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How to Write Sexy Descriptions and Sex Scenes
Sometimes a writer needs the right word – fast – to keep the momentum racing along while he or she builds up that total word count. When writing sexy descriptions and sex scenes, you may need words such as ache, aching, arch, bare, bared, battle, beg, bite, blush, bounce, brace himself or brace herself, breach, bruise, bruising, brush, buck, bump, burn, burning, captivate, capture, caress, catch, circle, clasp, clench, clenching, coax, cry out, cup, curse, curve, cushion, dampen, dart, darting, deepen, delve, dominate, and so forth.
Here, you get lists of words and ways to use them. Part One gives writing advice. Part Two shows you how to write sexy descriptions about the human body from head to toe. Part Three discusses male-male romance fiction, and Part Four details the common elements of a sex scene, including sexual tension, flirting, arousal, sexy noises, initial touching, kissing, embracing, intimate caresses, disrobing, masturbation, foreplay, penetration, the sex act, orgasm, and afterglow.
This book is written specifically for writers of erotic romance fiction, which includes male-female romance and male-male romance. Erotic romance fiction gives equal emphasis to sex and emotion within the romantic relationship. However, those who write erotica (more focus on sex) and those who write sweet romance (more focus on emotion) can adapt the information here. Others for whom this book may be useful include anyone who wants to write a sex scene for genre or mainstream fiction.
Before I start giving advice, I should make one thing clear. All this is information for you to evaluate for yourself and accept or dismiss. The only "ironclad rules" in writing fiction are the laws of physics and the principles of grammar, and even those can be bent. The most important thing is to write what the readers want to read. Throughout this book, I warn you about things that could break the spell of escapism and jolt the readers out of your story. However, you can write anything you want so long as you are aware of the risks you run. It's all up to you.
(This e-book contains sexually explicit scenes and language and may be considered offensive to some readers. This book is for sale to adults only, as defined by the laws of the country in which you made your purchase. Please store your files wisely, where they cannot be accessed by under-aged readers.)
Published with DRM technology, this book is read-only (no copying), and is 30,000 words. Thank you for reading!
Here, you get lists of words and ways to use them. Part One gives writing advice. Part Two shows you how to write sexy descriptions about the human body from head to toe. Part Three discusses male-male romance fiction, and Part Four details the common elements of a sex scene, including sexual tension, flirting, arousal, sexy noises, initial touching, kissing, embracing, intimate caresses, disrobing, masturbation, foreplay, penetration, the sex act, orgasm, and afterglow.
This book is written specifically for writers of erotic romance fiction, which includes male-female romance and male-male romance. Erotic romance fiction gives equal emphasis to sex and emotion within the romantic relationship. However, those who write erotica (more focus on sex) and those who write sweet romance (more focus on emotion) can adapt the information here. Others for whom this book may be useful include anyone who wants to write a sex scene for genre or mainstream fiction.
Before I start giving advice, I should make one thing clear. All this is information for you to evaluate for yourself and accept or dismiss. The only "ironclad rules" in writing fiction are the laws of physics and the principles of grammar, and even those can be bent. The most important thing is to write what the readers want to read. Throughout this book, I warn you about things that could break the spell of escapism and jolt the readers out of your story. However, you can write anything you want so long as you are aware of the risks you run. It's all up to you.
(This e-book contains sexually explicit scenes and language and may be considered offensive to some readers. This book is for sale to adults only, as defined by the laws of the country in which you made your purchase. Please store your files wisely, where they cannot be accessed by under-aged readers.)
Published with DRM technology, this book is read-only (no copying), and is 30,000 words. Thank you for reading!
122 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 31, 2011
71 people are currently reading
92 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
March 12, 2014
I have a marked aversion to “How To” books when it comes to writing. My personal experience has been less than satisfactory with a large portion of these so-called ‘guides’. Such books actually have the opposite effect. In some instances they inhibited my creativity because I was either too busy following the directions closely or agonizing if I thought I wasn’t doing it right. It also didn't help when books featured authors who were already huge successes spilling the same old advice that never seemed to speak to the genre I was writing on or to the realities of writer's block. Many of the books I’ve bought have ended up as dust-catching doorstops where they serve a better purpose.
Thankfully, M/M romance author Val Kovalin manages not to fall into either category with How to Write Sexy Descriptions and Sex Scenes. Writing sex scenes is hard. I know. Writing good sex scenes which engage more than one of the senses is even harder. Even for those whose bread and butter is primarily erotic fiction, keeping those scenes from becoming the standard “Insert Tab A into Slot B, C or D” takes practice and knowing when less is actually more. Kovalin’s easy-to-navigate guide gives tips and tricks to make the process a little less daunting with practical and down-to-earth advice. This is a book meant to be used in a practical sense. It's a great resource to have, especially the appendix filled to bursting with words and phrases that will definitely come in handy. Turn to this rather than a thesaurus when you need to make something throb, swell, pucker or ache (in a good way).
There were only definite personal FAIL sections which had me gritting my teeth, such as her definition of a Beta Male: He is a more ordinary man, not as strong or as aggressive as the Alpha Hero. Worse, she goes on to equate the Beta with being slighter and/or more effeminate. WRONG!
The well-written Beta Male (i.e. Diana Gabaldon’s Jamie Fraser instantly comes to mind) can be just as powerful and aggressive, but the difference is he’s not shoving his masculinity down the heroine’s throat (yes, I know what that sounds like). My personal definition of the Beta Male is one who can whip ass then whip up a crème brulee. He's a strong man who loves a strong woman. It’s really sad that there is such a prejudice against Beta Males in Romancelandia. Part of the problem is that some authors don't have a clue how to write them without resorting to typical 'weaker' stereotypes. The other problem is hidebound readers who cannot envision a hero unless he's some hard-bodied, huge-cocked, brooding, monosyllabic man-slut. I have nothing against the alpha, but in a lot of books these days, he's less multi-dimensional and more of a caricature.
The other personal fail: Interracial sex introduces physical differences in skin color, body hair, and facial features.
Most interracial romance books nthankfully don’t spend a lot of time on the skin contrast thing. If a reader can’t tell from the cover—provided the publisher isn’t committing epic cover fail—that it’s an interracial book, or if they haven’t already been introduced to the characters in Chapter One, then it’s not an interracial romance. The best authors in this sub-genre aren’t spending time describing skin color, especially during a sex scene; they’re concentrating more on the emotions, on the feelings between the characters, which is what readers are more interested in. In the case of G.A. Hauser’s Live, Love, Last the male couple (black male/white male) brings up the subject during the getting ready to do the horizontal mambo scene, but it’s not about difference, but about experience. The white male character has never been with a black man and says so. Any book that delves too much into the “differences”, especially when we’re talking about sex, skirts dangerously close to stereotype. Bottom line, sex is sex and there are only so many orifices parts will fit in and we all have them.
Again, those were my personal quibbles with the guide, but as a tool for writing, I highly recommend it.
Thankfully, M/M romance author Val Kovalin manages not to fall into either category with How to Write Sexy Descriptions and Sex Scenes. Writing sex scenes is hard. I know. Writing good sex scenes which engage more than one of the senses is even harder. Even for those whose bread and butter is primarily erotic fiction, keeping those scenes from becoming the standard “Insert Tab A into Slot B, C or D” takes practice and knowing when less is actually more. Kovalin’s easy-to-navigate guide gives tips and tricks to make the process a little less daunting with practical and down-to-earth advice. This is a book meant to be used in a practical sense. It's a great resource to have, especially the appendix filled to bursting with words and phrases that will definitely come in handy. Turn to this rather than a thesaurus when you need to make something throb, swell, pucker or ache (in a good way).
There were only definite personal FAIL sections which had me gritting my teeth, such as her definition of a Beta Male: He is a more ordinary man, not as strong or as aggressive as the Alpha Hero. Worse, she goes on to equate the Beta with being slighter and/or more effeminate. WRONG!
The well-written Beta Male (i.e. Diana Gabaldon’s Jamie Fraser instantly comes to mind) can be just as powerful and aggressive, but the difference is he’s not shoving his masculinity down the heroine’s throat (yes, I know what that sounds like). My personal definition of the Beta Male is one who can whip ass then whip up a crème brulee. He's a strong man who loves a strong woman. It’s really sad that there is such a prejudice against Beta Males in Romancelandia. Part of the problem is that some authors don't have a clue how to write them without resorting to typical 'weaker' stereotypes. The other problem is hidebound readers who cannot envision a hero unless he's some hard-bodied, huge-cocked, brooding, monosyllabic man-slut. I have nothing against the alpha, but in a lot of books these days, he's less multi-dimensional and more of a caricature.
The other personal fail: Interracial sex introduces physical differences in skin color, body hair, and facial features.
Most interracial romance books nthankfully don’t spend a lot of time on the skin contrast thing. If a reader can’t tell from the cover—provided the publisher isn’t committing epic cover fail—that it’s an interracial book, or if they haven’t already been introduced to the characters in Chapter One, then it’s not an interracial romance. The best authors in this sub-genre aren’t spending time describing skin color, especially during a sex scene; they’re concentrating more on the emotions, on the feelings between the characters, which is what readers are more interested in. In the case of G.A. Hauser’s Live, Love, Last the male couple (black male/white male) brings up the subject during the getting ready to do the horizontal mambo scene, but it’s not about difference, but about experience. The white male character has never been with a black man and says so. Any book that delves too much into the “differences”, especially when we’re talking about sex, skirts dangerously close to stereotype. Bottom line, sex is sex and there are only so many orifices parts will fit in and we all have them.
Again, those were my personal quibbles with the guide, but as a tool for writing, I highly recommend it.
November 23, 2013
I can't tell that I learned a lot. This book reminded me a few things that could be easily forgotten, like not to be too repetitive or cliché and to use sparingly adjectives and adverbs. The author says that verbs as "feel" can be advantageously replaced by descriptions of what is felt and verbs as "turn on" and "arouse" can be replaced by other more metaphoric verb as "inflame" or "consummate".
For the description of feelings and emotions, if you can't remember how you felt when you met someone attractive for the first time or when you f*cked together for the first time, better not to write an erotic story. The book won't give you an experience you never got.
In fact, if you have a good dictionary of synonyms and a little imagination, you could do without this book. It's not a bad book. There is even a list of body parts and synonyms for them, e.g.
If you need this kind of tools, go for it. Otherwise, forget it.
For the description of feelings and emotions, if you can't remember how you felt when you met someone attractive for the first time or when you f*cked together for the first time, better not to write an erotic story. The book won't give you an experience you never got.
In fact, if you have a good dictionary of synonyms and a little imagination, you could do without this book. It's not a bad book. There is even a list of body parts and synonyms for them, e.g.
FEMALE PARTS - VAGINA: cleft, core, depths, entrance, heat, inside, opening, passage, sex, sheath, slit, tightness. Street terms: cunt, pussy. Comparisons: cave, cavern, flower, furnace, glove, inferno, sheath, vessel and volcano... For the labia: folds, nether lips, petals. Comparisons: flower.
If you need this kind of tools, go for it. Otherwise, forget it.
September 17, 2014
I am not a professional writer but I have begun playing around with fanfiction (yes it's fun so don't wrinkle your nose), and have finally got my act together to try my hand at an original m/m romance as well.
I'm far from squeamish when it comes to naming things by their proper names but it's no fun to repeat myself for lack of useful alternatives, and it's no fun reading such repetitions. And along comes this small book, a gift from above, and it offers possibilities and alternatives on all levels of language, from vanilla sweet to downright dirty. It reminds of you of things you might forget while struggling to write a love scene that is both hot and tasteful, or intense and electric. For example, I tended to forget to write about sounds and smells but trust Val Kovalin to remind me of their importance as well.
It's a great, useful book to have and I whole-heartedly recommend it to all aspiring romance writers. Just don't read it while stuck in public transport. Not because you'll get the giggles (I trust that anybody striving to better her or his writing is a grown up enough person to have some self-control, besides there's nothing to giggle about in that book) but because of the size of the headlines - unless you don't mind your neighbour or someone standing behind you (you know how they always try to figure out what you're reading) have the words PENETRATION or MASTURBATION yelled at them in big fonts. Maybe it's just me but I can do without funny stares ;-)
I'm far from squeamish when it comes to naming things by their proper names but it's no fun to repeat myself for lack of useful alternatives, and it's no fun reading such repetitions. And along comes this small book, a gift from above, and it offers possibilities and alternatives on all levels of language, from vanilla sweet to downright dirty. It reminds of you of things you might forget while struggling to write a love scene that is both hot and tasteful, or intense and electric. For example, I tended to forget to write about sounds and smells but trust Val Kovalin to remind me of their importance as well.
It's a great, useful book to have and I whole-heartedly recommend it to all aspiring romance writers. Just don't read it while stuck in public transport. Not because you'll get the giggles (I trust that anybody striving to better her or his writing is a grown up enough person to have some self-control, besides there's nothing to giggle about in that book) but because of the size of the headlines - unless you don't mind your neighbour or someone standing behind you (you know how they always try to figure out what you're reading) have the words PENETRATION or MASTURBATION yelled at them in big fonts. Maybe it's just me but I can do without funny stares ;-)
January 6, 2020
If you are new to writing steamy love scenes this book is a great resource to save your reader from second hand embarrassment! A lot of good tips on how to word things as well as good words to use or not use.
I've been writing steamy scenes for years, so there wasn't anything new to me. But as I said, it is great for anyone starting out.
I've been writing steamy scenes for years, so there wasn't anything new to me. But as I said, it is great for anyone starting out.
August 22, 2020
Let me start by saying I hate writing sex scenes. This book has given me more confidence. I recommend this book to every writer. It's well written and very helpful. Pick it up. It's worth your time and money.
December 14, 2019
Great Read
I like this book because it goes into detail about how to write a romance scene! I think that anyone interested in learning how to write, would enjoy this book!
I like this book because it goes into detail about how to write a romance scene! I think that anyone interested in learning how to write, would enjoy this book!
April 22, 2022
A Handy Resource
A handy book to have around. Gives a multitude of examples for everything you need to write a good sex scene.
A handy book to have around. Gives a multitude of examples for everything you need to write a good sex scene.
November 3, 2022
This is a great resource for erotic romance writers such as myself. I learned a lot by reading it and even got a little titillated in the process.
December 11, 2022
Very helpful
A great help when writing erotic fiction. Gave me new ideas for writing my stories and novels. I highly recommend 👌
A great help when writing erotic fiction. Gave me new ideas for writing my stories and novels. I highly recommend 👌
September 6, 2019
Excellent resource
Easy to read, to the point details about improving your sex scenes. This word list in the back makes a perfect future reference.
Easy to read, to the point details about improving your sex scenes. This word list in the back makes a perfect future reference.
February 19, 2017
Much more than a how-to; this book describes in detail the six stages of attraction, from simple awareness to actual sex. It also lists all the words used for various body parts and breaks them down by what sort of book you’re writing (standard lit, romance, or erotica). Useful for all people whose books contain some sort of romantic element.
February 21, 2017
Fantastic
What a fantastic reference book! I absolutely loved how the author described in great detail how to enhance scenes for both romance and erotica.
What a fantastic reference book! I absolutely loved how the author described in great detail how to enhance scenes for both romance and erotica.
October 12, 2012
As an editor of romance and erotic fiction, I've seen countless authors using the same phrases and words repeatedly to describe the act of making love. As an author, I understand the frustration of trying to find new ways to describe the same thing. Kovalin does an excellent job of providing a handy resource to combat this problem.
Additionally, the information contained in the book about the erotic industry--addressing both male/male and male/female relationships--is spot on and real. This is practical information for any author writing in this genre--new or experienced. I recommend it to many of my authors.
Additionally, the information contained in the book about the erotic industry--addressing both male/male and male/female relationships--is spot on and real. This is practical information for any author writing in this genre--new or experienced. I recommend it to many of my authors.
March 4, 2012
Great little book for anyone who can't think of enough words for 'thrust'!
Nice and clear and with lots of tips for making your sex scenes more um...sexy.
Also liked the fact that it applies just as much to M/M as M/F.
At 2 quid it's a bargain.
Nice and clear and with lots of tips for making your sex scenes more um...sexy.
Also liked the fact that it applies just as much to M/M as M/F.
At 2 quid it's a bargain.
August 28, 2016
Good advice for beginners as well as writers who have written a few love scenes.
September 11, 2012
Again this gives us basics and largely focused on M/M. I wasn't impressed by anything in here. Then again, I'm not a beginning writer.
July 13, 2013
Excellent little "how to" book. A must read for all who incorporate sex scenes in their writing. Good job, Val!
October 19, 2015
Sooo helpful
Loved the appendix of words. Such a helpful way to construct scenes and words. Very useful advice and suggestions to use.
Loved the appendix of words. Such a helpful way to construct scenes and words. Very useful advice and suggestions to use.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews