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Becoming Attached: First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love
The struggle to understand the parent-child bond ranks as one of the great quests of modern psychology, one that touches us deeply because it holds so many clues to how we become who we are. How are our personalities formed? How do our early struggles with our parents reappear in the way we relate to others as adults?
In Becoming Attached, Robert Karen offers fresh insight into some of the most fundamental issues of emotional life. He explores such questions as:
* What do children need to feel that the world is a positive place and that they have value?
* What are the risks of day care for children under one year of age, and what can parents do to manage those risks?
* What experiences in infancy will enable a person to develop healthy relationships as an adult?
Becoming Attached is not just a voyage of discovery in child emotional development and its pertinence to adult life but a voyage of personal discovery as well, for it is impossible to read this book without reflecting on one's own life as a child, a parent, and an intimate partner in love or marriage.
In Becoming Attached, Robert Karen offers fresh insight into some of the most fundamental issues of emotional life. He explores such questions as:
* What do children need to feel that the world is a positive place and that they have value?
* What are the risks of day care for children under one year of age, and what can parents do to manage those risks?
* What experiences in infancy will enable a person to develop healthy relationships as an adult?
Becoming Attached is not just a voyage of discovery in child emotional development and its pertinence to adult life but a voyage of personal discovery as well, for it is impossible to read this book without reflecting on one's own life as a child, a parent, and an intimate partner in love or marriage.
512 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1994
198 people are currently reading
9716 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 94 reviews
January 21, 2011
Still the best book on attachment theory for the lay reader, in my opinion. This should be required reading in every intro psych course, for all policy makers, family law attorneys and judges, and for anyone contemplating parenthood.
The book is, suprisingly, not dated, given it is more than 12 years old and given the pace of recent new knowledge in brain science. In fact, developments in neuroscience since this book came out have continued, for the most part, to substantiate Bowlby and Ainsworth's initial basic insights. See, for example, Louis Cozolina's The Neuroscience of Human Relationships: Attachment and the Developing Social Brain (2006). Also, if you are interested in a more detailed and scientific (and more recent) rendering of the work of Alan Sroufe (whose ongoing research features prominently in the latter half of this book) see The Development of the Person: The Minnesota Study of Risk and Adaptation from Birth to Adulthood. That book, however, is NOT for the lay reader.
Only one caveat, which I think is not severe enough to warrant removing a star: Karen is trained in classical psychoanalysis, and he can't resist what I can only describe as an occasional Freudian/Kleinian fugue, which seems utterly out of place here. My advice is to just power through those bits, or skip them entirely.
The book is, suprisingly, not dated, given it is more than 12 years old and given the pace of recent new knowledge in brain science. In fact, developments in neuroscience since this book came out have continued, for the most part, to substantiate Bowlby and Ainsworth's initial basic insights. See, for example, Louis Cozolina's The Neuroscience of Human Relationships: Attachment and the Developing Social Brain (2006). Also, if you are interested in a more detailed and scientific (and more recent) rendering of the work of Alan Sroufe (whose ongoing research features prominently in the latter half of this book) see The Development of the Person: The Minnesota Study of Risk and Adaptation from Birth to Adulthood. That book, however, is NOT for the lay reader.
Only one caveat, which I think is not severe enough to warrant removing a star: Karen is trained in classical psychoanalysis, and he can't resist what I can only describe as an occasional Freudian/Kleinian fugue, which seems utterly out of place here. My advice is to just power through those bits, or skip them entirely.
December 19, 2008
I really enjoyed this book and read it with fervour of a good novel. Taking us from the dark days when babies were thought to be mere blobs who had no thoughts or feelings. Psychology was purely behaviourist, a baby crying was considered a random act that if responded to would re-enforce the behaviour, resulting in a spoiled cry baby. These pernicious parenting ideas still exist today and they could not be further from the truth.
My heart wrenched with the stories of traumatised children who were separated from their mothers because of long stays in hospitals where parents were not allowed to visit regularly if at all. Orphanages where children's only human contact was having nappies changed and being fed with a bottle. Hygiene and nutrition were seen as the most important factors. The children's health would rapidly decline and they would fall into a deep depression, stop eating and in some cases die. It was as if those who took care of the children stop listening to their human instincts because the truth is too terrible to face.
