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Disappear Doppelgänger Disappear
Finalist for the PEN/Faulkner Award for Fiction.
From the bestselling author of The Hundred-Year Flood comes an incredibly entertaining and profoundly affecting tour de force about a Korean American man’s strange and ordinary attempts to exist.
Matt Kim is always tired. He keeps passing out. His cat is dead. His wife and daughter have left him. He’s estranged from his adoptive family. People bump into him on the street as if he isn’t there.
He is pretty sure he’s disappearing. His girlfriend, Yumi, is less convinced. But then she runs into someone who looks exactly like her, and her doppelgänger turns out to have dated someone who looks exactly like Matt. Except the other Matt was superior in every way. He was clever, successful, generous, and beloved—until one day he suddenly and completely vanished without warning. How can Matt Kim protect his existence when a better version of him wasn’t able to? Or is his worse life a reason for his survival?
Set in a troubling time in which a presidential candidate is endorsed by the KKK and white men in red hats stalk Harvard Square, Disappear Doppelgänger Disappear is a haunting and frighteningly funny novel about Asian American stereotypes, the desires that make us human, puns, and what happens to the self when you have to become someone else to be seen.
From the bestselling author of The Hundred-Year Flood comes an incredibly entertaining and profoundly affecting tour de force about a Korean American man’s strange and ordinary attempts to exist.
Matt Kim is always tired. He keeps passing out. His cat is dead. His wife and daughter have left him. He’s estranged from his adoptive family. People bump into him on the street as if he isn’t there.
He is pretty sure he’s disappearing. His girlfriend, Yumi, is less convinced. But then she runs into someone who looks exactly like her, and her doppelgänger turns out to have dated someone who looks exactly like Matt. Except the other Matt was superior in every way. He was clever, successful, generous, and beloved—until one day he suddenly and completely vanished without warning. How can Matt Kim protect his existence when a better version of him wasn’t able to? Or is his worse life a reason for his survival?
Set in a troubling time in which a presidential candidate is endorsed by the KKK and white men in red hats stalk Harvard Square, Disappear Doppelgänger Disappear is a haunting and frighteningly funny novel about Asian American stereotypes, the desires that make us human, puns, and what happens to the self when you have to become someone else to be seen.
317 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 11, 2020
77 people are currently reading
3773 people want to read
About the author
Matthew Salesses
22 books528 followersBestselling author of The Hundred-Year Flood and Disappear Doppelgänger Disappear, among other books. Craft in the Real World comes out Jan, 2021. I’m adopted.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 81 reviews
December 2, 2019
I mean, who is even going to read this book?
January 5, 2020
Smart, heartbreaking, incisive, and absolutely hilarious all at the same time. For anyone who has ever felt they've spent their life straddling two worlds as if they were two people while simultaneously feeling like they're unseen by the majority of society. I found myself thinking a lot about the space my body and my consciousness and the person I am occupies in this world, and what I believed about the change I could effect in my life. I loved the uncanny nature of the doppelgangers, a mystery that never quite gets revealed (bc that's not the point!). This is a revelatory book that is thick with ideas, set in today's fraught political climate and heavy with losses, and it does so with gravitas, ingenuity and humor. (I laughed a lot while reading this book.) Loved it.
February 10, 2021
OK this one demands your attention. I was on top of everything during the first third when Matt Kim feels like he's disappearing. But I took my eye off the ball and slowly started to lose the thread. Is this about the invisibility of being an Asian-American male, the unmoored sentiment of being raised a Korean adoptee or maybe it's a multiverse imagining of what your life might have been if you were born and raised in Korea. That there is a you out there that hasn't had to wrestle with minor feelings, being sidelined and othered and has flourished as a result. Maybe?
I lost the thread and Matthew wasn't throwing me a line. Instead I'm left with this weird collection of malapropisms that are part literary dad joke, existential pun and Konglish mangling of Western idioms. Nothing to fear but fear myself and two can play at that shame now live inside my head rent free.
I lost the thread and Matthew wasn't throwing me a line. Instead I'm left with this weird collection of malapropisms that are part literary dad joke, existential pun and Konglish mangling of Western idioms. Nothing to fear but fear myself and two can play at that shame now live inside my head rent free.
September 21, 2020
This book was too strange for me. Supposedly it is about the invisibility of Asian Americans and the stereotypes applied to them. I will have to take other people’s word for that, because I couldn’t make it past the 20% point. I really disliked the writing style. “I hadn’t disappeared yet, which meant I was still disappearing, which meant my appearance depended on doing nothing to change my appearance.” If you want to read a great book covering those same themes, try “Interior Chinatown” by Charles Hu. I also suggest that you ignore all of the five star reviews that this book as gotten from other authors.
I received a free copy of this book from the publisher
I received a free copy of this book from the publisher
dnf
November 2, 2022I could not get into this book at all. I had hoped for light and funny about a doppelgänger, but ended up with a bizarre, relatively poorly written farce of a novel. I admit to finding it so abysmal that I only got about a quarter of the way through it before throwing up my hands (my own hands of course) and just giving up. It was neither cute, nor original, nor funny, nor readable. I don't know what people appreciate about this book because its ratings were surprisingly high for something this poor IMO. DNF.
