✰ 4.25 stars ✰
“How many people ever get a do-over at life?”
Reading books by Gordon Korman was a big part of my teenage years, so to be able to still enjoy his books like Restart in my thirties feels humbling. He never fails to amaze me with his exceptional way of capturing so incredibly the mind of a teenager. Thirteen-year-old Chase Ambrose was a hard-core bully - he had his cronies, Bear and Adam terrorized the middle school students, especially one kid in particular, Joel, a piano prodigy. When a misguided prank aimed at him goes terribly wrong, the three of them are sentenced to many months of community service. During that time, Chase has an accident, where he falls off the roof of his house - only to wake up and realize his memory has been completely erased - with absolutely no recollection whatsoever of the kind of horrible person he was before...
Told through the eyes of many different students' POV, Gordon Korman shined once again as a brilliant author. Never once was I unnerved by the shift in kids' perspective - the shift in tone and personality eased seamlessly from once character to another. How he blended all the characters together - how he built up the tension and conflict revolving around Chase and the atrocities he had committed - both past and present. I very much enjoyed Chase as a narrator - how he felt such shame and guilt when brief bouts of his memory would resurface in his mind - how he wanted to be a better person than he was before.
“As I run, hot tears of shame are streaming down my face. Since my accident, I’ve heard a lot about the person I used to be. Never did I imagine this.
Gordon Korman always has such a way of capturing the teen mind and heart so authentically - I loved seeing all the different characters' reactions to Chase's sudden shift from - forgive the euphemism - 'asshole to angel' after his accident. How his so-called 'friends' couldn't believe his sudden shift in behavior - friendships turning sour, as Chase's eyes were suddenly opened to what horrible bullies they were - and who he had been. I loved how Chase tried so hard to be a better person, even when at times he still felt that feeling of his past self creeping up on him.
“It’s no problem escaping Aaron and Bear. But I’ll never be able to get away from myself.”
How he would remember the thrill of how capable a football player he was, when he joined the team again - when he would pass a student down the hall and a flash of fear would cross their eyes, and he'd lower his head in shame. There were so many major improvements in his life - both personally and emotionally - that I couldn't help but feel proud at how hard he was trying to be better. That, somehow, the good side of him always existed, he just never let it come out, because he never gave himself the chance to do so. 😔😔
“And believe it or not, right now, I’m more scared of Joel than he ever was of me. Because if I see that fear in his face again, I don’t know if I can handle it.”
There was such a great cast of supporting characters, all with their own individual personalities that brought so much to the story - seeing each situation from their eyes, their reactions and mixed feelings about Chase's transformation was very well captured. While I did enjoy reading Shoshanna and Brendan's thoughts, it was Joel, the boy he victimized the most, that really was the favorite for me. How he grew as a character - how he slowly let down his fear around Chase - allowed a bout of acceptance and forgiveness to steadily enter his life - seeing how much Chase was trying so hard to be better - to change from the person he once was - really warmed my heart. ❤️🩹 ❤️🩹 And even though he unwittingly got himself caught in the crossfires of Chase and his bullies again, it was his strength and resilience and belief in himself that he wouldn't hide in shame or allow his bullies to best him was such an impactful scene.
“And here I am, alive, undamaged—well, except my eye. I’ve been victimized, but I don’t have to let that define me as a victim. I’m back—back at home and back to myself.”
I do feel that the ending was resolved a little too easily and conveniently, but it did work out well for everyone - especially Chase, so I'm not complaining too much. I did admire how Gordon Korman allowed Chase to admit that there hadn't been a complete 180 in his personality - that he won't deny that there's a chance that his past self might still come out. But, to see him come to terms with himself - to man up for his actions and hold himself accountable for it - to win the hearts of others and earn their forgiveness - to see them soften their views about him and see that the possibility of change was so very worth it.
For, it was the trust he had earned with his new group of friends, the people who had seen the change in him, how he was able to win the hearts of so many - that they believed in the possibility that he could be a better person - that was enough to convince me and everyone involved that Chase did deserve to restart his life in a healthy and happier way. 🙏🏻🙏🏻