Karen covers the main movers and shakers in attachment theory and research, Bowlby and Anisworth, both of whom caused enormous controversy with their ideas and research. Theories which now inform parenting advise and child social policy. Its hard to believe that it was such a shocking idea to think that a human child needs to form a close and loving relationship with one consistent care giver if they are to develop a solid internal working model of what a loving relationship is.
He constantly relates the early experiences children have with their Mothers to what makes us who we are what we need to form healthy relationships in our adult lives. The childcare debate is also covered which is as controversial, is it damaging? What age should a child be put in too childcare? What age is too young?
His style of writing is jargon free and accessible without dumbing down, I felt I remembered a lot more of the facts because of this. We find out more than just theory but what type of person was Bowlby and Ainsworth, what kind of childhood experiences did they have. Professional allegiances and rivalries are explored, all of which adds to the fascinating exploration.
I shall be reading more of his work.
My heart wrenched with the stories of traumatised children who were separated from their mothers because of long stays in hospitals where parents were not allowed to visit regularly if at all. Orphanages where children's only human contact was having nappies changed and being fed with a bottle. Hygiene and nutrition were seen as the most important factors. The children's health would rapidly decline and they would fall into a deep depression, stop eating and in some cases die. It was as if those who took care of the children stop listening to their human instincts because the truth is too terrible to face.
Karen covers the main movers and shakers in attachment theory and research, Bowlby and Anisworth, both of whom caused enormous controversy with their ideas and research. Theories which now inform parenting advise and child social policy. Its hard to believe that it was such a shocking idea to think that a human child needs to form a close and loving relationship with one consistent care giver if they are to develop a solid internal working model of what a loving relationship is.
He constantly relates the early experiences children have with their Mothers to what makes us who we are what we need to form healthy relationships in our adult lives. The childcare debate is also covered which is as controversial, is it damaging? What age should a child be put in too childcare? What age is too young?
His style of writing is jargon free and accessible without dumbing down, I felt I remembered a lot more of the facts because of this. We find out more than just theory but what type of person was Bowlby and Ainsworth, what kind of childhood experiences did they have. Professional allegiances and rivalries are explored, all of which adds to the fascinating exploration.
I shall be reading more of his work.
February 3, 2012
I was pleasantly surprised at how readable Karen's writing style is. The book is essentially a slow walk through the history of attachment history, from the beginnings of the field through the early 90s. I appreciated Karen's care in pointing out the potentially racist, classist, and sexist pitfalls in the work and either acknowledges them or explains the intent.
After finishing the book, many of the specific studies and details are blurred but the key points are easy to articulate:
*Babies need loving care in order to form secure attachments
*These secure attachments provide a "home base" from which to safely explore their world
Perhaps the most disquieting concept for me was the push for children to stay at home with a parent at least until their first birthday. In a country where 3 months of unpaid maternity leave is considered generous, my heart breaks for all the parents and children who get stuck between the harsh realities of the world and what the experts think is best for babies. Karen is sympathetic to this plight but there are no easy answers.
I would love to see another book covering what has happened in the field in the last 20 years to see what new insights have been gained.
After finishing the book, many of the specific studies and details are blurred but the key points are easy to articulate:
*Babies need loving care in order to form secure attachments
*These secure attachments provide a "home base" from which to safely explore their world
Perhaps the most disquieting concept for me was the push for children to stay at home with a parent at least until their first birthday. In a country where 3 months of unpaid maternity leave is considered generous, my heart breaks for all the parents and children who get stuck between the harsh realities of the world and what the experts think is best for babies. Karen is sympathetic to this plight but there are no easy answers.
I would love to see another book covering what has happened in the field in the last 20 years to see what new insights have been gained.
