The Birth Partner

by Penny Simkin

Discusses the final weeks of pregnancy, the labor process, comfort measures, medical technology, complications, medication, cesareans, postpartum, and breastfeeding.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Health, Family, Reference, Self Help, Science

337 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1989

Reviews

[Jacob Hedlund · Rating 1 out of 5]

If you get this book, I highly recommend getting the 4th version or earlier. I had the unpleasant experience of reading the 5th version and it is so soaked in politically correct jargon, it makes it a little hard to read.

The authors refuse to use the term "mother" to describe the human being that is giving birth to the baby. I am not joking. They refer to her as "birthing person", "laboring person" or even "lactating person". Once again, I am not joking. This is seriously how this book is written.

It not only makes the sentences awkward and hard to read, but it is also very offensive to every mother everywhere. Motherhood is a beautiful thing and it is diminished by this language. I am not sure who they are trying not to offend by making the language extremely confusing. But I am sure that they they are offending a much larger portion of the population by doing this.

[Grace Wursthorn · Rating 1 out of 5]

If you write an entire book on pregnancy, delivery, and birth, yet you never mention the word “woman” then you have completely missed the mark.

A woman’s body is specifically made to create and sustain life.

If you ignore this fact—no matter how many scientific facts and information you provide—you’re doing a disservice to and undervaluing women.

Ladies, we should be humbled and empowered by the gift God has uniquely given us to create and sustain life. The more I read about pregnancy, delivery, and the resulting babies I am in awe of God.

Recently, a friend commented on seeing a premature baby born into the world at 28 weeks. She said, “I saw those teeny tiny fingers and how perfect and beautifully woven they were. How could I not see God?”

Next time you pick up a book on birth… maybe choose one that will actually acknowledge the woman and the awe inspiring process of a life being brought into the world.

***I read the 5th edition of this book***

[lov2laf · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a really fantastic resource for any person in a supportive role to a pregnant woman.

The book goes into explicit but easily digestible detail of pregnancy, different types of labor, the types of support one can offer in labor, what you'll encounter in a home birth vs a hospital birth, basic baby care after the birth, and caring for the mother throughout the entire process.

It also covers the different styles of birth from home births to hospitals and natural labor to different medications that can be used. The tone of the book is really open and doesn't push any agenda of which way is better over another. Instead, pros and cons are laid out for each, and the book is really educational so that the mother and partner can make informed decisions. It's very pro-mother and its theme is that the mother's choices are the right choices for her.

As a co-mother, I found the book to be inclusive of different support partners, as well.

The book also offers a ton of resources with a number of links to videos, references to websites and other books.

It's really a must-have read.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book on childbirth. She is pro-natural childbirth and I think it shows, but she gives a fairly unbiased view of medical interventions and their pros and cons. Would recommend this to anyone having a baby, borrowed it from the library but I think this is going to be one to own! George will definitely be reading.

[Brian Schafer · Rating 2 out of 5]

Get the 4th edition

The info is valid and helpful, but the dancing around the words “mother” and “woman” and “her” is distracting. Get the 4th edition if you want a straightforward read.

[Joseph · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't say strongly enough how indispensable this book is to both partners and mothers. After and with Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth, for me this is the book to read if you're going to be involved in a birth. It has played about the same role for me that the Boy Scout Handbook did when I started camping. Life is easier if you know the taut line hitch; same with the techniques and info in this book.

[Brahm · Rating 5 out of 5]

The overall tone of this book was extremely reassuring, even while discussing possible complications and things not going as planned.

What I enjoyed most: each section of the book (covering a different stage of birth) talked about what the person giving birth might be feeling, and what the birth partner (i.e. me) might be feeling. These were total spectrums, from abject panic to a flood of excitement. This was informed by the co-authors' experience as doulas (not any more-stale clinical data), and I think was most useful for me to hear.

In addition to the content being polished and well-organized, the authors adopted gender- and role-neutral language in this 5th edition. "Mother and father" are replaced with "person giving birth and birth partner" or "pregnant person and co-parent". This took just a page or two to get used to, but I think was a terrific choice. In addition to making the book much more accessible to people who are in the LGBTQ community, unloading gender and parenting roles from a book about *birth* helps the reader focus on the *birth* and not all the obligations that come after that. (Discussed with Robyn while typing and she agreed: "I'm reading another book that uses the term 'birthing mother' instead of 'birthing person' and it gives me a lot more anxiety. I have to be a mother after this!?")

