Rape section scans from a child’s age, female friendships from movies of her 20s, and finally motherhood of her 30s.
The rape essays is the most moving. It Exemplifies the authors writing style it is in fact notes for the most part. Or long thought out passages. That is not to say it’s cropped or pasted together haphazardly. It’s very well thought out and wonderfully told. But a poor writer would have spent pages describing being followed by a car, or holding keys out of your knuckles just incase. The author trusts the reader to understand and bring forth their own shades of grey rape moments. And then uses that to explore the issue of rape culture.
It is certainly powerful and makes the reader question their own stance and experience. Along with more famous cases. It also showcases how that grey area can be manipulated by rape culture to make it seem like nothing or complicate it even more.
It is an absolutely fantastic book, that is deeply raw not only for the author but the read as well. It will make the reader exam their own identification. What was personal interesting to me was the female friendships shown in media. When I told my best friend she and I laughed because after 20 years we have never experienced the movie style frienemeze or fight over a loser boy that so many film display. It was interesting to learn why it is a popular trope
The notes had everything I have felt and questions and was not at all preachy, statistical or a call for change. Instead it is one person explaining their relationship with being a cis-women and 3 feminist issues: rape, female friendships, and motherhood. Each essay smaller than the last, almost as if her experience with each is less.
Rape section scans from a child’s age, female friendships from movies of her 20s, and finally motherhood of her 30s.
The rape essays is the most moving. It Exemplifies the authors writing style it is in fact notes for the most part. Or long thought out passages. That is not to say it’s cropped or pasted together haphazardly. It’s very well thought out and wonderfully told. But a poor writer would have spent pages describing being followed by a car, or holding keys out of your knuckles just incase. The author trusts the reader to understand and bring forth their own shades of grey rape moments. And then uses that to explore the issue of rape culture.
It is certainly powerful and makes the reader question their own stance and experience. Along with more famous cases. It also showcases how that grey area can be manipulated by rape culture to make it seem like nothing or complicate it even more.
It is an absolutely fantastic book, that is deeply raw not only for the author but the read as well. It will make the reader exam their own identification. What was personal interesting to me was the female friendships shown in media. When I told my best friend she and I laughed because after 20 years we have never experienced the movie style frienemeze or fight over a loser boy that so many film display. It was interesting to learn why it is a popular trope
March 29, 2021
Wunker’s book is an accessible glimpse into the intersection of feminist theory and lived experiences of a feminist life, namely Wunker’s. She writes with chilling clarity about a spate of experiences common to feminized people, including sexual harassment, intimidation, the belittling of one’s feelings or complaints, and more. These scenes stand out, but unfortunately I found her analysis to otherwise be somewhat lacking. I think this text would be great for those new to feminism or not equipped with much contemporary gender or feminist theory, but to those with some knowledge, it felt repetitive of fairly common talking points (note: this was published before #metoo, so perhaps it only seems that way because of what has followed.) One area that I found to be particularly wanting was the analysis of the fear of rape — despite her later efforts to think about how her body takes up space, not a lot of that work actually happens in the text, and this chapter might have done well to delve into the ways in which white women’s anxiety about rape has been exploited for white supremacist violence and the prison industry (and how white feminists have been wilfully complicit in this). As she suggests early on, this is mostly a collection of thoughts unmoored from much argumentation or new claims. That’s fine, but for those with more experience in feminist texts, I’d recommend just jumping right into the Sara Ahmed texts to which she makes frequent reference.
September 14, 2022
Hace rato que tenía este libro en mi biblioteca, me acuerdo que me lo compré porque me había llamado la atención el título y me gustaron los colores, como si el libro resonara conmigo. Desde entonces, estuvo esperando en mi estantería hasta que en uno de esos momentos “agarro mil libros y los dejo porque no me engancho con nada”, me lo llevé a la facu y me atrapó.
Algo que me gustó de este libro es que se adentra en la realidad de las mujeres sin recurrir a términos complicados que me he encontrado ya; es un libro muy amigable para lectores que recién empiezan a leer textos feministas. A pesar de eso, informa acerca de varias cosas que me parecieron bastante clave. Al abordar los distintos temas, los refuerza con anécdotas, ya sean propias o cosas que fueron pasando y que deberían darse a conocer, como la protesta de Emma Sulkowicz.
Siempre hay dos lados en una historia y, opte el que se opte por creer, siempre está bueno conocer los hechos. Había muchas cosas de las que no tenía ni idea. El término de “cultura de la violxxión” se me quedó muy grabado, y está bueno que se aborde desde distintos enfoques, no solo el primero que se nos viene a la cabeza.
Más allá de todo, es un libro que me motivó mucho. Por mi parte, escribo poesía, en su mayoría feminista, y el “¿a quién podría interesarle lo que escribo?” es algo que siempre está. Este libro me ayudó a entenderme un poquito mejor, y a entender acerca del por qué necesito escribir para poder transmitir.
Algo que me gustó de este libro es que se adentra en la realidad de las mujeres sin recurrir a términos complicados que me he encontrado ya; es un libro muy amigable para lectores que recién empiezan a leer textos feministas. A pesar de eso, informa acerca de varias cosas que me parecieron bastante clave. Al abordar los distintos temas, los refuerza con anécdotas, ya sean propias o cosas que fueron pasando y que deberían darse a conocer, como la protesta de Emma Sulkowicz.
Siempre hay dos lados en una historia y, opte el que se opte por creer, siempre está bueno conocer los hechos. Había muchas cosas de las que no tenía ni idea. El término de “cultura de la violxxión” se me quedó muy grabado, y está bueno que se aborde desde distintos enfoques, no solo el primero que se nos viene a la cabeza.
Más allá de todo, es un libro que me motivó mucho. Por mi parte, escribo poesía, en su mayoría feminista, y el “¿a quién podría interesarle lo que escribo?” es algo que siempre está. Este libro me ayudó a entenderme un poquito mejor, y a entender acerca del por qué necesito escribir para poder transmitir.
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