Alternadad

by Neal Pollack

A few years ago, Neal Pollack was probably the least likely father you've ever met: a pop-culture-obsessed writer and self-styled party guy known mostly for outrageous literary antics. In typical fashion, he responded to the birth of his son by forming a mediocre rock band and taking it on tour. Now, in Alternadad, he tells the hilarious and poignant story of how he learned to be a father to his son, Elijah, after the failure of his short-lived rock-n-roll dreams.
Pollack and his wife, Regina, were determined to raise their son without growing up too much themselves. They welcomed the responsibility but were worried that they'd become uptight and out of touch. Through the ups and downs of the first years of their son's life their determination is put to the test, and they find themselves changing in ways they never expected, particularly after Elijah develops a biting problem in preschool.
Alternadad is a refreshingly honest book about the wonders, terrors, and idiocies of parenting today. From enrolling his son in an absurd corporate gymnastics class to a disastrous visit to a rock festival to uncomfortable encounters with other parents whom he'd ordinarily avoid, Pollack candidly explores the everyday struggles and the long-term compromises that come with parenthood.
Mixing ironic skepticism with an appreciation for the absurdities of everyday life, Alternadad is a portrait of a new version of the American family: responsible if unorthodox parents raising kids who know the difference between the Ramones and the Sex Pistols. Wildly funny, surprising, and often moving, it just might be the parenting bible for a new generation of mothers and fathers.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Parenting, Humor, Biography Memoir, Biography

304 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2000

About the author

Neal Pollack’s first book, The Neal Pollack Anthology of American Literature, was published in 2000, becoming an (almost) instant cult classic. His debut novel, Never Mind the Pollacks, hit shelves in 2003, and was shamelessly promoted by his band, The Neal Pollack Invasion. In 2007, he published Alternadad, a best-selling memoir. In 2010, Pollack became a certified yoga teacher and published Stretch, a nonfiction account of his adventures in American yoga culture. He has contributed to The New York Times, Wired, Slate, Yoga Journal, and Vanity Fair, among many other publications. Thomas & Mercer published his historical noir novel Jewball in March 2012, and debuted his "yoga detective" novel, Downward-Facing Death, in serialized fiction form in September, 2012. His latest book, a time-traveling romantic comedy called Repeat, will be published in March 2015. He and his wife, the painter Regina Allen, live with their son in Austin, Texas.

Reviews

[Christopher Ashley · Rating 2 out of 5]

dear neil pollock:

listening to the clash and shopping at whole foods does not make you an "alternative" dad. neither does ignoring your family.

sincerely,
chris pez
(not so alternative dad of juliet, 9 and sam, 8)

[Christine · Rating 1 out of 5]

lame. lame. lame.
this guy spent more time explaining the brands of organic food he bought for his kid than explaining how he remained "cool" while being a father. I suspect he was never cool.

[Lani · Rating 2 out of 5]

Alright, I only paid $5 for this book, and that was about how much I should have spent on it.

The book was mildly entertaining, but suffered from exactly what it was advertised to be... true stories of a hipster dad and his hipster wife raising a kid. It is full of cute stories of their growing son, and the trials and tribulations of being a parent in a neighborhood 'in transistion' with the problems that go along with parenting, not having real jobs, and not managing money well.

It's not that I felt these guys were terrible parents, but they certainly did some things that I thought were rather silly. Mostly it was just a book about people I wouldn't like very much as people - they are the hipster kids I make fun of, and carry that into their child-rearing techniques.

But the end is what got me. Suddenly it all became clear. This was not a book about a dad raising his son, or parents trying to find their way in the tricky obstacle-laden course that is being self-employed snobs that can't make their house payments. This book was a chance to justify the author's parenting.

To summarize - the son is a biter as a toddler and gets kicked out of preschool, the author decides to write an article (for Salon.com maybe?) about the situation and how terrible it is, The Internet Attacks, wife feels like a terrible mother and cries. Husband decides to write book so that people won't think they are terrible people.

After that chapter that seemed to explain all the rest... I was done. Fortunately I was pretty much done with the book anyway - they only had one more financially stupid decision left to make, and they lived happily ever after.

