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Profile Image for Steph Sinclair.
461 reviews11.1k followers
December 4, 2013

Stephen King once said, "Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good."
I couldn't agree more, Stephen. With that, we shall kick this off with a joke:

Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos


This re-reading is brought to you courtesy of Project: Hindsight.


I'm sorry folks. I just could not get through this shit book another time. However, since I've already read it a few times, I feel extremely confident in skipping to the review. But first, can someone please explain to me why this book is 563 pages?! Seriously, how is it possible a book with almost no plot can be so long? When I first read New Moon back in 2008, I didn't like it. In fact I'm not even sure why it had three stars because I remember being super frustrated. Even though Edward and Bella's relationship deeply disturbs my soul, Bella is so incredibly boring without him. I'm not even sure how Stephenie Meyer managed 563 pages. Truly, I'm amazed because I can sum up New Moon in one big picture:

But let's get on with it, I'll go into some detail for ya.

The book starts off on Bella's 18th birthday, a day she has been dreading for months only because in her mind she will be one year older than Edward. So, she makes a huge production about people not celebrating her birthday, but the Cullens ignore her and Alice plans a party. Before Edward forces her to attend they watch Romeo and Juliet (the book's supposed theme) and they have merry little conversation about Edward's contingency plans once Bella dies. Now, let's not forget they've only been dating for a few months. Yet, here they are making out and talking about killing themselves in the event of the other's death. How romantic. Don't even ask me the logic behind how they can even kiss when his teeth are supposed to be "venom coated." Stephenie Meyer gives some bull shit excuse she must have learned from ass-grab 101. But I digress...

Finally, they make it to the birthday party. Bella gets a paper cut and Jasper almost single-handedly ends this series on page 29.


Unfortunately, to my dismay his attempt was foiled by Edward. Eddie pushes Bella out the way and she crashes into the glass plates, slashing up her arm. Pause, let's think about that scene a bit: Who's bright idea was it to have glass plates? With a human. In a room full of vampires. That drink blood. Isn't Alice psychic? Why didn't she see Bella cutting her finger on the wrapping paper? Wait, don't think about that because if you spend all your time contemplating the stupidity, we'll never get through this review.

Obviously, Eddie is not happy with the events that went down at his place and Bella further irritates him by apologizing for...wait for it...being human. Bella, you know you've been hanging out with mythical creatures too much when you start thinking your humanity isn't normal. But anyway, Eddie does what any loving boyfriend would do after their girlfriend is attack by their brother: he ignores her. And because Eddie is "Alpha Male Edward" and Bella is "Submissive Mary Sue Bella," she doesn't confront him about it. Instead, she waits for him to be ready. On the third day of ignoring her, he drags he into the words and chucks up the deuces. The exchange goes a little like this:
Alpha Male Edward tells Submissive Mary Sue Bella firmly, "No, I don't want you to come. You're no good for me." And she pretty much agrees realizing how much of a waste of space she is. Then Edward just pours salt all over her open wound and tells her:
"Don't do anything reckless or stupid," he ordered, no longer detached. "Do you understand what I'm saying?...I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself--for him."
I nodded helplessly.
Wow. Relly? You're just going to let him order you around like that? How about you look after yourself FOR YOU first, everyone else second? Awesome Bells. Can I call you Bells? Not only do you have ZERO self-preservation skills, but also no self-confidence. Just awesome. There's only about a million or so girls looking up to you as a role model. No pressure to be a strong female character. You could have walked away from this with grace, but no, instead all your dignity flies out the window when you pull a bitch move and run after Edward through the woods.
Then, she defaults back to "Fuck my life" mode and slips into a depression for four fucking months. I find it kind of funny her depression was longer than their actual relationship. Heh. But this wasn't just any depression, it was some serious shit.
I always had nightmares now, every night. Not nightmares really, not in the plural, because it was always the same nightmare. You'd think I'd get bored after so many months, grow immune to it.
Or how about this:
Even my outsides looked different--my face sallow, white except for the purple circles the nightmares had left under my eyes. My eyes were dark enough against my pallid skin that--if I were beautiful and seen from a distance--I might even pass for a vampire now.
Once again I find myself asking the question: Where are her parents?! Why did Charlie let this go on for FOUR months?! She should have been in counseling or something. But Meyer thinks she can just pacify readers by Renee sending a random e-mail here and there or Charlie just suggesting she seek help, only to be shot down by Bella. Fail. So much fail.

All that considered, that's not even the biggest problem I have with this book. Bella soon figures out she can conjure up hallucinations of Edward if she does something reckless or suicidal. This is where Jake comes into play. Bella uses Jake (like everyone else) to get what she wants by asking him to fix up two motorcycles she found and giving her riding lessons. She figures it will be the perfect thing to help her see more of Edward. I suppose she simply forgot how big of a klutz she is and once the bikes are fixed the lessons commence. The first time she gets on she falls off and Jake (the only one with common sense) thinks they should call it a day before she gets hurt. But Bella thinks this is BK and she can have it her way, and gets back on the bike.
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Chick has gone batshit crazy and she promptly busts her ass. But she doesn't care because her mission was a success! She got to see and hear Edward! Her next brilliant idea is to throw herself off a cliff during high tide. The first time I read this I was secretly hoping she would drown, but the other two books already were published, so it was a hopeless wish. Oh and I almost forgot to mention the actual plot. LOL. Funny how that happens when there isn't one, huh? LOL. The She-vamp, Victoria, is scoping out the area trying to get to Bella. But her part is VERY small in this book (like the plot), so we don't really need to talk about her. I suppose the wolf pack is worth mentioning: They're pretty much a bunch of wannabe werewolves that run around with their shirts off.
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That's all you really need to know about them.

So, finally Alice shows up in chapter 18 because she thought Bella was trying to commit suicide (close enough Alice). And through a nice little exchange of "he said, she said" BS, Edward is off to Italy to kill himself. This causes Bella to go into "hero" mode and race to Italy and save Edward. I really don't care enough to give my thoughts on the race to Italy. That entire part was rushed and anti-climatic. There isn't even a fight scene. Instead here is a timeline courtesy of Reasoning with Vampires (Thanks for the link Cait and Jen!):


Anyway, they get back to good old Forks and Bella composes a vote on everyone's thoughts of her joining team undead. Edward is at a steady "no" along with Rosalie. But everyone else says, "Hell yes!" Like becoming a vampire is a party or something. Funny thing is when Bella asks Jasper he goes:
And she's all:
Hmm, yeah, that's not weird at all. Not the least bit creepy.

In the last few pages Edward and Jake have a little pissing contest and Edward proposes to Bella. The End. Yawn. Thank God it's over.

Now where's my fuckin' chocolate?

My Twilight Review can be found here.


Oh, yeah, bonus time. 'Cause what's a review without one?

Quick! If I were to light Edward on fire what would he become?

More reviews and more at Cuddlebuggery Book Blog.
Profile Image for Miranda Reads.
1,589 reviews157k followers
December 10, 2020

Ohhh yeah, I made a BookTube Video all about my scandalously unpopular twilight opinions (check out the video to see it...if you dare.)
Anyway, onwards to the review!

Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget; it was a hard line to walk.
Really cringing at my younger self..

And yet....I still loved it

So, I guess I'm cringing at my older self too.
Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars, points of light and reason. ...And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire
When Bella gets a paper cut during her birthday, she (in typical ridiculously unstable fashion) slices her arm open and stuffs it with glass. She becomes surrounded by seven thirsty vampires.

While she manages to make it out alive, Edward is horrified by what his family has the potential to do. (How is this a surprise?) (They're bloody vampires.)

Edward does the sensible thing and completely erases himself from her life. Bella does the sensible thing and completely erases her mind.

She throws herself into this weird fugue state for the first few chapters.
I honestly have no idea how to live without you.
Codependency for the win.

Seriously, their relationship is so messed up when I think about it. 100 year old man, 18 year old girl. I mean technically it isn't statuary but give Edward a few wrinkles and a stooped walk...and this book would be giving off a whole different vibe.

Looking back now, I don't understand how I was Team Edward for this book. Poor Jacob did all that work with healing Bella only to get thrown aside as soon as a little sparkle dances her way.

I remember my sixteen year old self absolutely crying when Bella goes into the fugue state after Edward leaves and bawling again when he came back. I kept thinking, "This is TRUE love."

Woah, Nelly. At least I don't feel the same now...right?