July 16, 2020
This book, you guys. So smart and surprising and innovative and daring, it took my breath away. Read it, please.
August 12, 2020
Existentialism updated for the 21st century
This is the rare book that pulls you along by making you think deeply in addition to making you care about the characters and their struggles.
Matt Kim, the novel's protagonist, has been disappearing. Or at least he thinks so. On top of that, he's not seen his young daughter in years, partly because he doesn't want his weirdness to make her weird. Or something. On top of that, he's adopted and has lost both sets of his parents. More on that below.
With its narrator's probing but sometimes absurd questions on the nature of existence and reality, DISAPPEAR, DOPPELGANGER, DISAPPEAR brought me back to the world of Jean Paul Sartre's novel, NAUSEA, which I read as a teenager. Other literary echos I heard were Kafka (the surrealism of The State) and Dostoevsky (the concept of The Double), and because of the humor that's threaded through the book, I couldn't help wondering if the author was delivering these riffs with a bit of a smirk. I laughed hilariously at many points in the novel.
Throughout history, adopted people have been the subject of stories, especially heroic stories. In this novel, the doppelganger motif adds another layer to the traditional tale of the adopted outsider who challenges the status quo. Matt Kim was one person with his first parents, who immigrated to the U.S. from Korea, and then became his own doppelganger when adopted by a set of white parents at age twelve. Some of the most affecting passages in the book are those where Matt Kim recalls his fear of not being adopted, and then of not being kept, and how he enacts a new self to stay safe. If one can create a new self, it starts to make sense that the self can be disappeared. And, it makes sense that one's double can exist in the same world, simultaneously. And doubling complicates everything.
Highly recommend this book, especially for readers who enjoy surrealism and suspense.
Many thanks to Net Galley for providing an advanced review copy.
This is the rare book that pulls you along by making you think deeply in addition to making you care about the characters and their struggles.
Matt Kim, the novel's protagonist, has been disappearing. Or at least he thinks so. On top of that, he's not seen his young daughter in years, partly because he doesn't want his weirdness to make her weird. Or something. On top of that, he's adopted and has lost both sets of his parents. More on that below.
With its narrator's probing but sometimes absurd questions on the nature of existence and reality, DISAPPEAR, DOPPELGANGER, DISAPPEAR brought me back to the world of Jean Paul Sartre's novel, NAUSEA, which I read as a teenager. Other literary echos I heard were Kafka (the surrealism of The State) and Dostoevsky (the concept of The Double), and because of the humor that's threaded through the book, I couldn't help wondering if the author was delivering these riffs with a bit of a smirk. I laughed hilariously at many points in the novel.
Throughout history, adopted people have been the subject of stories, especially heroic stories. In this novel, the doppelganger motif adds another layer to the traditional tale of the adopted outsider who challenges the status quo. Matt Kim was one person with his first parents, who immigrated to the U.S. from Korea, and then became his own doppelganger when adopted by a set of white parents at age twelve. Some of the most affecting passages in the book are those where Matt Kim recalls his fear of not being adopted, and then of not being kept, and how he enacts a new self to stay safe. If one can create a new self, it starts to make sense that the self can be disappeared. And, it makes sense that one's double can exist in the same world, simultaneously. And doubling complicates everything.
Highly recommend this book, especially for readers who enjoy surrealism and suspense.
Many thanks to Net Galley for providing an advanced review copy.
April 7, 2021
What an odd book. There are twists and turns, a turning into oneself and turning out of oneself.
This book reminds me of the movie, "Chan is Missing."
This book is a metaphor largely...about how Asian Americans are disappeared, made invisible (and timely given anti-Asian violence during the Covid-19 pandemic).
At the very beginning of the book, the author lists various historical events where there was an attempt to make Asians in America disappear. This includes racist laws (Chinese Exclusion Act) and racist events (Japanese American internment during WWII).
I felt impatient while reading this book. I didn't want to see the various tangents and peculiar digressions (were they tangents and digressions?). Yet, I dragged out reading this book or skipped various sections....to contract or expand the reading experience. I felt unsettled. My sense of disorder must have reflected or been influenced by the main character's feelings and actions.
Anyway, I read this book because he's won some significant nomination (or award) and because I read his excellent book about writing as a craft.
This book reminds me of the movie, "Chan is Missing."
This book is a metaphor largely...about how Asian Americans are disappeared, made invisible (and timely given anti-Asian violence during the Covid-19 pandemic).
At the very beginning of the book, the author lists various historical events where there was an attempt to make Asians in America disappear. This includes racist laws (Chinese Exclusion Act) and racist events (Japanese American internment during WWII).
I felt impatient while reading this book. I didn't want to see the various tangents and peculiar digressions (were they tangents and digressions?). Yet, I dragged out reading this book or skipped various sections....to contract or expand the reading experience. I felt unsettled. My sense of disorder must have reflected or been influenced by the main character's feelings and actions.
Anyway, I read this book because he's won some significant nomination (or award) and because I read his excellent book about writing as a craft.
dnfed
September 3, 2020Thanks to NetGalley and Little A for providing an ARC!
__________________________
I won't rate this book as I DNFed it... but I'll explain why I did it.
