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Librarian Note: Alternate/new cover edition of ASIN: B001HQHCBQ.

Readers met and fell in love with Zsadist and Bella in J. R. Ward's third New York Times bestselling novel in the Black Dagger Brotherhood series, Lover Awakened.

As a former blood slave, Zsadist bore the scars from a past filled with suffering and degradation until Bella came along and helped heal his emotional wounds. Now, though, with the birth of their child, the demons of his past have been resurrected, called forth by the innocent eyes of his beloved daughter, Nalla. Unless Bella and Nalla can bring him back with their love, he may be lost to them forever.

91 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 7, 2008

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About the author

J.R. Ward

191 books48.5k followers
J.R. Ward is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of numerous novels, including the Black Dagger Brotherhood series. She lives in the South her family.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,611 reviews
July 12, 2019
5 Swoon Z Stars

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First read 2014
Reread 4/2/2017


“You’re like your mahmen,” he whispered. “You make the world go away for me”-Z

OMG I can't take all the yumminess of Z. I've melted into a big puddle of goofy fangirl happy goo. To say this little bitty Novella was epic seems weak for the way it made me feel. This story was beautiful, moving, and totally nailed me in the feels. I loved every single minute of it. To read about Z and Bella having their problems after Nalla was born and work through them coming out stronger on the other side.....OMG it was heartwarming. Z was having a lot of problems with his pasts and Nalla and I loved how he turned it around and became a amazing father. I also loved him and Bella who had been having their own issues being able to be alone as a couple since the baby was born come together. And when they did there was enough heat to melt my kindle. Great read! Perfect! I want more Z, Bella, and Nalla, and I wish this one was longer!

"Have you missed my kisses, darling mate? The ones I like to give you between your thights?" "Yes," she choked out-Z and Bella

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“Hey, what are you doing, little one? You want more? You are just too much . . . you . . . oh, no . . . not the quivering lip . . . oh, no.” Nalla let out a giggle. “Outrageous! You want more, and you know you’re going to get what you want because of The Lip. Jeez, you’ve got your father wrapped around your little finger, don’t you.” -Z and Bella
Profile Image for Alex is The Romance Fox.
1,461 reviews1,088 followers
April 2, 2017
This was such a beautiful if rather short story.

Zsadista & Bella having found each other and now so much more with with their baby Nalla.
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Touching and uplifting. It's that feeling of total love and devotion that just gets me about this couple. I absolutely adore them and their baby.
FATHER LOVE..........
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“Sorry to bother you,” Bella said over the wailing. “But she wants her daddy.”

“Hey, what are you doing, little one? You want more? You are just too much . . . you . . . oh, no . . . not the quivering lip . . . oh, no.” Nalla let out a giggle.
“Outrageous! You want more, and you know you’re going to get what you want because of The Lip. Jeez, you’ve got your father wrapped around your little finger, don’t you.

So glad that the author gave us this unforgettable extra to my favorite couple in this series.

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So true!!!
Profile Image for • Lisa •.
555 reviews1,524 followers
June 8, 2013

"You are everything to me."

The heartbreaking tale of Zsadist and the ghosts of his past continue in this novella that to be honest I completely devoured. I loved having an 'extra' glimpse into the family life of Zsadist, Bella and their newborn, Nalla.

Zsadist is my favourite of the black dagger brotherhood, and it goes without saying that I was more than a little excited when I found out this short story was next in the line up.

So what's it about ...
Well, like the title suggests this novella gives Brotherhood fans another delicious look-see into the lives of our favourite vampires. To set the scene, Zsadist and Bella have overcome the threat of pregnancy that has hung over their lives for months, here we get to experience the joy, sacrifice and pain of becoming parents and surviving the heartbreaking reality of Zsadist's past.

Utterly heartbreaking, with an intensity that can only come from a story about my favourite vamps, 'father mine' is an equally emotional and sensual story with a gorgeous ending ...

if like me your a brotherhood fan don't miss out on this short but compelling novella, you won't be disappointed.

December 28, 2019
Gotta love a happy Z!

