Have Mercy

by Christina Lee

Julian North

My whole world changed with one roadside bomb and an honorable discharge. Not even the city I used to love can ease the restlessness inside me. I don’t expect visiting my cousin Sienna’s farm to do the trick either, but the change of scenery can’t hurt. Wyoming isn’t what I expected—from the mischievous pig following me around, to the rescue horse I’ve become strangely fascinated with. And then there’s Kerry, the handsome, brooding cowboy, who somehow calms the storm inside me—and just happens to be Sienna’s ex-husband.

Kerry Carmichael

I’ve had a rough go of it since I came out—disappointing my family, the divorce, and the blow of my daughter’s illness. Things are settling down now, my kiddo is healthy, and Sienna and I are finally on solid ground. Not everyone accepts me, but I’ve owned my truth, even if I spend my life solo. Only, now that Julian’s here, I’m not so lonesome anymore. He’s a kindred spirit. First as someone to talk to, then as…more. The first time I hold him through one of his nightmares, I feel a rightness I never expected to find.

We know this’ll end with the summer, but with every stolen kiss against the stable walls, with every heated or tender moment, I fall deeper. The reality is, I can’t risk my family or the business by going public with him. I know this can never last and that Julian doesn’t belong here. So why does it feel like he already does?

Genres: M M Romance, Romance, Contemporary, Westerns, Military Fiction, LGBT, Friends To Lovers

272 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 28, 2020

About the author

Christina writes romance in different sub-genres, mostly with LGBTQ characters, not only because she's part of the community, but because representation matters, and everyone deserves a happily-ever-after. 


You can find more info on her website: www.christinalee.net. From there you can link to her Facebook reader group as well as her IG account and newsletter.

Reviews

[Noah · Rating 3 out of 5]

You sing a cowboy song to a desert sky / And you fall asleep wondering where I lie (Forever is Just a Day – Hurray for the Riff Raff).

Before I start, I should probably mention that I know that this book doesn’t technically have a shirtless man on the cover… but I’m certainly picturing him shirtless. That counts by my criteria! I just thought I’d clear that by the straw-man I’m arguing with in my head. With that out of the way, I can finally say that this book was fine. Hm, well that was a bit anti-climactic. Oh well. I don’t have anything against it or anything quite so dramatic, but speaking of the cover, I think it’s actually kind of indicative of some of the issues I had with the overall tone to the story. What does this book want to be? Because I think it tries too hard to strike a balance between being this quasi-melancholic story with a happy ending about finding a home, and then having to adhere to the prerequisites of books with these kinds of covers by being super-duper horny. I don’t know, I just think it’s a little silly when you try to tell this incredibly sentimental and meaningful story while also constantly peppering in sentences like “It didn’t take me long to spurt my jizz all over my stomach.” and “Christ, it sucked to walk around with a boner all the time and not be able to do anything about it.” I believe they call that a mood whiplash. Yeehaw! I’m a little disappointed because I really did think that the story could have been very lovely, and it probably would have literally been perfect for me if it had just learned how to pick a lane. Because otherwise, I can’t say that I’m too happy with this mishmash that both doesn’t hit the mark of earnestness, and has a general lack of sex-appeal. It's got the worst of both worlds? I hate to say it (not really), but sometimes this book was like the literary equivalent of that Lin-Manuel Miranda lip-biting picture. Sorry book, that might be too mean. It's not like I even go into these things strictly looking for it be hot and steamy or whatever, but I think seeing covers that look like this alters my brain chemistry in particular way. Makes me want one thing when I should know better by now. Also, I had a hard time wrapping my head around why all these characters are even around each other all the time? I truly believe that the best kind of stories are where a lot of people who don't get along are forced into proximity with each other, but it didn't seem realistic to me that these people would all still be in contact. I know they have a daughter, but them constantly hanging around each other was odd to me. The whole "We're still family" excuse has always been one of my biggest pet-peeves. Yeah, I guess that Kerry’s relationship with his ex-wife is supposed to seem subversive and mature, but I just thought it was weird. I’d put on my thinking cap on to, you know, think on it some more, but I'm too tired to care that much. I kept telling everyone that they should just leave. But then again, that's my solution to everything.