One detail I found very funny and also extremely useful was a high number of unsubtle hints addressed to the reader/birth partner to BRING A TOOTHBRUSH and keep their breath in check 😂

[William · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the better books I've read for dads. It focuses on concrete information instead making inane jokes and treating men as beer-guzzling lug heads.

[Carmen Frugé · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a good, practical book for expecting mothers and spouses. It was easy to read. I recommend the 3rd edition over the newest (5th I think) because I saw that in the newer edition, the wording of “mother” is changed to “birthing person” to be more inclusive and it cumbersome to read. Not to mention ridiculous.

[Torey · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the first book I've read that is specifically geared towards the labor support person. I found the author very pro-birth, pro-momma, and extremely helpful in advice giving for natural deliveries. She gives straight forward advice, as well as risks/benefits of medical interventions.

I have worked as labor and delivery nurse for 5 yrs and a Childbirth Educator for 3. I think this book would be an excellent addition to the labor and delivery nurse orientation at hospitals. Basic descriptions of laboring positions and reasoning behind them. I found this book a fantastic resource and look forward to implementing some of the material into my Childbirth Classes!

[Jessica Sarchet · Rating 1 out of 5]

LATEST EDITION REVIW: This book was a shocking disappointment in the full sense of the word. I was assigned this book to read as part of a formal educations in birth work. not only was this book hard to decipher with its backwards and counterproductive language (ie. birthing person, chest feeding...) I was wholly disheartened and offset by the encouragement of this narrative that WOMAN are being shoved toward. Birth is a unique process that is only for those with the anatomy to do so- that is what defines us a woman. that can not be argued or changed.

[Natalie Ripchick · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read about half of the 3rd edition to see if it would be a good resource for my husband to prepare him for the birth of our first child. This book has great information and would otherwise be a 4 or 5 star, but my husband is more of an audiobook guy and I realized the only edition available on audio is the 5th— which replaces the word “mother“ with “birthing person”, so I guess I’ll be finding another resource for him that actually refers to me as the mother of his child 👎🏼

[Reader · Rating 1 out of 5]

In the updated 5th edition of this book, the coauthor, Katie Rohs “championed the use of gender-neutral language…”. This language was very distracting, and took away from the material. I have NEVER written a goodreads review on a book, but here I am. I’m off to find the fourth edition. I hear it doesn’t have all the PC BS.

[Bill · Rating 3 out of 5]

The start ratings for these "getting ready to birth a human" books is kind of silly. For those interested, a few quick thoughts on this book though.

What I enjoyed about this book was that it did a pretty good job of giving lots of details on what to expect during the birth. It also seemed to have lots of additional information for people who have non-standard birth plans (home births, etc.) Those sections did not apply to my partner and I, so I cannot speak as to how helpful they were.

The biggest thing I disliked about this book was a pervasive tone that indicated a severe distrust of the medical establishment. Lots of the sections would disparage medical practices or even warn that your provider may try to railroad you away from what the book viewed as "good" choices. Even granting that I have not been through the process of having a child, and thus the book may be correct in many areas, I did not think that taking such an antagonistic tone was very helpful in instilling the mindset that I'm guessing most parents will need to get through a birth.

[Ryan · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ultimately, this was the least helpful of the references I had on hand for navigating a first pregnancy with my wife, despite the promise of the title. The "PC" language of the fifth edition was also incredibly distracting; an example of what not to do.

[Alec Longstreth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well, I read this (excellent) book cover to cover. With its knowledge firmly in place, I guess I'm about as ready as I'll ever be for the forthcoming birth of my daughter!

[Robyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

EVERYTHING you ever might want to know about the days leading up to labour, the labour process, and the first few postpartum weeks. This was recommended by a friend and also our doula. While it's technically written towards the audience of the partner of the person giving birth I found it incredibly comprehensive and useful as the person who will be giving birth as well.

While it doesn't beat around the bush about encouraging one to only use medically necessary interventions, it doesn't have a judgey tone and is really more about informing you about the risks and benefits of various interventions so you can make decisions and a birth plan from an educated place rather than in the moment or just deferring to the doctor or nurse's recommendations (but definitely emphasizes there are situations that may come up where you do just need to defer to the caregiver's recommendations).

Would recommend to anyone giving birth and their partner, including if it's a second/third etc birth but you didn't feel super informed going into the first one. I definitely feel more confident about making decisions for my birth plan after reading this book.

