Adopted Reality

by Laura Dennis

In a September 11 memoir unlike any you’ve read, this thrilling, psychological adventure follows the ups and downs of bipolar, and examines relationships biological and adopted.

Laura had always been Miss Perfect—but she just couldn’t do it anymore.

They say not to make more than one big change in your life at a time, but with a break up, a job change, a move across the country, and the separation of her adoptive parents, when Laura gets the opportunity to reunite with her birth mom—she is not passing it up!

Then a beloved uncle dies in the Twin Towers and the tension that has been building explodes. While everyone proudly believes she’s fulfilling her dream to dance, Laura insanely thinks she’s a spy for the Illuminati who unwittingly perpetrated 9/11.
Will she learn to exist between the highs and lows, ultimately discovering her own Adopted Reality?

Genres: Adoption

205 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 5, 2012

About the author

Laura Dennis was born in New Jersey and raised in Maryland, but she learned how to be a (sane) person in California, where she lost her mind and found it again in 2001. A professionally trained dancer, Laura gave up aches and pains and bloody feet in 2004 to become a stylish, sales director for a biotech startup. Then with two children under the age of three, in 2010 she and her husband sought to simplify their lifestyle and escaped to his hometown, Belgrade. While the children learned Serbian in their cozy preschool, Laura recovered from sleep deprivation and wrote Adopted Reality.

Reviews

[Grace Peterson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Laura Dennis is one of the names I'm familiar with from the world of Internet memoir writing forums. She's very smart, with movie star good looks and she's an American expatriate, living in Bosnia with her husband and family. I can't remember where I won her book but several months ago my name was picked from a random drawing. Lucky me!

Laura's memoir, Adopted Reality is a page-turner. The story begins with a tornado of events that sound as if they're right out of a spy novel. But this is real--a perfect storm that was seeded decades earlier when Laura was adopted into a family with strong Catholic convictions. With a verbally abusive father and the church fueling her burgeoning fears, Laura strives for perfection and acceptance, unwittingly alienating her peers and feeding her self-doubts about belonging. Eventually she is drawn into the world of dance with all of its physical and mental demands--perfect for her high-energy and drive towards perfectionism.

There is no disputing that society still has a problem with mental illness. Regardless of where the stigma originates, it's fueled by ignorance and intolerance. Better information is the way to change that. When the events of a person's life are laid out as succinctly and dramatically as they are in Adopted Reality, it becomes understandable how an otherwise normal person could succumb to a mental breakdown. This is the take-home message of this absorbing memoir.

Stories like Laura's need to be told. If for no other reason, so the rest of us can develop more compassion and understanding for the hurting among us. Put this one on your "to read" list!

[Laura Dennis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I hope this is an exciting and informative book for anyone who has ever struggled with mental illness, personally or trying to help a friend or family member. Adoption touches 6 in 10 people - either directly, or indirectly - the aunt of an adopted child, the biological cousin of a child that was given away.

I'd love to hear what you think!

Laura

author, Adopted Reality available on Amazon.com and Smashwords.com for $5.99
visit me at www.adoptedrealitymemoir.com

[Ionia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have never read a book quite like this one before. To be completely honest, when I began reading this book (my fault for never reading the descriptions) I was a bit lost. I kind of felt like I fell into the middle of a Dan Brown novel and I had to check to make sure that A.) I was reading the right book, and B.) it actually said "memoir" on the cover. I was and it did.

Once I got my legs underneath me, this book was heartfelt, honest and an amazing read. If you have been adopted, have bi-polar disorder, or even if you haven't and you just want a realistic perspective on either of those situations, you should pick up a copy of this book. Laura writes from a place that most of us endeavor to reach , but many of us never do. She is open, throws caution to the wind and tells her riveting tale in a way that holds the attention of the reader like a vice grip. The portions of the book dedicated to the events of September 11th have never (to my knowledge) been dealt with the way Laura has in this memoir. To imagine the guilt, struggle and feelings of hopelessness and eventual recovery and acceptance she has been through breaks your heart, but also gives you a totally new perspective on life in general and the differences among us.

