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Hammer Time

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Danger is my middle name.

Just kidding—it’s Bergljot.

Sigrdrifa Bergljot Jones.

But don’t call me that—I go by Val. My dad is Thor and my dear mother was human ... which makes me a demi, or half-goddess and half-human.

Of course, I got the shaft on the half-goddess part. I’ve got no powers and work in the human world—Home Depot, to be exact.

But, I’m needed back in the godly realms—to break into a supernatural prison to save my best friend. I never thought I’d put ‘get arrested’ on my to-do list … but some dickhead gods need to be dealt with.

And how do you deal with dickhead gods?

By stealing Thor’s hammer and magical goats, making a special Visine drink, and getting the God of Shit on your side … as well as a demi, a concussed guard, and an amazing human.

These dickhead gods won’t know what hit them.

Everyone can just stop—it’s HAMMER TIME!

WARNING: This is a reverse harem romantic prison comedy intended for ages 18+. If you are easily offended by the mockery of ancient deities or potty humor, get off the pot—this one’s not for you.

314 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 28, 2020

148 people are currently reading
187 people want to read

About the author

M.J. Marstens

65 books657 followers
Bestselling author M.J. Marstens mixes romance, suspense, comedy, and sassy characters who can say whatever they are thinking because it is just a story. When she is not creating steamy scenes or laugh-out-loud fiascos, she is refereeing her four children that she homeschools. In her free time, she loves to eat, sleep, and pray that her children do not turn out like the characters she writes about in her books.

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5 stars
157 (46%)
4 stars
94 (27%)
3 stars
55 (16%)
2 stars
23 (6%)
1 star
10 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 84 reviews
Profile Image for ❀ Crystal ✿ -  PEACE ☮ LOVE ♥ BOOKS .
2,532 reviews308 followers
January 29, 2021
After reading Motherf*cker I think I've fallen in love with these authors and had to give this one a try. I'll admit their works will only resonate with those who have a really sick and twisted psyche/sense of humor, like me. :) It's crude, disgusting at times and absolutely hilarious but will not be for everyone. This story follows the daughter of Thor who is a demigod as her mother was a human. Unfortunately Val lacks any powers from her father and lives a more regular life than that of her siblings. She was raised in the realm of the gods but now resides with the humans so everyday she learns something new. When a dear friend of hers is thrown in a supernatural prison by the horrid Sun God Ra, she takes it as her duty to free him. With the help of a friend and crush her bright idea is to get thrown in the prison herself and the rest will work itself out as she goes. It also helps that she borrows her dad's hammer which when asked nicely can turn into the size of a bobby pin. There she meets the rest of her harem and things really take off from there. By the end I still did not have a clear picture on who each of her men were but with all the laughs I did not mind. Given the book opens with the POV of a dung beetle, AKA a God of literal shit, I knew I was in for a hell of a read. At times I think the humor felt a little forced but if I'm being honest, with this type of book it was completely fine. You can't go into this expecting a serious read or it's lightheartedness ridiculous nature will not work. I will say I did not love it as much as Motherf*cker but I still enjoyed the shit out of it, pun intended. If poop jokes bother you you probably want to skip this one. But if you're looking for a totally fun outrageous RH standalone then look no further.
Profile Image for Rachel.
248 reviews31 followers
July 3, 2023
As usual, M.J. continues to write stories that stratal the line between utterly ridiculous and entertaining it's the thing I love and hate most about her writing.
This story was entertaining and all the poop jokes and God puns were fun, up to a point. However, I lost interest by around 75%, mostly because the guys were just not doing it for me.

I wanted to love it I really did 😞
Profile Image for Natalie  H.
3,796 reviews30 followers
May 30, 2020
I liked it but probably not as much as I would any other day. Escaped an over the top dick humour book and read an over the top poop humour book instead. That’s just my luck. Mixed god pantheons, imprisoned demi gods and a woman with her father’s hammer. Multiple POV. I liked all the guys, glad to see what happened to Raiden. A fun read.
Profile Image for Mabel.
238 reviews1 follower
July 27, 2020
I wanted to love this but couldn’t. It felt too disjointed, which took me out of the flow of things.

One example of this would be Val’s stance on not dating full Gods – It felt like it came out of nowhere, and even the explanation given for it felt unsatisfactory on account of it going nowhere. Anything being “solved” by the power of horniness and never again being touched upon is unsatisfactory. If you removed it from the book, literally nothing but the page count would suffer, and even that would be a single page at best.

It’s as random as Tupac’s training scene. It just felt pointless, since it certainly didn’t lead to any special action during the final showdown. It was wholly unnecessary padding that only made me wonder if anyone died in the final ensuing fire, since even if they paid to have the gym to themselves, staff should still be around.