January 24, 2014
interesting, unproven, too much focus on freudian analytics. i think we've arrived at a fairly good nature/nurture balance since this book was written in the early 90s. i also feel comforted that any parental hiccups during the first 18 months are not necessarily sentencing a child to misery.
the 3 categories (secure, avoidant, ambivalent) are too broad. also, in every example i can think of, to include myself, characteristics of all three have been in evidence over the course of a lifetime. i'm not sold, this is not how personality develops.
the 3 categories (secure, avoidant, ambivalent) are too broad. also, in every example i can think of, to include myself, characteristics of all three have been in evidence over the course of a lifetime. i'm not sold, this is not how personality develops.
May 4, 2025
Whew! This was a lengthy read – 25 hours of audio and worth literally every minute. It would have been helpful (an understatement) to have had this book as a resource when I was raising my children, although I doubt I would have had time to read it back then.
It would be wonderful if this material could be distilled into several classes with discussion groups to make it easier for young moms to learn and absorb the information. There could even be practice sessions for best ways to communicate with children (and in general).
This book ticks all the boxes for understanding the concept of how human beings acquire secure attachment (or not).
The author makes suggested government policies at the end of the book about which I have mixed feelings, but I understand that there is a need for better quality and easily accessible childcare.
Alternatively, there could be bigger and better incentives for parents to stay home and raise their own children with opportunities for instruction in how to develop secure attachment in one’s children. Many parents would actually like to be able to stay home with their children, at least part time, but cannot afford to do so. The amount of money that it would cost to install government daycare centers with highly trained and well compensated workers might be close to equivalent to the cost to subsidize a person to stay home and provide care for his or her child or grandchild, niece or nephew, etc.
Many if not most adults are functioning as insecurely attached humans, and that absolutely spills over onto their children unless we adults proactively strive to become securely attached ourselves. The book is an opportunity to not only learn and grow toward understanding attachment theory, but is an invitation to probe into one’s own childhood to understand why we behave and function as we do.
I think that every human on this planet should learn this material! It would serve to make the world a better place.
It would be wonderful if this material could be distilled into several classes with discussion groups to make it easier for young moms to learn and absorb the information. There could even be practice sessions for best ways to communicate with children (and in general).
This book ticks all the boxes for understanding the concept of how human beings acquire secure attachment (or not).
The author makes suggested government policies at the end of the book about which I have mixed feelings, but I understand that there is a need for better quality and easily accessible childcare.
Alternatively, there could be bigger and better incentives for parents to stay home and raise their own children with opportunities for instruction in how to develop secure attachment in one’s children. Many parents would actually like to be able to stay home with their children, at least part time, but cannot afford to do so. The amount of money that it would cost to install government daycare centers with highly trained and well compensated workers might be close to equivalent to the cost to subsidize a person to stay home and provide care for his or her child or grandchild, niece or nephew, etc.
Many if not most adults are functioning as insecurely attached humans, and that absolutely spills over onto their children unless we adults proactively strive to become securely attached ourselves. The book is an opportunity to not only learn and grow toward understanding attachment theory, but is an invitation to probe into one’s own childhood to understand why we behave and function as we do.
I think that every human on this planet should learn this material! It would serve to make the world a better place.
July 30, 2025
I listened on audio, and the narrator was incredibly monotone, so I took off a star for that.
Otherwise, this was an incredibly comprehensive and thorough history on attachment, which is my jam in therapy. Some of the information were things I learned in school and training since, but some of the information was new and way more in-depth, so I appreciated that.
I was also reminded that I don't love Freud, so there's that.
Oh, and the author called out Trump and the abomination of separating immigrant families, so points for that, as well!
Otherwise, this was an incredibly comprehensive and thorough history on attachment, which is my jam in therapy. Some of the information were things I learned in school and training since, but some of the information was new and way more in-depth, so I appreciated that.
I was also reminded that I don't love Freud, so there's that.
Oh, and the author called out Trump and the abomination of separating immigrant families, so points for that, as well!
October 4, 2013
Only problem is he gets too Freudian and I'm sorry but Bowlby and Piaget just knew more about child development than Freud did. I just don't buy penis envy or the Oedipus complex. If he spent less time on such nonsense we would KNOW that trauma can affect how a child develops for life ages ago!
September 12, 2013
In this wonderfully written account of the growth and development of attachment theory in psychology, Robert Karen patiently outlines the main figures and the competing schools of thought that went into the still-growing field explaining how children attain their sense of selves and their psychological development. In other hands, I could definitely see the long account of academic debates becoming tedious, but Karen guides the reader through the morass with a sure hand, drawing connections between figures like John Bowlby, Mary Ainsworth, and Alan Sroufe, and clearly detailing their research and theories. It's about a lot more than monkeys and their wire mothers--although that's touched upon as well--and it's all covered in meticulous, well-researched, but never overwhelming, detail.
Through this account, you get a multifaceted view of the way that early environments shape, and even distort, one's psyche. Throughout this sensitive book, one can't help but reflect on one's own past with a new perspective.
Thoroughly engaging on more than one level.
Through this account, you get a multifaceted view of the way that early environments shape, and even distort, one's psyche. Throughout this sensitive book, one can't help but reflect on one's own past with a new perspective.
Thoroughly engaging on more than one level.
April 25, 2012
Another book I "had" to read for my orgonomy class- but so glad I did. Karen does an excellent job with presenting clinical information, biographical information and intimate case studies. Very compelling and a mammoth presentation on attachment. It was a bit overwhelming at times and perhaps it is more intended for clinical audiences, but it was still very moving and brought many different thoughts to me about my own practice and my own motherhood. This book inspired me to write my own books on attachment and relationships such as "Til Love Do Us Part: Overcoming Emotional Blocks to Finding Love and Keeping It." An intense and thought provoking read and essential for those working in the field of natural health, emotions and psychology.
February 2, 2011
This book is absolutely fabulous. Everyone should read it before having children. Even if you have children, read it. It will break your heart, but it will enlighten you. Children are the most special of all beings and are to be treasured. Our relationships with them are so delicate, yet the strongest one may ever have. Seal the bond and create a strong attachment from the very beginning. It directly affects all future relationships.
November 25, 2018
I know that this was a lay reader’s volume on a long history of academic work, and I know that it was written to relay a vast amount of information, but getting myself to pick this up and make my way through it was never less than work for me. The information is clearly presented and well organized, and my supervisor recommended the book to me, so it might just be that my clinical interest lies elsewhere, but I really could not get into this one.
December 5, 2020
I usually end up picking up books to read either from listening to a podcast with the author on it or someone I found interesting who recommended a book, or from within a book I was reading. Becoming attached was no different as I heard about it in another book.
I didn’t really know about attachment theory prior to hearing about this book and thought it could be very interesting to read both as a topic to learn more about but also to understand myself better.
Now I think that I did get some good take away from the book and I have been able to relate information on the attachment theory to my own life, but also found the book very heavy in information to be honest.
The book really goes about the history of the attachment theory which I understand the reason behind it as it helps you understanding the theory better. How it came to be but also how it evolved over time. But I think maybe I was hoping to find out more about how can one address their attachment type to move into a more secure attachment type ultimately.
If that is what you are interesting in as well, though you will find very interesting information in this book and you shall gain insight about yourself which I appreciate myself, but your expectations might leave you a bit let down.
At times I found the book confusing from all the different people that were involved in the development and progress of the theory and there is very little to no information about how to reaching a more secure attachment level, at least from what I recall as I reflect on the book for my review.
All in all, a very interesting read, but it might leave you wanting more. At least if you consider that you may not have a secure attachment.
Enjoy your read!
I didn’t really know about attachment theory prior to hearing about this book and thought it could be very interesting to read both as a topic to learn more about but also to understand myself better.
Now I think that I did get some good take away from the book and I have been able to relate information on the attachment theory to my own life, but also found the book very heavy in information to be honest.
The book really goes about the history of the attachment theory which I understand the reason behind it as it helps you understanding the theory better. How it came to be but also how it evolved over time. But I think maybe I was hoping to find out more about how can one address their attachment type to move into a more secure attachment type ultimately.
If that is what you are interesting in as well, though you will find very interesting information in this book and you shall gain insight about yourself which I appreciate myself, but your expectations might leave you a bit let down.
At times I found the book confusing from all the different people that were involved in the development and progress of the theory and there is very little to no information about how to reaching a more secure attachment level, at least from what I recall as I reflect on the book for my review.
All in all, a very interesting read, but it might leave you wanting more. At least if you consider that you may not have a secure attachment.
Enjoy your read!
November 21, 2022
Too academic for my liking---but it was good to see that the policy of parenting that was around in the forties and fifties that suggested that parents not pick up or console a crying child has been well and truly discredited. DNF.
5/10
5/10
June 26, 2017
Becoming Attached by Robert Karen, Ph.D, was enjoyable. Like many reviewers before me, I found the writing easy to read/conversational. I don't seek out books like this, but the title, and later the text, drew me in because of my own struggles with attachment.
The first 50 pages or so read much like a biography of the psychoanalyst and founder of attachment theory, John Bowlby. Karen seemed to be making a case either for or against this pioneer. I was nearing the end of my patience, when the writing became interesting. The analysis of the rhesus monkey in relation to a mother object was particularly fascinating.
I wouldn't call Becoming Attached life-changing, but it helped to clarify some foggy memories of my own childhood...memories where words and actions by my parents didn't always coincide. The classification of a mother's parenting style was helpful.
Karen's conclusion was also enlightening: "Modern society...has taken us from...a life centered on the pleasures and pains of being connected to others. Our focus is often on other things...but the need for proximity, for felt security, for love; these basic themes of attachment are to some degree built into us biologically." Karen's book, through the writings and research of many behaviorists and psychoanalysts, helps to unlock and clarify this basic biology in us all. A biology that can go terribly wrong, in some cases. Through the works of Bowlby and others, however, there is more hope now than ever.
The first 50 pages or so read much like a biography of the psychoanalyst and founder of attachment theory, John Bowlby. Karen seemed to be making a case either for or against this pioneer. I was nearing the end of my patience, when the writing became interesting. The analysis of the rhesus monkey in relation to a mother object was particularly fascinating.
I wouldn't call Becoming Attached life-changing, but it helped to clarify some foggy memories of my own childhood...memories where words and actions by my parents didn't always coincide. The classification of a mother's parenting style was helpful.
Karen's conclusion was also enlightening: "Modern society...has taken us from...a life centered on the pleasures and pains of being connected to others. Our focus is often on other things...but the need for proximity, for felt security, for love; these basic themes of attachment are to some degree built into us biologically." Karen's book, through the writings and research of many behaviorists and psychoanalysts, helps to unlock and clarify this basic biology in us all. A biology that can go terribly wrong, in some cases. Through the works of Bowlby and others, however, there is more hope now than ever.
July 21, 2023
Very underwhelming. Couldn’t finish. This is an antiquated textbook about the history of attachment theory going back to scientists in the yee old days. Basically everything is outdated, no current research included, and it doesn’t even answer the teaser Qs on the back of the book. Nothing about anything it advertises itself to be. Ugh.
November 1, 2012
I had to read this book for school, but I think I would like to read it again when I have some more free time to really pay attention to whats being said instead of just skimming to answer questions in class. It was very interesting and definitely a topic I would love to know more about.
December 4, 2024
I just graduated with my Bachelor’s degree in psychology, but I have had a side interest in attachment theory and my own attachment style when I decided to purchase Becoming Attached by Dr. Robert Karen. This book was a very dynamic psychological and historical accounting for the development of attachment theory throughout the years of humanity. The primary figures in the realm of attachment theory were John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth; surprisingly, even they had their critics in the past. Even though I found this book to be a somewhat slow-paced read, I think that this book has offered a lot of wonderful things for me as I hope to implement components of attachment theory into my future as a Licensed Counselor. I also hope to raise babies someday who are securely attached to me. Interestingly, there are four primary attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized (a mixture of anxious and avoidant). Dr. Karen explained various experiments that were done by both Bowlby and Ainsworth to test what attachment style a baby or toddler embodies. The research was rigorous, and again, they had their critics. But now, we live in a world where evidence points to the truth that one’s primary caregivers in childhood will affect their development later in life. While it is not the only aspect of one’s humanity, a secure attachment is a very strong predictor of well-being, relationship success, mental health outcomes, self-efficacy, and overall one’s perception of oneself and the world.
