Falling into You

Falling #1

by Jasinda Wilder

I wasn't always in love with Colton Calloway; I was in love with his younger brother, Kyle, first. Kyle was my first one true love, my first in every way.

Then, one stormy August night, he died, and the person I was died with him.

Colton didn't teach me how to live. He didn't heal the pain. He didn't make it okay. He taught me how to hurt, how to not be okay, and, eventually, how to let go.

Genres: Romance, New Adult, Contemporary, Contemporary Romance, Young Adult, College, Erotica

240 pages, Nook

First published March 14, 2013

About the author

NEW YORK TIMES, USA TODAY, WALL STREET JOURNAL and international bestselling author Jasinda Wilder is a Michigan native with a penchant for titillating tales about sexy men and strong women. Her bestselling titles include ALPHA, STRIPPED, WOUNDED, and the #1 Amazon and international bestseller FALLING INTO YOU. You can find her on her farm in Northern Michigan with her husband, author Jack Wilder, her six children and menagerie of animals.

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Reviews

[Aestas Book Blog · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars

A dark, emotional read filled with pain and loss but also love and hope. It reminds you how precious life is and how, even in the darkest of times, hope can always shine though.

You know how sometimes you come across a book where you read the blurb and it just makes you want to drop everything in your life so you can read it? This book did that to me. From the moment I heard about it, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

The dedication set the tone for the story. Heavy. Emotional. Hitting you right in the heart.

“This book is for anyone who has ever lost a loved one, for anyone who has woken up crying and gone to bed the same way, for anyone who has had to learn that it’s okay to not be okay. Surviving isn’t strength, it’s continuing to breathe one day at a time; strength is learning to live despite the pain.”

I love Jasinda Wilder’s writing. She made me fall in love. She ripped out my heart. She made me grieve. But then she made me move on. Not forget, but just move forward. And find a way to be happy again. I truly felt like I went through the journey with the heroine.

Kyle and Nell grew up together. They’d been inseparable since they were babies and it was almost inevitable that they end up together. Everyone almost expected it and for so many reasons, they were just perfect for each other.

The author captured both the thrill and fumbling perfection of first love – the awkwardness, curiosity, desire, hope… I felt it all. But at the same time, I read with a certain sense of dread. Because of the blurb and the teaser chapter, I knew what was coming and I dreaded it.

But regardless of knowing it was coming, “that” scene still ripped my heart out again and made my cry. I felt it so strongly. Felt it to my core.

After Kyle’s death (not a spoiler, because it’s mentioned in the blurb), I just read scene after scene constantly on the verge of tears. When Nell cried, I cried with her. I could feel how broken she was with all my heart. And it was just shattering.

“I wanted nothing more than to climb into the box with him and quit breathing, find him in whatever came after life.”

At the funeral was where Nell saw Colton for the first time since she was a kid. He was the complete opposite of Kyle. The bad boy to Kyle’s golden boy reputation. Rugged, tattooed, and most importantly, understanding of her pain. He offered her comfort without question or judgment.

“I hold her. I don’t tell her it’s okay.
“Be mad,” I say. “Be hurt. Be broken. Cry.”

They just had this… connection. It was subtle and unspoken. But, without a doubt, there.

At first, there was the tiniest feeling of ‘too soon’ for me. But the more I think about it now, the more I understand it. She loved Kyle because it made sense. He was her best friend and everything in life had pointed them right at each other. But what she felt for Colton was never predestined, it just was. Undeniably so.

At this point we are treated to Colton’s POV. Two years later, in NYC, Colton runs into Nell and can see that she has still not let go of the pain of losing Kyle. It still haunts her and he is determined to help her through it.

“I can’t fix her. I know this too. I’m not going to try. I’ve had too many goody-goody girls hook up with me, thinking they can fix me. I also know I’m not going to stay away.”

Colton understood her. Deeply. Having suffered through a very different childhood than his brother, he understands pain. He’s not trying to get her to move on, but just to allow herself to feel the pain. To let it in and to deal with it.

“We understand each other, Nelly. We’ve both lost someone we love. We both have scars and regrets and anger. We can do this together.”

“I can’t be fixed.”
“You’re committed to being broken forever?”
“Goddamit, Colton. Why are you doing this? You don’t know me.”
“I want to.” It’s the answer to both of her statements.

This book deals with some heavy themes and the story was emotional but there were also several moments that had me snorting with laughter.

Music played a big part in this book as well. It gave a voice to the pain. A voice to the emotions that were bottled up deep inside. The songs really got to me and I cried while reading almost every one.

There were both 5 star moments in this book as well as a few that made me go squinty-eyed but over all, I loved the story.

The novel is a great length – not too long, not too short. It gives you plenty of time to connect with the characters. It’ll rip out your heart, but it’ll also allow you to heal and leave you in a happy place.

If you are looking for a new, emotional read, this would be a great choice.

“… when you feel that kind of all-consuming need for someone, a person you’d do fucking anything for, no matter what? They’re in your fucking skin, in your soul, like the essence of who they are is imprinted on you so completely like the very air you breathe… That’s love.”

Here's my casting:

Colton:


Nell:


Kyle:




TEASER CHAPTER AVAILABLE HERE:
http://www.jasindawilder.com/2013/03/...

I wasn't always in love with Colton Calloway; I was in love with his younger brother, Kyle, first. Kyle was my first one true love, my first in every way.

Then, one stormy August night, he died, and the person I was died with him.

Colton didn't teach me how to live. He didn't heal the pain. He didn't make it okay. He taught me how to hurt, how to not be okay, and, eventually, how to let go.

For more of my reviews, visit Aestas Book Blog

And come join the Aestas Book Blog Facebook Page

Thank you Jasinda Wilder for providing me an ARC to review.

[~ Becs ~ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh. Mon. Dieu!!

This was such a rollercoaster of a book as you run the gamut of so many emotions. It takes you from sappy happy right down to the depths of despair and then guides you slowly back to happiness but not without an deeply anguished journey first.

I guess, if you’re reading my review, then you’ve read the blurb above. As you read the first part of the novel about Nell and Kyle and their budding high school romance you know that something terrible is just around the corner and, as you read it, you can feel the sorrow coming. It’s a beautiful part of the story, high school friends slowly becoming boyfriend and girlfriend and, eventually, becoming lovers. It’s beautifully done but it’s tinged with incredible sadness as you know that it’s about to be ripped away from them. And, when it did, it was so awful, so very tragic that I cried right along with Nell.

At Kyle’s funeral Nell is trying to lock away her grief, to not give it an outlet and Colt, Kyle’s older brother sees this – they spend a bit of time together. There’s an electric connection between them but both of them realise how inappropriate this is at this time and they ignore it. We jump forward two years when Nell and Colt are both now living in New York and they bump into one another again.

As we catch up with Nell, two years after the tragedy that took Kyle from her, it’s apparent that she is hurting badly. She’s in so much emotional pain, so many shards and jags in her soul and she’s cutting herself to make her forget the pain, to feel another kind of pain. She’s carrying a huge amount of survivor’s guilt and feels completely responsible for Kyle’s death, for being alive and in the world when he isn’t. She’s never let that grief out and now it’s eating away at her like a cancer, changing who she is, not allowing her to get on with her life. She’s just a guilt-ravaged shell of the carefree, optimistic, hopeful girl she once was.

Colton has also had his share of tragedy and a difficult past and he completely recognises the pain that he sees in Nell. That zinging connection they shared two years ago has never gone away and they cannot resist for long and they literally fall into one another, healing each other. The sex between these two is seriously off the charts HOT and I would advise against reading it in your lunch break at work and then expecting to concentrate for the afternoon. My Bad!!

You bite your lip, and I want to take that lip into my mouth and suck on it like a popsicle. I want to lick your lips and bite them and kiss you until you’re fucking lost and gasping and puddled on the floor.

Holy Fuck!!


Jasinda Wilder is, I think, such a talented writer. She takes the issue of self-harm and handles it so sensitively. So many people who harm themselves are doing this to block out another kind of pain – often abuse, chronic medical conditions, deep emotional pain. This is the case of Nell – she hurts herself to block out the all-consuming guilt and grief she harbours over Kyle’s death. I thought this was incredibly well done.

Colt understands her and why she does it – he doesn’t like it and is determined that she won’t do it again. He’s had a difficult life so far, has done many things he regrets and all that emotional pain walled up inside Nell is deeply familiar to him. It’s beautiful to watch how they slowly shared their experiences with one another and gave all that awful grief an outlet. They heal one another.

We understand each other, Nelly. We’ve both lost someone we love. We both have scars and regrets and anger. We can do this together.

Despite all this, there is humour to be found – it’s not all an angst-ridden story and they often made me laugh.

“Oh god…” I whimper.
“I haven’t done anything yet baby,” Colton growls.
“I know,” I pant. “I was just saying your name.”

Jasinda Wilder made me cry, she made me happy, she even made me laugh but most of all she gave me a beautiful, emotional romance that I will NEVER forget.

4.5 stars

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[Christy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wasn’t always in love with Colton Calloway; I was in love with his younger brother, Kyle first.

Nell Hawthorne and Kyle Calloway have been best friends since the day they were born. They are neighbors, born in the same hospital two days apart, and basically grew up together. Now they are both 16. They both feel more than friendship towards each other, so they start to date. They go from a best friend love, to a romantic love.

And now we’re learning how to fall in love together. I don’t care what anyone else says. I love you. I’ll always love you, no matter what happens with us in the future. I love you now and forever.

Kyle is the sweetest guy. Fast forward two years... Nell and Kyle have just graduated high school. They are deciding their futures. Where they are going to go to college, Kyle wants to marry Nell. While on a vacation to a cabin, it starts to storm. A tree falls. Anyone who has read the synopsis knows what happens, doesn’t make it any easier though. Be prepared for some tears.

“Don’t leave me.” I barely heard my own voice.
“I... I don’t want to,” he whispered. “I love you. I love you.”

Nell feels like she is to blame for Kyles death. She can’t cope. She can’t grieve. She can’t let it out.



At Kyle’s funeral, Nell sees Kyle’s older brother, Colton, for the first time since they were kids. Kyle’s brother is the opposite of him. Dark hair, blue eyes, rough around the edges, but he is there for Nell. He’s the only person who tries to comfort her and just lets her deal in peace.


“You need to let yourself feel. Feel it, own it. Then move on.”

Fast forward a few more years... Nell and Colton are both living in NYC. They run into each other for the first time since Kyle’s death. Colton figures out pretty quickly that Nell is still a mess.



She has never properly grieved, or moved on. Colton wants to be there for Nell. She doesn’t let him at first. As time goes on, he breaks some of her barriers down.

I want to take her pain.

The main thing Colton tries to get through to Nell is...

“It’s not okay. You don’t have to be okay.”

“What do you want from me?”

“I want you to let yourself be broken. Let yourself hurt.”