The way this book unfolds, revealing more information a little at a time to the reader until you truly feel that you have lived a day in the author's life, made me stop and think about my own life. Where I thought I knew a thing or two about bi-polar before reading this, my eyes have been irreversibly opened to sides of the disorder that I never knew existed. I had not realised before reading this book that delusions were a part of bi-polar at all.

Overall, this was a fascinating, at times sad, at times funny and completely honest book that is definitely worth a read. Laura has overcome so much, and I am so happy that she has taken the time to share her innermost thoughts and feelings with us through "Adopted Reality." She has also included links for those who are surviving their own journey through similar issues, where they can find support and further information. I congratulate the author for her bravery and desire to persevere.

[Monica Lee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Author Laura Dennis’ memoir “Adopted Reality” tells the story of how expectations of personal perfection inevitably lead to sorrow and failure.

It’s a universal story of our flawed humanness which ultimately gives hope to all us who are imperfect.

For Dennis, her sense of self-worth and her desire to maintain unreasonably high standards arise from her feelings about being adopted. More than a story of adoption, however, this is a story of bipolar disorder. Dennis describes in painful and surprising detail how her mind unraveled as she descended into a manic episode involving hallucinations about being a bionic spy who caused 9/11 and a death-defying escape from a mental hospital.

Part of Dennis’ trip to “crazy town” (her words, not mine) involved her obsession with her dance career and the typical dancer’s compulsion to be thinner. Any woman who has ever felt too fat will be able to relate.
Dennis does an admirable job of describing her adoption experience by giving credit where credit is due without glossing over the pain she felt about being given away. Her birth mother’s and birth grandfather’s words about their love for her, even in her absence during her childhood, are heartbreaking, and I was so happy to read how both her mothers supported her through her mental illness.

Dennis’ writing style and description are straight-forward with some wonderful metaphors, but sometimes I felt like she glossed over important details, especially near the end of her story. After her manic episode and diagnosis of bipolar disorder, she announces she quit her medications cold turkey and a chapter later, the story is done. Sanity can’t be that simple. Dennis is otherwise a good storyteller, and I liked the character Dennis created enough to want to hear more of her story. She leaves you wanting more.

Anyone who is adopted, a dancer or bipolar and anyone who knows and loves such a person will appreciate “Adopted Reality: A Memoir” for its honesty, drama and ultimately the peace Dennis finds with her adopted reality.

[Sherrey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Laura Dennis's Adopted Reality, A Memoir opens with riveting and tense words:

"I've successfully infiltrated the Illuminati's West Coast cell. I suspect they're onto me."

Although the reader senses in these words a psychological thriller, Adopted Reality is so much more. Dennis writes with authenticity the raw truth of her many-sided life. Always searching for love as affirmation of her worth, she tells a story of personal perfectionism destroying happiness, how our flawed humanness is a natural part of each of us. Unwittingly, through this drive for perfectionism, Dennis alienates friends and acquaintances leaving her feeling all alone.

The author effectively shares three life episodes in Adopted Reality: her adoption, meeting her birth mother, and experiencing a bipolar episode after the events of September 11th. Using flashbacks and smoothly crafted transitions in her writing, she pulls the reader into her story as if reading a novel and not a memoir. This book is a page-turner not to be missed.

Reading Adopted Reality opened my eyes to two issues our society often fails to take note of. First, the dualistic life of adoptees. Searching for answers to family history and background, tracing medical histories, hoping to find and meet birth parents, and the constant hope for a life of love and happiness while balancing unanswered questions and mysteries about who you really are is enough to create the environment for mental breakdown.

Second, the author shares her experiences with an episode of bipolar disorder. Stories like hers need to be told because unfortunately, despite advancements in medical science in many areas, very little has been done to provide better care for our citizens suffering from any one of a variety of mental illnesses. And these stories bring a greater awareness to our society of the needs in this area.

Not only does the author tell us her story, she provides a guidepost for others writing in the memoir genre. It is a pure example of the characteristics of a finely written memoir.

[Kathleen Pooler · Rating 5 out of 5]

With raw honesty and thoughtful reflection, Laura Dennis crafts a stunning psychological thriller in her true-life memoir, Adopted Reality. She weaves in three major life events- adoption, reunion with her birth mother and a bipolar episode following the 9/11 terror attacks where her beloved Uncle Tom died in the Twin Towers and she believes she was responsible for his death. I was hooked from the first sentence,” I’ve successfully infiltrated the Illuminati’s West Coast Cell.” It reads like a novel as she takes the reader along her adventuresome and suspenseful descent into madness and subsequent hospitalization and treatment. Parallel to this episode, she skillfully goes back and forth between her current and past life with her adoptive family, her biological family’s history and the subsequent reunion with her birth mother, Kathy. She writes of both families with compassion and love. Due to her brutal self-honesty and willingness to share her inner feelings, I was drawn into her story and by the end felt I had gained a greater appreciation for bipolar illness, adoption issues and the impact the 9/11 had, especially on someone who had suffered a personal loss on that day. The author makes an unbelievable story believable and authentic. Beyond being a riveting story, this memoir will give hope and inspiration to anyone who has faced any one of these painful life circumstances. It provides a clear view of all these issues- a window into the world of mental illness, adoption issues and post-traumatic stress syndrome as experienced by anyone who has suffered a personal loss from 9/11. I also think it should be required reading for anyone working in the mental health field. It is a brave and honest story of survival in the face of many odds. I commend the author for getting her story out there in such an engaging and riveting way.

[Sylvia Morice · Rating 5 out of 5]

My Review: The first paragraph of Laura Dennis’ memoir, Adopted Reality, begins with the words: “ I've successfully infiltrated the Illuminati’s West Coast cell. I suspect they’re onto me”, which immediately drew me into her world and made me want to read the rest of her book.

Laura crafted her compelling story of being adopted, wanting to reunite with her birth mother and facing the possibility of mental illness to read as smoothly as if it was a novel’s story line she was chronicling. She is adept at guiding the reader between past and present, between reality and insanity, and between a girl/young woman striving to live up to being ‘the perfect child’ and an adult desperately searching for the real person hiding underneath all the layers of perfection she had presented to the world.

Reading ‘Adopted Reality’ made me stop and consider my life as a child in a family that, while far from perfect, still managed to give me a sense of completeness and security as I was growing up. Laura didn't experience that; she grew up with feelings of loss and sadness that she couldn't put a name to, and it was only as an adult that she was able to identify the many forces behind her feelings.

I wished that the book hadn't finished as quickly as it did because I felt that I needed to know more about the progress the author made in her journey of self-awareness and adapting to the reality that she had to face, but I did enjoy reading what Laura chose to share with us at this time. In the future, perhaps there will be a sequel to this book–if there is, I definitely want to read it.

Be sure to read my other reviews at: http://www.indiepicks.wordpress.com

[Corie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Laura Dennis is a blogger and a good one. (Note to you: Follow a good blogger and in a lot of cases, ultimately, you will find a good book. That's how I found ADOPTED REALITY.) This memoir is a stand-out in the genre sometimes referred to as, "adoption lit". I read it (the whole thing) in one sitting on a cross country flight Christmas Day.

It is a painfully accurate report of an adolescent striving for perfection to the point of madness. In it Dennis reveals herself to be both brilliant and talented with a detachment to those qualities that is striking (and also common to likewise gifted adoptees). In this case, the author reports superlative abilities as the simple facts of her life, just as being adopted was. I can only imagine how powerful her story might be to other, coming of age adoptees. It's a story that includes rare deep personal disclosure on almost every page and at a level of risk (of exposure) that chronicles great memoir. (As a therapist, I worried for her every step of the way. I might have counseled her that she was revealing too much. As a reader, I was mesmerized by her forthright honesty, especially in regard to her feelings about her family members, and in the end I felt privileged to know her story.)

