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524 pages, Paperback
First published November 15, 2022
“Did you know the most wonderful dreams are rarely ever true?”
“I hate you, Chu Wanning. I really hate you so much.”
His voice was a little hoarse.
“But you’re all I have left.”
he’d still missed him with an almost physical intensity, like a thousand ants were gnawing on his heart. But no matter how much he missed him or how hard he wished, Chu Wanning wouldn’t come back.
Mo Ran had lost the last flame of his life.
He was certain that he hated Chu Wanning. But, as he held him in his arms, Mo Ran felt wetness gather at the corners of his eyes. This was a warmth that the thirty-two-year-old Taxian-jun had thought he would never again possess.
He obviously disliked Chu Wanning. So why was it that sometimes, when he looked at him, he felt so at peace—so warm?
His arms were like clamps, like shackles, latching on to the remaining bit of warmth in his arms, as if holding on to the very last ember of fire in the world.
Had he been out of his mind earlier, when he wanted to kill Chu Wanning with his own hands?
If Chu Wanning died, then what would he even have left in this world…?
'He once trained you in cultivation and martial arts, trained you in the art of self-defense. He once taught you how to read and write, taught you poetry and painting. He once learned how to cook just for you, even though he was so clumsy and got cuts all over his hands. He once... He once waited every day for you to come home, all alone by himself, from nightfall, till the break of dawn...'
'Shizun, haven't you always looked down on me? Haven't you always thought I was lowly?'
'I'm sorry, Mo Ran. It was this master's fault..'
'Shizun, I'm really not...beyond remedy...So, please, don't give up on me'
'Shizun doesn't even have anyone to talk to. Isn't that lonely?'
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by Lisa Buijteweg
When the dusk settled, Chu Wanning was left alone in the middle of the barren wasteland. Other than his solitary figure standing amidst the ruins, shrouded in brilliant scarlet like read lotus in first bloom, or a fallen haitang blossom, there was only the ground, covered in shattered white bones, and terrifying Tianwen, golden light still coursing along its length.
[Mo Ran] was used to Chu Wanning being tormented to the breaking point at his own hands, as Mo Ran crushed his dignity and defiled his purity. But Mo Ran couldn’t stand Chu Wanning being bruised and scarred at the hands of anyone else.
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by Lisa Buijteweg
Mo Ran watched him from a distance. Althought he'd thought himslef preprared, if he was honest with himslef, seeing that figure appear once before him, healthy and well, made him shudder down to the smallest fragments of his bones. Half dread, half... thrill.
His shizun.
Chu Wanning.
There was no one else in the room. Thus, after much consideration, the once cruel ruler of the cultivation world, the Despot of Sichuan, Emperor of the Mortal Realm, and Lord of Sisheng Peak, Taxian-jun, Mo Ran himself, expressed his honest thoughts: "Fuck..."
Mo Ran once again felt the vine binding him squeeze and twist, making his organs feel like they were going to wrench into mush. He screamed in agony, letting loose the thoughts in his mind.
"Chu Wanning! You think you're tough?! Watch me fuck you to death!"
In this life, he'd started out as a bastard son who possessed nothing, and after enduring great deal, he'd become Lord Emperor of the Mortal Realm.
He had blasphemed, and his hands were covered with blood. All that he loved, all that he hated, all that he prayed for, all that he resented - when all was said and done, there was nothing left.
A vision appeared unbidden before his eyes, of Chu Wanning half kneeling, sprawled on the ground beenath Mo Ran's fiery, ferocious passion. His shizun's eyes were half-lidded and his body trembled uncontrollably as he endured, but was still fucked into his own climax...
And so the white cat knelt all night, never turning around.
And so the dumb dog stood all night, never once leaving.