Nell is not the only one dealing with the guilt of the past. Colton has demons of his own. Loved seeing into his past and getting to know what made him the man he is now. Colton knows Nell is special, but its hard for them. He tries to tell her just how he sees her...

“You’re a lot of things, Nell Hawthorne. You’re complex. You’re cute. You’re lovely. You’re funny. You’re strong. Your beautiful. You’re tortured. You’re hurting. You’re amazing. You’re talented. You’re sexy as fuck.”

Together, they work through their pasts and try to move on from the ghosts. They learn its okay to move on. They lean on each other, on music, and the feelings they have for each other start to surface.



Colt and Nell together... ahh. It was just perfect. It’s like they were meant to be. Things start to go well for the two of them, then something else big happens(I know, as if these two haven’t been through enough already?!?!) that shakes them up.


My emotions were all over the place... I was happy, I was sad, I was heartbroken, It was a beautiful story, there were some really steamy scenes and some heart wrenching scenes. It was kind of all over the place, but in the best way!
I loved the music in this story. Music heals the soul, and the play list at the end of the book was amazing!
Nell and Colt were beautiful together. This book was heavy. It dealt with some heavy issues, but I absolutely loved it. Nell and Colton’s journey was heartbreaking, but the ending left me happy. This is a wonderful 5 star read, for anyone looking for an emotional heartbreaking story that will leave you with a smile.

[SueBee★bring me an alpha!★ · Rating 4 out of 5]

★★★★1/2! Falling into You. Poignant, beautiful & intense story of love, loss, grief, guilt, healing & second chances!

Anyone who has ever lost a loved one still a teenager or child knows that gaping void. Yet this story is a reminder that life oftentimes has a way of turning out OK not because of everything that happened, but in spite of it!

Story is alternating between Nell’s and later Colton’s POV (in first person).

“I wasn't always in love with Colton Calloway; I was in love with his younger brother, Kyle, first. Kyle was my first one true love, my first in every way.”

Nell Hawthorne, “Nelly”: daughter of CEO/student-part-time waitress/20 years old/strawberry blond hair/grey-green eyes.

Nell and her first love Kyle grew up together; they were born two days apart, lived next door to each other, their moms were best friends and both families expected them to end up together. At age sixteen they became a couple and had two wonderful years together until that fateful night Kyle tragically died, leaving Nell to fend for herself; In shock, grieving, guilt ridden and trying to make sense of what happened. Such a beautiful innocent love that would never again be.

Nell and Kyle’s brother, Colton see each other at Kyle’s funeral and they apparent that they both feel a special connection, but the timing isn’t right. Fast forward two years when they run into each other in New York, where they both reside.



Colton Calloway, “Colt”: Kyle’s older brother/son of Congressman/25 years old/auto body shop owner-musician/black hair/blue eyes.

Colton is handsome, sexy, in control, smart, observant, wise beyond his years. What an amazing hero and precious soul and how his parents could have let him run away at seventeen (a minor!) and never looked for him is perplexing, horrifying, inexcusable and a crime!

Nevertheless in those eight years since he left he has made a life for himself owning an auto body shop and getting by. As the story unfolds we learn that him getting to that point was horrendous and flecked with danger and he has the battle scars to prove it both inside and out. He has demons and many, many secrets that you are just going to have to read the story to find out.

“He stood more than a foot taller than I did, his shoulders like a football player’s pads, arms corded thick. He was huge, I realized. Kyle had been lean and toned. Colton was… something else. Obviously powerful. Hard. Primal.”

Nell, Nelly has done nothing to deal with her grief, guilt, shame, self-loathing and sorrow in the two years that has passed. Her life is on the brink of spinning out of control. It’s a miracle she is holding it together.

“You’re a lot of things, Nell Hawthorne. You’re complex. You’re cute. You’re lovely. You’re funny. You’re strong. You’re beautiful.” She seems to be struggling with words and emotions. I keep going. “You’re tortured. You’re hurting. You’re amazing. You’re talented. You’re sexy as f~ck.”

Colt sees Nell and recognizes a lot of warning signs yet he feels this connection, this attraction and this need to save her even though he knows he can’t:

“There’s darkness in this girl now. I almost don’t want to get involved. She’ll hurt me. I know this. I can see it, feel it coming. She’s got so much pain, so many cracks and shards and jags in her soul, and I’m going to get cut by her if I’m not careful. I can’t fix her.”

Falling into you is a story of grief, pain, self-loathing, healing, love and second chances. Poignant. Heart wrenching. Beautiful. A must read. Excellent story telling by Jasinda Wilder!

“I’m not just falling in love with you, Nell. I’m falling into you. You’re an ocean, and I’m falling in, drowning in the depths of who you are.”

***
Hero rating: 5 stars
Heroine rating: 3.5 stars
Sex scenes rating: 5 stars
Sex scenes frequency: 4.5 stars
Storyline concept rating: 5 stars
Storytelling skills rating: 5 stars
Story ending rating: 4.5 stars
Book editing rating (5 = no edits spotted): 4.5 stars
************************************************
Overall rating: 4.5 stars

Would I recommend this book: Yes.
Would I re-read this book: Maybe later.
Would I read future books by this author: Yes.

[Katrina Passick Lumsden · Rating 2 out of 5]

So. This is NA smut. Not YA smut (which might be illegal? I don't know), not mommy smut. NA smut.

I had thought it was going to be a New Adult story with some steamy scenes, but alas, this book consists of a slew of hastily written, badly paced plot devices weaved awkwardly between sex scenes. The strangest thing is that, even though the sex scenes were (I thought) fairly well-written, they seemed rushed, too. Was the entire thing rushed? Well, we're talking about four or five years and numerous emotional upheavals jammed into 223 pages. Yes, it's rushed. The entire book, summed up in 50 words or less: Nell grows up with Kyle, loses her virginity, gets proposed to, Kyle dies, Nell turns into a raging alcoholic and cutter, Colton bangs her a lot and yells at her to cry, Nell miscarries, they "fall into" each other, voila. Problems solved, lots of sex was had, the end.

If you enjoy a story to go along with the sex (and if you hate a lot of needless emotional fuckery), steer clear of this book. But if all you're looking for is a quick read about sex, hey, more power to ya.

[♡Karlyn P♡ · Rating 4 out of 5]

INTO YOU is a dark, steamy, sexy NA romance that aims for heart, punches you in the gut, and then, finally, lifts your spirits sky high.

The very first sentence sets the powerful tone for the entire book:

"I wasn't always in love with Colton Calloway; I was in love with his younger brother, Kyle, first."

It only took reading that single sentence to convince me to read this book, as I couldn't help but wonder about the brothers and what went wrong. And, what went right.

This is Nell's story, but it is told over several years and through the alternating POVs of Nell and Colton. For Nell and Colton, survival is about learning how to live life on their own terms, and not through the dreams their parents wished for them as young children. When life crushed their spirits, and their young dreams faded away, pain became their welcomed friend. Emotionally and physically.

With this odd connection, Nell and Colton truly understand each other. Through the shared love of music and guitar, they find a friendship and eventually a love that allows them to finally deal with their past.

I was surprised how much I liked these two characters together. Fundamentally they were so different, but by the end of the book I couldn't imagine them apart. And for an NA book, this was very steamy. In fact, I would probably call this a straight adult romance. These two burned up a lot of pages! (This author can write some hot steamy scenes. Whew!)

My issues with the book were small, and they mostly focused around Nell. I did like her and I understood her issues, but I also had to remind myself often that she was young so don't expect her to act like a mature adult. At least not yet. She was an over-thinker and made some questionable choices, which got a bit dramatic for my personal tastes.

Colton was a well developed and awesome hero character. For me, he is what made this book so special. He had a rare mix of strength and sensitivity; he was rough and tough but not in a Neanderthal kind of way. He wrote beautiful lyrics, words straight from his heart and soul. But he was fierce and could survive street fighting and protect those around him.

FALLING INTO YOU will remind you that life rarely turns out as one expects when they are young, but you can still hope for love and a chance that something special will come of it. And who knows, you might even surpass your wildest dreams.

((Thanks my GR Friends for the recommendation! Without your reviews, I would have missed this little gem.))

[*Book-Lover* · Rating 5 out of 5]

10+ Stars!!

I've been trying to pull myself together since i finished reading this book about three and a half hrs ago...and NO LUCK!! I'm not really great at reviews but here it is..

Nell and Kyle:


Oh it is a beautiful, verge-of-innocence, experiencing love for the first time experience for these two. Best friends, who discover that there can be something more between them, and you really feel the connection here with these two! Unfortunately something horrific happens and Kyle is ripped away from all that he loves...



Nell:


Oh boy! Nell goes through a darkness after losing Kyle. She holds onto this sense of guilt, self-hate, resentment after losing kyle that destroys her. Her pain was so hard to read through, the way she takes it out on herself, was relatable and devastating..

Colton:


Oh Colton!!!! We first meet Colton at Kyle's funeral, and he's nothing more than a shoulder for Nell to lean on, and he surprises her by handling her grief alot different that everyone around her, which she appreciates. Colton however, has some heavy demons of his own dealing with, which we don't discover until later...

Colton and Nell:


OMG!! Their connection is something so so much more than physical! I am so blown away by their emotional connection, their ability to open up about the most painful, embarrassing, horrific stuff of their past to each other, things that they have never spoken to anyone else about. She sees him as her defender, protector, a safe haven, a warm balm to cope, release, move on....He sees her as a broken, destroyed shell full of potential to hope, live, love, breathe again. He knows he's going to get crushed by her, but he doesn't care, he's determined to help her get off this path of destruction. I was surprised at how deep and dark this book got with Nell dealing with her grief and Colton's past and "disability". Which just made me love it more!

The music:


The music played a huge secondary character in this book. In certain scenes they were able to communicate by singing songs to each other, using the songs, to say stuff that they couldn't. There were scenes where the music was used as a source of comfort and healing. Both times colton sings to her... BREATHTAKING!!! One of my fav songs and such powerful lyrics by Jason Marz, Colton actually sings to her.. *no words*

The Sex:


SO FREAKING HOT!!!!!!!!!!Colton reveals a more Dominate side, which Nell is surprised that she really loves, and we see Nell blossom from the shy, nervous girl with Kyle when she lost her virginity to a full "shameless slut-beast" as she calls herself!


BUT I would have loved an epilogue of Nell and Colton to get a glimpse into how far they came after everything they've been through...




GO READ THIS BOOK!!!!!!! (and i recommend Wounded by the same author Jasinda WIlder also!)

[Sharon ∞❥ is an emotional book junkie ❥∞ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reread 2/6/2016...just as good as the first time!

"I wasn't always in love with Colton Calloway; I was in love with his younger brother, Kyle, first."

With a first line like that, you know this is going to be a tough, gritty, dark book and it definitely is.

Nell grew up with Kyle and they did everything together. It helped that they were neighbors, their mothers were friends and they were born only two days apart. When Nell can finally date, Kyle's best friend asks her out. Unfortunately when she tells Kyle, he freaks out and that leads them both to the conclusion that they have always loved each other as more than friends.