I hope Laura Dennis updates this memoir. She's a terrific young writer. In the meantime, there's always her blogging.Adopted Reality

[Gayle Swift · Rating 5 out of 5]

Adopted Reality provides a mesmerizing view of the cost of family secrets, especially the secrets of a closed adoption. In the absence of the real facts, like many adoptees, Laura invented an endless array of scenarios. The often-repeated parental reassurance that her birth mother had loved her enough to relinquish her, became the fuel that drove perfectionism, self-doubt, and fear of rejection. The author pushed herself to the point where reality and mental health fractured.
With heartbreaking honesty, Laura Dennis reveals how she chased a sense of worthiness, and the reassurance that she’d become good enough, thin enough, accomplished enough, that never again would those who loved her give her away. The demons of perfectionism, guilt, and shame were relentless, especially when paired with the psychic hit that her adoption created. When a dysfunctional family dynamic was added to the mix and coupled with major life changes the stressors combined. With the power of a tsunami, her fragile hold on reality is crushed.
She is left with an emotional debris field to reconfigure into a functioning and psychically healthy adult. I highly recommend this book for members of the adoption triad and for anyone that is interested in the human spirit’s ability to rise from the ashes.
--Gayle H. Swift, author of "ABC, Adoption & Me," adoption coach, adoptive parent

[Rhonda Rae Baker · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a beautifully written memoir about what happens in an adoptee's life when reality and fantasy collide. Laura does a great job painting the picture of emotional torments gone crazy. Dissociation is paramount to what I experienced as an adoptee. I was also a dancer who drove myself to perfection until my life fell apart. It is easy for me to understand her fear and dillusions because they are very real.

If you know an adoptee, are adopted, or are an adoptive parent, please read this. By sharing our parallel stories, more can understand what it's like and reach out to help in the healing process. Adoptee's experience primal wounds that will continue to destroy until the truth can be known, accepted, and addressed.

Thank you Laura for writing so candidly about your experience. I am with you all the way...I've been there and know first-hand what it takes to heal from the inside out. Bless you...(-:

[Belinda Nicoll · Rating 4 out of 5]

Adopted Reality has been described as a psychological thriller because of the narrator’s psychotic episode believing she was responsible for the 9/11 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and, thus, had caused her uncle Tom’s death. But this memoir is really about the capricious values and beliefs that underpin an adoptee’s fragile sense of self. When her need to know her true identity brings about a desire to be the perfect daughter, self-destructive behavior starts emerging. The dramatic prologue highlights the author’s delusions about the Illuminati and while some readers might consider the notion preposterous, I find it totally believable that the author’s mind crumbles under her self-inflicted stress—my favorite line in the book: “You know you have problems when your therapist is overwhelmed by your life.” Dennis deserves applause for the sincerity with which she explores the far-reaching impact of adoption and mental illness.

[Kirsty (BookBlogger) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was given a free copy of this book in return for my honest review.

As this is a memoir, I actually found it difficult to read. This wasn't because it was written badly, just because the story was almost painful.

I did, however, find it difficult to form an attachment with Laura. Having not found myself in any of the situations she has been in (i.e I am not adopted, never been anorexic, etc..).

When I first started reading it, I was confused. I struggled to see how this was a memoir at first. By the ending it was nice to know that there were no 'loose ends'.

As a first memoir, I thought that was excellent, and well written, and I will definitely be recommending it to people I know.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Laura Dennis paints a wild abstract picture of what it feels like to be spun into the wild confusion of a life riddled with bipolar disorder. Laura allows the reader to join her in her numerous, difficult obstacles she is forced to face all at once. These obstacles lead to the inevitable experience of a severe manic episode into which she delves the reader allowing them into her head. Laura shares her deepest desires, feelings, losses and achievements giving the reader the positives and negatives of her life. Definitely a good read and worth sharing the story with others. It gives anyone with bipolar disorder hope for the possibilities a successful future.

[Lori Holden · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finished this book in 3 sitting; it is that enthralling. The author extracts order from chaos by becoming the observer of her own life, sorting through issues of adoption and mental illness as well as the coping mechanisms she'd developed to deal with them.

A great read for anyone interested in the experience of being adopted, of emerging mental illness, of being strong of will, wildly talented, and becoming self-aware.

[Stacy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir read like an exciting novel, and I had a hard time putting it down. I was hooked from the beginning, curious to find out what was going to happen next. Not only was it interesting and well written, it was very informative on both the topics of adoption and bipolar disorder. I highly recommend this read!

[Naomi · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5/5 Stars

Blog review in progress.

I need some time to process this review. This is a very different book.