This was the story of Zsadist and his downward spiral after the birth of his daughter Nalla. Z was so worried the entire time Bella was pregnant because a lot of vampire females die in childbirth and she was already having a difficult pregnancy. Both he and Phury thought that if he lost Bella he wouldn’t have anything to live for.

Bella lived and had the baby, but afterward Zsadist wouldn’t go near the baby. He wouldn’t feed from Bella and was having horrible nightmares again about being a blood slave. This is the story of how he gets form that state to happy with his life and with his family. Zsadist is my favorite of all the brothers so it is great to finally see him get over all his pain and suffering and just finally be happy.

Profile Image for Pam.
1,093 reviews1,015 followers
September 10, 2013
5 stars
One was his heart and the other a piece of himself, and they completed him by filling voids he didn’t know he had.

I didn’t think I could love Z more than I did in Lover Awakened, but Z finding his place as a father and as a hellren was even better. He is unbelievably strong as a male but so damn fragile at the same time. My heart went out to Bella, how hard it must have been to sit back and watch the two most important people in your life act like strangers. And Nalla, she was a sweetheart, how easy it was to fall in love with her.

I waited so long to read this novella, and it was no one’s fault but my own since I was procrastinating with the other books prior to this one, and it did not disappoint.
Profile Image for Crystal~BIG book addict~.
278 reviews206 followers
August 27, 2013
What a great, great novella to follow up my disappointment with Phury's book. Poor Z, you just want to give the guy a hug and tell him it will be okay.

Zsadist is having problems transitioning into fatherhood. Bella feels neglected and even Nalla is noticing her father's distance from her. He can't get past all of the evil The Mistress did to him. Can he get past his nightmares to become the husband and father that the women in his life need?

“I’m so sorry. I love you. Please forgive me. Can’t live without you.”

“You’re like your mahmen,” he whispered. “You make the world go away for me”

There was a lot of emotion packed into this novella. What a great way to spend an hour.
December 20, 2013

"...having a baby changed everything."
Time, space, feeling emotion...
Everything is affected....

We know Zsadist has demons from his past; will they impact on his role as a Father and a husband?

Bella and Zsadist are still dynamite together, with their passion and their fierce love of one another.
Is that enough to keep them together...???

To see this big strong man with so much fear and emotion was truly touching and very beautiful. I loved reconnecting with them and sharing in their new angst ridden drama.

Zsadist and Bella's story, Lover Awakened, was a 5 star read, for me, so to get a little Novella, a glimpse into their future with Nalla was a real treat.... A cherry on the top of an already wonderfully epic love story.

If you want the answer to my question then take a peak...

♥ Br with Barb & Deanna ♥

***The beautiful babe is my very own Honey Bee in my hands ♥
They really do change everything

Profile Image for Mirjana **DTR - Down to Read**.
1,390 reviews652 followers
January 6, 2015

***5 Stars***

WARNING : Spoilers ahead if you haven't read Lover Awakened.

After I finished Z's book, I just had to jump into this novella. Typically I have a hard time jumping around in a series, but there was no way I could pass up more Zsadist and Bella.

The novella provided a fantastic look into their lives. The struggles of adjusting to their new family, Z's apprehension and fear of dirtying his beautifully pure daughter, all his demons coming back full force with the realization that she'll have questions about his appearance when she gets older.

We also see Bella's insecurities after giving birth. She is now a devoted mother, but unsure of her footing as she feels Z pulling away from both their daughter and her. She knows he loves her, but she's been through so much emotionally and physically. Does he see her differently now? As much as she's understanding of his issues, she now needs some reassurances herself.

"You are just as beautiful as the first time I saw you in the gym all those nights and days ago. You stopped my heart then - just froze it in my chest. And you stop it now."

I loved watching these two work through their issues. They're so open and loving. So supportive of each other. Bella listens to Z's heartbreaking confessions with understanding and a sympathetic heart, while Zsadist is able to understand that although he thought the distance was better for his shellan and Nalla, ultimately what they truly need is him. Just him, as he is. All his scars. All his fears. All his love.

"They were both his, these two. His and his alone, and he had to take care of them. One was his heart and the other a piece of himself, and they completed him by filling voids he didn't know he had."
Profile Image for Whitney.
328 reviews110 followers
October 8, 2019
This is a must read if you loved Lover Awakened. Z and Bella are still my favorite couple to date. They have issues and struggles. It makes them more relatable, more realistic. To me, their story will never end. Ward could write three more books about them and I guarantee that they would be just as touching and beautifully written as the first.

Speaking of the writing, it was wonderful. I could quote the whole book. Every line was filled with emotion. It was perfect.

I’m so sorry. I love you. Please forgive me. Can’t live without you.

I also loved seeing the shellans play a role in this book. Mary and Doc Jane were just as wonderful as Bella and Z. Seeing them help Z was heartwarming. I loved Jane's tough love.

Here's my deal. Wrath's appointed me as the Brotherhood's personal physician. You screw around with eating and feeding and sleeping such that it impairs your performance, I will bench your ass.


5 stars!
Profile Image for Anna.
483 reviews376 followers
June 6, 2013
I love the idea of Novellas ....it feeds my GREED for more ....when I close a book and I don't want a story to end..............

FIRST COMES LOVE.....then comes marriage....


Profile Image for Christy.
3,817 reviews32.4k followers
May 19, 2013
Their love had seemed like it would be enough to get them through everything. Maybe it wasn���t.

After marriage and a baby, life isn’t always a happily ever after.

This was such a beautiful novella about Zsadist and Bella. A quick read, but a powerful read. I think I cried almost the whole time I was reading this... sad tears, happy tears... there will be tears.
‘I love you... Please don’t leave me.’

Z is one of my favorite brothers, and I love his shellan, Bella. A must read novella for all BDB lovers! The ending was perfect! Love it!!!

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Profile Image for Beverly.
1,005 reviews800 followers
June 9, 2014
* * * * * 5 Z-antastic Stars * * * * *

This little jewel tells the story of Zadist and Bella after Nalla is born.

Zadist has become completely wrapped up in taking care of Bella and her baby.

Her baby?

I know what your thinking, it takes two to make a thing go right

Well, Z is having some issues coming to terms with Nalla and being a father. Don’t worry we do not have another Phury situation, Z actually works through his issues and communicates with Bella.

All in all this is a great little novella and thankfully put me in the mood for the next book, because after Phury I was really dreading what would come next.
Profile Image for Amy | Foxy Blogs.
1,414 reviews971 followers
June 9, 2014
**4.5 Baby Daddy stars**


Read this just in time for Father's Day(June 15, 2014). Z is a daddy now and not the most confident dad in the world. But as he faces his nightmares he becomes just what Nalla needs: '...she needed him-and not just to protect her. She needed him to love her too.'

A quick book that helped get me back in the mood for BDB after my disappointment with Phury's book.

Dark Lover (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #1) by J.R. Ward Lover Eternal (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #2) by J.R. Ward Lover Awakened (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #3) by J.R. Ward Lover Revealed (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #4) by J.R. Ward Lover Unbound (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #5) by J.R. Ward Lover Enshrined (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #6) by J.R. Ward Lover Avenged (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #7) by J.R. Ward Lover Mine (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #8) by J.R. Ward Lover Unleashed (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #9) by J.R. Ward Lover Reborn (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #10) by J.R. Ward Lover at Last (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #11) by J.R. Ward The King (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #12) by J.R. Ward The Shadows (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #13) by J.R. Ward
To find out when The Shadows will be released and if there will be more books in the series click here.

Father Mine (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #6.5) by J.R. Ward The Story of Son (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #6.6) by J.R. Ward

90th book of 2014
Profile Image for ✰ Liz ✰ .
1,349 reviews1,263 followers
January 29, 2015
"Their love had seemed like it would be enough to get them through everything. Maybe it wasn’t."


Father Mine is a beautifully crafted novella following the aftermath of the birth of Nalla (Bella and Zsadist's baby girl). Z's nightmares have resurfaced. Bella is struggling with being a new mom. Overall, things seem to be a mess. Bella has tried everything to bring Z back from the dark. Despite her best efforts, things aren't getting any better. She decides she and Nalla need to leave.