December 25, 2019
So, there is a lot of information in this book which expands the knowledgebase of those interested in attachment theory, but what I didn't like was how there is a significant portion of this book seems to discuss the history of ideas and the theotetical conflicts between developmental theorists. I'm sure that will interest the professional psychologist, but the layman (for whom the book is written) has no use for it. This feature makes discussions drag on unnecessarily for pages.
It would have served the subtitle of this book better if Karen, instead spent the space given to history to directly discuss the etiology of the development of the various attachmeny styles and patterns in greater detail. What Bowlby found and how that went against Klein's theory, or how Klein was influenced by Freudian how her work sought to modernize his ideas with her contributions in developmental theory aren't as important to the reader as what the overall concensus on the theories is and how to make that knowledge actionable in their own lives.
This book is by no means a page turner and if you're interested in attachment theory as a layman don't bother with this book.
It would have served the subtitle of this book better if Karen, instead spent the space given to history to directly discuss the etiology of the development of the various attachmeny styles and patterns in greater detail. What Bowlby found and how that went against Klein's theory, or how Klein was influenced by Freudian how her work sought to modernize his ideas with her contributions in developmental theory aren't as important to the reader as what the overall concensus on the theories is and how to make that knowledge actionable in their own lives.
This book is by no means a page turner and if you're interested in attachment theory as a layman don't bother with this book.
July 3, 2023
"...a child needs to be lovingly attached to a reliable parental figure and...this need is a primary motivating force in human life..."
This book has been a fixture in my life for several months because it has taken me so long to read. Despite the fact that it is dense with research, it is written in a very accessible way. Robert Karen has a very measured and clear, almost clinical way of describing human behavior. Although his writing is subjective, it is balanced, and not brashly opinionated. It is not often that I actually look forward to reading a dense nonfiction book in the same way I look forward to reading lighter fiction, but I found myself looking forward to reading whenever I picked up this book.
I learned a lot from this book about myself, why I feel the way I do, and why others act the way they do. Although it takes time to work through, this book is worth it for anyone--but especially people who work with or have their own children.
This book has been a fixture in my life for several months because it has taken me so long to read. Despite the fact that it is dense with research, it is written in a very accessible way. Robert Karen has a very measured and clear, almost clinical way of describing human behavior. Although his writing is subjective, it is balanced, and not brashly opinionated. It is not often that I actually look forward to reading a dense nonfiction book in the same way I look forward to reading lighter fiction, but I found myself looking forward to reading whenever I picked up this book.
I learned a lot from this book about myself, why I feel the way I do, and why others act the way they do. Although it takes time to work through, this book is worth it for anyone--but especially people who work with or have their own children.
May 22, 2018
Absolutely enlightening. However, I have three small issues with this book:
1. It read like a biography at the beginning. Maybe I missed something where he explained it but I was a little confused why it wasn't called "Bowlby: a life" for a while.
2. Freud did not need to be referenced as much as he was. First explanation, groundwork, brief building on that to explain Anna, would have been enough.
3. Every once in a while the author would take detours into his own life and opinions. After so many points about thought being backed up be experiments and data I would have liked to see a) his own data and studies or b) his own opinions combined in one section before the end.
Otherwise a fabulous book, filled with detail and expanding knowledge about human development.
1. It read like a biography at the beginning. Maybe I missed something where he explained it but I was a little confused why it wasn't called "Bowlby: a life" for a while.
2. Freud did not need to be referenced as much as he was. First explanation, groundwork, brief building on that to explain Anna, would have been enough.
3. Every once in a while the author would take detours into his own life and opinions. After so many points about thought being backed up be experiments and data I would have liked to see a) his own data and studies or b) his own opinions combined in one section before the end.