Anyway, like I said, I really did enjoy the story a lot. Or at least I really tried to, because I’m sad to admit that I was probably bored more often than not. I mean, once I got into a certain rhythm everything was cool. It was to the point I was actually a little concerned with how fast I was reading, because I definitely wouldn’t describe myself as a speed reader. Did I finally get into the groove, or was I was just going through the motions? I guess you could say… heh… that I was bookin’ it. Heh heh. You know how people are always saying “once you learn how to ride a bike, you can never unlearn it?” Yeah well, my ability to forget things should never be underestimated. I forgot the names of characters, I forgot which pov I was following (they were pretty similar), and if I were completely honest… I can already feel myself forgetting this book as a whole. Oh no, it’s already fading from my memory like Back to the Future! Tragic, I know. Nothing stuck to the walls of my brain, unfortunately. Alright, that’s enough negativity. I’ll have mercy and pretend like I’m writing a conclusion to an essay and get real serious for once. I will say that I do hold quite a bit of affection for this book, no matter how contradictory that sounds. The thing is, I always get a little emotional when I read or watch any kind of “gay western” type of story. I can’t help but think back to Brokeback Mountain, and how this beautiful, heartbreaking story was turned into something people should be ashamed of watching. I think it’s important to look at the historical context that these kinds of stories exist in, because while it’s no lie that my memory’s not the greatest, I certainly remember that it wasn’t all that long ago when this genre was a laughing stock, only existing to be mercilessly mocked and jeered at. The word “gay” became worse than a dirty word, it was made into a joke. Ha ha, laughing at their happiness, their pain, their love. Because queer folk don’t get to be real people with real stories; they get to be the punchline. I guess what I’m trying to say is that we’ve come a lo~ong way, and even though I spent all this time clowning on it, just by this book existing as is, I can't help but adore it. Just be you, man. Be you. Yeah so, this definitely isn’t my first rodeo with the genre, and I'm damn sure it won’t be my last.

"I fucking hated the constant guilt I was living under. And for what?"

[Snjez · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars

This story captured me right from the start with its amazing characters, lovely setting and a compelling storyline. It's emotional and beautifully written.

I can honestly say that I loved every single character in this book, animals included. Each of them had their own place in the story, making it so much more than just a romance. I loved the relationships between them. Their emotions and struggles were portrayed in a very realistic and relatable way.

I adored Julian and Kerry. They are such sweet, caring and lovable characters. I loved watching their relationship grow from almost strangers to friends to something more.

The character development was done so well, especially with Julian. The connection he made with certain characters and animals was truly touching.

I really appreciated there was no unnecessary angst or drama in this story, and no miscommunication. Although it deals with a lot of issues, it never felt too heavy or sad. It felt heartwarming and full of hope.

********
Re-read 11/2022 via audiobook, narrated by Nick J. Russo

[len ❀ · Rating 4 out of 5]

It took patience and compassion to get over the toughest hurdles in your life and finally let someone in. So in a way he was my salvation, and maybe I was a little bit his too.

Following two characters who carry hope and guilt at the same time, Have Mercy is about a combat veteran aching to start over and a rugged cowboy working through the freedom he wants to have.

Julian has been discharged from his military service. When his mother proposes he helps out his cousin, Sienna, back in her hometown in Wyoming, and how the change in life can be something helpful for him, Julian doesn’t have many choices to offer as alternatives. As he struggles with his PTSD, nightmares, and constant reminder in his knee about his service, changing his view of life for one summer be the change he needs. Kerry is still a part of the community he has loved, but now it’s different. After coming out to his family and divorcing his wife, he stays to take care of his daughter, who is still recovering from battling leukemia, and care for the work he has done. While he’s happy to be out and feel more like himself finally, it’s still difficult for him to find the happiness he wished he’d find. So when Julian and Kerry see each other again, neither had expected a spark and attraction to be mutually built. And while building a relationship in a ranching community may not be the best choice, neither can deny the attraction that drives both of them towards each other more and more with each passing day.

This was my first MM cowboy romance, and I’m happy to say I wasn’t disappointed. Along with sports, the cowboy/ranch community is another one of the most toxic and prejudiced communities when it comes to LGBTQ+ individuals and couples. Both are deeply rooted in toxic masculinity and misogyny, and while the author shows it here, we can also see it in the character's internal thoughts. Yet, the author doesn’t make it entirely sufferable, but instead adds hope to the characters as well as the reader. It’s clear where she’s taking the pace without directing nonsense drama and suffering for either character only for the sake of it. I always appreciate it more when authors take this healthy root because it’s one of the ways that these characters can have a happy ever after without it being stereotypical and traditional. It’s a way for the public to feel a sense of belonging and acceptance.

“What was that for?” he asked, panting against my lips.
“Because you’re beautiful, inside and out.”

Have Mercy is both character and plot-driven. Being both character and plot-driven intensified my enjoyment of this because they were connected. Julian and Kerry’s arcs are deeply rooted in what the book is about and its focus, all while zeroing in on their shared development without overflowing over the story. Both Kerry and Julian knew each other when they were younger but never had the time to become close friends or any of that sort. But when they reunite after a while, they can’t help the mutual attraction they feel for each other. I wouldn’t classify this as insta-love or lust in any way. Instead, both develop a crush on the other that felt adequate for what it gave. It was believable, and the thoughts both had about the other helped see where they were going with each other. I loved seeing how they became friends first and started interacting, showing their proximity incorporated into something more Christina Lee made the story slow-burn and added equal amounts of tension. I was thoroughly enjoying it all, despite all the yearning. Stolen looks, serious gazes, little brushes of hands, and skin-to-skin contact, along with Kerry teaching Julian how they work in the stables and Julian helping out in any way he could. The dialogue between them allowed room for the relationship development. It wasn’t repetitive, intolerable, and overbearing. Instead, it felt raw, logical, and entirely realistic. We can see how Julian and Kerry become friends and form a deep connection. Each day they spent time together, allowing them to learn more about one another and sense comfort in each other.

As for their arcs, rooting for both Kerry and Julian is easy. Julian is a combat veteran and has been diagnosed with PTSD. The author doesn't disregard this and uses it just as a plot device, making it only a piece of the story or utilizing it to take over the story. Instead, we gradually see what the side effects mean for him, such as loud and cracking noises, car honks, fireworks, and gunshots. He also has nightmares and has moments where he zones out and remembers his past, losing all sense of direction to him where he ponders the time he was active. He also slowly builds a friendship with a rescue horse, Mercy, and the time he spends helping out Kerry or anyone else allows him to take a breather and focus on different thoughts.

On the other hand, Kerry finally stopped lying to himself and the ones he has come to love. I have to point this out, as it may bother people, but Kerry was married to Sienna, yet he was never in love that way. He did it to become acknowledged and show individuals around him he was a "man," yet he arrived at the resolution he couldn't and was at last ready to come out. He stayed with the family to take care of their daughter. While he may not love Sienna romantically or sexually, their daughter, Ainsley, became someone he found the courage to continue moving forward for. I was able to look past this, mainly because it was reasonable, considering the circumstance Kerry wound up in and the acknowledgment he was searching for.

“You deserve to have everything you’ve dreamed of. And I’m here for as long as you’ll have me.”

My only complaint is how stubborn Kerry was. He was too caught up in the guilt of Sienna and his daughter, feeling like being with Julian was betraying them or going against them in some sort of way. At first, I could understand him and overlook it, but it got frustrating because, as Julian said, they’re both consenting adults, they aren’t relatives by blood, and it wasn’t like Kerry was cheating on Sienna. This might have most certainly further developed their relationship improvement and allowed them to have a kind of "secret relationship." To an extent, they did, but it didn’t feel like enough due to the constant stirring and doubt Kerry would continue to have.

With all that being said, Have Mercy was emotional, hopeful, and free. I love nothing more than two characters from different backgrounds coming together and falling in love.

“But sometimes…life has other plans.”
[…] “And sometimes life shows you things in plain sight.”

[~✡~Dαni(ela) ♥ ♂♂ love & semicolons~✡~ · Rating 4 out of 5]

~4.5~

This is a gorgeous, low-key romance about a cowboy and injured combat veteran. I loved both MCs, the secondary characters (including the pigs and horses!), the ranch setting, the steamy bits, and, of course, the tentative but hopeful HEA.

Have Mercy is not filled with drama or action. Instead, it's a quiet, meaningful story of two men connecting on every level. Kerry and Julian have an almost spiritual connection, and the heat between them is off the charts. I think this is one of the sexiest stories Christina Lee has written, and I approve.

I never knew milking a cow or brushing a horse could be so erotic, but the chemistry between the men was raw and apparent anytime they breathed the same air.