To be fair, I did enjoy some parts of the book. I really respected the wife and her approach to pregnancy and the birthing process, and the chapter about Elijah's birth was both interesting and painful to read. And the kid's cute in that way that only 2 year olds at a distance can be. Someone who can relate to the stories and the struggles may enjoy this more than I did, and people with a higher hipster tolerance may not get as easily irritate by the author.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

Despite the ridiculous cover (I LOATHE facial piercings), this book is a pretty fantastic read for anyone approaching parenthood who could even remotely consider themselves a hipster.

Neal and his wife, Regina, are a writer and an artist who find themselves pregnant and living in that hipster mecca of the world (no, not Brooklyn, I'm talking about COOL hipsters here...) Austin. Neal documents the whole process from meeting his wife through a personal ad in Chicago (Wayward Southern Belle seeks man with penchant for scatalogical humor) through dealing with his son's own penchant for biting cute girls...and everyone else.

I imagine this is the closest thing I'll read to what Sam and I will actually go through with this baby, from tolerating our not-always-so-great neighborhood to getting a lump in the throat when your child says "I want to listen to Johnny Cash." Neal even goes on tour about a year into his son's life, and Sam's planning a pretty lengthy tour when this baby will be 7 months. I laughed out loud from the beginning, and even though Neal and Regina have their annoying points, who wouldn't if you were actually completely honest about your life.

I only wish Neal weren't a pot smoker. I really have a seething hatred for pot. I think it makes people morons, and whenever I find out someone smokes pot, I lose a little respect for them. Not the I-used-to-smoke-some-in-high-school/college kind, but the regular partakers. And parents who smoke pot with kids in the home? What the ef? I just don't like it. That's my rant.

I wrote a little blog entry inspired by my reading of this book. You can read it at: http://habariganikate.blogspot.com/

I'm probably too tired to be writing with any semblance of sense right now, so forgive me. But read this book if you're having a baby soon or have one now, and have ever been in a band or found yourself at SXSW. You'll get a kick out of it.

[Justin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Neal Pollack clearly has a high opinion of himself. He's a "cool" guy who won't stop being cool just because he has a kid, damn it. He comes off as a self-involved ass and his parenting skills aren't that great. He relies far too much on TV shows, and thinks that shopping for high-end organic food and occasionally waking up before 10 am makes him a good dad.

Still, despite these grating qualities, I enjoyed his book and found myself liking him against my better judgment. I get the feeling he's exaggerating many of his foibles for the narrative effect. If he's really the way he's portrayed himself here, his wife is a saint for putting up with his shit, and I don't have high hopes for Elijah's future. I think the truth is that he loves his wife and son and tries his hardest to be a good dad, but thought it would be much "cooler" to come off as a clueless hipster douchebag.

This was a very fast easy read. If nothing else, it made me feel a lot better about my own skills as a father and husband. At least I'm not like this guy...

[RandomAnthony · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't know, I didn't think this book was that good. Pollack isn't a bad writer, but he's smarmy and privileged (oh my God! I don't get to go out every night when I have a kid!) and feels comfortable making broad, silly assumptions based on the one article his wife finds on google that cooresponds with his perspective. How convenient. I appreciate him trying to delve hard into the complexity of parenthood, and every now and then he does a good job of acknowledging his own mistakes and successes, but he lets himself off the hook, and presents himself as the expert of all things based on shoddy research, too much for my liking. Blah.

[John · Rating 1 out of 5]

Blah, was it just a look in the mirror and not liking what I saw? Pollack's done some decent work, but this was a waste. For someone with kids it was tedious; for someone without them it would have to be effective birth control. Sure all of us can sit back and laugh at the yuppies, low rents, and suburbanites but to make a book on it?

[Matt · Rating 1 out of 5]

Dreadful to the point of unpleasantness. Made me irritated with the author at the time, and that was long before I had a kid of my own. Really, I cannot find enough negative things to say about this book, so I'm not even going to try.

[Becky · Rating 2 out of 5]

A teacup of cute anecdotes along with a large serving of "Neal Pollack needs to get over himself already."

[Erik · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was warned and didn't listen. What an a-hole.

[Meg · Rating 2 out of 5]

moderately interesting from a new parent perspective but it mostly made me thankful that I wasn't married to Neal Pollack

[J · Rating 4 out of 5]

A year or two into being married, my wife came up with the novel belief that I really liked ducks. Where this notion came from, what inspired this odd fancy, it is impossible to say. Reality was certainly not consulted. While I don’t have any special appreciation or loathing for ducks, beyond occasionally feeding them some stale bread I had given them little attention up to that point. Sure, Daffy Duck was my favorite cartoon character, though this was more from his personality than his species.

