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Smacked
For six years Melinda Ferguson was driven by one motivating force - the next hit. For this, she would abandon her promising film-making career, lose her comfortable suburban home, her husband, her two children and, in a gruelling finale to six years of remorseless self-destruction, herself. Rescued from the maw of Hillbrow's drug and prostitution underworld, Melinda not only survived, but recovered to tell this harrowing tale of how an intelligent, middle-class girl from Joburg hits rock bottom, face first, and claws her way back to redemption.
315 pages, Paperback
First published August 23, 2011
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
December 15, 2016
An emotional onslaught. It took me 8 days to read this. 8 days of crying. Sniffling. Reflecting. Questioning. 8 days of "Girl, why you gone on and did that to your self?". 8 days of wanting to claw at the words and BITCH SLAP Melinda. 8 days of "Hey, this life is challenging enough with a strong body and mind, why do you weaken yourself like that?".
Melinda gave me a harrowingly chilling account of her drug-filled life in the underbelly of Johannesburg, Hillbrow. Why do they call it "Little Lagos" beats me. Maybe it is the chaotic disorderly mess that it is...
I read this with a held breath till page 141 when Melinda's kids are literally ripped from her. Then I exhaled. My heart was full of joy. Joy at her babies getting the nourishment needed to create and sustain healthy bodies. Joy that her boys will now have a fighting chance at life. Joy that her boys will grow up surrounded by functioning adults doing normal life sustaining tasks. Like eating. Having a positive purpose. Joy that someone loves them enough to put them first.
A bittersweet moment for Melinda. I thought that it was going to be a wakeup call for her. A defining moment where she realises that this is it. This drugging has to stop. This is the time that she reclaimed her life.
But she went on 6 weeks of madness. Utter uncontrollable chaos. A death wish. A twisted satanic cry for help. Was she trying to mask the hurt of having her kids taken away from her by her mother-in-law? I first read "6 Weeks In Hell" in the Sept 2001 edition of True Love magazine and I was shocked beyond measure. Shaken to the core. My kids were toddlers then, 5 and 2 years old. I must admit that I was disgusted by Melinda's behaviour. "Selfish" I shouted at the article. Children are demanding at any age. They require that you be sane enough, sober enough, motivated enough to handle your business in order to handle their business. I remember that I concluded that Melinda had "White girl problems". The kind of problems one has when one has too much money. The kind which require you to take time off your life in order to address them. The kind that requires tens of thousands of rands to be sorted out. In hindsight, I realise that I was a bit haste in my judgement.
I loved Melinda's honest account. Her drug filled existence couldn't be called a life. A life is full of promise, hope, a better tomorrow. Her drug filed existence was so fast. Even the narration demands that one reads in a fast pace. I guess drugs do that. Your life literally passes you buy. Your days are about getting drugs and getting high. That's it. The END. But she lived to tell the tale.
The recovery period was slow, long and painful. I was hit by the phrase "Getting clean and staying stopped". Willing your body and mind off the drugs every second. Minute. Hour. Day. Week. Months. Years. The narrative is meaty and wordy. I coud feel her reclaiming her life. Her senses. I felt her detetmination to be, to have and to do better. I felt her wanting better for her body and soul in order to be a better mother, daughter, sister, partner and employee. I was rooting for her and squealing in delight when she went on a solo trip to Mozambique. Melinda, it is truly in acknowledging our weaknesses do we embrace our strengths.
Addiction at any form takes so much away from a person. It especially roots out your self confidence, your self belief. It weakens everything about you. It is a disease of "CAN'Ts". You become dysfunctional.
Rebuilding her life one brick at a time. Waking up with a clear plan. Remembering to perform minute ablution tasks. Eating for nourishment. Willing her mind to think positive thoughts one syllable at a time. Planning to work at it and WORKING THE PLAN.
A true account of beating addiction. Living your best life and working at beating addiction one day at a time.
Highly recommended. 5 PHAT STARS ☆☆☆☆☆.
NB: An academic was heard at a literary festival saying that:"IF SOMEONE SAYS THAT THEY'VE READ YOUR BOOK IN A SINGLE SITTING, BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID".
Melinda gave me a harrowingly chilling account of her drug-filled life in the underbelly of Johannesburg, Hillbrow. Why do they call it "Little Lagos" beats me. Maybe it is the chaotic disorderly mess that it is...