It's a wonderful first love...full of promise and hope...and happiness. Until one day when things change and Nell will never be the same. Enter Colton, Kyle's older brother, and now Nell will definitely never be the same.

Both Nell and Colton fight what they feel for each other. They both have been wounded and it takes two years before they see each other again. Nell has spiraled out of control and is barely holding on. Thankfully, Colton recognizes what she is going through and can help her, can help heal her soul.



The chapters are spaced out...sometimes in years, sometimes in weeks. At the beginning, Nell and Kyle are only sixteen years old but we move two years ahead fairly quickly. I've always complained about books coming in after a tragedy and missing everything that happened. You don't have to worry about that in this book and I'm not sure I liked it. I know, I know...that's what I get for complaining. It just felt like Kyle's part was a bit choppy and forced. Once Colton comes in, things really smooth out.

I really enjoyed getting Nell and Colton's POVs. It was intriguing to see the similar things they both went through. I have to admit that I didn't like hearing about Colton's past love life but he should have one too, right?

I loved how they talked to each other in songs. You always hear how music heals the soul and I really believe that it did in this case. At the end of the book there is a playlist but I really enjoyed these two songs the best:

Avett Brothers - I and Love and You

Jason Mraz - I Won't Give Up

And crazy, hot sex scenes....WOW. This is definitely not a YA book even though the first part makes it feel that way. Colton's got some moves!

There were a lot of emotional issues that this book deals with. It definitely pulls at your heart strings. And we get some more drama at the end. Not sure how I felt about it and if it was really necessary? What I really wanted was an epilogue...I guess I'm getting spoiled.

I've heard there's going to be another book, Falling Into Us. JW has said it's not a sequel or a change of POVs but more of an expansion of what everyone went through and more Nell and Colton. It's suppose to come out in July.

★ I've really been enjoying book trailers that are made by some incredible people. There are a couple out for this book and here's one I really enjoyed:

Falling Into You book trailer


Favorite quotes:

♥ That note would become my greatest comfort, and the reminder of my deepest heartache.

♥ “You can’t, Nell. Just…hold my hand. I love you.” (sob!!)

♥ "There’s darkness in this girl, now. I almost don’t want to get involved. She’ll hurt me. I know this. I can see it, feel it coming."

♥ “It is home. I may sleep upstairs, but this garage is home. More than you know.”

♦ "I'm a lot of things, Tinkerbell. Sweet ain't one of them."

♥ “I deserve exactly you,” he cuts in, settling his hands on my hips as I kneel astride his thighs. “Only you. The good and the bad. All you, all beautiful.”

♥ “I’m not just falling in love with you, Nell. I’m falling into you. You’re an ocean, and I’m falling in, drowning in the depths of who you are. Like you said, it’s scary in a way, but it’s also the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced. You are the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced.”

♥ “All my life it seems
I’ve been falling,
Failing,
Flailing,
Barely keeping my head above water.
And then one day
I saw you
Standing beneath a spreading tree,
Refusing to weep.
But even then I saw
The weight of pain hiding in your eyes,
And I wished then,
There beneath that tree,
To take it all away.
But I had no words to heal you.
I had no words to heal myself.
And now that Fate has intervened,
Conspired to draw us together,
Despite the years between us,
Despite the weight of pain
Behind both our eyes,
Despite the ghosts trailing all around us
Like a fog of haunting souls,
I’m still trying to find the words to heal you,
To take your pain and make it all my own
So your beautiful eyes can smile,
So you can be at peace.
And now that Fate has intervened,
Conspired to draw us together,
I can’t resist the lure of your eyes,
The temptation of your beauty,
The siren song of your voice
Whispering my name
In the dark comfort between my sheets.
I can’t resist you, baby,
Because I’m falling still,
I’m falling into you.”

[It's just me Shelly B · Rating 3 out of 5]

"I wasn't always in love with Colton Calloway; I was in love with his younger brother, Kyle, first.”



This book was the absolute saddest "f"ing book I've ever READ!!!! Let me repeat myself.......THE SADDEST book I've EVER read!!!!! This book is going to be very hard for me to review because honestly, I don't like sad books....at ALL!!! So I'm going to start with a general description and then I will get to my feelings on this book.

This book is about Colton and Nell. In the beginning Nell was young, a 16 year old girl, and in love with Kyle but that came to a crashing halt due to a fatal freak accident. Nell being a child herself had a very difficult time dealing with this because not only was Kyle her boyfriend but he had also been her best friend since they were children.

Colton was Kyle's older brother, he left home after high school due to expectations that he couldn't meet or decided that he wasn't going to meet and made a life of his own on NYC.

They meet for the first time at Kyle's funeral and they both recognize something in each other....but they aren't quite sure what that is.

“But Colton is…I’m safe with him. He draws the truth out of me. He draws the pain out of me. Colton knows pain. He’s intimately familiar with it. Lives with it. Guilt too.”

So they meet again accidentally in NYC, Colton is a musician and he plays for the love of music not the money and Nell just happens to see him playing in Central Park...and that's when THEIR story begins.



It's a painful story on both their parts and painful for totally different reasons. They do eventually bare all their emotional baggage to one another..one sad story at a time. They end up being each others true solace and it's beautiful watching it unfold........IF you like sad books!! It really is beautiful watching them heal each other and the music ends up being their escape.

“We understand each other, Nelly. We’ve both lost someone we love. We both have scars and regrets and anger. We can do this together."

“...you have to be okay. You have to let yourself heal and move on. You’re stuck in the moment of his death, right now. Locked into a cycle with no way out. You have to break the cycle."



My Thoughts
Let me start this by saying that this is a great book for people who enjoy THIS kind of book. The book it's self is wonderful, great story line, great characters.....I'm just the WRONG person to read it! I hate sad ass books..........and this is a tear jerker!

Ok enough I'm done.........this book was sad.......sad as hell!!!!!! Nothing and I mean NOTHING went right for these two people!! When you think of a sad book you hope that maybe, just maybe in the end something will work out........and I guess one thing did for them BUT that's ALL.....one thing!!!!! Some of the book didn't even make sense to me because of the high profile careers their parents had...now I know it's fiction and if you write it well enough I don't care if aliens are buying milk at a gas station but if not...it bothers me! This particular thing bothered me, really bad!!!

I'm going to stop now because part of my issue is I don't like this type of book but I will say that the book was good and I can understand why MANY people enjoyed it, however it just wasn't the book for me. That being said I gave it 3 stars because of personal preference but if you like this style of book 4-5 stars definitely!

I'm not even going to tell you who recommended this book to me....but you know who you are woman!!!!! This book to me, was her Cam...just so you know:)))))))

I'm glad I read this book because I know life's not always about roses and rainbows....there is pain and suffering.......but damn!!!!!

I'm done.............READ it you may LOVE it!!!!!!!

[J · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm a wreck, I have just been torn down and stripped of all emotions.
I can't even begin to describe how much I loved this book. It went above & beyond any expectation I had.
It is absolutely one of the best books that I've read this year, Jasinda Wilder is brilliant and her writing is just incredible. This book made me feel every word, every touch, every gut wrenching emotion in this story. From the first page to the last sentence.

Falling into You is a beautiful yet Heartbreaking story about a girl, Nell.

When Nell's boyfriend Kyle dies suddenly in a tragic accident, Nell is forever changed.

"I wanted nothing more than to climb into the box with him and quit breathing, find him in whatever came after life."

At the funeral is where we meet Colton, Kyles older brother.
As Nell goes through the days after Kyle's death, Colton is the one that Nell opens up to.
There is as undeniable connection between the two that both try to ignore.

2 Years later in New York City
Nell is reunited with Colt
Colton realizes that, Nell has never really gotten over Kyle’s death. She still has not grieved for Kyle.
She holds on to the pain, guilt and regret by dealing with them in her own unhealthy way.
He knows he shouldn’t get involved, but he can’t help himself. He wants to help her.

~"You need to let yourself feel. Feel it, own it. Then move on."
"You make it sound so easy." Bitterness drips from each syllable.
"It's not. It's the fucking hardest thing a person can do."~

~"Feel. grieve. Let yourself feel all the anger at the fact that he was taken from you. Feel the loss of him. Feel the sadness and the missing him. Don't block it out, don't cut so it so stops, don't drink yourself numb. just sit and let it all rip you apart And then get up and keep breathing. One breath at a time. One day at a time. Wake up, and be shredded. Cry for a while. Then stop crying and go about your day. You're not okay, but you're alive and you will be okay, someday."~

Colt has his own demons, he is dealing with a past of regret, loss and deals with
Together they are painful, mess.
They have been through so much hurt, they can see it in each other.
He can relate and knows what Nell needs to do to heal her deep wounds.



Only when she lets go of her guilt can she slowly start the process of grieving.

~It's violent, I don't even know how long she sobs. Time ceases to pass, and she cries cries, cries. Clutches me and makes these sounds of a soul being ripped in two, the grief so long denied taking it's toll. ~

Their Journey is… I just don't know how to express it to you. It's beyond words. Its an emotion, a feeling, a journey to someplace no one should take. Your heart is pounding and all these emotions rise up the back of your throat only to get stuck.


Together they slowly heal.
They both feel closer to each other than with anyone else before.

~"I'm still trying to find the words to heal you,
To take your pain and make it all my own
So your beautiful eyes can smile,
So you can be at peace.
And now that Fate has intervened,
Conspired to draw us together,
I can't resist the lure of your eyes,
The temptation of you beauty,
The siren song of you voice
Wispering my name
In the dark comfort between my sheets.
I can't resist you, baby,
Because I'm falling still,
I'm falling into you."~

But with that comes the guilt. The guilt of Kyle
However this is real.
It's life, it's truth and you won't expect anything else.

~"There's no magical healing in this. I won't wake up tomorrow fixed and joyful. I'll still hurt and grieve.
But moments like this, with Colton? They make it all bearable. He doesnt fix me, doesn't heal me. He just makes life worthwhile. he helps me remember to breathe, shows me how to smile again. he kisses me and I can forget pain."~

I loved it, couldn't put it down.
I haven't cried so hard, so much in one book!
The song he wrote in the hospital….
NO words just an absolute blubbering mess.

Jasinda Wilder AMAZING!! I'm in awe.
Her song writing.... It speaks to you.
I have read books with references to songs and artists before and never really drew on that.
But with Falling into you, it makes you stop and listen. I was on my Itunes listening after each reference and feeling the words.
This is a must read for everybody!

~"I'm not just falling in love with you, Nell. I'm falling into you. You're an ocean, and I'm falling in, drowning in the depths of who you are. "~

Amazing ++ 5 ++ Stars

Buy it.
Read it.
Love it.

[Tough Critic Book Reviews · Rating 4 out of 5]

BOOK TRAILER: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAXSOi...

Falling Into You will turn you into a sobbing, makeup-less insomniac…with unkempt eyebrows, and snot.