What followed were little duck toys, duck-related or duck-themed cards and gift wrapping, and so on. Ducks ducks ducks.

After the birth of our daughter, this sort of kicked into a fake belief that “my husband and daughter both love ducks” (though the latter did eventually develop such a love). The number of duck stuffed animals – including an enormous one big enough that at five years old my daughter can still ride it like a horse – multiplied. As did picture books about ducks. One father’s day, I received a black t-shirt with three little yellow ducks in a row, all pimped out with various urban bling, and the motto “Respect My Peeps” below it. The Littlest Critic picked that one out, no doubt encouraged or even egged on by her mother. Since I almost never wear printed shirts out of the house, that went straight to the pajama pile; it would have even if I didn’t mind being a walking billboard.

Come another father’s day and what should I find, but the volume under review, chosen no doubt not because the two women in my life know I rather liked Neal Pollack’s previous The Neal Pollack Anthology of American Literature or his stint at blogging (link not for the faint-hearted or easily offended and, frankly, explaining the actual subtleties of the satire in that post would require massive amounts of playing catch-up in the internet lore of long ago; you weren’t there, you don’t get it, move along).

Anyway…where was I? Oh yes, so, as you may note the image up above, a duck upon the cover was a sure sign that this was going in the basket. Luckily, again, as I said, Pollack has been hilarious in the past.

But…ah, yes, you saw that “but” coming didn’t you. A tale told by Pollack about he and his wife, the painter Regina, raising their son, Elijah. Such a tome would appeal to a stay-at-home dad, certainly, and so I looked forward to this volume with eager anticipation.

And it is funny. Yes. It’s funny. In places. There are passages where I laughed out loud and passages where I chuckled a bit and passages where I smiled in recognition. The chapter on circumcision is probably the funniest thing in the book, filled as it is with outrage, with Jewish guilt, with the clash of generations. Pollack even manages to make us feel things with emotions that aren’t on the outrage end of the spectrum. It’s the book’s finest moment.

Because Pollack does funny very well. Almost abnormally well. What isn’t apparent from this memoir is that he’s as good at delivering earnestness and heartfelt sentiment. It comes across, yes, that he loves his wife and son, but it just doesn’t make you feel the same way. I didn’t love Elijah, and a parenting memoir has to make you feel about the children in question the way the author-parent does. If there’s a bully on the playground who’s picking on your child, you too must feel anger toward that bully. If there is a beloved friend who is moving away, you too as reader, must tear up watching the moving van as it drifts off down the street. And most importantly, all the joys and challenges of raising a child, the author must give those to you as if they were your very own delights and burdens.

Pollack gives us the burdens without any difficulty. When Elijah becomes a biter and is expelled from pre-school after months of disruptive behavior, it’s not hard to feel the same kinds of frustrations as the author. When a withering comment from a nasty über-mom at a playground irks Pollack, you too want to tell the lady, “Shove it, bitch.” There’s a been there, done that quality to those moments that you can relate to, even if you’re not a parent, and Pollack channels those emotions right onto the page with grace and humor.

But I didn’t love Elijah. Not even a little. I can’t put my finger on where this book doesn’t work for me exactly but there are things that bothered me enough while reading it that I commented on it to The Wife. For starters, we’ll just return to the idea that Pollack is a satirist and a grounding in satire isn’t usually the best launchpad for your touchy feely moments.

Also, as you can tell from various other projects of Pollack’s (the above mentioned anthology, his band the Neal Pollack Invasion, a novel entitled Never Mind the Pollacks, his former website nealpollack.com, a column for Nerve.com called “Bad Sex with Neal Pollack, etc. etc.), there is one over-riding interest in the author’s life and that, my friends, is Neal Pollack. This is all fine and good for certain purposes and the essays in The Neal Pollack Anthology of American Literature where he constantly and lavishly overpraises himself are hilarious for their obvious overreach. To see that same sort of generalized selfishness and self-centeredness in a parenting memoir is a little more than irritating. It takes center stage and as a result, the character of Elijah flattens out immensely and we read more about Elijah as a thing to which Pollack reacts, rather than a human being with whom he relates.