Chemistry doesn't equal insta love, however. Both men are cautious because Kerry was married to Julian's cousin Sienna and has been shamed relentlessly by his family for coming out and breaking up the marriage.

I found this extremely upsetting considering Kerry put his life on hold to take care of his ex and daughter. He paid his penance but was billed an outcast. It's Julian who pushes and makes Kerry realize he's worthy of more than merely existing.

Julian's PTSD was not downplayed, but neither was it the focus of the story. Kerry had his own wounds, as did his young daughter who was in cancer remission.

I know I already mentioned the pigs, but how cute were Phoebe and Hamlet, seriously? I love how their personalities came alive! Oh, and I also adored Mercy, the horse, and how he and Julian bonded over their past trauma. Equine-Assisted Therapy is a real thing. I know a vet wounded in combat who did it weekly for a year, and it greatly reduced his PTSD episodes.

I am hoping that this book turns into a series. The setting and characters are too good to leave behind.

[Shile (Hazard's Version) on-hiatus · Rating 4 out of 5]

Audiobook - 4 stars

Story - 3.75 stars

[Meags · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 Stars

This was such a beautiful story, beginning to end.

Julian is an injured veteran whose life back home in NYC is overwhelming and often triggering. When his mother urges him to take a break from the big city, he’s reluctant but soon concedes. Turns out, heading to Wyoming for the summer to stay on his cousin’s farm and help with the remodelling of an old silo is just the change of pace and scenery Julian needs.

On Firefly Farm, Julian is reunited with his cousin Sienna, who he hasn’t seen since before his deployments and since she divorced her husband Kerry, after he came out as gay, shocking their family and small-town to the core. Julian isn’t sure what to expect from life on the farm, where Sienna and Kerry still live and work together in apparent harmony, as friends and partners in all things farm related. They also have a little girl, who like Julian, is suffering her own form of PTSD after battling cancer at such a young age.

Much to Julian’s surprise and joy, he adjusts to farm life with ease, enjoying the work, the people, and even the wide array of animal life that populate the farm. Most significantly, he finds himself forming unexpected and life-changing bonds with both Kerry and a rescue horse named Mercy.

When it comes to the deep feelings developing between the men, Kerry is mutually smitten with Julian. But although now out, Kerry is still mindful of his impact on his family, struggling to admit that what he could have with Julian could be worth any potential fallout.

This story was emotional at times, yet I wouldn’t call it angsty. It was touching and hopeful, depicting realistic characters dealing with PTSD and portraying larger family dynamics that were complex and raw. I liked all the secondary characters, particularly the animals—so if I could have a pet pig or two now, that would be absolutely delightful!

I adored Julian and Kerry alike, enjoying their split POV narrative very much. I loved the slow-burn nature of their relationship, too, which was both tender and passionate and so very romantic.

I especially loved Julian and his connection to Mercy (the horse), loving the way equine therapy helped him face his past and begin to heal in his present. It was pretty powerful stuff.

Overall, this story was an absolute joy to read and one that I’m pretty sure will remain a personal favourite of the year.

[Simone - on indefinite hiatus - · Rating 4 out of 5]

***4.5 ❤***

This little book made me heavily emotional. Was it perfect? No. And yet, it somehow was for me. Loved it! 🤷‍♀️❤

[Wendys Wycked Words · Rating 4 out of 5]

Absolutely lovely!! Full review to come real soon!!!

[Gustaf · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book way more than I expected to liking it. I've been staying away from this author, feeling that we wouldn't vibe based on the blurbs of their books. Maybe I should give them another shot?

I fell in love with Julian and his story. And especially the way he worked with mercy the horse to handle his PTSD. For Kerry... it took me a really long time to warm up to him. He was constantly sabotaging himself and his happiness. The way he kept denying himself being happy with a guy because of his family just annoyed me.

Overall this was much lighter than I expected. I really do recommend it.

[Cadiva · Rating 4 out of 5]

What an absolutely beautiful romance Christina Lee has crafted here. There's nothing overly dramatic, nothing too angsty, just two hurting men falling in love unexpectedly.

This book is a gentle read, it's about healing, about finding your way forward, it's about finding new ways to be a family and above all it's about love and acceptance.

Both Kelly and Julian are unique characters, with their own quirks and foibles, they work beautifully as a pair as their friendship morphs to attraction and then to intimacy, all tempered with the fears which surround their unique circumstances.

I liked that there were no real "bad guys" here either, the tensions come from a truly believable situation and I liked that Kelly's ex-wife, while she had her moments, wasn't just a one-note angry woman but instead a complicated and complex person with her own hurts she was dealing with.

I really loved the setting, the cowboy lifestyle felt vividly real, I loved the cast of secondary characters and I liked that there was resolution to a lot of the tensions in ways which were honestly achieved.

I'd love to read more in this setting.

#ARC kindly received from the author in return for an honest and unbiased review

[Erth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a moving story about a cowboy who was married and has a daughter, but finally realises he can’t live a lie anymore and comes out to family. Although he’s not cut off from them they do however make him feel such guilt for being what he is and don’t see the wonderful man he actually is. It’s sad that this is still a black spot in this day and age but hopefully things will get steadily better

[Ariana (mostly offline) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of those ‘quiet’ books.
Following Julian to a ranch in beautiful Wyoming, experiencing the calm of the surroundings, the steadiness of farm work felt soothing and tranquil.

The tone of this book reminds me a little bit of Touch the Sky by the same author.
I’m pinching these lines from my review of that book because they are true to me here, too:

“Both men need to deal with their 'stuff' (Julian’s PTSD and Kerry denying himself any happiness), and I loved the way this is happening because it feels real and genuine. There is no OTT drama, but conversations and actions I could associate with. No doubt that the author's personal and professional experience have a lot to do with the authenticity of the book.”

I’ve never come across equine therapy but absolutely loved the thought behind it, and how it improved both, Julian and Ainsley’s life. Apart from that, the gradual development of Julian and Kerry’s relationship is really well done. From friendship to (beautifully written) pining to lovers and falling in love.
Although I do have to say that these two guys have waaaay more restraint and patience than I would have ever had in their shoes! I was quite impressed how mature and sensible they acted, maybe even too much?

Good read!

[.Lili. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have Mercy by Christina Lee was precisely the comfort read I needed.

-Cowboy and Ex-Military
-Romance with an end date (which I'm a total sucker for)
-Hurt/Comfort
-Dual POVs
-Realistic setting
-Slow Burn
- Chemistry/UST
-Kindred spirits
-Romantic as hell

It was such a lovely story to get lost to.

Highly recommend it.

4.5 Stars

[Denise H. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Re-read Jan. 9, 2022
Terrific, heartwarming and a feel good tale !

Stunning. Beautiful. Meaningful.
Julian is home after his fellow soldiers didn’t survive


the attack. Julian is 25, sturdy and solid, recovering from his own injuries, scarred, and adrift, with PTSD and nightmares.
His Mom suggests he goes to his cousin Sierra’s farm to find some peace.
His cousin is divorced with a girl, Ainsley, who is in remission from Leukemia.
Her ex, Kerry, 30, still lives at the farm,


because as friends, he and his ex are devoted to Ainsley. Kerry had come out as gay, and he is unable to live his life fully in their area of Wyoming.
Julian hops right into learning and helping wherever he can.
He finds the busy place to calms him, even if he still has nightmares.
Kerry teaches him about the farm, and Julian builds Sierra’s new “goat goods” sales shop from the extra silo.
Kerry and Julian get closer as the summer passes. Kerry has witnessed several of Julian’s episodes, and helps when he can. Horse grooming therapy helps Julian, just as it has helped Ainsley.
Slowly, the men are closer than friends, steamy sexy times are sporadic, but deeply satisfying, stealing time when they can.



Much is happening with the farm, relatives, Julian’s carpentry, Sunday dinners and their daily lives.
When summer ends, Julian must go back to New York for his sister’s wedding.
What will become of our men’s feelings and needs?

A wonderful tale of two needy men finding their “one.”
ENJOY !

=======
A gorgeous cover...

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[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.25 stars

This is a tough one to rate. I liked it, but I was also a little bored at times. And the whole small town, coming out as gay, but having to remain single for the rest of your life so your family and ex-wife don’t hate you thing made me feel angry and claustrophobic.

I also had a hard time connecting to these guys. There were a few times where I really did feel something, but mostly I thought Julian and Kerry were pretty flat characters. I guess that’s totally on me, because all the other people say how emotional they found this book.

I did like the second half and the end more than the first half. I was hoping Kerry grew some balls and finally stood up to his family or even his ex-wife Sienna. I know she is portrayed as an understanding woman who supports him, but she really rubbed me the wrong way somehow. As if Kerry should be glad Sienna still accepted him as the father of Ainsley and as a business partner on the farm. I know she came around in the end, but I still didn’t like her.

I think this is what mostly kept me from enjoying this book properly. That feeling that Kerry somehow had to do penance for coming out as gay and ‘ruining’ his family. I know people came around at the end, but that was more because they saw the light themselves instead of Kerry taking a stand and telling them to accept him or move on and leave him alone.

Now that I’m writing this review, I notice I might have been a bit frustrated with Kerry. ;)
But Julian wasn’t my favorite either. He was nice and all, but I thought his character was a bit…. dull? Flat? Boring? All of the above?

Well, I did read the whole thing so I did like it enough to finish it. I guess it just wasn’t a complete winner for me.

[Ele · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not sure how I feel about the whole situation with the ex wife, but definitely a good, emotional read.

[AngelFire · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF @ 23%

This is the second book I've tried by this author and both times, I was so bored that I struggled to stay awake. The first two chapters are just info-dumps about the MC's histories and families. After that, the plot moves along at a snail's pace with way more focus on the MC's interactions with various family members than each other. Kerry had a very complicated relationship with his ex-wife and different members of his family and it felt like those issues were taking all of the attention. I especially didn't like having Kerry spending a lot of time thinking about his past/current relationship with his ex-wife. I liked her as a character and it would have been fine if this were gay fiction, but if I've read a quarter of a romance and the MCs have zero chemistry and have barely interacted, then that's not my thing. The animals being adorable wasn't nearly enough to keep me interested. Going forward, I think I'll steer clear of this author since I don't seem to vibe with their approach to romance stories.

[Kaity · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reread/Relisten March 2023

pretty good, i think my mood made me not love this as much as the first time i read this. but i loved the country vibes and all the animals.

but rereads are definitely the way to go to get out of the slump haha

3.5-4 stars September 2022

This was way better than I thought.

Cowboys and a military vet yes sign me the fuck up haha

This was a sweet story that I couldn’t put down. Julian and Kerry has a great relationship healing not only themselves but each other. I also loved all the animals personalities on the farm, especially the two pigs haha

I have enjoyed the Christina Lee books I have picked up so I hope to keep it that way with her books in the future!

[Papie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was amazing. I shouldn’t have loved this book. It is slow paced, there are animals and a child that are all very present in the story, the ex wife is still in the picture. It is set on a farm. I should have been bored and annoyed. But I loved everything about it. It reminded me how much I love Christina Lee’s writing.

Julian is a veteran suffering from PTSD. His mother suggests he goes spend the summer in Wyoming to get away from NYC and see if it helps. He agrees to go help his cousin Sienna with a renovation on the farm she shares with her ex, Kerry. Kerry is a gay cowboy with a homophobic family, basically sacrificing his own happiness to keep the peace. They quickly develop a friendship and an insane attraction and chemistry.

Sienna and Kerry have a great relationship, but how would she feel about her ex husband hooking up with her cousin? So it can’t last. It’s impossible. It’s only for summer. But then...love happens, and we get a beautiful HEA in the epilogue.

The sex scenes are incredibly hot. The emotions are intense. The characters are all interesting and feel real. Even the animals. I’m an animal lover but I usually don’t care for animals in a romance, but here it was quirky and adorable. It almost makes this city girl want to move on a farm. Almost. 😜

[Aki | nose buried in books | ❤️ | · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a lovely story!
Everything you need to know is in the blurb, don't miss this one.
I'd really love to read more in this setting so fingers crossed ✨

[Em Jay · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.75 ⭐️⭐️⭐️

I know people always say “it’s me, not the book,” well in this case it really was me. I had a feeling going in the family dynamics in this book would distract me, and once again I should’ve followed my instincts. It took me a long, long time to connect to Kerry and Julian but again - distracted. Distracted by the fact that Kerry’s ex-wife Sierra was Julian’s cousin, distracted because it was the main point of contention in the book, distracted because it kept. coming. up. every. single. minute. until. the. very. end. Distracted because they all lived in the same house and it was driving me nuts. Anyway, this is a me thing and most people will probably not be as consumed by these details as I was.

I did like Kerry and Julian as characters, and when I finally started to click with them I found their relationship sweet. This is however a very slow book. I found myself getting bored quite a lot, and there was just something missing for me because I never felt on edge wanting them to get together. When they did get together, sadly the sex scenes didn’t work much for me either and I found myself skimming them. The farm setting was lovely though and I enjoyed all of the animals, especially the stuff with Julian and Mercy.

To reiterate this is big time a me, me, me thing. Plenty of my GR friends, along with many other readers, loved this so don’t let me deter you.

[✵Damjana✵ · Rating 4 out of 5]

✽ 4.5 STARS ✽

This was my first book by Christina Lee, even though I already read Of Sunlight and Stardust, where she was co-author.

It is slow burn romance (which I usually don't like much, because I get bored easily) with amazing location setting. Story takes place on a dairy farm in small town near Jackson Hole in Wyoming.



I must confess: I was a goner immediately, I just miss my america road trips so much! Books like this help me struggle with being at home instead of travelling 🤠!

Cowboy Kerry is Wyoming native, while Julian is ex-soldier, raised in NYC. Julian comes to Wyoming to help his cousin and Kerry's ex wife Sienna on their farm. But mostly to calm his mind due to suffering of PTSD.

Characters are amazing, real, everything is set up naturally, there is no unnecessary drama or stupid miscommunication. And some pretty hot 💥 steamy 💥scenes between Kerry and Julian.

[Ed Davis · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a sweet story. I had to look to see if I’d read anything else by Christina Lee and I had. I loved the other book also.

I love a slow burn and Julian and Kerry are the slowest. I’ve read so many mm romances that I find that I’m much more interested in the story than the sex. The sex was hot, don’t get me wrong. It’s just that I really loved their story.

[꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱ brandon sklenar’s baby (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Made me swoon so much!

[Simona · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've really loved this. So sweet and pure and heartwhelming.

[Rielle · Rating 4 out of 5]

So much better than I thought it would be!

I don’t know what it was about the blurb, but it made me put off reading this one for a while and I had low expectations. I was wrong. There really wasn’t as much sick kid and divorce animosity as I expected. The biggest source of angst was the hesitation between the two MCs and I actually liked the build up of tension a lot. I thought that PTSD was handled really well here and the parallels between Julian and Ainsley made her inclusion much more meaningful.

A truly good ending too. I hope we get Hunter’s story next because he just has to get with that rodeo star.

[oshiiy · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars ⭐️

[Elsbeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

*4.5 stars*

This was beautiful. Loved everything about, It was so beautifully written, I could see myself wondering around. The farm, the pigs, the horses. I wantend to be there.

I was so rooting for Julian and Kerry. Kerry needed someone at his side. I would've loved more HEA of them. Would've loved to have seen how they all lived now.

Hope this will be part of a series. I'm curious about Kerry's brother Hunter. He may be not so straight as we think... Figures

[Harshita · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it....the premise.....the emotions......the vulnerability ......just too beautiful!!!

[Tracy~Bayou Book Junkie · Rating 5 out of 5]

5+++++ Stars!

It’s Wyoming week! Seriously, this is my second book I’ve read this week set on a ranch in Wyoming! lol

In the last couple of years I’ve been in a really bad reading rut, rarely accepting arcs, but when I read the cover/blurb reveal for this story, I was so excited and rightly so. I can’t tell you when’s the last time I picked up a book and couldn’t put it down. This story pulled me in and didn’t let go until 4 in the morning, when I read the words “The End”.

I absolutely loved this story and I adored both Julian and Kerry. The chemistry between them was electric and the sexual tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. While I loved them and rooted for them, the few scenes where they came together physically, because it was in secret, while it was explosive and hot, I practically had an anxiety attack that they’d get caught. lol

I felt horrible for them and the situation they were in, feeling like their relationship would be frowned upon by Kerry’s ex-wife and their other family members, because they were ex-cousins-in-law. Isn’t that a mouthful! But I kept up hope, even through my tears, that they’d get their HEA, and my tears were all well worth it in the end.

This was an extremely enjoyable story and, although the ending was satisfying, I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Kerry and Julian and I have a huge book hangover. This is definitely a book I could see myself re-visiting in the future. Highly recommendable!


** Copy provided for my reading pleasure, a review wasn't a requirement. **