Then there’s the tiny stuff, like Raiden having an entire paragraph towards the end of the book dedicated to describing his inexperience at winking, something he did in an earlier chapter (Raiden rolls his eyes at me and winks. “That’s what I meant, sorry.”) And somehow, Dev’s entire thing about hacking and creating websites to mess with gods doesn’t at all match with the bit about “when’s the last time you Googled a Shinto god?” Also, did Val ever give Mjölnir back to Thor?

It’s the kind of thing that a capable editor would have dealt with, but because none was involved with this book, it ended up feeling like something of a sloppy mishmash. One that not even the humor both authors are known for can save.
Profile Image for Alice.
1,899 reviews103 followers
September 23, 2020
While the world was interesting and the beginning of the book set up to a great adventure, all the literal potty humor and the insta-lust to sex with the different male characters in the novel made little sense to me. There were also way too many new abilities and secrets revealed in way too little time - I ended up skimming a lot to just finish the book.

However, if you're looking for a very light read with ridiculous shenanigans, this book will fulfill that.
Profile Image for Brianna Belbin.
478 reviews15 followers
June 1, 2020
This book had me laughing like a crazy woman! Honestly, all I knew about this book was that it contained mythology and a god of shit- sign me up! In this mythology mashup world, Ra controls all and demigods are seen as abominations. They’re thrown in prison with the key thrown away for all eternity... until Val, Thor’s demigod daughter. With the help of Khepri, the god of shit, Tupac, a sun demigod, Raiden, a concussed god of thunder and lightning, and Dev, a techy human, the prison break is on. I really loved Val’s personality and humor. She thinks that any physical touching is considered sexual harassment thanks to the handy dandy Home Depot employee handbook. Khepri has some very awesomely gross powers, but the shit puns made me laugh every single time. Tupac was probably my favorite out of all of the men, mainly because he was confident in his own undies and had weird ways of trying to woo/ court Val. Raiden originally is a typical snobbish god, but his character developed the most throughout the story. The stuff he said when he had a concussion was hilarious and made him a close second favorite for me. Dev was an amazing guy who would do anything for Val even though he had no special powers- he always put her first. I liked that Mjölnir, Tanngrisnir, and Tanngnjóstr were given personalities and how much they liked Val. Ann and MJ did an incredible co-write that flowed seemlessly between each character and it was practically impossible to tell where which one’s writing began and ended. I hope to see a sequel soon or another story in this world from another demigod’s POV!
*I received a free copy in exchange for an honest review
Profile Image for Jackles.
831 reviews11 followers
May 30, 2020
If you’re nothing more that an adult-child, like me, you’ll love this book!

Loved it!!! If MJ Marstens and Ann Denton got together and made a book baby, Hammer Time is what you’d get.. oh wait, that’s exactly what happened!!! This book was so much fun; so many perfect poop jokes for all of us adult-children 🙃.
Profile Image for Lauren.
717 reviews
June 2, 2020
Fun and humorous twist on gods and goddesses

This book was full of laugh out loud moments that had me chuckling and plenty of “crappy” jokes (it’s punny). I loved the twist on all the different cultures’ Gods and Goddesses while adding a modern twist.

Even though this book incited bouts of laughs and chuckles, I was intrigued by all the different myths pertaining to all the deities in this book, especially the ones that I have never heard of before. The footnotes were hilarious to read too. It had plenty of snark and wit but still was informative.

This was a great standalone by 2 authors. I couldn’t even tell that it was co-authored. The flow of the story was seamless and never seemed choppy or disorganized. I definitely recommend this to anyone wanting a quick and steamy standalone read.
Profile Image for Noemi.
1,286 reviews
December 12, 2020
I had super high expectations for this book. The blurb was amazing and it hooked me from the first line.

Unfortunately, I was left somehow disappointed. Everything in the story happened so fast, one thing after the other. I don't know if it was done this way as it is a standalone book, but I thought the author could have slowed down a little bit, and gave the reader time to process what was happening in the story.

It's set as a comedy, from page one 'till the end, and I think that is what the authors focused more. Sure if you want to just have a laugh, then this is the book for you, but I would have loved to see a little bit more of characters' and events' building. Some of my questions about the story were left unanswered, but I'm still giving it a 3-star for the humorous elements that made me laugh.
Profile Image for Amanda Crossland.
1,172 reviews13 followers
May 29, 2022
Funny with a side of romance

I liked how the comedy kept rolling in this book. I liked how the fmc grew into her own as a Demi goddess. The plot was ok. There was a lot that happened and there was a few key details that were missed in the action that confused me. I had to flip a few pages back to see if I missed something. It also was written in a way that made me feel like the action in this book was only a few days long. It started off great and I couldn’t put it down. Along the way tho, the urgency with the need to know what was happening slowly died. It’s fast pace didn’t make it feel believable even in the paranormal world. If this book was drawn out a bit, fleshed out some areas, I think this could have easily been a 5 star. The highlight for me was definitely the comedy. Lol
363 reviews5 followers
June 1, 2020
This book was one wild ride, between all the shit jokes and just the characters themselves I have never really read something like this before. I've read books by both these authors before and putting them together was an amazing idea because this book had me dying laughing the majority of the time. I loved that this book has gods from all over mythology that plays parts in this book, it was great seeing all these gods existing in one world. The characters were so random and over the top but they completely made the whole story because you just wanted to know what crazy thing they were going to do next. I loved every second of this book and I hope these authors write more books together, in this world or another really don't care they just need to write any book together.
Profile Image for Daphnne.
1,312 reviews8 followers
May 30, 2020
Funny, quirky read

So if you're looking for a funny read with some childish humor and an easy read this is the book for you. It didn't have too much story to it honestly- the potential was there but it was a bit of a miss for me. So why give it 3 stars you wonder? Because it was a highly entertaining book despite the lack of story. There's some potty humor but it took me back to my childhood and I had fun reading it. It was also well written as far as flow and grammar. If you want something light that will put you in a good mood then pick this up.
445 reviews3 followers
May 31, 2020
Holy crap....... what a hilarious well written twist on Gods and Demigods. I was laughing the entire time I read this book. Val the daughter of Thor is a super independent, strong female lead that loves her humanity side but when someone messes with her friends she will do whatever it takes to save them. She meets her men when she puts herself in prison by causing chaos with the gods. The twists and turns in this book are so unexpected and will knock your socks off while you roll around laughing. Such a unique storyline! Way to go Ann Denton and MJ Marstens!
Profile Image for Taylor O  Dyrda.
95 reviews4 followers
June 2, 2020
This is definitely not your typical RH book. It has a sh!t ton of humor rather than a whole bunch of sex. You have one guy who only thinks of sex, in what I’d call a “teenager fascination” even though he’s 400 years old. You got another who is literally the god of sh!t, so there’s definitely jokes about that. There’s one who gets concussed and forgets everything, so there’s the childish humor going on.
You’ve got Norse gods, Egyptian gods, Greek gods, it’s a weird mix, but it works in this book.

MJ Marstens and Ann Denton did a fantastic job with this standalone RH novel!
171 reviews
June 4, 2020
So rarely do I find a book where I laugh out loud. I laughed so much I had tears in my eyes. I loved this book. It is perfect timing for all that is going on in the world right now, this book is fun, sweet, sexy, it has it all. So beyond the humor, which for me was the biggest thing. The sex scenes are smokin but there is definitely some humor thrown in there too...the story is wonderfully different than any others than I have read in the past and the characters are great. I recommend this if you need and uplifting read.
Profile Image for Mrs R.
1,417 reviews19 followers
June 4, 2020
I liked this book enough to read to the end. You need to take it as it is, it's a light hearted, humourous take on the life of the gods.
My knowledge of mythology was non-existent but its all explained in the book how everyone is connected.
Val needs to break her best friend out of demi-God prison and managed to pick up several men to help along the way. It's full of childish humour, enough dung to fill several farms and hot men.
Well written and the world building was bizarre but entertaining.
I guarantee it is nothing like any other book you have ever read.
156 reviews
June 5, 2020
Sooo Funny

I loved this book! I feel like I haven’t seen a lot of Egyptian reverse harem books so this was a refreshing change. I thought it was quirky and funny, and I will definitely read again. Can’t wait to find out what happens in book 2! If you’re not a fan of poo jokes, you might want to stay away from this one. One of the characters is the god of poo, and there are a lot of jokes related to that, but I found it amusing. I do feel like it could have been fleshed out a little bit more, but I can’t say that I felt it was lacking. Give this book a chance!
72 reviews
June 18, 2020
Ha! Cute story with a lot of laughs

I really enjoyed this story. I just finished up a dark romance before this and needed something light and funny and this definitely met the bill. There is a lot of potty humor, as promised in the description, but it was a cute story. I loved how the authors tried to incorporate other languages, pantheons, and histories. The footnotes section may have been my favorite part! If you do not/did not read it AS you are reading through the book, you are definitely missing out! I highly recommend this book!!!
Profile Image for Kelsey.
142 reviews3 followers
January 10, 2023
Dnf at 53%
I appreciate humor in books, but there has to be some sort of emotional connection for me too. I felt like all the characters behaved like 15 year Olds, it was just a bunch of immature humor. Plot was meh but I had to force myself to get as far as I did. I laughed a couple times, and I hate to be negative about books because I know how much work goes into them, but the best description I can think of for this book is that it was dumb. No intelligent humor, no wit, just middle school jokes and that's about it.
Profile Image for Lindsey Curtin.
135 reviews1 follower
May 29, 2020
Funny YA Reverse Harem

I'm not gonna lie, I read this book having zero idea what it was about but I like the authors so I thought I'd try it out AND...