The 2018 PopSugar Reading Challenge - An allegory

Audiobook Comments
The girl voices (done by Ilyana Kadushin) were alright but her version of male voices were rather terrible. Picture a girl with the scratchy-cold voice. That's every guy in the book. Sigh.

YouTube | Blog | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Snapchat @miranda_reads
Profile Image for emma.
1,871 reviews54.7k followers
January 2, 2023
Have you ever been reading Twilight and been like, wow, I wish I could read this book except with no romance, a ton of suffering, a protagonist who’s heartbroken to the point of nonfunction for most of the book, way more of the characters you don’t care about, and also a lot of extraneous Native American stereotyping?

Because if so, Stephenie Meyer wrote this book for you.

You have to hand it to Steph for a writing a smash hit book and then being like I wonder what would happen if I took all the good fun stuff out of this and then added a bunch of bad stuff. Kind of a baller move. Especially since it worked.

Anyway. I have a soft spot for these books a mile wide due to a little something called “I was thirteen when Edward Cullen changed my life forever,” and even I had a hard time getting through this one.

This series is not well-written and the characters are not likable and the romance is insta-lovey AT BEST. All they have going for them is being fun.

Hopefully Stephenie Meyer got the memo in time for my reread of Eclipse.

Bottom line: The best part of this whole book is when like 5 whole months are just blank pages.


turns out the only thing i needed to become team jacob was 9 years and the harsh hit of reality.

review to come / 2 stars

currently-reading updates

even when i was 13 i knew this book was...not good.

what better time to reread it than in the midst of a reading slump?
Profile Image for chan ☆.
1,072 reviews51.5k followers
July 7, 2020
alexa, play possibility by lykke li
Profile Image for Ariel.
301 reviews64.1k followers
September 6, 2019
I don't even know how to review this. It's really bad? But very fun to read? And I am not able to be objective of it at all because it holds so much nostalgia.
Profile Image for Amanda.
254 reviews4 followers
January 2, 2010
Keep in mind that though this review is about to wheel off into an angry rant, this book is good. The series is addictive. And as I said previously about Stephanie Meyer, if you want to cease brain function for a few hours, she's your girl.

The beginning is slow, the middle is gold, the end is lacking. The blank pages to represent months passed in zombie-depression, great idea.

Now, my problem. My problem is not so much with the story as it is perhaps with the idea behind the story and thus, the author herself.

It all starts with Romeo and Juliet. Stupid kids. Yes, yes, the great tragedy of love. Please note the word tragedy came before the word love. Because without the tragedy there would be no story. What would the story be otherwise? I'm not going to presume to rewrite Shakespeare (at least not for the hypothetical purposes of illustrating a point in this review).

I will say, that I find it sad and unfortunate that Meyers insists on her characters not only admiring Romeo and Juliet (not the play, but the hormone-addled teenagers who committed suicide rather than take a minute to think it through), but specifically referencing the star-crossed lovers in near direct comparison to her protagonist and the lover-vamp. (Her main character also can be caught reading Jane Austen, but more on that later).

My point? Impossible love is a great story. No doubt. And Meyer's characters, the human girl and the vampire (um, Buffy and Angel anyone?) are certainly in an impossible situation. Great, perfect, wonderful.

The difficulty? No where to go. That's what makes Romeo and Juliet a tragedy. That's why Buffy and Angel never got back together. What choices has she left us? Either the human becomes a vampire or the vampire (in what would be a HUGE cheat) becomes human again. So? Make the human a vamp, right? Problem solved. Well, despite the flippancy with which so many of Meyer's characters approach this option, to do so would be a tragedy of sorts. Because in effect, it would be suicide, a life ended to be with the man she loves so senselessly that it makes you wonder how she could admire Jane Austen at all.

Yes, Jane Austen writes about love, but take a look at "Sense and Sensibility". Jane Austen recognizes that love is more complex than the simple lust of it (while Romeo and Juliet barely get a chance to blink before they marry, screw and die-much like the carrion flies Romeo references. . .) Strength of character, not the sweaty passion, conquers all. Clear conscience and unerring moral fortitude conquers class-differences, social stigmas and familial disapproval. And so, they all get to live happily ever after.

This is your dilemma Stephanie Meyers. You've laid the groundwork, not for a Jane Austen like happy-ending despite the odds, but a Shakespearian tragedy that will not only leave the audience sobbing, but foaming mad. Frankly, the readers of today don't want a tragedy (for the most part), they get that enough every day. They want the happy ending. I want the happy ending and what would that be in this situation?

As far as I can see there is no way to have a true happy ending. Either you make a living girl a vampire. Or you pull out the deus ex machina and make the vampire a human. Neither option will be unsullied enough to be fully satisfactory.

Personally, I would rather see the girl become a vampire, though I wish the character would take it a little more seriously than she has. Because my sense of fairness would be violated if the vamp miraculously becomes a human. But no matter how it ends, I fear I will be disappointed, as the endings of both books have been so thoroughly let-downs I cannot imagine the author has it in her mind to tack a new course at this point.

How do I have the audacity to be so critical? Have I written a New York Times Bestseller? Two, three?

Not yet.
Profile Image for Nicole.
514 reviews14.3k followers
July 20, 2022
Nie oceniłam pierwszego tomu, ale obok tego nie przejdę obojętnie. Romantyzowanie myśli samobójczych nie jest właściwie, tak jak budowanie relacji na toksycznych motywach.
Pomijam, że cała książka jest pisana na kolanie.
Profile Image for SK.
314 reviews2,782 followers
March 16, 2023
"Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me."


"These violent delights have violent ends
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder
Which, as they kiss, consume."

For a book about heartbreak.. it oddly makes you feel warm and fuzzy.

This is hands down the best book in the series, despite the lack of Edward (in my opinion). I still wish Stephenie Meyer would someday write this one from Edward's perspective. I need to know what was going through his mind, how was he coping, what was he doing. So many possibilities😩
Profile Image for Paul Bryant.
2,219 reviews9,921 followers
Shelved as 'reviews-of-books-i-didnt-read'
October 8, 2017

When she was 12 me and my daughter Georgia went to see Twilight. After the movie I asked her what she thought.

"THAT WAS THE BEST MOVIE EVER" she said. And she went to see it three more times, with people other than me.

So she bought the book and read it in about four hours. I asked her what she thought.


Then we got the dvd of the movie and she watched it again.

"THAT WAS THE WORST MOVIE EVER" she said. I was surprised but she explained - "Bella is stupid, Edward is stupid, nothing looks right, they miss out all the important stuff, it's so bad, it's so so so bad"

Then she read all the other Twilight books in like four hours.


A week ago she said


and I said "But you think Twilight The Movie is stupid".

"Yes, it is stupid" she said "and I can't WAIT to see how bad New Moon is!"



ps : Now (aged 13) she's going to see the new Robert Pattinson movie Remember Me. I assume that's because he's so hideous and such a bad actor

Profile Image for Nash (all too unwell).
324 reviews881 followers
September 27, 2021
You know its true love when its between a 100+ year old virgin pedophile and a 18yr old child with one brain cell😌

She is so bad at everything, like she cant even put herself in danger properly
Profile Image for NickReads.
461 reviews1,194 followers
May 10, 2020
This is the worst. Spoil alert: Literally nothing happens.
Profile Image for Ahmad Sharabiani.
9,564 reviews44 followers
October 19, 2021
New Moon (Twilight, #2), Stephenie Meyer

New Moon is a romantic fantasy novel by author Stephenie Meyer, and is the second novel in the Twilight series.

The novel continues the story of Bella Swan and vampire Edward Cullen's relationship.

When Edward leaves Bella after his brother attacks her, she is left heartbroken and depressed for months until Jacob Black becomes her best friend and helps her fight her pain.

However, her life twists once more when Jacob's nature reveals itself and Edward's sister decides to visit.