Pollack spends an inordinate amount of time worrying that his son won’t be cool enough, that he himself is not cool enough, that his coolness is shrinking or growing or whatever. The sheer volume of the obsession with coolness is in and of itself decidedly uncool and grows quickly annoying. The only types of people who worry this much about coolness are junior high school students and as a portrait of growth, Pollack barely finishes the book any more mature than he was when it started. The juvenile descriptions of his drug experiences likewise don’t come off Hunter S. Thompsonish but more that one kid you went to school with who was always bragging about how baked he got before homeroom. Maybe in his private life that isn’t so, but what’s on the page is a carping, harping collection of instances where Pollack is determined to shine as a cool dad who makes his son as rock ‘n’ roll savvy as he can.

Now perhaps this is the kind of reflection that would dog any parenting memoir. Parenting styles differ so very much from person to person that you’ll probably never come across a book on the subject in which you don’t take issue with any number of ways people are raising their children. A memoir of this kind unfortunately opens the reader up to being that nosey busybody at the grocery store who chimes in with her two cents about what you’re doing wrong as a parent.

Once, in the library, while standing between two rows of DVDs, I was holding TLC by the wrists and gently swinging her to keep her from pulling all the DVDs off the shelf as a two year old is wont to do. A grandmotherly type came up to me and told me I shouldn’t do that as I’d “pull her arms right out of the socket.” I thanked her, let go of TLC’s wrists, bent over, picked her up by her ankles, and set about swinging her as I had been doing seconds before. The old lady shook her head in disgust and walked away muttering to herself. Reading Pollack’s book made me feel like I was that old lady.

For example, sometime after the birth of his son, Pollack gets it into his head to start a punk-rock band despite his sheer lack of musical ability, probably because of that fact. He goes out on a multi-week tour, leaving his wife at home alone with the baby, not because he’s always been a rocker, but because he gets the idea to do this. As a lifestyle choice, I’d say, why not. As a parenting choice, I can’t help but think it’s incredibly selfish and a bit pointless. When I found myself audibly tsking, I felt embarrassed of myself as a reviewer for letting my own parenting style get in the way of my judgment of the book itself. Pollack never goes out of his way to make his decision at all comprehensible to his readers. He just states that it’s something he “needs to do,” whining this kind of thing to his amazingly lenient and forgiving wife.

Later, when the Pollacks make the decision to put Elijah into daycare at 18 months, again I found myself shaking my head with granny-ish scorn. With both he and Regina working from home, he on his writing, she on her painting, you’d think they’d equitably split the child care duties and everyone would be happy. You’d think they could schedule themselves to take advantage of naptime and early bedtime and divvy up watching their son while the other works.

Not so. To be fair, Pollack’s work brings in the majority of the family’s cash so it’s a necessity that he have time to write, but so much of his time seems to focus on shirking and goofing off, cruising the neighborhood stoned to the gills, forming rock bands, etc. that the decision to shunt Elijah off to daycare just comes off as another selfish choice. Somehow, with two adults under one roof with a child, neither Neal nor his wife can quite summon up the reserves to alternate time spent with their son, even accounting for what sounds like a prodigious amount of television watching based on the list of shows Pollack documents.

By the time I’d gotten around to the biting stage of the story, I didn’t really have much interest in finishing the book. I just wanted to be done so I could say I finished the book. Pollack’s childless self-involvement was amusing because it had an unbridled “that’s what I’d have said in that situation if I’d had the guts” quality to it. Inchoate reaction to the world can be funny, but I was hoping that a grown up Pollack would have, well, grown up.

The man has more responsibilities and he does love his son more than his own coolness (a scene at a Spongebob movie demonstrates that handily), but his legend in his own mind status rides uneasily alongside his parenting. The asshole I loved to read at the century’s beginning is now just someone’s asshole dad who wants to be cool, and that’s not nearly as fun. If enlightenment had come along for the ride, this book might have been a far greater pleasure to read. Self-awareness brings with it the knowledge that you aren't really cool; that no one really is after all. Elijah will probably be doing a greater share of eyerolling at his father’s antics once high school hits, and Captain Oblivion will be just another dad then.

[Mary · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don't even know what to say. He's good to his kid, but it's difficult to enjoy reading about a child-like grown man raising a child. It wasn't in the least amusing, it was pathetic.

[Jeff Fleischman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Neal Pollack’s expedition into parenting is the subject matter in this alternately hilarious and seriously introspective look at what it’s like to raise a child in today’s progressive and politically correct world. Pollack takes his readers on a ride through the learning curve of adulthood as it merges with parenthood. His insights, his struggles and his conclusions are what formulate this very real look at what it’s ultimately like to raise a kid in the early 21st Century.
Within Pollack’s book, the primary message that exists is the necessity for parents to raise their children in a manner that is convergent with whom they are as parents. However, entering into marriage and ultimately parenthood forces compromise on both the individual -- Pollack, in this case -- and his spouse, Regina. A music enthusiast, and freelance writer who more than dabbles in marijuana use, Pollack’s desire to remain relatively “hip” is compromised by a necessity to provide an income for his family and an obligation to fatherhood. Pollack perseveres through some self-indulgent behavior to ultimately grasp the best way parenting works for him, his wife and their son. Pollack is proud of the decisions he and his wife make in regard to Elijah’s upbringing, and this helps support the unstated assertion that parents need to select a path that honors who they are as individuals, and who they are as a couple, while maintaining the focus on raising a child within these parameters.
Pollack’s writing style is fluid, easy-to-read and downright amusing. He has the storytelling ability to intermingle real-life stories with his candid and often crude commentary about the people involved. Often, Pollack presents a self-deprecating manner to his writing, and this allows readers – particularly those of us who are parents – to laugh at him as we inherently laugh at ourselves for making similar mistakes in our parenting. While Pollack’s humor is able to carry him through with something resembling grace, the book does digress significantly at times. Some of the stories he tells drag on for pages, and some do not deliver the humorous effect he seeks. Also, some of the decisions he makes as a father are deplorable. That said, it is hard to like everything I do in my own parenting, so it is even more difficult to be judgmental as an outsider looking from a distance at his choices.
Certainly, we all make our own choices as parents, but Pollack’s book is worthwhile just for the abundance of laughs it provides. The missteps of parenting are humorous, if not in the present than certainly in retrospect. And Pollack is able to laugh at himself throughout. I have had the pleasure of reading another Pollack non-fiction book in Stretch: The Unlikely Making of a Yoga Dude, and it is written in a similar manner and style as Alternadad. They are both good selections. However, Jewball, a fictional take on a real piece of American history is my favorite Pollack book.

[Ronald Wise · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an entertaining report of one couple’s experience in their first years of parenthood. The uniqueness of their story is difficult to gauge, except that the father is a successful writer who’s willing to reveal their story to the world, and so we have a somewhat unusual inside look into the personal ups and downs in their effort to be cool parents raising a super-cool kid.

This book placed in a clearer perspective a couple of my evolving conclusions regarding the parenting of young children. The first is that there is a huge qualitative difference between being a “fun” adult who enjoys occasionally playing with them vs. being the adult who is always responsible for them (i.e., changing their diapers, keeping them clean, and knowing when and how to discipline them). After finishing this book, I re-listened to a 2007 radio interview with Pollack from his promotional tour of this book, and his comments brought back memories of my sister’s children, with whom I had tried to remain the “fun” uncle – as long my sister or her husband was readily available when one of the kids suddenly smelled bad or started to act out of control.

The other conclusion is that parents are never sure that they’re doing it right, while there are always other adults willing to give "expert" advice on how they are doing it wrong. This book provides a rather extreme example of this phenomenon in which Pollack describes the attacks he and his wife received after he blogged his frustration over his son’s expulsion from day care. I like to think that those attacks provided motivation for Pollack to write this book.

There were only a occasional passages where I wondered if Pollack hadn’t stretched the truth for comedic value, but those doubts lasted only briefly as the ensuing narrative made those instances seem natural and convincing. After all, the overall message was not about the uniqueness of their child or parenting skills, but instead that all parents are simply doing the best they can in an effort to be responsible parents while maintaining some sense of who they are. Let’s see... their son was born in late 2002... so if the name Elijah Pollack is in the news in the next few years, we’ll have a much better idea as to how well his parents did. And if not, I’ll assume they did OK.