First, from the first page, I knew the writing-style was not for me. It's not bad, it's even really good, but not my style at all.
Then, there is all the Doppelgänger part of the story: I wasn't expecting this at all. It was strange, but not my kind of strange. I felt I was struggling through each page, it wasn't enjoyable, and I didn't want to force myself to finish this book and resent it for that.
One thing I disliked though:
Maybe I'll try to get back to this book later. But, really, I just don't think it's made for me, or me for it.
__________________________
I won't rate this book as I DNFed it... but I'll explain why I did it.
First, from the first page, I knew the writing-style was not for me. It's not bad, it's even really good, but not my style at all.
Then, there is all the Doppelgänger part of the story: I wasn't expecting this at all. It was strange, but not my kind of strange. I felt I was struggling through each page, it wasn't enjoyable, and I didn't want to force myself to finish this book and resent it for that.
One thing I disliked though:
Maybe I'll try to get back to this book later. But, really, I just don't think it's made for me, or me for it.
November 12, 2020
I don't know what was happening in this book 80% of the time. It's like a Stefan sketch. This book has everything: jelly between walls, dopplegangers (one of them is x.x), self-insertion, all-purple preteens, defenestration, exasperated exes, post-it notes above the bed, fraternal-twin apartments, fear of ceiling fans, detectable chins, and Schrodinger's toy boxes metaphorical to parental love (?). I kind of maybe sometimes enjoyed it, but I have to admit the Asian American stereotype eluded me most of the time. Maybe I'm not smart enough for this book, or maybe the "it" of the novel is just not meant to be captured. Either way, I read this book. It was a weird one. Matthew Salesses is a strange person.
September 3, 2021
“You want what you don’t have. I wanted the other Matt’s life.”
The “other Matt” in question is NOT Matt Kim, a man who feels he’s disappearing after being left by his wife and daughter and becoming estranged from his adoptive family. He questions his life decisions and can’t figure out why or how his recently deceased cat is meowing at him through the ceiling. No, “the other Matt” aka “the better Matt,” is his doppelgänger from a parallel universe.
Disappear Doppelgänger Disappear took me a while to appreciate (translation: I started it on April 13 and finished it on August 31). I kept putting it down and reading other books around it. Then it got really good, to the point where now I want to read it again. Lesson: pick up books that challenge you as a reader and as a person — and stick with them.
A third “Matt” needs recognition here. Author Matthew Salesses covers a lot of ground in this bizarre tale: relationships, family, identity, loss, life choices, and the unsteady social standing of Asians in America. Pretty heavy stuff, but there are light moments as well. The book defies categorization, but suffice to say it’s relevant and deserves a wide readership.
I gave it four stars but the more I think about it, the more I want to add another.
The “other Matt” in question is NOT Matt Kim, a man who feels he’s disappearing after being left by his wife and daughter and becoming estranged from his adoptive family. He questions his life decisions and can’t figure out why or how his recently deceased cat is meowing at him through the ceiling. No, “the other Matt” aka “the better Matt,” is his doppelgänger from a parallel universe.
Disappear Doppelgänger Disappear took me a while to appreciate (translation: I started it on April 13 and finished it on August 31). I kept putting it down and reading other books around it. Then it got really good, to the point where now I want to read it again. Lesson: pick up books that challenge you as a reader and as a person — and stick with them.
A third “Matt” needs recognition here. Author Matthew Salesses covers a lot of ground in this bizarre tale: relationships, family, identity, loss, life choices, and the unsteady social standing of Asians in America. Pretty heavy stuff, but there are light moments as well. The book defies categorization, but suffice to say it’s relevant and deserves a wide readership.
I gave it four stars but the more I think about it, the more I want to add another.
August 21, 2023
I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. Thank you NetGalley!
Wow, I really enjoyed this book.
We meet our MC Matt Kim whom is struggling with feelings of inadequacy and if he's "disappearing."
The unique storyline here is that doppelgangers of himself and his girlfriend exist. He's jealous of his doppelganger. He thinks the doppelganger is more successful and all around better than he is.
This book wont' be everyone. There are some twists here, some.. interesting and unique "imagery" as well. The plot is insaney interesting, and you'll have plenty to think about as you read this book.
Wow, I really enjoyed this book.
We meet our MC Matt Kim whom is struggling with feelings of inadequacy and if he's "disappearing."
The unique storyline here is that doppelgangers of himself and his girlfriend exist. He's jealous of his doppelganger. He thinks the doppelganger is more successful and all around better than he is.
This book wont' be everyone. There are some twists here, some.. interesting and unique "imagery" as well. The plot is insaney interesting, and you'll have plenty to think about as you read this book.
August 18, 2021
When I first came across this title, I wanted to know more. I thought this would be a fun sci fi or magical realism but this turned out to be more than that! I was pleasantly surprised by its depth and layers. This is a book that I would definitely reread and recommend others as well!
August 29, 2020
Words to describe this book: mind-bending, identity-crisis inducing (but, like, in a fun way), pun-filled.
Reading it made me feel present in the storytelling. Even without the meta-references to the protagonist’s world that seems eerily similar to the one we’re living in now, I caught myself questioning WWOMD? in my own life situations.