تاریخ نخستین خوانش: روز بیست و یکم ماه سپتامبر سال 2009میلادی

عنوان: ماه نو: نویسنده: استفنی مه یر؛ مترجم: ایرج مثال آذر؛ نشر کرج، در دانش بهمن؛ سال1387، در583ص؛ چاپ دوم تا چهارم سال 1388؛ چاپ پنجم سال1389؛ شابک9789641740643؛ موضوع: داستانهای نویسندگان ایالات متحده آمریکا - سده 21م

عنوان: ماه نو: نویسنده: استفنی مه یر؛ مترجم: فرشید قهرمانی؛ قزوین، سایه گستر، سال1388، در438ص؛ شابک9789645023278؛

عنوان: ماه نو: نویسنده: استفنی مه یر؛ مترجم: فاطمه علیپور؛ تهران، عقیل، سال1389، در507ص؛ بدون شابک

عنوان: ماه نو: نویسنده: استفنی مه یر؛ مترجم: الهام دژکام؛ تهران، چکاوک، پگاه، 1393، در576ص؛ با جلد سخت، شابک9789648957198؛

کتاب «ماه نو»؛ در ادامه ی کتاب «شفق»؛ یا همان «گرگ و میش»، بنوشته ی بانو «استفنی مه یر» است؛ عشق و هراس، در کنار یکدیگر؛ وجود هر یک، مستلزم وجود آن دیگری است؛ این داستان، با جشن زادروز هیجده سالگی «بلا سوان» آغاز می‌شود؛ «بلا»، انگشت خود را می‌برد؛ آن رویداد موجب برانگیخته شدن «جاسپر»، برادر «ادوارد» می‌گردد؛ «ادوارد» آشفته حال، «بلا» را ترک می‌گوید؛ «بلا» افسرده می‌شود؛ اما پس از آشنایی بیشتر با «جیکوب بلک»، حالش بهتر می‌شود؛ «بلا» درمی‌یابد «جیکوب»، یک گرگینه است؛ زمانی که «جیکوب» برای شکار «ویکتوریا» (جفت «جیمز» که برای انتقام برگشته) رفته، «بلا» از روی صخره، به درون آب می‌پرد؛ از سوی دیگر، «آلیس» خواهر «ادوارد»، کار «بلا» را می‌بیند، و آن را خودکشی می‌پندارد؛ خبر به گوش «ادوارد» می‌رسد، و او تصمیم می‌گیرد، برای خودکشی، نزد خانواده ی «ولتوری» (خانواده سلطنتی خون‌ آشام‌ها) برود؛ در آنجا «بلا»، او را پیش از آنکه دچار دردسر شود، نجات می‌دهد، ولی «بلا» باید در آینده‌ ای نزدیک، خون‌آشام شود؛ وگرنه با «ولتوری‌ها» روبرو خواهد شد...؛

تاریخ بهنگام رسانی 28/09/1399هجری خورشیدی؛ 26/071400هجری خورشیدی؛ ا. شربیانی
Profile Image for Melissa ♥ Dog/Wolf Lover ♥ Martin.
3,538 reviews9,968 followers
July 29, 2020
I didn’t love this one as much or the movie either. Everyone was a dick, but I loved Jacob and it broke my heart at the unnecessary pain and using of people. I mostly skimmed it again. I mostly do the same for the movie.

October... November..... December... January

It was Jacob himself. Jacob was simply a perpetually happy person, and he carried that happiness with him like an aura, sharing it with whoever was near him. Like an earthbound sun, whenever someone was within his gravitational pull, Jacob warmed them. It was natural, a part of who he was. No wonder I was so eager to see him.

Mel 🖤🐶🐺🐾

BLOG: https://melissa413readsalot.blogspot....
Profile Image for karen.
3,988 reviews170k followers
September 23, 2021
oh, hai, just me here, reading new moon on my nook simple touch...

this twilight craze... the books are not as bad as the haters say they are, but they are also nowhere near as good as lovers of this series believe. this installment was just kind of... bland. despite my reading it on the fine e-ink technology of the new nook.

she did one thing right - one wonderful thing. i assume it is too late to actually "spoil" anything in the bellaverse, so i am just going to barrel ahead - but when edward leaves bella in the woods. that moment - when she just loses her mind and her desolation and her emptiness and her self-destructive impulses shoot straight to the surface. it was pretty well-done. because let's face it, we have all been left behind by someone we are still in love with. even me. wonderful, wonderful me.

and having recently rewatched my favorite movie, head-on, i have to point out the best scene in it, and how it mirrors this book. this is a spoiler for head on. which you should all watch. and be gutted.

that is the kind of heartbreak bella has here and lord, do i get that impulse. and bella keeps it up the whole book - testing the boundaries of her own mortality to get that rush of maybe-edward each time she is close to death. and that's pretty ballsy for teen fiction.

but i don't know how many near-death experiences one girl has to have in order to become interesting. this book was fine, but mostly just one-note. she misses edward and likes but doesn't like-like jacob. for nearly four hundred pages. but my, how slender four hundred pages can be on the new nook!

so - yeah - i am reading on a freaking robot. i was forced to borrow one from work so that i could get on board with the emerging technology. did i do all right, john petrie?? are you proud of my commitment to excellence?? do you see i read a whole book on a machine?? a book that i read for the express purpose of getting to eclipse so i can be a completist in my reading books that are "based" on wuthering heights quest?? and no one looking at me knew what i was reading. the freedom from shame was well worth it...

nook. lightweight. tiny. capacious. good for hiding your books from nosy subway riders. may contain traces of new moon...

come to my blog!
Profile Image for Scott.
686 reviews86 followers
August 4, 2008
I can't even.... wow. Is anyone else completely aghast that this dreck saw a printing press not to mention became a wildly popular series?

I thought I was being hard on Twilight when I criticized it for portraying a relationship so ill-advised and unhealthy and then romanticizing that relationship to young people as if people didn't already make enough bad decisions. I thought maybe now that Book 1 was done the series would take a nice turn.

Enter: New Moon. Exit: Shred of decency.

Were it simply a problem of the weakly-developed characters, confused and uneven plotline, hundreds of pages of cloying depression (only to be replaced by cloying sentimentality later on), and an appalling and unsubtle parallel to Romeo and Juliet, this novel would simply be mediocre teen fare.

But then we must consider the problem of Bella: whiny, needy, and sullen, blindly devoting herself to a partner that constantly patronizes, criticizes, and subjugates her only for him to leave so she can spend the next 8 months in a state of emotional vacancy so acute that she forgets everything else in her life that a girl can be happy about. Bella is only complete--and she says this herself--when her man is by her side. And apparently, according to Meyer at least, this is ok. It's ok to create a character so bereft of purpose, self-assurance, and identity that she can't live without a relationship based on nothing substantial, just beauty, lust, and exoticism.

And it's ok for her to experience no emotional maturity whatsoever because in the end, her lover comes back spewing the same gushy nonsense as before while still lording it over her and flying into rages when he doesn't get his way.

The only compelling character in this story was Jacob. That is... until he became a werewolf and became as cardboard and unappealing as the rest of the cast. The irrational hatred between vampires and werewolves gets played off as instinctual, but it has all the logic of bigotry, and that these characters do nothing to try overcoming it is yet another way in which they are immature and non-self-examining.

Due to the audience for which this intended, I have to say that New Moon and the Twilight Saga as a whole are not just poor, they're damaging.

And don't even get me started on the "epiphany" of p. 527. We were expected to believe Bella thought Edward had ceased to love her even though an autistic housefly could see it was nowhere near true?

This book failed. Intensely. I'm sorry.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Manny.
Author 30 books14k followers
October 7, 2009
As ye sow, so shall ye reap.

Earlier this year, I foolishly lent my copy of Twilight to Cate across the road. She liked it. Then, when she got a place at college last month, we thought we'd give her something as a congratulations-and-going-away present. It was so logical to buy a copy of New Moon.

Cate zipped through it quickly, and dropped off her copy before leaving so that I could read it too. How could I possibly say anything except thank you?

Well... look on the bright side. I've heard so much about this book, and I suppose it is interesting to see what people are talking about. But, Jesus Christ, Bella is eighteen and she's already obsessing about getting old. She keeps hassling Edward to turn her into a vampire so that she can stay young and pretty for ever. There is some chance that this will result in her losing her immortal soul, but hey, seems worth the risk.

I suppose future ages may consider that this says something about early 21st century Western society. You don't exactly have to overexert your mind to come up with interpretations in that direction.


So here's a thought that occurred to me this morning, which I'm surprised to find hasn't already been discussed to death by hardcore Twilight fans. Bella is a bright girl who gets mostly As and Bs at school, so why hasn't she stopped even for a second to consider the physics of vampires? To start with, where do they get their energy from? They don't really eat, they don't really drink, and they don't even need to breathe. Yet they're incredibly strong and fast. OK, they claim they need blood every now and then. But not, apparently, very often, and how could they possibly get this amount of energy from the occasional liter of blood?

Then they're hard, "like marble". In fact, if they didn't claim to be vampires, would we even think of calling them that? They certainly seem to be a lot more like humanoid robots. And if you just follow up that hypothesis for a moment, several things fall into place. Their blood must surely be full of those little nanobots that are going to be the Next Big Thing. When a vampire bites a human, the nanobots get into the victim's bloodstream and start restructuring him from the inside out, replacing all the soft animal tissue with something far more durable.

That no doubt includes the brain too; they probably scan it and then map the structure onto software, a trick that's been standard in SF for several decades now. No wonder the "vampires" can think so uncannily fast. But if your brain has been scanned, destroyed, and turned into software, are you still the same person? You can see why Edward is warning Bella that she might lose her soul. It's a bit like turning an LP into a CD, a process that several of my classical musician friends describe in exactly those words.

And, going back to where we came in, where is their energy coming from? Those nanobots must have their own power source too. I must admit that I don't know what it is. The fact that "vampires" don't seem to need any kind of material inputs suggests it's not chemical; nuclear seems more likely. Maybe they have some kind of catalyzed cold fusion, or it could be a post-quantum force that we haven't discovered yet. After all, we're way overdue for the coming revolution in physics.

Also, where did the nanobots come from, and why are "vampires" unhappy to be out in open sunlight? I can only see one sensible answer. They can't have been created by humans. "Vampires" have been around a long time, and human technology was primitive when they first appeared. They must be from elsewhere, which in practice means from another solar system. Probably they were originally created thousands of light-years from here, and have been drifting slowly on the cosmic currents for millennia. Well, if their normal habitat is deep interstellar space, no wonder they're scared of sunlight. They wouldn't normally be this close to a star; they're not designed for it at all.

And here's the thing that surprised me most. In fact, the story isn't irrelevant or far-fetched. If people like Ray Kurzweil are right, it's tackling what could soon be a major issue. According to Kurzweil, the Singularity is supposed to arrive this century, and those nanobots will be a reality. Millions of people will have to make exactly the moral choice that Bella has to make in the book. Are you going to stay human, or allow yourself to be transformed into a godlike and near-immortal being, which might however not actually be you any more?

It's interesting that the books are appearing when they are, and present such a compelling emotional case for allowing yourself to be infected by nanobots. If you like conspiracy theories, feel free to speculate some more here.


I'm doing my best to like this book. I mean, hating it would hardly be a challenge, would it? But every now and then, I get a passage like this one:
I'd been broken beyond repair.

But I needed Jacob now, needed him like a drug. I'd used him as a crutch for too long, and I was in deeper than I'd planned to go with anyone again.


Having now reached the end, I must admit that I enjoyed New Moon more than I'd expected. Of course, there are some problems, starting with the fact that Stephenie Meyer can't write to save her life. But by making it a first-person narrative told by the shy, clumsy Bella, she has found an ingenious way to get around that. Bella's endearing klutziness is just a metaphor for her even more serious problems as a writer. As she keeps telling us, every time she walks across a room she wonders if she'll trip over her feet and end up in hospital; similar remarks apply to her ability to string together an eight word declarative sentence. But she's stylistically consistent, and after a while I found myself accepting her. This just happens to be her voice, even though it's not a very good one.

I also thought that she was a seriously unreliable narrator. Not about factual events; to start off with, she doesn't seem to be imaginative enough to make anything up. When it comes to telling us about her feelings, however, I found it hard to believe her, and presenting everything as a mass of regurgitated romantic clichés is an effective way to show us how poorly she understands herself. We hear over and over again that she loves Edward, and only thinks of Jacob as a friend. But we also hear that Edward feels hard and cold to the touch. I couldn't help thinking of the wonderful scene in Mean Girls where Rachel McAdams's Cool Mom insists on giving Lindsay Lohan a silicone-enhanced hug; I'm sure that Bella often winces in just the same way when Edward hugs her, though she doesn't allow herself to notice it. In contrast, Jacob is warm and alive, and she genuinely likes holding his hand and feeling him put his arm around her. There are several scenes when she nearly kisses him, knowing full well what that will lead to. It's clear that she wants to, and the excuses she makes to herself about him just being an unsatisfactory substitute for Edward are laughably unconvincing.

I found the opposition between Edward and Jacob the heart of the book, and after a while I decided that the author was presenting something interesting and essentially honest. The tricky thing is that she's subverted the vampire symbol. Usually, vampires represent the young girl's simultaneous dread and fascination in the face of sex. But Edward isn't very sexy. We're always being told that he looks like an angel, and indeed there does seem to be an angelic purity about him. I find it much more plausible that he's representing religion, and when you think of him in those terms several other things come into focus. As Richard Dawkins keeps telling us, a religion is a kind of virus, which infected parties want to spread as quickly as possible; well, vampirism is rather like that too. And Bella is very conflicted in her feelings about vampires. She loves the Cullens, "her family", but she is well aware that most vampires are monsters. If you're brought up in a cult-like religion, that's not a bad metaphor. All other religions are evil and wrong; your own religion is the one exception to the rule.

As everyone knows, Stephenie Meyer is a committed Mormon. It doesn't seem far-fetched to claim that Bella's feelings about vampires mirror the author's feelings about her religion, which among other things is very down on premarital sex. And that's where the werewolves come in; they represent the normal sexual feelings that most young Mormon girls are taught to deny. The tension between these two conflicting attractions is what gives New Moon its undeniable force, and I found the story credible at an emotional level. I can readily believe that it's just like that to be a eighteen year old Mormon girl with a healthy sexual appetite, and I feel I understand their plight better after having read this book. Well done, Stephenie!

Profile Image for Kai Spellmeier.
Author 6 books13.7k followers
September 17, 2021
“What happens when you lose your heart's desire?”

I love the Twilight Saga. I love every single book and it's kind of hard for me to pick a favourite. This one, however, is probably my least favourite. Not for obvious reasons, though. Most people complain about how nothing really happens, how Bella is mainly depressed and moping and boring. To be honest, this is my favourite part in this book. It's the perfect rainy autumn day read. When you're feeling down and annoyed, this book wraps you in a blanket and comforts you. Bella's numbness and depression, Fork's atmosphere, Jacob's warmth, all of that soothes your - or well at least my - soul and lets you sulk a little and enjoy the silence.
I could do without the action, though. I don't need the big drama at the end of every Twilight book. I'm happy just reading about Bella's thoughts and inner conflicts, about her life in Forks, her friends and the Cullens. That's enough for me.

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March 20, 2011
I admit I put off reading this second book in the Twilight series, for a few reasons. Maybe my love for Twilight would turn out to be a fluke. I had watched the movie recently, so it would feel like a rerun. I wasn’t ready to dive back into the series. Well, I finally manned up and read New Moon this week. I can honestly say this is one of my favorite books of all time.

Many bad things have been said about Ms. Meyer’s writing. I don’t agree with any of it. Ms. Meyer has proven to me that she can write books that I can admire and enjoy, and that I can appreciate from an artistic and literary standpoint. She brings the story to vivid life, and pulls me right into the action. She knows how to make me feel. For me, it’s not a good sign when I read a book and I feel detached, bored, withdrawn. I want to be involved in a story that I read for pleasure, which is 95% of the time I spend reading. When I read Twilight, I couldn’t get over the awe and joy I felt as I discovered the world of Bella Swan and Edward Cullen. The beauty of their love story. I didn’t think this book could top that feeling. Surprisingly, it did. Ms. Meyer took the story that much deeper for me with New Moon.

I have actually read few writers that have such a gift for illustrating and bringing emotions to live. Showing the complexity of relationships, how they all come to matter and play a part of our emotional landscape. The pain that Bella feels when Edward leaves….I felt it acutely. I felt like my heart was breaking along with Bella’s. I felt angry at Edward. I was so mad I wanted to slap him. But, I also felt that same love for Edward I felt when I read Twilight. I could understand why he left, not possibly knowing that his leaving could never be the best thing for Bella. With this couple, as with my favorites in literature, you can see how mutual, how all-consuming their love for each other is. Some might call it self-destructive. But emotions don’t follow the rules. Even when people try to control them, they still manifest in other ways. Especially those that are so powerful, like the love these two people shared.

When it came to Bella’s recovery (at least partial), I thought it was so well-written as Ms. Meyer showed Bella picking herself up from the abyss that Edward and the Cullens’ departure had thrown her into. The way that Ms. Meyer showed the first four months was so beautifully evocative and yet so basic, it was that much more effective. Just each month written on a individual page. Nothing else. That’s how it was for Bella. She couldn’t stop living, not knowing what that would do to her parents. So she existed. Nothing more. After that, there was her developing relationship with Jacob Black.
Again, there was so much skill in describing how Bella becomes friends with Jake. I love how Jake is described as Bella’s sun. Her love for him that is more than just a friend, like a brother, but deeper. I know that if there was no Edward Cullen, then maybe Jake could have been Bella’s true love. But in the world where Edward existed, there was no substitute. I thought that the book would be boring without Edward, but it was far from that. I found that I loved this book even though he wasn’t technically there, except for his voice in Bella’s head. That voice that came around to warn Bella when she was in trouble. Yet at the same time, Jake had the power to hold the pain from Edward’s leaving at bay. When he would smile his sweet smile, and shine his light on Bella. Even though Jake was like a crutch that held a crippled Bella on her feet, I didn’t feel like she used Jake and gave nothing in return. Her friendship also helped him. She stood up for him and cared about him, bringing something to his life as well.

I love Bella as a character. She’s a good person, very caring, but also stubborn as a mule. I like how she is shown to be imperfect, but more than willing to examine her actions and her motives to see if she is doing what she feels is right. Yes, Bella did some immature things, but what do humans do when they are hurting? I think that considering the circumstances she went through, I don’t find fault with Bella. I think Bella might come off wrong on first glance to the casual observer. Like she is in her own little world, selfish and self-absorbed. The way I read her is what I’ve seen in people in real life like Bella. She’s one of those people whose capacity for love is all consuming. She has to hold herself at a distance or lose herself. Because some people don’t understand how deep she commits herself to others. It totally makes sense why she falls apart when Edward leaves, and then when Jake pushes her away because of what is going on with him. The fact that I respected Bella so much is why I loved this book passionately, even though my favorite character is hardly even in the book. It also testifies to Ms. Meyer’s skill at writing. Her characters keep me invested, the way they interact with each other, creating the fabric of this book, a beautifully-woven creation that sucked me in too deep to let go until I was done. I love my dad, but Charlie would be a great dad for any girl. He makes this book series special to me, just for his small parts in the books. He’s adorable!

Silly me. I didn’t expect to enjoy Jake’s story and the wolves as much as I did. I’m silly because I love werewolf stories. I’m silly because I was completely wrong. The wolf pack aspect was very interesting. I felt so much for Jake, how he was confused and at sea; how he truly believed that the wolf that had awakened in him made him bad. I was glad that he had Bella to help him see that the wolf was a beautiful thing, part of who he was. Part of why she loved him, and like she loved Edward even with his being a vampire, she would continue to love him, even as a wolf. I have to say that although Edward is still my favorite, I adore Jake tremendously. I could see what a special, sweet guy he was, how hard he tried to do what was right, and the control that he mustered when it was clear how much his ‘gift’ made control very difficult for him. I just love how he is described. He is like sunshine to Edward’s moon. So yes, I am a Jacob fan now, and well as loving his pack brothers and Emily.

Even though there is not a lot of action in this book, it still kept me riveted. I appreciated how the menace of the Volturi came off so clearly, even with very little onscreen violence. The contrast between the Cullens and the Volturi was beautifully, clearly rendered. How the Cullens had chosen the connection between them, the capacity to love over the bloodlust, even if it was terribly hard at times. This helped me to see that Edward’s motives were truly good, even if they seemed foolhardy. Once that was clear, and seeing his pain, how leaving Bella had destroyed him, I couldn’t stay mad at him. I love Edward way too much. I also adore the Cullens, especially Alice and Carlisle.

I honestly feel that this series shows a deep kind of love that I haven’t seen in all my twenty-plus years of romance reading. It’s not just boy-girl romance, either. It shows a deep, powerful romantic love, but also the love of friendship, the bonds of family (not merely by blood, but by choice), and how they all come together, serving as our greatest weaknesses, but also our greatest strengths. That’s the duality of human nature. Funny how I can learn this lesson from a book about vampires and werewolves, and a human girl caught between them. I can hardly describe how much I love this book! I’m done trying..for now!
Profile Image for paige.
638 reviews733 followers
September 28, 2023
"Love gave someone the power to break you."


This book is. THIS BOOK. I still remember the day I picked it up for the first time and started in on it only to have my heart ripped out of my chest when I found out Edward wasn't going to be a main focus in it. I'm convinced to this day that it was my first real heart-break. I thought Edward broke up with ME. It might have actually hurt more than my first break up in real life. You, my book friends, I'm sure you'll understand what I mean when I say that.

In saying that, and with too many reads to count under my belt, I have to say that I still think it's a 5 star read. It's still one of the only books I will pick up when I'm sad, or depressed, or lonely, or out of place. Because Bella feels all of those things and more. When we're teens, we feel things so deeply. So fully. Mostly because we don't know how else to feel these feelings we've never had before. It's why Bella goes into a depression when she feels heart break for the first time.

It's why this book means so much to me. To be so validated when feeling so lost. I love books that make me feel less alone.

I'm sure we've all had a time in our lives when the world feels like too much to handle. When we want to spin around on a chair with possibility playing on a loop and watch the months go by. Why should we fault her for that? And on top of that, it's not a normal heart break. It's grief. For a lost dream, a lost family and a lost soul mate. Bella feels so lost because she found herself in a world she's only been able to find in books, and it was taken away so abruptly, and she was forced into reality so quickly, how could she find a moment to breathe?

And that's the beauty of the story. Finding out who Bella is outside of Edward. A daughter, a friend, and one hell of an adrenaline junkie. To be fair, I, too, would risk my life to see illusions of Edward. I'm also glad that we get a bit of the REAL friendship between Jacob and Bella, because every time I go through this series, I really need something good to hold onto when it comes to him.

Spoiler: it hardly ever works. I don't think I'll ever like Jacob Black. The foreshadowing into the next few books is spectacular and so well thought out I will always believe that Stephenie Meyer is a genius.

Beyond that. I love Bella's individualism at the end. Taking a choice Edward would choose to die before making, that will affect her, his family and everyone that loves him. With the danger lurking on all ends, Bella taking that stand sets up the most beautiful balance of her becoming Edward's equal.

And the undercurrent of Victoria leading into Eclipse? I will forever believe this is the best filler book ever written.

- Paige
Profile Image for Chantal.
579 reviews391 followers
July 1, 2023
Of course, I cannot simply stop reading this series after book 1, and my OCD urges me to revisit all the books. New Moon has consistently remained my least favorite. While I may lean towards Team Vampires (yes all of them), I genuinely like Jacob and the pack as well. I adore every aspect of it, irrespective of its classification as YA, emotional and sentimental.
Profile Image for Lucy .
343 reviews34 followers
June 8, 2008
Bella Swan's relationship with her hot vampire boyfriend Edward Cullen is heating up when her characteristic clumsiness messes everything up again at her vampire-thrown birthday party. In typical Bella style, she gives herself a paper cut and Edward has to literally throw himself in front of her to keep her from being dinner for six hungry vampires. That's the last straw for Edward, and he and his entire family pick up and leave to prevent any more harm from coming to Bella on their tab. Bella is, of course, inconsolable, and walks through life like a lovesick zombie - until she renews her friendship with local boy Jacob Black. Jacob is a good friend - and more importantly, he helps Bella fix up two motorcycles and teaches her to ride them. Bella's friendship with Jacob - and the adrenaline rush that the motorcycles bring - sustains her, until she discovers a dangerous truth about the identity of Jacob and his friends - they are a pack of young werewolves. And even worse, they have been working to protect her from a vicious vampire who has it in for Bella.

After the horrible drudge that was Twilight, New Moon was a pleasant surprise. At least, part of it was, if you can get past Bella's melodramatic, lovesick, woe-is-me-I-am-the-center-of-the-universe depression. I was actually starting to enjoy Bella's somewhat odd relationship with Jacob, and the book in general, which kind of surprised me - until Edward showed up again. Then, the writing dissolved once again to "I love you more, shmoopy." "No, I love you more." and I lost patience once again. That's the problem with this book. The shmoopy, syrupy, unexplainededly irritating Romeo-and-Juliet True Love that Edward and Bella share. I like Bella with Alice. I like Bella with Carlisle and Esme. I like Bella with Jacob. I can't stand Bella with Edward. And let me rephrase that. There is nothing likeable about Bella as a character - she is a complete and total MarySue. Jacob is goodhearted and clever and interesting, and I have no trouble understanding why Bella is drawn to him. But why is Jacob drawn to Bella? There seems to be no reason I can understand. And most laughable of all is Bella's desperate urge to become a vampire herself. Especially at the end, when Edward asks her to marry him first, and she balks. She's afraid of commitment, but not of being turned into a vampire so she can stay with him always? Give me a break.
Profile Image for Stephanie L.
154 reviews106 followers
May 23, 2020
Twilight: 1.5★

--1E-9/5 stars-- (for those of you who don't want to convert the scientific notation: 1E-9 = 0.000000001 or 1/1,000,000,000)

I am so mad right now. So. Fucking. Angry.

Is this what we're supposed to be teaching our teenage daughters? Sisters? Nieces? Apparently Ms. Meyer believes that:

1. Moping for 4 straight months over a goddamned boy is okay, and even though you'll make people worried and your friends may stop talking to you, hey! it's okay, because your love for this boy is so strong and you'll eventually figure yourself out on your own.

2. Becoming another boy's friend solely to use him to make yourself feel better and to try and fill that "void" the other boy left, without any regard for his feelings and how your actions might affect him is definitely okay because hey! he's just a friend and even though he may see it differently, you know in your heart you'll never love him like that. Even though he doesn't know. But that's okay. Cause you know. And you'll tell him. Eventually. Okay never.

3. Hopping on a plane to another fucking continent is definitely the best decision you could make when your twoo wuv is in danger of killing himself, even though he's immortal. With no regard to your father. Who literally just came back from his friend's funeral. Nah, don't think about Dad. He's probably not that worried. Cause Daddy, I love him!

4. You're supposed to be selfish because you're in love! I'm not even going to try to explain this one. It's literally the whole book.

I'm just so utterly disgusted by what I just read, and I can't believe I managed to stomach it all. Bella is so incredibly weak as a protagonist, girl, woman, character, whatever. Just the way she treats everyone is extremely self-centered--from her father to her friends to Jacob--and it made me furious. But it's okay because "she's in pain." Christ, apparently Stephenie Meyer hasn't ever been in an actual teenage relationship because almost none of this shite is enough to break someone for four months. A boy broke your heart? I'm sorry, honey, but you'll eventually get over it because you're a strong woman who doesn't need to rely on other people for your own happiness. Get out there and make your own. Without a goddamned boy. Do you really have nothing else in your life worth living for? Really?

Fuck. That.
Profile Image for Julianna.
Author 5 books1,329 followers
December 18, 2018
Reviewed for THC Reviews
Twilight was a grand romance which frequently left me smiling, but New Moon takes on a bittersweet, angst-filled and edgy tone in this continuing dramatic saga of teen love between a vampire and a human. The book gets off to a rather explosive start, but rapidly turns to heavy sorrow when Edward make a fateful decision concerning Bella's safety. Following his decision, Edward is off the canvas for about the next two-thirds of the book, as is the entire Cullen family. During this time, the story is very reminiscent of Twilight in that it moves at a languid but steady pace while extensive character and relationship development occurs. The fall-out to Bella's psyche from Edward's choice is heart-wrenching to read. Stephenie Meyer is so good at writing Bella's agony, that I felt like my own heart had been ripped to shreds. Then a newfound depth in her friendship with Jacob Black, seems to be Bella's saving grace, bringing some sense of peace to her otherwise chaotic life. Still, danger lurks everywhere, bringing a certain level of suspense to the story, which then escalates into a taut thriller when an unfortunate misunderstanding places Alice and Bella in a race against time to save Edward from certain death. With so much going on, New Moon was yet another installment in the Twilight series that was extremely difficult to put down.

I can't help but continue to enjoy the characters in this series. I still like Bella very much, but I found myself wishing that she would have a little more confidence in Edward's love for her. After the beauty of their romance in Twilight, it was hard for me to understand how she couldn't, but ultimately, it seemed that her feelings of inadequacy – of not measuring up to a spectacular creature like Edward – simply got the best of her. Thankfully she did have an epiphany before the end, so hopefully will be beyond that stage by the next book. Bella also has a tendency to think of everyone else first (except when she's being reckless), which can be a very good trait, but also left me thinking that it might be nice if she took care of herself once in a while too. While Bella is still an accident-prone magnet for danger, I missed her endearing awkward clumsiness. Instead she is now living on the edge and seeking out the danger. It was also very difficult to read about her severe depression without being dragged down a bit myself. Edward is still the same thoughtful and loving hero I adored in Twilight though his absence for much of the story, left a huge hole, which was a major point of the story that I though the author conveyed magnificently. One of my favorite things about Edward is his wry, teasing sense of humor, but the tone of New Moon is so serious, it didn't allow for many of these moments to shine through. In Edward's absence, Bella develops a deep friendship with Jacob Black, who ends up being much more than she at first thought he was. Jacob also essentially becomes a second hero and the third point in a love triangle. While Bella never really feels more for Jacob than friendship or brotherly love, Jacob does fall for Bella. Jacob and Edward have very different personalities, but Jacob is such a wonderful character, I couldn't help but adore him too. While I don't think that his happily-ever-after does or should lie with Bella, I do hope he gets one eventually. These three characters have completely engrossed my attention, and I can't wait to see what develops next for them.

The secondary characters were wonderful as well. It was nice to see Charlie finally taking charge and acting more like a father. Most of the Cullens didn't play very big roles in this story, with the one exception being Alice. Because of her visions, she is an intriguing character who I hope will be front and center throughout the series, as I really like her breezy manner and no-nonsense attitude. New Moon also fills in a couple of the missing pieces of her human past. Although Carlisle only appears in a couple of scenes, he also fills in some missing pieces about himself and Edward. New Moon introduces Sam Uley and a “gang” of Native American teens who are far more than they seem to be on the surface and who play key roles in Jacob's life. Billy, Jacob's father, is also present, but doesn't take on a particularly strong role. Readers are also introduced to the Volturi, a group of vampires who live in Italy and are basically vampire royalty. They are at once both fascinating and monstrous creatures, and unlike the Cullens are extremely dangerous, posing yet another threat to Bella's existence. Overall, I thought the story had a varied and colorful character palette.

As with Twilight, New Moon did not contain any explicit elements – no sex, only a dozen or so mild profanities, and minimal violence. There is a scene though, in which a group of humans become unwitting prey for a group of blood-thirsty vampires. It does takes place in the background and is not played out explicitly, so whether or not it is disturbing for readers, would depend more on the individual's imagination and sensitivity level. I happen to have a very vivid imagination, so it did make me a tad squeamish. The story also contains several mature thematic elements, such as severe depression, discussion of and a near attempt of suicide, deliberately reckless behavior, and stealing cars (though for a good reason). There are also racial tensions between two classes of supernatural beings, which includes some derogatory name-calling. In addition, depending on the reader's point of view, it may seem that Edward and Bella's love for one another borders on obsession. Even I admit, that if these characters were real and normal, I would have been telling them to go get therapy and quick.;-) I've read enough paranormal romances though, to know that the bond shared by supernatural creatures and their mates is stronger, deeper and more permanent than most human bonds. It's just that in this particular story that bond gets a rather heavy treatment owing, in my opinion, to it's highly character-driven nature and emotional intensity. I still think that most mature teens should be able to handle all the complex subject matter, but all these elements would make great points of discussion for parents and educators.

In spite of the serious and sometimes even depressing overtones of the narrative, I found New Moon to be yet another fascinating read. I really enjoy stories that include some sort of spiritual element, and New Moon has one in the form of an ongoing debate over whether there is an afterlife for vampires or whether they truly are the eternal damned. I love stories that make me think and there is so much more going on beneath the surface in this one (even outside the spiritual thread), that I can't seem to help pondering it even after turning the final page. New Moon has earned a place on my keeper shelf right next to it's predecessor, Twilight, and I'll be eagerly looking forward to reading Eclipse and Breaking Dawn , the final two installments in the Twilight series, as well. With two-for-two, Stephenie Meyer definitely deserves a place among my favorite authors. I will be very interested in reading The Host and seeing what other tales might be created from her fertile imagination.
Profile Image for Zoe.
332 reviews1,445 followers
August 28, 2021
You know what I do when I’m feeling bad?
I think at least I’m not Bella Swan

Welcome to part two of why the Twilight series should die in a dumpster fire.