It was totally worth the reading!! If you like Sarah J Maas, Tijan, CJ Crawford, Leia Stone, then this is right up your alley!

The main character is funny and lighthearted, it's a quick fun read! Thor is her father and it's a fun little twist to the well known Marvel character!!
Profile Image for Kelly Wheeler.
219 reviews1 follower
May 30, 2020
So much fun

This stand-alone was so much fun and very funny . Well written by two fantastic authors , we delve into the world of gods and goddesses on an epic journey to fight back against tyranny....and make a ton of potty jokes while they are at it ,which were surprisingly funny , and I generally don’t enjoy that type of humor, so you can imagine how clever the jokes had to actually be to make it enjoyable ! Definitely a five star read , don’t miss out !
Profile Image for Emelie Comeault.
204 reviews3 followers
June 3, 2020
So Good!!!!

I laughed a lot! This book was not what I was expecting but wow! I never knew I needed these two authors to write together before but now that I have read their creation I need more! It was super funny and action packed and also damn sexy. I really really hope these two authors write more together. I cannot live without their humorous abilities! Definately a one-click read!
55 reviews1 follower
July 5, 2020
Funny, quirky, and dirty

Seriously, I don't just mean sexy dirty although there is plenty of that in this quirky, playful reverse harem. I mean poop dirty (not as a kink tho). I love how undervalued Khepri is because he's a God of Poop. It comes in way handier than you'd expect. 🤣

Loved this playful cowrite between MJ and Ann, and if you're down for some dirty, over-the-top humour you'll love this book too.
Profile Image for Kit.
1,517 reviews17 followers
December 17, 2020
Read : December 17, 2020
Rating : 3,5 terrible punny Stars

This was something.. It definitely made me laugh but in a over the top, stop, this is too much kinda way.

There's poop puns galore, lots of terrible innuendo and a very easily resolved "big problem".

I liked that this didn't just have the major deities but some lesser known/unknown as well.

If you're looking for something lighthearted and low drama then this is it.
Profile Image for Betteroffwithbooks.
921 reviews14 followers
March 11, 2021
I don’t know how to feel about this book. I didn’t hate it but I didn’t love it either. It was definitely funny and constantly had me laughing but I really didn’t get attached to the characters like I hoped I would. Honestly, my favorite character in the whole book was Thor and he was a side character. If you’re looking for a book to waste time and give you some laughs to help decompress it’s worth the read.
Profile Image for Gabby Davis.
11 reviews
May 30, 2020
I love this book

Ok let me start this by saying I love all of MJ's books. I have read one or two of Ann's and so far this is my favorite. I love all the shit puns and you can really tell they had fun with this book. It's exactly what I needed lately to make me laugh. Well done ladies.
Profile Image for Alexis Austin.
44 reviews
May 30, 2020
This book was amazing!!! The whole story overall and the romance that happens with it was so good. I literally could not put the book down because I was trying to see what was going to happen next. I also at the beginning was a little confused but if you continue to read you will get a better understanding and your questions answered.
1,281 reviews5 followers
May 31, 2020
Funny as hell

This book had me laughing from beginning to end, I loved it. Val is a kickass character. Her men.are as different as night from day and seeing them interact with each other is hilarious.

I hope these two wonderful authors will cowrite together again as this has to be, hands down, the hilarious and entertaining story I've read in a while.
Profile Image for Heather ANN.
149 reviews
June 2, 2020
What???!!

This was so amazingly funny! So smash all types of gods and goddesses, demigods and one little human all into a hilarious action packed book. What comes out is puns for days, sassy butt kicking daughter of Thor and shitty Egyptian gods (pun intended)! Pick up this book if you just need to laugh and smile real hard. Highly recommend!
108 reviews
June 3, 2020
I really enjoyed this book! I liked the representation of all types of different mythology and gods and goddesses, it was interesting to learn and read about. I liked the characters and the world-building. Val and her men were so ridiculously funny, that it had me laughing non-stop. I recommend for a quick, fun read!
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