Otherwise a fabulous book, filled with detail and expanding knowledge about human development.
August 24, 2021
The book really enlightened me as a mother. I have no background in psychology, but could read it without problems. The author writes really understandable and does not use (many) specialists terms.
It was an enlightentmend for me and I recommend to read it, especially if you are a parent.
What I have to critise:
*I think the book, especially the last chapter is very focussed on the U.S., I would have enjoed a comparison of different child care systems in different countries in aspect of attachment needs.
*Even though the author tries to undeline, that everyone can be a primery attachment figure and of course the father as good as the mother, the chosen examples often consider the classical family with the mother staying home.
But all in all it is a very good book!
It was an enlightentmend for me and I recommend to read it, especially if you are a parent.
What I have to critise:
*I think the book, especially the last chapter is very focussed on the U.S., I would have enjoed a comparison of different child care systems in different countries in aspect of attachment needs.
*Even though the author tries to undeline, that everyone can be a primery attachment figure and of course the father as good as the mother, the chosen examples often consider the classical family with the mother staying home.
But all in all it is a very good book!
February 10, 2019
Прекрасно написана историята на теория на привързаността - на места се чете напрегнато като криминален роман, особено в революционното зараждане на епохата :) Karen очевидно има даро слово, някои от описанията му са покъртително докосващи. Не е безпристрастен, но се е постарал да демонстрира различните гледни точки по темата. Чудесно въведение с достатъчно референции за по-задълбочено изследване.
July 26, 2020
A fascinating and in depth history of how attachment theory was developed and how we can use it today. The first third delves into the work of early psychoanalysts and the divisions between them, which sets the scene and context for attachment theory. As a student I found this fascinating but it might be a bit heavy/too detailed for the casual reader. There are more high level books on attachment that the causal reader might find more appropriate.
October 20, 2017
I really appreciated how this book captured the history of the emergence of attachment theory. At this point, the book was written many years ago, and is in need of an update. But, the early chapters are helpful in placing major attachment research studies in context to the times that they took place. This was a valuable read in that respect.
May 31, 2020
Colonizer view (White/Male/Freudian) on attachment. I knew the book was rubbish when it began by commenting on Mother attachment in the most sterile/least proven ways possible. Anyone using Freudian analytics on childhood should be disbarred from practicing medicine. As a parent and woman, this book was not written for me, and holds no relevant knowledge worth attaining.
June 8, 2021
Enjoyed reading this book a lot! It's probably outdated by now, but still a great collection of history, theory, and personal stories. There are some beautiful passages in here. The attachment theory ideas are much more accepted today, and other more pop-explainer books probably have more condensed explanations. Seems also like it's good for parenting but I paid less attention to those.
October 7, 2022
A mind-opening read on the importance of early interactions with babies.
I had a completely different view of child-rearing and of my own relationship to my parents before realizing the realities of how important a parent or guardian’s actions are.
This is a must-read for anyone trying to understand themselves or society, and for those who are active in public policy.
I had a completely different view of child-rearing and of my own relationship to my parents before realizing the realities of how important a parent or guardian’s actions are.
This is a must-read for anyone trying to understand themselves or society, and for those who are active in public policy.
July 10, 2024
For anyone who wants to understand the origins of the attachment theory, the influences on the first formulations of the theory as well as the relations between the main thinkers in the field. One chapter a day is a treat and a pleasure. Am absolutely must! Robert Karen writes in a simple and engaging way, and his narrative and clinical insights are transformative!
February 3, 2025
Great review of the theory about attachment between infants and mothers/fathers early in life. Delves into some theory, but more of a history of the theory. Hint - it’s important and can have a serious impact on relationship/social development, but early success or failure does not determine lifelong success/failure.
Many interesting insights throughout and very effective.
Many interesting insights throughout and very effective.
February 4, 2021
A pretty thorough review of attachment theory. I found Karen's words on how America's economic structure creates some less than ideal childcare situations for many families to be insightful, but also frustrating as it is unlikely that this structure will change anytime soon.
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