Reading it made me feel present in the storytelling. Even without the meta-references to the protagonist’s world that seems eerily similar to the one we’re living in now, I caught myself questioning WWOMD? in my own life situations.
January 5, 2021
It took me an absurdly lengthy amount of time to read this book; I've picked it up and put it down a dozen times. It was complicated. My sincere apologies to Little A Publishing and the author for the tardiness of the review. Thanks to Little A and Netgalley for providing this ARC in exchange for an unbiased review.
Disappear Doppelgänger Disappear is complex and multilayered. It reminds me of one of my favourite movies, Inception, where one falls through one layer and discovers another one and another one until all sense of reality and identity and surroundings are shattered.
First level: disappearing adopted Korean man in the United States left by his wife and daughter discovers there is another 'better' more 'successful ' (loaded words) copy of him out there. His current girlfriend Yumi also has a doppelgänger.
My thoughts with the first 20%: this is obviously going to be about the metaphorical invisibility and emasculization of Asian males in the West. This Matt Kim is written as the typical apathetic melancholic Eeyorish Asian guy figure, like in Murakami novels where strange things happen. Reading this is like wading through treacle made with tears. The writing's awkward, especially this passage about the place in between walls. Maybe a DNF.
In between level: Catherine Chung has endorsed the book. Oh look, there's another upcoming book by the same author on Netgalley non-fiction about how craft of writing norms were established by white male authors and we need to interrogate and reimagine storytelling, plot, content - both readers and writers.
My reaction: Part of the reason why I dislike the apathetic Asian character is that it wrongly gives the stereotype of Asians being the submissive, law-abiding robotic model minority. I want to read and meet rabble-rousing, rule-breaking, creative, eye-catching leading Asians. But if Matthew Salesses is calling attention to this, then perhaps he is being subversive. Let's read on.
Next level: Attention to the toxic white dudebro culture and the wider surreal fractures in the American mosaic. WM/AF couples featured with the white male being domineering. ICE raids, MAHA (not a typo) red hats, BLM march, white dudes with rifles in groups. Oppressed minorities. Matt Kim's Korean parents died because they were trying to assimilate. How to raise a biracial kid in this world? In connection to...
Another level non-linear: Adoption ("How did the word adoption become so unironic"), foster kids in crates. Matt Kim's Korean parents died when he was young (then he was adopted by white Catholic parents) but Matt Chung's Korean parents who look exactly alike are alive but aged. This is likely what Korean adoptees often contemplate: what if I had grown up within my Korean family, would I be more confident and rooted, less lost?
(How many times can you hear “Go back to your country” before you lose your sense of country?)
Many unique aspects of Korean culture: the belief that sleeping with fans on will kill, Arirang, folktale of Hong Gildong, Hangul characters, exercise books with boxes to practice characters. Quantum physics including Schrodinger's cat, a dog-cat hybrid and multiverses are evoked to explore parallel possibilities. The author's name makes a cameo but he's a nerdy white guy in the novel. Who are the disappeared, the murdered, the silenced and who are the aggressors? Meta is an understatement.
How to break out of this multi-existence conundrum and quandary? Kill the versions of one self? Hop worlds? Matthew Salessess writes a few mind twisters (in an aptly titled chapter 'Who killed Vincent Chin?') such as
Our resistance is our respect for existence. To know how we disappear is to know how to recognize each other. To know how to recognize each other’s disappearance is to know how to appear.
We are always there, in a present without presence. We desire presence because we live in a world in which we never know what the present means. To look for presence is to stand in a perspective of absence.
Having recently finished Minor Feelings: An Asian American Reckoning, it dovetailed nicely into the points Mr Salesses makes:
To be Asian American is to risk a superposition, not one or zero but a set of probabilities under varied circumstances. It is to refuse dichotomy. It is to resist what’s essentially a colonial separation: one world into two.
Then reading the acknowledgement section, all rational thoughts of a critically objective review flees.
Disappear Doppelgänger Disappear is complex and multilayered. It reminds me of one of my favourite movies, Inception, where one falls through one layer and discovers another one and another one until all sense of reality and identity and surroundings are shattered.
First level: disappearing adopted Korean man in the United States left by his wife and daughter discovers there is another 'better' more 'successful ' (loaded words) copy of him out there. His current girlfriend Yumi also has a doppelgänger.
My thoughts with the first 20%: this is obviously going to be about the metaphorical invisibility and emasculization of Asian males in the West. This Matt Kim is written as the typical apathetic melancholic Eeyorish Asian guy figure, like in Murakami novels where strange things happen. Reading this is like wading through treacle made with tears. The writing's awkward, especially this passage about the place in between walls. Maybe a DNF.
In between level: Catherine Chung has endorsed the book. Oh look, there's another upcoming book by the same author on Netgalley non-fiction about how craft of writing norms were established by white male authors and we need to interrogate and reimagine storytelling, plot, content - both readers and writers.
My reaction: Part of the reason why I dislike the apathetic Asian character is that it wrongly gives the stereotype of Asians being the submissive, law-abiding robotic model minority. I want to read and meet rabble-rousing, rule-breaking, creative, eye-catching leading Asians. But if Matthew Salesses is calling attention to this, then perhaps he is being subversive. Let's read on.