As the plot develops, Z realizes what is happening and he knows he needs to reconnect with his shellan. He has to come to terms with his past and embrace his future. The obstacles are great, the journey is paved with sorrow, and yet at the end of the path is pure and complete joy! The feels are immense!

“I love you . . .” he whispered. “Please don’t leave me.”

Bella and Z are by far my favorite BDB couple. I absolutely adored this novella. I only wish I could read more of Bella and Z! If you are fan of this series, don't skip this novella!

Profile Image for Jilly.
1,838 reviews6,163 followers
January 11, 2016
A short story about Zsadist and Bella right after they had Nalla. I like that we see Z still struggling with his past. It isn't realistic to think that someone can immediately heal after so many years of abuse and then reactive self-protection. You can also see both sides of their story really well. Bella is going through a lot with a new baby and a broken husband. She wins a lot of points for her strength.

Profile Image for Mel.
330 reviews515 followers
June 29, 2010
A sweet little story about Zsadist coming to terms with fatherhood.
Ward did an excellent job of portraying both Zsadist's and Bella's insecurities about their new roles in life.
Bella is like we've come to know (and love) her: both understanding and tough, while trying to guide Zsadist. The secondary characters -Doc Jane, Mary and Dr Franklin- played small but very important roles in helping Zsadist realize his past doesn't have to influence his future.
An excellent addition to the Black Dagger Brotherhood series.
Profile Image for Pilar ☽.
194 reviews173 followers
February 25, 2016
Aaaaw! I've missed Bella and Zsadist so much! I loved this one, I'm so glad J.R. Ward wrote a short book about my favorite couple and Brother. After finishing Lover Awakened I just couldn't get enough of them. I don't know why I haven't read this before, how could I ignore Zsadist as a father? By the way, that was SO cute and heartwarming! God, I'm so obsessed with the Black Dagger Brotherhood series, I'll probably read the next book now. Once you start with this series, there's no going back.
Profile Image for P .
687 reviews320 followers
May 27, 2015
Father Mine เป็นเรื่องของซาดิสท์และเบลล่า ในเล่ม Lover Awakened ซาดิสท์ได้เอาชนะอดีตของเขาเพื่อที่จะมอบความรักให้กับเบลล่าผู้เป็นเชลแลนของเขาจนได้ พอมาในเล่มนี้ ซาดิสท์ก็ต้องพยายามต่อสู้กับอดีตเพื่อที่จะสามารถรักลูกสาวของเขาให้ได้เช่นเดียวกัน

ไม่คิดว่าคนอย่างซาดิสท์เวลาหลงลูกสาวนี่จะน่ารักเอ���มากๆ ตอนแรกก็ไม่กล้าอุ้มลูกตัวเองเพราะความอับอายในอดีตของเขา จนกระทั่งตอนซีสั่งข้อความไปหาเบลล่าว่า “I’m so sorry. I love you. Please forgive me. Can’t live without you.” น้ำตาเราแทบไหล คือในเนื้อเรื่องมันบิวท์มาดีมากและรู้ว่าทั้งคู่มีปัญหากันจริงๆ ถึงเบลล่าจะรักซาดิสท์ แต่ขีวิตของทั้งคู่ก็ไม่มีกันแค่สองคนอีกต่อไป อย่างที่เบลล่าบอกว่า ... เธอต้องเลือกสิ่งที่ดีที่สุดให้กับลูกสาวของเธอ

เราเก็บเรื่องสั้นเรื่องนี้ไว้เป็นปีๆ ไม่กล้าเอามาอ่านเพราะกลัวจะไม่มีอะไรที่เกี่ยวกับ BDB ให้อ่าน และก็ได้ฤกษ์มาอ่านช่วงปีใหม่ 2015 นี่แหละ (อ่านพลางๆ ระหว่างรอ The Shadows ออก) Father Mine เป็นเรื่องสั้นประมาณ 100 หน้า แต่อ่านแล้วอารมณ์มาครบจริงๆ ทั้งเรื่องซาดิสท์กับเบลล่า และเรื่องของคุณหมอ T.W. ที่ประทับใจไม่แพ้กัน

Profile Image for Jennifer Kyle.
2,378 reviews4,627 followers
October 10, 2014

BDB Fans this novella is not to be skipped!

