Popsicle

by Christa Wojciechowski

BRAIN FOG
Andre only values people as far as he can use them to feed his addictions. But when he emerges from his most recent bender and finds himself gnawing on another man’s head in a New York sewer, it might be time to seek help. Cannibalism, whether intentional or not, is a gigantic red flag. But first … Where is he? How did he get there? Who is the man he is eating? And not least of all, why the hell are his pants down?

BRAIN DRAIN
To top it all off, Andre soon discovers that someone has surgically implanted a cybernetic device in his neck. Sure, it’s cool that it allows him to virtually access the internet with his mind, but the fact that it shorts out his brain and shuts him down at the worst possible times is a major design flaw.

BRAIN DEAD
Frightened and horrified, Andre is determined to uncover what events led up to his grotesque meal in the sewer. Starting with his social media posts, he pieces together the missing weeks and retraces a sordid drug-fueled odyssey. Bizarre memories surface. He rediscovers long-buried feelings of guilt and regret, especially regarding his ex, Astrid. Tangled within those memories is the key to this mystery, and if he doesn’t hurry and discover what happened, his brain will fry.

* * * * *

"Popsicle is a wild ride—funny, visceral, unsettling, and oddly hopeful. Take Palahniuk and Cronenberg, mix in some Jeremy Robert Johnson, and a splash of Philip K. Dick and this is what you get. Christa Wojciechowski is one of my favorite emerging voices, taking chances on the page, as she writes startling original stories that are impossible to put down.”

- Richard Thomas, author of Disintegration, Breaker, and Spontaneous Human Combustion

Demented comedy, flat-out horror, criminal thrills that would make Tarantino blush, Christa Wojciechowski’s Popsicle has it all. This is the kind of book you won’t just dig, you’ll yank friends and loved ones out of their chairs and shove it in their faces and demand they read. Popsicle is the real deal. Get it while you can.

- Jerry Stahl, author of Permanent Midnight

Genres: Fiction

94 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 26, 2022

About the author

Christa Wojciechowski is an American dark fiction writer who lives in Panama. She is the author of the SICK series and the founder of the Writers' Mastermind virtual writing community.

Christa's novella "Popsicle" was a semi-finalist in Coverfly's Cinematic Short Story Competition and will be published by Bloodshot Books in 2021. Her short story, "Observer Dependent Universe" will be featured in the upcoming "Chiral Mad 5" anthology, and “Blood Sisters” will be featured in “Shadow Atlas: Dark Landscapes of the Americas.”

Christa Wojciechowski is a member of the Horror Writers Association. She loves to play Chopin (badly) and sip Hendrick’s gin. When she is not reading or writing, she can be found rambling through the Panamanian wilderness with her two dogs or traveling with her dashing husband, Marco.

Reviews

[Monica · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is weird and wonderful. I love it. We meet the main character, Andre, gnawing on a man’s face with his pants down in a sewer. He doesn’t know what he’s doing or how he got there, or even who the man is, but he knows something is terribly wrong and he needs to figure out how he ended up in this predicament. He finds something implanted in the guy’s neck and realizes that he has the same implant. In an effort to piece together the events that lead to this moment, he starts going through his internet history and social media posts.

The implant. Have you ever read The Murderbot Diaries? You know how everyone is connected to a network via tech and Murderbot hacks his way through the universe and so on? The implant in Andre’s neck is sort of like an alpha tester of that kind of device. We learn that he is participating in the testing phase for a big fat paycheck. At this stage, no one is hacking security systems. They’re mostly vegging out doing internet things like googling shit and participating in social media.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ for me. Popsicle is exciting and well written. Wojciechowski’s writing makes the reader feel like they’re a part of Andre’s journey. The pacing fits the novella length and the author leaves out no details. Sometimes novellas of this length move too quickly and leave a lot of gaps, but that is not a problem present in this one. The story is imaginative and absurd and full of dark humor that matches my own sense of humor.

[Emily Perkovich · Rating 4 out of 5]

Horror novellas are very hit or miss for me because sometimes I feel too much gets compromised to keep it short. This is one that I wish had been longer. Some bits ended up rushed due to the length and the only character that had any sort of character development at all was the narrator, and I absolutely hated him. Because this is the first work I have read from this author, I couldn’t always tell if his less than modern opinions were just to play up a stereotype or if they matched the writer’s own views, so I am going to give the benefit of doubt here to the author. In which case she did an excellent job creating the type of ignorant, scummy dude that you really can’t make yourself root for because he’s constantly alternating between pitying himself and talking about how he doesn’t pity himself because he knows his faults. I would be interested in reading full length work from her. Thank you to BookSirens & Bloodshot Books for the complimentary review copy.

[Iseult Murphy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun

This fast paced dark character study starts with a killer hook and an enticing promise of transhumanism themes.

This is the story of Andre, who wakes up in a bad situation and tries to remember how he got there.

The story is well written and clips along at a fast pace. I kept hoping that the implant Andre receives would play a big, and horrible, part in the story, but its role is minimal and the resulting message rather trite. Instead, this is primarily Andre’s life story, which he tells in a remarkably candid and psychologically self aware way.

I wish the transhumanism element had been explored and developed in a more original way. Real life research into neural implants is rich fuel for the horror writer, so you don’t have very far to go for inspiration.

Likewise, I wish Andre’s voice had been more realistic. I longed for him to imply things, because they were too painful to speak outright, or to justify his actions or rationalize his behavior. I don’t think his artistic, extremely detailed way of recounting information would have bothered me if the story had been written in third person.

However, it’s an entertaining read that I raced through in one sitting.

[Kat M · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really felt for Andre, this was a really well written horror novel. Christa Wojciechowski has a great writing style and a really great feel for the horror genre. I look forward to reading more from Christa Wojciechowski.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[DA · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this!

What can I say, this book is addictive. Which is ironic because the main theme of the story is addiction. Addiction to drugs and addiction to social media. The parallels are scary.
The main character, Andre, is just one of those characters you can't trust, an unreliable narrator of the highest order, but he's somehow endearing and is just trying to survive.
I like how this book is kind of a warning to not get lost in social media land and how it can take over our lives.
My favorite quote from the book is "Society'll be reduced to thinking in follows and hearts and poop emojis?"
Aren't we already half way there?

[Gabe · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't enjoy this book, maybe that's the whole point.
The story is deeply unsettling and makes you think more than you really want to about the subjects within the book.
I was a bit thrown off by the beginning, thinking this was your average, 'oh god, gotta find out what happened in the last 24 hours,' and it then proceeds to be the most boring piece of narrative you've ever read. However, this was more than that in a completely abnormal way. I was caught off-guard so many times and with every paragraph I began to hate the main character more and more. I'm not sure if this was even the goal, but I had a deep hatred for the characters and the dark story they tell.
The writing was clear and made sense, but I couldn't help feeling weirdly vulnerable throughout the entire thing. Some bits, like Andre's devotion to New York, could've been expanded on a bit more to create a more authentic understanding of how he feels. I also noted that Andre states he is a 'straight up homosexual man,' but I'm pretty sure it was supposed to say heterosexual.

I don't know how to feel about this book. I'm not even sure what to rate it. I am conflicted.
If I was rating this based on complete disgust and uneasiness, it'd be a good 4.5/5.
If I was rating this based on enjoyability - smiles, laughs, happy moments - then it'd be a 2.5/5.
Overall, I'd put it at 3.5/5, rounded up since I feel a bit bad for ruining the ratings.

It's an interesting book. One of those books where you can't really trust reviews until you read it for yourself, because whether you think this is good or not will depend on the person.
I did receive this book for free from BookSirens, but my opinions are completely my own.

[Margaret Hamnett · Rating 5 out of 5]

We start off this story like the protagonist not knowing what the hell is going on but knowing it isn’t anything good.
As time goes on we find out our guy has had for lack of a better description an internet chip inserted into his brain and can access everything directly.
I liked the way we discover what is going on at the same time as the main character.
He has all the info in the world in his head but of course spends all his time looking at crap on social media.
Whilst this is a story about addiction and the evils of social media it still manages to be so funny.
It has a cyberpunk feel but along with the dark humour this makes for an original story that is hard to categorise.

[W.A. Stanley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an advance reader copy of Popsicle for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

Initially, I thought Popsicle was a horror story about a man discovering he’s in the process of eating another man’s head. As I read the book, though, it became apparent that horror is only one of the genres the book fits into, and head-eating aside, it’s a relatively minor one. The book is more focused on its science fiction and cyberpunk aspects, and its humour. While I’d hoped the book would be darkly humorous, it exceeded every expectation. This is not the straight horror I expected; it's so much more.

One of the book's author quotes compares the writing to Chuck Palahniuk, and indeed, it reminded me of Palahniuk in the best way possible, from the characters to the absurdist situations that feel entirely believable within the book’s world, through to the prose that explores the characters, situations and world in horrifyingly vivid detail.

Popsicle is a novella and a brief read. The author makes wonderful use of the limited space, packing in the horror elements, mystery, science fiction and cyberpunk trappings, mixed in with a great plot, brilliant characters and thematic resonance about social media addiction and love. She has packed a lot into the space, moving along quickly without feeling rushed; in fact, its length suits the story perfectly.

It's possible to read this in one sitting, which is the optimal way of enjoying . The story isn’t broken into chapters, and without those, the book is sparse on natural breaking points. While there are scene breaks interspersed throughout, these are predominantly utilised to break up the story between the current events and those set earlier. Instead of overwhelming the reader, this helps its fluidity.

The back and forth between the timelines works well. As it tells the story of its protagonist, Andre, who's been implanted with a technological device, it opens with him realising that he has been eating a stranger’s head. Confused by the events and lacking any memory of how he ended up in this position, he must retrace his steps. The mystery draws the reader in, and together with the protagonist, the reader uncovers these events. It’s an intriguing mystery—far from the standard whodunnit—that works brilliantly.

Much of the mystery’s brilliance comes down to its protagonist. While every character sings, they are seen through Andre’s unique perspective, which adds colour to an already colourful world. As the POV character, he is an alcoholic and drug addict whose life revolves around his vices. Through his candid narration, we learn everything we need to, and despite his numerous flaws, can’t help but enjoy following his exploits. He provides plenty of information about his backstory, how he slid into his world, and the mistakes he’s made along the way. This all serves to flesh Andre out and make him all the more relatable.

Andre’s point of view is written in the first person, in the present tense. In doing so, the prose brings a sense of immediacy to the story and ensures the reader uncovers its mysteries alongside the protagonist. Through Andre’s narration, imbued with wit throughout, the world and story’s more outrageous aspects feel natural, helping the reader suspend disbelief.

A further factor helping the reader suspend disbelief is the sense of humour. At times gross and often profane, this is not a book for younger readers. As the book opens, the reader is treated to candid narration, and quickly reaches its hilariously disgusting inciting incident. It doesn’t take long for the book to explain the titular “popsicle,” both an amusing aside and something that plays to the book’s themes. Packed with violence, profane language and sexual imagery, not all of it sanitary, but all of it played for laughs, Popsicle is not a book for younger readers, and some adults will struggle with the subject matter.

Popsicle is a wonderful book written in absolutely terrible taste. If the subject matter isn’t likely to offend or trigger you, you’ll find a great mystery with splashes of horror blended with a dystopian cyberpunk world. The book is full of hilarious moments, underpinned by its overarching themes of social media addiction and love.

My full review will be available on my website from 31 October, 2022. To read it (and a host of other reviews), click here.

[Sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to BookSirens and the publisher for the advanced copy! This is a fast paced, strange, fever-dream of a story. It follows the narrator, trying to piece together what happened during the previous day that led to him waking up in a sewer next to a dead guy. Interesting view on how similar an addiction to social media is to drugs and how far people will go for attention. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Elodie · Rating 3 out of 5]

***I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.***

More like a 3.5 on this one. It's a little hard to pin down, honestly.

There's a great Bill Bailey line where he told a too-long joke that flopped, then said: "Well that was a long walk down a windy beach to a café that was closed." This felt a little like that to me, except the beach was a rollercoaster; the wind was ghoulish fascination, dark humor, revulsion, and a weird blend of pathos and bathos; and the café wasn't closed, but instead of the fancy, quirky, indie bakery-patisserie-hookah café you were expecting, you ended up at a regular old Starbucks, which is, you know... fine! It's fine! It's good! Could have been a crappy gas station, or like... a dumpster or something... but it definitely isn't! It's a Starbucks, and it's clean, and they have PSLs and brownies. It's good.

My ridiculous analogies aside, I definitely enjoyed the ride in a very WTF-y kind of way. I did have to backtrack a couple times to figure out what was happening, but I blame that on my Swiss cheese brain, not the book. A lot of it has that weirdly fun perverse icky-but-I-can't-stop-looking feel, and the writing style really sucks you in. It's very dynamic and feels like a real character. Shades of Palahniuk for sure, and it made me think of John Dies At The End and Sorry To Bother You, which is absolutely a compliment. There's a fine balance between "weird and surreal" and "trying too hard by literally flinging feces around", and it's executed really well here.

I did feel like the end was a bit of a wah-wah sound effect. The "moral" or "message" is a smidge obvious and well-trodden, so I wish more had been done with the resolution, whether to subvert it or play it straight. There's definitely more room to this concept and character(s) to keep going.

[Lisbeth Ivies · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was not my typical read, but the premise and the excerpt I read influenced me enough to give it a try. Part near-future science fiction, part social-commentary-bordering-on-manifesto, the underbelly of New York ends up being a wise choice of setting. Even though Popsicle felt like a drug-induced trip at many times, some of the locations help ground an otherwise unmoored narrative.

I can honestly say I adamantly disliked the main character, but I still found myself turning page after page, actively rooting for him all the same. The read is not an easy one though, rambling and tumbling from one thought to another, one scene to another. Normally, this wouldn't have worked, but given happens within the novel and who the point of view character is, this style of approach made sense.

Two things kept this from being a must read for me though. One is the inconsistency with the use of dialect within prose. Every so often, a word would be misspelled or grammar bent to be more colloquial. Yet, this wasn't done enough I think, and it often just felt more like typos instead. The other issue I had was with just how often there would be time skips back or forth with little fanfare. Yes, the confusion makes sense with the story of the novel, but it didn't have to be convoluted enough that it was almost impossible to follow the thread without rereading a few sentences.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Kendelf · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a lot of fun to read! I don’t want to spoil any plot points outside of the blurb so I’ll go with that we as readers start by following Andre snapping back to reality and, rather alarmingly, finding himself chewing on a man’s face. We follow his footsteps as he tries to figure out how he reached the point of cannabilism with the script also quickly evolving into a study in transhumanism and just good ol’ humanity itself, with Andre and his own nature still remaining the main focus. He’s not a good man at all, I quite hated him, but he written real enough to still empathise with. The novels namesake should give most adults a laugh.

The pacing was fantastic for a novella of its length and felt just right for the way the story was told. The author quotes in the forward compare the storytelling to Palahniuk, Cronenberg and Philip K. Dick and I think that analysis is pretty spot on. Maybe throw in some Irvine Welsh as although they’re fairly different characters, Andre did raise an image of Mark Renton for me with his sassy takes on human nature.

I look forward to reading more from this author!

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this non biased review voluntarily.

[visceralreads · Rating 4 out of 5]

[3.5 stars rounded up]
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
Wow this is such a fever dream of a book. Literally. drug-induced hallucinations and philosophical questions. I really enjoyed watching Andre's past unfurl, answering questions as to why was he eating another man's face off in a sewer. It's fast-paced and full of dark humor at times, while also absolutely gross in a good way.
Personally, I would've liked less of Andre's personal life and more of the true nature of the device, but after reading Popsicle, it makes sense for Andre to be deep into trying to unravel the last few hours before delivering the final blow which is the ending.

[Kindlelover 1220 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Imagine coming to, you’re in a sewer and you’re eating another person. This book takes you on wild ride with an interesting plot and characters. Andre is an addict who uses people to get what he wants to support his addiction. He is in a sewer with a man that he doesn’t know and he also discovers that he is implanted with an electronic device. This takes him on a strange journey, where he needs to find out why he was implanted before it takes his life. This is an interesting mash up of genres and makes this story entertaining.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Artemis · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading this book so much that I finished it with no breaks in reading. It is one of the best dark sci-fi books I read so far. I wish it could have been longer, which is why I gave it only four stars, but there's not much wrong with the actual content in the book. It really makes you think about how much technology is becoming increasingly entangled with our lives and the ramifications that comes with it. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily. Thank you BookSirens and the author!

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I started this, I didn’t think I was going to rate it 5 stars.

The beginning is pretty gross but I kept reading and about the 60% mark my thoughts changed completely. There is a turning point in the story and we learn more about Andre and his background.

This is written so well too!

Plus… the cover is amazing so that helps too :)

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Jennifer Porter · Rating 4 out of 5]

**I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily**

This is a short, easy to read but twisted little story that shows us just how dangerous technology can become in the wrong hands.

Great descriptions and world building!

[Angell · Rating 4 out of 5]

A little boomer phone bad preachy but overall pretty good. The main character said he was totally homosexual but only talked about women? So I think that was a plot change and a typo in the book from what I can tell.

[Sami Henning · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book and it reminded me of a black mirror episode. I would definitely read more in this universe.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Dalia Elvira · Rating 3 out of 5]

Andre has no memory of how he got into the sewer and no memory of the man he’s eaten the face off of… he also has no idea what the device in his neck is. As he retraces his steps, he finds himself confronted by the reality of his drug addiction and the people he’s lost, including his ex-girlfriend Astrid.

This short story is loaded with social commentary on human connection, social media addiction and drug addiction. As the layers of the MC are pulled back, we find a very sad life riddled with bad decisions and loss. He’s not only uncovering a timeline, but also inadvertently finding his greater purpose. On the surface, we find that Astrid is the driving force that keeps him grounded and motivated to keep going, but on a deeper level, we can see that he’s “waking up” to what the world has become and what his role is in it.

What worked for me was how relevant this was to our current reality. We’ve forgotten how important human connection is. How valuable peace and space to think is. How meaningful a deep conversation with someone in person is. How important our actions towards our loved ones are. How important it is to remember that you do have a purpose. It’s asks some important questions and lays out some hard truths.

All that being said—I’m stuck on what this book ultimately sought out to achieve. On one hand, the author explores our addiction to the internet and social media and how it is no different than drug addiction. On the other, she suggests that we are venturing into a new world with knowledge at our fingertips and it is up to us to change the world using technology. It feels contradictory, like I missed something. It’s as though the one thing that destroys us, has the capability to make us better. Perhaps if we could find a way to balance the two, we could achieve something great?

Overall, I liked the writing style, the themes, the black mirror vibes and the commentary. I would recommend this book to someone looking for specific vibes and a quick read.

Have you read this book? What were your thoughts?

[Beronika Keres · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dark, entertaining read!

I was hooked from the first page, though very confused until Dre started putting together the horror of what he went through.

Dre was a real scumbag, but he made for an interesting and entertaining story despite his ample flaws. Considering his upbringing, it's no surprise he ended up on the path he did, but it's nice the experiment gave him a chance to turn his life around (in a messed up sort of way lol). I hope Astrid stays the hell away from him though.

This is such a great concept for a short story too, and there's a lot of truth in it. I know if I were surgically connected to the internet and social media without being able to turn it off, it would be a lot harder to resist scrolling for the sake of it.

I also found it cool how in the end, you realize the entire novella is a social media/blog post to his followers. It explains the fourth wall breaking that happens sometimes throughout the book. It was neat addition.

I'll gladly read another book by this author in the future!

*I received a free ARC of Popsicle, and am leaving this review voluntarily! Big thanks!*

[Lucy Leitner · Rating 5 out of 5]

This lived up to its blurb. Dark, but funny and quick-paced with something to say.