Next level: Attention to the toxic white dudebro culture and the wider surreal fractures in the American mosaic. WM/AF couples featured with the white male being domineering. ICE raids, MAHA (not a typo) red hats, BLM march, white dudes with rifles in groups. Oppressed minorities. Matt Kim's Korean parents died because they were trying to assimilate. How to raise a biracial kid in this world? In connection to...
Another level non-linear: Adoption ("How did the word adoption become so unironic"), foster kids in crates. Matt Kim's Korean parents died when he was young (then he was adopted by white Catholic parents) but Matt Chung's Korean parents who look exactly alike are alive but aged. This is likely what Korean adoptees often contemplate: what if I had grown up within my Korean family, would I be more confident and rooted, less lost?
(How many times can you hear “Go back to your country” before you lose your sense of country?)
Many unique aspects of Korean culture: the belief that sleeping with fans on will kill, Arirang, folktale of Hong Gildong, Hangul characters, exercise books with boxes to practice characters. Quantum physics including Schrodinger's cat, a dog-cat hybrid and multiverses are evoked to explore parallel possibilities. The author's name makes a cameo but he's a nerdy white guy in the novel. Who are the disappeared, the murdered, the silenced and who are the aggressors? Meta is an understatement.
How to break out of this multi-existence conundrum and quandary? Kill the versions of one self? Hop worlds? Matthew Salessess writes a few mind twisters (in an aptly titled chapter 'Who killed Vincent Chin?') such as
Our resistance is our respect for existence. To know how we disappear is to know how to recognize each other. To know how to recognize each other’s disappearance is to know how to appear.
We are always there, in a present without presence. We desire presence because we live in a world in which we never know what the present means. To look for presence is to stand in a perspective of absence.
Having recently finished Minor Feelings: An Asian American Reckoning, it dovetailed nicely into the points Mr Salesses makes:
To be Asian American is to risk a superposition, not one or zero but a set of probabilities under varied circumstances. It is to refuse dichotomy. It is to resist what’s essentially a colonial separation: one world into two.
Then reading the acknowledgement section, all rational thoughts of a critically objective review flees.
March 30, 2021
The author masterfully weaves humor and stark reality into a surrealist fabric. With his disappearing doppelgänger, Salesses deftly symbolizes the struggle for identity within a society that vilifies "the other" at the same time pretending it does not exist, all the while using English as both his suit of armor and his sword. A brilliant read.
Read
January 10, 2021Interview @ Ploughshares:
https://blog.pshares.org/racism-makes...
https://blog.pshares.org/racism-makes...
July 2, 2021
I was really excited to read this based on the description, but this was a miss for me. ): it was hard to follow along with and the story jumped around randomly.
December 24, 2021
3 por enquanto… acho que pode crescer em mim e virar um 3,5
August 29, 2020
How to even describe the reading of this book? Salesses simultaneously made me quake with the beauty of language and thought and peer deeper into its meaninglessness, its less meaning-ness, more meanness. If you read this book, you'll find yourself staring at you, or your dopplegänger, in the mirror, and bandying words about in your, or your dopplegänger's, review. What a book, what an act, what a writer.
Read
November 8, 2020I think I understood this book more before I started to read it. The blurb makes it sound almost straightforward - I mean, potentially a somewhat fantastical story, but still, something that reads like a regular novel. In reality, this book is like listening to your friend narrate this one weird dream they had, at novel length.
If you're thinking, "I hate it when people describe their weird dreams - it's a dream, so things just happen without making logical sense, and people suddenly do stuff and go to places with apparently no motivation, and the whole thing is unsatisfying because it's just your brain generating random ideas and connections and there's no overall point to it" then ... yeah. If you like books - even fantastical books - with a solid plot, this is NOT the book for you.
It is saved by the writing. I enjoyed Salesses' writing style; some of the lines made me laugh out loud, and some were impressively cutting and observant (even if it did feel like they'd kind of been written first and dropped into the novel later). And it's not fair to say it had no point. I mean, it was about being non-white (specifically Asian, specifically of Korean descent) in America, the current political climate in the US, being adopted, being a husband and father ... it was about a lot of big things. But sometimes I felt like I only knew it was about those things because they got mentioned a lot. The overall impression was that I wasn't quite smart or literary enough to totally understand what the book was getting at.
If you're thinking, "I hate it when people describe their weird dreams - it's a dream, so things just happen without making logical sense, and people suddenly do stuff and go to places with apparently no motivation, and the whole thing is unsatisfying because it's just your brain generating random ideas and connections and there's no overall point to it" then ... yeah. If you like books - even fantastical books - with a solid plot, this is NOT the book for you.
It is saved by the writing. I enjoyed Salesses' writing style; some of the lines made me laugh out loud, and some were impressively cutting and observant (even if it did feel like they'd kind of been written first and dropped into the novel later). And it's not fair to say it had no point. I mean, it was about being non-white (specifically Asian, specifically of Korean descent) in America, the current political climate in the US, being adopted, being a husband and father ... it was about a lot of big things. But sometimes I felt like I only knew it was about those things because they got mentioned a lot. The overall impression was that I wasn't quite smart or literary enough to totally understand what the book was getting at.