We are told from the start that Kyle dies (Stop yelling at me, it’s in the synopsis). No alluding, no inference; it’s black and white…he dies. No beating around the bush; the bush gets its ass kicked!

You’re sad before you even open the book. Then you actually get to know the characters. You fall in love with the characters. Let the free fall begin.

Best friends falling in love?? Damn you Jasinda Wilder…damn you. You found my Achilles heel and sliced it with kryptonite. My emotions bled out before I even got to chapter six. You know it’s coming the whole time, but you pray. You pray to God, Buddah, Asian monks, and Obama that it isn’t going to happen. It isn’t. Please don’t let it happen.

I even prayed that Jasinda Wilder would eventually jump up and yell, “Syke!! He lives.” That didn’t happen.

What did happen was hurt, loss, love, and healing. Colton happened. He never replaced Kyle in my heart, but I accepted that. Nell accepted that. It wasn’t about not hurting. It was about surviving…living.

What Nell went through with Kyle is what made her perfect for Colton.

In unrelated news, you know what works better than Kleenex to dry tears? Hot passionate sex. When Colton was asleep and she…and it…then he…and…and…OH MY GOD! I’m convinced that sometimes emotional pain is the best aphrodisiac.

This was my first time with Jasinda Wilder and she was anything but gentle. There is something about a book that emotionally bleeds you dry that is almost therapeutic. Like an emotional cleanse, cathartic. This was an amazing story to tell and one that will stay with me forever.

READ ON!

More reviews at http://www.toughcriticbookreviews.blo...

[Heather K (dentist in my spare time) · Rating 1 out of 5]

*Audiobook edition*

I DNFed this audiobook at 86%, which was AMPLE time to make up my mind about it.

I bought this book because one of my very few local friends that reads romance was raving about this book.

I should have known better.

I should have known from all of the dozens of gif-y reviews that this book wouldn't be very good, but this was still a let down. Falling into You was like a checklist for everything annoying about romance.

The beginning was very YA, and very irritating. First of all, the whole sex and virginity issue just came across as ridiculous. I have a thing for the virgin trope in romance (yes, I know it's trite), but I just hate an annoying virgin. Nell was one of those. I have never ever heard of someone just go from only kissing for months to one night jumping to full-on sex, but Nell made it seem like the only way. In fact, the whole relationship with Kyle was so irritating that I wasn't even affected when he finally died (not a spoiler, it's in the blurb).

Another thing, because Kyle's death is a thing that readers know is coming, the author kept teasing his death with foreshadowing and "dangerous situations." I kept thinking, "Now this must be when he dies," and then it would be just a random moment where everything turned out okay. I was finally so SICK of being teased as to when Kyle was finally going to kick the bucket that I almost skimmed forward to after his death just to be done with it. And that final death scene was just SOOOO melodramatic.

When Nell finally meets Colton years later, it's another disaster. Colton's backstory felt so phony that my eyes were constantly rolling. I'm from the New York area, and the idea that Colton, a rich white boy, would be welcomed into a street gang and then just leave when he felt like it was so fake that it made me want to throw my Kindle. Combine that with a hit-list of classic romance "woe is me" plot elements, and I simply checked out.

Misunderstood rich boy! Almost rape! Learning disabilities! Substance abuse! Gangs! Self-harm! Pregnancy!

Just stop, please. Learn some restraint, Jasinda Wilder.

In terms of the audio, the narrators were... fine. Nothing special, and certainly not enough to make me want to finish the book.

All in all, this was a waste of my time and money. Seasoned romance readers used to something with substance should skip this one.

[Lise *friends don't flag* · Rating 5 out of 5]

Damn… I love this author. Jasinda Wilder’s writing can draw out every deep-seated emotion and feeling I ever knew existed within me and make it all so painfully beautiful as well as thrilling.
This story starts out with childhood best friends to lovers; Kyle and Nell and their story is so sweet and tragically cut short.

Nell deals with her guilt and sadness in self-destructive ways and it is not until years later when Kyle’s older brother, Colton comes into her life, does she start to heal and forgive herself. Colton has some serious issues and secrets of his own but he is well on his road to recovery with help from his love of restoring cars to his music-

“You’re okay, now. You’re okay, now. Just hold on, one more day. Just hold on, one more hour. Someone will come for you. Someone will hold you close. I know, I know. It’s not okay, it’s not all right. But if you just hold on, One more day, one more hour. It will be. It will be.”

The healing power of music is a running theme throughout this story and the author does an amazing job of weaving together the words of this book and the lyrics of the songs.

“I could write a song, and her name would be the music. I could sing, strum a guitar, and her body would be the melody"

Colton and Nell take things slowly as they share their pain of the past and move toward the promise of a future-

“We’re both haunted by the specters of our pasts, but we have to move on sometime and force the voice of our guilt to be silent. Now is that time”

And… boy do they ever move on, and in and out, and up and down…

“He pushes in, oh so gently. Oh, god, oh, god, ohmigod. Now his circling fingers are swift and accurate, sending heat through me. I shift and arch, bow my back and roll my hips. So good. So good. I lift up onto my knees and push back, liking the fullness of his finger inside me. Oh, god. “Colton… don’t stop.”

Yeah… very intense and so full of passion and finally admitted love-

“I’m not just falling in love with you, Nell. I’m falling into you. You’re an ocean, and I’m falling in, drowning in the depths of who you are”

But fear seeps in again and something happens that could change the course of their love and you will have to read this wonderful book to find out the rest of the story.

[Kristen · Rating 4 out of 5]

3 1/2 to 4 stars

This story was good and I enjoyed it–over-the-top angst and all–but my expectations were set a little too high due to all the hype. Happens.

[Natasha is a Book Junkie · Rating 5 out of 5]

“We’re both haunted by the specters of our pasts, but we have to move on sometime and force the voice of our guilt to be silent.”

It’s been three days since I finished reading this book and I am still thinking about it, obsessing about it, catching myself re-reading passages, highlighting new ones. I can honestly say that I never expected to be blown away this completely and I most certainly did not expect to find a new favourite. This story will make you feel so many emotions you won’t know which way is up and which way is down. Emotional, poignant, exceptionally written, believable… and it comes with the bonus of having by far the hottest sex scene I have ever had the pleasure of reading. And re-reading. And re-reading. As much as this book made me cry and it crushed my heart on so many occasions, it left me deliriously happy because I knew I had found a rare gem.

We meet Nell as a young woman living a carefree life – she has a loving family, a blessed childhood, a best friend who has been in her life since they were kids. We watch the friendship between them develop into something more, we watch them fall in love, experience all their firsts, we feel their bond in our hearts and we are giddy about every single happy moment they share as their relationship progresses naturally and effortlessly.

“Nothing mattered but the delirious joy of Kyle, of my first kiss, of making out with my best friend, the only guy I’d ever really cared about.”

And then one day Kyle is taken away from her. Suddenly, unexpectedly, cruelly.

At Kyle’s funeral, Nell meets his older brother Colton, the black sheep in the family and their pain makes them connect. In their desperation, they share an illicit kiss but Nell is so overwhelmed by grief, loss, regret, sadness, that she pushes him out of her mind and out of her life.

“… it had felt too right, nestled in his arms. Too comforting. Too natural. Too much like home.”

Two years later, they accidentally meet again, in a new city, as two adults living away from their families and braving through life as well as they can. Colton has never forgotten the broken young woman who captured his heart at his brother’s funeral, whose pain was so palpable that he wanted nothing more than to take it away from her. The memory of their stolen kiss engraved itself in his soul, marking it and making their chance encounter something he has hoped for ever since she walked away from him that agonising day. It does not take very long for Colton to realise that Nell has never grieved her loss properly. She has bottled all her pain and guilt inside her, deep inside her, never allowing herself to confront her emotions, let them flow through her and excise them that way. She is a ticking bomb and Colton might be the only person in her life equipped to help her face those demons.

“There’s darkness in this girl, now. I almost don’t want to get involved. She’ll hurt me. I know this. I can see it, feel it coming. She’s got so much pain, so many cracks and shards in her soul, and I’m going to get cut by her if I’m not careful.”

There is nothing that I could say that would even come close to the intensity of what slowly develops between Nell and Colton. It’s a love story tainted by such unimaginable suffering, by despair from not knowing how to cope with it, by a hopeless tie to a past that should have been cut a long time ago. We feel every one of Nell’s unshed tears, we bleed with them and we desperately wish her to find the happiness she deserves. Colton walks into her life like a knight in shining armour, his own traumatic past being the only weapon that could help Nell.

“I will protect you. From others and from yourself. Always.”

They do not just give in to their mutual attraction, they take their time, thread carefully and sensibly, putting Nell’s emotional healing before anything else. She has had two years to allow her guilt to fester inside her and it has become an ugly monster who has the power to shatter her and make her feel worthless. On the other hand, Colton’s persistence and selfless love have the power to pull her out of her dark hole, and open her heart again. By helping her face her pain, Colton is forced to address his own as well, his past becoming the very tool he uses to help Nell.

“We understand each other, Nelly. We’ve both lost someone we love. We both have scars and regrets and anger. We can do this together.”

But when they finally succumb to the desire that has been building between them from the moment they laid eyes on each other, it is quite a sight! I’m pretty sure Jasinda Wilder might be responsible for some unexplained seismic activity that occurred the moment I read those scenes! She can write good hot lovin’ like nobody’s business!

“There’s no start, no stop, no him or me; there is only us, only perfection, only meshed souls and merged bodies and dizzy pleasure.”

The writing style is as original as it is effective. Events are narrated at a fast pace – bam, bam, bam – like little daggers stabbing our hearts with every fact that is shared. It holds us captive in the scenes, unable to think of anything else. This is a stunning, heartfelt love story, one that will stay with you for a long time after you finish it. I want to scream from the mountain-tops how much everyone should read this book. This is not an ordinary romance, it is an extraordinary tale of love healing all wounds, no matter how deep they are. An absolute must-read.

“I’m not just falling in love with you, Nell. I’m falling into you. You’re an ocean, and I’m falling in, drowning in the depths of who you are.”

~ N ♥

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[Farah · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 heart and Soul Wrenching Stars


This book BROKE ME!!
I haven't cried whilst reading a book in a long long time... This book had me sobbing at work! Mascara running Sobbing!
This was the most beautifully written book. A very emotional read, a book that will GUTT you but stay with you for a very long time...


Nell Hawthorne had a best friend name kyle Calloway.. Childhood. Friends turned into first loves... Great love.. Love that binds you together till the end...

Until the end is TOO SOON...
One stormy August night, Kyle died...

When the light in his eyes went out, the Fire in Nell's heart died.. And part of her died too.

Nell is Numb, she feels the accident was her fault.
She meets Colton, Kyles older brother at his funeral. Something about him helps with the pain...



Two years later she bumps into him in New York City, where she lives now...
They have this pull towards each other.. Like two broken souls drowning, wanting to be saved..