You know what I did today?
I didn’t watch Twilight…..thank god
I didn’t want to lose any more brain cells
But I thought why not enlighten all of you to my opinion of the Twilight series so here we are again.

And as last time we are going to be referring as the characters as

Edward: Mr Light Bulb. Because apparently vampires sparkle in the sun now instead of burning?
Bella: Little Miss Dumb: Because well aparently someone who wants you for your blood is attractive? Hmnh, I don’t think so.
Jacob: Fuzz balls: I don’t think I need to explain.

This review will have major spoilers for this and the rest of the series so you have been warned. Also there will be swearing.

Shall we take a look at what the back of my New Moon book says?

FOR BELLA SWAN THERE IS ONE THING more important than life itself: Edward Cullen. But being in love with a vampire is even more dangerous than Bella could ever have imagined. Edward has already rescued Bella from the clutches of one evil vampire, but now, as their daring relationship threatens all that is near and dear to them, they realize their troubles may be just beginning....

Here, ladies and gentleman, we have the amazing writing skills of Stephanie Meyer.


Oh my god I did not think the most dumb girl ever can get any more dumber but here we have this book 600 pages of Bella having no brain cells.


Oh dear, where do I even start?


So apparently now Miss Dumb has crippling depression because her Vampire boyfriend has left her *takes a deep breath* I’m so all she does is sit there for a good four months thinking over how much she loved and adored the person I want to kill her. But then suddenly she had an accident and she heard Light Bulbs' beautifully soothing voice. *vomits*
In reality his voice is just the same as every other teenage boy no wait no teenage boy AN 100 YEAR OLD MAN.

So now she does crazy shit to hear his voice LIKE JUMPING OFF A DAMN CLIFF. And then of course Mr Fuzz Balls is there to save her every single time because he’s Mr nice guy but NO Bella can’t go for Mr nice guy she has to go for the guy who WANTS TO KILL HER. *takes another deep breath*

AND THEN THE VISION VAMP has a vision Bella committing suicide basically and told Loght Blub and now Light Bulb distraught because the LOVE OF HIS LIFE ,now let’s not forget that he left her, is now dead in his eyes. So now he goes to the vampire government that all look like babies. AND ASKS THEM TO KILL HIM BECAUSE HE CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT MISS DUMB.
Let’s take this moment to remember that YOU LEFT HER!!!!!!!

And ofc the baby vamp government says NO you cannot kill yourself because some girl died! AND THEY HAVE A GOOD REASON.



and then the baby vamp government are like ‘she can live but she needs to become a vampire’
So they leave and Miss Dumb is like LETS TAKE A POLL TO SEE IF I SHOULD BE IMMORTAL!
and wait there more: the book ends when Light Bulbs like I WILL BITE YOU IF U MARRY ME.

Little Miss Dumb::
She is much dumber than last time I checked. I think she will be continuing to lose brain cells.

Mr Light Bulb:
A 100 year old man in a teenager's body after a teenage HUMAN girl because none of the female vamps wanted him. UNDERSTANDABLE.

Mr Fuzz balls::

So overall this book is dumber than Miss Dumb and Light Bulb is a child predator.

P.S this is a five part series where me and one of my best friends reviews all the Twilight books.

Thank you for reading my rant

My review of Twilight

my review of New Moon

my review of Eclipse

my review of Breaking Dawn
Profile Image for Bookishrealm.
2,085 reviews5,072 followers
July 17, 2020
Whew child...

This was a hot fucking mess. I mean I know times change and we evolve as people and we won't have the same beliefs, but damn this book was bad. I've been running with this theory that if Meyer was to take these books to any publishing house in the year 2020, she would not be published. There is no way that anyone would let half of this stuff slide now. So since there's absolutely nothing that I enjoyed about this novel, let the critical analysis begin. I would also like to point out that reading this book was extremely painful for me. I only finished it because I was using an audiobook to assist.

The first problem of this book is the glorification of this toxic relationship between Edward and Bella. I'm not sure why this relationship is gloried so much but it's wrong. In the beginning of the book, Edward leaves Bella knowing how obsessed she is with him and their relationship. Instead of trying to figure out things like the 110 year old man that he is, he decides to run and abandon her while telling her that "he'll love her in a way." Like what?? There, in my opinion, is a clear indication of emotional abuse in this particular situation and Edward is never held accountable for it. After Edward leaves, Bella beings to seek thrill rides in order to "hear" Edward's voice. Clearly this is supposed to be a representation of mental health, but instead of addressing it or using it as a gateway for a bigger discussion, Meyer allows both characters to avoid it. Even when it appears that Charlie could make a good decision by sending her to a psychiatrist, he is forced to back down and Bella continues with her self-destructive behavior. There were even specific points in which I felt as though Bella was clearly suicidal and no one does anything to address the behavior.

In addition to this, Meyer engages in constant harmful representation of the Native community. While the vampires (who are all white) are described with such care and admiration, Jacob and his family and friends are often described in an aggressive/distrustful manner. While I cannot speak directly to all of the Native representation present in the book because I, myself, am not Native. I have listened to Native reviewers and they have explicitly stated that she misrepresents and harms the Native community.

It's actually quite funny that the main character of this book is the one character that I absolutely HATE. Bella has to be the most unlikeable character that I have ever encountered in a YA book. I think at one point I was feeling for her because I knew that she slipped into depression; however, when she began using Jacob to fill the gap for Edward I fell right back into my previous feelings. Bella does not care about anyone in the world except for Edward. I mean she doesn't even care about herself. It gets frustrating seeing her constantly put herself down and really disregard her own safety and the safety of others for an OLD MAN that left her high and dry during the first sign of trouble. I mean most of the book really didn't even have plot. It was page after page of the glorification of their unhealthy relationship. She was willing to drop Jacob the moment she figured out that it was a possibility for Edward to be back in her life. Jacob just deserved better treatment especially after he was lying to friends and family to keep Bella entertained. I think what disturbs me the most is how shocked she is when no one wants to deal with her. It should be clear that after you treat people like shit and use them because your boyfriend leaves you then no one is going to want to deal with you.

Clearly, I didn't enjoy this book. I'm only reading these now for the live shows that I will be participating in. They don't hold up against the test of time and I'm truly wondering how Stephanie Meyer could possible think to publish a book from Edwards perspective when everything about these books is so toxic and wrong.
Profile Image for Iben Frederiksen.
300 reviews177 followers
April 15, 2020
★ 3.0 Stars ★

Back when I was an all-out twihard, New Moon was easily my least favourite book in the series.. Why? You might ask, well. The lack of vampires was the reason for this. I never really cared about the whole Edward vs Jacob thing - sure, I did choose Edward over Jacob, but this was only because I thought the vampires were much cooler than the wolves, and not because I thought that Edward was actually better than Jacob - even at fifteen I could see how glitterboy was actually kind of a douchebag.

But to my surprise, I liked New Moon better this time around.

Now we all know this entire series is problematic, so I won't linger on the subjects of Bella's entire life basically ending because a boy broke up with her, or how she just immediately forgives said boy within seconds of seeing him again... it's bad, but we all know this already.

Instead I had fun; fixing bikes with Bella and Jake, getting to know the wolf-crew and vomiting a little every time Jacob called Bella "honey".

Also, a compliment to Stephenie Meyer for actually introducing the Volturi in the very first book - that was actually some solid planning on her part, instead of just introducing them when they were relevant to the story, nice!
Profile Image for Mary ~Ravager of Tomes~.
350 reviews943 followers
June 18, 2018
Alright I finished this one & I just have to say yea there were tons of problems but I enjoyed this light, lovey dovey vampire crap. I can’t give it above a 3 Stars just because I know it’s trash but you can bet your ass I had a lot of fun so that’s gotta be worth something!

I’ll probably end up writing something about the series as a whole when I make it to the end of Breaking Dawn so stay tuned if you’re interested!
Profile Image for Natalie.
570 reviews3,197 followers
November 29, 2020
Reading New Moon for the first time. You know I had to do it (to them). I'm taking extensive notes as I go along, similar to my Twilight thread.

bookspoils 1bookspoils 2
(Scroll down to keep up with me as I update)

Going into this right after Twilight, I was begging and hoping I wouldn't be let down. Twilight surprised me with how much fun I had with it. It was silly and over-the-top and romantic and problematic. All the components for a great book to live-tweet. Which I did. Along with a review. It brought me out of my quarantine funk and gave me something to look forward to, however silly it may be.