May 2, 2021
I had to write this just before I started the final chapter because I was getting so fed up and annoyed during my reading that I needed a break. Ended up writing my review.
I was really looking forward to reading this after somehow stumbling upon Matthew on twitter and virtually attending an interview he did, he seemed like a really interesting writer, and there were certainly parts in this book that I enjoyed, but the back half of the book is legitimately one of the most baffling, frustrating (not in a good way), confusing messes I've read in a long long long time. It was truly a chore to read, and I felt like my time was being wasted. I rarely feel that way even if I'm not enjoying something too much, but this one just took it to another level. It was so meandering and illogical and super annoying because the premise and the first quarter to a half were actually pretty good. The idea of doppelgangers and Asian Americans is so full of wonderful possibilities, but this just chugged out a bunch of dull repetitive junk. Since there is not too many Asian American books out there, it added to my negative feelings about the book wondering how the hell did this one get published and get some press? Such a disappointing experience. Are Matthew's other books like this or was he just trying something new? I still think he seems like a cool guy even if I didn't like this one.
So many freaking mentions of that damn stuffed doll.
I was really looking forward to reading this after somehow stumbling upon Matthew on twitter and virtually attending an interview he did, he seemed like a really interesting writer, and there were certainly parts in this book that I enjoyed, but the back half of the book is legitimately one of the most baffling, frustrating (not in a good way), confusing messes I've read in a long long long time. It was truly a chore to read, and I felt like my time was being wasted. I rarely feel that way even if I'm not enjoying something too much, but this one just took it to another level. It was so meandering and illogical and super annoying because the premise and the first quarter to a half were actually pretty good. The idea of doppelgangers and Asian Americans is so full of wonderful possibilities, but this just chugged out a bunch of dull repetitive junk. Since there is not too many Asian American books out there, it added to my negative feelings about the book wondering how the hell did this one get published and get some press? Such a disappointing experience. Are Matthew's other books like this or was he just trying something new? I still think he seems like a cool guy even if I didn't like this one.
So many freaking mentions of that damn stuffed doll.
June 30, 2021
Narrator was annoying, especially with his strange ass choices, ways of thinking, and usage of words, but that was the point to his character I guess, of a dude descending into madness trying to adjust in his life after some huge changes.
I just don't fully understand and the novel was overall a strange read that I didn't enjoy and forced myself to read to the very last word. Nothing felt... whole I guess? Maybe my dumbass is missing something here but the novel felt like it was all over the place.
I read some of the reviews for the book and some stuff started clicking like the correlation between invisibility and Asian Americans in modern-day society and but it was still difficult to get through the novel in my own experience. If there's one thing that I got out of this novel, it's that I should definitely do more research on Asian American issues in the United States, being an Asian American myself.
Overall though, combining all of these other themes did not make a very nice soup for me. :/
I just don't fully understand and the novel was overall a strange read that I didn't enjoy and forced myself to read to the very last word. Nothing felt... whole I guess? Maybe my dumbass is missing something here but the novel felt like it was all over the place.
I read some of the reviews for the book and some stuff started clicking like the correlation between invisibility and Asian Americans in modern-day society and but it was still difficult to get through the novel in my own experience. If there's one thing that I got out of this novel, it's that I should definitely do more research on Asian American issues in the United States, being an Asian American myself.
Overall though, combining all of these other themes did not make a very nice soup for me. :/
March 14, 2020
I like surreal books. This book definitely is surreal and introspective. 1/5th of the way in I had to stop. None of the characters seemed anything but pathetic. Like watching the Debbie Downer sketches on Saturday Night Live except all the characters were downers. Without empathizing with the people in the book, I lost interest. Hopefully other readers will report differently. The idea and the story was compelling. Adding in the element of adoption also added an element of the human condition that made the story very interesting at several layers. I simply wasn’t interested in the main character or others he encountered. Prove me wrong, please. I liked the idea! I received this ARC from NetGalley.com in exchange for an honest review. I chose the book because it was interesting and would likely have purchased it.
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April 17, 2020This book and its narrator were so strange, I felt a bit unmoored while reading it—I had no idea what was going to happen from moment to moment. Yet throughout, I was drawn in, and I found myself connecting with things about this narrator even as I was confused, even repulsed by him. The feeling throughout of being aware of racism that other people can’t see was so familiar. In some ways, reading this book was similar to a feeling I have after reading a poem, where I can’t explain the poem or tell you what it meant, but it nevertheless leaves me feeling a lot of profound emotions, emotions that I can’t fully articulate.
April 14, 2021
It was a pleasure to read a book where no matter how hard I tried to guess what might happen next I was surprised. Very smart and funny. In addition to just being a good and inventive story, there is a lot to think about re: the self becoming selves, particularly in relation to adoption, race, and immigration.
August 11, 2020
Loved this book! It’s smart, imaginative, and hilarious.
January 11, 2023
This book was quite a ride. And I wasn't sure it was one I wanted to go on. At the beginning, we start seeing the strange thoughts and actions of the main character. And it's hard to tell what is really going on - is the man going crazy? Is something sinister happening? Is something metaphysical happening? He was really hard to relate to because of that. Sometimes books like that make it hard for me to keep reading - I want to feel a connection to the characters. But somehow this didn't lose me. I wanted to see where it was going, even though I was afraid I would never catch on to what was happening.
There are also two women characters, Yumi and Sandra, who also sometimes have a questionable level of sanity. But when they meet and become friends, well, I would have read a lot more of that section. Sandra's post it notes everywhere, labelling every item in her room and exploring so many of her thought processes were fascinating. Then there is the story of Matt's daughter Charlotte, ex-wife Jenny and her new boyfriend. Again, I had a hard time ascribing motivations to their actions. I thought they should make more sense to me then the possibly crazy narrator. Jenny's may have made more sense than Charlotte's often did (though hers are sometimes written off as 'teenage stuff', which did not line up for me - her dad seemed crazy and I couldn't see what their relationship had truly looked like before the divorce and when he had gone off the rails so to speak). Matt's actions are even harder to understand and I cringed at his behaviors and statements (like dealing with his upstairs neighbor, or his relationships with the women in his life), even while his thoughts varied between sensible and wild. I also found his constant misuse or malapropisms of common words or phrases confusing, because you could see how his new phrase also made some form of sense, but it wasn't clear if he was doing that on purpose or not.
The story just gets crazier from there. And while the author doesn't explain a lot in depth (how did the doppelgängers happen? How can they move between multiverses?), by the end I felt more like I was following the thread (or the yellow yarn, as it appears in this story - which is also not explained). But I still didn't grasp the whole of the story. I might need to read up on some analysis and see what I missed - some reviews here think it's genius and some couldn't get through the first section. I could see where some themes were repeated, but I don't think many of them came through for me. This is why the book is only 3 star for me. Some books I immediately start researching ideas from the book that intrigued me or looking up author interviews etc. This one - it has crossed my mind to do it, but I'm more interested in setting it aside now and picking up the next book on my list.
There are also two women characters, Yumi and Sandra, who also sometimes have a questionable level of sanity. But when they meet and become friends, well, I would have read a lot more of that section. Sandra's post it notes everywhere, labelling every item in her room and exploring so many of her thought processes were fascinating. Then there is the story of Matt's daughter Charlotte, ex-wife Jenny and her new boyfriend. Again, I had a hard time ascribing motivations to their actions. I thought they should make more sense to me then the possibly crazy narrator. Jenny's may have made more sense than Charlotte's often did (though hers are sometimes written off as 'teenage stuff', which did not line up for me - her dad seemed crazy and I couldn't see what their relationship had truly looked like before the divorce and when he had gone off the rails so to speak). Matt's actions are even harder to understand and I cringed at his behaviors and statements (like dealing with his upstairs neighbor, or his relationships with the women in his life), even while his thoughts varied between sensible and wild. I also found his constant misuse or malapropisms of common words or phrases confusing, because you could see how his new phrase also made some form of sense, but it wasn't clear if he was doing that on purpose or not.
The story just gets crazier from there. And while the author doesn't explain a lot in depth (how did the doppelgängers happen? How can they move between multiverses?), by the end I felt more like I was following the thread (or the yellow yarn, as it appears in this story - which is also not explained). But I still didn't grasp the whole of the story. I might need to read up on some analysis and see what I missed - some reviews here think it's genius and some couldn't get through the first section. I could see where some themes were repeated, but I don't think many of them came through for me. This is why the book is only 3 star for me. Some books I immediately start researching ideas from the book that intrigued me or looking up author interviews etc. This one - it has crossed my mind to do it, but I'm more interested in setting it aside now and picking up the next book on my list.
March 30, 2020
Disappear Doppelgänger Disappear by Matt Salesses
Invisibility is a social issue that doesn’t get the attention it deserves. It affects many segments of the population, but some groups bear more of the burden of being unseen than others. Disappear Doppelganger Disappear, begins with an abbreviated list of disappearances…governmentally sanctioned limits on immigration, particularly affecting Asian immigration. Author Matthew Salesses addresses this burden through character Matt Kim, who has lost his parents, family, and quickly losing all sense of himself. As a Korean American adopted child, Matt seeks connection. He’s divorced and estranged from his daughter and seems to be willing to do anything to reestablish connections. Like the character in his own novel: “He was at an age of dwindling options: Each choice he made limited the choices he had left.”
Then there are the doppelgängers written as separate characters. There is the “Matt” who is everything Matt thinks he’d have liked to have been, but this Matt has been murdered. The girlfriend, who changes her name, though the original Matt sees this change as the creation of another doppelganger. The story reinforces the premise that in order to communicate, there must be a “share[d] belief in imaginary things: nations, limited liability corporations, money, gender, race.” It isn’t clear what these characters believe in, but clearly, this author understands the nuances of humor.
This book is not for the person looking for an easy read. It is hard to keep track of the many Matts, (including the one named for the author.) The magical elements, which let Matt travel through space and time (though only between two locations and times,) are interesting and unforgettable, but difficult as well, taking the form of cracks in walls, yellow yarn and bubbles. It is in the existential questions where the universal appeal resides, and it goes beyond a plea for male Asian adoptees/immigrants to be seen.
“In this one and only world, messy and circumstantial and shared, nothing is completely free from its opposite. You are not only who you are, but who you are not.”
This is an important book for the times in which we live, and probably, for any time. Crises change, but the need for human connection and living authentically never disappear, even when we want them to.
Recommended to anyone looking for deeper meaning in fiction.
I read and advanced readers copy of Disappear Doppelgänger Disappear provided by NetGalley. The book will be released on August 11, 2020.
Invisibility is a social issue that doesn’t get the attention it deserves. It affects many segments of the population, but some groups bear more of the burden of being unseen than others. Disappear Doppelganger Disappear, begins with an abbreviated list of disappearances…governmentally sanctioned limits on immigration, particularly affecting Asian immigration. Author Matthew Salesses addresses this burden through character Matt Kim, who has lost his parents, family, and quickly losing all sense of himself. As a Korean American adopted child, Matt seeks connection. He’s divorced and estranged from his daughter and seems to be willing to do anything to reestablish connections. Like the character in his own novel: “He was at an age of dwindling options: Each choice he made limited the choices he had left.”
Then there are the doppelgängers written as separate characters. There is the “Matt” who is everything Matt thinks he’d have liked to have been, but this Matt has been murdered. The girlfriend, who changes her name, though the original Matt sees this change as the creation of another doppelganger. The story reinforces the premise that in order to communicate, there must be a “share[d] belief in imaginary things: nations, limited liability corporations, money, gender, race.” It isn’t clear what these characters believe in, but clearly, this author understands the nuances of humor.
This book is not for the person looking for an easy read. It is hard to keep track of the many Matts, (including the one named for the author.) The magical elements, which let Matt travel through space and time (though only between two locations and times,) are interesting and unforgettable, but difficult as well, taking the form of cracks in walls, yellow yarn and bubbles. It is in the existential questions where the universal appeal resides, and it goes beyond a plea for male Asian adoptees/immigrants to be seen.
“In this one and only world, messy and circumstantial and shared, nothing is completely free from its opposite. You are not only who you are, but who you are not.”
This is an important book for the times in which we live, and probably, for any time. Crises change, but the need for human connection and living authentically never disappear, even when we want them to.
Recommended to anyone looking for deeper meaning in fiction.
I read and advanced readers copy of Disappear Doppelgänger Disappear provided by NetGalley. The book will be released on August 11, 2020.
July 28, 2021
I chose supernatural as a category shelf for this novel, but it's hard to define. I'd say it's more of a supernatural literary exploration about the self and especially if that self is a minority in America.
In the story, there are three "Matts." Matt Kim is the main character. There's also Matt Chang, a man who has been murdered in another dimension, and finally, Matt Salesses appears at the end as the murderer. There's a "twist" (many twists, and turns, and slips through walls, and into other people's "bubbles"). Matt Salesses claims that his friend, Matt Chang, wanted him to kill him.
If you are confused as you read this novel, I'd say, just go with it for the experience. The voice and the tone are so attractive and in my opinion, so meaningful. You can feel Matt Kim's inner torment as he tries to "love better" and as he describes his experiences being rejected by his former wife, Jennifer, his daughter, Charlotte, and by society. It's all set against an America poised on voting in Donald Trump, although he is never named. Lots of metaphors, lots of impossible physical events and throughout, you feel Kim's pain.
But if you can't handle such strange events that spool out in a non-linear fashion, I'd say you will be frustrated with this novel. I enjoyed it. It took me a while to finish. When I did, I was left with such a lingering heavy heart, a lyrical melancholy that gave me a sense of the absurdity in life. I think this novel did it's job, and the author did what he wanted to do. He wrote it during a very challenging and tragic time in his life, according to the author note, and that shows. Despite the melancholy, the ending did not strike me as hopeless, more of a statement about the struggle to continue as we all try to live out our lives. I highly recommend this book.
In the story, there are three "Matts." Matt Kim is the main character. There's also Matt Chang, a man who has been murdered in another dimension, and finally, Matt Salesses appears at the end as the murderer. There's a "twist" (many twists, and turns, and slips through walls, and into other people's "bubbles"). Matt Salesses claims that his friend, Matt Chang, wanted him to kill him.
If you are confused as you read this novel, I'd say, just go with it for the experience. The voice and the tone are so attractive and in my opinion, so meaningful. You can feel Matt Kim's inner torment as he tries to "love better" and as he describes his experiences being rejected by his former wife, Jennifer, his daughter, Charlotte, and by society. It's all set against an America poised on voting in Donald Trump, although he is never named. Lots of metaphors, lots of impossible physical events and throughout, you feel Kim's pain.
But if you can't handle such strange events that spool out in a non-linear fashion, I'd say you will be frustrated with this novel. I enjoyed it. It took me a while to finish. When I did, I was left with such a lingering heavy heart, a lyrical melancholy that gave me a sense of the absurdity in life. I think this novel did it's job, and the author did what he wanted to do. He wrote it during a very challenging and tragic time in his life, according to the author note, and that shows. Despite the melancholy, the ending did not strike me as hopeless, more of a statement about the struggle to continue as we all try to live out our lives. I highly recommend this book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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