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First published November 3, 2010
too much love is never a good thing.I have never been on such a roller coaster of a ride. My god. I think I left my heart in Sky.
I suppose someday my own name will be better known, but until then, I find it irritating when others treat me and my predecessor as interchangeable.Itempas and Nahadoth). Nahadoth gives them a deadline to find out who is murdering his children. The Order of Itempas, a discount gestapo that is more hubris than valour and more vibes than investigation decide to target Oree and Madding.
You may think me a coward. You'll remember that I fled when Shiny told me to, instead of staying to fight at his side. You will remember that throughout this final horror, I was useless, helpless, too terrified to be any good to anyone, including myself. It may be that by telling you this, I have earned your contempt.And she did. Not because I didn't understand that abject, choking fear. But because I am living it. But in books, they're supposed to fight. In books, they're supposed to be strong. They're not supposed to be us. Cowardly, snivelling us who would rather crawl in a hole and sleep and be woken when the world is better. For some of us, tedium and familiarity feel worse than risking your life. In books, they're supposed to inspire us. Not mirror us. Not remind us of the ugliest parts of ourselves. Those who choose to do nothing in the spirit of self-preservation. Who choose not to love to avoid heartbreak. Who choose cruelty to avoid disappointment.
I regret some of what's happened to me. But not all of it.Once more, this book held my hand.
"Regret is never meaningless," I said, "It's not enough, not on its own; you have to change, too. But it's a start.Ugh seriously, Nora Keita Jemisin, were you in my mind circa 2022 when you wrote this?
I could smell the heavy, soporific incense of the Darkwalkers—worshippers of the Shadow Lord. There weren’t many of them, though; they tended not to be morning people.This book extrapolates loneliness. Far better than any book I've encountered. Loneliness can drive people and gods to do mad mad things. This is a book about redemption, about payment, about reparations, about heresy, about adjusting to a new world order. It is a love story. It is a tragedy. It is a Shakespearean comedy. It is a story. One that set me whole. One that left me broken.