When it comes to Twilight you have to kind of leave logic behind, what with all the angst, drama, and you know, vampires vs werewolves. I was prepared for that side. I was not prepared for New Moon. Oh, how I wish I would've been prepared for New Moon.

Buckle in for the journey that is the second book in the Twilight series. True to form, it contained all the ups and downs. Read along to discover if there were more ups than downs. It began innocently enough:

*Cue transitional music traveling back to the start*

“Well, Gran, you might have noticed that my boyfriend glitters. It’s just something he does in the sun. Don’t worry about it....”

Hmmm, will this ever feel normal. . . .

I sighed. “Do you want me to watch this alone?”
“No, I’ll mostly be watching you, anyway.”

The hilarity of them watching Romeo and Juliet together.

• The info dumps at the start were driving me mad. they’re the equivalent of “previously on…” and I remember all too clearly what happened in the first book. . . I HAD JUST READ IT. Trust me, Carlisle's backstory can wait to be repeated later on.

“But what would I do without you?”
“Whatever you were doing before I came along and complicated your existence.”
He sighed. “You make that sound so easy.”
“It should be. I’m not really that interesting.”

Where is the lie?

Also: Good old fashioned relationship troubles with Bella and Edward? I relish that now, coming from the other side of this book.

• Speaking of Bella being uninteresting:

“As far as Rosalie was concerned, I was an unwelcome intruder into her family’s secret life.”

And she is right. I low-key love Rosalie. She's the only one to put Bella in her rightful place. In what universe is Bella adored by all vampires? In the same universe where she makes them runoff from their own home?

“Well, that’s everyone,” I sighed. “I can clear a room, at least.”

Read the room: you don't belong with the Cullens
mean girls

I fear this will become a recurring theme. And meme.

“If I develop this film,” I said, toying with the camera in my hands, “will you show up in the picture?”

I forgot that the humor in the Twilight series isn't all that bad. Though, I feel like Twilight had more of it than this angsty follow-up book.

Adding to that, I got to wondering late one night. Whenever Bella gets ready in the morning, Edward just sits there waiting for her to be done. Do vampires not use the bathroom or brush their teeth? asking for a friend.

• Back to the melodrama, and no, I'm not talking about Lorde's album. Unfortunately. We're back to the same old same old:
“Bella, you gave yourself a paper cut—that hardly deserves the death penalty.”
“It’s still my fault.”
My words opened up the floodgate.
“Your fault?”

Even Edward is amazed at how she seeks to punish herself. That's saying a lot.

“I’d rather die than be with Mike Newton,” I protested. “I’d rather die than be with anyone but you.”
“Don’t be melodramatic, please.”

This is where their age difference comes to play.
Also: is she going to repeat this statement throughout the book? We're tired, Bella.

“I didn’t realize that you were capable of being reasonable.”

This whole "don’t get harmed & bleed or i’ll feel triggered to kill you because i’m a vampire" is getting worse and worse. There's only one simple solution yet neither seemed reasonable enough to go through with it.

“The guilt made my head bow and my shoulders slump. I’d run them out of their home, just like Rosalie and Emmett. I was a plague.”

Yes! If you can’t dump Edward because you’re too attached to him, at least think of the people around you suffering because of your decision.

“When you say we—,” I whispered.
“I mean my family and myself.” Each word separate and distinct.”

Does it have to be spelled out for Bella to understand that she's not part of the Cullens?


“I won’t put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I’d never existed.”

When this moment arrived I was astonished. And then I realized what it meant: F R E E D O M. If anything, I was glad to get a break from the daily quarrels that weren't going to clear themselves up anytime soon. I was over the moon giddy, actually.

On the one hand, after spending so much of Twilight with Edward at Bella's disposal, I was excited to see what she had to offer without him at her side 24/7. I wanted that character development. Save yourself in this one, for once. However, what I soon came to realize was that we either get an obsessed Bella going on and on about her vampire-boyfriend made of marble or we get a lifeless Bella moping on and on about Edward being gone. . . choose your fighter.

And then, it struck me. I had stumbled onto a larger beast than anticipated. Bella without Edward is... mind-numbingly boring. I was seriously contemplating skipping pages to when Edward shows up. The realization hit that Bella's infuriating without him and she’s infuriating with him, but at least Edward keeps it interesting.

And no, the plot convenience of Edward appearing in her head was not working for me. It's an obvious ruse to appease the fans. We want the real deal, not an illusion.

It has to be said. The truth can't escape me at this point: I'm here solely for Edward and Jacob. Or at the very least, I'm not here to be tortured by Bella Swan. So I guess, good luck with New Moon. This is my cry for help. I came unprepared.

“The next few hours were agony.”

Is that Bella or me reading New Moon? I am desperately looking for the light at the end of a very dark tunnel.

At this point, it has to be said: Twilight peaked at... Twilight.
i said what i said

• Of course, we all know why the author swept away the Cullens so quickly. Make way for our new brooding hero: *Cue Kiss Me in She's All That* The new – not improved, but different – Jacob Black.
jacob black

• Does this mean that I have to care about a whole new cast of characters now? I do not have it in me, Bella. We're tired.

I guess, anything to get out of Bella's mind. But I had an inkling before diving into this book - I even wrote myself a reminder before opening the first chapter - that the author would ruin Edward and Bella so as to make way for our new – not improved, but different – hero (I'm having way too much fun with the She's All That references). I literally wrote a note titled, "Things to remember in case Edward's character gets ruined in the follow-up books." The list wasn't long, but still.

To backtrack, what I noticed pretty early on is that in order to enjoy Twilight I had to go into it with an open mind and zero preconceived notions. I just didn’t realize I would have to do so with each book in the series. So once I let go of my exceptions for the follow-up book, I could just let things run wild. Let the Cullens be gone for most of the book. Who cares? Not this open-minded gal. Let a new cast of characters take over. I’m fine.
i'm fine

You know, as long as I'm reading and being distracted from quarantine life, I'll take it.

• What is reading the Twilight series like? Reading this with a straight face: “Is that all? Really?” he interrupted me, a smile breaking across his face. “You’re just scared because I’m a murderer? That’s the only reason?”
side eye

“Can you stay out of trouble for one hour?” she asked skeptically. Then, before I could answer, she held up one finger and closed her eyes. Her face went smooth and blank for a few seconds.”

How hopeless is Bella? Alice has to actually foresee the future to answer that question.

• I really thought Romeo and Juliet was just an innocent mention at the start of the book. Oh, boy, if only I knew.

“I watched the figures moving across the little screen, but I couldn’t even tell if the movie was supposed to be a romance or a horror film.”

This reads like a review of Twilight.

• The race to get to the Volturi was more fast-paced than the entirety of New Moon. Oh, but how convenient for the author to suddenly have Bella turning into a vampire be considered for the greater good so we can't criticize her in the future.
Speaking of, I feel like the author made the book without Edward so unbearable so that when she finally gives him back to us, we’re supposed to be thankful and realize Edward carries the entire series on his back. I can't figure out if that's a genius move on her part or not.

I feel like I went into New Moon so naive, and by the end of it, I left utterly destroyed. I was, for one, not expecting Edward to be gone for the majority of it. I am still struck by that fact. It definitely added to my trust issues. I have no idea what to expect now with the following books in the series. I even wrote at one point in my notes that I want to make fun of him, but I'm so Edward deprived that I don’t care what he says right now. What a trick! After reading Twilight, New Moon seems like its evil twin.

On that note, another complaint with New Moon that I hope to get resolved in the next book is that there are barely any intimate or tender scenes lingering between Bella and Edward. I went into this series thinking it was more romance based instead of being so heavily focused on the plot. I mean does Stephenie Meyer think I chose this series to freshen up my memory on vampires? Who cares about the Volturi? Give me scenes with Edward and Bella. Scenes where they're not fighting for once. I just wanted that moment of sweet reunion to last longer than one page... I'm here for the romance is what I'm saying.

But you know as long as I'm invested enough to continue, I will. I just hope that as the series grows it will focus less on the history of vampires - because I don't remember signing up for Vampires 101 - and give us more of what we're all here for. . .

If you're looking for an entertaining distraction, be sure to snatch a copy of New Moon for yourself to reminisce or read along with me:

This review and more can be found on my blog.
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