I refuse to proof read, so sorry for the chaos.
I was in denial for the majority of this book that Matt was dead, I was absolutely convinced they had faked his death because after he recovered they would've killed him. I thought they were going to tell Jess this or he was going to appear at the end of the book or at the end we would find out and the next book would start with us needing to find him or some shit idk SOMETHING. I thought maybe he was going to have lost his memory because he had gotten the virus and survived, I really didn't want that to happen because I thought it would just be another thing for the love triangle to be more dramatic, add a different level, a different curve ball, but he would've been alive! BUT NO, HE'S ACTUALLY DEAD. WTF. I SOBBED, like holy shit man. The moment when they all started defending Jess and admitted it was because they had promised Matt I just started to bawl and realized this might have actually happened. I was still questioning it the whole time but I was slowly accepting he wouldn't have a miraculous return. I'm still in shock, still mildly in denial, and so confused.
I honestly really love these books so far, I'm terrified to read Echoes because I don't want to have to wait almost a year for the next book and I'm afraid of the cliffhanger I know is coming.
I think killing Matt was very very abrupt. In a few pages, he went from sick to fucking DEAD. I think it should've been drawn out more in my opinion, it didn't feel real because it didn't feel like a proper send-off. I don't mean he should've been sick for longer, it felt very true to life and the situation they're in for someone to go downhill so quickly but I mean in terms of page count there should've been more focus. More emphasis on him getting worse and so on. It just felt like such an almost disrespectful send-off for such a sweet and IMPORTANT character. I did feel like a bit of a lazy way to end the love triangle, it makes her being with Ethan so much less impactful. She's not choosing him because she's madly in love, she's choosing him because her boyfriend died and he's the other option. Sure she loves him and they were my pick couple but it puts a bad taste in my mouth. It's not the romantic moment I wanted, it's just well your boyfriend died so how about now? (I'm kidding obviously, Ethan was very respectful of her grieving, he was/is grieving too).
I'm obviously still going to continue reading the series, I'm kinda of addicted and shocked these books don't have more attention?!? They're very The 100 and Maze Runner, and I did love those books.
Also, I feel toxic even thinking it but OMG do I ship Jess and Miles. Ughhh I feel like a monster even though I think that's fully what the author is hinting at? It's so clear he has feelings for her and the whole Pride and Prejudice thing was him literally describing to a t what I hope is going to happen/ what's happening? Idk because killing off Matt effectively ending the love triangle and then adding in another love interest to start it all up again is diabolical. I feel like I'm betraying Matt and Ethan by choosing Miles. I'm so easily swayed, you add in an even more mysterious, grumpy guy and I'm in. He has dark hair? He has a soft spot for her? They're sort of enemies? He's tall? He's strong? He's handsome? Count me in, you could add in another character just like that after Miles and I'd be ready to jump ship. But as of right now, I NEED NEED to have this romance at least explored. If she ends up with Ethan I understand, from where they started it makes the most sense. Feels like less of a betrayal to Matt (only a fraction less).
Anyways, I'm gonna go read the next book and hope and pray this one doesn't ruin me too and that the 5th book by some miracle comes out sooner?? No? Well damn, I at least asked.