Nell has changed... She's broken, empty, sad, wounded.. Just living... But not ALIVE... burrowing the pain deep inside her, numbing herself of the pain, the guilt...to push it away...
She drinks, she cuts..



The pain reminds her of Kyle, afraid if she stops the hurt, she will forget him...



Colton understood her, he had his own type of pain.. He lived and is still living with his pain...
He helps Nell accept the pain, accept the hurt, how not to be okay and how to eventually Let it go..

"You need to let yourself feel. Feel it, own it. Then move on.”

Their broken souls bring them together, fighting their feelings for each other.. How can she love her dead boyfriends brother.. How can she feel more for him then Kyle...

"I’m thinking this is the best moment of my life. Honestly. I feel closer to you right now than anyone…ever. I’m thinking…I want to experience moments like this with you forever.”

I absolutely love Colten, he is weak, yet so strong, smart, sexy... And I Love him!

"I’m falling in love with you, Colton. I don’t know if it’s too soon to say that to you, but…it’s true. It’s scary, because I don’t know if everybody is going to understand, but I don’t care right now. I just have to say it to you, because—just because.”

They communicate with beautiful music... Feelings all spilled into songs..



"I’m not just falling in love with you, Nell. I’m falling into you. You’re an ocean, and I’m falling in, drowning in the depths of who you are. Like you said, it’s scary in a way, but it’s also the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced. You are the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced"



They still fighting against themselves, in their own ways, with their own ghosts... But together they can help each other.
They experience their own kind of loss together...

"But moments like this, with Colton? They make it all bearable. He doesn’t fix me, doesn’t heal me. He just makes life worthwhile. He helps me remember to breathe, shows me how to smile again. He kisses me, and I can forget pain, forget the urges I still have to cut for the pain that erases the emotions.



"I whisper the words that have come to almost replace I love you between us: “I’m falling into you.”

Everything happens for a reason, and Colton was brought into Nell's life for one.. Not to save her, but to bring her back to Life...

[Norah Una Sumner · Rating 1 out of 5]

It really could happen to anyone!

Jasinda Wilder did a great job of including those 3 "normal" scenes in this short book about sex... Wait, what do you mean there are other things in this book except for the sex scenes? Oh, now I remember... you must be talking about that underage illegal drinking scene that happened. No? Is it maybe the countless number of scenes in which the main character bites her lip? Not that one either? Then you must be talking about that scene in which we miraculously find out that the two main characters are exceptional singers whose voices are like a damn angel choir. What do you mean, it's not this one either? The only thing that's left is the fact that Colton is in a gang? Like, he calls his gang friends "homies"... I honestly get shivers just by imagining how dangerous this guy is.



To be honest, there's this particularly wonderful and touching scene in which Nell gives Colton a handjob while he sleeps, just a day after they saw each other again. Aww, I know, this one warms my heart too!

Overall, this is a really fantastic book - you will learn so many things from it. For example, how to wish that an already dead character dies again just because of how annoying he was during his life, or that after someone you love dies destructive behavior is, really, the only normal way for you. I know, I know, this one was a real tear-jerker!

[Smitten's Book Blog · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow wow, freakin' wow! Oh my life! That was amazing. Intense. Awesome. So inspiring!

I was asked to review this book by the author and I had no idea what I was letting myself in for. Well, actually, that's a lie... I absolutely adored Jasinda Wilder's Wounded, so I knew I liked her writing style and I knew she had the ability to strike a chord in me. But, still... I'm mega excited to say that Falling Into You met my expectations, exceeded them, and some!

"I can tell you what I see. I can tell you what I know about you. I can tell how I feel. I can show you what you really are. But arguing with you won't accomplish anything. I think we've both had our share of people trying to fix us. It doesn't work. We can only fix ourselves. Let ourselves heal."

And I am so ridiculously stoked that there is a Falling #2!!!

But don't worry, this doesn't end with an earth shattering cliffhanger. Don't get me wrong, this WILL shatter your earth! Into a million pieces, more than once. But ohmygod it is sooooo worth it. Colton is so worth it!

Moments like this, with Colton? They make it all bearable. He doesn't fix me, doesn't heal me. He just makes life worthwhile. He helps me remember to breathe.

This is a pure, no-holds-barred, snotty, all out ugly cry inducing book. I knew what was coming and it still killed me. Jasinda cuts you deep with this one. I have one name for you; Kyle!!

"I know most people would say we're just kids, or to young too know what love is. But screw that. I've known you my whole entire life. We have shared everything together."

Urgh, Kyle is perfect. He's gorgeous, he's smart, he's loving, he's her first. He's faultless... and you fall in love with him. AND THEN HE DIES!!!! OMG! And that is not a spoiler, because it's in the blurb, so I can say it. Shout it! Scream it because I was sooo angry! Even though I knew it was coming. It was unbearable.

"One breath at a time. One day at a time. Wake up, and be shredded. Cry for a while. Then stop crying and go about your day. You're not okay, but you're alive, and you will be okay, someday."

So, moving on from Kyle, literally, there's Nell... Nell is wonderful too. She's a sweet, innocent, happy young girl and her world comes crashing down on her when she loses her boyfriend, her best friend and the only person she has ever loved. She takes it badly. She struggles with some very very dark forms of release and her character becomes barely recognisable.

"It helps - "
"No it doesn't. It just pushes it away temporarily. Just like the booze."
"But I need - "
"You need to let yourself feel. Feel it, own it. Then move on."

So this brings me to Colton! Wooo, 'yay' for Colton, because he is our hero! And what a hero he is. He has all the mandatory qualifications to be your next favourite book boyf'; Tortured past. Uh huh! Muscles covered in ink? Oh yeh! Firey temper and the need to protect damsels in distress? Ding! *drool*

"They're in your fucking skin, in your soul, like the essence of who they are is imprinted on you so completely they are the very air you breathe, like each molecule of who you are is tangled together. That's love."

He saves Nell. Well, they help to save one another. Both consumed by their pain, they find solace in each other and learn to deal, together. It's beautifully tragic, but beautiful, all the same.

She'll hurt me. I know this. I can see it, feel it coming. She's got so much pain, so many cracks and shards and jags in her soul, and I'm going to get cut by her if I'm not careful.

And then, if the emotion and the heartbreak and the hotness isn't enough... there's the sex! *fans self* Oooooh my! This is one steamy ass book!

Do you think I've gushed enough yet? You all neeeeed to read this book. It's a matter of urgency. Well, unless you're not one for a good cry, then absolutely don't read it! :/ BUT, if you don't mind shedding a whole bucket of tears, dive in.

"How do you compete with a ghost, Colton?" I whisper the question into a long silence.
He shrugs. "I don't know. You don't. You just understand that there's a part of you that you can't give away, because it belongs to a dead person. I don't know."

I can not wait for #2!!! I just... ah... I need it, like, now. I hope I don't have to wait too long. I'm going to go and have a cup of tea now.

"I'm not just falling in love with you, Nell. I'm falling into you. You're an ocean, and I'm falling in, drowning in the depths of who you are."

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[Vikki ~ *squee* lite ~ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. Almost perfect.

This was a beautiful story of love, loss, guilt, sacrifice, and healing.



Best friends, then lovers, Kyle and Nell were a match everyone saw coming.

I loved Kyle and Nell's relationship. It was so real. They were just kids, only 16, just discovering what love and lust really meant. Kyle was so sweet, and romantic, but this wasn't an idealized version first love, it was all very real.

"I know we are young. . . . . And I know most people would say we're just kids, or too young to know what love is. But screw that. I've know you my whole life. We have shared everything together. Every important thing in our lives has happened together. . . . And now we're learning how to fall in love together. I don't care what any one else says. I love you. I'll always love you, not matter what happens with us in the future. I love you now and forever. "



Then just two years later, tragedy takes Kyle from Nell, leaving her in the depths of despair, unable to come to terms with her grief, and guilt.

"I wanted nothing more than to climb into the box with him and quit breathing, find him in whatever came after life. "



Years later, Nell encounters Colton, Kyle's older brother. He can see she is still stuck inside her grief. He has his own demons, his own pain, and he wants to help her release the pain.

"There's darkness in this girl now. I almost don't want to get involved. She'll hurt me. I know this. I can see it, feel it coming. She's got so much pain, so many cracks and shards and jags in her soul, and I'm going to get cut by her if I'm not careful. . . . I also know I'm not going to stay way. I'm going to grab onto her and let myself get cut. I'm good at pain. I'm good at bleeding, emotionally, and physically. "



I loved Colton. At first I wasn't sure if he might be too broken to help Nelly, but in reality, he was incredibly strong. They were beautiful together. Perfect broken pieces that somehow made a whole. Oh, and the chemistry, it was amazing.



"I'm not falling in love with you, Nell. I'm falling into you. You're an ocean, and I'm falling in, drowning in the depths of who you are."

My only complaint is that I wish I had just a little bit more. Just a little more of their HEA. They deserve an epic HEA, and I felt just a little bit cheated.

Colton's song to their lost child killed me. Seriously, broke me. Having felt that kind of loss, it was the most beautiful, and painful words I've ever read.

"You've never had a name.
You've never had a face.
A thousand breaths you'll never take echo in my mind,
My child, child, child.
The questions blink like stars,
Numberless I the night sky.
Did you dream?
Did you have a soul?
Who could you have been?
You've never known my arms,
You've never known you mothers's arms,
My child, child child.
I"ll dream for you,
I'll breathe for you,
I'll question God for you,
I'll shake my fists and scream and cry for you.
This song is for you,
It's all I've got.
It doesn't give you a name.
It doesn't give you a face.
But it's all I've got to give.
All my love is i these words I sing,
In each haunted not from my guitar,
My child, child child.
You're not gone,
Because you never were.
But that doesn't mean you're forgotten,
Unborn child, child, child.
I bury you
With this song.
I mourn you
With this song."

[Wendy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I rarely do this. In fact I've only ever given 2 other books my star rating, but this will be the third for me.

Author provided ARC copy for an honest review.




I am completely by this book!

Every emotion I've ever felt was brought forth and it was beyond welcome!

Nell and Kyle's story from the beginning was this beautiful portrayal of young love and all the firsts that people experience.



And then,


Two years, a proposal and a fallen tree are the end of one chapter in Nell's life and the beginning of something altogether more.


All tragic events have a way of making us to feelings and life in general. Nell was blind to any emotion other than pain for so long after her loss.



Enter Colton and Nell's life is in for an unexpected change.


"I'm not just falling in love with you, Nell. I'm falling into you. You're an ocean, and I'm falling in, drowning in the depths of who you are" ~Colton
This has to be by far one of the most touching lines I've EVER read in any book. Absolutely beautiful!

I can't get over the pull that Falling Into You has on me. I'm in serious book hangover from this and I'm not sure if I even care if it passes anytime soon.


I absolutely fucking love this book!!!