Also this book made me SO relieved that we hired a doula as there's no way we could remember everything we might want to from this book, but gives me great peace of mind that we'll have someone with us during labour and delivery who essentially has all this info memorized!

[Kate Bouwers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely had to speed read this one for school but it was enjoyable! Hopefully will go back and dive into it better someday

[Sarah Koppelkam]

Very helpful if you, like me, are going to be attending a birth soon (?!?). I appreciated the birth-positive tone throughout, as well as the updated language in this edition to be more gender-neutral (though I wish there were more anecdotes from LGBTQ+ couples). Overall, a super important resource with clear, easy to follow reference sections for things you might want to refer to during labor.

[Bill Bookworm · Rating 4 out of 5]

I did some skimming in some of the extremely detailed parts but overall helpful reference book #famulus

This is my 100th book read on Goodreads!

[Allison Wolff · Rating 5 out of 5]

A terrific resource for soon-to-be dads, or anyone assisting at a birth. It's comprehensive enough to be helpful to the pregnant woman, as well, making it a great book to read together. It leans toward promoting unmedicated birth, but is balanced overall.

Notice the use of the phrase "pregnant woman" - I got my hands on a 4th edition (aka the pre-"laboring person" edition) of this book at a thrift store so the sex of the person carrying the pregnancy was, thankfully, affirmed throughout.

[Kirstin · Rating 5 out of 5]

THE best labour and childbirth book I've read to date. While this one is very much for the support person, not the labouring mother, I think mothers, father, doulas, grandmothers-planning-on-being-at-the birth, and labour and delivery nurses would all benefit from reading.

I particularly appreciated the very balanced perspective Simpkin takes on "natural" birth versus medicated birth versus planned induction or c-section. I think she comes as close as anyone could to presenting an unbiased perspective.

The only bias that she clearly presents is arguing fully in favour of a labouring mother having the assistance of a doula. She argues that labours are easier, shorter, more manageable and both mother and father feel more empowered with the assistance of a doula.

And having been both the recipient and giver of doula-like assistance (though not DONA-trained) I can concur that there certainly is a place for doulas in the delivery room (or home, in the case of a homebirth).

[Sean Bohnet · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good book for dad‘s who want to wrap their mind around the many details of childbirth. The fifth edition is almost unbearable to read or listen to as they replace “mother” and “woman” with “birthing person.” There’s also a surprise word swap in the ending chapters too.

[Gabbie Kline · Rating 5 out of 5]

Doula check

[Mary Feeney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ready for my Doula training! 🥰

[bird]

okay, i only read a third of this, and i feel i cannot rate it sensibly, because for me personally it was abandoned at two stars (i got stressed thinking i'd have to remember all of it when i could feel it overstuffing my brain; i started imagining situations in which i would have to determine like, what breathing patterns to lead my wife in when as her Breath Leader (tm), which positions would work best for causing changes in the pelvic basin, how do i know if she needs changes in the pelvic basin, maybe i'll have to RUPTURE HER MEMBRANES????? and then to be honest also imagining myself trying to juggle this mentally to discern whether i thought the actual medical provider was doing their job right or if i should, as at a dance, CUT IN)

BUT i think it would be terrific if actual medical providers read this, maybe all obgyns, midwives, delivery nurses, doulas, things of that nature, and for them, i must award five stars, because the breadth of detail and attention is absolutely, as you may have guessed, massive. i feel like you could read this in lieu of going to med school and assuming you have good knowledge retention probably i'd trust you more.

then again, i've only read a third of it, so it could go rapidly downhill. however, every boomer and and gen-xer i know who had like, a home birth, or a Blissful birth, told me urgently to read it, so i think it's probably consistent throughout.

[Nick Lanzetta · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very informative book about supporting someone through the birthing process. While most baby books focus on the person giving birth, this one focused on the father's or supporting person's role. I liked how the book walks through the entire birth process from start to finish and clearly states what the birthing person will be doing/feeling, what the caretakers will be doing, and what the birth partner can do to help during each stage. There were tons of helpful tips that I will be implementing when my wife gives birth within the next month or so. This book definitely helped ease some of my anxieties about the birthing process and I'd definitely recommend it to anyone first-time fathers.

[A B C · Rating 5 out of 5]

Actually fire

[Hannah Stevens · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful info for doulas/dads - and me. 10 weeks to gooooo

[Taylor Insley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ready as I'll ever be! SOS