Father Mine is less than ninety pages and held so much heart break, love and hope.

This female cried sad tears and happy tears as my favorite couple of the brotherhood struggled with the scars of their past and the beauty of their present.

”Of all the places she’d ever been, this was the best one. Right here. With the two of them.”

”Yes he felt exactly the same. This was his favorite place, too.”

Profile Image for Ren Puspita.
1,129 reviews921 followers
March 28, 2023
Happily Ever After is not finished after marriage, and I absolutely agree with this!!

Note : Must read Lover Awakened first, so you will understand Father Mine.

I really love this story. In Father Mine, J.R.Ward tell Zsadist's worry on his daughter Nalla and Bella's feeling. Bella feel Zsadist was so distant from her.

Zsadist still have his trauma because his past with Mistress. He doesn't want Nalla to know his cruel past,and he think he can't be a good father to her. He can't touch Nalla, and always have nightmares. Afraid he still in Mistress's cage and cannot save Nalla

Bella of course can't accept Zsadist's act to Nalla. She is his daughter after all. Furthermore, she decide to go out from Brotherhood Mansion and tell her brother Rehvenge, to live with him. Knowing that, Zsadist panicked and try to prevent her to left him. But something bad happen,which finally unite this couple. And finally Zsadist try to become good father to Nalla

J.R.Ward is great (eventhough I dissapointed with Lover Enshrined). Again she touch my heart, and make me cry with this afterstory. Zsadist will always be my favorite Brothers. Because even with his horrible part, he never give iup to have his own family and happy ending.

For Zsadist's fans, this is a must read for you!
Profile Image for Paola.
771 reviews37 followers
July 29, 2019
Zsadist is my favorite brother of the black dagger brotherhood, so reading more about him is a guilty pleasure of mine, I'm thrilled to read that he is overcoming his past and is starting to feel whole again, this is a must read if you love him as much as I do.
Profile Image for When Funmi Met Romance.
128 reviews274 followers
July 18, 2012
Reread: I really am in a novel nostalgic mood because I keep rereading books that are my favorite. I almost never really reread. Not to mention, I'm not a fan of J.R.Ward, in fact I don't like her books. However, Zsadist and Bella captured the hell out of my heart. Their book is like the pinnacle of a tortured hero redemption book. Its one of the best stories I have ever read. This little novella just cemented that belief. I love how JR keeps it real. Zsadist and Bella have a hell of a time trying to achieve happiness but somehow they do. Although this book is way unrealistic and can never manifest itself into reality, at the core it speaks to me. Its speaks volumes about how people are so much stronger than they know. People can get through the toughest times, and though its hard, happiness is attainable. Loveeee this story

First read; June 25, 2011

This little novella at best was amazing. J.R.Ward is a one of a kind writer. Her books are akin to movies only twice as stimulating. I literally feel the emotion she writes as my stomach wretches during the intense scenes and my heart flutters at the love. I could go on and on but chances are if you read this amazing little short story you are well aware of the talented Ward, and this galacticly amazing couple she created.
Zsadist and Bella are in my opinion so beautiful, and so real, i can dang near see them. I see them and their life clearer than any romance book. Often, romance books give you a hazy picture of everything in your mind. However, Ward's Zsadist and Bella's life is like watching a blu ray movie on a Digital High Definition Flat Plasma Screan TV. Its clear as day. Many times in Romance, heroines and heroes go through hell and high waters but are all peachy keen in the end. However, Ward has penned a couple that is glaringly imperfect and a product of their torturous past. Yet, she writes a realistic Happily Ever After. This little short gives the readers so much closure and pleasure. I have no doubt that anyone reading this is craaaaazy emotionally invested in Zsadist and Bella. I know I am, to the point of absurdity.

It sucks though, Ward has created the only Romance Couple that I want to have a never ending series. I could read about the small nuances of Zsadist and Bella's life forever. Everything between them is special, from eating, to showers, to laughs. I know this is meant to give closure, but when a person creates such a perfect couple there is no such thing as closure. Great story, will be read, and reread, until the corners of the internet pages are worn in my kindle :p
Profile Image for Jamie (TheRebelliousReader).
3,130 reviews31 followers
September 15, 2018
5 stars. This was absolutely beautiful. J.R Ward managed to get me emotional in less than 100 pages. Brava!

It goes without saying that Zsadist has been my favorite character since the beginning so I was really excited to read this. But I'm not going to lie, I have never wanted to slap the hell out of Z as much as I did at the beginning of this story. I understood his reasoning and his fears, yes, but that detachment made my blood boil I was so angry with him. I felt terrible for Bella and Nalla. I just wanted to shake him and tell him to get his ish together! Bella is a trooper and such an amazing character. Kudos to her for sticking it out cause I would've lost my mind.

Then of course in typical Ward fashion, she flipped it around and fixed it and even managed to make me cry in the end. Bella and Z have such a wonderful relationship and it kinda sucked seeing them go through their grievances but I feel like it definitely made them stronger and brought them closer together.

Listen, Z bonding with baby Nalla was almost the death of me. It was everything. My heart hurts from all the cuteness.

Also, side note but I appreciated all of the Rhage appearances in this because lord knows he doesn't show up nearly enough for my taste in the series so that was an added bonus.

Overall, do I think this is a necessary read? Um, hell yes absolutely! Especially if you're a fan of Z. It's further development for his character and that's always a plus.
Profile Image for Patty ~ Wrapped Up In Reading Book Blog.
1,260 reviews9,963 followers
September 5, 2013
Zsadist has always been my favorite black dagger brother.
His and Bella's story was absolutely freaking fabulous.
I loved Zsadist because he was such a broken soul but had the most love to give.
Bella brings that love out of him.
She makes him feel loved and whole.
What I really love most about this series, besides the hot sex, is to these men, their Shellans are their entire universe.
Their Shellans truly do complete them and they take pride in caring for their Shellans.

I also loved that Bella, despite her Glymera upbringing, still saw right into Zsadist's soul.
She looked beyond the horrible tattoos and scars.
She saw the beautiful soul inside.

I always love it when the male lead is broken deep inside but still finds enough in himself to love so fiercely.

Zsadist and Bella have a four month old daughter, Nalla.
Zsadist refuses to go near her.
Nalla, even though an infant, can sense her fathers withdrawal.
Z is afraid his ugly past as a blood slave to the mistress, will somehow taint Nalla.
This is why he's distanced himself from her.
I loved Z so much more in this novella.
I loved the ending!!!
FIVE perfect stars!!!:)
Profile Image for Audrey.
1,306 reviews88 followers
July 1, 2021
I finished this on my flight to Spain. When I started it, back in the States lol, I found myself not connecting to the story well or caring about what was going on, which is weird because I really like Bella and Zdasist. It could just be that reading on Kindle felt jarring after reading all these paperback/hardcover library books, especially since I've read the last couple of Black Dagger Brotherhood books from the library.

Luckily, when I picked it up again on the flight, I enjoyed the story more and found the ending especially tender and cute. Tears were even brought to my eyes at one point! I loved the whole scene with the Head of Dermatology at Jane's old hospital (still feel like she got cheated out of her HEA...😌). I loved hearing how Bella looked from an outsider's perspective, found that interesting.
However, not going to lie, but the sex scenes did absolutely nothing to me. But maybe that was partially because I was sitting next to this guy on the plane and I was worried he was going to see what I was reading...
24 reviews
March 8, 2009
Okay, so I alread said that Z is my fave...and that his book is well worth reading. This story falls in that same realm. Father Mine takes place after the last chapter of Lover Awakened, but before the epiloge. This is the story of how Z continues to grew as a person now that Bella has given birth to their daughter. He goes through the same issues of self doubt in being a good and caring father. So much so that he avoids his daughter, thinking it would be better that she didn't know his past and how "damaged" he is. Bella helps him again in finding peace with himself. This is a short story, but ends on such a high note, it will warm your heart.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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