My cast:


Colton


Nell


Kyle


I wish I had more words to describe the way that this book has touched me. If you only read one book this year, let it be this one, Falling Into You by the AH-MAZE-BALLS Jasinda Wilder

[Kelena · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Better crazy than broken.” I wasn’t sure where that came from, hadn’t thought it or meant to say it.
“You’re not broken. You’re hurting.”


Falling Into You is a beautiful story about a golden son and the troubled son and the girl who wound up loving them both. Circumstance brought them together in different times, one in happy times, the other, in broken times.

Nell Hawthorne


Kyle Calloway


Kyle and Nell grew up together. Best friends since birth. Once Nell turns 16 and is allowed to start dating, Kyle makes his move. These two have the most beautiful, sweet, and innocent relationship. They have loved each other their entire lives… first as friends, then as lovers.


Once they graduate from high school, Kyle and Nell start making plans for their future, until tragedy strikes and Kyle is killed while saving Nell’s life.

That scene was a hard one for me as I could have had a similar outcome in my family with my middle child. Hubs, thank God, hubs heard the crack and screamed bloody murder at our son to move.....and he did.

"Guilt consumes Nell for years. The pain of losing Kyle is too much to bare. Nell was on a downward spiral consumed by grief and suffocated by depression".

Enter Colton , Kyle’s older brother.

Colton has a deep soul that has seen much, taken part in a gangster’s life, done bad things.

You will love Colton. The more his story unfolds, the more your heart will open up to this tattooed, guitar playing, singing guy. He will slowly seep into your veins. Taking up residence. He has such a way with words.

Nell and Colton haven’t seen each other since Kyle’s funeral where they experienced some sort of unspoken bond – until they are reunited by chance on the streets of New York City.

“I wasn’t always in love with Colton Calloway; I was in love with his younger brother, Kyle, first. Kyle was my first one true love, my first in every way.
Then, one stormy August night, he died, and the person I was died with him.

♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥
Nell and Colton relationship blossoms even under complicated circumstances. Colton teaches Nell that it’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel.


He helps her breathe again. He helps her let go of her past heartache and find love and passion like she has never experienced.


Colton and Nell are two of the most captivating characters, they had me from beginning to end. I loved them individually and together. This book also brings to the forefront coping mechanisms that many people employ in real life. Is it hard to read? Yes, but as I said this book isn’t all heartache. It is also hopeful in many ways. Healing occurs through love and acceptance.

I hold her. I don’t tell her it’s okay.
“Be mad,” I say. “Be hurt. Be broken. Cry.”

Realizing that you aren’t alone in depression and destructive behavior may be the first step needed to truly move on. Accepting the truth that they both deserve happiness and love doesn’t come easy to this couple, but it’s beyond beautiful when they do.

"Colton didn’t teach me how to live. He didn’t heal the pain. He didn’t make it okay. He taught me how to hurt, how to not be okay, and, eventually, how to let go."

You’re okay, now.
You’re okay, now.
Don’t cry anymore, dry your eyes.
Roll the pain away, put it down on the ground and leave it for the birds.
Suffer no more, lost child.
Stand and take the road, move on and seal the hurt behind the miles.
It’s not alright, it’s not okay.
I know, I know.
The night is long, it’s dark and cruel.
I know, I know.
You’re not alone. You’re not alone.

I was emotional right through until the end. I didn't smile as anything I read, I didn't laugh... it was just gloom all around and across every page and seriously... I'm feeling drained right now. But still... I was hooked right in.

Colton is patient. He has his own life he has survived. He is a medicine that Nell needs, but like all medicines, we don’t like taking it. But it will make us feel better.

He lets Nell be herself ,at the same time he coaxes her into talking about her pain, he in return shares about himself. I loved these parts, the more Colton talked about himself the more I loved him.

"But Colton is ... I’m safe with him. He draws the truth out of me. He draws the pain out of me. Colton knows pain. He’s intimately familiar with it. Lives with it. Guilt too."


I need to know what’s driving this girl. What’s devouring her.
“Tell me.” I whisper the words to her, rough and raw in the unlit bathroom, gray dawn filtering through dirty glass.

“He’s dead.”

“That’s not enough.”

“It’s everything.”

♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥

It’s both heartbreaking and hopeful. Two damaged souls that meet under the most horrifying circumstance and share a connection, but don’t act on it. When they meet again thinking neither of them deserve love or happiness the story just gets better and I couldn’t stop reading it.

“I’m not just falling in love with you, Nell. I’m falling into you. You’re an ocean, and I’m falling in, drowning in the depths of who you are. Like you said, it’s scary in a way, but it’s also the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced. You are the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced.”

"He’s raw and rough and kind and smart and nearly illiterate
but so brilliant and so talented and so fucking hot it’s absurd and he’s mine."



♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥♫♥
Music played a big part in this book as well. It gave a voice to the pain. A voice to the emotions that were bottled up deep inside. The songs really got to me and I cried while reading almost every one.

This book is not rainbows and butterflies. It is not your typical love story. It is dark, emotional and deep. It is not only tragic and completely heartbreaking, but it is also filled with hope and love. Hope that you can find the strength to move on after a devastating loss and learn to love again

[Jacqueline's Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

NOW FREEEE - http://amzn.to/1Erifzt and AUDIO is $1.99

5 Stars!!!!!!

I’m not just falling in love with you, Nell.

I’m falling into you.



Falling Into You is a Fabulous. Fantastic. Swoon-Worthy. Emotional. Incredible. READ!!!

I want to kick myself in the butt for waiting so long before I picked up this book. One of the reasons why I waited so long was because I wasn’t a fan of the blurb. Even though lately I have been liking depressing reads, I just didn’t want to get into the whole brother-death thing, but Falling Into You was JUST.SO.MUCH.MORE.

[Summary/Blurb]

The summary is basically everything you needed to know and after finishing my read, I realized how perfect the blurb was. Nell fell in love with her best-friend, Kyle and then one day he dies. Nell is having a hard time grasping Kyle’s death. Kyle has an older brother, Colton, who Nell hasn’t really interacted with since Colton moved away years ago. Because of similar pains, Colton helps Nell heal her wounds.

[My review]

Falling Into You was perfectly written. I really loved the writing style because Jasinda Wilder wrote in chronological order and there was ZERO FLASHBACKS. I can’t STRESS how much I love that. Because Wilder wrote it in chronological order, I really did get to understand Klye’s and Nell’s relationship.

A lot of times when you read a book where the Heroine has to deal with a past pain, it’s usually a big mystery and when you do find out what it is, you can’t really empathize because you as the reader ,didn’t get a chance to feel what the Heroine is feeling. However,I.FELT.NELL’s.PAIN to the fullest.

[Disclaimer]

Many readers don’t want to read a book where a guy dies, I get it, but Falling Into You isn’t just about that. Yes, you do like Kyle and yes, it’s sad, but you are so consumed with the story, his death is just a side note. I hope that makes sense, because I don’t want Kyle’s death to be a deterrent to why people don’t pick up this book.

[Nell]

I 100% LOVED Nell. She is beautifully damaged and a perfect Heroine in my opinion. I get her, I understand her, and like I said, I feel for her. Wilder paints a wonderful, yet broken picture of Nell and you see her starting out as this young teenager and slowly growing into a woman but still trying to figure out what to do with herself.

There’s darkness in this girl, now. I almost don’t want to get involved. She’ll hurt me. I know this. I can see it, feel it coming. She’s got so much pain, so many cracks and shards and jags in her soul, and I’m going to get cut by her if I’m not careful.


[Colton]

I 100% LOVE Colton, yep, he’s up there in my book boyfriends, next to the Travis, next to the Christian and next to the Gideon. Yes, bring on the tattoos, bulky built, dominate, ruff-around-the-edges, scruffy, alpha male PLEASE! In the beginning you don’t really get a clear picture of who Colton is, but slowly as his character develops, you form an attachment to him and yes, fall in love with him.

Taking a moment to **SWOON**

[My version of Colton]



I don’t deserve her, but I’m an asshole, a selfish bastard, so I take what I can get from her, and try to make sure I give her the best I’ve got.

[Overall]

Falling Into You is written from both Colton’s and Nell’s POV. The read is very fast pace and at times I wonder if it could have been a little longer, but overall, I think the length and tone was just right for me. There’s plenty of character development and a lot of emotional baggage that comes out. If you aren’t into emotional books then this isn’t for you.

There were no annoying points and almost everything that needed to be said was said at the right time. Overall the dance between tension and emotional revealing was (and I’ll say it again) perfect. The book is pretty steamy, but it doesn’t take away from the story, in all honestly it enhances it.

Compassion and pity are not the same: pity is looking down on someone, feeling sorry for them and offering nothing; compassion is seeing their pain and offering them understanding.

I’ve never dealt with the loss of anyone that close to me, but Nell’s and Colton’s emotions seem very realistic. I simply couldn’t put the book down.

I loved Falling Into You, it’s a type of read where I’ll definitely read again (I kind of wanted to after I just finished it). I recommend this book for those who like emotional, yet moving stories that will make you appreciate life.

AMAZON

For more reviews, visit http://jacquelinesreads.blogspot.com/

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

"I'm not just falling in love with you, Nell. I'm falling into you. You're an ocean, and I'm falling in, drowning in the depths of who you are. Like you said, it's scary in a way, but it's also the most amazing thing I've ever experienced. You are the most amazing thing I've ever experienced."

Damn, I love this book! Not like in a "it's really great" or "I was pleasantly surprised" kind of way. No, I love this book! Colt and Nell are both hurting, scarred and in need of a safe haven. The simple fact that these characters were there for each other and became the other's safe place, combined with the scorching heat, made my heart do a little happy dance. There's nothing mundane about this story. There's BIG feelings and BIG love and I wouldn't want it any other way.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

*ARC given to blog for honest review*

5+++ “Oh god, oh god…ohmigod” Kisses! One of the best books I’ve read this year and a new addition to my favorite books of all time.

Gutted. Floored. Emotionally wrung dry. And ya know what? I’d read it all over again in a heartbeat. How does an author literally break my heart and I can sit here and say I loved every second of it? Because it was one of the most beautifully written books I have ever read.

Falling Into You topped the charts for me – you can’t read the synopsis and not know what you’re getting yourself into. You’re signing up to have a nice long ugly cry. It happens. We fall in love with characters, it’s impossible not to – and anyone that says they didn’t fall in love with Kyle is a crazy person.

Nell Hawthorne & Kyle Calloway are best friends, born two days apart, grew up just down the street from each other, they’ve been inseparable since birth. It’s presumed, but not assumed, that they would eventually have a romantic relationship, but at 16 they finally figure it out…and that’s where the magic begins. New love…first love…first everything, it’s the stuff that makes your heart flutter, and mine did with Nell and Kyle.

“Kyle was my first one true love, my first in every way.”



Fast forward two years, Nell & Kyle are 18, about to graduate high school and making some huge decisions…trying to figure out what they want while still keeping their relationship intact, everything is changing so it’s either adapt and grow with it or lose something precious. Unfortunately something precious is lost but it’s not due to their choices. **Be Prepared – it’s not will you ugly cry, it’s how long will you ugly cry**



“It wasn’t a tear. I wouldn’t cry. Couldn’t. To let it go would be to open my soul. It would never stop. I would break…just shatter. The liquid on my cheek was blood, surging out from my ripped and tattered heart.”

It’s very conflicting to love and hate the fact that you are crying…but I did. I hated what was happening, I hated the loss of Kyle, I hated every tortuous second but the writing was beautiful. Gorgeous. Flawless. I felt every emotion from Nell…it hurt like HELL but just writing about it now and recalling what happened makes me cry!



Enter Colton Calloway, Kyle’s older brother, at the funeral…Nell knows of him but doesn’t really know him…they have some moments, once again the pain is palpable – because they are both hurting so much. Nell prefers the physical pain to the emotional pain, she feels unworthy that she is still alive while Kyle isn’t. There is a break of two years and they reconnect…by chance. It doesn’t end there…there’s a pull and a draw coming from both of them – as much as they want to ignore it, they don’t…they can’t.

“You’re a lot of things, Nell Hawthorne. You’re complex. You’re cute. You’re lovely. You’re funny. You’re strong. You’re beautiful.” She seems to be struggling with words and emotions. I keep going. “You’re tortured. You’re hurting. You’re amazing. You’re talented. You’re sexy as fuck.”

More conflicting emotions because after all their pain, there is a chance for them to be happy, and with probably the only other person on the planet that can truly understand the pain that you’re experiencing. But those ghosts don’t go away and the opportunity for joy almost never happens…but thank God, it does. They deal with it together, cope together, heal together.

“I can tell you what I see. I can tell you what I know about you. I can tell you how I feel. I can’t show you what you really are. But arguing with you won’t accomplish anything. I think we’ve both had our share of people trying to fix us. It doesn’t work. We can only fix ourselves. Let ourselves heal.”



I loved Nell & Kyle, a lot, don’t get me wrong…but Nell and Colton together were amazing . Even thru their poor shattered broken hearts, seeing them learn to love again, watching both of them open up, more emotions, ugh – and there I go with the tears again. They made my heart flutter, my pulse race, and brought peace to my soul because I needed them to be whole again. And in the end…I got what I needed.



The book is mainly from Nell’s perspective, but we did get a few chapters from Colton…I liked the alternating POV’s, sometimes it’s nice to know everything the characters or thinking but being let in their thoughts in some places and not in others kept things interesting. And the way she split it up and always let you know whose brain you were in was really clear and concise.

This book was above and beyond an insane…intense….


It blew my mind, shattered my expectations and just absolutely floored me. Drop whatever you are reading and read Falling Into You ASAP!

[• Lisa • · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 soul bearing, heart breaking stars.

"I'm not just falling in love with you, Nell. I'm falling into you. You're an ocean, and I'm falling in, drowning in the depths of who you are."

Jasinda Wilder, knows how to write emotion - gritty, sad, heart achingly moving emotion. I was glued to the pages, I could not put this story down, this was an unforgettable reading experience. This book should come with a warning ~ or free tissues! There was lots of Lisa tears. I was a big, messy pile of girly emotion most of the way through this story ... So be prepared.

The author weaves a mixture of Light and dark, Love and hate, Pain and joy, Past and future, Suffering and healing. All put together in a gorgeously written, relatively short book.

From the beginning the reader is thrown into the gorgeous first love of Nell and Kyle ~ a beautiful friendship that grows into true soul mate love, it was moving and realistic. I was sold straight away I was instantly swept up in the story, then boom heartache, grief, bereavement ~ intense and dark. The story then follows the lives of Colton and Nell ~ The Journey of Nell grieving her past to take hold of her future. Colton comes like a breath of fresh air, and although I didn't think it possible I fell in love all over again.

Their is a depth to this story that is sincere. Undoubtably I fell in love with this story and the characters. Although this book is by no means easy ~ if angst, heartache and love is your thing, then don't delay.

"I walked the steps to her apartment with the window by the shore
And saw her curled on the tile through a crack in the door
I've been searching for the words I don't know how to say
I've been searching for the words to make it go away
I spent all of last night and the night before that
With my feet in the sand and the wind on my back
Watching a ship sail out to a blue wide sea
There must be more than this with a kiss we can't see" ~ 'can't break her fall' Matt Kearney

5 Nelly and Colton stars ...

[Tammy · Rating 5 out of 5]

6 Stars

"I wasn't always in love with Colton Calloway; I was in love with his younger brother, Kyle, first."

Um, wow! I am a bit speechless right now. I did not read the blurb for this book. Jasinda asked Kim and I to read and review, the cover looked awesome so I said ok and just dived right in. Glad I had no clue what the book was about because at about 26% Jasinda rocked my world and handed me my shredded heart on a silver platter. If I had known what I knew at that point beforehand I don’t think I would have had the same reaction or connection to Kyle. I loved that I was so clueless. I loved that my heart dived to my stomach and my eyes filled with big fat tears that just kept right on pouring through half the book and then some. Falling into You was filled with a roller coaster of emotions, including angst, love, fear, pain, guilt, and a glimmer of hope.

I adored Nell and Kyle together. I loved that they had been best friends since they were wee tots. Their love was strong and it was a true love, well as true as it could be at 16-18 years old. I found myself smiling over the romantic things Kyle said and did. I was completely and utterly invested in them. Then out of nowhere, Nell’s world turned upside down and fell out from beneath her and so did mine. I hurt with her. My heart shattered into pieces for her and Kyle. I felt as broken as Nell did. I wondered how the author was going to pull off her healing, how she would help her move forward past the grief, the pain, the guilt, the loneliness.

“It wasn’t a tear. I wouldn’t cry. Couldn’t. To let it go would be to open my soul. It would never stop. I would break…just shatter. The liquid on my cheek was blood, surging out from my ripped and tattered heart.”

Enter Colton Calloway. Colt was perfection wrapped up in his own pain, his own loss. He had walls wrapped so high around his heart, allowing no one in until Nell. Colt lived the life of a bad boy until a few tragedies struck and he found his self-navigating the “straight and narrow.” He no longer wanted a life that offered him nothing but destruction. Colt understood the pain and the guilt that riddled Nell. He pushed her, but not so hard that he couldn’t catch her when she fell. My heart ached so many times for this misguided man who showed tremendous loyalty, protectiveness, and vulnerability. His choices were not always smart, but they shaped him into the man who will stand strong next to Nell offering her the strength and love she will need to move forward.

“But Colton is…I’m safe with him. He draws the truth out of me. He draws the pain out of me. Colton knows pain. He’s intimately familiar with it. Lives with it. Guilt too. Colton has secrets, and I want to know them all.”

I was blown away by Colton and his determination to love Nell while helping her face current day reality. Although, he moved slow he didn’t enable her, in addition, he also didn't allow her to continue on a destructive path. Colt helped find the courage to search within herself to find the forgiveness she needed from herself in order to move past the guilt she had been holding on to for years. Their relationship was so hard to read at some points. The pain just radiated off the page, it was raw and intense. The need they felt for each other was agonizing and all-consuming at times. Their chemistry was off the charts, and scared the living day lights out of Nell, making her doubt everything she knew with Kyle. Colt and Nell struggled, emotionally and mentally she was a train wreck, but he stood next to her side through it all. Each felt their own brand of guilt as they journeyed through the pain.

“Feel. Grieve. Let yourself feel all the anger at the fact that he was taken from you. Feel the loss of him. Feel the sadness and the missing him. Don’t block it out, don’t cut so it stops, don’t drink yourself numb. Just sit and let it rip you apart. And then get up and keep breathing. One breath at a time. One day at a time. Wake up, and be shredded. Cry for a while. Then stop crying and go about your day. You’re not ok, but you’re alive, and you will be ok, someday.”

“We understand each other, Nelly. We’ve both have scars and regrets and anger. We can do this together.”

This is my first read by Jasinda Wilder, and boy did she wreck my world while slowly placing it all back together piece by piece. This was a story of how light can shine through the bitter darkness and offer a second chance at life. I really enjoyed her writing style, her characters and story line were so well developed. I will definitely search out more reads by her. I also enjoyed the alternating point of views, it helped keep me well invested in them and their outcome. I highly recommend this book and author!

Thank you to Jasinda Wilder for the opportunity to take this wild ride with Nell and Colton. Author provided an ARC of Falling into You in exchange for an honest review.

[Elise ✘ a.k.a Ryder's Pet ✘ · Rating 2 out of 5]

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*I didn't like it*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

The book centers around Nell ‘Nelly’ Hawthorne (16, 18, then 20), Colton ‘Colt’ Calloway (23, then 25) and Kyle Calloway (16, then 18). Though Colt appears after Kyle's death. Nell grew up next to the Calloways. She and Kyle were the same age, their moms having given birth to them in the same hospital, two rooms apart, two days apart. Kyle was the older one, much to Nell's irritation. Always kinda assumed that she and Kyle would get together, they decided to do it and both became each others first love. Unfortunately, Nell was Kyle's only loves as he dies in a horrible accident. Nell and Colt meets at the funeral, but the timing wasn't right. Two years later they meet, and Colt practically forces Nell to feel. Colt has lived in New York he was seventeen, been on his own. He knows pain as he knows how to breath, so if anyone can help Nell, it's him.

“All we can do is try, do our best. Give as much time as we have to give, one day at a time. One breath at a time.”

Overall, I was majorly disappointed in this book. I didn't like the story, nor did I like the writing or the characters. Colt had some potential to be a great character, but Nell? Hell no. I didn't like her at all. All she did was run and hide. I understand loss, believe me, I do. I lost my brother, so I understand, but her way... I just couldn't relate, which made it impossible to connect with her. Also, it went to fast between Nell and Colt. I felt like, deep down they didn't really know each other except each others pain. The plot and story just didn't work for me. Sure, it had its sad moment where I got teary (twice, I believe), but that was it for me. Typical of me not to like what others liked. Hell they loved it.

“I’m not just falling in love with you, Nell. I’m falling into you. You’re an ocean, and I’m falling in, drowning in the depths of who you are. Like you said, it’s scary in a way, but it’s also the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced. You are the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced.”

The Parts & Timeline:
Part 1 - Nell POV
— Nell and Kyle has been BFF since forever (really), and starts dating at 16. 2 years later they are still going strong. Both 18 then. 26% into the book, Kyle dies. Part 1 ends at 35% right after Kyle's funeral.
Part 2 - Colton and Nell POVs
— Starts at 26% to years later after Kyle's death. Nell is now 20 years old. Colton 25. Timeline is about less than three months? Ends at 88%.
Part Three - Colton and Nell POVs
— Starts at 89% into the book, two days after part 2.

“It’s not the same. Causing you pain doesn’t help mine.”

The Couples:
♥ Nell and Kyle
— First loves. Friends to lover. Had two years together as a couple before the horrible death of Kyle.
♥ Nell and Colton
— Healing couple. Equal pain. Second chance at love for each of them.

There’s darkness in this girl, now. I almost don’t want to get involved. She’ll hurt me. I know this. I can see it, feel it coming. She’s got so much pain, so many cracks and shards and jags in her soul, and I’m going to get cut by her if I’m not careful.

Other characters:
↦ Jason Dorsey, Kyle's best friend.
Becca, Nell's best friend before Kyle's death.
Olivia Calloway, Kyle and Colton's mother. Their father is a Congressman.
Jim Hawthorne, Rachel Hawthorne, Nell's parents. Jim is the CEO, the über-successful businessman.
Kelly, a friend of Colt. Owns a bar.
Split, a friend of Colt. From the hood, a OG? Five-One Bishops gang, which he and another (dead) guy created.

“Feel. Grieve. Let yourself feel all the anger at the fact that he was taken from you. Feel the loss of him. Feel the sadness and the missing him. Don’t block it out, don’t cut so it so stops, don’t drink yourself numb. Just sit and let it all rip you apart. And then get up and keep breathing. One breath at a time. One day at a time. Wake up, and be shredded. Cry for a while. Then stop crying and go about your day. You’re not okay, but you’re alive, and you will be okay, someday.”

Quick basic facts:
Genre: - (New Adult) Contemorary Romance.
Series: - Series, Book One.
Love triangle? - No.
Cheating? - No.
HEA? - Not really.
Favorite character? - Colton ‘Colt’ Calloway.
Would I read more by this author/or of series? - Not really.
Would I recommend this book/series? - Not really.
Will I read this again in the future? - No.
Rating - 1.5/2 stars.

[Syndi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a beautiful and heart breaking story about loss and let go. The journey of Nell to mourn and grief for Kyle is really depressing.

After she met Colton, her journey to accept and let go is endearing. With some music reference and Colton's strong and sweet encourgement, I am happy to see Nell finally let go of her past.

The chemistry between Nell and Colton is a bit rush. I want to see Nell to push Colton more before she finally falled into his charm.

The twist at the ending is not necessary.

4 stars

[Dilek VT · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wasn't always in love with Colton Calloway; I was in love with his younger brother, Kyle, first.

This is a tough book to read. Beautiful, nevertheless...

Nell and Kyle are best friends. Then, they fall in love with each other when they are 16.



First true love. First everything…



I know we’re young. And I know most people would say we’re just kids, or to young too know what love is. But screw that. I’ve known you my whole entire life. We have shared everything together. Every important thing in our lives has happened together. And now we’re learning how to fall in love together.

Everything seems to be perfect between these two teenagers, until Kyle dies in a tragic accident when he is 18, leaving Nell feeling guilty and broken.

Kyle’s brother Colton was away for many years. He loved a girl, India, very much but he lost her too. He is a suffering man, as well.

Colton and Nell meet in Kyle’s funeral after a lot many years. There is a strange spark between the two of them. They feel it but both are too broken to do anything about it so 2 years pass without contact.

After 2 years, fate somehow brings them together again. They get closer and closer slowly and still don’t know what to do with the strong attraction between them. They are attracted to one another but they are also haunted by past ghosts.

Colton sees that Nell has never let herself grieve for the loss of Kyle because she is afraid of being shredded into pieces. Therefore, she doesn’t live much, she just exists. She replaces pain with pain, by physically hurting herself.

I notice her hands are clutched around the opposing wrists, nails digging in deep, hard, scratching. Pain to replace pain.

***

“You need to let yourself feel. Feel it, own it. Then move on.”

FALLING INTO YOU starts with the story of Kyle and Nell and continues with the story of Colton and Nell. Because Kyle and Colton were brothers, that was a hard pill to swallow for me as well as for the two of them.

He wants me, but won’t give in to it. Which I get, I really do.
He’s my dead boyfriend’s brother.
It’s just…wrong.
How did you two meet?
Oh, we met at his brother’s funeral. His baby brother, my first love.
Awesome.

***

And I know he wants this as much as I do, and we’re both conflicted about it.

***

I search his eyes, and see my emotions reflected back at me: conflicted desire.




I struggled as they struggled but the writer gives that period of feeling guilty and contradicted in a very realistic way. Nothing happens too fast. It happens gradually. Of course, I would have preferred Colton not to be related to Kyle, but, alas, he was. Despite this great disadvantage, he was exactly the person Nell needed. That is why, in spite of their ghosts, they tried to stick together, helping each other to heal and feel again.



I’m safe with him. He draws the truth out of me. He draws the pain out of me. Colton knows pain. He’s intimately familiar with it. Lives with it. Guilt too. Colton has secrets, and I want to know them all.

It is a painfully beautiful story. Their falling into each other and finding peace and moments of happiness within each other's company was worth reading.

“Look at me, Nell,” he commands, softly but firmly. I do. His eyes are hooded and serious. “Turning point, right here. You don’t want this, you have to tell me now. Get up and go. This’ll all be forgotten. I’ll be your friend. But say so now. ‘Cause any further, we’re in it all the way.”

***

“How do you compete with a ghost, Colton?” I whisper the question into a long silence.
He shrugs. “I don’t know. You don’t. You just understand that there’s a part of you that you can’t give away, because it belongs to a dead person. I don’t know.”
“Can we do this? You and me? You with your ghost of India, me with mine of Kyle?”
He takes my hands, rubs my knuckles with his thumbs. “All we can do is try, do our best. Give as much as we have to give, one day at a time. One breath at a time... If we want to live, to not be half-ghosts ourselves, stuck loving the memory of someone who’s gone, then we have to try. We understand each other, Nelly. We’ve both lost someone we love. We both have scars and regrets and anger. We can do this together.”

***

“I’m not just falling in love with you, Nell. I’m falling into you. You’re an ocean, and I’m falling in, drowning in the depths of who you are. Like you said, it’s scary in a way, but it’s also the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced. You are the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced.”

***

There’s no magical healing in this. I won’t wake up tomorrow fixed and joyful. I’ll still hurt and grieve. But moments like this, with Colton? They make it all bearable. He doesn’t fix me, doesn’t heal me. He just makes life worthwhile.

The book is told by dual point of view, both by Nell and Colton. Kyle is never the story teller. The book is emotional, scorching hot and at times, painful. There is death, murder and attempt of rape.



And the songs... oh the songs Colton sang added so much beauty to the book.

You’re not alone.
You are loved.
You are held.
Quiet your crying voice, lost child.
You’re okay, now. You’re okay, now.

Just hold on, one more day.
Just hold on, one more hour.
Someone will come for you.
Someone will hold you close.

I know, I know. It’s not okay,
It’s not alright.
But if you just hold on,
One more day, one more hour.
It will be.
It will be.

[Tessamari ♥Many Waters...♥ ~ Sweet Spot Book Blog · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.75 Stars

Fermented grief is far more potent.

HOLY SHIT! Man, this was just what I needed. I was so emotionally invested in Nell’s story, that I could not put this down and easily read this in one sitting. It’s emotional stories like this that make reading so much fun. Fuck. I was a blubbering mess by a third of the way through. It’s not really spoiler-ish considering you know someone important is going to die. I knew I was going to be a hot mess, but waiting for the axe to fall was excruciating. Be warned: You will cry. I did. Seriously. How can you move on from a loss like that?

This was such a unique story simply because I fell in love with the first Hero, Kyle, only to have him taken away like that…well, it broke my heart into a million pieces, I’ll tell you that much. Our main Hero, Colton, had a lot to live up to. How can you replace such a character as Kyle? Just like Nell, I found myself reluctantly drawn to Colton. In a way, it felt wrong to move on, but you honest to God, couldn't help it. I was so torn.

“I find myself forgetting him. I see him dying over and over, but I can’t remember what he smelled like. What his arms felt like holding me. What sex with him felt like. What kissing him felt like. I can’t remember him. I can’t remember him. And I wonder sometimes if I ever really loved him. If it was just teenage infatuation. Thinking I loved him because he was my first. Because we’d fucked. I don’t know. I don’t remember. And now there’s you, and you’re…better than he was. Stronger. You turn me on in a way I don’t remember with him. You make me feel things he never did. The way you kiss me, it’s better than I remember his kisses being. When you made me come, I realized I’d never felt anything like it, ever. Ever.”

Nell & Kyle
After the first few pages of the book, I was HOOKED on Kyle. He was so sweet and so sexy. He and Nell have been best friends since, like, forever. They’re the same age, born only two days apart. Together they learned to ride bikes, did homework, studied and just grew up together. They were thick as thieves and it was assumed that sooner or later they would end up together. Of course both were reluctant to try anything more until one day another boy asked Nell out, and Kyle flipped. Something was about to change between them, and let me tell you, their first kiss: So sweet and so amazing. As in the other firsts they will inevitably have: Exciting, thrilling and HOT. I loved where these two were headed. However, you knew something awful was coming and waiting for that axe to fall was torturous. And when it did fall, I was a just as heartbroken as Nell. It was a horrible feeling. No wonder Nell ended up a fucked up mess. Could she ever get over first love? Could I?

But Colton is…I’m safe with him. He draws the truth out of me. He draws the pain out of me. Colton knows pain. He’s intimately familiar with it. Lives with it. Guilt, too.

Nell & Colton
After falling hard for Kyle, part of me wondered how this author was going to proceed in making me fall for Colton. He had HUGE shoes to fill. Amazingly enough, I slowly fell for him. He left his home at only eighteen, moving to New York. Colton didn’t really become a prevalent character until the day of Kyle’s funeral. Nell and he were practically strangers, but for some reason, while mourning Kyle, they found a small sense of solace with each other, even sharing an illicit kiss. It wasn’t until two years later that fate intervened once more and threw Colton and Nell back together.

“I’m not just falling in love with you, Nell. I’m falling into you. You’re an ocean, and I’m falling in, drowning in the depths of who you are. Like you said, it’s scary in a way, but it’s also the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced. You are the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced.”

Le Sigh. They’re both damaged. Nell has never fully healed from losing Kyle. As for Colton, well, we find out there’s a reason for why Colton left home at eighteen, broke and alone in the big city of New York. His story was far more than I expected. He suffered so much since moving out. He is such an amazing character and I can easily say that he is one of those unforgettable Heroes: Beautiful, protective, possessive, and oh so sweet. I Love Colton. All my doubts about loving him as much as Kyle, were shattered once I got to truly know him.

“God, fuck me. Don’t do that,” he says, his voice ragged.
I’m puzzled. “Do what?”
“Bite your lip. It drives me wild. Bite your lip, and it’s over. Your mouth is mine.”

Fuck! I have no words to describe the intensity of the relationship between Nell and Colton. For me, these two were like each other’s therapy; soothing each other’s wounds to the point where they could finally move on from their past. The way these two communicated, whether it’s through music, or through sex, one thing is for certain: They are fucking intense. The whole story was intense. I just fucking LOVED. Every. Single. Moment.

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