I read this with a held breath till page 141 when Melinda's kids are literally ripped from her. Then I exhaled. My heart was full of joy. Joy at her babies getting the nourishment needed to create and sustain healthy bodies. Joy that her boys will now have a fighting chance at life. Joy that her boys will grow up surrounded by functioning adults doing normal life sustaining tasks. Like eating. Having a positive purpose. Joy that someone loves them enough to put them first.
A bittersweet moment for Melinda. I thought that it was going to be a wakeup call for her. A defining moment where she realises that this is it. This drugging has to stop. This is the time that she reclaimed her life.
But she went on 6 weeks of madness. Utter uncontrollable chaos. A death wish. A twisted satanic cry for help. Was she trying to mask the hurt of having her kids taken away from her by her mother-in-law? I first read "6 Weeks In Hell" in the Sept 2001 edition of True Love magazine and I was shocked beyond measure. Shaken to the core. My kids were toddlers then, 5 and 2 years old. I must admit that I was disgusted by Melinda's behaviour. "Selfish" I shouted at the article. Children are demanding at any age. They require that you be sane enough, sober enough, motivated enough to handle your business in order to handle their business. I remember that I concluded that Melinda had "White girl problems". The kind of problems one has when one has too much money. The kind which require you to take time off your life in order to address them. The kind that requires tens of thousands of rands to be sorted out. In hindsight, I realise that I was a bit haste in my judgement.
I loved Melinda's honest account. Her drug filled existence couldn't be called a life. A life is full of promise, hope, a better tomorrow. Her drug filed existence was so fast. Even the narration demands that one reads in a fast pace. I guess drugs do that. Your life literally passes you buy. Your days are about getting drugs and getting high. That's it. The END. But she lived to tell the tale.
The recovery period was slow, long and painful. I was hit by the phrase "Getting clean and staying stopped". Willing your body and mind off the drugs every second. Minute. Hour. Day. Week. Months. Years. The narrative is meaty and wordy. I coud feel her reclaiming her life. Her senses. I felt her detetmination to be, to have and to do better. I felt her wanting better for her body and soul in order to be a better mother, daughter, sister, partner and employee. I was rooting for her and squealing in delight when she went on a solo trip to Mozambique. Melinda, it is truly in acknowledging our weaknesses do we embrace our strengths.
Addiction at any form takes so much away from a person. It especially roots out your self confidence, your self belief. It weakens everything about you. It is a disease of "CAN'Ts". You become dysfunctional.
Rebuilding her life one brick at a time. Waking up with a clear plan. Remembering to perform minute ablution tasks. Eating for nourishment. Willing her mind to think positive thoughts one syllable at a time. Planning to work at it and WORKING THE PLAN.
A true account of beating addiction. Living your best life and working at beating addiction one day at a time.
Highly recommended. 5 PHAT STARS ☆☆☆☆☆.
NB: An academic was heard at a literary festival saying that:"IF SOMEONE SAYS THAT THEY'VE READ YOUR BOOK IN A SINGLE SITTING, BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID".
April 23, 2010
One never quite understands how a person can be addicted to drugs or alcohol. After reading this book I sort of decided not to be too judgmental on people that have addictive personalities! I think this book also spurred me on to stop my smoking habit of 28 years. If some one can give up drugs, I certainly could try to stop smoking. I have not touched a cigarette for 2 years and hope never too either - but you never know.
June 21, 2019
This book will shake you to your very core. This is a very brave, very raw account of the life of an addict. At times I wasn’t sure if I could push on any further as the no holds barred storytelling burns shocking imagery into your imagination with every page. Every parent should read this. It will remind you to never say never.
February 6, 2015
This took me on a roller coaster ride. There were times that I hoped it would end soon, then, when I started getting to the end I hoped there was a sequel.
Melinda has bared her soul, lived a "train of traumas" and constantly addressed the sorry's necessary in living well. It's palpable that's she's doing her utmost best to live a path with heart and walk her talk "It's fine to say sorry, but what are you going to do about it?".
Some of my favorite quotes:
- "I know nothing but that to die is not that easy, and to live is not easy either"
- "Don't flirt with Heroin, it will Marry You."
- "Addiction is like an insidious cancer that stays hidden; it lurks, waiting. Sometimes it slides into remission. There are people four, eleven or twenty years clean and sober who all say that unless they stay connected to the fellowship, they will use. Unless they stay vigilant and in the "programme', they will use.
- "Sometimes I long for release from the restlessness of reality" - I think this is often what starts the need to numb/addiction.
- How my strength is my weakness.
- And then it hits me like a lightening flash: there is no one ending. There are just endless possibilities of life.
- As I got into the loop of reaching out of myself to other people, I became full with something intangible, something that was far more satisfying than any drug I had ever used. The more I gave the more I got instead!!!
"It is miraculous how the words gather beside one another to portray a life.....a whole life.......my life....... - In Melinda's own words that's exactly how I felt, a beautifully written human story that will stay with me for a long long time.
Melinda has bared her soul, lived a "train of traumas" and constantly addressed the sorry's necessary in living well. It's palpable that's she's doing her utmost best to live a path with heart and walk her talk "It's fine to say sorry, but what are you going to do about it?".
Some of my favorite quotes:
- "I know nothing but that to die is not that easy, and to live is not easy either"
- "Don't flirt with Heroin, it will Marry You."
- "Addiction is like an insidious cancer that stays hidden; it lurks, waiting. Sometimes it slides into remission. There are people four, eleven or twenty years clean and sober who all say that unless they stay connected to the fellowship, they will use. Unless they stay vigilant and in the "programme', they will use.
- "Sometimes I long for release from the restlessness of reality" - I think this is often what starts the need to numb/addiction.
- How my strength is my weakness.
- And then it hits me like a lightening flash: there is no one ending. There are just endless possibilities of life.
- As I got into the loop of reaching out of myself to other people, I became full with something intangible, something that was far more satisfying than any drug I had ever used. The more I gave the more I got instead!!!
"It is miraculous how the words gather beside one another to portray a life.....a whole life.......my life....... - In Melinda's own words that's exactly how I felt, a beautifully written human story that will stay with me for a long long time.
December 19, 2014
I read this book in one sitting - i could not put it down. When i was finished, i felt drained emotionally. It was a gift to be able to get a glimpse of het mind and her journey.
January 5, 2021
This book was close to home, as addiction is in my family.
After reading the book it gave me some insight into the way an addict's mind works, whether it is drugs, alcohol or any other addiction it is a mental health issue and needs to be treated as one.
Unfortunately the UK and US does not do enough to treat the patients that they have to live with these issues.
However if you would like to have some insight regarding this issue then read this.
After reading the book it gave me some insight into the way an addict's mind works, whether it is drugs, alcohol or any other addiction it is a mental health issue and needs to be treated as one.
Unfortunately the UK and US does not do enough to treat the patients that they have to live with these issues.
However if you would like to have some insight regarding this issue then read this.
July 16, 2013
This is a definite must read!! Melinda takes you on her journey to drug addiction losing everything and getting back up! You will want to put the book down because you can't believe what just happened, but you will quickly pick it up because you want to know what happens next.
It is one of my best reads this year
It is one of my best reads this year
July 18, 2012
Very hard to read emotionally.
November 13, 2012
A shocking, moving and haunting read. This book rings with truth and conviction.
May 10, 2018
I think every one planning on experimenting with drugs needs to read this book so they realise how addictive drugs are and the length an addict is willing to go just to get a fix.
September 20, 2017
Seven hours. That is how long it took me to read this book. And I still owe Melinda the money for it. She is an amazing honest and relevant writer. I regularly attend her writing workshops and have found them to be the closest thing to the truth. Melinda's journey is bleeds though each page. Each encounter so poignantly described taking the reader to the dingy passages of Hillbrow to lay next to her as she comes down from the high that will beckon her next hit. The clarity with which she tells her story begs the reader to align themselves closer to their own truth.
Beautiful human being whose energy attracts others to invest in their beauty.
Beautiful human being whose energy attracts others to invest in their beauty.
July 26, 2021
I can't imagine the bravery it took to for the author to detail her experience of her addiction so openly.
Every painful, shameful experience of my own would be a nursery rhyme compared to this. Jee-sus.
Also: Many people can't seem to grasp how an addict only lives in one's addiction. There's a very raw, real feeling of the author's life,thoughts and experience that I hope conveys a better understanding of the misery and cycle.
Your family should be nothing but proud of you!
Every painful, shameful experience of my own would be a nursery rhyme compared to this. Jee-sus.
Also: Many people can't seem to grasp how an addict only lives in one's addiction. There's a very raw, real feeling of the author's life,thoughts and experience that I hope conveys a better understanding of the misery and cycle.
Your family should be nothing but proud of you!
May 7, 2025
It takes a brave, fearless and utterly smacked down soul to write an autobiography like this.
You get sucked in quickly from the start. Then it envelops, bombards and swirls you with the voracity and chaos of a tornado. Finally, it releases you with emotions of relief, deep sadness, empathy and hope.
The scary part of this book is that deals with addiction. While the narrative focuses primarily on drug addiction, it tells the story of ALL types of addiction. As the author says, addiction is the disease of wanting more, and more, and more, and more … at all costs to friends, family and oneself. Addiction holds no prisoners; it destroys, uses, abuses and betrays everyone and everything in its path.
The final few pages of the book, point to a new life and a new path for recovering-surviving addicts. But it promises no guarantees.
Even if you have not touched a single drug or illicit substance in your life, you will find something in this book that will stay with you for a very long time.
You get sucked in quickly from the start. Then it envelops, bombards and swirls you with the voracity and chaos of a tornado. Finally, it releases you with emotions of relief, deep sadness, empathy and hope.
The scary part of this book is that deals with addiction. While the narrative focuses primarily on drug addiction, it tells the story of ALL types of addiction. As the author says, addiction is the disease of wanting more, and more, and more, and more … at all costs to friends, family and oneself. Addiction holds no prisoners; it destroys, uses, abuses and betrays everyone and everything in its path.
The final few pages of the book, point to a new life and a new path for recovering-surviving addicts. But it promises no guarantees.
Even if you have not touched a single drug or illicit substance in your life, you will find something in this book that will stay with you for a very long time.
June 23, 2017
I don't enjoy misery memoirs, and found large chunks of this honest, easy-to-read account of the author's drug addiction and eventual recovery relentlessly harrowing (hence 3 instead of 4 stars). I started reading it because I know the author, have addicts in my familial genepool, and wanted more insight. I kept reading because even as the story got more and more wretched, the writing had a sparkle and a flow that keeps the eyes racing over the pages. Recommended for everyone wrestling with addiction -- their own, or that of loved ones -- also, an effortless read, not intimidating or preachy at all.
July 20, 2018
Wow. I could not put this down- what a rollercoaster ride of emotions.
Well written, thought provoking, heart breaking. Highly recommended.
Well written, thought provoking, heart breaking. Highly recommended.
September 12, 2022
Anyone who battles addiction, or who loves someone who does, should read this.
March 11, 2023
This book was heart wrenching. It’s hard to believe that a person can go through so much and still be standing. It’s gives me hope.
April 23, 2024
couldn’t put it down
I read through Smacked in 2 days, it was riveting. A bit hard to digest at times, the author does not hold back.
I read through Smacked in 2 days, it was riveting. A bit hard to digest at times, the author does not hold back.
October 18, 2025
excellent
July 28, 2008
The true and harrowing tale of a Johannesburg junkie. Strangely enough, I'd rather seek her out at a meeting and listen to her share than read the end of the story. I made a once of exception to the rule that I must finish the books I begin. I really was happy to skim through the last third of the book. Despite saying this, I really do recommend you run out and read this book now.
May 12, 2014
This book evoked different emotions, as a mother I was upset and angry and could not contemplate how you could neglect your children and deliberately put them in harms way. However by end the of book I was more tolerant. Not that agree with her actions however I am more understanding from an addicts point of view. Very gripping read.
April 18, 2013
Written with a style that of a seasoned author, Ms Ferguson's "Smacked" is the best 'Tell All' book to come out in South Africa. From the first Chapter you are introduced to a very dark incident of this woman's rape and addiction to drugs.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 30, 2013
Harrowing but poignantly honest and inspiring account of the ravages of the addiction disease. Perfect book to read just before the New Year ...with its resounding message of hope and determination built on the recognition of ones weaknesses....
March 18, 2015
I really liked the narrative voice in this book. Sometimes it was a bit hard to read because of the depressing vibe, and sometimes it seemed like it was going round in circles. But at least she got better.
June 29, 2016
I really liked the narrative voice in this book... There was so much truth and honesty. A painful story but a beautiful and captivating read. I could not put the book down.... I am reading it again. STELLAR WRITTING...
June 26, 2012
Interesting read so far
July 5, 2014
Another family memoir: one written by somebody in my extended family. A harrowing tale that is all the more terrifying for knowing some of the protagonists.
March 8, 2015
There, but for the grace of God, go I
March 1, 2015
Harrowing. Searing honesty.
I'm glad she lived to tell the tale.
I'm glad she lived to tell the tale.
July 11, 2021
Honest. Authentic. Powerful and beautifully written. Must read.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews