You Wouldn't Want to Be a Pirate's Prisoner!: Horrible Things You'd Rather Not Know

You Wouldn't Want to Be ...

by John Malam, David Antram (Illustrator)

Offers a humorous look at life as a captain of a Spanish treasure ship taken prisoner by pirates.

Genres: History, Nonfiction, Childrens, Picture Books, Pirates, School, Middle Grade

32 pages, Library Binding

First published March 1, 2002

About the author

John Malam is a British historian, archaeologist, and author of numerous children's non-fiction books. He attended the University of Birmingham.

Reviews

[Melki · Rating 4 out of 5]

Yar, me hearties, this book is indeed full of horrible things you'd probably rather not know . . . like all the ways you'll be tortured if the pirates capture you. You might be shackled to the deck, exposed to sun, wind, and rain, or dumped into the rat-infested hold, where stinking bilge water laps at your ankles, and you lose all track of time. Or, perhaps you'll be flogged with the cat-o'-nine-tails . . .


(Some thoughtful quartermasters tie fish hooks into the knots at the end.)

And, you definitely don't want to know about keelhauling . . .

This one's aimed at middle-grade readers, and up. I love this series, and how the writers don't shy away from history's more unsavory aspects. Be warned -there are some quite graphic descriptions, though the artwork is mostly bloodless.



Most of the kids I know seem to adore the gross stuff, so why not cram a bit of history down their tender throats as you indulge their baser instincts?

[Debbie W. · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are dozens of these books titled YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO ... that are quite informative for young readers. I preferred reading these aloud to 8- to 9-year olds, but most middle-school students could read these independently. The kiddos love the facts included with these books! I learned a lot about pirates from this book, and they were not always singing about bottles of rum!

[Sandi *~The Pirate Wench~*]

Well now....that depends on what my pirate captor looks like, and what he has in mind for me.
*blinks eyelashes*:D

[Charity · Rating 2 out of 5]

"Mom," my daughter said this afternoon, "I want you to read this pirate book you got for me. I don't think it's appropriate for children my age."

Reading the book, I felt irritated that it was written in the second person, but what my daughter thought was "inappropriate" were the detailed descriptions and cartoon-like drawings of methods of torture.

I checked out this book for her because it was in the recommended reading section of her history curriculum. I used to pre-read everything, but now that she's almost nine and because I'm just tired, I've been handing her things with little to no previewing.

And I must say, my technique is working swimmingly. There's no need to censor her reading because she's doing a fine job censoring it for herself. I just hope she has better luck than I'm having shaking the image of the cat-o'-nine-tails with bloody fish hooks tied to the tails.

[Andrew · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very intriguing and informational picture book! The cartoonish and exaggerated facial features characters really appeal to children in this popular series book. The illustrations are just great, they remind me of old school disney cartoons. Aside from the illustrations, this book is a fun adventure of a Spanish sailor traveling the ocean in hopes not to be intervened by pirates, who have been scavenging the waters for hundreds of years. The book has many side notes and information on things discussed in the book that children might not know. Overall, very good idea for a series of books, makes learning fun and exciting.

[Mary Miserandino · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book includes a blurb about the author's credentials, a table of contents, glossary and index. This book is a fun read, because it puts the reader into the story by referring to the reader as the captain of one of the ships who would like to avoid the pirates. It describes in great detail the cargo, how the ships would travel together to avoid pirates, and what happens when your ship is attacked by pirates. The pages include "Handy Hints" sections on what to do, such as removing your captain's clothes to disguise yourself as a crew member. The accompanying illustrations accentuate the text and amuse the reader. Some of the pictures and text are a little graphic for younger readers.

[Andrew · Rating 2 out of 5]

One of my less-favored of this series....While they briefly mention famous Historical pirates, they do take more of how pirates plundered and tortured prisoners, which is cool and slightly gross, BUT... this felt way more younger reader appropriate than the others have, like introduction to pirate torture 101, but geared for primary grades, versus secondary grade kids, but it was still a fun read.

[Andy Hickman · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Avoid Becoming a Pirates' Prisoner!: The Danger Zone”
****
English pirates haunt the Caribbean Sea in 1716. Spanish galleons are their target. (p5)
Privateers became pirates. (p8)
A sloop can easily outrun a galleon. (p10)
Cruel torture is used, including being 'keelhauled'. (p20)
- - - -

[Duane · Rating 4 out of 5]

I usually enjoy books from this series and this is no exception. Filled with great illustrations and interesting information, any reader should enjoy discovering the world of pirating and the people who experienced it from many different aspects.

[Jill · Rating 1 out of 5]

My husband picked out this book for the Children's Lit class I was in. It is a fun and factual book about real pirates. However it is very graphic and gory, not a book I would want my boys to get ideas from.

[William Bryant · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great, fun book that increases children's interest in history. When I was about 7 yrs old, I loved this book to death. This is a quirky history book that isn't too informative, but just enough to catch a kids interest.

[Anita · Rating 2 out of 5]

No, I wouldn't want to be a pirate's prisoner. Too much emphasis on torture and not enough focus on history.

[Joy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I couldn't put it down; both informative and monstrous.

[Kit · Rating 1 out of 5]

So it looks like a great read for an older kid, though I’m still not so sure. I had to start skipping pages when we got to the cat o nine tails.

[Emma · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wouldn't want to be a pirate either.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

A simple, easy to read book all about what would happen to you if you were a pirate's prisoner. In this book you are a captain of a galleon that falls behind the rest of the fleet and is raided. It talks all about the different methods they would go about to make you talk, all the way from putting you in barrels of gunpowder to starving you on deck.

Enjoy!

+8 and up

[Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

How do you read

[Ella · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVE these books! Found them in the school library and they are great! I wish there were more!

[Kelly Carey · Rating 3 out of 5]

The pirates that you watch in movies are just glamorized versions of the truth. This book offers a glimpse at the life of real pirates and how they tortured their prisoners.

[Timothy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like the humor in history it gives

[Acton · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an exciting book because it teaches you all about pirates.

[Karen]

watch out for some torture pictures and a pirate's head on a stick

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

4-12. rating 4 1/2