[Ciara · Rating 4 out of 5]

my hopes were not high because i have not historically been a fan of this dude's fiction, but this hefty memoir about becoming a father was really quite enjoyable! i read this right before i got pregnant & had a moment of blinding jealousy when he wrote about how he & his wife managed to get knocked up on their very first try. bastards! but i found out i was pregnant like two weeks later, so...i guess you guys are off the hook. this time.

sure, there were aspects of this book that grated a little bit, like all the stuff about how incredibly dangerous philadelphia is. i never like reading stuff like that about cities with large black populations, it just smacks of racism. although pollack & his family lived in philadelphia at the same time as a mugger who used a brick as a weapon was on the loose, so...it was also kind of annoying to read about how the family moved down to austin & struggled to find a house they could afford & then--quel surprise! their neighborhood is full of crackhouses. & they were just OUTRAGED because they have a CHILD! we can't have CRIME in a neighborhood where there is a CHILD! again, there was something about this that smacked of naive white person manufactured outrage or something. but the writing was entertaining, & really, i guess it's better than yet another mommy memoir about the importance of matching your diaper bag to your shoes, so...i don't know. i'll give it a pass. really, for all the goofy/twee/cringe-inducing moments in this book, i honestly enjoyed it. it does appear that pollack started hurting for material toward the end & chose to flesh things out with a lo-o-o-ong account of this one time when he wrote about parenting on the internet a bunch of people got pissed off & told him that he & his wife are terrible parents. although i have been guilty of committing this sin, i am the first to admit that discussing your internet flame wars is just really not that interesting, & while it might feel good in the moment to vent your spleen, you'll look back one day & ask yourself, "did i seriously publish a fucking book that contained an account of an internet flame war? i'm so embarrassed for myself."

[S · Rating 4 out of 5]

Being of an age wherein I possess the twin desires to be a carefree adult rolling in money and a vigorous pincher of baby cheeks, I thought this book would be something I could identify with. This man has decided he will have children while retaining his "cool" personhood. Naturally this is not as simple as he thinks. Which was, at first, upsetting. Then I remembered that I'm not that cool to begin with and I calmed down and enjoyed reading this neurotic man's journey into Responsible Adulthood, Fatherhood Level 2.

While the effort Pollack and his wife put into feeding, educating, and molding the aesthetic tastes of their youngster was exhausting, these were the actions of people with pre-conceived notions of what is good and healthy for a child. What made me squirm, of course, was that they were explicitly trying to avoid the norms of modern American child-rearing at the same time. It all comes out as a wash in the end and they end up like every parent since the dawn of time: They Do The Best They Can. For an underachiever such as myself, this is comforting.

Bonus points! While reading the chapter on the delivery of the baby, my womb actually, physically, ached. Truly, a gut-wrenching account and a lesson on trying to plan things in an uncertain world.

[Elyssa · Rating 4 out of 5]

A humorous memoir of a new father. The author is a somewhat successful aspiring writer who is married to an artist who is "allergic to making money" (his quote). Together they navigate their most terrifying challenge--parenting.

This is a good road map for fathers and mothers who want to challenge the old parenting stereotypes, primarily by sharing the task of parenting rather than following prescribed gender roles.

The author describes his son's development and his own development as a parent. There are hilarious stories and vignettes, the main one being his son's long biting phase as a toddler, leading to his expulsion from pre-school.

I just wish that we could put an end to parents who write about how cool they are because their toddler asks to listen to The Ramones. It seems that every "hip" parent shares this same anecdote as though this is a guaranteed signifier of alt-parenting status. It's turned into a precious cliche and it's one of too many in this book.

Overall, though, I enjoyed the book and picked up more parenting tips than I ever did from the "What to Expect" series.

[Carrie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Neal Pollack can be hilarious, but also seems like a dick. His insights on parenthood are nothing new. He's very honest--he relates the story of his first date with his now-wife, during which he's hungover, excuses himself to barf, then ends up making out with her. So, there you go--at least he's warts and all.

[Gato Negro · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book about two parents trying to raise their child in such a way that he eschews Barney and asks for the Ramones when they have music hour. Most chapters are cute, while others are slow-going...could have done without the parts about the author's sucky rock band and the vaporizer he bought to make his weed last longer...but overall a good read.

[Naomi · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think about this book when I look over at my neighbor on his balcony smoking pot from a vaporizer.

[Amanda · Rating 2 out of 5]

There were occasional funny lines, but my overwhelming takeaway from this book is how glad I am to not be having a baby with the author.

[Connor · Rating 4 out of 5]

Neal Pollack's Alternadad offers a fantastic perspective into what life as an adult and as a new father is. The book indulges the reader on a recap of Neal's life from when he was living with several different roommates in Chicago, to getting married and moving to Philadelphia with his wife, to later moving to Austin Texas and having his first son. With this he offers insight on what he could dub "rich American culture" and how this culture affected many of the decisions he made, both as an adult and later on as a father. Along the way he discuses many of the challenges he faced as he transitioned from the freedoms of adulthood into the responsibilities that come with being a father and raising a child. -

The book itself is very well written and is in my opinion very entertaining. Neal is a creative writer who includes a lot of satirical humor as well as analytical humor within his writing. He does a very good job of providing enough explanation to a situation while still keeping it concise, entertaining, and engaging. While the book could be considered to have some challenging word choices to some, the general quality of the writing is very easy to understand. Given the books topic, it does contain a lot of mature material within it. However this is one of the reasons why I believe this book is very good. Pollack doesn't dance around topics or try to cover or hide anything. He gives you his story straight and in full, if not with a bit of humor attached.

This book is considerably unique due to its ties with the perspective that Pollack attaches to his writing. Pollack shares his journey on becoming a "cool" dad through a lot of pop culture and literary antics. He takes particular value in the exposure his son gets at an early age to various types of rock music as well as to the culture of the area his son grows up in. This all occurs as he deals with challenges of getting healthcare, a good school, an environment in which his son can learn important life skills, and balancing a diet of all natural foods and cultural exposures.

Neal Pollack did a great job when writing his book but it wasn't completely without its faults. While the majority of the book is engaging and insightful, the last two or three chapters do seem to drag on just a little bit. In addition, the book is written in a time where Neal is still learning and growing as a father so there isn't a complete conclusion to the book, but rather a end to that particular section to his life. Despite this, Pollack is still a very entertaining and insightful writer and this book kept me consistently wanting more. I would highly recommend it to anyone interested in this particular topic.

[JoMerino · Rating 3 out of 5]

Alternadad by Neal Pollack is basically the story about a hipster dad that didn't want to leave his hipster-self behind just because he is a new father.

I liked Pollack's writing style, the language he used was easy to follow and he was very honest when he talked about his relationship with pot, his stories, and when he talked about other people. But, it did take me an unusually long time to finish it, and I'm a fast reader. I had a hard time connecting with the story and I thought it moved too slow. It never hooked me or made me excited to keep reading.

I didn't like his style of parenting, I was often annoyed by his and Regina's decisions and their behavior. Neal seemed a bit irresponsible and more focused to be "hip" than a good father to his son, but, he did take some complicated decisions that could compromise his status of a cool parent, in order to take care of his son Elijah.

I thought some of the stories were funny and adorable, some were emotional, and some were simply boring, but that could be because I'm young and don't have any kids, therefore I couldn't relate to them.

So, I would recommend this book to parents because they might relate to Neal's stories, and would enjoy it more than I did.

[Carol Rizzardi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Written with great humor and honesty, Alternadad is the story of a free-spirited freelance journalist and his artist wife as they navigate the waters of parenthood. I enjoyed it.

[Chris Ingalls · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've been wanting to read this book for a long time, and I finally did it earlier this month. I wanted to love it, and...well, I liked parts of it very much. Other parts were frustrating.

Neal Pollack is a thirty-something writer obsessed with rock and roll and pop culture. He and his wife Regina decide to have a baby. Can I call them aging hipsters? I hate the term, but I think it applies here. They want to have a child but still be cool, and have a cool kid as well. Expose him to the Ramones, not Raffi.

It's a great idea for a parenting memoir, and for the most part, it works. I found myself cracking up on a regular basis through Neal's trials and tribulations. He makes mundane subjects like diaper changing and choosing the best daycare funny and engaging.

But a lot of the time, I found myself reading a lot of ridiculous whining and complaining about things parents shouldn't really whine and complain about. "Boo hoo, I can't sleep in until 10 AM anymore!" "Boo hoo, I can't get high in front of my kid!" "Boo hoo, I can't go to midnight rock shows!" News flash, Neal: if you're not willing to sacrifice that lifestyle to some extent, you really shouldn't be a parent. I also found myself getting tired of his hipster superiority complex whenever he ran into a situation around bubbly, cheerful parents, teachers and caregivers. Yes, we get it, Neal. All of these people are dorks and you're the coolest dude in the room.

But I found a great deal of this book surprisingly touching. I loved reading about Neal and Regina's search for the best and most nutritious food for their son, Elijah; Neal's involvement in keeping his neighborhood safe; his hilarious tales from the road with his band, the Neal Pollack Invasion; and so on. It's a great read if you can get past the unwarranted complaining from someone who needs to accept the fact that he's not 21 years old anymore.

I support independent bookstores. You can use this link to find one near you or order ALTERNADAD on IndieBound: http://www.indiebound.org/book/978140...

[Derek · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Alternadad" started out strong, with Neal Pollack describing his anxiety over transforming from pseudo-gritty artiste to guy who writes to feed his family. Gross oversimplification? Yes. However, the book is at its most interesting when dealing with the anxieties of Neal and his wife prior to the birth of their son. After Elijah is born, if unfortunately devolves into yet another compliation of semi-funny stories about someone else's kid. No matter how interesting that person may be, stories about someone else's kid wear thin after a time, especially when they largely consist of multiple pages of vertbatim transcripts of the conversations between a two-year-old and his father. Still, it is light-years ahead of the billion-or-so female variations of this book which have been foisted upon my wife, all of which seem to have the word "girlfriend" in the far-too-hilarous title and a splash on the cover like "what your doctor wouldn't tell you . . .Girlfriend! Yay!" Really? If your doctor isn't telling you, maybe you should get a new doctor instead of relying on some book with a snarky title. Also, I'm sick of people telling me that "your life is going to change!" Yeah, no fucking kidding. Sorry, that was just a gripe on my part. Anyhow, overall, pretty good. Neal Pollack is a wannabe hipster smart-ass, so those of you who fashion yourselfs as such ought to enjoy it.

[Andy · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fast read, my wife and I took turns reading it while the other was doing something with our 5-month-old. We enjoyed it for some of the eerie parallels to our own lives (Regina's playing Morrowind and my wife's own obsession with The Elder Scrolls series, the birth plan which was almost word-for-word identical to ours, my own concern about music and children), and it's laugh-out-loud funny to boot. A good examination of how members of Gen-X and later who end up delaying childbirth cope with the change in lifestyle. Pollack doesn't pull any punches about his own parenting style, which is admittedly clueless and stupid at times - something to keep in mind when reading negative reviews about his parenting from other goodreads users. How many of them would have the guts to put out their own first-time parenting experiences for all the world to see, with all their failures and foibles exposed for critical examination? I definitely disagree with one reviewer's characterization of Pollack as "cowardly" - he could have left out or whitewashed his low points in fatherhood, but instead focused on them, something that perhaps those with a tendency for self-indignation may have problems understanding.

[Douglas Lord · Rating 2 out of 5]

Though eminently readable, Pollack's (The Neal Pollack Anthology of American Literature) memoir is mainly made up of too-cool thoughts on his life and impending and actual fatherhood. Many observationse.g., Pollack equates caring for an infant to "taking care of a plant. You feed it, water it, and change its soil"are simultaneously funny, pithy, and somewhat crass. Yet the same spirited satire that makes his blog The Maelstrom such lowbrow-for-highbrows fun work against him here. Chapters include superficial takes on typical dad stuff like agonizing over his newborn's circumcision, neighbor relations, and taking his son to gymnastics. Though Pollack proves himself an observant, witty, and smart (but not 'alternative,' unless the title intends irony), humorist and father, not every book needs to be written just because one is a good writer. Many other memoirs, like Roger Friedman's Nipple Confusion, Uncoordinated Pooping and Spittle: The Life of a Newborn's Father (iUniverse, 2005) throw in some advice; for true how-to be sure to stock expectant dad guru Armin Brott's work. Despite its charm, this is an optional purchase.
Copyright Library Journal.

[miteypen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't hate this book. When I gave it two stars, I meant that it wasn't a waste of time, but it's not exactly a book that's going to stay with me. There were no new insights into parenting (but then again, is there really anything new about parenting?). I couldn't relate to some of the author's "antics" but then I'm not him or his wife. I do think that the book had the potential to be funnier than it was. Too bad Pollack didn't play up the humorous side a little more. Then I think it would have been quite enjoyable.

Unlike some readers, I didn't judge him or his wife for their parenting style. There is no one way to raise a kid and too often people are made to feel guilty because they're not doing it the "right" way. So I did admire and appreciate Pollack's honesty. It's obvious that he and his wife love their little guy and like being parents and that they're doing the best they know how.

I did think the whole episode about their son's circumcision was interesting, especially since Pollack's Jewish but he and his wife didn't particularly want to have it done. Just goes to show you that your parents can still push the guilt buttons even when you're a parent, too.