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How to be Decadent
It was over thirty years ago that George Mikes wrote How to be an Alien, the classic vade mecum for foreigners in Britain. The book became required reading for the alien, and an indispensable aid to self-understanding for the native.
It is a heavy responsibility to be acknowledged as the leading expert on a subject as tricky as the British. For one thing, even they can change a good deal in thirty years. In acknowledgement of this, Mr Mikes has felt bound to write a new guide.
At the heart of the book are the important sections on How to Lose an Empire, Become a Colony, and Stop Being an Island. All these themes are brand new. Others are familiar, but required new treatment. Sex could no longer be despatched in the shortest chapter known to literature (ten words) but called for at least a page (Britons whose self-confidence is wobbly had better skip it). The art of getting lost in London has become infinitely more complex than it was, and what is happening to the language is hair-raising. But the native will find that although his self-esteem takes some hard knocks, he ends in a glow of self-congratulation. It seems that when Great Britain finally becomes a desert island it will have its Robinson Crusoe in the shape of George Mikes.
Amid all the changes two things remain the same: Nicholas Bentley is still the perfect illustrator for George Mikes's wit, and a special chemistry still exists between Mikes and his adopted country. The chemistry produced the most famous of all his works, and now it has produced the book to rival it.
It is a heavy responsibility to be acknowledged as the leading expert on a subject as tricky as the British. For one thing, even they can change a good deal in thirty years. In acknowledgement of this, Mr Mikes has felt bound to write a new guide.
At the heart of the book are the important sections on How to Lose an Empire, Become a Colony, and Stop Being an Island. All these themes are brand new. Others are familiar, but required new treatment. Sex could no longer be despatched in the shortest chapter known to literature (ten words) but called for at least a page (Britons whose self-confidence is wobbly had better skip it). The art of getting lost in London has become infinitely more complex than it was, and what is happening to the language is hair-raising. But the native will find that although his self-esteem takes some hard knocks, he ends in a glow of self-congratulation. It seems that when Great Britain finally becomes a desert island it will have its Robinson Crusoe in the shape of George Mikes.
Amid all the changes two things remain the same: Nicholas Bentley is still the perfect illustrator for George Mikes's wit, and a special chemistry still exists between Mikes and his adopted country. The chemistry produced the most famous of all his works, and now it has produced the book to rival it.
- GenresHumorNonfiction
87 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1977
98 people want to read
About the author
George Mikes
143 books53 followersGeorge Mikes (pronounced Mik-esh) was a Hungarian-born British author best known for his humorous commentaries on various countries.
Mikes graduated in Budapest in 1933 and started work as a journalist on Reggel ("Morning"), a Budapest newspaper. For a short while he wrote a column called Intim Pista for Színházi Élet ("Theatre Life").
In 1938 Mikes became the London correspondent for Reggel and 8 Órao Ujság ("8 Hours"). He worked for Reggel until 1940. Having been sent to London to cover the Munich Crisis and expecting to stay for only a couple of weeks, he remained for the rest of his life. In 1946 he became a British Citizen. It is reported that being a Jew from Hungary was a factor in his decision. Mikes wrote in both Hungarian and English: The Observer, The Times Literary Supplement, Encounter, Irodalmi Újság, Népszava, the Viennese Hungarian-language Magyar Híradó, and Világ.
From 1939 Mikes worked for the BBC Hungarian section making documentaries, at first as a freelance correspondent and, from 1950, as an employee. From 1975 until his death on 30 August 1987 he worked for the Hungarian section of Szabad Európa Rádió. He was president of the London branch of PEN, and a member of the Garrick Club.
His friends included Arthur Koestler, J. B. Priestley and André Deutsch, who was also his publisher.
His first book (1945) was We Were There To Escape – the true story of a Jugoslav officer about life in prisoner-of-war camps. The Times Literary Supplement praised the book for the humour it showed in parts, which led him to write his most famous book How to be an Alien which in 1946 proved a great success in post-war Britain.
How to be an Alien (1946) poked gentle fun at the English, including a one-line chapter on sex: "Continental people have sex lives; the English have hot-water bottles."
Subsequent books dealt with (among others) Japan (The Land of the Rising Yen), Israel (Milk and Honey, The Prophet Motive), the U.S. (How to Scrape Skies), and the United Nations (How to Unite Nations), Australia (Boomerang), the British again (How to be Inimitable, How to be Decadent), and South America (How to Tango). Other subjects include God (How to be God), his cat (Tsi-Tsa), wealth (How to be Poor) or philosophy (How to be a Guru).
Apart from his commentaries, he wrote humorous fiction (Mortal Passion; The Spy Who Died of Boredom) and contributed to the satirical television series That Was The Week That Was.
His autobiography was called How to be Seventy.
Serious writing included a book about the Hungarian Secret Police and he narrated a BBC television report of the Hungarian Revolution of 1956.
Mikes graduated in Budapest in 1933 and started work as a journalist on Reggel ("Morning"), a Budapest newspaper. For a short while he wrote a column called Intim Pista for Színházi Élet ("Theatre Life").
In 1938 Mikes became the London correspondent for Reggel and 8 Órao Ujság ("8 Hours"). He worked for Reggel until 1940. Having been sent to London to cover the Munich Crisis and expecting to stay for only a couple of weeks, he remained for the rest of his life. In 1946 he became a British Citizen. It is reported that being a Jew from Hungary was a factor in his decision. Mikes wrote in both Hungarian and English: The Observer, The Times Literary Supplement, Encounter, Irodalmi Újság, Népszava, the Viennese Hungarian-language Magyar Híradó, and Világ.
From 1939 Mikes worked for the BBC Hungarian section making documentaries, at first as a freelance correspondent and, from 1950, as an employee. From 1975 until his death on 30 August 1987 he worked for the Hungarian section of Szabad Európa Rádió. He was president of the London branch of PEN, and a member of the Garrick Club.
His friends included Arthur Koestler, J. B. Priestley and André Deutsch, who was also his publisher.
His first book (1945) was We Were There To Escape – the true story of a Jugoslav officer about life in prisoner-of-war camps. The Times Literary Supplement praised the book for the humour it showed in parts, which led him to write his most famous book How to be an Alien which in 1946 proved a great success in post-war Britain.
How to be an Alien (1946) poked gentle fun at the English, including a one-line chapter on sex: "Continental people have sex lives; the English have hot-water bottles."
Subsequent books dealt with (among others) Japan (The Land of the Rising Yen), Israel (Milk and Honey, The Prophet Motive), the U.S. (How to Scrape Skies), and the United Nations (How to Unite Nations), Australia (Boomerang), the British again (How to be Inimitable, How to be Decadent), and South America (How to Tango). Other subjects include God (How to be God), his cat (Tsi-Tsa), wealth (How to be Poor) or philosophy (How to be a Guru).
Apart from his commentaries, he wrote humorous fiction (Mortal Passion; The Spy Who Died of Boredom) and contributed to the satirical television series That Was The Week That Was.
His autobiography was called How to be Seventy.
Serious writing included a book about the Hungarian Secret Police and he narrated a BBC television report of the Hungarian Revolution of 1956.
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
August 18, 2017
(3.5) The final book in the How to Be a Brit trilogy, this was originally published in 1977, the year before Mikes died. Though still funny, there’s an air of melancholy nostalgia to this one, rather like in Bill Bryson’s The Road to Little Dribbling. Mikes notes that while he has become more English over the years, England has become less so: there’s no more empire or crowns and shillings, there’s been an economic downturn, and there are movements towards joining Europe that make him uneasy (he would have delighted at Brexit, presumably). He seems to fear the country losing what makes it distinctive and becoming “a suburb of Brussels.” No danger of that now. It’s ironic to see him denying the danger of extremists coming to power (“The British are extreme moderates … rabid middle-of-the-roaders”); would he have embraced UKIP? Anyway, there’s more laughs about Brits’ understatement, devotion to queuing and love of pets.
Favorite lines:
“Understatement is still in the air. It is not just a speciality of the English sense of humour; it is a way of life. When gales uproot trees and sweep away roofs of houses, you should remark that it is ‘a bit blowy’.”
“If the death penalty is ever to be restored in Britain, it will not be for murder – an art the English admire and appreciate as connoisseurs – but for queue-jumping, the most heinous of all crimes.”
“Q. Why don’t the British panic? A. They do, but very quietly. It is impossible for the naked eye to tell their panic from their ecstasy.”
“The country is going to the dogs. But this has always been a country of dog-lovers. So why worry?”
Favorite lines:
“Understatement is still in the air. It is not just a speciality of the English sense of humour; it is a way of life. When gales uproot trees and sweep away roofs of houses, you should remark that it is ‘a bit blowy’.”
“If the death penalty is ever to be restored in Britain, it will not be for murder – an art the English admire and appreciate as connoisseurs – but for queue-jumping, the most heinous of all crimes.”
“Q. Why don’t the British panic? A. They do, but very quietly. It is impossible for the naked eye to tell their panic from their ecstasy.”
“The country is going to the dogs. But this has always been a country of dog-lovers. So why worry?”
June 13, 2017
Another in the series of "How to be..." books by George Mikes and like How to be Inimitable it is a description of Britain, this time Britain of the 1970s, or more specifically post-empire Britain. Like the other books, each chapter is self-contained and it reads like a collection of humorous magazine articles. The themes are how Britain has changed since World War II and how Britain has been influenced by the rest of world and how it remains different. As it was written about the time Britain joined the Common Market some of the issues are the same as those that came up during the Brexit debate of 2015/6.
Writing is cynical and affectionate and generally reinforces stereotypes about both the British and the rest of the world. If you had read other books by George Mikes you won't find anything new or different here.
The "decadence" of the title refers to the apparent decline in the status of Britain due to the loss of empire.
Writing is cynical and affectionate and generally reinforces stereotypes about both the British and the rest of the world. If you had read other books by George Mikes you won't find anything new or different here.
Q. Why don't the British panic?
A. They do, but very quietly. It is impossible for the naked eye to tell their panic from their ecstasy
The "decadence" of the title refers to the apparent decline in the status of Britain due to the loss of empire.
July 11, 2012
Still very funny but a little bit less than How To Be an Alien.
August 6, 2012
I remember reading How to be an Alien & How to be a Guru in the late eighties. Really nice to revisit Mikes. He is still as engaging and funny as he was back then!
October 16, 2012
As is perhaps inevitable, time has passed this book by. A few amusing bits, but not really worth going out of your way to read.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews