Beat down, bruised and broken, at times the pain of injustice or failure can leave even the strongest dreamer without hope. As human beings, our struggles come in all sizes and shapes. Some fight for system reform, others for innovation, we fight for relationships that matter, we fight to succeed, and we all fight to become the best version of ourselves. However, in the most hopeless moments of life, how is it that some are able to pick up the broken pieces and pursue their dreams once again, while others wither and fade?
Last year in Tuskegee Alabama, I had the privilege of spending the day with esteemed Civil Rights Attorney, Fred Gray. While my personal "struggles" in life pale in comparison to Jim Crow's denial of civil liberties, I learned much from Fred's battle with the ugly plight of civil injustice.
At the Tuskegee Museum for Human and Civil Rights, Fred walked through the annals of his life-long fight to end all things segregated. One clear character lesson emerged for me; the ability to manage the powerful tension between patience and persistence through setbacks, failures and crushing defeat.
Fred Gray began his legal career as a 24-year-old with a deep passion and urgency to battle injustice. Over the next few decades, he would do battle with Governor George Wallace, the State of Alabama, and various legal jurisdictions from the local courthouse and all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court. As a firsthand student of the struggle (and leader for those that would follow), Fred would later write Bus Ride to Justice, which chronicles his journey defending and representing Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr., the Montgomery Bus Boycott and the 1965 Selma March, which resulted in many landmark legal cases for the advancement of basic civil rights.
Fred and other key civil rights leaders dismantled segregation “with all deliberate speed” within a legal system that resisted the change in every instance. His hope and vision met roadblock after roadblock, opposed by attorneys, judges, legislators, politicians, the status quo and the voting public. Yet, the cause demanded immediate action where every day without change added to the mounting injustice. The desegregation battle would take decades, but this fight was worthy of perseverance.
The Takeaway: We are refined by resistance. Our dreams are tested by trials, and our causes are shaped by opposition. What amazed me in my discussion with Fred was how much respect and gratitude he held for the legal system and those who opposed him for all of those years. In the end, some were converted to his cause, but in his estimation, the path to reform and change is always through moving hearts and minds. The court rulings and legislation would soon follow. Playing to win in the end, often takes time and steadfast focus on the longterm goal at hand.
How do we handle overwhelming struggle and disappointment? How do we maintain our authentic ambition through setback, conflict, or resistance? When I asked Fred, his answer was simple; one day at a time. When our vision is worth fighting for, when the change we seek is urgent, when our dreams beg to be fulfilled today, sometimes (more often than we’d like) the answer resides in patient persistence.
As I face interpersonal struggles, professional battles, or personal dreams that seem to be taking an indirect route, I admire those like Fred Gray who struggled mightily and won. I cherish their courage and insight. Even in my light and momentary setbacks, I too can appreciate the forces refining me, and carry on with patient persistence.
What conflicts threaten to derail your dreams? How are you being refined by resistance? I for one, am learning to embrace struggle. It may take a while, but sometimes the patient journey is the victory.